Energy Drink (556 reviews)

Red Bull Sugar Free The Lime Edition

Red Bull Sugar Free The Lime Edition

So picture this, I’m at the gym, attempting to improve my mental health and lost some of the vanilla pudding that has formed on my human frame as I have aged nearly into my fourth decade on this planet. I had just finished running a few miles on the treadmill and then began to use the weight lifting machines, when I notice that there are a pair of women walking around the gym with cooler backpacks handing out cans of Red Bull to people as they work out. First off, that is jut weird and kind of not acceptable. To me the gym is a place that you do not interact with people unless you are asking them if they are finished with a machine, or you are calling them out for being a creep and checking out other human people in their sweaty state. Secondly, you can bet your ass that as soon as I was done with a set of reps I approached them before they could approach me and I got a can from them. The interaction was inevitable, so I was proactive about it to get it over and of course I was going to take a free sample.

We have really slacked on Red Bull reviews because I had heard some unsavory things about the people who run the company, which ended up being not accurate upon doing some research. I was glad to give the newer flavors a try, especially when it was free. This though, was not what I wanted. I actually prefer the sugar free Red Bull to the original variety, and I was hoping this would go the same route. Unfortunately that was not the case. This is supposed to be limeade, but it was not like they added lime to a normal diet Red Bull. Instead it’s a new beast that just tastes like a tiny bit of lime mixed in with a whole lot of sucralose grossness. Here are my parting words for the company; Just add flavoring to your original base products for these “new” flavors, and teach your representatives what appropriate venues to hand out samples are. The way things are going I can only assume after the gym they were heading to a funeral to pass out samples.

Website
http://www.redbull.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week ago
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CannaHemp Premium Energy Drink Original

CannaHemp Premium Energy Drink Original

Well, we have this new energy drink that we need to name that is made out of cannabis. Oh wait let’s use the word hemp instead. I feel like that won’t be so obvious for all of the suburban moms that like to complain about everything. Holy…stop the presses, I have it! What are we serving these in? That’s right, cans. It’s a can of hemp, but to go back to our original word cannabis, we can have some wacky word play and go with Cannahemp. Sure, we may have to deal with more uptight people, but that is a pun that is too good to pass up. Now it’s me, the reviewer breaking the 4th wall. Yes I made fun of the name, but honestly it’s great. It is clever in a goofy way that I love and I support it. Also, anyone who wants to complain about hemp use in a thing like this is a moron. Of course something sold in a mass market that you don’t need a prescription, or a “weed card” for is not going to contain THC and you are not going to get high from it. So you can calm down and if any of you youngsters out there have friends who drink this and they say it gets you high, let it play out so that they do some dumb stuff that they think is what being high is and then after a bit call them out and embarrass their lying asses.

This is not the first hemp/cannabis beverage that I have partaken in. Most of them tastes kind of like rope, except for the one I had from Canna Energy, which I believe is the old branding of this company, if the logo is any indication. Reading back on that review I found it to be pretty gross. If it is the same company they have either reformulated, or something was wrong with that original can I had. This does not taste spoiled, but it also does not taste like rope. It tastes like a very sweet green candy that is perhaps a mix between a green apple Jolly Rancher and some other green Wonka-esque confection. It is not my favorite, but I am also not grossed out by it. It gave me the energy I was searching for and I was easily able to get it down without complaining. That’s a win in my books. There is still some room for improvement, but it’s better than my last dalliance with the beverage.

Website
http://https://cannagetsome.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 21st, 2018
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Monster Mutant White Lightning

Monster Mutant White Lightning

Monster apparently decided to dip its toe into the world of caffeinated sodas and I’m pretty sure we all missed it. The only time I have ever come across this in the wild has been in discount or discontinued sections. My reasoning for this is that Monster themselves helped to make such products obsolete. Energy drinks are so common place now that I can’t even tell you the last time I heard someone say that they were getting sleepy so they needed some caffeine and then have them grab a Mountain Dew. To be fair it seems like that particular company is doing just fine, but I believe that is because they are an institution and there is an extreme culture based around it. Even they have branched out into actual energy drinks though with Amp. I’m sure there are kids out there who I really hope aren’t drinking energy drinks, which would down bottle after bottle of this on sleepovers or video game binges. The sad thing is that it’s no longer out of the ordinary to see young teens downing cans of Monster, and yes, it always seems to be Monster with children.

As for the flavor is this, White Lightning is apparently code for really diet tasting. It reminds me of a diet version of Frosh by Faygo. I haven’t had that in probably 30 years so I could be way off, but that’s what my brain is putting together. It’s kind of citrus, but really just diet.

I just looked up the Mutant website and did a product search and apparently every 711 everywhere carries these, so perhaps I was wrong and it was financially sound for them to put out this product. Fans of mini marts everywhere just may be celebrating this as they sit on the curb with their nachos and chili dogs. I may in fact be that out of touch and perhaps we should just hang out Thirsty Dudes.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink, Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 17th, 2018
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Amp Organic Energy Drink Grape

Amp Organic Energy Drink Grape

Let’s begin by looking past the fact that this is an energy drink and all that entails and the flavors that brings to your mind. Instead, let us concentrate on the fact that this is an organic beverage, an organic grape beverage at that, yet nowhere on the shockingly short ingredients list (five items) is grape juice, or anything grape listed. The flavor falls under the category “natural flavor.” I’m guessing that natural flavor is in fact grape juice as it tastes more like sparkling juice than grape soda, but that leaves me concerned about what other things can fall under that header and make it to market. “Natural” can entail a wide variety of things. I’m not saying there is anything nefarious going on here, but it makes me uneasy what companies can feed us without us knowing.

Anyway, as I said it tastes more like sparkling grape juice than soda and tastes nothing like a typical energy drink. It’s just sparking juice, with unnecessary sugar added and caffeine thrown into the mix. It’s not going to make you crazy, but it will give you a little boost and a whole lot of sugar (44g).

Website
http://www.ampenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 30th, 2018
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Runa Clean Energy Lime

Runa Clean Energy Lime

Normally I am on board with guayusa. It’s a natural source of caffeine that I don’t need to feel terrible about consuming. Sure, it’s not my all-time favorite flavor, but it is by no means gross. It’s just its own unique flavor. Normally the other flavors mixed with it mask it a bunch, and everything works out great. In here I would say this is 80% guayusa and 20% lime. For my liking it definitely could have done with more lime. Lime is a flavor that can be as strong as possible and I wouldn’t complain. It’s very faint in here and it seems to make the guayusa shine a bit more. It was weirdly a bit plain, which I didn’t expect to use as a descriptor. I can imagine a world where this is what water tastes like and no one would bat an eye. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, but it doesn’t entice me to drink more.

Website
http://www.runa.org/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 18th, 2018
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Amp Organic Energy Drink Pineapple Coconut

Amp Organic Energy Drink Pineapple Coconut

All my life I thought I despised coconuts. As it turns out I just hate it in toasted form, and it has ruined many otherwise delicious desserts for me. Raw coconut and coconut water on the other hand are pretty tasty. Pina colada is a flavor that always eluded me. It sounded like, for those who liked coconut, it would be the ultimate tropical summer drink. Keep in mind these are the thoughts that came to me in my youth. Now that I am older and wiser I can say, ehhh it's not bad at all. I'll rather have a fruity tropical drink, but it does taste like sunny weather.

For all their energy drink promotion, and the association with Mountain Dew (I think they are trying to distance themselves from that) this really just tastes like a pina colada soda, and I am into it. It's very sweet, like your average soda, but there is no energy drink taste to it. The entire boost in here comes from organic caffeine, no other nonsense. I would drink this on a beach if I were ever kidnapped and forced to go to the beach during the day, which I believe is one of the circles of hell for someone as pale as I am. It’s summer. This is tasty. What are you waiting for?

Website
http://www.ampenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Coconut, Energy Drink
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 10th, 2018
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Monster Rehab White Dragon Tea

Monster Rehab White Dragon Tea

Hello, my name is Jason and I have an energy drink problem. It all started off with late night drives, and me grabbing a Red Bull or what have you to keep me awake. Then I was occasionally drinking them on long days of work to give me a push to make it to the end of the day. Before I knew it I loved the taste that I used to have to force myself through. I justified it to myself that it wasn’t a regular occurrence and they were special treats for me. Then the turning point came. Over the course of the past two months Big Lots was blowing out different energy drinks for $.50 and $.33 respectively. I stocked up using the old adage that I would be losing money if I didn’t. Then they were staring me in the face and instead of being a treat they became an every other day thing, now it seems it’s every day. I keep telling myself that it’s fine because the drinks I purchased got their energy from natural caffeine and vitamins, not weird chemicals. Now here I am and even though I drank one of my natural energy drinks a few hours ago I find myself in a gas station parking lot having purchased this Monster and I just don’t give a rip. I will now blame it on my puppy. Have you ever had a couple month old puppy, they are a handful and wake up at the crack of dawn. My rise and shine time has been moved up a few hours and I’m still going to bed at the same time. I’m tired all the time. Of course it’s not because I’m addicted to caffeine now (at least I hope). I’m just going to sit back and sip this can of deliciousness on this hot spring day.

I love these Rehab Monsters. Tea is one of my favorite beverages and mixing it with an energy drink, which I also apparently love now, is great. This has a combo of white and black tea in it, not too shabby. It also has a bunch of different fruit juices in it and that is where things get weird. This is supposed to be dragonfruit (or pitaya) flavored tea, but somewhere along the line the wires got crossed and it just tastes like lychee, which is somehow wonderful. I like dragon fruit, but the weird perfumey floral taste of this only makes me think of lychee. I’m guessing it has something to do with the white grape and dragon fruit comingling. I just hope other people enjoy this as much as I do so that it sticks around. Actually maybe it would be better for me if it bombs and this shows up at Big Lots for mere cents. I would instantly buy them all and then hit up the rest of the stores in an hour radius around me. Sorry Monster, but I have a new found addiction to feed and I might as well do it with your wonderful new flavor.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 10th, 2018
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Amp Organic Energy Drink Tropical Burst

Amp Organic Energy Drink Tropical Burst

Amp started off as Mountain Dew’s energy drink that was put out by Pepsico. The Dew logo may not be on the can anymore, but it’s the same formula and I’m sure extreme dudes and dudettes are the largest customer base of this product. My point is that since the original Amp was basically Mountain Dew infused with taurine and the like, it stands that this is some sort of organic Mountain Dew flavor and now the world no longer makes sense to me. Mountain Dew is pretty much the definition of junk food to me and the fact that there is an organic version (in some form) it has turned everything upside down for me.

The flavors in here are orange, mango, and passionfruit. They are all present, but in a strange Mountain Dew sort of way. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s like they made three separate Dews, one for each of the flavors and then mixed them together. There is also something about this that tastes vaguely diet, even though it’s chock full of sugar. At first I kind of dug the strangeness of it all, but the more I drank the worse it got. That could partially be due to the fact that I didn’t do the customary chugging of the can and it warmed up over time, but the quality of the flavor definitely decreased for me.

Website
http://www.ampenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 9th, 2018
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Monster Caffe Mocha

Monster Caffe Mocha

When I saw this, my first thought was, “Is this just a repackaging of the Monster Java line?” After drinking it and doing a little bit of research I’m still not sure. Perhaps if I drank them back to back I could give you a more definitive answer, but as of now I can only say…maybe? This is chocolatey and very creamy. There is actual more milk in here that I would want. While I can get behind a latte, recently I prefer my coffee based beverages without cream. The chocolate in here is really nice though. It tastes like chocolate and not just chocolate flavor. Overall this tastes more like a frothy chocolate milk with a splash of coffee in it, rather than the other way around. All of the energy drink aspects of this are not present in the flavor at all. There is no chemical or liquid candy flavor at all.

I’m going to assume this is different than the Java line, because I still saw those in the cooler, and why would the store stock both? Perhaps the difference is this uses Arabica coffee. Who knows? It’s tasty and that’s all that matters to me.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 2nd, 2018
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Kapoya Energy Drink Mango Passion Fruit

Kapoya Energy Drink Mango Passion Fruit

The following things are generally bad news for beverage companies. 1. Your products are found at Big Lots at a discounted rate (Say, oh I dunno… 33 cents per can). 2. You make beverages and us here at Thirsty Dudes have never heard of your company, and we are not 100% sure how to pronounce its name. 3. Your social media presence seems to have dried up (perhaps you haven’t made a post in nearly two years). If all three of these things ring true, then it’s more than likely that the company has folded and that once the shelves are clear I will never hear a word about the company again. In this case it’s kind of a shame because for some reason that I cannot understand I do not hate this companies products. They are diet energy drinks that rely on the natural side of things to provide said energy. It’s all B vitamins and caffeine in here. They are proud of the fact that they do not use taurine, but the strange thing is that energy drinks that do contain that specific ingredient tend to be the ones that taste like melted candy. Even without it each of these flavors taste like a melted Free-Z-Pop. Since the demise of this company seems to have already occurred, I’m going to pull a first time move here on Thirsty Dudes and just write one review and use it for all of the flavors, because I don’t think this is going to be much help to anyone looking to try something new, unless they see it immediately and rush to Big Lots before the space is swapped out for another doomed product.

Blue Raspberry: It’s a diet version of a flavor that doesn’t really exist in nature. Blue raspberries aren’t a real thing, so why do so many companies use it as a flavor? If you are reading this, chances are you know exactly what this flavor tastes like. Now just make that diet and you have what’s in this can.
Mango Passionfruit: This is the flavor that is probably closest to the fruits it’s meant to impersonate. It is ridiculously sweet. While there is no sugar in here there are loads of sucralose. This is the flavor I thought I would enjoy the most and while it’s perfectly serviceable I enjoyed the last one the most.

Wild Grape: You know how grapes taste? Do you also know how grape flavored things taste? Well this falls on the latter side of the divide. I don’t know why I really enjoy the taste of fake grape. I mean I love the real thing too, but sometimes on a nice hot day I just want a mouthful of fake grape. Maybe it has something to do with a childhood memory. Who knows? All I know is I enjoyed this more than I expected to, even in all its diet glory.

Finally, I don’t know if Kapoya just missed the Stevia train, but I feel like had these used it as their zero calorie sweetener they may have been able to get away with labeling these as “all natural” and I’m sure that would have helped to move more units for more than $.33 each.

Website
http://kapoyaenergy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 24th, 2018
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