Milkshake (11 reviews)
Neilson French Vanilla
Living in Alaska is hard work. Sure, you've got a Between The Buried And Me record named after you, but aside from that it's snow. Year in. Year out. Day in. Day out. Snow. There is a little time you can see the green grass, but it's probably muddy. You never know the pleasure of not wearing a coat or shorts unless you have irresponsible parents. One thing that you "earn" is the ability to crave ice cream. Most people have warm weather that needs cool treats to make the temperature bearable. You have cold year round, so there is no better time than now for ice cream. Honestly, you might eat ice cream to warm you up on certain days.
If you live in the frigid parts of Canada and can identify with the previously mentioned sentiments, go to your local shoppe and buy this cool milkshake. French vanilla is an ice cream that I don't really care about unless there are fun fixins on it like fudge, jimmies, and a cherry. If you like the plain vanilla then this drink is right up your alley. Look, we can't get high quality milkshakes everywhere all the time. Sometimes we need to get off our high horse, or in your case, your average sized snowmobile that is probably pretty bitchin' and drink this "everyman's" milkshake. It's thick. It's sweet. It tastes remarkably like french vanilla. It's frothy and is nice to shake and shake and shake after every sip.
Alaska might be a nice place. I might like it. Northern Canada might be a nice place. I have dealt with enough cold to not have to subject myself to more of it. I recommend people in these two places take a little vacation to somewhere with sun where they can shed their coats, pants, and extra socks. Feel the sand between your pale, white toes. Let the sun hit your hatted head.
- Website
- http://www.saputo.com
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 2 weeks, 5 days ago
McDonalds McCafe Shake Strawberry
"They're on to us." the CEO said. "They know what we've been doing all these years and are questioning our previous practices." "Why don't you just put something else out that will make it seem like your heart is in the right place and that you respect your customers?" said the drive through attendant who had only been working at the company for eight days and somehow managed to get a hold of the CEO of a major, multinational company. "That's a brilliant idea! What do you think we should make?" said the CEO, for the first time in a decade, with hope in his eyes. "I'm not sure. Why don't you upgrade the restaurants? Make them look a little more modern." suggested the pimpled attendant. "Eh, we've done that not too long ago. I guess we can put a little bit of lipstick on it but we need something simpler. Something approachable. Something like a menu item." suggested the CEO. "Hmm, what about a new milkshake? One with better ingredients. Some real ice cream and people love coffee with whipped cream, how about that. Oh, and get this, for the cherry on top? A cherry on top!" exclaimed the awkward teenage worker. "I love it." said the CEO. "Make one up for me and we'll see if we can use it."
The employee whipped together a strawberry milkshake, swirled in some fresh ice cream and chocolate syrup in there, put a nice, unhealthy dollop of whipped cream on top, and put a cherry on the top, as promised. "Here you go." said the employee happier than when he got a B+ on his physics test the day before. "Oh my gosh. Son, this is great. You can taste the ice cream and the classic strawberry taste and the whipped cream and cherry is really a "cost is no object" touch to it. What did you say your name was, because I'm appending the prefix "Manager" to whatever it is. What do you think about that?" beamed the CEO. "I love it, said the newly appointed manger. When do I start?" said the employee. "Right now! Take that dumb visor off and put this manager cap on. Enjoy your pay increase, your 401K, and your retirement and stock options packages. Today, you did well. Thank you for your help in saving this company with a milkshake."
- Website
- http://www.mcdonalds.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/18/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
McDonalds McCafe Shake Chocolate
Do you remember when your parents used to take you to McDonald's and it was an event? I do. I remember the sights and sounds and smells of it. I don't know if it's because we didn't really ever go or because the whole family would get in the car and we'd drive there and go together. Hamburger, cheeseburger, or McNugget. That's all we would get. Their menu now is very elaborate but their staples, albeit terribly unhealthy now that we know what "good food" is, are still there and still guiltily delicious once every six months.
That's about the frequency that I go to McDonald's. Once every six months. Yeah, sometimes I go through the drive through to get a sweet tea, but that's not really considered a trip.
Today my girlfriend and I went to get some nuggets and we decided to try their McCafe shakes. We got a strawberry (review coming soon) and a chocolate (where you are now). It's simple; take a regular McDonald's shake, whip in some whipped cream, add more whipped cream, and put a cherry on top. It tastes more like a frozen yogurt or a half melted ice cream than a shake. McDonald's has this thing where they make the shakes so hard to get through a straw that by the time you are finished with one, your cheeks look like they've been put through as much stress as Louie Armstrong's did in his entire career. It was very creamy and not too sweet and the additional whipped cream made it even smoother once you drank half of it and everything kind of mixed together.
It is a nice alternative to a classic shake and although it could never replace the standard, it isn't that far from it where it feel like cheating, like if you were dating a sister and she had a twin and you kissed on her a little bit. It's close enough that no one can blame you. That's how it works, right?
- Website
- http://www.mcdonalds.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/10/2011
Cadbury Caramilk Caramel Chocolate Milkshake
Greg's got a sweet tooth. I love it. I drink a lot of drinks with sugar in it, but it's never sweet enough. Rumor has it, and you could probably ask to confirm, that he once lined up Cadbury Creme Eggs and ate three, one after another. He was the person I had in mind when I brought this drink in. I have been holding on to it for just the right time and today, this dreary, spring day.
I gave it to Greg to try first and with the blink of an eye, half of the bottle was gone. He must have been jonesing for something sweet. I did mention that I brought something in for him, and when I presented him with this, his little mouth probably started working. He had a good "woah" face on when he tried it, which means that it's good. I gave it a whirl, liked it a lot, gave it to Zack to try and he said that it tastes like "liquid Rolo's" which I don't think that I could top in a description, so I won't.
I let Greg finish the rest of the bottle, which he promptly and swiftly did. I think he liked it, and I think that he thinks that you would, too. Take a trip north to Canada, get a little bottle, and share it with your friends because it's got a heart-stopping amount of calories for one person to commit to.
- Website
- http://www.cadbury.co.uk/
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 5/18/2011
- Comments
- 2 Comments. Leave a comment.
McDonalds Shamrock Shake
We normally don't review beverages that aren't already prepackaged. I made an official decision to make an exception for this review.
McDonald's is gross. I think everyone over the age of 10 knows that. Yet millions of people eat there daily. I don't get it. The last time I ate food from there was in 1995. I remember my friends wanted to go there after school and I got an order of fries. I can't even remember when I last ate one of their burgers. Even though I never eat the food, I still find myself sighing once a year as I walk through their doors. The Shamrock Shake is my weakness. Since I was a kid, I've been obsessed with them. As soon as winter looks like it might end, I get excited because I know this minty milkshake will be available soon.
I decided today that it was time for my yearly visit. On my way to the mall to pick up a birthday present for my lady-friend, and some jeans for myself, I made a pit stop to get a milkshake. The restaurant still looks and smells gross and the Shamrock Shakes are still wonderful. A nice thick vanilla milkshake with just the slightest bit of mint mixed in. It shouldn't be good, but it really is dreamy. They have also switched to a classier clear cup. Also, this year it comes with whipped cream and a cherry on top. Even better. If you want one, hurry up. They will only be available for a few more days.
- Website
- http://www.mcdonalds.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/16/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Cadbury Crispy Crunch
I'm American. I am probably a poor American for the following reasons:
1. I do not own a Bruce Springsteen record. Not my fault. I bought one and it was out of stock.
2. I do not drive a truck.
3. I do not drive an American car, although Mazda is partially owned by Ford so that's kind of close.
4. I am not a Christian, nor religious at all.
5. I am skinny.
I live on the border of the US and Canada. No, really. From where I am sitting, I can see Canada with ease. For this reason, I know what Coffee Crisp and Smarties are. I also know what a Crispy Crunch is. This does taste like a Crispy Crunch, but half of the fun is the crunch that you get from the candy bar itself. Also, who doesn't love to eat something like a Kit Kat over a nice, dark wood desk, love it, then look down and feel accomplished at the mess you've made. Just brush it on the floor. "The help" comes at night, like ninjas with mops. This isn't bad. It's beyond horrific for you, but it's good. It's just lacking what makes the candy bar good.
- Website
- http://www.cadbury.co.uk/
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/3/2011
Amazake Rice Shake Chocolate Almond
Imagine finding a Hershey's with Almonds chocolate bar in a box full of chalk. It would be a weird sight, wouldn't it? Now imagine eating the chocolate. It would still taste like chocolate, but the chalk taste would still be there with every bite.
That is exactly how this drink taste. I want to like it, I really do. But with every sip, the chalk taste just sits in the back of my mouth while the delicious chocolate taste lingers on my lips.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 2/10/2011
Atkins Advantage Mocha Latte
First of all, no I am not on a diet. Sometimes, people just have drinks that are common and I haven't had and they are nice enough to let me snap a shot of it and take a sip. All diet jokes aside; this is actually a pretty delicious drink. It smelled familiar and I couldn't place it. Then it hit me like a ton of chocolaty bricks. Cocoa Puffs. It smells like Cocoa Puffs and tastes 80% like Cocoa Puffs. The last 20% is a latte aftertaste that isn't undesirable. It's got a nice creamy head on it once you take the 10 mandatory seconds to shake it. Since it's so thick, the foam lasts a pretty good amount of time and is enjoyable throughout your drinking endeavor.
There is no sugar in this drink either, and the calorie count is 160, a lot less than many other dietary supplements. If you are on a diet, Atkins or not, this would be a good drink to try.
I'm glad I'm done with this review because I am just going to slam the rest of this sample I have.
- Website
- http://www.atkins.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Milkshake, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/10/2011
Bolthouse Farms Protein Plus Chocolate
I haven't eaten all day. It's quarter after twelve and I've been up for a good three hours. I would have slept in longer but between my dogs and my girlfriend calling me on my day off, I can't. I decided to take advantage of the day by:
- Cleaning up the backyard which was previously covered by snowy poop
- Strip some paint off the doors, which led to me taking the battery out of the smoke alarm and opening the doors to ventilate some smoke and fumes.
- Sit on the computer for an hour and wait for my company to come to a meeting which never started
All of this basically nothing led me to get a bit hungry. Since I didn't feel like making something to eat and there really isn't anything in the house to eat, I decided that today would be the day that I would test out a dietary supplement. Lucky for me, it was a delectable chocolaty treat.
I don't really like smoothies too much. All fruit ones are good, but once you start mixing things like carrots, beets, potatoes, and the like, it gets to be a little too much. When I saw that Bolthouse made a chocolate protein shake, I was intrigued and promptly bought it. Now it's been sitting in my fridge for about a month and I see it every time I open the door. I will say that this is a wonderful drink. It's super rich and smooth and doesn't at all taste like it has a ton of protein, vitamins, and minerals, but it's actually not that bad for you. Like many other Bolthouse drinks, there isn't additional sugar, just apple juice used as a sweetener, which is smart. It's really chocolaty and you could easily destroy the whole bottle and then probably feel a tad sluggish as you just ingested way too much.
Anyone who likes supplement drinks or protein shakes or someone who is on a diet and just wants to enjoy chocolate again, try this on for size.
- Website
- http://bolthouse.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/30/2010
- Comments
- 2 Comments. Leave a comment.
Amazake Rice Shake Tiger Chai
Whenever I see a new vegan milkshake, I feel the need to try it. I have never had a milkshake made with rice milk before, but when I saw this was chai flavored I had to try it. Sadly, it doesn't have a strong chai taste to it. It mostly taste like almonds and nutmeg. The consistency is really good, not too thin and not too thick. While I'm not crazy about this flavor, it shows promise for the other flavors Amazake offers.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Naturally Sweetened
- Categories
- Milkshake
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 10/4/2010