Other/Weird (62 reviews)
Hyper Malt Original
For a few years I thought of how great it would be if someone would market cereal milk. All different kinds, but particularly Fruity Pebbles and Golden Grams. There is nothing better than that flavor infused cream after you've finished the "solids" portion of your two course breakfast cereal. It's like drinking the bathwater of the gods and sometimes, before moving onto that final stage, I refresh the first, making the inevitable payload that much more savory. It's a harrowing exercise of will power to be certain but like any work-out or period of time without smoking cigarettes, it's more than worth it once you cross that finish line. It is, essentially, the bathwater of TWO gods now. Perhaps they bathed together. Maybe there was just a water shortage and they needed to conserve so as long as the temperature remained comfortable they just wouldn't drain it in-between baths. There is no limit to their hygienic routines as long as your imagination is healthy.
What I'm saying is, though this might sound like a good idea to some (or no one after that unfortunate analogy), I have found upon drinking HYPER MALT ENERGY DRINK that cereal milk is only delicious because the person drinking it worked so hard to make it. This energy drink tastes like someone took a bowl of apple juice, emptied the contents of a box of Wheaties into it, let it sit in the sun for a few days, took it back inside, gagged heartily, then ran the fluid through a colander into a bottle which went directly into my mouth. I don't see cereal milk being a big hit for anyone looking to be refreshed, and I don't see HYPER MALT ENERGY DRINK being a big hit for anyone looking to be energized. Unless of course you only need the energy required to hurriedly rush to the bathroom to spit it out before going back to watching Maury Povich like I did this morning. But at least it saved me the tens of thousands of dollars I was going to invest in my new milk company.
When I asked Keith to rate the drink he said "0 of 5. No wait, NEGATIVE 0 of 5." Our scale only goes to "1" but keep in mind that if it was possible, it would be below that.
- Country
- Denmark
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Keith Buckley - Singer for Every Time I Die 2 weeks ago
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Grandpa Lundquist Traditional Scandinavian Winter Beverage Glogg
While Euroboy may be as graceful as can be when it comes to playing guitar, the same cannot be said about the rest of his life. The sad truth is that he is the klutz of Turbonegro. Whenever the band gets together to practice or a show at some point or another Euroboy will break something. It’s really his hat that is to blame. With that thing on he really can’t see a thing, but he just refuses to take it off. In 2003 when the band had a party to release their album “Scandinavian Leather” Hank from Hell ordered a case of Glogg to celebrate in true Scandinavian fashion. He was so proud of his score, but then Euroboy came bumbling in and crashed into the table. The case went flying and all but one bottle were smashed. It was a sad state of affairs and it’s what ultimately led to Hank leaving the band years later.
Oh you’ve never heard of Glogg? Well it’s a traditional Scandinavian winter beverage that is in essence grape and apple juice mixed with chai. You are supposed to drink it hot. I recommend that you do so because when it’s cold it tastes like someone dumped some liquid potpourri into juice. It’s pretty gross. It smells wonderful. It smells the way Christmas should, and not like burned churches as you might expect something from that region to. When you heat it up it is much better. It is very intense. It’s definitely a sipping beverage and not something that you would chug. It’s sweet and full of spices such as cinnamon, cloves and cardamom. I would have never thought of mixing chai with fruit juice but it makes an interesting match that will help keep you warm during those long Eastern European winters. Now go listen to any of the three albums that Turbonegro released as the Apocalypse Trilogy and pump your fist. There is no better album than “Apocalypse Dudes” for keeping you awake on those long overnight drives.
- Country
- Sweden
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks, 2 days ago
Copper Mountain Hot 2 Go! Hot Cocoa
Martin hated skiing. Let me rephrase that. Martin hated skiing with his family. They were all terrible, which is fine and good except they always went to the same rinky dink slopes. Martin knew what he was doing and dreamed of slopes like the K12 that would provide both excitement and a challenge. Instead year after year his family would pile into the car and go to the most budget ski resort that ever existed. Actually you couldn’t even call it a resort. There was no elaborate lodge or rooms for rent. The only structure was a tiny shed that the cashier sat in that also housed a combo hot chocolate-coffee machine. You know the kind with the little paper cups. When you finish drinking your beverage you look into the bottom and there is a symbol from one of the four suits of cards. If it matches up with the one on the outside you won a free coffee or something. I don’t think anyone ever won, and if they did I doubt they ever claimed their prize.
Last year Martin’s dad had gotten into a scuffle with the machine when it ate his change. He had kicked the crap out of it until the cashier finally looked up from her copy of Vogue and asked him to stop. That was the highlight of the trip for Martin.
Here he was again at the slopes. Luckily the weather had been unseasonably warm this year, so it looked like this was going to be their only trip for the winter. Martin went down the slope three times before he accepted that it was dumb and pointless. He had a couple of quarters in his pocket, so he figured he might as well get a hot chocolate. When he entered the shack he instantly noticed that the machine was gone, and in its place was a shelf of Hot 2 Go beverages and a microwave. How could he not notice, there was nothing else in the shack. The cashier had been replaced with a vending machine of sorts. It was hard times out on the slopes. Oh well, what can you do. Martin grabbed a hot chocolate, peeled off the metal cap and threw the “cup” into the microwave for 60 seconds. When he pulled it out it was actually at a drinkable temperature, so he didn’t have to worry if he had waited long enough to not scald his tongue. It actually wasn’t bad. It tasted like the same hot chocolate as the machine dispensed, but not as watered down. It tasted more like cocoa than hot sweet water. He had gotten it just to warm him up, but he discovered that he really enjoyed it. It wasn’t enough to make the trip a pleasurable experience, but it occupied his time for the 30 seconds it took him to drink it.
- Website
- http://www.coppermtnbev.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks, 5 days ago
Mamma Chia Organic Cranberry Lemonade
What else is there to say about Mamma Chia drinks that we haven’t said before? They are certainly unique. They are also very tasty. They start with a wonderful tasting juice (cranberry and lemonade in this case) and then fill the bottle with the insanity that is chia seeds. The hard seeds are coated in a slimy substance that helps them go down very smooth. They are slimy, but not in a gross way. It adds more of a thickness to the consistency of the drink. It makes drinking fun. And there are health benefits to it.
The flavor of this is strong, but not overbearing. It tastes like mild lemonade with a mild cranberry flavoring. I say mild only because it’s neither tart nor bitter like both of the fruits are in their normal form. There is nothing mild about the taste.
- Website
- http://www.mammachia.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Agave
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Juice, Lemonade, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 3 weeks, 3 days ago
Rocket Fizz Pure Cane Sugar S'Mores
I was finally asked to a sleepover at The Sandlot Crew's tree house last night. To put in lightly, it was AMAZING! I had so much fun! We didn't have parents bugging us, we ate junk food, and Squints told us the story of The Beast. I'll admit, it made me a little scared to go back to the sandlot today. I was supposed to be there a half hour ago.
Anyways, probably the coolest thing was when Ham offered me my first s'more. I had no idea what he was talking about and I thought he was offering me more of nothing. Chocolate, marshmallow, and graham crackers were meant to be eaten together. It was a heavenly treat. When I got home this morning I told my mom that I loved s'mores now. With the biggest smile on her face, she went to the fridge and brought me this bottle of pop back. I had no idea they made this!! The people at Rocket Fizz must be rocket scientists because this tastes exactly like the s'mores I had last night. It's like chocolate and marshmallow in liquid form.
Don't tell the other guys, but I think I like this s'mores soda more than the actually food. It's less messy and tastes more consistently awesome. Okay I gotta go, if I don't get to the baseball field soon I'll be stuck batting last again.
- Website
- http://www.rocketfizz.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird, Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 1/10/2012
Hangover Joe's Get Up & Go Recovery Shot Citrus
Hangover Joe's sent us a package of these Hangover Recovery Shots. Since none of us here at Thirsty Dudes drink alcohol, we outsourced our review to our friend and cohort Pat Shanahan. Last night was Mohawk Place's (our favorite bar/place for shows in Buffalo) annual Xmas party. Originally Pat was going to wait to get drunk enough to need to drink this, but about halfway through the night he had a change of heart and the PBR flowed like water down his gullet. As you can see from his review he got drunk, fast, and his alter ego "Brocktoon" made an appearance. Here's what he had to say.
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"Sometimes you spend a long evening drinking keg beer at your favorite dive bar. Later, You take a nap on floor. A couple of hours later the bartender gives you a ride home. Nice guy. Fast forward to the morning after. You take a hangover recovery shot. Tastes kinda like generic Smarties. Not too bad. I kind of wish it was bigger. Maybe it helps to relieve the headache, just a little bit, but not too much. Now you have to walk to your friend's house to feed their cat while they are out of town. At least you didn't get arrested, or get anyone pregnant. Merry Xmas." - Pat
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As for a Thirsty Dude's perspective on the taste of this, it tastes like someone mixed an entire package of Kool Aid powder into a shot glass of water. It's sweet, fruity and very strong. I understand where Pat got his Smarties taste. It really tastes like a Kool Aid flavored energy shot. They share a lot of the same ingredients. Actually now that I look at the ingredients of this and a 5 Hour Energy back to back this is pretty much an energy shot with some extra vitamins in it. Makes sense. We wish Pat/Brocktoon a speedy recovery.
- Website
- http://www.hangoverjoes.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Other/Weird, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 12/23/2011
- Buy Now
- Hangover Recovery Shot
Tiger Malt Original
Well. Great. Merry Christmas. Fantastic. Here I am, on stage, accepting this award for perfect attendance for my high school. One of two kids that got it. I don't necessarily do stupendous in class, but I do fair. I'm a B student. What do I get? A handshake and a bottle of pop from the principal. That seems strange to me. I guess I did spend all that time going to class. I deserve this pop.
Alright. Study hall. Second to last day of the year. I've got this strange Tiger Malt and I'm going to drink it. I can do what I want. I'm 17, there is one day of school left and I haven't missed a day. Down the hatch Tiger Malt. Ugh. What the heck is in this bottle? What are my taste buds doing to me? I've got to try this again. I have never felt anything like this before. It's revolting but yet so familiar. Bleh. Terrible. Did someone play a joke on me? Is there some sort of conspiracy against letting kids finish a school year without missing a day? This is going to put me in the hospital? Did someone liquefy and strain a bowl of Raisin Bran? It tastes like a stronger version of my Puerto Rican friend Joey's mom's favorite Malta Goya drink. I might barf. That's isn't going to look good on the floor or on my permanent record.
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/21/2011
Bird's Nest Nice Look
Oh, I would like to look nice. Inversely, I would also like to have a nice look, I guess. I would also not like to drink whatever this drink is made out of. What is it made out of, you say? Simple actually: water, white fungus, bird's nest, rock sugar, and vanilla. Done and done. There. Simple. Delicious? Not so much. We have done a bird's nest drink previously, and this one is no different except the separation of particles in the drink are more aloe-esque and less "spit in water" which makes it a bit more appetizing.
The fellas over at The Impulsive Buy have reviewed this drink and have some equally disgusting things to say about it.
It smells a little like Kix, which, ironically, I had this morning and makes me not want to eat it any more. It's a very smooth drink. It's lightly sweetened but the chunks are less chunk and more wet paper. That is disturbing. I can't fathom drinking any more of this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Thailand for taking a can of this away from you. I hope there isn't a shortage because I am tossing out a 3/4 full can of this is the filth can.
- Country
- Thailand
- Sweetener
- Rock Sugar
- Categories
- Chunky Drinks, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/19/2011
Loton Health Job's tears drink
Job was a sad man. Generally sad. Depressed sad. It's nothing that he could do or change. It was a chemical imbalance that, through no fault of his own, caused him to cry constantly. The only thing that would make him happy was to eat edamame by the barrel. He would go to sushi restaurants and order three servings of it himself before he had the money to buy a steamer of his own. He would always have some dessert, too. He loved his sweets.
One day, Job had just drank a glass of water and eaten his sixth serving of edamame. He didn't have any money to keep the soybeans a-flowin' so, naturally he began to cry. He cried harder than he had ever cried before. While he was crying, the waitress brought him over the check and a piece of candy to cleanse the palate a little bit. He sadly ate the candy, which, by the way, is the worst way to eat sweets. He cried so hard that a constant stream of tears rushed down his cheeks and into his cup of water. He got up and paid the bill and went home to continue on his sad day.
The waitress, who was a bit off in the head, saw what had happened and saw where the liquid in the glass came from. She looked at it, saw that it was a little thick, and a little milky, and she did the unthinkable and drank some of Job's tears. While she didn't hate it, she thought that it was good enough to market. She called Job in as she had been in there enough times that they were on a first name basis. She told him to make more because she was going to bottle it and sell it. He thought it was gross that she drank it but he was happy that he made something that someone enjoyed so he ate soybeans on the house and cried into multiple open containers. The waitress bottled them and sold them at the restaurant. They didn't sell many because they were labeled as "Job's tears" but the ones that were sold, we enjoyed. People said that the drink tasted like watery, slightly sweetened, soybean juice.
Job was happy that all of his sadness made some people happy and he could at least make money crying all day. The waitress made a new friend, Job, who ended up being her business partner for a long time. The people who frequented the restaurant were deranged because they literally and voluntarily drank someone's sorrow.
- Country
- Taiwan
- Sweetener
- Red Sugar
- Categories
- Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/5/2011
Dunkin' Donuts Mint Hot Chocolate
I've got to say that Dunkin' Donuts is pretty good when it comes to drinks. We don't review a lot of chain restaurant drinks, but it doesn't break the Thirsty Dudes rules so we don't have a reason why we wouldn't. Their sweet tea is pretty good. Their frozen hot chocolate is good but terrible for you. Their Coolatta's are disgusting, or at least the one that I had wasn't good.
When I saw a commercial for mint hot chocolate, I thought that it would be delicious and that I needed it. Commercials don't really work on me, but it's like they saw me coming with that one. I got it today, a respectful medium, and promptly drank it, burning my tongue in the process. For the record, that does not affect my review, just my weekend.
It tastes like regular, decent hot chocolate, but the mint isn't overwhelming. You know when you put a candy cane in your hot cocoa? That would be mintier than this. I believe that Tim Horton's just puts one starlight mint in your hot cocoa, charges you for it, and leaves you with a mediocre version of this drink. Would I get it again? Eh, maybe. If I'm in the mood. The fact that it's less than a week from December and it's almost sixty degrees outside makes me not want to drink hot things yet so planning ahead with regards to hot drinks and soups are kind of out of my mindset. I wouldn't tell anyone not to get it though.
- Website
- http://www.dunkindonuts.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Not Listed
- Categories
- Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/26/2011