Italian Volcano - 2 Reviews

Italian Volcano Lemonade

Italian Volcano Lemonade
Pete went to Italy to try to experience new things. He was a huge car fan and really wanted to see Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Alfa Romeos in their natural habitat. On the plane over he said that he wanted to see a Countach, 512 TR, and a GTV 6. Anything else was pure icing.

Pete was there for a couple days and didn't see any of the main cars on his list. Sure, he saw some Alfa 164s, some newer Murcielagos and a Ferrari Mondial but he saw those in the States a fair amount. He was only there for one day and he decided to get something to drink. He stopped at an Italian cafe and rather than drink some coffee, he decided to get something local to where he was, which was lemonade. He sat down with his lemonade and watched as his final hours passed him. He was happy, though. He got to relax and now he was relaxing with a pretty good lemonade. It was lightly sweetened enough to let the sourness of the lemon to come through. Also, it made him feel good that there was pulp in there. It made him feel like it was handmade.

Just as he was finishing up, he heard something loud coming around the corner. He looked up and a gorgeous, red Ferrari F40 sped past him. He never though he'd see one and thought that it was alright that he didn't see the other ones. Maybe next time, he thought.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Lemonade
Company
Italian VolcanoWebsite
Country
Italy
Sweetener
Dehydrated Rice Syrup
Author
Mike Literman on 11/24/13, 7:51 PM
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Italian Volcano 100% Organic Blood Orange Juice

Italian Volcano 100% Organic Blood Orange Juice
It is a little known fact that in Italy volcanoes reign supreme. Many know that such practices occur in places such as Indonesia, but for centuries the denizens of “The Boot” have kept their rituals a secret. I'm about to blow up their spot in a major way.

I'm going to go ahead and ruin everyone's fun right away; they don't perform human sacrifices. I mean they aren't savages. They aren't trying to over throw the world. They are just looking to help their crops, by appeasing to some old gods. You might find yourself asking why has it been kept such a tight-lipped secret for all this time. It's simple actually, with the Vatican basically in their back yard; you don't really want to upset the Holy See with what they would see as false worship. Basically if the church blacklists you, your tourist trade goes in the turlet.

Back to the important garbage: The main item that is sacrificed to the volcano gods is blood oranges. You know how gods are all into symbolism, well they like to pretend that the juice of the blood orange is actually human blood, like the old days. Gross. The Italians may not be savages, but the gods really wished they were. Some people just throw bushels of oranges into the fiery depths, but others believe that the gods prefer you to take the time with your sacrifice and juice it. I mean, what's more impressive: a tiny body, or a big jug of blood?

Dream Foods started pilfering from their sacrifices in order to sell the deliciousness to the public outside of the country. With a mixture of three different varieties of blood oranges with no sugar added, how can you go wrong? It tastes like a mix between a sweet orange and a grapefruit. It's glorious. Once you get a taste, you'll never want to go back to plain orange juice again. Don't let the name fool you though. This is not an Italian soda; it's not carbonated. It is straight up juice meant for a sacrifice. By drinking it you may be taking away from fields of rigatoni and penne, that would feed a nation, but hell, I think it's worth it.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Juice
Company
Italian VolcanoWebsite
Country
Italy
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Jason Draper on 11/19/12, 10:48 AM
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