Mike Literman (1706 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Arizona Green Tea Cucumber with Citrus

Arizona  Green Tea Cucumber with Citrus

Well well. Look at this little guy. Sitting here all full of cucumber. What a nice surprise to see something Arizona put out that I was unaware of. Sure, I might not have my ear as close to the ground as I used to but I was caught off guard and didn't think for a second that I wasn't going to get it.

Let's get down to brass tacks. How is she? She's a lot less sweet than Arizona tried and true green tea. That's for truth. There is a very strong scent of cucumber and an equally strong taste. I'm not going to say overpowering but if you're on the fence about cucumbers, this is not the drink for you. There is a commitment issueless amount of cucumber flavor going on within the confides of this can and I know something about commitment issues. I dated my live-in girlfriend for eight years before I ask her to marry me.

I might have drank half of this can. The whole thing is far too much for me. There isn't anything wrong with it but the whole can I feel is a bit gluttonous. You've done a fine thing here, Arizona. Don't take the half I'm going to dump into the sink as an insult. I'm a little under the weather and cannot share the remainder of this.

Website
http://drinkarizona.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 14th, 2017
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The Maple Guild Green Tea Mint

The Maple Guild Green Tea Mint

Green tea and mint is a nice match but something...something about mint is strange. We brush our teeth with mint and chew mint gum and eat mint candy. Mint is synonymous with dental hygiene and it's sometimes tough to disassociate it and enjoy it in a nice drink.

Bad breath aside, this is good. It's a very subtle mint and if it was more overpowering, I couldn't get past it. The green tea isn't bitter at all and it's lightly sweetened. The illustrious Maple Guild does a good job of sweetened but not over-sweetening these drinks and for that I am appreciative. Personally I don't know if I would be a repeat customer for this but the dude I split it with said it was better than the lemon. Different strokes, I guess.

Website
http://https://www.mapleguild.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Maple Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 8th, 2017
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The Maple Guild Black Tea Lemon

The Maple Guild Black Tea Lemon

This is a nice guy. The maple syrup actually rounds out the taste and allows it to be a bit smoother than even a cane sugar pop and somehow, sweetens it enough while somehow keeping the calorie count in half. This whole bottle is 90 calories while a Snapple lemon black tea, for instance is 150. Snapple uses real sugar and tacks on an additional 60 calories and that might not seem like much, but for those who are counting calories, it might make or break your decision.

The whole drink is really just a delight. I shared it with a buddy at work and he thought the same thing. It was decently sweetened. This isn't "a tad sweet" to use the Lipton sweetening verbiage. It's between that and the teeth disintegrating sweetness of a Southern style sweet tea. Not to make a pun but "the sweet spot." I have yet to see this on shelves and they sent it to us so that leads me to believe this is a new line. If you see it, I'd put down what you're used to and trying something new. They know what's going on inside the confines of this bottle and they're letting us in on the secrets of maple sugars.

Website
http://https://www.mapleguild.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Maple Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 3rd, 2017
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Starbucks Cold Brew Cocoa & Honey

Starbucks Cold Brew Cocoa & Honey

This is what all coffee should taste like for me. The quest is over. I go to local (Buffalo) places and try iced mocha coffee from all of them and they're missing something or there's too much of something else. This, though, this is fantastic. It's lightly sweetened and relies on the honey to earn some of its keep. It's got a great chocolate taste but isn't too strong. I read that it has cream in it but it's not thick like it could be. It might be there just to smooth some of the taste out. It's really good. It's not terribly cheap at $3 per bottle and I actually don't know where I can get it in Buffalo, which is a good thing. I was in Erie, PA when I got this guy but I feel like it won't be long before I see them here. It's kind of impossible that this won't be successful in the "test market" that is Erie that it won't trickle out to the rest of the country. For all I know, the takeover could be happening right beneath my nose and I could walk outside and see everyone drinking it like some sponsored episode of the Twilight Zone. Eh, could be worse.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 2nd, 2017
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Pure Leaf Black Tea Pomegranate

Pure Leaf Black Tea Pomegranate

I'm not going to push any product on this review but this isn't good. It's not bad but it does not taste good. I drank a third of the bottle and am not going to waste my time drinking the rest. Don't get me wrong, I have a long track record of liking Pure Leaf. Their unsweetened is great as is their "Just a Tad Sweet." Their more boutique flavors are great also. This...there is a reason this was at Big Lots. When you buy drinks from Big Lots, you buy them with a little asterisk attached. Sometimes they're diamonds in the rough like the Unsweetened Peace Tea and sometimes they're not. You can't be mad about it.

This has the aftertaste of pomegranate but while you're drinking it, you get a taste of something undesirable. It's hard to pinpoint but it tastes artificial. I think it just has a strange tinge to it. Strange that it tastes better a minute after you drink it but it's when you're in the moment that counts and when you are in the think of it, it's not good. No sir. Peace out, two-thirds of this bottle.

Website
http://theloveofleaves.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 23rd, 2017
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Mountain Dew Dew.S.A.

Mountain Dew Dew.S.A.

Wow. If you gave even a teaspoon of this to even the toughest eagle, it would fly into the goddamn sun and burn to a well-done representation of itself never to spread its wings again. Look. I don't hate myself. Do I get depressed and wonder about my life? Yeah, sure. We all do. Drinking this is like two rungs away from suicide. I drank half and had to choke that down. It's so sweet. So sweet. Half a can at a backyard barbecue for this website only. If this site didn't exist, my lips would have never touched the indistinguishable pop.

What does it taste like? It's hard to say. This is going to sound stupid but it's true but it tastes like if you filled up a cup half with regular, mom and pop Mountain Dew and then put all the other Mountain Dews in there to top it off. Sure, you can call it White Out, Voltage and Code Red and sure it might be, but none of these have terrible distinguishable flavors so mashing and mushing them all up together isn't going to get you any closer to success.

Look, the Fourth of July is coming up and maybe we need something like this in our lives to feel patriotic. What's more American than three Mountain Dews that are readily available dumped into one can and sold as a fourth Mountain Dew that tastes like fruity liquid sewage? Who cares, right? 'Merica. Rest in toasty pieces, eagle. You did all you could when you were with us. From that time you ate that mouse to the time you ate that other mouse. We'll never forget.

Website
http://www.mountaindew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 20th, 2017
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Spindrift Sparkling Water Raspberry Lime

Spindrift Sparkling Water Raspberry Lime

I enjoy Spindrift's stuff. I've had a bunch of it and it's nice to see it come here (Buffalo) so that it makes it easier to get. It's like a seltzer for people who want things a little more juice and less seltzer. It's kind of a mild difference but it's there and you can tell even if you can't put your finger on exactly what it is. This has a taste you have to either just like or get used to, though. It's not like a seltzer in that it's bright and bubbly so don't go in head first and expect it. It's got something else that, like I said, I can't pinpoint exactly what it is.

As far as the taste, it's an accurate raspberry and lime flavor. Evenly flavored and not messed around with other sweeteners or ingredients. It's a nice, bare bones drink that could be a nice alternative to your seltzer habit which I can stop at any time, mom, jeez! Get off my back already.

Website
http://www.spindriftsoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 20th, 2017
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Busy Bee Yerba Mate Honey Mint

Busy Bee Yerba Mate Honey Mint

I don't know what to say. I'm rarely in this position but I am at a loss for words. I do not know, and I've tried, if I like this. Yerba mate has never been high on my list of things that I really like but I am 95% done with this bottle and drank all of that with an open mind. Where has that gotten me? Nowhere, really. I've been sipping on it for an entire day and I don't know what to make of it.

It's bitter. Yerba mate is bitter. It's not punishing but it doesn't go down smooth, that's for truth. The honey is masked by the flavor of the tea and the mint is nearly non-existent. I'm not penalizing it for what it is and I'm not punishing it for what it could be. This is an honest yerba mate if there ever was one but it is, for me at least, a tough pill to swallow. It's lightly sweetened but it's not for kids. If a kid likes this, they have really crunchy parents and probably real all the time. Put that in your dad's medicine pipe and smoke it if you live in whatever states weed is legal in.

Website
http://busybeemate.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Wildflower Honey
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 13th, 2017
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Farmer Springs Milk Tea Matcha

Farmer Springs Milk Tea Matcha

Jay loves matcha. Why did I review this then? Don't ask questions. That's why.

This was purchased as a local Asian grocery store I tend to go to. I brought my son thinking he might like some different snacks and treats. For the record I thought wrong. I bought him a mochi ball and he didn't like it. I bought him a chunky juice and he didn't like it.

This was good but even in the small bottle there is no way I could finish it. It does taste like matcha but after a while, you eventually lose the green tea taste and it starts to taste like the milk at the end of cereal. Once again, not bad, but exhausting and sweet. Not tooth rottingly sweet but too sweet for me to drink even this baby bottle.

Country
China
Sweetener
Fructose Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 7th, 2017
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Polar Seltzer Watermelon Margarita

Polar Seltzer Watermelon Margarita

I do not know what a margarita is aside from a drink that my live-in-wife likes to order as a "salty marg." This did taste like watermelon, or, perhaps closer to a watermelon candy (somehow) without sugar. Could you imagine eating watermelon that wasn't sweet? That would be a strange thing. Watermelons are very sweet. This was not at all sweet and as far as I could tell, also not salty. I don't know what this is, to be quite honest. Sparkling watermelon perhaps. The margarita might just be a word they used to append to the end.

This is not bad and it's far from my least favorite but it's not bad. It's unfortunately not one of the ones I would come back to actively. There are times when I go to parties and think to myself, "Well the kids will have juice boxes and the adults will have beers so it looks like it's another Polar for me." and that's how I roll to parties. I might roll with this. It's safe but it's not exceptional.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 7th, 2017
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