Seattle's Best Coffee - 3 Reviews

Ahh the blender: one of the least used appliances in my kitchen. I've got a novelty hot dog maker that I use tenfold over the blender. I've got a food processor that I use predominantly to mix up cooked vegetables to hide in Mac & Cheese so my dumb son will eat healthy. I know I said that I'm against it, but kids nowadays. Jesus Christ. What a bunch of idiots. Eat some damn peas.

Blender...right...prep for this couldn't be easier. A little bit of milk in the blender, pour in the contents of the bag, mix, done. Well, yes, it is kind of like that but not really. I thought we had a good mixer. My girlfriend makes healthy smoothies like four days a week with it but when it comes to frozen chunks of chocolate this thing threw the ingredients to the side like an Italian mother throws properly cooked spaghetti at the wall. I had to blend, push down with a wooden spoon, blend, spoon, blend, spoon, to the point where I said, "Screw this. It's done." I poured it into a cup where there was no way in hell I was ever going to get it through a straw so I had to use a spoon. I almost shouldn't be reviewing this since I couldn't drink it but since it is technically a drink, a review had to be performed.

Was it good? Yeah. It was like a whipped chocolate ice cream that has a small hint of coffee to it. Disappointing? A bit. I would have liked this jerk to blend properly and I would have liked to actually drink it rather than eat it with a spoon out of a cup like I don't know how to operate any piece of silverware, appliance, and glassware in my whole house. Don't make me feel that way, bro.

You know who agrees with me but in a nicer, more photo-friendly way? Our dogg Marvo at The Impulsive Buy.

If all coffee drinks tastes like this, I would be thrilled. I had a busy day. I did my girlfriend's brakes, took the dogs for a long walk in the park, went grocery shopping, and when I got home, I knew what I had to do.

Now, when you get home from a day like that, everything's got to be right. In order to set the mood, I put on Pet Shop Boys Yes, which finally arrived from the UK. It's good. Not over the top at all. I am a huge Pet Shop Boys fan so I was excited when I liked everything I heard from a newer album. I mean, come on, they can't all be Please, am I right? That album is in my top five pop albums of all time list.

So with Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe doing what they do best, serenading me, I decided it was time to get my coffee drink on. I have liked iced mocha drinks in the past, and this was no different. It has a lot more chocolate than previous mocha drinks had, and that's a good thing. I liked it a lot, to the point where I would buy this again. You should buy this more than once because you don't have a cache of three shelves of drinks to go through, so for me to say I would buy it again has weight.

Neil and Chris, don't ever break up. I don't see any album nowadays pushing you out of that top five spot. I also don't see anyone pushing Tracey Thorn and Ben Watt's Temperamental out of there, either. Serious gems people.

This past week, I saw the band Minus The Bear. They were wonderful and the headliner, The Velvet Teen, was also pretty impressive. They were like an early 2000's indie-rock/math-rock band meets Mutemath. Anyhow, reason I bring up Minus The Bear is that they are from Seattle, so I'm sure they know a thing or two about good coffee. Me personally, I don't know anything about any coffee, only what I hear from other people. Since everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, I don't even take that with a ton of weight. Also, I like to form my own opinion so here goes.

With little if any investigation of the coffee of Seattle, I feel that I can safely say that this is not Seattle's Best Coffee. I am not saying that this is bad, because it's actually quite good. It's got a light, foamy latte flavor and the vanilla definitely cuts the coffee taste. Between the vanilla and the sugar, you've got a nice coffee drink that's suitable for many occasions. Not "high tea" but basically any other occasion.

Now back to the competition that this company started when it named it's company "[Location]'s Best [Item]". That's a ballsy move; I've got to say. Now it's printed on cans and bottles and bags and people are going to read it and just assume that it is, in fact, Seattle's Best Coffee. I am sure that people who work for the company probably sneak out at 3am, travel through the seemingly endless rain while listening to either "Bleach", "Ten", or "This Is What I Know About Being Gigantic" and go to another coffee place they think is better than their own.

Bands from Seattle, voice your opinions. I've going to need some indigenous opinions on what was said here.