Energy Drink - 555 Reviews

Initially this drink is pretty bitter. The coffee bean really takes control of the ship first and you don't know if you're going to like it. You promptly change your mind because the ship's captain relinquished his white-knuckle grip on the helm and handed it over to two adorable girls on board. The drink lighted up a bit and starts to taste like what you bought it for, orange and cranberry. Sixty, forty split, but who's counting. You don't get any of the sucralose taste either which is nice and the energy portion of the drink, unlike the tumultuous waves of the sea, isn't overwhelming and won't give you any jitters like an actual "energy drink" would.

Once girls have their fun, the captain gives the girls a smile that says, "Alright girls, move along." The ship makes it to it's destination and no one knows that for a brief second, their lives were in the hands of two little girls with no previous sailing experience outside of "fun in the tub". The captain knew and what the captain knows that no one else knows will go to his grave.

I don't know what they were working on at the National Institute of Mental Health, but things seem to have gone awry. The scientists there were using rats as test subjects, but something happened and the rodents gained incredible intelligence. Before long they were performing their own experiments while the humans were away. Led by their leader, the newly proclaimed “professor” Jonathan Frisby, the rats developed a powder that would make them stronger and even more intelligent. It works by improving mental clarity while being full of anti-oxidants. There was no sugar in it, and most importantly for the little fuzzballs, it supported joint health.

The rats had nearly perfected their formula then disaster struck. The humans came in to make up hours on the weekend. The rats scurried back into their cages, but they did not have time to collect their formula and the scientists discovered it. They assumed it was something another team was working on and for some reason ingested some, because you know that is what you do in a laboratory where you test things on rats. They discovered that when mixed in water the powder had a berry flavor that kind of also tasted like grape. One of the scientists boldly stated that he could taste the stevia in it, and it was goon to see that nothing artificial was used in its creation. They agreed that it was pretty strong, even when watered down a lot. Also, one of them pointed out that it didn't really dissolve well in the water. No matter how much they stirred it some of the powder congealed into a sludge like substance at the bottom of the glass. When they tasted it, it was like an intense diet Pixie Stix. Since there was no label on it to denote what team created it they decided to steal it for their own and sell it as a energy drink mix that had additional health benefits.

Man, were those rats pissed. Some would say they were mad…€¦ehhh? While they wallowed in their defeat two of the smaller rats conferred in a corner. When one asked what they were going to do now, the other responded with “The same thing we do every night, Pinky …€“ try to take over the world.” Several animated classics were based on these real life events. Sadly all of the rats diet due to other experiments and their famines received no royalties.

Energy drinks throw around terms like “Intense” and “Fierce” all the time. It's all about marketing and those are the kind of words that are going to catch people's eyes and make them think they will get the most bang for their buck, if you will. When you take a already potent energy drink and triple the active ingredients in a smaller can; you better believe them when they label it extreme.

I was not ready for this. It was 7PM, I had just eaten a large meal, and I knew I needed to be awake and alert until 4am or so. I know when I drink an energy drink on an empty stomach it gives me the jitters, but when I eat a meal I am normally fine. I didn't even drink this entire can (about ¾ of it) and within a half hour I was feeling a bit insane. I was a bit shaky and I could feel an energy in my entire body that needed to be put to use. Basically, I felt a more intense version of how I feel when I drink a normal energy drink on an empty stomach. It kept me going all night, and at 4am I was home and still pretty jacked up. I decided to drink a Marley Mellow Mood to be able to get some sleep, and let me tell you that was a terrible idea. Sure, my mind relaxed and I was able to sleep, but apparently my body just kept going. When I woke up the following day I felt like total garbage. It was as if I has not slept at all, and had been doing vigorous activity all night. So yeah, I don't advise mixing your downers with your uppers. I would make a terrible pill head.

As you can see the functionality of this drink worked wonderfully. Unfortunately that is not our main concern here at Thirsty Dudes. Flavor is first and foremost in our world, and that was lacking in this drink. It has a real bitterness to it, almost like vitamins were dissolved in a Red Bull, but they tried to mask it with a bit of fruity flavoring. It was kind of a chore to make it through as much of the can as I did. I guess you have to sacrifice flavor for this kind of functionality, which is a shame but at least it does what it's supposed to. I would definitely suggest this if you need to just power through your day with some help no matter the cost to your taste buds.

Vemma has been slowly building it's empire based on a promise of a healthier energy drink that does more than just get you amped up, as well as giving those beverages flavors that are outside the norm in the world of taurine, B vitamins and a whole lot of sugar. Now I seem to have left my Bunsen burners and my Erlenmeyer flasks back at the office so I was unable to perform the proper scientific research to confirm their health claims (they do seem above water though). What I can do with confidence is confirm the taste of this beverage.

This is no Red Bull, Monster or Amped clone. The Verve! line tastes like to other energy drink that I have encountered. For this can of ParTEA let's start with the fact that it is uncarbonated. This is a good thing since the base of it is green tea and as much as companies work on it, I have yet to taste a carbonated tea that I have preferred over the still variety. They have added mangosteen and aloe to the tea, which give it a nice fruity flavor. Actually the fruity flavor overpowers the tea a bit more than I would prefer it to. By a bit I mean that the tea flavor is hardly there. Such is the sadness in this world. Vemma chose to sweeten the whole deal up with a bit of organic cane sugar as well as a heaping of xylitol, which is a little used zero calorie sweetener. The result is that you end up with a fruity drink with a slight diet flavor to it that has a minimal tea taste, without any trace of the “classic” energy drink flavor to be found.

Did I need to be wearing a lab coat and goggles to type that out to you? Of course not. Did I do it anyways? Of course I did, I'm a scientist!

There is a dark secret in the Warner Brothers universe. Something the brothers in question never wanted to general public to know. You see, their beloved character Speedy Gonzales was in fact a junkie. Well I guess junkie isn't the appropriate word, as his vice was uppers, but he was indeed an addict. Do you think a mouse could really have all that energy and not be hopped up on something? I'm shocked we didn't realize it from the start. The mouse took all the pills and powders he could get his hands on if they would keep him on the move.

For his audition to become a cast member of Looney Tunes Gonzales was very nervous and he ended up drinking far too much coffee in the waiting room. As a result he was all jittery and talked way too fast. The higher ups loved the gimmick and he was hired on the spot. As a result he had to get all amped up on caffeine whenever he was shooting. All too soon the coffee wasn't enough and he moved on to over the counter caffeine pills. Before long he was making back alley deals with various sound and lighting guys. He just couldn't get enough of the sweet stuff and eventually it led to an early death of heart stoppage. His tomb stone had his catch phrase carved into it and a little yellow hat was placed upon it as his tiny little coffin was lowered into the earth. It was a sad day in Hollywood.

Decades later a Californian company has released an energy drink in honor of this star of the screen. If you ask me it's a bit tasteless to name an energy drink after a deceased speed freak. One thing that is not tasteless is the contents of the can. It is based on the delicacy from Mr. Gonzales' home country of Mexico. If you are not familiar it is a cinnamon spiced rice-milk beverage and it is delicious. Arriba did a great job with the flavor, and an even better job of it not tasting like a general energy drink below the classic taste. The weird taurine flavor is there if you search for it, but if someone poured a glass of this the drinker would have no idea that they were getting hyped up on taurine, guarana, ginseng and caffeine. It's something different for those of us who get tired of the energy drink flavor, but need the pick me up (and dislike coffee).

This homage may be in poor taste, but I can assure you that if he were alive and well today Speedy Gonzales would have stock in this company and a garage full of the stuff.

Okay sir, and what kind of oil did you want us to put into your car today? 51-50? Sir do you know anything about oil? I dare say you don't because that number has nothing to do with oil. I'm looking for a response along the lines of 10W-30 or 5W-20. The only two things I know about 51-50 is that I think they were a Canadian band in the 90's and apparently it's the California legal code for someone who is a danger to themselves and others. Oh yeah, it's also a Van Halen record, or Van-Hagar to be more precise.

You say that it's also the name of an energy drink that you partake in quite a bit? Well I've never heard of it, but I'll keep my eyes out for it. Working in this garage all day I need something to help me keep awake, and I'll tell you the coffee they have here is butt, if you'll excuse my French. Oh you have a can I can have? Well thank you sir. I mean I did just insult you, but I appreciate this.

Hmmm…€¦this is actually pretty good. It tastes different than Red Bull and it's hundreds of imitators. It has a berry heavy fruit punch style flavor, without tasting childish or cheap. It's a nice change up from the chemical citrus candy flavor that's the norm. This actually doesn't taste very chemical at all. You say it's an energy drink with a boost? What does that mean? Oh the usual suspects such as ginseng, taurine and caffeine are in here, but they also add maca and astragalus root to it? Well sir, I have no idea what those things are but it tastes good and if it gives me energy this will go on my shopping list. They are used to boost the immune system, strengthen vitality, improve sexual desire and raise resistance against fatigue? Well, this drink really does it all doesn't it?

This has been the weirded oil change I've ever given sir, but I appreciate the break and the drink. I really do need to know what kind of oil you would like me to use though.

All energy drinks taste the same. They all taste like some candied citrus chemical that upon first trying you are sure is poisoning you, but that upon repeated tasting you grow to actually enjoy. So sit right back, take a sip and welcome in the status quo…€¦

…€¦wait…€¦something…€¦is…€¦not…€¦right.

In reality what Sin Thirst Sin (Is that the official name?) gives you is not more of the same with a different label. This tastes like your drinking rose flavored butterscotch or something like that. I instantly get the rose flavor, and then something else that I couldn't place. When I searched maca I found out that it tastes like nutty butterscotch, and that is a fairly accurate description of what I could not place. The lack of taurine is what is causing the chemical taste to be lacking, and that is a good thing. For the most part this seems to rely on more natural ingredients to give the imbiber a boost of energy.

This is most certainly something new and different and it had the potential to blow me away, but then they had to go and use sucralose as a sweetener. Underneath any sort of interesting flavor is the lingering taste of death via fake sugar. Let's move past sucralose people. There are other zero calorie options out there that while they still have a specific flavor it's not as offensive as this.

Mountain Dew? For breakfast? That's right, friends. Now, you no longer just need to write code or play Halo until the wee hours of the night to earn the right to drink it. Now, housewives, chefs, music teachers, and X-ray technicians can wake up, do the stretch, and just start chugging. Best of all is that it almost doesn't taste like Mountain Dew. It tastes like a black cherry pop with some black cherry juice mixed with some Mountain Dew. Just some Mountain Dew, not all Mountain Dew. It's the better parts of Mountain Dew but it's cut off before it gets carried away.

Look, now that everyone can drink it, you'd better get it because before you know it, librarians, film historians, garbage men, lemonade repair man, ham analyst, foot doctors, and kneecap surgeons are going to be buying it all up. Get in your car now if you think that a black cherry Mountain Dew sounds good.

Popeye is back on the scene doing what he does best, using spinach to get amped. That was the whole purpose of this character right? He was a construct of Big Spinach to encourage children to eat this leafy greenness? Everything is pretty much the same, except now he's hiding the spinach in juice based energy drinks. I'm fine with that. I would also be fine with eating it outright, as I do that all the darn time.

This is an energy beverage that is 70% juice. That's a high percentage in this game, and us here at Thirsty Dudes appreciate it. While this doesn't taste like biting into a nice juicy apple, it also does not taste like fake apple candy garbage. That flavor is the worst. Probably the worst mass-produced flavor this country has ever be subjected to.

The white grape juice in here is paired up with the apple and the result is something that is a new beast altogether. Green apples and white grapes together make light green grapples, right? That is a fruit I would be all over.

This reminds me a lot of Tango Apple from the UK. I am most definitely a fan of it. The folks at Popeye suggested that we also try it hot, so I did just that. Heated, this tastes way more like hot green apple juice. It leaves you with an energy kick that would be fitting for a nice chilly autumn day. I prefer it cold, but everyone has they preferences, so maybe you would like it hot. Who am I to know?

Paint then caulk. Paint then caulk. Paint then caulk. That's all Francis was doing. He had just moved into a new house and had to caulk and paint the whole house himself. He had some time off and just wanted to knock it out as soon as he could. Paint then caulk. Such a time consuming process. Paint, wash brushes, caulk. Over and over. He knew he could spice it up a bit so he took a break for lunch and saw a new energy drink that he hadn't had before. SuperSours sounds like something he would have drank as a kid. As an adult with a fresh mortgage, he now looked back fondly at his day of youth filled with just playing with friends until the sun set night after night. Now it was just office work day in and day out. Wearing heavily starched shirts with ties, khakis, and dress shoes every day just to sell office supplies. In hindsight, it was not the life that he ever thought that he would lead.

He took a drink and it took him back to those days. He took another sip and just closed his eyes and reminisced about playing in the pool with friends, playing hockey in the street, and football in people's front yards. It was a sour that was somewhere in between a Warhead and a Jolly Rancher. It was a familiar taste that he hadn't had in years. He took another sip and it seemed more and more childish and less like it was a good idea to buy it. What was he doing? It was an energy drink that didn't taste like an energy drink, which was good, but it was a sour, sour apple drink. That was kids stuff. Why would kids drink an energy drink? Kids are filled with energy. Francis was feeling more like an adult with every sip. He said to himself, "Hey, kids can't fix a sink like me. Kids can't crunch numbers to make deals like me. I was a dumb kid. Now look at me. I've got a great haircut, a semi-babe as a girlfriend, and a sweet new house. Who needs this kid stuff? I'm a friggin' adult!" People looked at him like he was crazy. He slowly got up and walked back to his house. He grabbed the tube of caulk and started again and though to himself, "Oh yeah. This sucks. I wish I was a kid again...again."

Big Jak was a gambling man. He loved to play the ponies, roll the dice, and more importantly bet on the outcome of cards. Black Jack was his game. He loved it so much that he thought about starting to call himself “Big Black Jak,” but that just didn't sound right to him, cause…€¦well you know.

In his off time Big Jak spent his time developing beverages. He would spend hours and hours slaving away to get the balance of everything just right. The problem was that just like with the cards he always bet big. You see Big Jak may have loved black jack, but that does not mean he was any good at the game. He always bet everything he had, and had the dealer hit him, no matter what. He was so enamored with getting exactly 21 that he lost nearly every hand. This spilled over into his beverage making. The quantities of his flavorings were so high that it made them nearly undrinkable. Take this energy drink he worked on. It would have been nice to have a tasty non-carbonated energy drink that tasted like iced tea, but of course he had to go overboard. Even though he used sucralose, he used too much and it tasted so overly sweetened that you couldn't even make out the tea flavor. In addition to that he decided to add some artificial peach flavor to it that made it just plain awful. Never before has a fruit flavoring existed that tasted so fake.

Sadly, shortly after the release of this beverage Big Jak's bookies came looking for him and things did not bode well for him. That is why we talk about Big Jak in the past tense.

Popeye and the crew from Sweet Haven are back with their first foray into diet energy drinks. You see everyone thought that Wimpy had put on a bit too much weight with all his cheeseburger conniving ways. Seriously, how long does one man expect to live when all he consumes in beef patties smothered in cheese? Since his blood work came back last month he's been on a kale diet. He claims that it doesn't give him enough energy to make it through all of the whining he has to do on a daily basis, so they formulated him this lemon mint beverage. Being the health conscious team that they are, they help back on using taurine and it's friends and stuck to vitamins and caffeine. Also knowing that their friend was doomed to some burger related cancer they didn't want to speed on they also chose to sweeten the drink with erythritol/stevia.

The results of it all are a nice lemony beverage with notes of mint in it that aren't over powering. It has the stevia coolness to it, but with the lemon and the mint it's not bad at all. In fact it's fairly enjoyable, even for those of us who don't like diet drinks. Calories to flavor this can't be beat.

For those non-teetotalers out there, when my friend Steve tried this he instantly proclaimed that it would taste amazing as a mixer with vodka. This is a win-win-win for everyone right here.

First let's look at the pros:
This is a non-carbonated energy drink. While it's not entirely novel, but it's a nice option regardless. On top of that it is also an iced tea energy drink. Something about that makes it seem more natural, even though there are unnatural things afoot. The sugar content is on the lower side for these types of drinks, which is always appreciated. The final plus is that it doesn't taste like a typical energy drink. The weird chemical candy taste is not present at all. When companies can achieve that, they get my attention.

Now on to the cons:
This smells like a cheap lemon flavored iced tea, and the taste is right there as well. This tastes like it should be a close relative to Brisk. While that may be a very good thing for some people, I personally am not a fan of that fake tea taste. In fact, this doesn't taste like a “half and half” at all. There is no classic lemonade flavor in this can, it's just an overly lemon iced tea. Again, perhaps that's good for some, but I'm not on board. The final con is that along with the glucose this also has sucralose in it. That is the reason for the lower levels of sugar, but it also takes the flavor down a notch as you get hints of diet occasionally.

There it is. Take these lists and decide for yourself if this is the kind of thing you want to put in your body or not. I personally did not make it through the entire can.

Will someone out there please lie to me and confirm the thought in my head that this line of energy drinks was created for or by the 90's rapper The Lady of Rage. I want so badly for the woman who rocked ruff and stuff with her afro puffs to have shifted her attention to a Canadian beverage company. If Snoop or Dre inspired shots show up on the market I will know that everything is right in the world. Until that point I will just avoid looking it up on the internet as to keep the dream alive.

This is a diet energy/electrolytes combination drink that has a general berry flavor that leans heavily on the strawberry for it's flavor. Actually it tastes a lot like the sugar free candies that my grandmother used to always have. I never liked them at first, but I would eat them because when your grandmother offers you candy, you accept it regardless of its sugar content. Eventually I grew to like those candies, and this is similar to what I remember them tasting like (It's been probably 20 years since I've had one). What I'm saying here is that this may be diet, sweetened with sucralose even, but it still tastes a little bit of alright.

The can is pink as you can see and it has the logo for the Breast Cancer Society of Canada on it, but it also makes no mention of any profits made from sales being donated. I will assume that it is the case as them using that imagery just to boost sales and not to share the wealth is pretty devious.

Why is it these days that when energy drink companies decide to make add a diet version to their line that uses either erythritol or stevia it has a fruit punch flavor? Why not just go with your flagship flavor, and not something that is not a staple in your line? Are people out there really clamoring so much for new fruit punch drinks, especially those of the diet variety?

This isn't all that terrible for a diet fruit punch, but as a friend pointed out, if you can't take the sugar, leave the punch on the shelf. It doesn't matter how many pennies you throw in the wishing well, it will never taste the way you want it to. Luckily for everyone involved this is a Hawiian Punch style fruit punch, but more of the classic not a mouthful of syrup variety.

Here are a few final thoughts for you that are a bit disjointed. Fruit punch is a beverage for children. Children shouldn't consume energy drinks. Energy drinks shouldn't be flavored like fruit punch. Diet and fruit punch have no place together. This doesn't make me want to die drinking it, yet I stand by my previous statements.

“Finally,” I thought to myself, “the drink gods have listened to me and made a melon flavored energy drink.” You see melon can be one of the best tasting flavors for a drink to have when done correctly. I admit, it's rare that I eat actual melons, but I love the flavor when it's added to things. Unfortunately for me it must have been some sort of trickster god that created this beverage because I was pumped up (would it be watermelon, cantaloupe, or maybe honey dew since the accents on the can are green) and then was delivered a bubbly liquid that tastes absolutely nothing like any melon I've ever tasted. This is just carbonated sugar water. It doesn't even have the classic energy drink taste hiding below the surface. If I had to compare it to something I would say that it was like a lemon lime soda with even less flavor.

The can says, “DNA is science. Science is the driving force behind man's search for maximum performance. Everyone's DNA is unique. Be unique.” I guess they ended up being unique in that it doesn't taste like any other energy drinks out there. Unfortunately they have made me question science and it didn't even give me much energy. I was still spacing out a little on my drive to Chicago. This is just dumb.

Part of having a special drink is to make it special, right? Otherwise it's just a regular drink. There is nothing apparently special with this aside from the bottle, a bottle that only energy drink nerds and computer programmers would give two rips about. It tastes like a grape, Jay says "white grape" Monster. It's not terrible, but it most certainly isn't worth the five dollars I paid for it.

Want to see what we really thought? We thought you would so we made a little video of ourselves. Please to enjoy.

Did Popeye ever ingest anything other than spinach? I mean I know he was always smoking a pipe, which I'm sure smelled amazing, but in any of the comics, cartoons or the movie (where Shelley Duvall played the role she was born for) did they ever show the character of Popeye ever eating or drinking anything else? To be honest I haven't watched/read any of them in probably 15-20 years, but I will assume he only eats spinach. By that logic one would assume that his personal energy drink would contain some spinach. That is not the case. In fact, not only does this energy drink not have spinach, but it also has no taurine, or any of that other fake garbage that is in 99% of energy drinks. This is solely carbonated juice (white grape, apple and clementines) with some caffeine and vitamins added to it. There isn't even any added sugar. The result is my new favorite energy drink. Sure for those of you out there that drink a keg of coffee a day this will probably have no effect, but for those like myself that don't consume much caffeine, it's working just fine. This is the healthier side of energy drinks and I support it whole-heartedly. The clementines taste is very strong, so if you like a more bitter orange, get on this train. The aftertaste is more of the grape and apple juice, but when you first take a sip you get a nice punch in the tonsils with some tiny oranges.

Oh a side note, after watching some videos on Youtube I am convinced that if Shelley Duvall was younger now, she could be an indie darling. The young kids would eat these vocals up, check it out.

The road trip is one of the greatest joys that life can give you. Hanging out in a car with friends on a warm summer day speeding down the highway with the windows down and the radio up. I think one of the main reasons I wanted to play music was to always have extended road trips in my life. According to the little blurb on this can, Monster feels the same way. They talk about being young and working dumb jobs to pay for your summer excess, but then save enough for one last blow out trip at the end of summer. I know what they were talking about and I can fully relate. My confusion comes in the form of that statement being on a “diet” energy drink. Sure I'm sure many a road trip are fueled my caffeine and taurine, but when was the last time you or anyone you knew were at a little gas station in the middle of nowhere and someone in the car said something along the lines of, “Oh make sure you grab me a zero calorie energy drink and some yogurt”? The people they are trying to reach out to with that statement more than likely don't care about their sugar intake. They are pounding bags of Doritos and roller dogs by the gallon. Perhaps they were shooting for a nostalgia angle though; people who are older, whose metabolisms have slowed down. They have fond memories of trips past, but now they need to watch what they eat so they don't end up looking like Pizza the Hut.

Whatever their intentions, they did a good job with this energy drink. They did the unthinkable and made a diet fruit punch that doesn't taste like complete garbage. I think the secret was that they kept the punch pretty mellow, unlike the Hawiian Punch taste-a-likes in the world. Also, they used erythritol as the sweetener, which taste less like poison than sucralose or aspartame. The end result is a drink that just tastes fruity without being overbearing and only tastes mildly diet.

It's rare that I find a diet drink that I don't mind, and I could see myself purchasing again. Well done Monster Corp.

You thought that Popeye was getting his strength from spinach but there was a dirty little secret behind that. Sure, he loved the green stuff but when you weren't looking and the camera changed angles, he would slam a can of his own proprietary blend of energy drink. He was very ahead of his time. Drinking this allowed him to bend large steel beams and lift cars with ease. It was just a plot from the vegetable industry to push more spinach to kids. He made out big time; enough to start his own energy drink line.

Now Popeye knew a thing or two about healthy stuff since he did manage to learn a thing or two about his vegetables. He didn't add sugar to his energy drink and let the natural flavors of the blackberry to flavor and sweeten this drink. He even snuck in some vegetables, possibly due to contracts, to color his drink. He did manage to make a drink that tastes more like something unique rather than your cookie cutter energy drink. The blackberry taste is pretty spot on and it's even got some bitterness from the blackberry left that didn't get cut out of the mix.

With Wimpy as his terrible accountant, they are slowly taking the energy drink world by storm with the phrase, "You'll gladly pay today for a Popeye's energy drink today."