Glaceau (18 reviews)
Glaceau Vitamin Water Zero Rhythm
Jay isn't the only rock star in Thirsty Dudes. It's true. At one time, I used to play bass for a math, indie rock band. It was awesome and I had a lot of fun the entire time we were a band. We were all great friends and loved practicing. The drummer and I, making up the rhythm section were called "The Rhythm Section" and the singer and two guitar players were known as "The Turds," for no reason. It just came to be and that's how it always was. There was no rivalry or anything, it was just a name and it stuck.
This drink is called "Rhythm" and I like it. There is no food called "rhythm" but there is a starfruit and citrus flavored fruits, which make up this drink. I've got to say, it's pretty spot on. I've only had a starfruit once or twice in my life, but I've had enough "citric" fruits to be able to pick them out of a lineup. Those two mixed with the erythritol is a nice, cool, citric sweet treat that I somehow just destroyed a bottle in like ten minutes of casual drinking. I normally don't drink that fast so I'm either dehydrated or it's that good. I'll give those boys over at Vitamin Water the benefit of the doubt and call it a great drink.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/9/2012
Glaceau Vitamin Water Attention
Attention! Alright you maggots, welcome to basic training. I will be your drill sergeant, Perry Como. The first one of you to make fun of my name or to refer to the singer who I happen to share a name with gets to clean the toilets for the next week with their toothbrush, and THEN brush their teeth with it. I’m here to whip you little sissy girls into shape. I will make you the men that you ought to be to defend our beloved country. Yes I know that is sexist, but guess what I’m a drill sergeant. I am supposed to be offensive and unpleasant. Haven’t you ever seen a movie before?
As may of you may know Vitamin Water sponsors the United States Army. As each group of new recruits shows up at the base so does a pallet of one flavor of Vitamin Water. After getting a look at you children, it only seems fitting that you would be given such a froo froo drink as this blend of apples and watermelon. Oh and look these apples are from Fuji, well ooh la la aren’t we fancy? You will not be given refreshments until you have completed each phase of your training. That being said you’re first bit of training is that you will be running 20 miles out in a torrential downpour. Since it is not raining we have a machine that will simulate the storm. It will move with you around the track, dumping rain and wind on your heads like the king of Hades himself. As you run I will sit comfortably on a platform just outside of the storms range enjoying one of these girly drinks. Let me get prepared and open one up now, so you can watch the enjoyment on my face as to give you motivation. I will now take a sip and describe the flavor to you, so you can begin salivating like the dogs you are. Ahhhh. This really does taste exactly like some scientist somewhere found out a way to juice candy apples. It has the specific apple flavor that can only be given by a Fuji apple, but it also has the candy taste of the sugar coating. There is a slight watermelon flavor in it, but really it’s mostly candy apple that I taste. It’s wonderful to have that flavor without the mess that normally accompanies it. Also there is a whole mess of caffeine in here. It would make more sense for you to drink this before you run, but we’re the army and we’re cruel, so afterwards you’re bodies will be exhausted, but your minds will be alert! Now get under that storm machine and start running!
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/6/2012
Glaceau Vitamin Water Revive
Oh the original line of Vitamin Water. How many bottles of you have I downed over the years? Dozens? Of course. Hundreds? Certainly. Thousands? Now that might be pushing it.
You see for years I had chronic stomach pain. I would wake up fine, but by the time I went to sleep at night I was in intense pain. I went to the doctor in 2001 to get it checked out and he gave me some pills. They worked a bit, but my insurance ran out and I didn’t go back to see a doctor for over a decade. I learned to live with the pain. Then I went on tour in Europe and after a few days I noticed the pain was subsiding. By the time I headed back to the States it was gone. The first thing I did when I got home was to grab a slice of good pizza and drink a can of Arizona. That night my pain returned. I was extremely confused. It took me awhile before I discovered that most European companies don’t use high fructose corn syrup. I decided to try cutting it out of my beverage diet. Again the pain went away. I had the secret to a stomach pain free life. Around that time Vitamin Water was one of the few companies readily available in gas stations that didn’t use HFCS. I started drinking it constantly, to an extent that was probably unhealthy.
During this time Revive was one of my favorites. It’s supposed to be fruit punch, but it doesn’t exactly taste like it, maybe a little, but a very, very light version of it. I would narrow it down to more of a berry based fruit punch rather than a tropical one. If you haven’t tried this before I’d be shocked. Now you know a stupid story abut me that doesn’t affect your life at all. You also know very little about this drink. Here’s a bit more. It’s not overly sweet, but it’s fairly flavorful. You know what? You can find this anywhere so just spend the dollar and try it yourself.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/13/2012
Glaceau Vitamin Water Focus
Sometimes life gets you down and you don’t know what to do to make things right. It is the job of your best friend to recognize these times and do the only thing that could possibly save the day: take you to the dirt mall to see a fortuneteller. There is nothing that the dirt mall fortuneteller cannot see about your future. She will guide you onto the righteous path. When you settle down in her stall she will tell you to relax and to focus. She will have a Eastern European accent, so don’t let your mind drift to dark places. Also, don’t let it drink to this wonderful drink. I understand that it is easy to focus on Focus, but that’s not why you’re there. You’re there to sort your life out. It is very fruity and refreshing though. It’s hard to not slip into a train of thought that is filled with strawberries and just the slightest hint of kiwi. A train of thought that is smooth and light, not too syrupy like many thought trains are. It’s like a dinning car fill with vitamins and minerals that are needed when you spend most of your meals in a food court. Sure it doesn’t really taste the way strawberries do, but more like the way strawberry scented things smell. It’s strange that it is still enjoyable, but it is.
Now what did she just say? Ahh yes that your birthday falls between the first and last of Oct-To-Ber.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose and Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/8/2012
Glaceau Vitamin Water Spark
According to the Tori Amos song, which I can only assume like a great big idiot is the namesake of this drink "She's convinced she could hold back a glacier." Well maybe, just maybe she could hold back a wall of ice, but even if she could do that, there is absolutely no way she could hold back the monumental force of Glaceau as a company or in the way of flavor. Vitamin water has become as commonplace as Coke or Pepsi and that is something they should be proud of. They have done it with quality tasting drinks as well (okay their "Zero" line could use some work).
This is the first time I've tried the Spark flavor and I can assure you that it will be my new go-to flavor when I'm at random gas stations in the middle of nowhere America. I really think they should rethink what they are calling this flavor though. They have dubbed it "grape-blueberry" but obviously they modeled the flavor off of the blue Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip. It tastes exactly like you licked the white sugar stick, stuck in the package and then bit a big chunk of it off. It's delicious, but this drink tastes less sugary than the actual candy (which is basically solidified sugar dipped into powdered sugar). Also, it is fine to share this drink with someone, where it should be completely unacceptable to share your Lik-M-Aid. No one wants to double dip into your spit sugar.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/10/2012
Glaceau Vitamin Energy Dragonfruit
Alright fine. I'll come out and say it. For the last week, I've been on a cruise. We went to a tropical location and it was quite lovely. Food and drink were atrocious and there was one day where, and I'm making up a percentage, 80% of the boat got wicked sick. Aside from that, it was totally awesome and I would do it again.
While being on that boat, I was tired. Super tired. I could never get enough sleep. It's not that I didn't sleep well, which I didn't, but I think that the (mostly) gentle rocking of the boat put me to sleep so any time I was in the room, I would touch the bed and wake up an hour later. Just like that. Like a tired baby, my face would touch the bed and BAM, seven turned into eight.
Now I'm home and should be well rested, but I'm not. I'm still tired and have a life to live. I've got things to do, people to see, obligations to sort out and all the while I am tired and still have my sea legs attached instead of my trusty, land lubber legs. To compensate and hopefully, temporarily over-compensate, I have taken part in this energy drink. I have been drinking a lot of these as of late. I hope there isn't anything wrong with me but assuming there isn't, let's get down to brass tacks and review this drink.
It's good. I had never seen this Vitamin Energy before and the corner store, aptly named "The Corner Store" had it so I bought her and threw her in the fridge for a week. Having eaten one actual dragon fruit, I felt like I was an expert in the matter.
This drink tasted remarkably like dragon fruit and remarkably not gross/energy...y. I would say ten percent, maybe fifteen percent energy and the remainder is dragon fruit. I wonder why anyone would drink a Red Bull or equivalent if they have energy drinks that taste like this. Seriously, people. If you like energy drinks and live by Red Bull, you're a dummy because there are better tasting energy drinks out there. Don't be a dummy. Get this drink.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/3/2011
Glaceau Vitamin Water Defense
On a fluke, sometimes it's really nice in Buffalo. Contrary to popular belief, although it snows like the dickens...Dickens(?)...Who cares? Contrary to popular believe, although it snows like Charles Dickens, the grass and snow sometimes emerge and when they do at the same time, it can be a really nice day. When this blue moon happens, the city knows it and every one goes outside. I'm going to say that the crime rate drops to zero because even the gangsters are drinking lemonade or buying new slacks at local shops. Gunfights are an indoor activity and should not be wasted on nice days like today.
We went out today to Buffalo's one of two beaches which, if you live in suburbia, are smaller than your yard and one of them is landlocked. A novel attempt, but poor delivery and a poor use of my tax dollars, I should say. Regardless, we played in the sand, walked by some WWII battleships, and got some ice cream. It was a nice walk into the sun and it made me quite parched.
While waiting for ice cream, I picked up a Vitamin Water that we somehow didn't do. I was going to get the orange one, because I like it, but the raspberry apple sounded better and more quenching. I made the right choice. It was everything I wanted it to be and was very refreshing, very cold, and I wish I didn't have to share it because I'm home now and am still thirsty. It did actually taste like raspberry and apple and nothing else. It was really good and possibly my new fallback when it comes to Vitamin Water. That says a lot.
To cap the night, I'm sure that there will be drag races outside my window as there are on most night and maybe, just maybe, if I'm lucky, there will be prostitutes outside watching the races, soliciting the racers and passersby. Hey, a woman has to make a living. I won't call the cops on you, girls.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/25/2011
Glaceau Vitamin Water Essential
As one can see from reading our reviews, we often compare orange water beverages to Tang. What can we say? It's the original and Mike loves the stuff. He always had a huge container of the powder in his cupboard when we lived together. He also hated astronauts. It's really a worrisome thing. He walks around making this outrageous claims about how there's going to be a fist fight on the fateful day he runs into Neil Armstrong on the street. I really don't get it.
Regardless this does remind me of Tang. It's orange flavored and it's not too thick. It's an old standby in the Vitamin Water world.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/5/2011
Glaceau Vitamin Water Stur-D
I just realized that I have not had a Vitamin Water since we started this site. That seems insane because there was a long stretch of my life where I got them for free so I drank at least one a day. Since this incarnation of Thirsty Dudes ten months ago I just figured there were other, weirder, drinks that needed my attention. When I was in a gas station and I wanted something that wasn't carbonated I went with a new flavor of an old standby.
As soon as I opened it I remembered how much I actually enjoy Vitamin Water. Glaceau took the traditional sports drink and upped the ante. They add extra vitamins and minerals to make their drinks more functional, but at the same time they take extra care to make sure that all of their products have a strong pleasant flavor. The only thing that could really make these better would be if they actually used the juice from the fruits listed in the flavors. I guess this would fall under a different category if they did though, and it might lose its functionality.
This particular bottle is supposed to be blue agave, passion fruit and citrus flavored. The individual flavors don't stand out at all, but it does taste like a hodgepodge of the flavors combined into something new. Maybe it's just passion fruit and citrus. I've never had straight up agave before, but I've had it as a sweetener and I don't really remember it having a distinct taste. Overall it taste rather great. I would definitely pick this over a Gatorade any day. I don't think I will be waiting nearly as long before I pick up another bottle of this.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/23/2011
Glaceau Vitamin Water Zero Squeezed
I'm drinking this bottle at a historic moment. As I am writing this, the New York State senate just passed the bill to make same sex marriage legal in New York. I didn't time this, it just kind of happened as I was starting this review. Pretty awesome if you ask me!
I must say, it's a good fit. This flavor of Vitamin Water is awesome! I was expecting it to be watered down, but it has a lot of flavor to it. It has a good lemon taste that is just tart enough to make me smile. This may be my new favorite flavor of Vitamin Water. It’s a big surprise. Much like this bill passing.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Rebiana
- Categories
- Diet, Lemonade, Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 6/24/2011
