Jason Draper (2706 reviews)

Jason plays bass in Failures' Union and owns/operates a screen printing shoppe called Wooden T-Shirts. He also eats veggie dogs by the gallon.

Good Idea The Sweedish Sugar Buster Sparkling Lemon Lime

Good Idea The Sweedish Sugar Buster Sparkling Lemon Lime

Lemon lime is a pretty standard flavor that I’m sure most of us can do a memory recall for at any moment. Now flip that memory. No longer does the lemon have the wheel. In this beverage it’s the lime that is steering the ship and its terrified sidekick is screaming because lime is taking the corners way too fast on these mountains roads, and is that screaming it hears from the trunk? Yes, there is very obviously an extra passenger on this wild ride and it goes by the name Chromium Picolinate. It gives this “safe” flavor a little something underneath that just doesn’t taste quite right. In fact it might be this little stowaway that has gotten lime all amped up and wants it to be something it is not (along with being the factor that handles sugar spikes after meals). It’s a familiar taste that I can’t exactly pinpoint, but it sure is distracting. It falls somewhere between a diet taste and the flavor of fruit rind. I don’t’ get it, and I’m not a huge fan. Someone needs to get lime into a meeting so he can kick its habit and go back to be its regular awesome self.

Website
http://goodideadrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 day, 6 hours ago
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Purpose Purple Super Tea

Purpose Purple Super Tea

Grimace somehow broke free from the confines of McDonald land in order to create chaos on our world, you can be damn sure that the exhalted Purple One would make Purpose the official drink of his regime. A purple tea for a purple world, created in his image. Of course Grimace’s favorite musical artist is Prince, I mean who else could it be? In such a perfect world how could he not pass up the chance for the ultimate pun of naming the tea Purple Reign?

Before the big purple guy came to do what he does best in our world most people were unaware that purple tea even existed. Now that it is the only beverage that they are allowed to consume, they are grateful for just how delicious it actually is. It tastes like something in-between a black and a green tea. It has a nice tea bitterness to it. Nestea drinkers would probably hate that, but to me it is that which makes it taste like actual tea. Purpose lightly sweetens it with cane sugar, without going overboard. If a delicious taste wasn’t enough it is also ripe with antioxidants, specifically anthocyanins. You know, you have to keep the Purple leader in tip top health. All jokes aside this is just great. It’s a nice mellow tea that I could enjoy at any time, under any dictatorship.

Website
http://purposetea.com
Country
Purple Reign
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 4 days, 18 hours ago
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Monster Rehab White Dragon Tea

Monster Rehab White Dragon Tea

Hello, my name is Jason and I have an energy drink problem. It all started off with late night drives, and me grabbing a Red Bull or what have you to keep me awake. Then I was occasionally drinking them on long days of work to give me a push to make it to the end of the day. Before I knew it I loved the taste that I used to have to force myself through. I justified it to myself that it wasn’t a regular occurrence and they were special treats for me. Then the turning point came. Over the course of the past two months Big Lots was blowing out different energy drinks for $.50 and $.33 respectively. I stocked up using the old adage that I would be losing money if I didn’t. Then they were staring me in the face and instead of being a treat they became an every other day thing, now it seems it’s every day. I keep telling myself that it’s fine because the drinks I purchased got their energy from natural caffeine and vitamins, not weird chemicals. Now here I am and even though I drank one of my natural energy drinks a few hours ago I find myself in a gas station parking lot having purchased this Monster and I just don’t give a rip. I will now blame it on my puppy. Have you ever had a couple month old puppy, they are a handful and wake up at the crack of dawn. My rise and shine time has been moved up a few hours and I’m still going to bed at the same time. I’m tired all the time. Of course it’s not because I’m addicted to caffeine now (at least I hope). I’m just going to sit back and sip this can of deliciousness on this hot spring day.

I love these Rehab Monsters. Tea is one of my favorite beverages and mixing it with an energy drink, which I also apparently love now, is great. This has a combo of white and black tea in it, not too shabby. It also has a bunch of different fruit juices in it and that is where things get weird. This is supposed to be dragonfruit (or pitaya) flavored tea, but somewhere along the line the wires got crossed and it just tastes like lychee, which is somehow wonderful. I like dragon fruit, but the weird perfumey floral taste of this only makes me think of lychee. I’m guessing it has something to do with the white grape and dragon fruit comingling. I just hope other people enjoy this as much as I do so that it sticks around. Actually maybe it would be better for me if it bombs and this shows up at Big Lots for mere cents. I would instantly buy them all and then hit up the rest of the stores in an hour radius around me. Sorry Monster, but I have a new found addiction to feed and I might as well do it with your wonderful new flavor.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 4 days ago
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Amp Organic Energy Drink Tropical Burst

Amp Organic Energy Drink Tropical Burst

Amp started off as Mountain Dew’s energy drink that was put out by Pepsico. The Dew logo may not be on the can anymore, but it’s the same formula and I’m sure extreme dudes and dudettes are the largest customer base of this product. My point is that since the original Amp was basically Mountain Dew infused with taurine and the like, it stands that this is some sort of organic Mountain Dew flavor and now the world no longer makes sense to me. Mountain Dew is pretty much the definition of junk food to me and the fact that there is an organic version (in some form) it has turned everything upside down for me.

The flavors in here are orange, mango, and passionfruit. They are all present, but in a strange Mountain Dew sort of way. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s like they made three separate Dews, one for each of the flavors and then mixed them together. There is also something about this that tastes vaguely diet, even though it’s chock full of sugar. At first I kind of dug the strangeness of it all, but the more I drank the worse it got. That could partially be due to the fact that I didn’t do the customary chugging of the can and it warmed up over time, but the quality of the flavor definitely decreased for me.

Website
http://www.ampenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 5 days ago
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Good Idea The Sweedish Sugar Buster Sparkling Orange Mango

Good Idea The Sweedish Sugar Buster Sparkling Orange Mango

This beverage was developed to help those who have normal blood sugar levels handle the sugar spike after a meal. No disrespect meant to the company but is that really necessary? In my nearly 39 years of existence I don’t believe I have ever noticed such a thing happening to me. So, I guess if it does happen, it has zero effect on my life. Perhaps other people have a real problem with this, but if they do I am in the dark about it. The only times I ever hear the words blood, sugar and level in the same sentence is either talking about someone with diabetes, or someone is making an excuse for them acting like a jerk. Perhaps I live a sheltered life in this regard and there are millions of people out there who spike after eating and they have some adverse reaction. If those people are out there this compound of amino-acids and chromium that was developed in Sweden is here to help them out.

Since it’s sparkling and unsweetened this tastes like a nice seltzer with a little something extra around the edges. Mostly it just tastes like orange mango sparkling water. I’m enjoying it for the taste if not for the intended effects. Chromium Picolinate is the only ingredient listed that I have never heard of. It apparently has use in diabetes and is also used for weight loss. Here it is just meant to help control ones blood sugar. See I learn things from the beverage world that I would probably never encounter otherwise.

Website
http://goodideadrinks.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 6 days ago
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Protein2o Protein Infused Water Mixed Berry

Protein2o Protein Infused Water Mixed Berry

Welp, this should be a whole lotta grozzzz. Ingredients: water, whey protein isolate (milk), natural flavors, sucralose, dyes. So they have mixed together water, milk, a diet sweetener and “flavoring” (this contains 0% juice). That sounds horrendous, but luckily the end result isn’t too bad at all. It’s not creamy from the milk, it’s just a bit chalky, and the diet flavor is somewhat kept under wraps. A poor man’s explanation is that it is a protein based vitamin water, or so the taste would tell you, even though it contains no vitamins to speak of. I don’t hate it. I don’t love it. It’s simply there and it inoffensive, which is all I ask for sometimes. This is a beverage with an intended purpose and it fills that purpose swimmingly.

Website
http://www.drinkprotein2o.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucre
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 3 days ago
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Polar Seltzer Cucumber Melon

Polar Seltzer Cucumber Melon

For years one of the things I have wanted most out of the beverage world was a Polar cucumber seltzer. Sure some other companies made them to varying degrees of wonderfulness, but I really wanted it from Polar, so it would be readily available in large quantities and be inexpensive. This summer my dreams were finally answered, and I thought I was getting an added bonus with the melon tacked on. A nice cucumber honeydew (or cantaloupe) combination is hard to beat in my world. The thing is that Polar went with a different melon, one that never tastes right in any form other than eating the melon itself. This is an approximation of cucumber and watermelon. While the cucumber taste in here is spot on and wonderful, the watermelon has that inevitable Jolly Rancher flavor to it. I don’t know why it is impossible to capture the true flavor of watermelon but it plagues humanity. This is still good, due to the lack of sugar the fake watermelon flavor is passable. Next year, let’s step up the game Polar, how about going with one of the other melons I mentioned, or even just straight cucumber. I bet it would be a best seller (if not from sales to me alone). While you’re at it, how about putting the vanilla in cans as well? Or maybe a vanilla-pineapple mix-up. What this isn’t a pitch meeting? My bad,

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 3 days ago
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Monster Caffe Mocha

Monster Caffe Mocha

When I saw this, my first thought was, “Is this just a repackaging of the Monster Java line?” After drinking it and doing a little bit of research I’m still not sure. Perhaps if I drank them back to back I could give you a more definitive answer, but as of now I can only say…maybe? This is chocolatey and very creamy. There is actual more milk in here that I would want. While I can get behind a latte, recently I prefer my coffee based beverages without cream. The chocolate in here is really nice though. It tastes like chocolate and not just chocolate flavor. Overall this tastes more like a frothy chocolate milk with a splash of coffee in it, rather than the other way around. All of the energy drink aspects of this are not present in the flavor at all. There is no chemical or liquid candy flavor at all.

I’m going to assume this is different than the Java line, because I still saw those in the cooler, and why would the store stock both? Perhaps the difference is this uses Arabica coffee. Who knows? It’s tasty and that’s all that matters to me.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 5 days ago
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Bubbly Sparkling Water Grapefruit

Bubbly Sparkling Water Grapefruit

After trying the strawberry I had high hopes for the other Bubbly flavors. That one strength to its flavor that you don't find in every seltzer. This grapefruit one is a dime a dozen (or 99 cents a bottle). It tastes like every other grapefruit seltzer I have had in my time walking this planet. That's not a bad thing, but I was hoping for a bit more pizazz. I wanted to feel like I was eating breakfast at a cabin in the woods and for some reason I thought citrus was the proper food. I don't know why my brain associates those things. It is a weird place to live. This tastes like grapefruit, but not so much that it makes your face scrunch up that so badly want it to do.

Website
http://www.bubly.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 weeks, 1 day ago
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Polar Seltzer Raspberry Rose

Polar Seltzer Raspberry Rose

Summertime in Seltzerville in 2018 is very similar to that of last year. Most of the limited edition Polar flavors are slight twists on last year’s flavors, while others such as this Raspberry Rose have just been brought back in the same form for summer consumption. I have no idea how we did not review this one last year. I guess it was when Mike and I were in a slump and were just burned out with doing Thirsty Dudes. Whatever the reason we missed it, and we apologize.

I am a bit surprised that this is the only returning flavor, as it was probably my least favorite of the 2017 line (I drank far too much of the mango berry). This is essentially a unsweetened , non-alcoholic wine spritzer. It’s not something I would normally drink. It’s lighter in flavor than normal Polar flavors. It also has an undertone that I will attribute to the fake wine aspect. I don’t really know if that is true, because wine seems like the grossest thing to me. It just smells like rot to me. This isn’t really a beverage for me, but friends who tried this, who enjoy wine said that it’s pretty fantastic, so don’t take my word on anything.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 weeks, 4 days ago
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