Mike Literman (1757 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Hint Peppermint

Hint Peppermint

Oh well Meeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy Christmas. What better way to share the joy that with minty fresh breath brought to you discreetly by water? Look, this is a fine drink. It reminds me of the date of Metromint, may they rest in peace. Wait, are they still a company? According to their website they are not. Bummer. That chocolate mint water was truly something special. Is this? Eh, I guess it will have to do since the forefathers of mint water are now dead and gone.

This is good. It really is. It's not "really good" but it's good enough that it passed the "doesn't taste like toothpaste" test which, you guessed it, is when you drink mint flavored drinks and they do or do not taste like toothpaste. It's a crucial but hidden, secret test that all our drinks have to go through. Think of it as bootcamp for drinks.

This is (probably) a limited time offer so if you like a nice minty drink, get it while the gettin's good. I got this at Target so you should have no problem finding it.

Website
http://www.drinkhint.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 day, 7 hours ago
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Archer Farms Cold Brew Mocha

Archer Farms Cold Brew Mocha

Oh cold brew. What did you do to me? Now I drink coffee? Thirty years I didn't touch the stuff and then all of a sudden "maybe coffee ain't that bad." You jerk. While I only drink one cup a day in the morning, it's still there and wasn't before. It makes me more "adult" than I care to be. Regardless, I now buy and drink coffee like some suit bastard.

How is this? It's a bit syrupy. If I could take the words out of the colleague that I let/made try it, he said that it tasted like the mocha was some sort of syrup that had taken over. It tasted like mocha coffee but the chocolate was very lingering and overpowering. I didn't hate it but it could have been backed off a bit. First sip was great but after a while, you kind of realized that something was happening.

I don't think this was terribly expensive and it's only 70 calories so would I buy it again? Eh, maybe. There's enough "mocha cold brew" out there that you don't have to be married to just one. It's a wonderful, polyamorous world for cold brew. It's like the Utah of the coffee world. Does that make sense? It's the singles cruise for coffee? What I'm getting as is that if you can sleep around, do it. Don't get married too soon. Plenty of cool boobs and butts out there to discover. This is no longer a review of coffee and has taken a PG turn. Shield your eyes, children. Mike's talking about sweater meat again.

Website
http://sites.target.com/site/en/supertarget/page.jsp?title=brands&brand=archerFarms
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 week ago
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Trader Joe's Herbal Flavored Water Lemongrass Spearmint

Trader Joe's Herbal Flavored Water Lemongrass Spearmint

This was nice. I've got a head cold. I wish I could appreciate this more. Instead, it's just a flavored water. It's not super minty like Metromint. I miss Metromint. Man, that chocolate one was great. It doesn't taste like toothpaste which, while doesn't need to be said, should be noted at very least. The lemongrass, yeah, she's there. It's not strong but it's present.

Trader Joe's on a Sunday with your kid who just spit potatoes au gratin in your hands isn't the best way to close a weekend but this was a nice, pleasant way to kind of "round the edges" a little bit.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 4 weeks, 1 day ago
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7 Eleven Green Tea With Ginger

7 Eleven Green Tea With Ginger

More maple syrup. It's the season, right? I thought this stuff was super expensive to extract and refine but at the price that it's being sold at your neighborhood 7-Eleven you wouldn't think so. Maybe it's made with maple water so they don't need to refine it as much.

Honestly, this isn't nearly as good as I wanted it to be. The maple syrup flavor, while good, overpowers the green tea and ginger and just kind of tastes like a vague, generic tea sweetened with maple syrup.

7-Eleven. You're cool with me. My son loves your subs. I love that your drinks are different than the rest. Bring this one back to the drawing board. She's not ready yet. Less maple and more ginger. Plenty-o-ginger.

Website
http://www.7-eleven.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Maple Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 5th, 2018
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Coft Thai Black Tea

Coft Thai Black Tea

I saw this peeking out from my fridge yesterday and decided that today would be the day. I think I bought this as an Asian Market with good ol' Jay. It was dark and didn't appear to have cream in it so I thought it would be something nice. Turns out, there is some form of milk, possibly in the line item "Brewed Thai Tea" although it doesn't explicitly say "milk" outside of "Contains: Milk"

Who cares. Enough milk talk. This is great and do you know why it is great? Because it just tastes like Thai Tea. If we have to differentiate between this and traditional Thai tea, this is less creamy. Back to milk again. This may have more of a black tea base which is actually really good. It's strange. This tastes like black tea sweetened with Thai Tea. It's hard to explain. It tastes like sweet tea, like Southern sweet tea but then you get the flavors and spices (?) of Thai tea.

A+. Quick shipping. Would buy from again.

Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Glucose Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 12th, 2018
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7 Eleven Black Tea

7 Eleven Black Tea

Fantastic.

I love this. It's got a great maple syrup taste but doesn't taste like you're drinking tea to wash down some delicious pancakes. It's nice. It's not too sweet and the tea tastes pretty great, too. This is a repeat purchase. They also have a green tea that would be pretty interesting with maple syrup. I feel like I've had black tea with maple syrup but not green. I feel like that will come across the ol' Thirsty Dudes desk sooner than later.

Go grab one. I feel like 7-Eleven cycles through their own drinks rather quickly so if this sounds good to you, you might want to get on the unicycle you stupidly use for public transportation and head towards the nearest 7-Eleven. If your 7-Elevens are anything like ours, some of them might have closed recently so, like the nearest exits on an airplane, they might be behind you.

Website
http://www.7-eleven.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Maple Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 10th, 2018
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Peloton Cascara Tea Cranberry Lime

Peloton Cascara Tea Cranberry Lime


On route to who cares where in New York City, I picked up this bad boy. It's good. I wanted tea. It's like 80 degrees in October, dude. Jay and I are tired and thirsty, man. I got it and didn't think twice. It was kind of expensive but it's New York so who cares? $3. This place is an island. It costs more to get things here.

Cranberry Lime is a good standard. The tea is good. It's darker that I thought. It was pretty low in calories, too. 60 calories for the bottle. Calories. Who gives a rip? It's honestly pretty regular. Regular good. Jay says it tastes like Mamma Chia without the seeds. I'd get it again. That says a lot. They don't sell it by me.

Website
http://https://www.drinkpeloton.com/
Country
United Kingdom
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 7th, 2018
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Poland Spring Black Cherry

Poland Spring Black Cherry

I'm New York City. Can you tell? Have you seen Jay and I taking the city by storm? We're truly crushing this place. We've eaten all day. We've walked basically one hundred miles. We've seen things, man.

We're eating and drinking and eating and drinking. After doing that for a day and a half, we needed to calm down and drink some seltzer.

You already know what it is, mang. It's black cherry seltzer. I can't believe we haven't drank it before. It's somehow smooth and is super refreshing. You care. You should care. These drinks are important. Who cares about your diet. You look great. Keep drinking seltzer.

Website
http://www.polandspring.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 7th, 2018
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Hydro One True Green Tea

Hydro One True Green Tea

Lot's of science in this bottle. Not a lot of ingredients but the ingredients in there are very much one of two things:
1: Scientific names for simple ingredients.
2: Scientific ingredients.

Either way let me put into terms that idiots like you and myself can understand:
This is lightly sweetened green tea. It's ultra-slightly bitter like a green tea should be and some of that bitterness is from the Reb A/Stevia alternative sweetener. It has zero calories and doesn't taste like something your divorced aunt would give you the two times a month you visit her disgusting apartment.

There are a whole lot of empty promises about how this will help you lose weight but it's all based off the promise that you will continuously buy this drink in hopes that you lower your calorie count. While it's not a false claim, this drink doesn't do anything but quench your thirst. It tastes good. I would drink it again but I wouldn't hold it to any sort of standards or promises. That would be ignorant of me. I'm stupid, not ignorant.

Website
http://https://hydroonebeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Rebaudioside
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 3rd, 2018
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Matcha Love Unsweetened Japanese Matcha + Vanilla

Matcha Love Unsweetened Japanese Matcha + Vanilla

This is not what I expected. It's less bitter and bold than other matcha I have drink/drank/drunk. You don't get a lot of really anything. It tastes like "tea" and a watered down tea at that. It tastes like a green tea but it's only slightly bitter. I don't know about this, man. It's like they only had a little bit of mix and had to make a lot of drinks and they had to stretch it out. "Hey kids, I've got one pack of single serve Kool-Aid and there are four of us so we have to make due, alright?" While I don't mind, and have been known to water down my own drinks, this seems like a wasted attempt. Also, wut vanilla? It's not bad but it's also not much of anything and certainly nothing to write home about. Do we have to change that phrase? Are enough people writing home that we need to keep it? The alternative, which is unfortunate is something abysmal like, "This drink is nothing to text your daddy about." Begrudging and shuttering.

Website
http://www.itoen.com/matcha_love
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 27th, 2018
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