Fructose - 54 Reviews

You know what I love? Discovering new Asian markets. It's a great feeling because that means that a new world is open for me to discover. I went in bright and early and bought everything they had that we hadn't done, including this rocket shaped aloe drink.

So as you can see, the first thing I noticed is the packaging, which is nothing short of awesome. Ergonomically designed and rocket shaped?! Sold, dude. Sold.

Taste-wise, it's just an aloe. It's white grape flavored aloe with giant chunks. The chunks are pretty good because every one you get and chew is like a flavor explosion in your mouth. If you were a glutton and had no self-restraint, you could have a grand finale by drinking the whole container and just going chew crazy.

I liked this drink and any fan of aloe should seek it out.

Isabelle! Isabelle! Come here! I made something that you have to like. I've been here in the basement for like seven hours mixing fruits and stuff into this one glass until I got it just right. Yeah, I rinsed it out in the basement sink. Yeah, Isabelle, the sink is dirty but the water that comes out is clean...I think. Irregardless, I made something. I mixed some blueberry juice and some limejuice that we had in the fridge that has never been used and made something. As soon as you drink this, you're going to say, "Colin, this is the best thing I've ever drank." Oh, and I also put some seltzer water in there to spice it up a little bit. I'm poured you a glass and it's over there on the washing machine. I think that it's the perfect mix and I don't think that I could do any better. Go take a sip.

Alright, you've taken a sip. What do you think? Oh, I hope that you like it. Wait...you...you don't like it? But...what's not to like. It's blueberries, which you love, and lime. What do you mean the mix is off? Isabelle, don't tell me my mix is off. My mix is perfect. Too much lime? Too sour? What?! Strange aftertaste? Is there something wrong with your mouth? You have been eating a lot of black jellybeans lately. Did you burn out your taste buds? This is perfect! I don't care what you say. Take another sip. Yes. Take another sip. Where are you going? Don't up upstairs. Turn the lights back on. It's dark down here. Don't leave me! Isabelle!

How is it that erythritol can be the last ingredient in a list of eleven, and it still is so present in the flavor of a drink? Why even bother adding it at that point? It seems like it's worthless as a sweetener, especially when fructose is the second ingredient. Perhaps they just added it for the flavor.

Other than the natural diet flavor this is pretty fruity. The dragonfruit is more prominent that the blackberry. It's would actually be a really decent tasting diet drink, but it's not really a diet drink so it's a regular drink that tastes diet. No one wants that.

Sometimes it's 90+ degrees out and you suddenly have the undying need to go out walk a creek and search for the worthy opponent General Sherman. For the record General Sherman is a catfish that lives in 18 Mile Creek out in the Derby/Hamburg area of New York. Rumor has it that his belly is filled with gold and the ultimate iced tea. Few people know of his existence and even fewer have lived to tell the tale of their battles with him. That is mainly because I think only three of us ever tried to catch him. I have had two encounters with he and all his glory through the years (last year). Editor Dan and I nearly had him once. He exited the water and we grabbed him, but his hide was just too slippery for us to keep a grasp.

So I returned, I saw the corpses of many catfish (three) but none of them were the General. He was nowhere to be found. Maybe he was laying in wait to build up his armies, or maybe he swam out into the lake. I doubt we'll ever know for sure. One thing that I do know is that I worked up one hell of a thirst on this adventure. I had hoped to quench it with the previously mentioned "ultimate tea" I was going to gather from the gullet of General Sherman, but since I failed I had to resort to POM tea.

To be fair it wasn't really a resorting to it, as POM makes some incredible tea. This flavor has the perfect blend of pomegranate and blackberries. I am a sucker for anything with blackberries in it, they are your money berry. Something strange happens in this tea. There is the great fruit and tea flavors, but there's something else. It almost tastes like mint. It has the same cool crispness, but without the actual mint flavor. I had never experienced this before this week, but this is the second drink I've had with this effect. I have to say I really enjoy it and it makes the drink that much more refreshing.

For all my talk about cowboys; how I think they are awesome and how it's a possibly calling in my life, I am not a fan of western movies. Sometimes they are okay, but in general I find them boring and hokey. A lot of adults in my life growing up were into them, so I've seen a decent amount and they just don't do anything for me. The same thing goes for kung-fu movies. I'd rather watch Fletch for the 900th time than watch John Wayne or Clint Eastwood.

There are cowboys on this bottle and I have to say I don't think they would drink this. It's really good, but I would never in a million years pick it out as sarsaparilla in a blind taste test. I would bet all the tea in China that it was a fancy cola. Even with my eyes open and knowing what it is supposed to be, I'd still say it was a cola. It has a hint of root beer/sarsaparilla to it, but it's mostly a brewed cola taste. I really enjoyed it, but it doesn't taste like what it's supposed to, so I feel like I should deduct a bottle. Maybe that is John Wayne on the bottle and he thinks he's too good for "cowboy swill" and he just wanted a nice cola. The directors told him that it wouldn't work right in the film so they put it in a sarsaparilla bottle so it would look authentic. Damn fake cowboys ruining everything for everyone.

About three years ago I bought a couch. It has a nice leather bottom with microfiber cushions and a chez. I piled tons of kids on that for dozens of tacos and pizzas and everything in between. Recently, my girlfriend had been noticing that the cushions have been a bit lackluster and have lost a lot of their shape, leaving you in this slouched over, sunken, and kind of uncomfortable position. We decided that it was time to replace the cushions. It was a pretty cost effective options since replacing all of the foam was 1/7th the price of the couch itself. I felt good about it until we got the foam in and I had to re-stuff the cushions by hand. It was a tedious and long endeavor. I tried my hardest to get everything in without ripping the covers and after about 45 minutes of wrestling foam, I was on my final push to get the chez foam in, I ripped the cover. You can't see it, although it's a large rip. I felt defeated and quite dehydrated so I knew I needed something quenching.

I went and grabbed this lemon lime drink, flash chilled it in the freezer for a few minutes and started slamming it. It's good. It smells like a Sprite or a 7-Up but with a fraction of the sugar taste. It's a pretty calm taste, which you wouldn't expect from the smell, but that's what made it so drinkable.


I've never seen this in stores but the ones that I've had so far have been pretty good. This is not like Vitamin Water which, to me, is what I would grab if I wanted a juice. This also is stronger than a Hint. This is kind on in a category all it's own. Either that or it's right where you would expect it to be based off of the range that I just gave you.

This is the flavor I was saving for last, but I decided to do it now. I don't like plums at all. But strangely, I don't mind this taste. It's been a long time since I've had a plum, so maybe it's time I try them again. Mary Liz likens this to kombucha that is less fermented. Seeing as I hate kombucha and have only drank a few sips of it in my life, I can't really back this statement up. Like the other vinegar drinks, it doesn't taste like vinegar much when going down.

To quote Mary Liz: "For something that's good for you, this is pretty good."

I enlisted my friend Mary Liz to help me review some drinks today. We didn't know what to expect with this one, but since it has barley malt and hops in it we had a feeling it would taste like beer.

The smell, in a word, gross. It's really strong and sort of has a molasses hint to it. The taste isn't any better. Mary Liz says it tastes like rotting fruit and vegetable juice. I honestly can't figure out what it reminds me of, but it's too gross to drink anymore. It almost tastes like molasses that has been sitting out for a year. Mary Liz asked if we could give this drink a zero, but unfortunately we can't.

I enlisted my friend Monet to help me drink a few of my more interesting drinks. I am about to move back to Buffalo, NY and need to get through my big backlog of reviews.

Upon first trying this, Monet thought it tasted like a melted pink Otterpop. About two minutes later, a heat wave of vinegar rose up from her stomach. She immediately took back her previous statement.

Since I had tried a couple flavors of this before, I knew what to expect. Maybe it was mean of me to not inform Monet of the 2 minute wait time of the vinegar kicking in, but I wasn't aware of it the first time I drank this so I opted to let her experience it for herself. This is alright. The peach is nice, but the vinegar still doesn't sit well.

While this pouch lacks a straw, it still reminds me of Capri-Sun. I never got them in my lunch box. I always had the cheaper Hi-C "juice" boxes in my lunch as a kid. Was I jealous of those who got Capri-Sun? Sometimes. If someone had put vinegar in Capri-Sun pouches, they wouldn't have been as popular.

These drinks are deceiving. On the first sip, you can't taste the vinegar at all. It's just normal pineapple juice. But then a few minutes later, your stomach is full of vinegar and it burns! I like vinegar, but not enough to drink it.

I have 3 more flavors of this to review. Not looking forward to them.

An energy drink exists that doesn't taste like battery acid? No way! That can't be. The second ingredient in this is apple juice, which is exactly what this taste like, apple juice energy drink. Doesn't sound that appealing does it? If I had gone into this drink knowing it I probably would have had my doubts too. But it's actually not that bad, and I'm not the biggest fan of apple juice. Growing up, it was always the juice of choice in the fridge due to the low cost. This taste exactly like that cheap apple juice, but with carbonation and lots of caffeine added. Worlds better than most energy drinks.

You drink it and at first it's just a nice, light raspberry water, but then...something happens. I started to taste like maple syrup flavored raspberry water. That is not an ingredient, but I thought that it would make for a good drink. I've had things that are flavored with maple syrup and they're not that bad. Then it got me to thinking, what if there was a pancake flavored drink? You could do maple syrup sweetened, raspberry flavored juice. There would have to be some other magic in there to make it more "pancake" and less "I think this is kind of like a pancake". Am I on to something? Should I have just reviewed this drink as saying:

"This is a nice drink. It's very refreshing and not too sweet. Full of vitamins or not, it's got a nice taste that goes down smooth."

Or should I let my fat kid imagination run away with me and start inventing drinks that don't exist? I'll do what I want, thank you very much.

Water, grape juice, fructose, and fermented vinegar are the only ingredients in this pouch. The first three sound like the ingredients to grape juice. But then you add....vinegar? As if the ingredients didn't weird me out enough, the tag line on the packaging is really interesting: "They quench your thirst and their acid content makes them a natural mouth freshener". I assume the 'they' in this content is the drink, or did we just walk into the middle of some weird anime?

At first I couldn't smell the vinegar, only the grape juice. Then a waft of strong vinegar hit me. This is the same thing that happened when I drank it. The first sip there was no vinegar taste. So for my second sip, I took a bigger one and got a strong vinegar taste. I really like the taste of vinegar, so i can't say this is bad. But it's not really that good. You only get slight hints of vinegar when you're drinking it, it's mostly grape flavored. But then when it settles in your stomach, it's all vinegar. I don't really understand the appeal of this drink. Maybe it's for people who like vinegar, but it looks weird chugging a bottle?

I usually don't care about flavored water, but the unique packaging of this bottle drew me in. It's clear plastic and has a footed bottom like most bottles. But then it is shaped like, and has a top like a can. Weird.

Unlike the packaging, this drink is pretty straightforward. It has very light carbonation and sweetness, which lets the orange flavor really stand out. It's a really light drink, and pretty refreshing. I keep wanting this to be a soda with more carbonation, but sadly it's not. This is precisely why I can't get into flavored water. It doesn't want to be water, but it doesn't want to commit to being a soda. Pick a side!

Ladies and gentleman we are gathered here today to bear witness to the holy union of Ginger and Ginseng. Many of you have known the couple for years and have your personal feelings about them.

Ginger, with her fiery brew, has always been very popular amongst the populace. As a child many a mother would call her over to care for her young when they had a stomachache. She has been an old friend to all of us from our first sips of her ale to our bottles of hearty brew. She is a flavor all her own and we love her for it.

Then there is Ginseng. Many people say he's from the wrong side of the tracks. He very rarely leaves his home and chooses to stew in his own filth. He always seems to be getting himself mixed up in the sketchy drug world. No matter how anyone tries to talk him up, in the end he always emerges as the filthy scumbag that he is.

Now that these two crazy kids are finally being bonded together there is a blend created. Ginger may not live up to her full potential, but she will help Ginseng straighten out his life. Even if that means she ends up tasting a little dirty. Hopefully by the end of the bottle he won't end up dragging her down to the gutter with him.

Milky and fruity? Interesting. As a scientist, I had to buy this drink. I didn't think that it was going to be bad, but I also didn't really know what to expect. With milk, you're kind of rolling dice. Giant dice. Fun dice that you would roll at a local discount home improvement store in order to get a percentage off of your purchase price. After opening the can, I looked in and it was creamy white. It smelled sweet and fruity and actually quite inviting. I poured some out to two different Mike's, one Kevin, and then myself, the third Mike.

I liked it. It was pretty sweet, but, as you could guess, smooth on account of milks doing. The apple was a pretty truthful apple flavor. I might say green apple if I have to pick. It's pretty good. Nothing like Apple Jacks, like you might imagine apple and milk would taste. That's bad for people who love cereal and think it would be a good idea to bottle and sell cereal milk. I've got news for you, friends. You aren't the only one who has thought of it.

Yang-mei is the official name for yum-berry. This is my first adventure in a straight up yum-berry beverage, and I have to tell you I'm not that impressed. It tastes like a foreign fruit punch. Does that make sense? Is that racist somehow? I don't know and I don't really care. It's insanely sweet. I can't even drink this entire 17oz bottle in one sitting. This is my third attempt at it. I think I'm looking at two more. I even had to check to make sure it wasn't a concentrate. It's not, just tons of sugar was involved with it's creation.

Shit Sandwich.

I am not too familiar with guava. I think as a standard American, I'm used to fruits like apples, grapes, oranges, and watermelon. Oh, and mush melon. Honeydew is great, too. Oh, man do I love pineapple, too. Mangoes and Guava were unheard of until I was, without exaggeration, 15 or something. By then, I had a handful of great fruits to rely on and that I liked. Why would I need anything else? Well, why do I need to drink beverages with chunks in it? Why do I need to eat things with ham on it? I eat them because they're friggin' delicious and someone made them and why not. That's why.

I don't blame my parents for not giving me "exotic" fruits. It's not their fault. They bought like ten other fruits regularly. I can't hold my parents responsible for not introducing me to everything. That's a ridiculous demand and I understand that.

This drink, guava in flavor, is good. It's right on the cusp of sweetness. Teetering on the fence of good and a bit too sweet, this drink was very bold. It has so much fruit flavor. After drinking those Alo aloe vera drinks, these aloe chunks seem baby sized. I'm not using that against them or even asking them to step up their chunk game. Just stating something I noticed.

Enough review, go drink.

Let me start off by saying that I absolutely love the design on this can. It may be the best looking packaging of anything we've reviewed yet. It's simple and pleasant. From color to typeface everything is perfect.

I couldn't sleep last night. I blame this on my cat. Earlier in the day I was sitting on my bed reading, and she jumped up and curled into a ball under my arm. I took advantage of this rare scenario and ended up falling asleep. Cut to the middle of the night and I'm still awake after watching yet another mediocre movie. I grabbed this from the fridge and drank it down. It is lightly carbonated with a strawberry taste to it. It's a very specific strawberry taste, not like biting into a big juicy berry. It took me awhile to figure it out, but it reminds me of the strawberry fluoride that you got at the dentist when you were a kid. The thing is this wasn't gross. Yes it tastes slightly medicinal, but was pleasant in a way that I didn't expect.

It didn't work like I had hoped it would. I was probably being impatient though as it was late, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Miracle cures don't exist. Remember that. After awhile (it seemed like forever, but was probably about a half hour) I passed out to a dream filled slumber. In one of the dreams I was on a road trip in a van with a bunch of friends and their fathers. We stopped at a weird rest stop and Mike and I looked at strange drinks. I guess that's not too far from my real life, except in the dream I drove 16 hours straight. Sometimes dreams are just more exhausting than real life.