Water (244 reviews)

Polar Seltzer Mango Cherry Bliss

Polar Seltzer Mango Cherry Bliss

I’ve been putting this off. One simply does not enjoy bad mouthing Polar. They bring so much joy to my life and excitement to my taste buds. Unfortunately here I sit with one of the limited edition summer flavors for 2018, sipping away out of obligation and respect, but little enjoyment. Something about this just tastes artificial. It doesn’t even have a medicinal cherry flavoring, it just tastes like some sort of chemical flavoring. It’s not just the cherry either, the mango tastes off as well. There is just no bliss to be found in this beverage. Do yourself a favor and just grab a different flavor of Polar and enjoy. Lucky for everyone this is limited.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 weeks, 6 days ago
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Green-Go Cactus Water Hint of Lemon

Green-Go Cactus Water Hint of Lemon

So after saying the name of this beverage several times aloud to a friend they still thought that I was saying it was called Gringo and not Green-Go. Was that an intentional marketing plan? Perhaps it was an inside joke, you know a play on how the white people who live in the suburbs of America won’t shut up about how such and such restaurant is completely authentic Mexican, when in reality it’s like an Applebees that serves tacos. Those same people probably will never step into the hole in the wall taquerias that look filthy, but taste amazing, serving things such as nopal. In case you didn’t know nopal is cactus and it is what is used to make this beverage. The folks at Green-Go puree the paddles of the nopal cactus into a beverage that is ridiculously refreshing. Think of it as coconut water’s long lost cousin. When I describe what cooked nopal tastes like to people I always say it’s like a cross between green beans and green peppers. This tastes nothing like that, thankfully…I think? This tastes kind of like unsweetened aloe vera, but you know without being overbearing and resembling poison. It tastes plantlike, but it is very mild. It’s the kind of flavor that grows on you the more you drink, and you will want to drink a lot when you see how hydrated it makes you feel. Take it from this gringo.

Website
http://https://drinkgreen-go.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Other/Weird, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 12th, 2018
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Polar Seltzer Blueberry Tangerine

Polar Seltzer Blueberry Tangerine

I took a little break from reviewing Polar’s summer flavors, because let’s be honest, as great as they are there really isn’t much to say. Sure I could tell a story about a family of polar bears who each have very specifically flavored saliva and how a New England company offered them bundles of cash and fish to have exclusive access to their mouth juice in order to flavor there beverages, but we all know that story like we know about the birth of Christ. Instead I will just say that this is my favorite of the 2018 Summer limited edition. It’s got berries and it’s got citrus, and both turned out well, without a hint of bear spit. The flavors taste as true as can be in a seltzer and I have downed far too many liters of it over the past month.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 6th, 2018
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Susosu Essential Hydrogen Water

Susosu Essential Hydrogen Water

Whenever a company sends us water to review I always find myself at a loss. Sure, water from different parts of the county/world have slightly different tastes, but I really have no idea how to describe the differences. My palate surely is not sophisticated enough to be able to distinguish which states use fluoride and to what extent, or what minerals are more prevalent in one town that another. I will say there is a noticeable difference in waters that are pH balanced, they are somehow smoother and more enjoyable for me. Mineral water can have a distinct taste and what we have here is a mineral water, but it doesn’t taste like the carbonated versions I have drunk in the past. Maybe the bubbles embellish the flavor. To me this tastes like a nice clean, smooth water. There is nothing more I could say to give it a better review. That is what I want out of water, and that is what it delivers. Sure, the company claims that it can be used as an antioxidant, energy booster, muscle rejuvenation, and that it slows aging, but I certainly can’t tell if any of those things are true. I hope they are. I hope this is the healthiest thing you could ever possibly drink, because I find it refreshing and what more could I ask from water. My one complaint is that the cap does not reseal well, but at 300mL why should I have to reseal it?

Website
http://susosuwater.com/
Country
Korea
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 25th, 2018
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Ocean Spray Pact Cranberry Blood Orange

Ocean Spray Pact Cranberry Blood Orange

Question: Is it infused if it takes the color and flavor of the fruit? It seems like it's just a juice at that point.

Story: This is good. I saw it at an Aldi and left the line I was in while the people in front of me argued about bringing bags and the people behind me screamed at someone on the phone about how they're going to beat the hell of them when they see them. I'm painting a picture of what it's like to Aldi by me. Yes, it's a verb. I could not get out of there fast enough. It's not always like that but when it rains it pours.

Review: This is good. I'm at work after a long weekend just drinking some fruity juice water. It's good. Best of all, you can't really tell that it's fake sugar. I believe previously that you could. Perhaps they improved the recipe. From a drink standpoint it's good. I certainly get more cranberry than blood orange or even citrus at all. Did that make it lose points? Nope. It was still good. I would get it again. For the eleventh time, though, this is juice. Give Vitamin Water to a child and have a discussion about whether or not it's water or juice. Hint makes water with fruit essence in it. This is not that.

Website
http://www.oceanspray.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Juice, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 12th, 2018
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Polar Seltzer Cucumber Melon

Polar Seltzer Cucumber Melon

For years one of the things I have wanted most out of the beverage world was a Polar cucumber seltzer. Sure some other companies made them to varying degrees of wonderfulness, but I really wanted it from Polar, so it would be readily available in large quantities and be inexpensive. This summer my dreams were finally answered, and I thought I was getting an added bonus with the melon tacked on. A nice cucumber honeydew (or cantaloupe) combination is hard to beat in my world. The thing is that Polar went with a different melon, one that never tastes right in any form other than eating the melon itself. This is an approximation of cucumber and watermelon. While the cucumber taste in here is spot on and wonderful, the watermelon has that inevitable Jolly Rancher flavor to it. I don’t know why it is impossible to capture the true flavor of watermelon but it plagues humanity. This is still good, due to the lack of sugar the fake watermelon flavor is passable. Next year, let’s step up the game Polar, how about going with one of the other melons I mentioned, or even just straight cucumber. I bet it would be a best seller (if not from sales to me alone). While you’re at it, how about putting the vanilla in cans as well? Or maybe a vanilla-pineapple mix-up. What this isn’t a pitch meeting? My bad,

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 4th, 2018
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Bubbly Sparkling Water Grapefruit

Bubbly Sparkling Water Grapefruit

After trying the strawberry I had high hopes for the other Bubbly flavors. That one strength to its flavor that you don't find in every seltzer. This grapefruit one is a dime a dozen (or 99 cents a bottle). It tastes like every other grapefruit seltzer I have had in my time walking this planet. That's not a bad thing, but I was hoping for a bit more pizazz. I wanted to feel like I was eating breakfast at a cabin in the woods and for some reason I thought citrus was the proper food. I don't know why my brain associates those things. It is a weird place to live. This tastes like grapefruit, but not so much that it makes your face scrunch up that so badly want it to do.

Website
http://www.bubly.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 30th, 2018
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Polar Seltzer Raspberry Rose

Polar Seltzer Raspberry Rose

Summertime in Seltzerville in 2018 is very similar to that of last year. Most of the limited edition Polar flavors are slight twists on last year’s flavors, while others such as this Raspberry Rose have just been brought back in the same form for summer consumption. I have no idea how we did not review this one last year. I guess it was when Mike and I were in a slump and were just burned out with doing Thirsty Dudes. Whatever the reason we missed it, and we apologize.

I am a bit surprised that this is the only returning flavor, as it was probably my least favorite of the 2017 line (I drank far too much of the mango berry). This is essentially a unsweetened , non-alcoholic wine spritzer. It’s not something I would normally drink. It’s lighter in flavor than normal Polar flavors. It also has an undertone that I will attribute to the fake wine aspect. I don’t really know if that is true, because wine seems like the grossest thing to me. It just smells like rot to me. This isn’t really a beverage for me, but friends who tried this, who enjoy wine said that it’s pretty fantastic, so don’t take my word on anything.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 27th, 2018
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Treo Organic Birch Water Infusion Blueberry

Treo Organic Birch Water Infusion Blueberry

I learned today that birch water is nature’s Gatorade. According to the Treo website it is “full of naturally occurring electrolytes and antioxidants” and it “hydrates your body faster than water.” Interesting. Did you also know that it’s what plants crave? Did you also know that we are in a real life version of the movie Idiocracy….says far too many people who think they are clever. Less complaining about annoying people and more talk about the drink at hand. Xylitol is naturally occurring in birch sap as well, so this is naturally sweet yet low in calories. Everything seems to be coming up roses for this style of beverage. The only thing is I’m not 100% sold on the taste. I could see it going down smooth after exercising or performing at a sporting event, but just casually sipping it is not really for me. It doesn’t taste like maple, but there is something about it that I can’t put my finger on that makes it definitely in the same family. For the record I am not a maple fan, so that could be the reason to my slight aversion to this. At least the blueberry in here is tasty and is like fruit and not just flavoring. Now I just want to listen to Trio, you know the band that sings Da Da Da that is not the Elastica version.

Website
http://www.drinktreo.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Erytritol
Categories
Other/Weird, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 26th, 2018
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Polar Seltzer'ade Starfruit Lemonade

Polar Seltzer'ade Starfruit Lemonade

The weather has finally broke and it’s been plain warm out. The sun is shining down the trees are sprouting leaves and I’m sitting on my back porch hanging with my new puppy and sipping on this can of seltzer’ade. Oh yeah, The artist formerly known as Editor Dan is also with me, encouraging my pup to be the jerk he kind of already is. He’s a bad friend I tell ya. The only reason I mention this poor influence is that he tried this beverage and instantly proclaimed that it tasted like lemon Pez. He’s not too far off base. It’s not exact, but I see where he’s coming from. I have no idea if this tastes like actual starfruit, because I haven’t tasted one in over a decade. I can say that it is fruity and refreshing, and that I would be enjoying it a lot more if I didn’t have to worry about this dog doing something stupid, like dig a giant hole in my lawn…..too late.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Lemonade, Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 22nd, 2018
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