Energy Drink (562 reviews)

Rockstar Boom Whipped Strawberry

Rockstar Boom Whipped Strawberry

I don’t know what type of Rockstar who would choose this nonsense as their “drink of choice,” energy related or not. It always blows my mind that energy drinks seem to be made mostly in flavors that would be of interest to mostly children. Is this like cigarette companies making their ads attractive to kids? I’m pretty sure it is. In 15-20 years I can only imagine there will be a crazy spike in the number of heart attacks due to organs being weakened over time from people constantly drinking these things.

You know those strawberry candies that come wrapped in foil/plastic that is supposed to look like a strawberry? This tastes like a watered down version of that with some skim milk in it for some reason. I know it says it’s whipped, but that is still a little unnerving to me. It’s like a liquid strawberries and cream that doesn’t taste even remotely natural. I really chose poorly with this one.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 31st, 2018
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Nomad Energy Plant Based Energy Drink

Nomad Energy Plant Based Energy Drink

I really appreciate when companies do things the “right” way. Nomad makes their product with very few ingredients and they are all sustainable. They are a company that cares about this world that we all share and they are taking efforts to make as little impact on it as it seemingly falls apart. The essentially turn the waste from coffee farming into caffeinated drinks. In addition to that they care about your bodies and have created an energy drink that it natural and not full of chemicals. To combine those two ideas I give it to you in their own words, “Imagine if Red Bull approached their products the way Patagonia approaches clothing. That’s us.” I can get behind that and I applaud them for their effort (they were also kind enough to send us a bunch of samples).

Everything is right on track here, well except the flavor. It is not gross, but it certainly is different and that all comes down to the cascara (coffeefruit). The base tastes like a coffee/plant hybrid. I’m pretty sure it will give new comers pause when they first try it. Mix that in with some lemon, maple, and salt and things get even stranger. The good news is that the more you drink the better it becomes. As with many new things, there is a learning curve here. Each of the six ingredients are present in the flavor and it’s an odd mixing, but one that I think people can grow to enjoy.

Website
http://https://nomadtrading.co/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Maple Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 21st, 2018
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Rockstar Xdurance Energy Ripped Red

Rockstar Xdurance Energy Ripped Red

I am not the raging human I once was. There was a time in my life where I would leave for a trip to Toronto at 9PM, get there, hang out for hours, get back in my car and drive the 1:30/2:00 home and arrive in my driveway around 5am. I was perfectly fine doing that. In fact it seemed like a completely reasonable thing to do, and I did it without the help of caffeine or any other upper. It would just be Mike, myself and what we would consider to be good music playing way too loud. These days, leaving at 6 on a December evening feels like I should just be crawling into bed and it is a complete chore. I knew there was no way I would make it back alive without some help, so on the way to the border I stopped at a gas station and picked this up. As proven by me writing this, it works. It more than works. There were no yawns. No heavy eyes. No problems whatsoever. Just complete alertness (to a detrimental effect as I couldn’t fall asleep once I made it home 6 hours after drinking this.

While there is no problem with the functionality of this beverage, the taste leaves something to be desired. I know it’s my fault, expecting something sweetened with sucralose to taste anything but chemical, but I keep hoping a company will crack the code that will hide that gross flavor. Ripped Red is a fruit punch of sorts that seems to be a mixture of cherry, strawberry, and cranberry; a strange, but interesting mix. I think I actually want more strawberry cranberry hybrid drinks. It’s sweet and tastes like a Wonka candy that I wished existed. It’s just too bad that it’s all hidden under a fog of diet. Still I keep buying the low calorie energy drinks when I need them to ensure I don’t pack on the pounds as I get older. No one wants a chunky Jay.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 12th, 2018
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Bang Purple Guava Pear

Bang Purple Guava Pear

As soon as this washed over my taste buds I thought to myself, “This is the best tasting energy drink of all time.” Less than a second later the sucralose hit me and all of that was out the window. Yes, I know that high sugar energy drinks cause you to have the dreaded crash, where you just want to slump around. It’s just unfortunate that they taste so much better (well up to an extent that they become way too sweet). There is a balance that needs to be formed and I can say for certain that sucralose is not the answer. This beverage could be the poster child for that movement. It could be perfect, but after a few sips you taste more sucralose than anything else, and what is the point of that? In a perfect world that wonderfully fruity guava flavor that greeted me would be accompanied by the slightest amount of cane sugar that would amplify it and not distract from it as the current sweetener is doing. There is a little pear flavor in here, but it is also lost in the mix. This has the potential to be wonderful, but it falls short. Bang wants us to be(somewhat) healthier, and I applaud them for that, but there just has to be another way to do it.

Website
http://www.vpxsports.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 10th, 2018
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Monster Juice Pacific Punch

Monster Juice Pacific Punch

Sometimes I like to go into drinks blind and see if what I anticipate is what the beverage actually is without reading the description or ingredients on the can/bottle. With a name like Pacific Punch and the sailor flash art on the can I fully expected this to be some play on a pina colada. That sort of art just makes me think rum, and while I know it’s in other adult cocktails, I always think of the beverage made famous by an absolutely horrible song. I apparently purchased a one way trip to Wrongoville, because this is a wonderfully delicious tropical punch. It is a mix of orange, apple, raspberry, guava, cherry, pineapple and passionfruit. It’s a collection of wonderful all mixed together into a sum of its parts that is greater than the individual. It is clearly the taste o f a tropical Pacific island (even though half the ingredients are not tropical at all). If this is what was available to me, I would not mind being stranded on a desert island at all. No humanity, just delicious fruit juice? Yes please!

This really reminds me of something from my younger years, but I’m not exactly sure what. I want to say one of the original Sobe flavors (maybe the yellow), but it could be something else. It’s definitely something that I used to love though, and forgot that I was missing.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 17th, 2018
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Limitless Lightly Caffeinated Sparkling Water Blood Orange

Limitless Lightly Caffeinated Sparkling Water Blood Orange

This seemed interesting. At first glance I thought, “This would be something good to get me through a long work day. No sugar. No calories. It’s simply seltzer water with some caffeine added to it.” This had the potential to be a “healthy” morning beverage for those of us who do not drink coffee. Yes, the caffeine is derived from green coffee beans, but there is no coffee flavoring in here at all. In fact the downfall of this product is that there isn’t much flavoring at all. Before you start to argue that seltzer isn’t a very flavorful beverage by design, I very much know that, and I embrace the sparkling beverage for it. This can had minimal blood orange flavoring to it. It tasted more like a seltzer that had been left open for a long time and the flavor dissipated with the bubbles (this was still carbonated though). The natural caffeine also added a little bit of flavor around the edges, which I could have done without. Overall this was fairly bland and that is from someone who drinks seltzer, water, and unsweetened tea all day.

Website
http://limitlesscoffee.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Energy Drink, Sparkling, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 18th, 2018
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Red Bull Sugar Free The Lime Edition

Red Bull Sugar Free The Lime Edition

So picture this, I’m at the gym, attempting to improve my mental health and lost some of the vanilla pudding that has formed on my human frame as I have aged nearly into my fourth decade on this planet. I had just finished running a few miles on the treadmill and then began to use the weight lifting machines, when I notice that there are a pair of women walking around the gym with cooler backpacks handing out cans of Red Bull to people as they work out. First off, that is jut weird and kind of not acceptable. To me the gym is a place that you do not interact with people unless you are asking them if they are finished with a machine, or you are calling them out for being a creep and checking out other human people in their sweaty state. Secondly, you can bet your ass that as soon as I was done with a set of reps I approached them before they could approach me and I got a can from them. The interaction was inevitable, so I was proactive about it to get it over and of course I was going to take a free sample.

We have really slacked on Red Bull reviews because I had heard some unsavory things about the people who run the company, which ended up being not accurate upon doing some research. I was glad to give the newer flavors a try, especially when it was free. This though, was not what I wanted. I actually prefer the sugar free Red Bull to the original variety, and I was hoping this would go the same route. Unfortunately that was not the case. This is supposed to be limeade, but it was not like they added lime to a normal diet Red Bull. Instead it’s a new beast that just tastes like a tiny bit of lime mixed in with a whole lot of sucralose grossness. Here are my parting words for the company; Just add flavoring to your original base products for these “new” flavors, and teach your representatives what appropriate venues to hand out samples are. The way things are going I can only assume after the gym they were heading to a funeral to pass out samples.

Website
http://www.redbull.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 10th, 2018
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CannaHemp Premium Energy Drink Original

CannaHemp Premium Energy Drink Original

Well, we have this new energy drink that we need to name that is made out of cannabis. Oh wait let’s use the word hemp instead. I feel like that won’t be so obvious for all of the suburban moms that like to complain about everything. Holy…stop the presses, I have it! What are we serving these in? That’s right, cans. It’s a can of hemp, but to go back to our original word cannabis, we can have some wacky word play and go with Cannahemp. Sure, we may have to deal with more uptight people, but that is a pun that is too good to pass up. Now it’s me, the reviewer breaking the 4th wall. Yes I made fun of the name, but honestly it’s great. It is clever in a goofy way that I love and I support it. Also, anyone who wants to complain about hemp use in a thing like this is a moron. Of course something sold in a mass market that you don’t need a prescription, or a “weed card” for is not going to contain THC and you are not going to get high from it. So you can calm down and if any of you youngsters out there have friends who drink this and they say it gets you high, let it play out so that they do some dumb stuff that they think is what being high is and then after a bit call them out and embarrass their lying asses.

This is not the first hemp/cannabis beverage that I have partaken in. Most of them tastes kind of like rope, except for the one I had from Canna Energy, which I believe is the old branding of this company, if the logo is any indication. Reading back on that review I found it to be pretty gross. If it is the same company they have either reformulated, or something was wrong with that original can I had. This does not taste spoiled, but it also does not taste like rope. It tastes like a very sweet green candy that is perhaps a mix between a green apple Jolly Rancher and some other green Wonka-esque confection. It is not my favorite, but I am also not grossed out by it. It gave me the energy I was searching for and I was easily able to get it down without complaining. That’s a win in my books. There is still some room for improvement, but it’s better than my last dalliance with the beverage.

Website
http://https://cannagetsome.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 21st, 2018
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Monster Mutant White Lightning

Monster Mutant White Lightning

Monster apparently decided to dip its toe into the world of caffeinated sodas and I’m pretty sure we all missed it. The only time I have ever come across this in the wild has been in discount or discontinued sections. My reasoning for this is that Monster themselves helped to make such products obsolete. Energy drinks are so common place now that I can’t even tell you the last time I heard someone say that they were getting sleepy so they needed some caffeine and then have them grab a Mountain Dew. To be fair it seems like that particular company is doing just fine, but I believe that is because they are an institution and there is an extreme culture based around it. Even they have branched out into actual energy drinks though with Amp. I’m sure there are kids out there who I really hope aren’t drinking energy drinks, which would down bottle after bottle of this on sleepovers or video game binges. The sad thing is that it’s no longer out of the ordinary to see young teens downing cans of Monster, and yes, it always seems to be Monster with children.

As for the flavor is this, White Lightning is apparently code for really diet tasting. It reminds me of a diet version of Frosh by Faygo. I haven’t had that in probably 30 years so I could be way off, but that’s what my brain is putting together. It’s kind of citrus, but really just diet.

I just looked up the Mutant website and did a product search and apparently every 711 everywhere carries these, so perhaps I was wrong and it was financially sound for them to put out this product. Fans of mini marts everywhere just may be celebrating this as they sit on the curb with their nachos and chili dogs. I may in fact be that out of touch and perhaps we should just hang out Thirsty Dudes.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink, Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 17th, 2018
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Amp Organic Energy Drink Grape

Amp Organic Energy Drink Grape

Let’s begin by looking past the fact that this is an energy drink and all that entails and the flavors that brings to your mind. Instead, let us concentrate on the fact that this is an organic beverage, an organic grape beverage at that, yet nowhere on the shockingly short ingredients list (five items) is grape juice, or anything grape listed. The flavor falls under the category “natural flavor.” I’m guessing that natural flavor is in fact grape juice as it tastes more like sparkling juice than grape soda, but that leaves me concerned about what other things can fall under that header and make it to market. “Natural” can entail a wide variety of things. I’m not saying there is anything nefarious going on here, but it makes me uneasy what companies can feed us without us knowing.

Anyway, as I said it tastes more like sparkling grape juice than soda and tastes nothing like a typical energy drink. It’s just sparking juice, with unnecessary sugar added and caffeine thrown into the mix. It’s not going to make you crazy, but it will give you a little boost and a whole lot of sugar (44g).

Website
http://www.ampenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 30th, 2018
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