Milkshake (37 reviews)

McDonalds Milk Shake Chocolate Shamrock Shake

McDonalds Milk Shake Chocolate Shamrock Shake

No one in the car? We can get away with something. A milkshake from McDonald's the perfect sneaky treat. I've been cooking fantastic meals from Blue Apron that take me between 45 minutes and an hour to make and I snuck out to get a milkshake. Not just any milkshake but a Shamrock Shake and not just any Shamrock Shake but a chocolate Shamrock Shake. I get it and it looks 50% great. There is a little whipped cream with a cherry and some green, festive, seasonal sparkley sprinkles. Then we get to the meat of the shake...pause for dramatic effect.

Why is this layered? Why is this layered like this? I mean, they came out with a cool straw that was made to drink from two points at a time. What happens if you have a regular straw? It's not a chocolate Shamrock Shake as much as it is a half chocolate and half Shamrock shake. Unless you mix them up yourself, which I didn't, you have to drink through each flavor. I just thought that was strange and wrong. Like when my brother wore seven pairs of underwear at a time so that he could take off the outside pair and not have to put on new underwear for a week. Pause for applause...

Website
http://www.mcdonalds.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Milkshake
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 2nd, 2017
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Nutrisystem Nutricrush Chocolate Shake Mix

Nutrisystem Nutricrush Chocolate Shake Mix

Round two of the 2017 Shake It Off Challenge has begun, and I have to say I think we have a contender on our hands. Nutrisystem is a long running company and they have had that time to perfect the “diet’ shake powder. This is downright delicious. This is the kind of thing that would make dieting easy. I’m not even on a diet and I want to drink these all of the time because it tastes great and there is no guilt in consuming it. What other chocolate beverage can say that?

It is ridiculously creamy and it tastes like decent chocolate, not like garbage chocolate that you would swear is actually more plastic than food. There is some stevia and monk fruit extract in here as well as fructose to sweeten it, but none of them interfere with the chocolate taste. That is a feat onto itself. The numbers for this are less than the Wonderslim. It has 13g of sugar with 150 calories, but with this you will recognize the names of more of the ingredients, and you can’t argue with that flavor. I personally feel much better drinking this than the competitor.

We have one more contestant in this game. Will Nutrisystem remain on top, or will they be ousted? Only time will tell.

Website
http://www.nutrisystem.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Diet, Milkshake, Mix/Concentrate
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 17th, 2017
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Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Twix

Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Twix

Twix, a cookie not a candy bar, is a wonderful cookie not a candy bar. Carmel, crunch, caramel and chocolate. If we're talking about "The Four C's," screw diamonds, dude. Twix is where it's at. How is this though? Sweet. I don't even know after all these years if there is any coffee in iced cappuccino, or as we in Western New York like to call them, "Iced Capps," anymore. They might be but it's so overpowered by sugar and cream and now cookie crumbles that what's the point anymore. This small was more than enough. There was probably the amount of a "fun size" Twix grinded up on the top which was fun to get through the straw at the end. The rest was just a sugary blur of cookie flavors and brown. I say that like it's a bad thing. Look, if you're the type of person to buy an iced cappuccino, you know what you're getting into and you know what you're doing to yourself. I'm not going to say it, but deep down you know what you're up to.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee, Milkshake
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 17th, 2016
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Sneakz Strawberry Milkshake

Sneakz Strawberry Milkshake

For the life of me I have no idea why they have labeled this a milkshake. It’s not thick. There is no ice cream involved. It’s really just strawberry milk…with a bunch of veggies added. To be clear they are veggies that you also cannot taste. They are hidden nicely in the mix. Also to be clear, this doesn’t taste like Strawberry Quik either. It’s a different beast that is close, but not quite the same. It really just tastes like what I imagine people thought strawberry milk tasted like before Quik was invented. Did it even exist before then though? Is this a chicken/egg or a music/misery type situation? I guess it doesn’t matter. This tastes pretty good and you’re getting some vitamins from veggies. Kids will love it.

Website
http://www.sneakz.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 25th, 2016
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Sneakz Vanilla Milkshake

Sneakz Vanilla Milkshake

A couple of years ago when Sneakz was launched, it was less than stellar. The vegetable taste seeped through too much and when mixed with chocolate it was like someone used Hershey syrup as salad dressing. The company realized the error of their ways and corrected their formula into something that was more than just passable. They also expanded their line to include strawberry and this vanilla.
I’m assuming they used the same basic principles they developed for the new chocolate version and applied them to vanilla because I don’t taste vegetables in here at all. This is full of carrots, sweet potatoes, spinach and cauliflower but you would never know it by taking a sip. It’s all vanilla, but not in a cheap ice cream kind of way. It tastes like actually vanilla beans were used. You can’t ask for much more than that in a drink of this variety. You get ½ a serving of veggies and it tastes great. That’s a win all the way around.

Website
http://www.sneakz.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 10th, 2016
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Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Dark Chocolate

Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Dark Chocolate

There are some things that John wanted to do differently. One thing was more "liquid meals." No, not alcohol like when people say, "Hey. Want to get a liquid lunch?" Just to be able to drink more meals and more rapidly turn into vitamins and minerals versus wasting calories with traditional food. Look, John likes pizza and tacos as much as the next guy. He can't keep doing that every day, though. He needs to supplement. John loves chocolate so he figured what better way to replace one meal that he loved with another flavor that he loved?

He bought a case of the Organic Valley Dark Chocolate protein shake and just started replacing. Day after day, meal after meal he found himself enjoying life more and more. He had more time to spend with friends since a meal now took him five minutes versus the hour it took him before. His bosses noticed his dedication and gave him a little raise. Everyone at work saw him as a hard worker and gave him the respect he deserved. He enjoyed the taste. It wasn't chalky like some other protein drinks he's had in the past. It's dark chocolate but just barely.

John has gotten what he wanted and more. He really stuck to it and learned a few things; You spend a lot of your life thinking about food and eating and Janet in accounting eats subs every day of the week and still looks fine.

Website
http://www.organicvalley.coop/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Unrefined Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 23rd, 2016
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Organic Valley Organic Balance, Dark Chocolate, 11 Ounce (Pack of 4)

Tim Horton's Creamy Chocolate Chill

Tim Horton's Creamy Chocolate Chill

I'm pretty sure this is the same as the Frozen Hot Chocolate but I will pretend that drink doesn't exist so I can review this limited time, Toronto based drink that I found.

This is basically a totally chocolate Iced Capp. Where there is some vague and minimal amount of coffee included in those, this is straight chocolate, son. Chocolate whipped cream and chocolate drizzlin’s make this one Chocolageddon of a drink.

This drink isn't smooth, really. Not until you do all the work and blend the whippin’s with the base and get something that is pretty smooth. Take note, Tim. That should be how this is done.

While I spend time with my dumb family in Toronto, I will be sure not to look back at this decision I made. Was it bad? No. It was guiltily delicious. It's like that time you were sixteen and J.O.'d like nine times. It was great but not really something you're proud of.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Milkshake
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 3rd, 2015
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Burger King Oreo Shake Red Velvet

Burger King Oreo Shake Red Velvet

This is dumb, this whole thing. An Oreo milkshake is fine but I have this unrelenting anger towards red velvet because everyone's got such a boner for it. It's so dumb. Look, I went into this thing not really wanting it but getting it "for the site." I walk in and a dude is nickel and diming the cashier about something. I'm in the line and a dude is laughing because he asked for a cup and the lady said he could have water. Dude thought it was the funniest thing he's ever heard. Enjoy losing your legs due to "the sugar." Ten seconds later, that same dude is swearing at his girlfriend to go faster. The "best" thing that happened is that a boy, thirteen, ran in, sat next to me, took some fries off my tray and then proceeded to scream when his mom tried to get him to leave. She was a total saint and he was apparently mentally handicapped.

At the end of all that, I've got this dumb, pink milkshake that may or may not be a vanilla milkshake with red food coloring in it staring back at me. It's an Oreo milkshake. It was fine. It was nothing spectacular and if it hadn't been for this entire experience, AKA "the worst time I've ever had at Burger King" I might not have reviewed it at all. I hate you, red velvet.

Website
http://www.bk.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Milkshake
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 23rd, 2015
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Yazoo Strawberry

Yazoo Strawberry

A. Excuse me. Yes, umm I don’t mean to interrupt you but could you please tell me what they delightful pink beverage you are drinking is? I am from another country and I would love to try the local delicacies. You see I am a bit of a foodie and would love to try some of this.

B. This is a Yazoo.

A. Ohh, that sounds exotic! Is it infused with rose petals? Oh, oh is it some sort of exotic fruit that only grows locally?

B. It is flavored milk. It tastes like Strawberry Quik dude!

Website
http://yazoo.co.uk/
Country
United Kingdom
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 2nd, 2014
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Tim Horton's Frozen Hot Chocolate

Tim Horton's Frozen Hot Chocolate

Frozen hot chocolate is a real "stickin' it to the man" drink. It's as if Tim Horton's is saying, "Screw you, winter. You've pestered us long enough. Now look what we've done to your precious cold weather staple drink. How does that feel? Not good, right? Yeah. Now you know how we felt after your sub-zero temperatures. This is for all the times I had to scrape ice off my car windows while the temperature was in the negatives."

This drink is the eye-for-an-eye that you see in movies where the bad guy has at the good guy's partner and then, at the end, the good guy turns the tables and has a little fun with the bad guy until the cops come. The cops come, know the whole situation, pretend not to see the good guy hit the bad guy's hand with a hammer and then tells the good guy to hit the road and takes the bad guy off to jail.

I have to be honest here; I've already had two of these. They're that good. It's super creamy because they put half a pound of rich, chocolate whipped cream on top, which ends up melding in with the frosty treat beneath and smoothing the whole thing out. If you could envision what a chocolate mousse drink would taste like, this is it. They also put what they probably call "fudge" in it but is really only chocolate syrup. I'm not dismissing their efforts, but that's not fudge. Either way, everything mixed together or intentionally separated upon ordering is a delight that could be anyone's guilty pleasure because it's abominably terrible for you but seriously, you couldn't guess that something with a mound of rich chocolate whipped cream on it is going to be bad for you? Shame on you.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Milkshake
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 1st, 2014
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