Other/Weird (143 reviews)

Ripple Chocolate

Ripple Chocolate

For months this tub o’ milk substitute has been staring me down in the organic section of my local Wegmans. I think it’s mostly because even though I know the product is called Ripple, the way the typeface is on the bottle I always read it as Apple and subconsciously my taste buds are tricked into thinking that it was going to be some sort of delicious chocolate apple milk. The somewhat hefty price tag ($8 I believe) help me back from making the purchase. My ladyfriend finally pulled the trigger, because unaware to me it has also been pulling at her with its chocolatey siren’s call.

My first thought when I took as sip was a ridiculous disappointment. How on earth could I expect this to taste like apple when I knew it wasn’t at all is a secret my brain to will take to its grave. I can’t hold a lack of apple against the company when it was never promised in the first place.

My second thought was, well this isn’t really a sipping beverage. It’s a bit chalky and you can taste the plant protein in it (it comes from peas, luckily it tastes nothing like the semi-grossness of peas when they exist outside of a pot pie). It reminds me a lot of protein drinks, but less thick. I think the ideal use for this would be as a base for a smoothie. I can’t see myself drinking a full glass of this, or putting it on cereal, but I can see me mixing it with some peanut butter and such mixed up in a blender.

This is nothing I would spend money on for the price, but it does have its purposes if you have the disposable income.

Website
http://www.ripplefoods.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 4 days ago
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Starbucks Frappuccino Unicorn

Starbucks Frappuccino Unicorn

I don't understand what just happened. Every sip was different and every sip was strange. It was sour in some sips and just an explosion of some sort of mystery fruit in others. There were also glitter sprinkle sparkles on top.

I don't know what the flavor was. Was it strawberry? I think I read mango somewhere but if I put one next to the other, it wouldn't have been whatever I tasted in this. I mean, is "cotton candy" a fruit? It tasted like cotton candy at some points. Who is this for? Within the ten minutes that I was there, they sold a rather copious amount of them so they're doing something right. It won't last long but if it was up to me, I would have drank a dozen of that illusive Polar Unicorn Kiss that I/we never got to try before I would drink another one of these. Was it bad? I cannot even answer that question. It truly was made of the barf of unicorns.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Other/Weird, Smoothie
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 19th, 2017
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Golden Brew Apple Cider Vinegar Tonic Wildflower Honey & Cinnamon

Golden Brew Apple Cider Vinegar Tonic Wildflower Honey & Cinnamon

Who doesn’t love the most refreshing beverage in the universe, vinegar? You douse your French fries in it. You use it to color Easter eggs. You use it as a cleaning agent. Sometimes when you don’t shower for a week you smell like a combination of it and old onions. Wait, vinegar is horrible and I never want to ingest it outside of it being used in salsa. It’s actually one of my most hated flavors and many a food has been ruined by it, yet here I am consciously drinking a bottle of it. The things I do for Thirsty Dudes.
When you first take a sip of this a wonderful honey and cinnamon taste washes through your mouth. I thought, holy crap this is actually really, really good. It tastes very natural and I can’t believe I’m enjoyi…. Before I could finish my thought the vinegar was there, ruining the party like it always does. I had other people try this and they said it was pretty mild and they enjoyed it. Me, as a sworn enemy of vinegar couldn’t do more than a couple sips. I’ll let my friend’s enjoyment weigh on my rating though. If you don’t mind vinegar then this is probably awesome. I mean the cinnamon flavor was possibly the best I’ve ever had in a beverage and the honey was quite good as well. I wish I could enjoy the rest of the ingredients, but nope, it’s not for me. I’m sure it’s super healthy though. People drink vinegar for health, right?

Website
http://www.goldenbrewtea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Honey
Categories
Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 18th, 2016
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Never Too Hungover Prevention

Never Too Hungover Prevention

Seeing as neither of us at Thirsty Dudes drink at all, let alone enough to give us a hangover, we had our friend Paul Morin (from the band Orations and famed impersonator) drink this and give us his thoughts. Here are the jumbled notes that he sent us:

Smells like grass.
Greenish color.
Tastes like smarties/ lemon-lime Gatorade.
Pasty chalky texture.
Tastes like artificially sweetened "Limeade."
My friend who is a chemist said after looking at the ingredients it was basically like taking a Tylenol before drinking.
Vaguely smells like dirty socks. "Limey sock water."

I did not wake up with a hangover however I did have to make several to the bathroom. Not sure whether to blame the alcohol, something I ate, or the product for that.

This is from a man who went to college to be a librarian. I guess you can’t blame him since he started sober and kept writing as he got progressively drunker.

I can’t really argue with most of his thoughts though. This tastes like a diet lime Gatorade if it had the concentration of an unfrozen Freeze-E-Pop.

Website
http://nevertoohungover.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Other/Weird, Shot
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 4th, 2016
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Golden Brew Apple Cider Vinegar Tonic Lemon Ginger Turmeric

Golden Brew Apple Cider Vinegar Tonic Lemon Ginger Turmeric

I was worried about this. Vinegar? As a drink? That's a strange one, right? Who drinks vinegar? I do, apparently. How is this vinegar, though? It's good. The turmeric and lemon and ginger are a great trio. Good burn and the vinegar is there but mild. I was worried that it would be like drinking straight vinegar or better/worse fruit flavored pickle juice. It was not. You could taste a little lemon but the turmeric and ginger was prominent and a flavorful team.

I think I have another one of these in the basement, where vinegar/pickling belongs. I no longer worry about what they will taste like and welcome with open, pickle loving arms, vinegar drinks. I say that now until I buy something like a Bragg's and it's going blow the lid off my mouth like that one time I thought it would be a good idea to take a shot of chicken marinade not knowing it was mostly vinegar and my eyes watered up like that time that I saw Homeward Bound for the first time.

Website
http://www.goldenbrewtea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Agave Nectar
Categories
Iced Tea, Other/Weird
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 28th, 2016
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Never Too Hungover Boost

Never Too Hungover Boost

Over the years we have been sent a small handful of hangover cures. It seems like a great idea, but the problem is that neither Mike nor I drink at all. Our solution is to find a friend who is planning on getting drunk and having them drink it and relay their results to us, while we drink one and remark on the taste. Well, I’ve been somewhat of a hermit lately and I haven’t been around people drinking in a while. I’ve been sitting on this for a couple of weeks and the proper opportunity hasn’t arisen. I didn’t want to make the company feel like we are neglecting their product and after the events of yesterday I have what I assume a hangover feels like.

Yesterday I had to print shirts for about 12 hours in a room that was easily over 110 degrees. I only stopped when a friend stopped by to get me to go push around the city on skateboards. Like the idiot I am I did not drink nearly enough water and as a result I was dehydrated, which I believe is a large part of hangovers. When I woke up this morning I was achy with a throbbing head and felt a little queasy. These are all complaints I hear from people who have hangovers. I decided this was as close as I was ever going to come so I drank this bottle of Boost, which can be drank before, during or the day after drinking. It seems to be jam packed with every B vitamin ever, Potassium, Electrolytes, Milk Thistle, Green Tea Extract, Aloe Vera, and Gotu Kola.

It’s been about 45 minutes since I drank this and I do feel a bit better. I’m not sure if it’s just time or the beverage, but I’ll assume it was the drink. I also just learned that a big cause of hangovers is a toxin called acetaldehyde. Now I don’t know if I had that but I’ll just assume that this combats that quite nicely.

It has a berry taste, with a sucralose sweetness. It’s a bit intense, but it’s a shot, so that was expected. I don’t know if this was a very accurate test, but I do feel better so I’ll just say that this helps with hangovers because my word is law, right? RIGHT?

Website
http://nevertoohungover.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Other/Weird, Shot
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 15th, 2016
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Steaz Cactus Water With Cucumber & Green Tea

Steaz Cactus Water With Cucumber & Green Tea

Are you aware that the desert is a dead, dry place with no hope? Did you also know that cucumbers are the most refreshing thing this world has ever seen? If only cucumbers grew in the desert maybe life would exist. Because you know, nothing lives in the desert…oh wait; a lot of things live in the desert. That doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t lead richer lives if cucumber was a normal part of life for them. Steaz has taken that refreshing vegetable and combined it with prickly pear (the fruit on a cactus) as well as some green tea and the results are quite nice. The prickly pear is nice and sweet, but it allows the cucumber to cut through and give you that relief you so desperately crave. The only downside to this at all is that they tried to cut down on calories by using stevia along with cane sugar. It’s not horrible, but you can tell it’s there, which I would prefer it wasn’t. Other than that there is nothing but smooth sailing with this drink. Go ahead and drop me off in a remote desert location hundreds of miles from anywhere. As long as I had a couple cans of this I would be just fine, or dead. Fine or dead, one or the other.

Website
http://www.steaz.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Other/Weird
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 11th, 2016
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Elmhurst Naturals Horchata Cocoa

Elmhurst Naturals Horchata Cocoa

Horchata; One of the strangest things made from rice. I like rice in its natural form. "Juicing rice" seems strange like you just made rice wrong.

This is cocoa flavored horchata but is it any good? It's...OK. It's sweet but not too sweet or not sweet enough. It's just a different sweet. It's a sharp sweet. I had to check multiple times to see if there was any other sweetener besides sugar but there wasn't. It tastes diet but is not diet. I guess what I'm saying is I drank half of this and don't know what I drank. Some connoisseur I am, huh?

Website
http://www.steubenfoods.com/elmhurst-naturals
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 8th, 2016
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Steaz Cactus Water With Starfruit & Green Tea

Steaz Cactus Water With Starfruit & Green Tea

I know that to everyone out there it sounds like being a part of Thirsty Dudes is a nonstop party. I mean sure, Mike and I have abandoned our families and live in a giant penthouse in the fanciest of buildings downtown. Sure, we race motorcycles everywhere we go, including both the public and private elevators to our penthouse. You know how some nicer fridges have a filtered water tap built into the door? Ours dispenses ice cold sarsaparilla. We have an entire freezer that is filled with nothing but green tea ice cream mochi. That doesn’t make us any different than you our mild mannered readers. We still ride our prototype hoverboards one push at a time just like you. We are still humbled when companies send us advance flavors before they hit the market. Actually, that makes us feel pretty special. It’s not the millions of dollars we have made from reviewing these drinks that fill us with a sense of pride, it’s the little things like this.

When a package arrived the other day of the three flavors of the new Steaz cactus water line, I was pumped. You know pumped like when I ride the zip line down from our penthouse to the hot dog cart a few blocks away. I couldn’t wait to review it and help get the word out on a product I was sure was going to be fantastic. The problem was that I was completely incapacitated from the flu. I didn’t leave the couch, except to crawl to the rest room for about 72 hours. I thought it was the end of my life of luxury and leisure. As it does, time passed and my health returned and here I am enjoying a can of starfruit and green tea cactus water, even if it is a few days later that I would have liked it to be.

It was worth the wait folks. This is delicious. Cactus water is basically nature’s version of Gatorade and it is far superior to what has been dumped on coach’s heads for decades. It is high in antioxidants, reduces inflammation and is just chock full of electrolytes. This is sweet, smooth, and fruity. The green tea tastes is only vaguely there in the aftertaste, but the starfruit is right up front with the sweetness of the cactus water. There is some stevia in the mix as well, but I wouldn’t really have guessed that from the taste, which is a sign of proper use of any zero calorie sweetener. Steaz has not disappointed.

I wonder how many cans of this it would take to fill one of those Gatorade coolers. I’ll need to use the power of science to figure that out so I can be prepared for our next air hockey tournament up in the loft. I’m going to destroy Mike and then have the butler dump this on me when I win. Just like the champ I am.

Website
http://www.steaz.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Other/Weird
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 16th, 2016
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REBBL Super Herb Elixer Maca Mocha

REBBL Super Herb Elixer Maca Mocha

If you are like Mike and I, then you probably resemble a child more than an adult and you also probably don’t have a taste for coffee, but you have an affinity for mocha drinks. Just think about how we, and yes I’m including you in this mix up, would love to put that delicious chocolate-ness in a better base. The sky is the limit my friends and that is just what REBBL is reaching for.

For this mocha elixir coffee has been thrown to the curb. In it’s place we have a mixture of coconut milk, chicory root, carob, maca extract, vanilla extract, pink salt, quillaja extract and stevia. I’m not ashamed to admit that I am a big dumb-dumb head and I assumed that maca was the same thing as macha, which it definitely is not. I thought this was going to be a chocolate green tea of sorts, but that it is not. Maca is actually a root vegetable that is known to enhance vitality, stamina and energy. I don’t think that I can even taste the maca, but it’s doing its job. Actually, besides from the ridiculously great chocolate flavor most of what I get is the coconut. It tastes a bit like toasted coconut but it’s not too overpowering, which is great because I can’t stand toasted coconut, and I can still love this beverage. I also get a bit of chicory, which I can only distinguish because I was forced to drink coffee in New Orleans where this root is mixed in with the beans. It, and I’m assuming the maca, give this elixir a nice earthy rooty undertone without distracting from the chocolate. Oh the chocolate, how we love you. How perfect you are.

Website
http://www.rebbltonic.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Coconut Sugar
Categories
Coconut, Other/Weird
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 20th, 2016
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