Rockstar - 28 Reviews

Rockstar Boom Whipped Strawberry

Rockstar Boom Whipped Strawberry
I don't know what type of Rockstar who would choose this nonsense as their “drink of choice,” energy related or not. It always blows my mind that energy drinks seem to be made mostly in flavors that would be of interest to mostly children. Is this like cigarette companies making their ads attractive to kids? I'm pretty sure it is. In 15-20 years I can only imagine there will be a crazy spike in the number of heart attacks due to organs being weakened over time from people constantly drinking these things.

You know those strawberry candies that come wrapped in foil/plastic that is supposed to look like a strawberry? This tastes like a watered down version of that with some skim milk in it for some reason. I know it says it's whipped, but that is still a little unnerving to me. It's like a liquid strawberries and cream that doesn't taste even remotely natural. I really chose poorly with this one.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 12/31/18, 5:35 PM
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Rockstar Xdurance Energy Ripped Red

Rockstar Xdurance Energy Ripped Red
I am not the raging human I once was. There was a time in my life where I would leave for a trip to Toronto at 9PM, get there, hang out for hours, get back in my car and drive the 1:30/2:00 home and arrive in my driveway around 5am. I was perfectly fine doing that. In fact it seemed like a completely reasonable thing to do, and I did it without the help of caffeine or any other upper. It would just be Mike, myself and what we would consider to be good music playing way too loud. These days, leaving at 6 on a December evening feels like I should just be crawling into bed and it is a complete chore. I knew there was no way I would make it back alive without some help, so on the way to the border I stopped at a gas station and picked this up. As proven by me writing this, it works. It more than works. There were no yawns. No heavy eyes. No problems whatsoever. Just complete alertness (to a detrimental effect as I couldn't fall asleep once I made it home 6 hours after drinking this.

While there is no problem with the functionality of this beverage, the taste leaves something to be desired. I know it's my fault, expecting something sweetened with sucralose to taste anything but chemical, but I keep hoping a company will crack the code that will hide that gross flavor. Ripped Red is a fruit punch of sorts that seems to be a mixture of cherry, strawberry, and cranberry; a strange, but interesting mix. I think I actually want more strawberry cranberry hybrid drinks. It's sweet and tastes like a Wonka candy that I wished existed. It's just too bad that it's all hidden under a fog of diet. Still I keep buying the low calorie energy drinks when I need them to ensure I don't pack on the pounds as I get older. No one wants a chunky Jay.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Diet and Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Author
Jason Draper on 12/12/18, 12:08 PM
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Rockstar Revolt Killer Grape

Rockstar Revolt Killer Grape
You absolutely know what you are getting yourself into when you grab one of these. If there was any question as to whether this was going to taste exactly like grape soda with melted candy in it, that goes out the window when you crack it open and that unmistakable scent floats up your nostrils. So the magic is not in the taste but in the calorie content. How is it that a 16oz can can (not the dance) contain 48g or sugar when it is sweetened with sucralose as well as sugar? What is the point of the sucralose at that point other than to distract from the grape sludge taste when it's starting to warm up and you're getting to the bottom third of the can? This is an odd product because it certainly feels like it would be enjoyed by children, but please don't feed this stuff to kids. They are annoying enough as it is and I don't need to deal with the mall hopped up on Grape Death (street name).
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 3/20/18, 9:52 AM
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Rockstar Mojito

Rockstar Mojito
This…€¦oh boy…€¦this drink. This is something. The something this is just happens to be one of the worst beverages I have ever tasted. At first my brain told me that this tastes the way that horses smell. I know that shouldn't be correct, since horses smell nothing like mint nor lime, but that was the signal that my taste buds were reporting back to my cranium. I don't even know if that makes any sense to anyone, so I will put it another way. This also tastes like what I could only assume it would be like if you cool a bottle of coolant for a car and mixed in the fakest lime flavor you have ever tasted and then gave it some sort of coolness that you will then try to trick people into thinking is mint, even though it tastes nothing like any sort of mint that you have tried before. I couldn't make it past a few sips of this. I really tried too, because I knew I was going to have a very late night, but I just could not convince myself that by drinking this I was drinking poison that would inevitably lead to my death.

This is the single worst energy drink I have ever tasted and I can only pray to whatever gods it is that I (don't) believe in that it is discontinued.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Diet and Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Author
Jason Draper on 2/25/18, 11:34 AM
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Rockstar Energy + Electrolytes Jamaica Cooler

Rockstar Energy + Electrolytes Jamaica Cooler
Jamaica? Jamaica? Are we talking the island country or are we talking about the Spanish word for hibiscus(sounds like hamica)? This just makes me think of Mr Burns in the grocery store saying ketchup and catsup over and over…€¦Jamaica…€¦hamica…€¦Jamaica…€¦hamica…€¦

I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be hibiscus via aqua fresca, but for some reason it tastes like 50% of it is an apple energy drink, which is oddly not bad. It borders on that gross fake green apple taste, but it stays on the good tasting side of that divide. It also has a bit of a Jolly Rancher strawberry taste to it. So yeah, it has a fake strawberry apple flavor with perhaps some hints of hibiscus around the edges. That sounds like it should be disgusting, but luckily it doesn't taste overly sweet, so that saves it. I get that they were going for an aqua fresca style beverage and it's kind of there. I just wish it tasted more like the style of hibiscus I love aka it mixed with cinnamon and other spices. If that was how this turned out it could have been problematic for me as I would want it all the time.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 2/17/18, 9:24 AM
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Rockstar Ginger Brew

Rockstar Ginger Brew
I don't know about anyone else, but when I think of a Rockstar slinking across the stage with the confidence that makes the straightest of males question their sexuality; I instantly think of ginger ale. Sweaty and shirtless in skintight jeans doesn't make me think of whiskey at all, just a good wholesome soda. I am obviously being sarcastic, but the truth is that while I am incredibly far from being a rock star whenever I'm playing a show if I had to choose between liquor and ginger ale, the root soda would win every single time. I am far from cool. I do have to admit that I sometimes do like to drink an energy drink before I play though. It's a bad habit that I formed from Red Bulls being stocked in green room fridges. Am I just going to say no to that? I mean I probably should, but I am weak willed. This is like that Red Bull, except it tastes nothing like a chemical flavored energy drink (which I do love) and really only tastes like ginger ale. In a blind taste test I would instantly identify it as that specific soda and would probably never guess that it would get me wired. Isn't that what any of us want? To get crazy and not have to feel like we are poisoning ourselves?
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Energy Drink and Ginger
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 2/8/18, 1:43 PM
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Rockstar Revolt Killer Citrus

Rockstar Revolt Killer Citrus
As you may know from reading thirsty Dudes (You don't, because you don't. I mean, why would you?) I have a sensitivity to caffeine and energy drinks can really screw with me. I don't drink them very often because of this. The thing is that I actually kind of like the weird energy drink taste that exists nowhere else in the beverage world. On top of that there are situations where I have to be up until nearly dawn and the chances of me staying awake that late on my own are slim. Friday was one of those nights. I knew I needed some help and figured I might as well cross another drink off the Thirsty Dudes list, so I stood way longer than any human should in front of the beverage cooler checking each of the energy drinks to our master list to see what we hadn't reviewed yet. Shockingly there were very few that we hadn't written about. I'm a fan of citrus, and the green of the can made me think it would be heavier on the lime side of things, so I chose this can of Rockstar Revolt.

This most definitely did not taste like I had anticipated. I had expected a lime version of a classic energy drink. That weird part bubblegum part citrus taste mixed with a whole lot of lime. Instead, this tastes like 7 Up or Sprite with a little something extra in it. That something is kind of like this was made from a powder and it wasn't missed up enough. There isn't an actual gritty texture to this, but it tastes like there should be. I don't understand where that is coming from. There is no trace of the “energy drink taste” that I mentioned earlier, this is its one thing. There is also no real taste of the orange juice that is listed in the ingredietns.

I personally think that lemon lime is the most boring of soda flavors, but I know there are people out there who love it, or it wouldn't be such a staple. This is going to make some people very happy.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 2/5/17, 7:51 AM
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Rockstar Energy + Electrolytes Cucumber Lime

Rockstar Energy + Electrolytes Cucumber Lime
In recent times slowly but surely we have seen a rise in the number of cucumber flavored drinks that are on the market. It's nowhere near the amount of pomegranate or acai, but every once in a while a new one will pop up, and every time I get stoked. Cucumber is a wonderful flavor that I find ridiculously refreshing. The thing is that there are two different cucumber flavors, the pleasant “meat” of the vegetable flavor, which is what I usually find ideal, and the slightly dirty taste of the skin, which I still enjoy, but just not as much. I have some friends who hate the second version (I'm looking at you Jay Zubricky). Upon first sip of this I thought to myself, “This is more skin that meat, but I'm okay with it. It tastes pretty fantastic and it doesn't really taste like an energy drink. “ By the time I had taken two more sips my opinion had completely changed and I had had enough of this drink. What went from a slightly dirty, yet pleasant, cucumber flavor suddenly took a drastic turn into the world of diet sugar water that only vaguely tasted like cucumber let alone lime. I knew that they used a mixture of real sugar and sucralose in here to keep the calories low, but at first the fake sugar flavor was nowhere to be found. Suddenly it was all I could taste. I didn't even make it through half the can before I dumped it out on the side of the road. Well, at least it gave me a little bit of pep, even though my taste buds suffered for it.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Diet and Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 7/11/16, 7:21 PM
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Rockstar Organic Island Fruit Flavor

Rockstar Organic Island Fruit Flavor
I know a lot of people who say things like, “Well obviously I would prefer organic, but without all of the chemicals, energy drinks just don't work.” Okay maybe no one has ever said that to me, but it's basically the message that comes across. I'm here to day to tell those people that they are very wrong, and I have a restless night to prove it to them. I knew I had to stay up late last night, so around 8PM I drank 2/3 of this can. At 4:30AM I was still tossing and turning for no other reason than I partook in this beverage. That's right, I didn't even consume the entire can and over 8 hours later I couldn't rest no matter what I tried. To be fair I am more sensitive to caffeine than your average person, but that is a ridiculous amount of time for it to still be effecting me. All of its energy comes from green coffee beans and guarana seed extract, butI promise you that these Rockstar Organic energy drinks do work, and you can down them without feeling terrible about putting a bunch of chemicals into your body.

As an added bonus to the effects, this tastes pretty great as well. It may not contain any juice, but it has a nice passion fruit flavor mixed with a general exotic tropical fruit amalgamation. I'm pretty sure there is guava involved in there, but maybe that is me tasting what I want to taste. It doesn't matter if it's in there or not, it's one of the best tasting energy drinks I've ever tasted.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 2/21/16, 4:47 PM
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Rockstar Roasted Mocha

Rockstar Roasted Mocha
Section one: The False Apology
Sorry (not sorry) this is the third coffee drink in a row.

Section two: The Review
Editor Dan and I went to Toronto to see Zombi, a prog/synth band from Pittsburgh that we hadn't seen in over a decade. The show didn't start until 9:30 and it was a two-ish hour drive home. It was a late night and only got later. What do you do? Coffee, right? That's the right thing to do. I thought that coffee plus additional energy would do the trick, which I did since I'm alive to write this review and now sitting in a ditch upside down off the QEW.

Was it an enjoyable experiment? It was "fine." It was strangely smooth. It seems that all of the sweetened coffee drinks from the United States lost all the edge or the bitterness of coffee, lately. Maybe it's canned, sweetened coffee. It all is starting to taste like thinner, melted, coffee iced cream. I don't want that. I don't think that I expected a high quality roast since Rockstar is not a coffee company first, but this seems like they cut a lot of corners and just bought "coffee flavor." This did not taste like an energy drink which I appreciate.

It did its job and that's what's important. I suppose that it was just "OK" was secondary. Strange, but secondary.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Coffee and Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Author
Mike Literman on 11/9/15, 11:15 AM
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Rockstar Pure Zero Silver Ice

Rockstar Pure Zero Silver Ice
Tonight my band is playing our first show in a while. Due to a lack of sleep and printing mass amounts of shirts all day I am exhausted and was looking for a pick me up for a late night. Of course the only energy drink I had on deck is by Rockstar, so even though I could have drunk it and not mentioned a thing I will let the world know that it made me feel like a turd drinking this when I have a show. I feel like the type of person that drinks these before they play are also the same people who would wear Affliction clothing, and have fifteen minute drum solos in their sets. I call for no nonsense and while I enjoy the taste of most Rockstar beverages, I kind of hate the name and can imagine annoying people referring to each other as “rock star” and that is something that chills me.

All valley girl voices aside, this is way better than anticipated. The inclusion of sucralose in any beverage, even when paired with erythritol is generally bad news. In here it's not too bad, well as long as you don't let it warm up. I don't know how to describe what I would expect “silver ice” to taste like, but this drink is pretty accurate. It's very crisp and somehow tastes clean. Sure there's a bit of diet in there, but it doesn't ruin the drink. It also doesn't taste like a typical energy drink, diet or regular. It kind of has a lemon-lime flavor, but not really. It is its own beast and I'm into it. My name is Jason Draper and I approve this zero calorie energy drink.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Diet and Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Author
Jason Draper on 6/3/15, 4:13 PM
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Rockstar Sparkling Cherry Citrus

Rockstar Sparkling Cherry Citrus
Welcome to the international belching competition. This year we have a lot of top notch competitors and we're hoping to break some records for decibels and for length of belches. Before reigning champion Michelle Dowanowa produces the ceremonial first burp we'd like to announce that our sponsor for this years games is Rockstar Energy. Each of our contestants will be given a can of the new “Sparkling” line of Rockstar in order to produce the largest ball of gas that they can muster from their mouth.

Now I know what you're thinking, “Aren't all Rockstar drinks carbonated, why do they need a Sparkling line?” Well that would have been true a few short years ago, but since then the company has delved into teas, sports drinks and various other styles of beverages that are bubble free.

Let me tell you the reign of still energy drinks will come to an end as soon as you crack one of these cans open. They are one of the most carbonated drinks that this announcer has encountered in a long, long time. I took one sip and I was a regular Barney Gumble. We are all in for an auditory treat once the contestants down their cans.

Life is not all burps and games, and we are contractually obligated to give you a bit for information about these energy drinks. First off this is the least diet tasting, sucralose sweetened drink I have ever tasted. You can tell that something is up with the flavor, and that they didn't use real sugar, but it doesn't taste like diet first, and cherry citrus second. Overall the flavor is very light. The ridiculous amount of carbonation distracts from the flavor a bit, but that is what some people want. I can certainly think of times in my life where this would be exactly what I need to satiate me. A nice light cherry limeade with a little orange thrown into the mix.

Now if you will all stand as our team of past champions will burp the national anthem's of all of the participants home countries.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Diet and Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Author
Jason Draper on 5/18/14, 12:39 PM
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Rockstar Super Sours Energy Drink Green Apple

Rockstar Super Sours Energy Drink Green Apple
Paint then caulk. Paint then caulk. Paint then caulk. That's all Francis was doing. He had just moved into a new house and had to caulk and paint the whole house himself. He had some time off and just wanted to knock it out as soon as he could. Paint then caulk. Such a time consuming process. Paint, wash brushes, caulk. Over and over. He knew he could spice it up a bit so he took a break for lunch and saw a new energy drink that he hadn't had before. SuperSours sounds like something he would have drank as a kid. As an adult with a fresh mortgage, he now looked back fondly at his day of youth filled with just playing with friends until the sun set night after night. Now it was just office work day in and day out. Wearing heavily starched shirts with ties, khakis, and dress shoes every day just to sell office supplies. In hindsight, it was not the life that he ever thought that he would lead.

He took a drink and it took him back to those days. He took another sip and just closed his eyes and reminisced about playing in the pool with friends, playing hockey in the street, and football in people's front yards. It was a sour that was somewhere in between a Warhead and a Jolly Rancher. It was a familiar taste that he hadn't had in years. He took another sip and it seemed more and more childish and less like it was a good idea to buy it. What was he doing? It was an energy drink that didn't taste like an energy drink, which was good, but it was a sour, sour apple drink. That was kids stuff. Why would kids drink an energy drink? Kids are filled with energy. Francis was feeling more like an adult with every sip. He said to himself, "Hey, kids can't fix a sink like me. Kids can't crunch numbers to make deals like me. I was a dumb kid. Now look at me. I've got a great haircut, a semi-babe as a girlfriend, and a sweet new house. Who needs this kid stuff? I'm a friggin' adult!" People looked at him like he was crazy. He slowly got up and walked back to his house. He grabbed the tube of caulk and started again and though to himself, "Oh yeah. This sucks. I wish I was a kid again...again."
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Author
Mike Literman on 1/5/14, 9:07 PM
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Rockstar Recovery Energy/Tea/Lemonade

Rockstar Recovery Energy/Tea/Lemonade
First let's look at the pros:
This is a non-carbonated energy drink. While it's not entirely novel, but it's a nice option regardless. On top of that it is also an iced tea energy drink. Something about that makes it seem more natural, even though there are unnatural things afoot. The sugar content is on the lower side for these types of drinks, which is always appreciated. The final plus is that it doesn't taste like a typical energy drink. The weird chemical candy taste is not present at all. When companies can achieve that, they get my attention.

Now on to the cons:
This smells like a cheap lemon flavored iced tea, and the taste is right there as well. This tastes like it should be a close relative to Brisk. While that may be a very good thing for some people, I personally am not a fan of that fake tea taste. In fact, this doesn't taste like a “half and half” at all. There is no classic lemonade flavor in this can, it's just an overly lemon iced tea. Again, perhaps that's good for some, but I'm not on board. The final con is that along with the glucose this also has sucralose in it. That is the reason for the lower levels of sugar, but it also takes the flavor down a notch as you get hints of diet occasionally.

There it is. Take these lists and decide for yourself if this is the kind of thing you want to put in your body or not. I personally did not make it through the entire can.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea and Lemonade
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Author
Jason Draper on 11/27/13, 12:01 PM
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Rockstar Pure Zero Punched

Rockstar Pure Zero Punched
Why is it these days that when energy drink companies decide to make add a diet version to their line that uses either erythritol or stevia it has a fruit punch flavor? Why not just go with your flagship flavor, and not something that is not a staple in your line? Are people out there really clamoring so much for new fruit punch drinks, especially those of the diet variety?

This isn't all that terrible for a diet fruit punch, but as a friend pointed out, if you can't take the sugar, leave the punch on the shelf. It doesn't matter how many pennies you throw in the wishing well, it will never taste the way you want it to. Luckily for everyone involved this is a Hawiian Punch style fruit punch, but more of the classic not a mouthful of syrup variety.

Here are a few final thoughts for you that are a bit disjointed. Fruit punch is a beverage for children. Children shouldn't consume energy drinks. Energy drinks shouldn't be flavored like fruit punch. Diet and fruit punch have no place together. This doesn't make me want to die drinking it, yet I stand by my previous statements.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Diet and Energy Drink
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Author
Jason Draper on 11/25/13, 9:56 PM
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Rockstar Recovery Grape

Rockstar Recovery Grape
I believe there is a flaw in the basic nature of this beverage. How I see it is that you would want to drink an energy drink prior to doing strenuous activity that would require hydration. Wouldn't you want that extra boost to help you push through whatever it is that you're doing? Does added hydration do anything previous to any sort of workout? I suppose you could sip this while you are in the process of whatever it is that you are doing. Would the energy boost hit you in time though? I certainly don't get it.

Another thing that I don't get is the flavor. Grape has got to be one of the easiest flavors ever (right along side orange), yet they have somehow messed it up with this. What little non-diet/energy flavor that is present almost tastes more berry than grape. Whatever it is, it's not very pleasant. It's certainly doesn't taste good enough to denote a 24oz can.

I'm going to stick to the one serving out of the three that are in this can, and introduce the rest to the drainage system in my house. It has no place in my person.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Author
Jason Draper on 10/14/13, 4:40 PM
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Rockstar Recovery Orange

Rockstar Recovery Orange
Does anyone else have second thoughts about drinking a beverage that pops when you twist off the cap and an eerie smoke pours out of the opening? I feel like I should be wearing a has mat suit with some thick gloves that you can handle uranium with. Essentially it makes me feel like this beverage should not exist outside of some lab somewhere.

Being as I am a scientist, specifically one with a degree in drinkology (no , not like some pretentious mixologist, I had to spend eight years in college to get my degree), I through caution of radioactivity to the wind an dove in head first. By that I mean I took a small tentative sip. I can safely say that this does not taste nuclear, and I have no fear of my pee coming out glowing later.

The strange thing about this beverage is that it is made with real orange juice (it's the second ingredient, but it's only 3% of the whole), yet it still tastes like Tang. Have they ever thought of marketing this as an energy drink for astronauts? I imagine that is exactly what space explorers do not need though. They're stuck up in orbit for months at a time with, what I expect is little to do for a good portion of their days. Why would they want to be all hopped up on energy drinks? I think I would like to sleep through as much as that experience as possible. So yeah, nix that idea.

As part of the recovery line this beverage is meant to give you energy as well as hydrate you. Think of it as Rockstar meets Gatorade with sexy results!!! Wait, that's not right. There is nothing sexy about this. It tastes like Gatorade made a Tang flavor and then they added a bit of an energy compound to it. It doesn't taste too much like chemicals, but it's there around the edges. Actually it's there in a way that makes it taste vaguely diet, even though it's sweetened with sucrose.

On a side note, while I do like the idea that it is in a resealable can, I have to say that about a third of the sips I took resulted in some sort of splash back that got on my clothes. Either they need to work on the design a bit, or I need to learn how to drink properly.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement and Diet
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Author
Jason Draper on 9/1/13, 1:05 PM
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Rockstar Energy Water Orange Tangerine

Rockstar Energy Water Orange Tangerine
Gerald, you just won a big race but I didn't tell you that I have a flat tire and we actually have to run to return this copy of "Bridemaids" to the video store and it closes in fifteen minutes. I have for you a small bottle of energy water. It's like water but it's got some extra goodies in it. What goodies? I don't know; what am I, a scientist? Did I make the drink? No, Gerald. I did not make the drink. Every minute that we're stuck talking about the drink is time that you could be running to the video store. Yeah, I'm surprised that they made the movie on VHS, too but they did. What do I look like, Gerald? A rich person? Only rich people use DVDs. Blu-Ray? What's that?

What does it taste like? Jesus Christ, Gerald. It tastes a little like Tang but a little bit thicker and a little bit more diet. It's good. I had one and I'm wasting my energy talking to you about the where's'it's and who's'it's of this drink. Just get out of here. You don't have to worry about your precious figure because there are no calories in the entire bottle.

Thank you, Gerald, for finally returning my video. Now when you get there, see if they have a VHS copy of "Bachlorette." I'm on a real "bad girl wedding" tear right now.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Energy Drink and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Author
Mike Literman on 8/20/13, 5:09 PM
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Rockstar Energy Water Blueberry Pomegranate Acai

Rockstar Energy Water Blueberry Pomegranate Acai
Oh you hate energy drinks? First, "hate" is a strong word. Hate should only be assigned to things like racism, which should, in itself be abolished. Such a vague, ignorant statement, but I'm saying that the word "hate" should be more reserved than it is.

Secondly, you can now put an asterisk next to your previous ignorant statement because this doesn't taste like an energy drink. It is still an energy drink, yet it actually tastes pretty good. It tastes a little like everything and a lot like fruit punch. The acai is a little overpowering but not offensively. The pomegranate and blueberry are there but not really distinguishing enough to call them what they are.

Fruit distinction aside, this is good. It's light, not too sweet, and still a deceiving energy drink. You tricky bastard. You're going to accidentally make parents lose their mind because they're going to buy juice thinking it's just juice and they will read the fine print and quickly realize why their kids are just non-stop running around in circles constantly narrowly avoiding the grasp of the parent's hands. Sorry parents. Don't say that I didn't warn you.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Energy Drink and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Author
Mike Literman on 8/14/13, 2:22 PM
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Rockstar Recovery Lemonade

Rockstar Recovery Lemonade
Right off the bat I would like to, like a solid jerk, stay on both sides of this fence. On one side, the one with the greener grass, hotter women, and more delicious hot dogs, this is a good energy drink. It tastes like alright lemonade but that's good because it doesn't taste like uber-sweet energy drinks. It doesn't have that offensive diet taste unless you let it sit there and drop to room temperature. That's when the sucrose rears its ugly head. These are all good with a little asterisk next to it what with it being a diet energy drink.

The other side of the fence filled with gross, wet hot dogs, women with poor teeth and even worse personal hygiene, and dead, dog urine soaked grass, come the bad parts. My gosh I would like these heart palpitations to stop. I ate a full lunch. A big old Greek-ish wrap filled with delicious fixins. Still, about a half hour after I started I'm having strange heartbeats. I thought this would be different because I ate but nope. I felt like I could run up and down the stairs a trillion times or that I should to work off the bad beats my ticker was making.

So there you go. Take your side. If you and your heart can take a punch, you are in luck. If you are sensitive to energy drinks I ask you to stay away and just drink coffee for your jolts.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink and Lemonade
Company
RockstarWebsite@Rockstar6969
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Author
Mike Literman on 8/6/13, 4:07 PM
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Amazon.com
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