United States - 4098 Reviews

Cider season is here and it's great. I'm a weird person because I don't eat apples and I don't like apple juice, but I LOVE apple cider. I'm currently visiting some friends in Bloomington, Indiana and came across this at a local co-op. I like normal cider, but any cider with ginger in it is my favorite.

This is my first cider of the year and it was a good way to kick it off. It's naturally sweetened which is perfect because sometimes cider has way too much sugar in it. I don't think the ginger is strong enough, but I love ginger. For me, a good ginger drink is one that is painful to consume and hurts your stomach for a while. This would be a good ginger cider for someone who likes the taste of ginger but thinks most ginger is too intense. Mild is the word I was looking for. It has a very mild ginger taste.

What can I get you sir? A Dr. Pepper? Wise choice. Let me just go over here to the fountain, press this medium, responsible sized cup to the lever and...hmm. That's odd. Let's do it again because anyone who has worked a fountain drink machine knows that the drinks are lighter coming out of the spout than they are in the cups that we drink them out of. Round two, here we go. Nope, clear. Sir? Pardon me, sir? How are you feeling today? Daring? You are?! Sir, I like you. Let's do something here. What have I got? I've got this soda water. Check. I've got limes. Limes are good, right? You're not allergic to limes, are you, sir? Good. The only other thing I have is this spearmint gum. I'll put it in this separate plastic cup of water, mush it up, and pour it into your drink. Deal? Wicked. Let's do this right now.

What do you think? It's cold, right? You can't taste the lime? Eh, can't win 'em all. You can taste the mint, though? Yes. Good. It's a bit bitter because it's just soda water and there is no sugar or anything because, as we discussed, there is almost nothing behind this counter. On a scale from one to five, what would you give it? A three. You've got it sir. Also, because you're so adventurous, that drink is on the house.

Wilson Farms is the local convenience store chain in the Buffalo area. They are so prevalent that it sometimes seems like they are on every corner. Like most corner stores, they have lots of things you could get at a grocery store but they charge more for the "convenience". The only exception to this is that they have their own line of soda.

At 99 cents a 2-liter, it's a much better deal than Coke or Pepsi. But like most things, you get what you pay for. It's a really bland diet cola with more of a aspartame taste than others. Some people might think it tastes "close enough" to Diet Coke, but I'll pass on this in favor of the top shelf stuff from now on.

When you're a kid and it's Easter time jellybeans take a backseat only to Peeps (yes I am one of those strange people that prefers stale Peeps). As you get older jellybeans lose their allure. In fact they become just a step above gross. Then you discover a little company called Jelly Belly and your interest in jellybeans is renewed. Best of all they are available all year and they are "gourmet."

When I first saw Jelly Belly sodas I thought to myself "Self that sure sounds gross, over sugary candy pop is not something we are fans of." I got some for the site though for the sake of the website. When I finally got around to drinking it I discovered that they can do the same for sugary fake fruit sodas as they did for sugary fake fruit candy. Is it sweet? You bet your butt it is, but more importantly it tastes like strawberries. This actually tastes just like a real sweet strawberry jam. I certainly can't complain about a pop that delivers exactly what it promises, and neither should you.

Someday Midge will see how much I love her and she'll come runnin' to old Moe. Sure I own a crap hole of a bar and I more than occasionally delve into some less than legal monetary pursuits (what was I thinking keeping a whale in the back of the bar?) but I've sure as hell put the time into winning her over. It's exhausting really. For the past 22 seasons I've been following her and Homer all around this god-forsaken planet just to be close to her. Oh Midge if you only knew the time and effort I put in each week following and watching you for all these years. Sneaking into the luggage compartments on planes, hiding in the flora of the restaurants they eat in, and a whole lot of creeping around watching through windows.

In the early days in order to keep up steam I had to rely on some classic meth that I would get from Cletus, but after what it did to my skin, and with my teeth falling out and whatnot I knew I needed to stop. Lucky for me Duff released an energy drink. I can tell you it's sure a hell of a lot better than that swill ale those low life drunks at my bar gulp down all day. It tastes like a classic energy drink with a nice citrus twist. Sure they use high fructose corn syrup, and I swore I was going to cut that down so I could get in shape for my love, but really what can you expect from such a low rent company as Duff. At least it keeps me up for my late night sessions of watching Midge sleep. That is when Homer's fat whale of a body isn't blocking my vision. Speaking of which it's about time for me to be climbing that old tree. Someday she will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.

Sometimes drinks speak to me. No, not in a crazy way. Sometimes I see a drink and I just have to have it. This, for some reason, I had to have. I grabbed it, threw it on my shelf only to completely forget about it for about two weeks. Today, while picking my drinks for the day, I came across it and thought, "Oh yeah. I really wanted this." so in the bag and to work it went.

On first sip, it was very Stevia-esque. On second sip, I could start tasting what was supposed to be happening. Are you a graphic designer? Sure you are. Everyone and their brother is a graphic designer. As soon as you touch MS Paint (or Mac equivalent) and design your first birthday card, you say to yourself, "This is all a graphic designer does? Well, looks like I am going to design my album art for my band The Death Of A Thousand Suns Birthday." This drink is a gradient if I've ever tasted one. It does start out very Stevia, but then it slowly fades into a passion fruit that is actually quite nice. The green tea doesn't really come out to play for me.

I'm interested to see what else Honest does in this "zero calorie" line. I like a range of their drinks and am always game to try new ones.

Hey Frankie, I thought I told you to pick me up an energy drink? This thing don't taste like no energy drink I ever had. It taste like a more juicy soda pop. You know with like fruit and junk in it. What do you mean does it have taurine in it? What am I some kind of ingredientologist? Fine I'll read the stupid can. Yeah it's got that "t" stuff in it. Sounds like something to do with a bull. Is that what gives Red Bull it's kick? Wait this isn't bull testicles is it? If it is and this is some kind of joke I'm going to box your ears. Okay, okay I believe you. This stuff still doesn't taste like an energy drink though. It tastes like a fancy orange juice with bubbles in it. Tangerines you say? Well ooolala Mr. Fancy Pants Frenchman. Now shut your mouth and help me rip up this carpet.

Nothing says fitness like chocolate fudge. You know that you like to work on your abs for about forty minutes and then head on down to the local chocolatier and ask for a pound of fudge to make everything go to its intended place. I read in a book once that if you do squats in the gym and then eat a quarter pound of rocky road fudge, it does more than eating one dozen chickens. Whole chickens. Feathers, feet, and all. Just a quarter pound of it. Scientists don't agree because they think that a couple hundred scientific tests prove otherwise.

Myoplex, a group of half scientists, half chocolate enthusiasts, half R.C. enthusiasts, have fix this age old question by making a protein drink that tastes like chocolate fudge. Sure, it's a little chalky and tastes diet, but it tastes like diet, chalky, chocolate fudge. You're on a diet. You're working out like crazy. All you've eaten the last few months have been bean sprouts and broccoli and now, for an unlimited time, you can finally re-taste the smooth, elegant taste of chocolate without any of the hassle of guilt.

If I am not mistaken this drink is all about me. Finally a drink for the egotistical and self centered geniuses of the world. I think it takes on a different flavor to suit whoever is drinking its taste buds. I have to say they had it dead on for me. Tangerine and pineapple are a way to my heart. They were on the road to perfection but then the creators got sidetracked and added erythritol as a third sweetener. Ugh. They have instantly turned my brain and me as a whole off. Had they left out that one tiny ingredient, that doesn't seem to play much of a role other than being gross, this would have been great. A buy and buy again beverage. As it stands it can sit dusty on the shelves.

On the turn of a dime, it has become fall. Autumn to some, fall to others. I've been wearing a hoodie for a couple days and although I missed their deep hood, welcoming pockets, and going outside, throwing up my hood immediately, and feeling like a robber or rapist. Try it. I would never rape or never rob, but I just feel like if someone saw me throw my hood up, they would think I am up to no good.

Fall means cider. Apples in any form, really. On my way to visit my parents, I stopped by Tim Hortons and I wanted a mint chocolate, iced cappuccino, but was convinced to try a hot caramel apple cider. I got it because seriously, how can you go wrong? Apple cider and caramel and the added delicacy of whipped cream on top. Sweet. Half an hour later, I open up the cup and prepare my senses to enjoy pleasure to a parental advisory level. Then... Disappointment. To the fullest extent. It tasted like I was drinking a liquid candle. I am not exaggerating. If you went to Yankee Candle or equivalent, bought an apple cider candle, went out into the food court, lit it with a borrowed lighter because you just quit smoking, and drank the wax, you, my friend, have just drank a Tim Hortons hot apple cider with caramel.

I have easily half left and cannot stomach another sip.

I have to drink more water. It's a fact. You might need to, also. I'm looking out for your health. It's good for you. Drink more water.

Now that me educating you on the basics are done and out of the way, we can get to the nitty gritty. Side fact: if all water tasted like sweet tea, had no calories, and was as plentiful as water, there would be no war, no crime, no funny business. Everyone would just be high-fiving everyone, kissing everyone on the cheek like some fancy European country.

This Mio isn't half bad. I drank a large and a half glass last night and was pleasantly surprised. It was slightly diet, but it's a diet drink. I don't want that to dissuade you. It's not gross. It is closer than many sweet teas I've drank that aren't diet, aren't concentrate, and come highly recommend.

Think of it as a diet sweet tea. It's a getting a thumbs up from me.

People just don't understand what a hard life us members of Slytherin have. Wake up. Pray to the snake. Eat breakfast. Pray to the snake. Mock a Weasely for being a ginger. Pray to the snake. Go to class. Pray to the snake. Make fun of a Weasely for being poor. Pray to the snake. Study for potions. Pray to the snake. Plot against Harry Potter. Pray to the snake. Do the dark lords bidding. Pray to the snake.

That damn snake gets more praise than Odin ever did in his prime. On top of that we have to deal with all of the filthy mudbloods that started letting into the school. Ugh. Those disgusting creatures have no business learning magic. When will He Who Will Not Be Named come back and go all fourth reich on their unworthy keisters?

This is the only time of day that I get to relax. The snake has been appeased and I can sneak off to Hogsmeade and pop into The Three Broomsticks and get myself a nice cold one, loosen my robes and just spend some time on myself. They don't let the underclassman in here so it's nice and quiet. Also because they can't come here they all think that the sought after Butter Beer is alcoholic. They sure took a turn into Wrongville. There's nothing alcoholic about it. It's just a nice tasty cream soda that has been flavored with butterscotch. The combination hits you in some nice waves. First it's all nice and vanilla creamy. Then you swallow and the butterscotch tastes over as a nice mild aftertaste. To tell the truth before I tried one of these I was against butterscotch. It seemed unnatural as a flavor. Something mudbloods would eat as dessert. You still won't find me eating that trash, but I will enjoy one of these sodas whenever I get a chance. Oh great it's almost time to praise the snake again. I should get back to our common room.

This is quasi-gross. That's enough to punish this drink in my eyes for eternity, but I really did want to like it. I picked it up on a whim, thought to myself, "I'd like to encounter a berry breeze. This will do it for me. Great. Cash me out." It's a giant bottle and I wanted to slay the whole thing. First sip and there it was. That diet burn. What is that? I hate it. I will say there are omega-3's in here. Great. People are only going to drink it if it tastes good. If you and your dumb throat and dumber taste buds have accepted that this is the way that a standard diet drink should taste, you, my dumb friend, have a new favorite drink.

If I could get past the stingin' and the burnin', I would say that the taste is alright. Taste gets a three out of five. It smells a little odd, like an apple but like an uncut or unchomped apple. I found that weird but it's good that they could somehow disguise the fish oil scent, which is rank, not to be confused by the Smiths live album by the same name. Morrissey, if you're listening, don't waste your time with this drink.

Hey Jay, I just got a postcard in the mail. Let me read it to you. It's from the Dorothy Molter. Dorothy Molter? She's a lady who made root beer and sold it to people on canoes but she's from Chicago and I think she actually has ties to the mob. Listen to this letter.

Alright, I still don't see our review. I do have "people" around the nation. Remember, Dorothy was from Chicago and still has "connections". Technically you don't need all your fingers to drink a root beer but why risk it?

Is she serious? Is this a hit? No, hits are murder. This is more like I owe them money for not paying up on a 1995 Buffalo Bills game that I somehow skipped out on paying for the sixteen years. Still, I don't want to mess with the mob. I've seen the Godfather and I don't want to get to perforated by multiple gunmen. Did I drink the root beer? Yes, I did. I thought it was good. I think that she would have used cane sugar, but you can't really taste that it isn't. It's dark but not that licorice-filled darkness that many small brews are. It's well sweetened and well flavored. All around, a good root beer.

I can't believe that she threatened us. Also, now that I think about it, I can't believe that she did it on a postcard. Also, this postcard has a corgi licking a kitten and that's not threatening at all. Maybe she meant to catch us off guard. Did someone just knock at the door? Do you think it's her? I hope not. I like my hands and I enjoy the presence of all my fingers. Who makes root beer and is in the mob? It just doesn't add up. She must have a secret life where she's like a root beer soaked Mother Theresa and then another one where she drives an old gangster style Ford, wears pinstriped all the time, always has a cigar in her mouth, and says "see" all the time. "I'm the root beer lady, see." Like that. It could happen. Stranger things have happened. Don't get the door. She can leave another note if it's Dorothy. I need my hands for playing Trials Evolution when it comes out.

It's a little known fact, but this beverage actually inspired the Ted Nugent song "Wango Tango." You may say, "but Thirsty Dudes the timeline is way off. "Wango Tango" was released in 1980, Robs is a fairly new company." That may be true my friends, but the mango drink was actually created by Rob's mother, it is the drink that made Rob want to create drinks of his own. His mother also had a tryst with Senior Nugent back in the late 70's. Theodore was obsessed with this sweet treat of hers and she made a jug of it for him every time he went out bow hunting. Momma Rob was also very concerned with being "green" and the environment, so she would only eat meat that Teddy hunted. She's the one who always said, "You gotta kill 'em to grill 'em." She taught the Nug oh so much about life.

After she broke off the brief relationship Ted tried to win her back by writing "Mango Tango" for her (the producer made him change the name due to the unpopularity of the fruit in the late 70's). Her response was that he could have her again, but only if the song about her and her nicely thinned out mango juice (it really was a precursor to the flavor/consistency of Vitamin Water) made it into the Billboard Top 10. Unfortunately it only got to number 86, and they were never to meet again. The only question there is left to answer is "Could Ted Nugent actually be Rob's biological father?" Come back never round of flavors to find out!

When the colonials invaded the United States, the Indians, although polite, were leery on "the white man". White men came in, sat down next to each and every Indian, and co-ate a delicious meal with multicolored corn. All was good. They did a little bit of trading. Oh, you've got beaver pelts? We've got these sweet hats. You've got teepees? We've got homes made of brick and mortar. "Let's eat", the Indians say to the Colonials. "Oh, wait. We've got something for you in the boat. Hold on a second." The colonial dudes go into the boat and pull out a case and put it on the table. "What's this?" said the Indian Chief. "Oh, this ol' thing? It's just a case of our favorite pop, Old Colony. If you look, you'll notice that Carl's face is the silhouette on the can. Here, we brought a can for everyone. We're swimming in the stuff so you can have this whole case."

The Indians take a sip and the chief looks and the Colonial man disappointingly. "You call this grape?" He drops the half full can of pop on the grass, allowing it to spill onto the ground. The Admiral Colonial dude was flabbergasted. "Why would you do that? That's not a great first impression, I've got to say." The Indian, very heatedly said, "This is a mediocre grape pop. You think because we're Indians we've never had grape pop? What do you take us for? This is very sweet and although I can tell that it's inspired from concord grapes, it tastes like candy and we don't really do candy here."

Then the Admiral declared war because he's a baby and doesn't like when people insult his favorite pop.

In the middle ages, times were tough. You had to raise your own fruits and vegetables, people got sick and died from things like a cough, and there weren't any Burger Kings. Not to mention, periodically, you had to be ready and the drop of a hat for a dragon invading your tiny town. On the plus side, you got to use your sword and were encouraged to at any given time. Throw it. Cut up fruit for dinner. Who cares? Every use is one step closer to being able to kill orcs and wild boars. For protein and energy, you have to eat mutton and probably nuts. I doubt that the meats are carefully marinated and are probably pretty bland. That's no good for anyone.

I would like to be the time traveler that brings a case of Bolthouse Farms to these people. I would be treated with so much respect. I am not going to go as far as being knighted, well maybe, but I would at least get a nice jacket or something. Perhaps I can have the local cobbler make me a nice pair of wingtips. That would be real nice of him. I would say to him, "Dear cobbler. I'm going to call you by your name, Mitch, because "cobbler" is your job and that's a jerk move. Mitch, I bequeath to you a case of Hazelnut Latte Bolthouse Farms drink. It tastes like a melted Arby's jamoca shake and is delicious. You don't know who Arby's is? It's a fast food restaurant that specialized in roast beef sandwiches. Roast beef, not roast beast. I don't know. It could be the same thing. Either way, this is delicious and will give you the botulism free energy you need to both make shoes and boots and shoot arrows at rabid animals. It is yours. Enjoy. Yes, they do make other flavors. What, is this not good enough for you? I come one thousand years back in time and you want variety? Mitch. Come on, dude."

Mitch is a good guy, he just doesn't have the manners one would expect from an adult man. He would take the drink, eventually love it, and be chocked full of energy. I wish him the best of luck with his footwear company and am anxiously awaiting my shoes. I told him to bury them in the ground at a specific location in a nice box so that I can dig them up. They'd better fit.

Oh I'm so sweaty from getting my swell on. Four hours of just heavy, free weights does wonders to my deltoids. I don't ride the bikes because that's for girls. I don't use stair climbers because that's for old men. I use free weights and that machine that shakes you together to get the maximum amount of swell to my increasingly bulging biceps.

After two hours, I run out of steam and I need some pump up so that I can pump up. At the smoothie bar, they sell these packets called Phix that the gentleman behind the counter mixes it in a cup with a fancy, long spoon. Slammed. I slammed it, like I do those weights. Slammed. Like Onyx. It went down smooth. It wasn't too strong either. It was a light drink, like a watered down juice. It didn't really taste like an energy drink. It just tasted good with a light fruit taste. I'm used to slamming down energy drinks and protein drinks that are either too sweet, or too thick, or too gross. This is the perfect drink for me to pump iron long into the night, as I do frequently. I have a goal to look like I did in my high school picture and now that I am a hundred pounds heavier. I have to work harder to get rid of those last, pesky fifty pounds. I've got to strive to slip into those Sasoon jeans and Yes T-Shirt like I had in my senior picture. I've got to get back to working on my hammies.

I've been drinking a lot of diet drinks lately. I'm not going to lie, all those empty calories have been going to my waistline lately. While I'm perfectly comfortable with my weight, it wouldn't hurt me to lose a few pounds. Why am I telling you all this? Well it's to say that since I've been drinking more drinks with fake sugar in them, I've gotten used to the taste, which used to repulse me. Sucralose and its friends no longer taste like chemicals to me. Is this a good thing? I don't know.

One aspect where it's a good thing is I am able to judge the taste of a diet drink a little better. I was expecting this to be pretty bland, but I was pleasantly surprised after the first sip. It tasted like a diet version of the original Go Fast Sports energy drink, but there was something else I couldn't put my finger on. I thought maybe they were using stevia as the sweetener, but that wasn't it.

Honey. That is the main sweetener in this. Totally took me by surprise! It works really well too. Now that I know there is honey in this, it makes sense and I can taste it. It's not strong, but it's really nice sweetness in the aftertaste.

It's been said that Goose Island is a part of Chicago, but I think that's just a ruse. I think they want people to believe this magical island is in the boring Midwest when in fact it resides just outside of Buffalo, NY in historic East Aurora. I know because I have seen it. It's chock full of geese and other waterfowl. It's also a perfect place to enjoy a pizza and some root beers with your ladyfriend at the end of a nice day trip.

It was really a no-brainer choosing what root beer to accompany our delicious pizza at such a location. Sure there are brews that I prefer over Goose Island but many of them are full bodied and heavy. Those are drinks for sipping around a fire, contemplating you day. This is a light and smooth soda. It's the kind of flavorful root beer that works well with food and nature. It reminds me of What IBC or Dogs N Suds root beer would taste like if they used cane sugar as a sweetener.

So while Virginia may be for lovers, Goose Island is for root beer and greasy pizza. Watch out because those birds may try to steal your pizza after awhile. Don't let them have it though because bread is bad for waterfowl and can cause their stomachs to explode, and no one wants to have to clean up that mess.