Evaporated Cane Juice (53 reviews)

Live Kombucha Soda Revive Root Beer

Live Kombucha Soda Revive Root Beer

Come on guys; why do you always have to be such jerks? I run to the corner store to get snacks for everyone and you’re all giggling. Obviously something went down while I was gone. I also have a strong sense of taste and after one sip it’s obvious that one, or more of you, dumped some beer into my root beer. That is so not cool. I know it’s a cheap soda, it’s not like it’s micro brewed or anything, but still it’s my drink and you know I hate beer. I mean it still tastes like the generic root beer it is, but now it also has that unmistakable spoiled taste of your cheap beer underneath the classic root beer flavor. It’s not the worst ever, I could still power through it, and someone who didn’t hate beer would probably think it was interesting and tasty.

Why is everyone laughing even harder now? You knew I would boast about my strong sense of taste and you took bets as to what I would say was in the drink? It’s beer, right? Oh it’s actually kombucha? So what you’re saying is that I’ve been drinking root beer mixed with fermented tea? I guess that’s not as bad, and you guys pulled a good one on me, but I still think it’s kind of gross. I stand by my statement of it tasting like beer. Actually, it tastes like old stale beer. Man, the more I think about how it tastes the less I can handle this. One of you jerks can finish this, and you owe me a new drink!

Website
http://livesodakombucha.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Iced Tea, Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 19th, 2014
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Vemma Bod•ē Vanilla Ice Cream

Vemma Bod•ē Vanilla Ice Cream

Okay, so last time I did one of these I followed directions to a T and mixed it with water. I wasn’t too pleased with the consistency that gave me, as it turned out a tad on the slimy side. This time I threw caution to the wind and mixed it with unsweetened almond milk. After spending far too long vigorously mixing this up, because I didn’t have the recommended shaker ball, I took a sip. Definitely less slimy, but it’s still so, so thick. I’m talking like baby food thick here folks. It does not have the consistency of something one would think of ingesting. It feels foreign in a from another world sort of way. It’s like aliens visited us, and said, “Hey dummies, you’re doing food wrong. This is much simpler. It’s thick and weird, but it gives you what you need in less time with less fuss.” Stupid jerk aliens are always pointing out our shortcomings.

Consistency aside, this has a nice light vanilla flavor. It doesn’t taste cheap, like a bunch of vanilla extract was dumped in. It tastes like quality vanilla, as if real beans were used. I can see where they are going with the ice cream tag. I appreciate that they are not trying to make a health shake taste exactly like an unhealthy thing. There’s some stevia in the mix, which you can taste a bit, but this is a drink for health and not leisure, so it’s understandable and acceptable.

It takes a few sips to get acclimated to, but once you get over the strange viscosity this is downright enjoyable for a meal replacement shake.

Website
http://www.vemma.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Diet, Mix/Concentrate, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 4th, 2014
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Zola Coconut Water Espresso

Zola Coconut Water Espresso

Look at you with your designer jeans and sunglasses that cost as much as a months rent. You are so cool, you and your fancy Italian loafers with matching tie and Spider Veloce. You're so cool. Well look at me. Sure I dress like I have for the last twenty years but I'm cool, too, right? I'm drinking two cool things; espresso and coconut water. Those are cool things, right? It's important to be cool. It's how we put ourselves on imaginary pedestals. This is good stuff, too. I might not have the finer things like those dope brown kid leather driving gloves that beautifully match your wooden steering wheel and stick shift. This drink though brother, this drink is smooth and only half tastes like coconut. The coffee isn't totally too strong like you might like it in your Italian mind with your glorious hair. Look, bro. I'll say it. I don't care. You've got great hair. Try this, dude. No, I'm'a call you "dude" right? You're talking to me and I'm going to talk to you like you're talking to me. This is a good drink. I don't know what kind of standards you are used to but seriously this is good. You know what? I'm done. No. I'm done with you. You and your beautiful tight fade and tight beard. Peace, bruh. You are an elitist. I'm trying to share with you and you're being a real jerk. Now I'm the elitist. Peace.

Website
http://zolaacai.com/
Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Coconut, Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 22nd, 2014
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Buy Now
Zola 100% Natural Coconut Water with Espresso, 17.5 Ounce (Pack of 12)

Taylor's Tonics Cranberry Dream

Taylor's Tonics Cranberry Dream

Cranberry sodas have existed before this. Companies were content with just adding some cranberry juice (or more likely a mixture that tasted vaguely like cranberry juice) to some carbonated water and sweeter. I’ve never had one that I disliked, but also never one that I would ever describe as great. Taylor’s Tonics are never ones to shy away from a challenge, and they set out to create a cranberry soda that is made from the stuff of dreams.

Why keep a soda simple, when there are so many ingredients out there to make it pop? There are things in the world like balsam fir needles, ginger, allspice, coconut water, cherry juice, extract of orange and a combination of Douglas fir and French vanilla flavors. These are the things that keep the beverage world interesting. When combined all of these things with the original three that other companies used created a beverage that I would most certainly describe as great, and perhaps even stupendous. The only problem is that somewhere along the way the drink started tasted more of a culmination of the extra ingredients (mostly allspice) and the flavor of the cranberry base got lost. While I do love the way this tastes, the boldness that is normally present when cranberry juice is in the mix is all but nonexistent. A simple name chance would lift all of that concern off of my shoulders, but Taylor does what Taylor wants.

I know what you’re thinking. No, this does not taste like you’re eating a Christmas tree. Actually it kind of does, but not in the way you’re thinking. It doesn’t taste like cleaner or pine. It does taste like the essence of Christmas though. If you took all of the good things about the holiday and threw them all in a blender, this is what it would taste like. This company has hit the nail on the head with their holiday four pack.

Website
http://www.taylorstonics.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 1st, 2013
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Taylor's Tonics Eggnog Fizz

Taylor's Tonics Eggnog Fizz

It's Thanksgiving and the holiday season is officially upon us. Celebrate this dreary time of your with us and a bottle of carbonated eggnog. You know you want to. If it helps any it's not thick and gross like real eggnog, it's more like a spicy cream soda.

Website
http://www.taylorstonics.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 28th, 2013
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Taylor's Tonics Candy Cane Shake

Taylor's Tonics Candy Cane Shake

Pastrami and hot mustard is a wonderful sandwich. It wasn't until I was an adult that I enjoyed the more "fancy" lunchmeats. All growing up I was filled to the brim with white bread and either bologna or salami. Now, as an adult, I can get "nicer" things like hot mustards, multi-grain bread, and the most erotic of all the salted meats.

One problem with this super mature sandwich is that it is pretty violent on your breath. What better way to combat the unfortunate effect of dangerously pungent sandwiches than to drink a pop that tastes like candy canes? Lucky for me, Jay bought me a bottle of this probably not knowing that I would use it as a temporary, mid-day toothpaste.

I was surprised that this tasted like a candy cane seltzer and when I read the ingredients, it was made with "sparkling water" and not whatever regular pop is made out of. You can taste that seltzery taste. The drink itself tastes like a candy cane but I didn't get much "shake" out of it. I thought it was going to taste like a peppermint cream soda, which would have been fine but Taylor's doesn't cop out like that. There is erythritol in the bottle, too, but you don't get any of the associated taste that accompanies it.

This was a smooth transition into Christmastime. A much smoother transition than every time I take my headphones off for the past two weeks the kid that works next to me is listening to Christmas music. He loves the stuff. We could never be gay lovers because I would straight murder him over it. Great dude. I would murder him.

Website
http://www.taylorstonics.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 15th, 2013
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Taylor's Tonics Gingerbread House Sparkler

Taylor's Tonics Gingerbread House Sparkler

Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s talk candles, shall we? Scented candles are wonderful and can make any living arrangement seem just a little nicer. I myself love to go candle shopping. While I can’t afford (read: don’t want to pay the crazy prices) for really nice candles, the way they smell is amazing. They tend to have a smell that you can taste, and that brings us to this soda. This drink ultimately tastes the way the highest quality gingerbread candle would smell (it smells just like them to boot). I don’t advise biting a candle to taste it, because what you get is simply not what your taste buds would expect from the scent. This though, this is exactly the flavor that I imagine those candles would have.

The bubbly liquid form of a gingerbread house tastes like a mixture of the cookies that are its namesake and chai. I’m not talking a weak chia that you made from some second rate teabag you got at the discount grocery store either. I’m talking real deal brewed from loose-leaf quality chai. It’s so strong to the extent that there is almost a burn from it. Knowing what this company has produced in the past, I expected a burn from the ginger, but instead I was greeted with a nice spicy harshness from the chai.

This is by no means an everyday soda. Actually you shouldn’t drink any soda everyday, unless you’re looking to end up like the mother from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. This is the kind of soda you drink on a special occasion or at the end of a long day. You get into some comfy clothes sit back and sip this over the course of an hour or so. It’s meant to be savored and enjoyed. Mull the flavor over in your mouth and think about the holiday season ahead. It’s going to be hell, but at least you get some enjoyment in the form of seasonal soda out of it.

Website
http://www.taylorstonics.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Ginger, Soda Pop
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 11th, 2013
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Panera Bread Green Tea

Panera Bread  Green Tea

You thought I was never going to do it but I did it. Was it hard? No. How hard is buying a cup of green tea? Not hard. It took a lot of recommendation and persuasion to get me out of their hibiscus iced tea, which I should add has been upgraded to a five bottle review, but we did it. How was it? Not as good as everyone thinks it is.

If I had to simplify it, which I don't have to but I will, it tastes like if Whole Foods made green tea Freez-e-pops. It's sweet like the liquid in one would be. As for the promised passion fruit and papaya infusion, it is a light infusion that might only be used to cut out the bitterness of the green tea of which there is none. It's not fruity and doesn't have a ton of body whatsoever. It's a fairly straightforward, entry-level sweet green tea. Sure, it's for the masses so bitterness and complexity don't really bode well for the lowest common denominator. Am I calling you a dumb dummy? No sir or madam. Am I calling you a lady who houses prostitutes? No ma'am.

Website
Http://www.panerabread.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 30th, 2013
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Sneakz Chocolate

Sneakz Chocolate

It just so happens that in this world not everyone is perfect. Sometimes you have a vision, but the way you execute it falls short. As you can read below, that was the case with Sneakz. They had the great idea of creating a beverage for kids that contained a whole mess of vegetables that they need in their diet, but wouldn’t eat. People said that kids would never drink that, and that is when Sneakz said, “They will if we disguise it with chocolate!” So they did, but the flavor of the vegetables crept through and no one was happy.

Cut to a couple of years and a second chance later and Sneakz has sent us their reformulated shakes. I very distinctly remembered my last visit with “Bandit” and was not looking forward to it. The reason for that is that I am dumb and forgot that things can change. This is so much better than the old version. The chocolate flavor holds out and completely disguises the veggies. This is like dumping cheese on broccoli and brussel sprouts, except it is delicious and not as horrible for you. Seriously all I can taste is chocolate milk. They have cracked the code and they are exactly where they want to be (well except maybe with more sugar).


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OLD REVIEW
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Oh Bandit, you rascally fox. You are always trying to deceive kids by sneaking vegetables into places they don't belong. Those dumb kids. They will never suspect that there are vegetables inside their chocolate milk. That is, unless they are dumber than you think because it is quite apparent that something wrong is going on inside this juice box. Bandit, you have lost your touch with this one. You might be saving kids elsewhere in things like food but with this drink it is as if you are robbing a bank with no gun, mask, or charisma.

This drink for a split second tastes like a chocolate milk. One split second is all you get. Quickly your temporarily pleased palate is washed over clearly by some sort of tomfoolery. I cannot pinpoint it but it's between vegetable lies and protein drinky. Both of the latter being enemies of children.

Bandit, I don't want you to get in trouble with your boss Sneakz but I've got to fill out "sucks" on the comment card they gave me for you ability to deceive children with hiding goods inside of the bads. Better luck next time little fox. Now come over here and let me pet your little head. I've always wanted to pet a fox.

Website
http://www.sneakz.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 12th, 2013
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Buy Now
Sneakz Organic Chocolate Milkshake, 8oz Carton (Pack of 12)

Lanilai Relaxation Drink Maui Mango Passion

Lanilai Relaxation Drink Maui Mango Passion

The essence of Hawaii has been captured and is now available in can form. From my brief stay there I believe I have gathered enough information to make the scientific assumption that it is impossible to be stressed out there. Everything about the island that I was on was just peaceful and beautiful. Lanilai wants to share that inner tranquility with you, the mainlanders, so you can know their joy.

Unlike many relaxation drinks, this is not meant to be a sleep aid. It is simply there to help you “relax, refocus and rejuvenate.” Basically it just calms you down so you can enjoy the little things that are going on around you. It is also non-carbonated, which is nice because harsh bubbles don’t really scream relaxation to me, yet a lot of these types of drinks use them. It’s something I will never understand and at this point I don’t care, because I’m just chill.

The flavor is a mixture of purple muscadine grapes, peaches, mangos and herbal passion flower. I tastes quite sweet and tropical, the way you would expect an island non-adventure to. The peach flavor really stands out the most, but you can detect the other flavors as well. My only complaint is that they used stevia alongside evaporated cane juice, and it left a slightly distracting taste. I don’t think they needed to add another sweetener, the amount of cane juice in here would have been just fine.

You could do hours of yoga to relax, or you could be lazy and drink one of these. Guess which one I chose.

Website
http://lanilai.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Evaporated Cane Juice
Categories
Relaxation
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 21st, 2013
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