United States - 4098 Reviews

It's simple math folks. Triple XXX = "XXX XXX XXX." It's like kids who first get into the straight edge culture and over compensate with a million X's everywhere. My friends and I were dumb like that when we were younger. I understand it. I'm also older now and I don't feel a need to put a single X on anything let alone a couple dozen. Even though that is true I have to admit that the triple X on this bottle made the memory of 16 year old me a little giddy. When I used to go to parties everyone would be drinking beer, and I'd be drinking root beer. Even though I'm 99.9999% sure this company has no ties to any subculture (It was originally made by a family owned restaurant) I'd like to pretend that it's embracing straight edge. It also got me excited that the bottle claims it "Tastes like root beer used to taste."

The label leaves much to be desired, so even though I liked the idea of this root beer my hopes were pretty low. If this bottle were a CD it looks like it would go straight to the "cut out bin." My mom was right. Looks can be deceiving. This is a pretty darn good root beer. It has an IBC-esque flavor, but darker and bolder. I think it falls somewhere between lower level fancy root beer and some real deal cowboy brew. It's got a somewhat decent bite and a nice vanilla aftertaste, which is a nice pleasant surprise. Now excuse me. I need to find my extras thick Sharpie, so I can draw some huge X's on my hand and dance around my room like an idiot to some terrible bands from the 90's.

Pomegranates: +1
Nectarines: -1
Coconut Water: 0

Total Score: 0

Regardless of the rather neutral score, I was somewhat enthusiastic to try it. Maybe it's because I don't ingest a lot of nectarine flavored drinks. I don't like to eat oranges, but I enjoy the orange flavor. I sped drank think before the coconut water took over. You know, the inherent chalkiness that comes with a coconut drink. You get a flavor, and it's fruity, but I personally couldn't distinguish between pomegranate and nectarine.

If I had to make a list of coconut drinks for people who don't like coconut drinks, this would be one on the list.

New Review:
Since we have given such good marks to all of their other products, Cintron sent us another bottle of this and asked us if we'd try again. I had no problem with it, especially since Derek said he actually liked this one. The company sent it and it's been sitting on my shelf for a month or two.

I finally got around to trying it today, and I don't know what my problem was before. Sure it's not the greatest tasting thing in the world, but neither are any energy shots. Maybe I got a bad one before, who knows. All I can say now is that it tastes like diet cranberry juice concentrate with energy drink junk in it. I wouldn't drink huge glasses of it, but you're not meant to. It tastes more like diet cranberries than it does energy garbage, and that is all you can really ask for. I'm bumping you from a 1 to a 3 Cranberry Splash. I hope you're happy with your new home.


Old Review:
Cintron knows how to make a tasty energy drink. They have even managed to make some quality energy shots, which are by definition disgusting. Unfortunately with this offering they have fallen short. The bitterness of the cranberry flavor does not help the already gross energy shot flavor. Instead of masking the grossness, it possibly makes it worse. The sucralose used to sweeten it makes it taste like diet toxic waste. I'm sorry Cintron. I really wish we could have given you all top marks, but this is probably the worst energy shot I've ever tasted. So dear readers you should just pick up their other flavors. They are a company that deserves to be able to shine.

I don't know Bob Marley. I mean, come on, I'm a 29 year old, Jewish, white kid from Buffalo. The only thing I know about Bob Marley is that he's probably rolling in his grave because of the fact that every time you think of him, you think of weed, or how you have a tapestry at home with his face on it, or just tie die. It's unfortunate. I am not going to pretend to know anything about him because pretending to do so will do his life a great injustice. I'm not against him or whatever he believed in and I would like to watch a documentary because I feel that at one point, he was so influential to a people, that he's still as great as he was today. Also, I don't read so a video is the only way that I'm going to take it in. Even Wikipedia is going to be too much to read. That man grew those dreads so we could all see them.

I don't know who's putting out all these Marley drinks, because we all know it's not Bob. He's not signing his name on the dotted line saying, "Yeah, mon. I would love to put me name on dis tea das gonna put ya ta sleep." Someone is forging his name and he keeps pushing out products and the dead Bob Marley is just pulled into it. So "Bob" wants me to drink this coffee drink that he makes and I'll do it.

It's good. It's smooth and doesn't have as strong a coffee taste as many other coffee drinks like a Starbucks. It's not too sweet, and it gives me this coffee stuck to my tongue type deal so that makes it seem genuine and like the coffee you know and love.

Bob, may you rest in peace. If you were here when I was drinking this, you'd better believe that I'd share it. 80/20, advantage you. You win, brother.

Since the 1890's the Van Helsing family has hunted the ever-elusive vampire Vlad the Impaler. He was the most feared man in the eastern block until it came out that he was not a man at all. When people realized his lack of humanity they began referring to him only as Dracula the lord of the undead.

It is not the 21st century and Ludwig Van Helsing (his mother was a fan of classical music) has finally tracked down Dracula to a remote town in Upstate New York. It is now his turn to go face to face with the ruler of the undead just as each of his male ancestors have in the past (In Bram Stoker's novel it claims that Abraham Van Helsing slayed the dark one, but that is nothing but a conspiracy to cover up the truth to keep the towns people calm. It was typical of politicians of the time.). It mid June and it's a nice warm day. The sun is shining and Ludwig takes that as a good sign. He parks his rental car at the front gate and walks up to the door of the mansion. He rings the bell, but no one answers. It's probably for the best, anyways his Intel informed him that there is a cave around back and that is where Dracula slumbers during the daylight hours. Ludwig digs around the piles of Burger King and Arby's wrappers in his back seat and produces a crossbow. He thinks it's kind of stupid, but the retro look of it is kinda bitchin'. He walks around the yard, waving to the neighbor next door who's mowing his lawn, and finds himself at the entrance of the cave. Ludwig is pretty much resigned to the fact that this is where he dies. I mean every male of his family has met the reaper under similar circumstances, but whatever this planet is going down the turlet anyways. If The Impaler doesn't get him, he'll probably end up with cancer or AIDS in the next year anyways. With that thought he stepped into the darkness.

About 100 feet inside the mouth of the cave Ludwig came upon a large wooden door. It looked as if he would never be able to open it himself, but with one small shove it flew open. You have to hand it to the prince of darkness; he sure doesn't let his property fall into disrepair. Inside the room was a smaller room that was built out of black steel, with what appeared to be elevator doors on it. Ludwig pushed the button and the doors slid open exposing what appeared to be the world's most comfortable bed. Ludwig momentarily forgot his charge and just lost himself thinking about taking a little nap. In the middle of the bed was Lord Dracula with a nice lacy sleep mask on, Ludwig slowly crept towards the bed, careful not to make a sound. Just as he was about a foot away he stepped on a remote control and Miley Cirus' "Party in the USA" started blaring from the stereo system. Oddly enough Dracula just rolled over. I guess a couple of hundred year of being undead really makes you a sound sleeper. Ludwig shrugged, pointed his crossbow and put and arrow right through the vampire's heart. Dracula screamed, exorbitant amounts of blood shot out of his chest and then he and all his fluids burned up, like he never existed. "Huh." was all Ludwig could say. It was way easier than he ever would have imagined.

His whole life had been built around stalking and then being killed by Dracula, and now that it was over and he was still alive he was completely unprepared. So he ended up moving into Dracula's house. There wasn't much inside except cases of empty bottles marked "Dracula's Blood." He didn't want to put them to the curb in the recycling bins for fear that the local homeless would then constantly rummage through his trash looking for more returnables. Instead he took up the hobby of making soda pop, and used the bottles to hold his wares. What else was he going to do, get a job? I think not. Since the bottles said "Dracula's Blood" already he decided to make a strawberry soda. It didn't turn out as well as he would have hoped. Here he was with all these rad looking bottles, with a sup par soda to fill them. He guessed it kind of tasted like strawberries, but it was more of a generic soda flavor with a generic berry undertone to it. The closer you got to the bottom the stronger the flavor became, but what good is it to have a few sips be tasty when over half the bottle be extremely disappointing. The town folks all laughed at him. Sure he had killed the father of the undead, but he still couldn't make a high quality soda. They didn't hesitate to remind him that you're only as good as your last achievement. Man he should have just given up after committing monster homicide.

There are many things in my life that I could do without. I could do without ever hearing the Robert Palmer cover of T-Rex ever again. I could do without taking a bite of the sandwich I made in the dark only to discover from taste that the roll is moldy. I could also do without having to pay rent and bills (I got out of it for over a year and I liked the way that freedom tasted). One thing that I am slowly learning that I cannot do without is sugar in my soda. I know it's terrible for you in pretty much every way, but it just tastes so much better to me. I've tried going the diet route or the unsweetened route and they just are not for me. If it's something you can stomach and actually enjoy more power to you. I wish I was in your shoes, but unfortunately I'm not.

Sans is not a soda that is marketed towards people like me, but I will say it is better than most diet pops. I would choose stevia over aspartame any day. It has a true orange scent to it, which is more than most regular pops give you. At first it's not so bad. A couple of sips and I thought that I would actually enjoy this whole can. It tastes somewhere between a traditional orange soda and something like Orangina. Unfortunately, the further in you get the more of the sweetener you taste. The orange flavor lessens and it tastes more like the coolness of stevia.

I didn't enjoy this beverage very much, but it is also the best diet orange soda I've ever had, so given that it has a handicap I'll give it a better rating. If you're into diet definitely give Sans a try.

This should be something I love. Over the past year or so I've fallen in love with low sugar "dry" sodas. They provide the bubbles and the flavors that I need without being anything more than liquefied sweetener. The thing is I think that a very small amount of sugar may be needed when drinks are carbonated. I still don't understand it after 32 years on this planet; if you drink a glass of water it's cool refreshing and tasty (in a tasteless kind of way), but if you take that same water and carbonate it the flavor changes. It acquires this taste that is borderline bitter. Is it the CO2 that I taste? I can only assume it is, and it can ruin drinks for me. If that added taste wasn't there this drink would be perfect. It has a light pear taste and there is a nice mellow ginger aftertaste. This is the kind of drink that you could enjoy after a nice meal. It's just too bad that I can't get over the "seltzer water" taste it has. Seriously, if this were uncarbonated I would probably be raving about it. Dear taste buds, please start liking the taste of unsweetened carbonated water. There is a world of drinks out there that are way better for us that we are just not enjoying because of it.

When I read the review that Liz Prince wrote for us for Big Red I was kind of shocked. I was almost positive that I had tried this soda before and that I really liked it. I remembered it tasting like Crush's red cream soda. After the review came out the company sent us a couple of bottles of their throwback version that is made with cane sugar. It sat in my cupboard for a while, but I decided to finally drink it tonight. After a single sip I knew I was mistaken and that I had never drank this before. There is no way that I would forget that weird bubble gum/7Up flavor. I certainly am not a fan. I don't normally like bubble gum flavored sodas to begin with, but this was worse than most. It has a very sudden gum flavor that quickly fades away into a lemon lime type of flavor that fades into something that I can only compare to when the ratio of syrup to soda water is off in a fountain machine. All of that plus it's way more sugary than your average soda pop. On top of that it randomly has caffeine in it. I didn't realize that until I forced myself to drink half the bottle. I had already decided I wasn't going to finish it, due to the taste, but that's set in stone now because of the caffeine. It's a little late and I'm a man who likes to actually sleep well in the winter.

I agree with Mrs. Prince; this stuff is garbage. Texas you have done us wrong. Why don't you just stick to making iced tea? You do an outstanding job with that. Leave the soda making to the northerners.

I'd like to think that when Talking Rain was trying to get an advertising campaign together for this line of drinks someone in the board meeting spoke up about it being the obvious choice to have Chuck Berry as a spokesperson. I'd like to think that the idea (along with a sampler of drinks) even made it to Mr. Berry's desk. He sat back in his chair and thought to himself "Well, why not?" He was getting up their in years and wasn't able to perform nearly as much as he used to. Also, the contracts he signed early in his youth didn't really pan out for him as well as they should have. Why not take on one last job? It would be easy. They could just play his classic songs "Do the Twist" and "Twist Again." At the end he could be standing there with a guitar play a little lick and then say some tagline. It would be easy and help provide a little extra for his family when he inevitably shuffled off this mortal coil. He was just about to respond to the offer when he cracked open a bottle of the mango acai flavored water. He took a sip and it wasn't as good as he would have hoped, but it was good enough to get his endorsement. He continued to write his response, taking sips every so often. He's an old timer and never really got he hang of computers so typing took him awhile. With each sip the drink tasted worse. Even though everything in the drink is organic, it tasted off. It almost was like a more flavorful cleaner. It doesn't really make any sense. It only slightly tasted like mango and it didn't really taste like agave. Maybe it's what the watered down acai was to blame. Chuck hesitated in his typing, took one more sip and decided they shouldn't have added a sweetener at all. If it were just water with mango and acai nectar mixed in it would have been more palatable. He closed his browser and turned off the computer. The beverage was sub par and he was the legendary Chuck Berry. Why should he give them a courtesy response?

If we learned one thing here it's that Check Berry can be kind of a jerk about returning emails. A simple "No Thank You" would have been fine and courteous. Looks like the fame has gone to his head.

Glug glug glug glug glug glug breath....ugh. Glug glug glug glug glug glug breath....ugh. Glug glug glug glug glug glug breath....ugh. When you drink this, it's good, but then you breathe, you know, out of necessity, and you get a taste of the spicy Splenda. I don't like acai, but you can taste blueberry, maybe pomegranate, but it's not disgustingly bitter like acai likes to make drinks.

Attention! People on diets! This isn't the worst Splenda drink. Sure, if you're used to drinking it, it's no leap since your taste buds are already annihilated due to years of abuse. If you are at a gas station, and you are on a diet, and they only carry egg nog or lard cola and this, get this, but bring me back some of that lard cola. I've got to review it.

Tostitos with lime came out without alert and they also sneak into multi-purpose punch bowls at parties. I know that some people put their hand in that bowl, grab a chip, and hope to God that they aren't the "hint of lime" ones but you know what? Lime is Mexican. Salsa is Mexican. Guacamole might be and probably is Mexican. Tortilla chips are Mexican. Yeah, it seems like they have everything that matters in this life, but we, America, have Ocean Spray. America and Mexico are like brothers; America has the top bunk and Mexico has the bottom bunk. Together, these brothers high-fived and Ocean Spray with lime was born. It's strong cranberry and strong lime. You want it to be less lime, but you didn't make it, Ocean Spray did and they tell you what time it is.

It's tough to drink more than a glass, but that one glass is good. It's different than most things you've drunk and it's so simple.

An aptly named beverage. I feel like I've had this tea before. In fact I'm sure of it. Oh wait no, it's just because it tastes like Lipton Brisk. It has that sort of tea flavor that is not actually from brewed tea and is sweetened with HFCS. I don't hate it. I definitely prefer brewed teas, but I wouldn't turn this down if it were offered to me. Sometimes generic tasting stuff has its place.

Oh a side note I once read that deja vu is caused when your brain misfires and stores a new memory in the area of your brain that past memories are normally stored. I found that very interesting as it happens to me all the darn time.

As your father and coach, I am telling you that you have to keep hydrated, son. It's no laughing matter when you pass out and miss a pop fly because you didn't drink enough liquids. It's so simple to drink water, but now that it's come this far, you have to drink something else. A re-hydrator. You kids like fruit punch, right? Well here is a fruit punch that's made for brat kids like you who don't know enough to drink when you're supposed to.

Thanks dad, I mean coach, I mean daddy, I mean...why is this clear? Fruit punch is supposed to be red. You don't know? I know you didn't make it, daddy, but it just seems strange. Alright, fine. I'll drink it. It's pretty goo....ugh! What is this? It's not fruit punch! Don't lie to me. Did you do something to this? Are you trying to poison me? Did you marinade band-aids in here or something? It's kind of thick and although has a fruit punch taste, it isn't really sweet and has a bit of a thickness to it. It's not like water. It's almost syrupy. Daddy, why are you doing this to me?

Son, don't be a little girl. Just drink this and the other eleven that came in the case. I don't want my son, the son of the coach of this little league team, to pass out. Dehydration will humiliate me more that it could you. Drink up and meet me in the locker room. Stop crying!

With a label like this one would think that this soda would be incredible. It looks so classic and classy. One would be slightly wrong. It's not incredible. It's merely average.
It tastes like an everyday store brand ginger ale, but with a nice aftertaste burn. The thing is that I don't believe the burn is actually from ginger, as it's not listed on the ingredients. I believe it's actually the sodium benzoate that causes that reaction. It feels different than a ginger burn, and it's not as strong. If I had never had a ginger beer before I would probably be pretty stoked on this, but since I've had a lot of the good stuff this just doesn't cut it.

Let's take a moment and get serious here. What could be so important that I would interrupt the normal flow of Thirsty Dudes? The answer is that absolute incredible force of nature that the movie Purple Rain is. Prince is a great musician. He's one of the greatest guitarists of our time, and unlike most people with that skill, he knows how to show off on the guitar as well as write some of the best pop songs that have ever graced the ears of humans. Sure he may be completely insane, but I can forgive him that for the album upon album of hits he has supplied us.

The folks at Sambazon understand this. They love purple rain. They even have gone so far as to pull the Lake Minnetonka prank a couple of times. Classic. The thing is that they not only love prince, they also have a soft spot for his adversaries in the film; The Time. Did you know that Prince wrote all of the time songs? True fact. His personal career was moving in a different direction, but he still wanted to write fun party songs, so he got The Time to play and record them. Among those songs was their hit "Jungle Love". To honor The Time, and Prince by proxy, they created an energy drink to keep you up all night in the clubs on Minneapolis, like the historic First Ave that is featured in the film (I played in the small room once and I kind of freaked out that Prince owned the building). The most important thing about Morris Day and The Time is that they have passion for not only their music, but also their sweet dance moves and awesome suits. Sambazon took that into consideration and created an energy drink that has both their classic acai and passionfruit juice in it. I like it more than their original variety. It has a fruitier taste, and it's all harsh acai juice. Also, how can I not support something as awesome as The Time?

Baron Von Ginseng rides again! He has yet again narrowly escaped the Allied Forces to spread his dirt flavored health benefits another day. The Allies had him cornered in a soda complex somewhere in the south of Poland. They thought there was no escape for him, but when they searched the grounds he was nowhere to be found. The only vehicle that left was a truck full of cola. They searched the truck and decided that the Baron was not on board so they let it make its delivery. With him not being on the grounds anymore it is believed that he must have fused himself with the cola. A true trickster indeed. The Forces would like to make a statement to warn civilians that Baron Von Ginseng is heavily armed and should be considered dangerous. One would believe that you would notice him in your cola on first sip. One might ask "How would I not notice the flavor of a potted plant in my refreshing soda?" The truth is that he is a master of disguise and our top scientists believe that the cola may neutralize his naturally disgusting taste. It would still taste slightly earthy, but the cola flavor would reign supreme (to the chagrin of the Baron). Be aware that what you may be ingesting is a refreshing naturally earthy flavored cola that has the benefits of ginseng. It's a strange world out there and you should always be on the lookout.

What happens when a boy from the South meets a girl from south of the South; Jamaica? Hilarity ensues. Watch as this crazy couple fights their way to love in this fantastic summer comedy. See Dax Shepherd in his best role since the 2006's smash hit, Idiocracy as a twenty-year-old Southern man on spring break meets Janet (played by both Tia and Tamara Mowry) on a trip to Jamaica. Dax Shepherd has a culture shock when he sees what Janet drinks, spiced pineapple juice. When Irwin (Shepherd) makes Janet try the South's iconic drink, sweet tea, the two fight it out for days, making everyone on the island try both drinks to decide which is better.

This romantic comedy turns sad when they can't decide and part ways with only one day left in Irwin's vacation. My favorite scene is where they are running around a fishing village like two chickens with their heads cut off and bump into each other, spilling their drinks into an empty DG Ting bottle. A man (Mos Def, uncredited) comes by, and says, "Hey mon, I thought that I drank this Ting ting." and proceeds to drink this mixture that the couple accidentally made. He said that he loved it because it was like the taste of the Caribbean mixed with the best American drink he had ever had, sweet tea. He then arbitrarily gave the drink a four, as if he were rating it, and then dove in the water and caught a fish with his bare hands.

All in all, I give this movie two thumbs up. The dynamic between the two protagonists really tugs at the heartstrings, regardless of how light this movie appears. Frankie Muniz did a wonderful job writing the screenplay for this film. Catch "Bag Juice" this holiday season in most theaters nationwide.

Fizz Ed, the oddly punctuated and spaced, past tense of the verb "fizz" or "to fizz" is the title of this drink. "Dude, I was so fizzed last night after I drank all that pop." for example.

I have known many people to have gotten "fizzed" at parties. I'm pretty sure Derek drank like eighty ounces of pop one night. That, to me, makes we want to research a respectful and affordable dentist, and get my teeth checked out as I haven't had a dentist for about five years, and before that, it was my pediatric dentist. I'm pathetic, I know, but hey, he's got all my records and knows my teeth. I am quite sure that he would jump out the window of his dental practice, which wouldn't do much as it's on the ground floor, if he found out that I did this website and drank so much junk all of the days.

This would be a great drink if you were sick because it's fruity and doesn't taste too different from cough syrup. It's doesn't have a bad taste, but it does have a bit of a syrupy, thick texture to it. Drinks shouldn't have a texture unless it's blatant, like a chia seed drink, or an aloe, or anything with Nata De Coco, or something along those lines.

I wonder what my dentist is up to and if I am still the oldest person that goes there. I know it's wrong that a twenty nine year old man-boy is going to a child's dentist. Sure, I don't care as much about the balloon animals and don't care at all about the stickers and my mouth has grown beyond the kid's toothbrushes, too. I know it's got to be better than adult dentists, though. At least I can learn about cool things like pistachio trees in Highlights magazine in my dentist and I don't have to read magazines like "Time" or "People".

Marty wasn't like the other kids. He just could not get down with creamsicles. It just reminded him of when he was but a toddler and he tried to make an ice cream float with orange juice instead of soda. Just thinking about how the mixture curdled makes him want to vom all over the place. Ever since then he has stayed clear of those treats in ice cream and soda form.

The strange thing is that little Marty loves this Vio drink. You might say "but Marty that is the exact same thing as a creamsicle except the orange is switched out for lemon lime." You would be correct, but what you're forgetting is that Marty didn't dump cream into a cup filled with straight lemon and lime juice. When he drinks this, he just thinks about it being 7Up or Sprite that had ice cream added to it, and then it melted. No curdling involved. He's a happy camper. I'm a happy camper. You're a happy camper. Did I mention that we're at summer camp, sitting around a campfire sipping on these little treats? Well maybe I'm not a happy camper. While I love the way these taste, they do get to be a bit much to drink a whole 8oz bottle.

Ahh cascading ice. Nothing tastes better than a nice avalanche rushing over a citrus orchard. A nice, giant ice dam covering all of Florida and pulling forth all the natural juices from oranges and lemons sounds delicious. Mother nature doing her job. Moving millions of tons of ice downward, squeezing juices from fruits to make crisp, cool, fresh water.

If that were the case, awesome, but there is one more step to make this drink do what it's supposed to do and that's to be carbonated. I suppose, at some state, man has to come in, bottle it, and put it on shelves. Using the previous scenario, all would happen as described, then man would break off chunks of this citrus ice into clean wheelbarrows, take them to the carbonation factory where they carbonate whatever is poured into "the hole" and then it bottles it and it's off the consumers everywhere.

The result? An unsweetened Sprite. People, it is just seltzer water with orange and lemon. I guess it would be like an unsweetened Ski. Wait, does Ski have lime or lemon? Now I don't remember.