Bolthouse Farms Perfectly Protein Hazelnut Latte

Bolthouse Farms Perfectly Protein Hazelnut Latte
In the middle ages, times were tough. You had to raise your own fruits and vegetables, people got sick and died from things like a cough, and there weren't any Burger Kings. Not to mention, periodically, you had to be ready and the drop of a hat for a dragon invading your tiny town. On the plus side, you got to use your sword and were encouraged to at any given time. Throw it. Cut up fruit for dinner. Who cares? Every use is one step closer to being able to kill orcs and wild boars. For protein and energy, you have to eat mutton and probably nuts. I doubt that the meats are carefully marinated and are probably pretty bland. That's no good for anyone.

I would like to be the time traveler that brings a case of Bolthouse Farms to these people. I would be treated with so much respect. I am not going to go as far as being knighted, well maybe, but I would at least get a nice jacket or something. Perhaps I can have the local cobbler make me a nice pair of wingtips. That would be real nice of him. I would say to him, "Dear cobbler. I'm going to call you by your name, Mitch, because "cobbler" is your job and that's a jerk move. Mitch, I bequeath to you a case of Hazelnut Latte Bolthouse Farms drink. It tastes like a melted Arby's jamoca shake and is delicious. You don't know who Arby's is? It's a fast food restaurant that specialized in roast beef sandwiches. Roast beef, not roast beast. I don't know. It could be the same thing. Either way, this is delicious and will give you the botulism free energy you need to both make shoes and boots and shoot arrows at rabid animals. It is yours. Enjoy. Yes, they do make other flavors. What, is this not good enough for you? I come one thousand years back in time and you want variety? Mitch. Come on, dude."

Mitch is a good guy, he just doesn't have the manners one would expect from an adult man. He would take the drink, eventually love it, and be chocked full of energy. I wish him the best of luck with his footwear company and am anxiously awaiting my shoes. I told him to bury them in the ground at a specific location in a nice box so that I can dig them up. They'd better fit.
Bolthouse FarmsWebsite@BolthouseFarms
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Agave Nectar
Mike Literman on 9/28/11, 2:12 PM
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