Mike Literman (1703 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Starbucks Cold Brew Cocoa & Honey

Starbucks Cold Brew Cocoa & Honey

This is what all coffee should taste like for me. The quest is over. I go to local (Buffalo) places and try iced mocha coffee from all of them and they're missing something or there's too much of something else. This, though, this is fantastic. It's lightly sweetened and relies on the honey to earn some of its keep. It's got a great chocolate taste but isn't too strong. I read that it has cream in it but it's not thick like it could be. It might be there just to smooth some of the taste out. It's really good. It's not terribly cheap at $3 per bottle and I actually don't know where I can get it in Buffalo, which is a good thing. I was in Erie, PA when I got this guy but I feel like it won't be long before I see them here. It's kind of impossible that this won't be successful in the "test market" that is Erie that it won't trickle out to the rest of the country. For all I know, the takeover could be happening right beneath my nose and I could walk outside and see everyone drinking it like some sponsored episode of the Twilight Zone. Eh, could be worse.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 2 weeks, 4 days ago
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Pure Leaf Black Tea Pomegranate

Pure Leaf Black Tea Pomegranate

I'm not going to push any product on this review but this isn't good. It's not bad but it does not taste good. I drank a third of the bottle and am not going to waste my time drinking the rest. Don't get me wrong, I have a long track record of liking Pure Leaf. Their unsweetened is great as is their "Just a Tad Sweet." Their more boutique flavors are great also. This...there is a reason this was at Big Lots. When you buy drinks from Big Lots, you buy them with a little asterisk attached. Sometimes they're diamonds in the rough like the Unsweetened Peace Tea and sometimes they're not. You can't be mad about it.

This has the aftertaste of pomegranate but while you're drinking it, you get a taste of something undesirable. It's hard to pinpoint but it tastes artificial. I think it just has a strange tinge to it. Strange that it tastes better a minute after you drink it but it's when you're in the moment that counts and when you are in the think of it, it's not good. No sir. Peace out, two-thirds of this bottle.

Website
http://theloveofleaves.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 3 weeks, 6 days ago
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Mountain Dew Dew.S.A.

Mountain Dew Dew.S.A.

Wow. If you gave even a teaspoon of this to even the toughest eagle, it would fly into the goddamn sun and burn to a well-done representation of itself never to spread its wings again. Look. I don't hate myself. Do I get depressed and wonder about my life? Yeah, sure. We all do. Drinking this is like two rungs away from suicide. I drank half and had to choke that down. It's so sweet. So sweet. Half a can at a backyard barbecue for this website only. If this site didn't exist, my lips would have never touched the indistinguishable pop.

What does it taste like? It's hard to say. This is going to sound stupid but it's true but it tastes like if you filled up a cup half with regular, mom and pop Mountain Dew and then put all the other Mountain Dews in there to top it off. Sure, you can call it White Out, Voltage and Code Red and sure it might be, but none of these have terrible distinguishable flavors so mashing and mushing them all up together isn't going to get you any closer to success.

Look, the Fourth of July is coming up and maybe we need something like this in our lives to feel patriotic. What's more American than three Mountain Dews that are readily available dumped into one can and sold as a fourth Mountain Dew that tastes like fruity liquid sewage? Who cares, right? 'Merica. Rest in toasty pieces, eagle. You did all you could when you were with us. From that time you ate that mouse to the time you ate that other mouse. We'll never forget.

Website
http://www.mountaindew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 month ago
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Spindrift Sparkling Water Raspberry Lime

Spindrift Sparkling Water Raspberry Lime

I enjoy Spindrift's stuff. I've had a bunch of it and it's nice to see it come here (Buffalo) so that it makes it easier to get. It's like a seltzer for people who want things a little more juice and less seltzer. It's kind of a mild difference but it's there and you can tell even if you can't put your finger on exactly what it is. This has a taste you have to either just like or get used to, though. It's not like a seltzer in that it's bright and bubbly so don't go in head first and expect it. It's got something else that, like I said, I can't pinpoint exactly what it is.

As far as the taste, it's an accurate raspberry and lime flavor. Evenly flavored and not messed around with other sweeteners or ingredients. It's a nice, bare bones drink that could be a nice alternative to your seltzer habit which I can stop at any time, mom, jeez! Get off my back already.

Website
http://www.spindriftsoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 month ago
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Busy Bee Yerba Mate Honey Mint

Busy Bee Yerba Mate Honey Mint

I don't know what to say. I'm rarely in this position but I am at a loss for words. I do not know, and I've tried, if I like this. Yerba mate has never been high on my list of things that I really like but I am 95% done with this bottle and drank all of that with an open mind. Where has that gotten me? Nowhere, really. I've been sipping on it for an entire day and I don't know what to make of it.

It's bitter. Yerba mate is bitter. It's not punishing but it doesn't go down smooth, that's for truth. The honey is masked by the flavor of the tea and the mint is nearly non-existent. I'm not penalizing it for what it is and I'm not punishing it for what it could be. This is an honest yerba mate if there ever was one but it is, for me at least, a tough pill to swallow. It's lightly sweetened but it's not for kids. If a kid likes this, they have really crunchy parents and probably real all the time. Put that in your dad's medicine pipe and smoke it if you live in whatever states weed is legal in.

Website
http://busybeemate.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Wildflower Honey
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 13th, 2017
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Farmer Springs Milk Tea Matcha

Farmer Springs Milk Tea Matcha

Jay loves matcha. Why did I review this then? Don't ask questions. That's why.

This was purchased as a local Asian grocery store I tend to go to. I brought my son thinking he might like some different snacks and treats. For the record I thought wrong. I bought him a mochi ball and he didn't like it. I bought him a chunky juice and he didn't like it.

This was good but even in the small bottle there is no way I could finish it. It does taste like matcha but after a while, you eventually lose the green tea taste and it starts to taste like the milk at the end of cereal. Once again, not bad, but exhausting and sweet. Not tooth rottingly sweet but too sweet for me to drink even this baby bottle.

Country
China
Sweetener
Fructose Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 7th, 2017
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Polar Seltzer Watermelon Margarita

Polar Seltzer Watermelon Margarita

I do not know what a margarita is aside from a drink that my live-in-wife likes to order as a "salty marg." This did taste like watermelon, or, perhaps closer to a watermelon candy (somehow) without sugar. Could you imagine eating watermelon that wasn't sweet? That would be a strange thing. Watermelons are very sweet. This was not at all sweet and as far as I could tell, also not salty. I don't know what this is, to be quite honest. Sparkling watermelon perhaps. The margarita might just be a word they used to append to the end.

This is not bad and it's far from my least favorite but it's not bad. It's unfortunately not one of the ones I would come back to actively. There are times when I go to parties and think to myself, "Well the kids will have juice boxes and the adults will have beers so it looks like it's another Polar for me." and that's how I roll to parties. I might roll with this. It's safe but it's not exceptional.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 7th, 2017
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Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee S'Mores

Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee S'Mores

Where do I start with this...? It's not great. That's where I'll start. Before the similes and before the jokes, let's get to the marshmallow'y meat of this whole ordeal. It's not great. It tastes vaguely of marshmallow if you made a marshmallow with an array of chemicals...errrr...artificial sweeteners and then covered in more sugar. This time, and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here, real sugar.

This has more of a coffee taste than many of the other iced coffee's I've have, which is a welcome change but the rest of it...I feel like I might need a tongue scraper. It's a very prominent, strong taste that I wish I couldn't taste anymore. I'm not saying it's terrible and I'm going to barf, but after sharing half of this and finishing a half of what I had left, I don't know how much s'more endurance I have left in me. That's not a pun. I don't do puns. I'm better than that.

If you're wondering, I can't taste any chocolate or graham cracker. Marshmallow and coffee and endless questionable sweeteners. This will surly bring a plague of unknown disease upon my poor, meat-filled body. I just won't know about it for another twenty years when the test results come back. Prognosis...negative.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 31st, 2017
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Teavana Craft Iced Tea Pineapple Berry Blue

Teavana Craft Iced Tea Pineapple Berry Blue

I went in to 7-11 looking for one thing and left for something probably way better. I have not had a true Pepsi Fire myself. I say "true" because I got a Slurpee and, in true fashion, I mixed it up. I thought that I would get one for myself tonight but I got sidetracked by this little beauty and what a little beauty it was.

This is lightly sweetened and very strongly flavored. Nice hibiscus flavor. There are "other berries" in there, sure but it's a wonderful evening treat. The rooibos, which I am unfortunately 50/50 on, won me over in this particular drink. Sometimes I feel it can be strong for my taste but everything was done very well here. Very well indeed. There are other flavors out there. Something to think about. Something to dream about.

Website
http://www.teavana.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 30th, 2017
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Naturewise Whole Body Vitality Drink Tropical White Tea

Naturewise Whole Body Vitality Drink Tropical White Tea

What are we celebrating? Did someone get a raise? Did someone get fired? Was it Carol? I never liked her anyhow. Oh, she's still here? Oh, she actually got a raise? Oh, she's standing right behind me? Does she look mad? She does? Oh. Well. I guess I'll have to face this like a man. Hello, Carol. It’s so nice to see you. Lovely day outside, isn’t it? Did you get your hair done? You didn't? You actually have baby puke in your hair? I thought someone was eating cottage cheese. Congratulations on your raise. You are a hard worker and it's good to see all your hard work didn't go unnoticed, which is more than I can say for myself.

I've brought these celebratory drinks. They taste like a mimosa made with orange juice and non-alcoholic champagne sweetened with Erytritol, you know, to keep it diet. It tastes fine but that artificial sweetener is really prominent as if to scream to the world and make it as apparent as possible that you're on a diet. No, I didn't say it looked like you had to go on a diet. No I didn't say that I didn't like you. I said...I said I didn't like "shoes." I didn't like your shoes. I don't like your shoes, Carol. They're just too cool. "Too Cool Carol" is what I'm going to call you. You're making the rest of us look bad, Carol. Everyone hates you because you're too cool. Look out everyone, "Too Cool Carol" is coming through with her baby puke shirt and cool shoes and a raise. Look out! Everyone get out of the way.

Website
http://www.naturewise.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Erytritol
Categories
Diet, Iced Tea, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 19th, 2017
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