Juice (939 reviews)

Ocean Spray Pact Cranberry Blood Orange

Ocean Spray Pact Cranberry Blood Orange

Question: Is it infused if it takes the color and flavor of the fruit? It seems like it's just a juice at that point.

Story: This is good. I saw it at an Aldi and left the line I was in while the people in front of me argued about bringing bags and the people behind me screamed at someone on the phone about how they're going to beat the hell of them when they see them. I'm painting a picture of what it's like to Aldi by me. Yes, it's a verb. I could not get out of there fast enough. It's not always like that but when it rains it pours.

Review: This is good. I'm at work after a long weekend just drinking some fruity juice water. It's good. Best of all, you can't really tell that it's fake sugar. I believe previously that you could. Perhaps they improved the recipe. From a drink standpoint it's good. I certainly get more cranberry than blood orange or even citrus at all. Did that make it lose points? Nope. It was still good. I would get it again. For the eleventh time, though, this is juice. Give Vitamin Water to a child and have a discussion about whether or not it's water or juice. Hint makes water with fruit essence in it. This is not that.

Website
http://www.oceanspray.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Juice, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 week, 2 days ago
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San Pellegrino Melograno E Arancia

San Pellegrino Melograno E Arancia

It's not often that we find "regular" drinks on the shelves everywhere but today I found this while buying a seasonal corned beef sandwich. I was surprised when we hadn't reviewed it because both Jay and I enjoy a nice can of San P when given the opportunity. It's more calories than we like but they're good so we like it. How did this far? Well it fared well because sitting next to me is an empty can. It's very fruity and all of the orange and pomegranate juice comes through nicely. It's not overly sweet or fruity. It hits you right in the sweet spot. If you gave this to a scientist and said, "Dr. Scientist? Why are there so many calories in this juice?" They would probably say something like, "You mispronounce my name. It's 'Craig' and it's because there are a lot of calories in fruit and you know….sugar."

So fruit has calories. Calories are displayed as "joules" in the UK, right? That's cooler. American's hate calories. Joules sound way cooler. We should switch. Let's take the metric system while we're at it. Oh, and get rid of daylight savings time. Just rip those bandages right off all at once. Be on the right side of history, friends.

Website
http://www.sanpellegrino.com
Country
Italy
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 12th, 2018
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Forager Mango & Chia

Forager Mango & Chia

Oh, a mango and chia probiotic smoothie. That sounds pleasant enough. Wait, the base of this is cashew milk? That sounds a bit odd, but I’m willing to give it a try, I mean I really like almond milk.
*one spit take later*
Okay, I was wrong that is not what I want to taste. I still think I would like cashew milk on its own. Hell, I think I would probably even like it if it were just that and mango juice. It might be a little weird, but I have a ghost vision of it on my taste buds and it’s not bad. The problem lies with one, some or all of the other ingredients. I’m looking at you orange juice, dates, lemon juice, and bacillus coagulans GB1-30 6086 whatever you are (it’s a probiotic strain). In your ranks is the think that makes this taste very vegetable juice like and not like something I want to drink at all. It tastes like it’s the gross beverage that I would have to force myself to drink on a juice cleanse. Lucky for me I’m not cleansing and I don’t have to force anything. Wait, why did I just chug the whole thing then?

Website
http://foragerproject.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Milk
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 6th, 2018
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Core Organic Blueberry

Core Organic Blueberry

You know. It's a juice.

Wild blueberry. Is that different than a "regular" blueberry? I feel like you could add adjectives to anything and as long as it's not "wrong," it's right. "Well you do find them in the wild so they are technically wild blueberries. LOLZ." Farmers. Whatever, dudes.

This is fine. I didn't expect much as it's a Stevia juice with low calories. They kind of take the form of a fruit flavored sugar after a while. This doesn't taste bad but it hardly tastes like any blueberry I've ever tasted and I've been known to eat a blueberry every now and then. At ten calories per bottle though, I cannot and will not complain. This is actually a decent drink that met my expectations and allowed me to happily drink while not knowing if I was going to have some sort of caloric overload or sugar high, neither of which I want.

Website
http://core-hydration.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 2nd, 2018
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Bolthouse Farms Raspberry Blood Orange

Bolthouse Farms Raspberry Blood Orange

So either there was a mishap with the labeling of this product, the people at Bolthouse have learned some crazy science that would make them masters at mixing fountain beverages, or the company employs warlocks. The reason for this is that the flavor listed on the bottle is Raspberry Blood Orange, yet the fruit it lists as making up the juice are blood oranges, apples, strawberries, cherries, and pomegranate. As you can see raspberries are not included in this bottle, yet without knowing the name of this juice I would have bet money that it included raspberries just from the taste. Okay at the very bottom in tiny writing it does say raspberry puree is used, but it’s in the fine print, so I’m guessing like .05% of this is actual raspberry. That being said, this may taste more like raspberries than any other drink I have ever tried. Perhaps mixing strawberries and cherries tricks one mind into thinking it’s a raspberry. I don’t know, but I wish I did, because I would like to recreate it on my own. This juice is fantastic and it is exactly what I needed to drink while I’m dealing with this cold. Can someone come over and just squeeze blood oranges and raspberries directly in my mouth, because I seem to have drunk this entire bottle. I would also accept it if you brought several more bottles with you instead.

Website
http://bolthouse.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 21st, 2018
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Bai Lambari Watermelon Lime

Bai Lambari Watermelon Lime

I think if Thirsty Dudes could have one sponsor it would be Big Lots. I believe that I speak for both Jay and myself when I say that for drinks, it's a great place. They never have the same thing and you could go once a month and find new stuff. It's not the best stuff, sure. It's not the most high end stuff, sure. Sometimes you find a lot of the same stuff but anything that's there a lot is truly and undeniably garbage at best. Recently they've been getting some nicer stuff though like Bruce Cost, Illy and Belvoir. Maybe they know we're going there.

This last time I went with my brother who has never "Thirsty Dude'd" with me and he just watched as I nonchalantly knocked drink after drink into my handcart. This being one of them and I'm glad I did because it's pretty darn good. Somehow the lime does cut through and ruin everything. The watermelon flavor was light and first followed by the lime. They're also doing a good job at taming their array of sweeteners because it no longer tastes like Stevia threw up in your mouth. It's also in a nice, small can so you don't get overwhelmed by the flavor. It's sweet. Not too sweet but I think anything larger than this there would be remainders.

Big Lots, if you're listening, we're accepting offers.

Website
http://www.drinkbai.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Bai Natural Sweetener Blend (Erythritol and Organi
Categories
Diet, Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 19th, 2018
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Star Wars Sparkling Vitamin Drink Space Punch

Star Wars Sparkling Vitamin Drink Space Punch

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away..and by that I mean a few months ago in Delaware this beverage was “bottled.” Star Wars has always been known for its merchandising, but this one seems a bit ridiculous. Space Punch? Are they serious? This seems like it should be some sort of knock off product, you know like something that would be featured on a Star Wars version of bootlegbart.com. The slit on Kylo Ren’s mask would go vertically and his light sabre would be bright green or something like that. We live in a strange world though in which Disney owns Star Wars and has licensed it out for this product.

At first I thought the price point on this was a bit high for a kid’s drink. Then I noticed that the vitamin content of this was mostly B vitamins and Niacin aka vitamins used in energy drinks. It was then that it hit me that when I was a kid everything Star Wars related was directed towards children, but nowadays a bunch of it must be marketed towards adults because those kids that were fanatics about it in the 80’s are now all grown up. If this were made for kids it would taste like Flintstone’s chewable vitamins dissolved into fruit punch. Instead it tastes like Centrum multivitamins were ground up and put in the juice. It has a very non-candy like vitamin taste to it. At least the fruit punch aspect of it tastes great.it is composed of grapefruit, pear, orange, blueberry, blackberry and raspberry juice mixed together. If you took out the vitamins and most definitely left out the completely unnecessary erythritol this would be a punch that would truly be out of this world. Instead it just tastes a bit earthy and a bit diet. The force was not with A Drink Department One when they dreamt this up.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Juice, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 15th, 2018
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100% Fruit & Veggies Purple Rain (Beetroot-Apple-Grape-Black Currant)

100% Fruit & Veggies Purple Rain (Beetroot-Apple-Grape-Black Currant)

Do you think this product was named before or after Prince passed away? Not that it really matters, I just find myself curious about marketing strategies. I will choose to believe that whether it happened pre or post, it was meant as a tribute to the greatness that is the 1984 album/movie. I can picture a juicer in a room draped with purple velvet yelling along with Darling Nikki while squeezing the juice from a variety of produce, or you know to a lesser extent humming Computer Blue while mixing concentrates (which compose this juice).

I mean I know beets are more maroon that purple, but I get where they are going with this. Do you think Prince would only drink grape and beet juice to keep up with his image? I’ll choose to believe, yes.

This tastes like an apple-grape juice that has a bit of beet mixed in. I could use it to be a little more beety and taste more like earth. Yes, that is what I want from juice, an earthy flavor. I know it’s not for everyone, but it’s for me. Even without the dirt taste this is still great. It gets a little sweet, so I’m not able to drink more than a small glass at a time, but who needs to drink more than that anyway?

Website
http://www.sparkelbeverages.nl/
Country
Netherlands
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 15th, 2018
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V8 + Energy Kiwi Melon

V8 + Energy Kiwi Melon

Mark, I was happy to come over and help you tear our your kitchen. I mean it’s always great to help out a pal in order to save them some money. The thing is, this is day three of what was supposed to be a couple hour job. As I said, I’m happy to help out a friend, but I’m calling into work for this and old man Jenkins is getting pretty pissed, not to mention my paycheck is going to be light this week. I feel the need to mention that one jar of salsa and a bag of tortilla chips, does not really count as a meal, especially since you are a known salsa addict and eat 80% of it. The one thing I will say is that these energy drinks you picked up are pretty nice. Sure, you forgot to take the tag off of one of them and I see you picked them up at Big Lots for $.80 each, but I’m not one to care about cost, as long as the flavor is there. There is some taste here too. I’d say this is 20% kiwi melon, 70% apple, 5% sucralose, and 5% other. For something that is supposed to be carbonated kiwi melon green tea, it really tastes strongly of carbonated apple juice. That’s not a complaint, more of an observation, so you can put down that pry bar. If you drink it while it’s cold that artificial sweetener doesn’t come through much, but the warmer it gets the more obvious it becomes. Overall it’s pretty tasty and it’s probably the thing I would complain about this situation the least. I’m hungry, jacked up on caffeine, and my body feels like it’s breaking down. Why are there six different layers of flooring on top of the subfloor? Whoever owned this house before you was a real turd, you know that? By the way how much are you saving by us doing this work? $300?!?!?! Are you serious Mark? You know what? Screw you and screw your house and while you’re at it screw your pittance of salsa. I’m taking the rest of this V8 I’m leaving. Yes, you will see me at Margret’s on Saturday for Louie’s birthday and yes I will have gotten over this by then, but as of now. You my friend are the turd.

Website
http://www.v8juice.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 29th, 2017
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Zhivchic Pear

Zhivchic Pear

For a drink that expired six years ago from the Ukraine, this sexy pear drink wasn't too bad.

Website
http://zhivchik.ua/
Country
Ukraine
Sweetener
Couldn't Read Ingredients
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 17th, 2017
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