United States - 4098 Reviews
O.N.E. Active Cranberry Grapefruit
It's an important day. You need to be at the top of your game. You need a drink that will not only refresh you but also boost your focus, energy and stamina. There is going to be a lot of battling going on and there is a good chance things could get brutal. Lucky for you that O.N.E. has released an active line of their coconut water. It's fruity, sweet and tastes decent. You know you have a decent drink on your hand when you drink have a carton, and then you are shocked to discover that it is sweetened with stevia. Now that I know I can taste it, but I never would have guessed before I read it. Cranberry and grapefruit make a great team. Other companies should really pick them for their hypothetical touch football teams.
Now I know what you're thinking; how did the big day pan out? More importantly, what did the big day entail? Well I will tell you, the big day was going with my friend so that he could go to adopt a cat. Seems dumb right? Why would anyone need any of the skills I mentioned just to go to a car adoption center? The answer is that I have a problem with cats. I fall in love with every cat that I see and I want to bring them all home and live in a house with a million cats that will follow me around everywhere. Yes I am crazy, but I also understand the disgusting aspect of that. I don't want to smell like a million cats. We went in, hung out with a bunch of cats. I fell in love at every turn. Specifically a huge fat cat named Pauly took a firm grip of my heart. I was inches from adopting him. The lady even tried to give him to me for free. He is eight years old and has a deviated septum so he makes the worlds most hilarious noises. I stood strong though and remembered how needy my cat Manny is and how she would hate me if she had to compete for my attention more. I sadly left Pauly and about 40 other cats behind. My friend, he got an adorable little kitty with a mustache that is now named Natas (so very nearly called Patricia Aracat).
Thank you O.N.E. for helping me keep my head, and therefore keep my household down to two humans and two felines.
Now I know what you're thinking; how did the big day pan out? More importantly, what did the big day entail? Well I will tell you, the big day was going with my friend so that he could go to adopt a cat. Seems dumb right? Why would anyone need any of the skills I mentioned just to go to a car adoption center? The answer is that I have a problem with cats. I fall in love with every cat that I see and I want to bring them all home and live in a house with a million cats that will follow me around everywhere. Yes I am crazy, but I also understand the disgusting aspect of that. I don't want to smell like a million cats. We went in, hung out with a bunch of cats. I fell in love at every turn. Specifically a huge fat cat named Pauly took a firm grip of my heart. I was inches from adopting him. The lady even tried to give him to me for free. He is eight years old and has a deviated septum so he makes the worlds most hilarious noises. I stood strong though and remembered how needy my cat Manny is and how she would hate me if she had to compete for my attention more. I sadly left Pauly and about 40 other cats behind. My friend, he got an adorable little kitty with a mustache that is now named Natas (so very nearly called Patricia Aracat).
Thank you O.N.E. for helping me keep my head, and therefore keep my household down to two humans and two felines.
- Rating
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement and Coconut
- Company
- O.N.E. β Website β @onecoconut
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Leaf Extract
- Author
- Jason Draper on 1/2/12, 9:51 PM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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So Duh! Liquid Fire
This drink...was...hilarious. Short and sweet. When you have to prep yourself to drink something, or retrain yourself not to die, that's something special. Before I took a sip of this I nearly expired. I went in to smell it and the vapors and fizzies went in my nose and burned and tickled me so much that I coughed and sneezed for a solid minute. I went in for a sip and out of instinct, breathed in to, you know, get the drink in my mouth and those same pesky vapors and fizzies went inside of me, hilariously burning all the way down. Cough. Cough. Sneeze. Sneeze.
Taste? It tastes exactly like how you want it to taste like. Carbonated Fireball candies. It is a bit syrupy and between the viscosity and the constant punishment I took from drinking it, I couldn't finish the whole bottle, but I killed a good three quarters of it.
If you ever see this and like cinnamon candies, whether it be Fireballs, those Valentine's cinnamon hearts, cinnamon ice cream, Big Red gum, or anything else candy cinnamon flavored, get this. You will if you don't react to death, you will have a great pop on your hands. I'm serious, every sip went down as harsh as the last and you had to reprogram yourself to not breath in with your nose or mouth when you took a swig. Ugh, so much fun. Thank you, So Duh! I hope someone can find me a bottle of their Liquid Ice because I might actually be fine dying to one of these drinks.
Taste? It tastes exactly like how you want it to taste like. Carbonated Fireball candies. It is a bit syrupy and between the viscosity and the constant punishment I took from drinking it, I couldn't finish the whole bottle, but I killed a good three quarters of it.
If you ever see this and like cinnamon candies, whether it be Fireballs, those Valentine's cinnamon hearts, cinnamon ice cream, Big Red gum, or anything else candy cinnamon flavored, get this. You will if you don't react to death, you will have a great pop on your hands. I'm serious, every sip went down as harsh as the last and you had to reprogram yourself to not breath in with your nose or mouth when you took a swig. Ugh, so much fun. Thank you, So Duh! I hope someone can find me a bottle of their Liquid Ice because I might actually be fine dying to one of these drinks.
- Rating
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Company
- So Duh! β Website β @hermitagebrews
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Author
- Mike Literman on 1/2/12, 8:32 PM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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La Croix Sparkling Water Coconut
Hey seltzer heads! Yeah, you guys! I've got something for you. It's in the trunk of my car. Yeah, it is legal. Just because a man has a pallet filled with a random assortment of drinks in the back of his windowless van doesn't mean they fell off a truck or anything. Maybe a man just likes to spread the word about sparkling drinks once in a while. Who I am is not of any importance to you, ma'am. My license places? They fell off the van so don't worry about it.
Coconut? Yeah, I've got it. It's right here. Made by a company called La Croix. I guess they are some fancy French company or something. Michigan? Well, ma'am, sorry about shutting you up earlier. Yeah, I guess these guys here are from America. I thought we hated the French. Taste? Oh, now you all want free samples? One can. One can between the...twenty-one...twenty-two...twenty-three of you. Here. One can. No more. Good right? Coconut-y, right? Unsweetened, right? Yes? Right? How many pallets can I put you down for? One? I drove all the way out here from None Of Your Business-burg for one pallet? Fair enough. You've got me. That will be $674.99. Yeah, and ninety-nine cents. I've got to make ends meet too, lady.
Coconut? Yeah, I've got it. It's right here. Made by a company called La Croix. I guess they are some fancy French company or something. Michigan? Well, ma'am, sorry about shutting you up earlier. Yeah, I guess these guys here are from America. I thought we hated the French. Taste? Oh, now you all want free samples? One can. One can between the...twenty-one...twenty-two...twenty-three of you. Here. One can. No more. Good right? Coconut-y, right? Unsweetened, right? Yes? Right? How many pallets can I put you down for? One? I drove all the way out here from None Of Your Business-burg for one pallet? Fair enough. You've got me. That will be $674.99. Yeah, and ninety-nine cents. I've got to make ends meet too, lady.
- Rating
- Company
- La Croix β Website β @enjoylacroix
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Author
- Mike Literman on 1/2/12, 2:45 PM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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Numi Organic Pu-erh Jasmine Pu-erh Tea
Things that should be weird to read on a beverages bottle, but that get me excited include "Real Fruit & Flowers." Obviously everyone wants real fruit in their drinks. Is there a single person roaming this Earth that prefers artificial fruit flavoring to actual fruit? If there is I'd like to give them my condolences for having the worst taste buds ever. Real flowers? That is just weird, yet exciting. I have grown to love slightly floral drinks during my tenure here at Thirsty Dudes. Two years ago if I drank this I would probably think it was garbage, but my tastes have been refined and I do enjoy it. It is a bit too floral though. It may be the pu-erh tea though. I just discovered that it's a post fermentation tea. I'm not positive what that means, but I think that mixed with the flowers pushes this a bit too far into the "I just ate something off of a plant at the botanical gardens" region.
The tea is very lightly sweetened, and it has some passionfruit juice in it to give it a little extra flavor. It's there, but a bit hidden under the flowers. The more I get the stronger the flower taste becomes. Now that I'm at the bottom fifth it's kind of out of control and I'm not longer a fan. When I started this I would have given it four bottles. By the end I would give it two bottles. I'll just even it out and call it a solid three.
The tea is very lightly sweetened, and it has some passionfruit juice in it to give it a little extra flavor. It's there, but a bit hidden under the flowers. The more I get the stronger the flower taste becomes. Now that I'm at the bottom fifth it's kind of out of control and I'm not longer a fan. When I started this I would have given it four bottles. By the end I would give it two bottles. I'll just even it out and call it a solid three.
- Rating
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Sugar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 1/1/12, 8:26 PM
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Zeiglers Sparkling Cider
So it's finally 2012. According to the Mayans it's the beginning of the end. Their highly accurate calendar ends on December 21, 2012. I for one say so be it. The end of the world has to be more exciting than most anything else this world has to offer. Have you ever seen disaster movies? There's never a dull moment. I'm rooting for earthquakes and tidal waves. A new ice age would be terrible. Who wants to be cold, even in death? I'm not saying one way or another if it's true, or if I really care either way. The Thirsty Dudes way is the path of apathy. Funnyman John Hodgman claims to have seen a Mayan calendar and it's secret is that it is full of sexy Mayan firemen. I wonder if those same firemen will usher in the impending apocalypse.
At the beginning of the possible end the only thing to do is to celebrate. I did so by DJing a party at Buffalo's finest dive bar, Mohawk Place. While a majority of the clientele were numbing themselves with beer and liquor, I was filling my bladder with sweet, sweet sparkling apple cider. I half expected it to be gross as I purchased it at a markdown store for a single dollar. Sometimes wonderful things come at a minimum price. This was a quality apple cider that actually tasted like cider and not just apple juice. Naturally sweet. Naturally delicious. This is the kind of sparkling cider we should use to shower the firemen when the end is neigh.
At the beginning of the possible end the only thing to do is to celebrate. I did so by DJing a party at Buffalo's finest dive bar, Mohawk Place. While a majority of the clientele were numbing themselves with beer and liquor, I was filling my bladder with sweet, sweet sparkling apple cider. I half expected it to be gross as I purchased it at a markdown store for a single dollar. Sometimes wonderful things come at a minimum price. This was a quality apple cider that actually tasted like cider and not just apple juice. Naturally sweet. Naturally delicious. This is the kind of sparkling cider we should use to shower the firemen when the end is neigh.
- Rating
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Author
- Jason Draper on 1/1/12, 2:11 PM
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Hijinks Energy Mixer
Mark always thought that the life of a magician would be all glamour and no gutter. It had been his dream for as long as he could remember to wow crowds with his illusions. It was in his 47th year that his wife left him for the clown that had been the entertainment at their daughter's communion party. He had wondered if a clown would be appropriate for a day full of religion, but since he himself had no savior, he brushed it off. Turns out his wife had seen him at a coworker's son's birthday party and just wanted to rock the sheets with this white-faced wonder. After she left and he was alone, he knew it was time for a change. He left his medical practice and went to magic school. No not Hogwarts, that isn't even a real place. Don't you know the difference between fantasy and reality? He went to The Montana Institute of Magic and Illusion. He worked his butt off and graduated first in his class. He had nothing but positive thoughts about it all, that was until he was actually in the working world. There is very little glamour in being a magician these days. You worked long hours for unappreciative audiences, and the pay was next to nothing. Luckily he had a nice nest egg, so he decided to stick with it. It was after about six months of working 18 hour days that he was a broken man. His true love magic had worn him out to the point where he couldn't get through a show without downing a huge energy drink. Not only was this expensive, but he found that all of his special compartments in his props were getting filled up with cans for later on in the day. That is when he remembered his medical knowledge and he created Hijinks. It was essentially concentrated energy (namely taurine, caffeine, inositol, glucuronolactone, and l-carnitine). The only problem was that when he drank a little of it on its own it tasted absolutely horrible. It was like someone added a little bit of sweetener to weed killer. He then decided to package it in small bottles, and all he had to do was add it to whatever beverage was on hand. It became basically indistinguishable in whatever sweetened drink he added it to. When he had to resort to water, he could taste it slightly but it wasn't bad. He was elated. No longer did he have to worry about downing obscene amounts of sugar and chemicals. Well he still was ingesting the chemicals, but they somehow seemed safer.
He started giving it to other magicians and he became the belle of the magician's ball. Everyone knew his name and gave him thanks. He even made the cover of MAGIC Magazine for magician of the year. Sure his illusions were nothing special, but he had given the word of magic a way to make it through each and every day. That is why we are here today to unveil his statue in honor of the memory of Mark Jinks. As I'm sure you all know he sadly left this mortal coil when an illusion went horribly wrong and when he pretended to cut his assistant in half, he somehow cut himself in half. Always the one to see a trick through to its completion he continued sawing through the pain until his body was completely separated in two.
He started giving it to other magicians and he became the belle of the magician's ball. Everyone knew his name and gave him thanks. He even made the cover of MAGIC Magazine for magician of the year. Sure his illusions were nothing special, but he had given the word of magic a way to make it through each and every day. That is why we are here today to unveil his statue in honor of the memory of Mark Jinks. As I'm sure you all know he sadly left this mortal coil when an illusion went horribly wrong and when he pretended to cut his assistant in half, he somehow cut himself in half. Always the one to see a trick through to its completion he continued sawing through the pain until his body was completely separated in two.
- Rating
- Categories
- Energy Drink and Mix/Concentrate
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Author
- Jason Draper on 12/31/11, 5:37 PM
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Vitamin Enhanced Water Orange
Todd, daddy asked you to make him some Tang. I don't know how to make it. No, I don't know. Mom always makes it for me. I think it's two teaspoons of powder and eight ounces of water. That sounds right. That looks a little light but it's probably right. Go give it to daddy.
What did he say? He said it was good but tasted like it was watered down? Oh, Todd. Table spoons. Table spoons. Two table spoons not teaspoons. That's what we did wrong. We were close to correct. It's a good thing daddy didn't hit you. You know how important Tang is to him. Wait a second. This isn't Tang at all. It is something called Vitamin Enriched Water. It looks like it and smells like it but...yeah, it just tastes like watered down Tang. Todd, daddy was an astronaut. I think he knows a thing or two about Tang. I can't believe he couldn't taste the difference. I guess it's a good business model, though. Buy regular Tang, use half as much, charge as much as Tang, but have twice the supply so you make twice the money. What do I know about business models, though? I'm only nine.
What did he say? He said it was good but tasted like it was watered down? Oh, Todd. Table spoons. Table spoons. Two table spoons not teaspoons. That's what we did wrong. We were close to correct. It's a good thing daddy didn't hit you. You know how important Tang is to him. Wait a second. This isn't Tang at all. It is something called Vitamin Enriched Water. It looks like it and smells like it but...yeah, it just tastes like watered down Tang. Todd, daddy was an astronaut. I think he knows a thing or two about Tang. I can't believe he couldn't taste the difference. I guess it's a good business model, though. Buy regular Tang, use half as much, charge as much as Tang, but have twice the supply so you make twice the money. What do I know about business models, though? I'm only nine.
- Rating
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Company
- Vitamin Enhanced Water β Website
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Evaporated Cane Juice
- Author
- Mike Literman on 12/30/11, 11:19 PM
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Gazzu Energy Drink
Deep within the jungles of South America, there is a town called Gazzu. Not many people know about it because it's really hard to get to. One must row down a river for 2 days, and then hike through the rainforest forest for another day. Only then do you come to Gazzu, the town so small it's not on any map. The reason why it's not on any map is because once people go there they never leave.
No, it's not because they get killed. Why would you jump to that conclusion? It's because of the Gazzu energy spring. While most places in the world have water springs, the spring here gives you life and energy. Okay, so maybe it doesn't give you life per se, but it definitely fills you with energy. Unlike other springs, it's carbonated and sweet. It almost tastes like melted candy.
Now you may ask yourself, how do you know about this spring? Well I live here in Gazzu. This has been one long infomercial on the merits of moving here. Don't you feel more informed now?
No, it's not because they get killed. Why would you jump to that conclusion? It's because of the Gazzu energy spring. While most places in the world have water springs, the spring here gives you life and energy. Okay, so maybe it doesn't give you life per se, but it definitely fills you with energy. Unlike other springs, it's carbonated and sweet. It almost tastes like melted candy.
Now you may ask yourself, how do you know about this spring? Well I live here in Gazzu. This has been one long infomercial on the merits of moving here. Don't you feel more informed now?
- Rating
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Company
- Gazzu
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose and High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Author
- Derek Neuland on 12/29/11, 7:24 PM
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"Mr." Cola
Everyone has that relative that they sometimes wish would stop coming around. Unfortunately, Mr. Cola is that person in his family. You see, his last name used to be Pepper. He lived a glorious life as Mr. Pepper. This all came to an end when he failed out of medical school. He was promptly kicked out of the house, told to change his name, and to never return. He was never the same after that.
He could have been anything, become anyone. He thought long and hard about what his name was going to be and he decided on Cola. He never had the bite his Pepper relatives were known for so he went with the nice and simple name of Cola. He lived a happy life as Mr. Cola, but never got the fame and fortune that his old family did. He didn't care. He was a sweet and simple man. He liked being nothing special, just another person walking down the street.
He could have been anything, become anyone. He thought long and hard about what his name was going to be and he decided on Cola. He never had the bite his Pepper relatives were known for so he went with the nice and simple name of Cola. He lived a happy life as Mr. Cola, but never got the fame and fortune that his old family did. He didn't care. He was a sweet and simple man. He liked being nothing special, just another person walking down the street.
- Rating
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Author
- Derek Neuland on 12/29/11, 4:45 PM
- Buy It Galcoβs Pop Stop
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Cintron Lemon Lime Mojito
I don't know anything about anything. I always assumed that anything mojito was mint. I don't know the historical travels of the word, the Latin meaning. I just assumed that it was always mint and rum or gin or something. Vodka? I don't know anything. This might be a poor representation of a mojito in regards to it supposedly being mint and Cintron just forgetting the mint. I will tell you, though. Lemon and lime in a black tea make one fantastic Mènage à trois. I don't mean that in a sexual fashion because if there is ever a day where black tea, or just leaves, lemons, and lives are rocking the sheets, I hope to be either far from dead or below them to catch whatever comes out. Maybe that's how this was made. Maybe I have lost my mind this Christmas break since I just said that. What if I got some sort of brain damage for Christmas? Ugh, worse than socks and worse than underwear. This drink is no mint, all real lemon and lime mixed with a great sweetened tea. All natural. No grossness.
I'm going to cut this while I am at, what I hope, is my lowest point. Please...sitting underneath fruits and leaves having sex. Disgusting.
I'm going to cut this while I am at, what I hope, is my lowest point. Please...sitting underneath fruits and leaves having sex. Disgusting.
- Rating
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Company
- Cintron β Website β @cintronenergy
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Author
- Mike Literman on 12/29/11, 3:43 PM
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Dominion Root Beer
I'm slowly beginning to really enjoy sodas that have honey in them. The first one I ever had was Thomas Kemper and I didn't like it at first. Over time, it grew on me. This is another example of a decent root beer with honey in it. It has a nice classic root beer taste with not a whole lot of bite. But then the honey kicks in and it's a smooth and sweet aftertaste. I'd classify this as "good, but not great". Sorry Dominion, I love the label art though. The deer is very noble.
- Rating
- Company
- Dominion β Website β @DominionBrewing
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Author
- Derek Neuland on 12/28/11, 9:31 PM
- Buy It Galcoβs Pop Stop
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LifeAid GolferAid
I've been groundskeeper of Bushwood Country Club for quite a few years now. Sure before that I was jocking out in Tibet, but that was only briefly. I mean when the Dalai Lama promises you total consciousness, there's really nowhere else to learn there. So here I am at Bushwood and I have to be honest most of the clientele around here are low-grade amateurs. They swing. They hit. They get stuck in the sand trap. Day in and day out it's the same thing. I just sit back and smile politely. I'm no dummy they are the ones with the cash and I live off the tips.
Lately Ty Webb, the only decent golfer I've seen on these lynx in years has been talking up this Golfer Aid drink. He says it's the secret of his game. Who am I to argue? The man has the focus of a statue. You should hear the weird noses he makes on the green. Along with focus, Mr. Webb has been telling everyone that it improves your balance, flexibility, strength, stamina and endurance. Sounds to me like if you drink it you're going to turn into the Hulk or something, but I promised him I'd give it the old college try, and Carl Spackler is a man of his word.
Hmm. This stuff tastes odd in the best possible way. It has to be the agave, but it's sweet in a very specific way that I can really dig. It actually reminds me of that Brain Toniq I tried a few months back. That was also supposed to improve focus, so maybe this is pure focus that I taste. Is this what my deathbed is going to taste like? I sure hope so. I do feel a tad more clarified. Perhaps this would be the best time to go out again and try to kill that darn gopher. He's been plaguing me long enough. With this extra brainpower he should be a corpse and I bet I'll be able to get in a quick back nine before it gets too dark to see. Mr. Webb sure is a smart man. Funny too. I made it through this whole can and I already want another. It's nice. It really just tastes like agave and it's lightly carbonated. I didn't expect that. With a name with "aid" at the end I was expecting some sorts of sports drink, but this is the sophisticated man's sports drink. It's meant for the upper class, and that is what I am for the day. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
Lately Ty Webb, the only decent golfer I've seen on these lynx in years has been talking up this Golfer Aid drink. He says it's the secret of his game. Who am I to argue? The man has the focus of a statue. You should hear the weird noses he makes on the green. Along with focus, Mr. Webb has been telling everyone that it improves your balance, flexibility, strength, stamina and endurance. Sounds to me like if you drink it you're going to turn into the Hulk or something, but I promised him I'd give it the old college try, and Carl Spackler is a man of his word.
Hmm. This stuff tastes odd in the best possible way. It has to be the agave, but it's sweet in a very specific way that I can really dig. It actually reminds me of that Brain Toniq I tried a few months back. That was also supposed to improve focus, so maybe this is pure focus that I taste. Is this what my deathbed is going to taste like? I sure hope so. I do feel a tad more clarified. Perhaps this would be the best time to go out again and try to kill that darn gopher. He's been plaguing me long enough. With this extra brainpower he should be a corpse and I bet I'll be able to get in a quick back nine before it gets too dark to see. Mr. Webb sure is a smart man. Funny too. I made it through this whole can and I already want another. It's nice. It really just tastes like agave and it's lightly carbonated. I didn't expect that. With a name with "aid" at the end I was expecting some sorts of sports drink, but this is the sophisticated man's sports drink. It's meant for the upper class, and that is what I am for the day. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
- Rating
- Categories
- Sparkling and Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Blue Agave Nectar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 12/28/11, 8:46 PM
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Dr. Tima Honey Ginger Ale
Hey, buddy. Question. Did you find this ginger ale in a toilet? No? Well that's surprising. It smells halfway between a ginger beer and a toilet puck. If you had an unreliable car that broke down at a ginger ale plant and you had no choice but to use their bathroom, that's what has been bottled inside this drink.
No, I'm not ungrateful. I just wanted to let you know not to gift this to anyone else. I appreciate that this drink is sweetened with honey, but those bees joked on you, son, because this drink tastes like bees peed in it. You know what? Here's the $2. I just ripped your generosity apart and I am sorry. Your troubles have been paid for and now you don't have to feel bad. I understand that the thought was there, but I'm your friend and this drink blows.
No, I'm not ungrateful. I just wanted to let you know not to gift this to anyone else. I appreciate that this drink is sweetened with honey, but those bees joked on you, son, because this drink tastes like bees peed in it. You know what? Here's the $2. I just ripped your generosity apart and I am sorry. Your troubles have been paid for and now you don't have to feel bad. I understand that the thought was there, but I'm your friend and this drink blows.
- Rating
- Company
- Dr. Tima
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Honey
- Author
- Mike Literman on 12/28/11, 7:55 PM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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Honeydrop Deluxe Chamomile Tea
Zack is afraid of bees. He wasn't always. When he worked yardscaping, he used to stare bees right in their yellow and black faces as they repetitiously stung him here, there, and everywhere in between. One day he was mowing a lawn and bumped the lawnmower right into a tree. A beehive came down right on his head like in the cartoons and he ran around the yard blind and got stung over and over again. He had really upset the bees that time and he knew it.
From that day on, Zack had become allergic to bees. If he got stung, he would have to take medicine or it would be difficult for him to breathe. His once cocky immunity was now left behind in exchange for a constant fear of the buzzing little buggers.
When he was at a local store, he came across this drink. "Made from pure honey..." he muttered to himself as he placed the bottle in his cart. The added flavors of chamomile tea would most certainly calm him down about his tasty revenge on the bees. When he got home, he threw some ice in a glass, poured half the bottle in, and prepared for a very relaxing summer day. After "the event," Zack hadn't really spent a lot of summers outdoors because he was afraid anytime anything made a sound even close to a "buzz." This was truly going to be "the summer of Zack." One sip in, though, he realized that not all was as good as it used to be. This tea had a very strong chamomile taste and almost tasted waxy. Now anyone who has eaten real honeycomb knows that there is wax in it, so it's at least explainable, but perhaps not desirable in drink form. Between the natural honey and the chamomile, there was a bit of a zesty zip to it. Relaxing, yes, but it had a lot more body than he had anticipated.
Zack vowed never to do yard work without his official bee suit on again after that dreaded day, but this drink will bring him one step closer to getting an apology for the day the bees took away his ability to enjoy the sun.
From that day on, Zack had become allergic to bees. If he got stung, he would have to take medicine or it would be difficult for him to breathe. His once cocky immunity was now left behind in exchange for a constant fear of the buzzing little buggers.
When he was at a local store, he came across this drink. "Made from pure honey..." he muttered to himself as he placed the bottle in his cart. The added flavors of chamomile tea would most certainly calm him down about his tasty revenge on the bees. When he got home, he threw some ice in a glass, poured half the bottle in, and prepared for a very relaxing summer day. After "the event," Zack hadn't really spent a lot of summers outdoors because he was afraid anytime anything made a sound even close to a "buzz." This was truly going to be "the summer of Zack." One sip in, though, he realized that not all was as good as it used to be. This tea had a very strong chamomile taste and almost tasted waxy. Now anyone who has eaten real honeycomb knows that there is wax in it, so it's at least explainable, but perhaps not desirable in drink form. Between the natural honey and the chamomile, there was a bit of a zesty zip to it. Relaxing, yes, but it had a lot more body than he had anticipated.
Zack vowed never to do yard work without his official bee suit on again after that dreaded day, but this drink will bring him one step closer to getting an apology for the day the bees took away his ability to enjoy the sun.
- Rating
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Company
- Honeydrop β Website β @Honeydropbev
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Pure Honey
- Author
- Mike Literman on 12/26/11, 11:23 PM
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Waist Watcher Diet Orange
For the four months or so that this has been sitting in my cupboard I thought that it was a "Weight Watchers" product. They have their own diet product line, don't they? Even if they don't, I always thought they did, and this was a gift from a friend who I believe ganked it from their mom's house. Now that I'm drinking this and I see that it's not Weight Watchers, I'm a bit disappointed. I don't need diet pop in my life, especially something that looks like it could be a store brand. If I had to review every low rent diet soda in the world, I would probably quit Thirsty Dudes. I don't have the taste buds for it. If I decided to stick it out and reviewed all of the diet orange soda in the world, I bet 99% of them would taste exactly the same. This can does not fall in that magical 1%. Sure it's nicely carbonated and it smells very orangey, but the fake orange flavor plays second fiddle to the gross death taste of Splenda. I don't know how people drink this stuff. I seriously believe that in 50 years they will find out that Splenda and other artificial sweeteners are way worse for you than actual sugar.
Dear Drain, Meet Diet Soda. I hope the two of you have a happy life together.
Dear Drain, Meet Diet Soda. I hope the two of you have a happy life together.
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- Company
- Waist Watcher β Website
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Author
- Jason Draper on 12/26/11, 10:48 PM
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Earth Balance Organic Soy Nog
Happy Boxing Day! No I'm not Canadian, but sometimes I feel like we (Buffalo residents) should be granted dual citizenship due to our close proximity. We get Canadian TV and radio, most businesses accept Canadian coins, and we recognize Boxing Day (sort of). I'm sure my pleas are falling upon deaf ears, but at least I have this soy nog.
When I told people I found soynog made by Earth Balance, most people were disgusted. I'm guessing they pictured a glass of eggnog with a stick of butter in it. I question people's logic sometimes, isn't a company allowed to make other products that are not derivatives of what they're most famous for? I love Earth Balance margarine and think it's the best tasting stuff out there. Even when I wasn't vegan I thought so. I didn't think this was going to have a buttery taste, but I had a feeling that it was going to be delicious.
And I was right! This is great soynog. It was the perfect beverage to drink yesterday at my grandma's Christmas gathering. This is my favorite soy based nog I've had so far. While it's been over 5 years since I've had the real thing, this reminds me the most of what eggnog was like. Nice smooth and slightly thick consistency, with a great nutmeg taste. The only thing that makes me sad is knowing that in a month I won't be able to find it in stores again until next holiday season. Oh well, it will give me something to look forward to.
When I told people I found soynog made by Earth Balance, most people were disgusted. I'm guessing they pictured a glass of eggnog with a stick of butter in it. I question people's logic sometimes, isn't a company allowed to make other products that are not derivatives of what they're most famous for? I love Earth Balance margarine and think it's the best tasting stuff out there. Even when I wasn't vegan I thought so. I didn't think this was going to have a buttery taste, but I had a feeling that it was going to be delicious.
And I was right! This is great soynog. It was the perfect beverage to drink yesterday at my grandma's Christmas gathering. This is my favorite soy based nog I've had so far. While it's been over 5 years since I've had the real thing, this reminds me the most of what eggnog was like. Nice smooth and slightly thick consistency, with a great nutmeg taste. The only thing that makes me sad is knowing that in a month I won't be able to find it in stores again until next holiday season. Oh well, it will give me something to look forward to.
- Rating
- Categories
- Soy
- Company
- Earth Balance β Website β @Earth_Balance
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Author
- Derek Neuland on 12/26/11, 4:10 PM
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Polar Seltzer Cranberry Lime
I'm here, at work, post Christmas, all alone. I'm surrounded by the soothing sounds of The Best Show Christmas Extravaganza. I am eating chocolate Teddy Grahams, because I am apparently eight. To inverse the ageism of that, I am drinking cough medicine disguised as cranberry lime seltzer water. It does not taste like cranberry or lime and somehow even has a Vicks tang to it. I don't know how it was done as they added water and natural flavors.
I do not have a cough nor do I want one. I do want to know how products like this make it past testing. I know what a cranberry tastes like and this isn't it. I even will go as far as saying that I know what cranberry lime tastes like together and this isn't it. I will say there is lime in there. I have concentrated and discovered lime much like Christopher Columbus laid claim to the pre-discovered land that is America.
I wish I hadn't eaten all of those Teddy Grahams. The eight year old in me wins again.
I do not have a cough nor do I want one. I do want to know how products like this make it past testing. I know what a cranberry tastes like and this isn't it. I even will go as far as saying that I know what cranberry lime tastes like together and this isn't it. I will say there is lime in there. I have concentrated and discovered lime much like Christopher Columbus laid claim to the pre-discovered land that is America.
I wish I hadn't eaten all of those Teddy Grahams. The eight year old in me wins again.
- Rating
- Company
- Polar β Website β @polarbeverages
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Author
- Mike Literman on 12/26/11, 11:58 AM
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Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float
In order to cut my chocolate intake a bit, I decided on a root beer float. I undoubtedly made the right decision. This pop was spectacular. I don't know where the "float" came from, but the root beer was pretty great. If I had to stretch it, I might saw that the root beer was smoother than normal. If they called it "root beer" I would have been satisfied. "Float" doesn't take away from the drink, it just builds up some expectations. The root beer was that good that I don't care if they called it "crap soup". Go ahead. I dare you. Put out a root beer called "crap soup" and dare me not to drink it.
- Rating
- Categories
- Root Beer
- Company
- Rocket Fizz β Website β @RocketFizz
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Author
- Mike Literman on 12/24/11, 9:44 PM
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Odwalla C Monster Strawberry C
I always think that Odwalla is on the bottom of the trio of Odwalla, Naked and Bolthouse juices. I call them the big three, because they are the three companies that are readily available pretty much anywhere in the USA. I think I must have always drunk their Super Protein line. I remember the smoothies always being a bit on the chalky side. With the C Monster drinks that is not a problem at all? Do you love orange juice? Do you also have an affinity for strawberries? Then this is the drink for you. There are some grapes and a little apple in here as well, but you don't notice it. All this tastes like it a premium orange juice that has a handful of strawberries blended into it. I bought this because it was on sale for half off, but I think this may have changed my opinion of Odwalla and I'll be checking out their other flavors shortly.
- Rating
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Author
- Jason Draper on 12/24/11, 3:08 PM
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Lipton PureLeaf Lemon
Christmas time is upon us. I'm Jewish so you think that I wouldn't care, but I'm a horrible Jew. I don't hate Christmas or ham. I don't like shellfish so that's one in the "Good Jew" column, but I have tattoos and had piercings so that essentially knocks me out of any running to be "Jew of the year." For Christmas, you would typically have snow but not here. Global warming, if it exists, is in full effect. We are two days shy of the big day and there isn't one flake of snow on the ground and I am actually still wearing only a hoodie. I could be prepared if need be, but I simply don't have to worry about it.
It's hardly summer, but it's always a good time for a simple iced tea. That's where this Lipton PureLeaf line comes in. I have thoroughly enjoyed the entirety of this line and this lemon is, I'm assuming, where it all began. It's good. It tastes natural, is natural, and earns the name and the glass bottle it comes in. My boss bought me a titanium straw and I have been using it all day. In preparation for some sort of apocalypse when all plastic is destroyed I've got both a glass and titanium straw within arms reach. Zombies may be able to kill me if I don't get my hands on a machete and a boat, but when they do, I'll have gone out quenched.
Zombies, the elusive "Jew Card", Christmas, review...solid review, Mike. Solid review.
It's hardly summer, but it's always a good time for a simple iced tea. That's where this Lipton PureLeaf line comes in. I have thoroughly enjoyed the entirety of this line and this lemon is, I'm assuming, where it all began. It's good. It tastes natural, is natural, and earns the name and the glass bottle it comes in. My boss bought me a titanium straw and I have been using it all day. In preparation for some sort of apocalypse when all plastic is destroyed I've got both a glass and titanium straw within arms reach. Zombies may be able to kill me if I don't get my hands on a machete and a boat, but when they do, I'll have gone out quenched.
Zombies, the elusive "Jew Card", Christmas, review...solid review, Mike. Solid review.
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- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Author
- Mike Literman on 12/23/11, 3:47 PM
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