Milk (76 reviews)

Elmhurst Naturals Horchata Traditional

Elmhurst Naturals Horchata Traditional

There is nothing quite like consuming more tacos than anyone on Earth should in one sitting and then washing it all down with some Horchata aka the perfect dessert beverage. In case you are unfamiliar with this liquid wonder it is basically cinnamon rice milk. Sometimes, if you are lucky, there is a little vanilla in there as well. It sounds so very simple, but it taste so very good. It’s the kind of drink that even if it were regularly available to me, I would save it for special occasions because I would not want it to become commonplace. It is a treat I like to give myself when I think I’ve earned it.

I’ve had premade horchata before and they have always left something to be desired. While on the better side of things, this bottle is no exception. It’s almost there, but at the same time it also tastes a bit on the watery side. I just don’t know if perfect horchata could have any sort of shelf life. The dairy would spoil too quickly. I did enjoy this, but it was taunting me, knowing how great it could be. It is a good substitute if you were to live in a town that didn’t have a proper Mexican restaurant that served the real stuff. It’s got that cinnamon rice flavor, and even a touch of vanilla, but it’s all just a little too weak. Drinking this makes me want to jump in my car and drive the 20 minutes to get a glass at my favorite Taqueria. I really shouldn’t, but I want to. Let’s say this is starter Horchata. A Mexican treat with training wheels if you will.

Website
http://www.steubenfoods.com/elmhurst-naturals
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 4 weeks ago
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Ripple Chocolate

Ripple Chocolate

For months this tub o’ milk substitute has been staring me down in the organic section of my local Wegmans. I think it’s mostly because even though I know the product is called Ripple, the way the typeface is on the bottle I always read it as Apple and subconsciously my taste buds are tricked into thinking that it was going to be some sort of delicious chocolate apple milk. The somewhat hefty price tag ($8 I believe) help me back from making the purchase. My ladyfriend finally pulled the trigger, because unaware to me it has also been pulling at her with its chocolatey siren’s call.

My first thought when I took as sip was a ridiculous disappointment. How on earth could I expect this to taste like apple when I knew it wasn’t at all is a secret my brain to will take to its grave. I can’t hold a lack of apple against the company when it was never promised in the first place.

My second thought was, well this isn’t really a sipping beverage. It’s a bit chalky and you can taste the plant protein in it (it comes from peas, luckily it tastes nothing like the semi-grossness of peas when they exist outside of a pot pie). It reminds me a lot of protein drinks, but less thick. I think the ideal use for this would be as a base for a smoothie. I can’t see myself drinking a full glass of this, or putting it on cereal, but I can see me mixing it with some peanut butter and such mixed up in a blender.

This is nothing I would spend money on for the price, but it does have its purposes if you have the disposable income.

Website
http://www.ripplefoods.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Other/Weird
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 9th, 2017
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Ripple Chocolate

Ripple Chocolate

"Nutritious Plant-Based Milk" isn't really milk at all, is it? I mean, you could argue that almond milk or soy milk isn't milk but I guess it's all in your definition of what "milk" is, now, isn't it? One thing I can say is that whether you call this milk or a plant-based milk, I can tell you that it is one thing, it's not that great.

It most certainly tastes like something is "up." It doesn't have the smoothness of milk. I don't want to say gritty but there is definitely some stuff up in there. I get that it's a nice alternative to dairy and for vegans, if you had the strength, you might do a backflip to hear that you've got another alternative to murderous milk.

This tastes like chocolate but as far as chocolate milk goes, it's definitely lacking in both sugar and chocolate. I'm not saying that as an insult but you might want to think of this as not only dairyless milk, but also think of it as "chocolate milk light" but put "light" in double quotes because this 12 ounce bottle still manages to cram 220 calories in her. It's a difficult battle, milk, but I suppose we can't let them have all the fun in Mootown.

Website
http://www.ripplefoods.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 26th, 2016
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Sneakz Strawberry Milkshake

Sneakz Strawberry Milkshake

For the life of me I have no idea why they have labeled this a milkshake. It’s not thick. There is no ice cream involved. It’s really just strawberry milk…with a bunch of veggies added. To be clear they are veggies that you also cannot taste. They are hidden nicely in the mix. Also to be clear, this doesn’t taste like Strawberry Quik either. It’s a different beast that is close, but not quite the same. It really just tastes like what I imagine people thought strawberry milk tasted like before Quik was invented. Did it even exist before then though? Is this a chicken/egg or a music/misery type situation? I guess it doesn’t matter. This tastes pretty good and you’re getting some vitamins from veggies. Kids will love it.

Website
http://www.sneakz.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 25th, 2016
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Sneakz Vanilla Milkshake

Sneakz Vanilla Milkshake

A couple of years ago when Sneakz was launched, it was less than stellar. The vegetable taste seeped through too much and when mixed with chocolate it was like someone used Hershey syrup as salad dressing. The company realized the error of their ways and corrected their formula into something that was more than just passable. They also expanded their line to include strawberry and this vanilla.
I’m assuming they used the same basic principles they developed for the new chocolate version and applied them to vanilla because I don’t taste vegetables in here at all. This is full of carrots, sweet potatoes, spinach and cauliflower but you would never know it by taking a sip. It’s all vanilla, but not in a cheap ice cream kind of way. It tastes like actually vanilla beans were used. You can’t ask for much more than that in a drink of this variety. You get ½ a serving of veggies and it tastes great. That’s a win all the way around.

Website
http://www.sneakz.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 10th, 2016
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REBBL Super Herb Elixer Turmeric Golden-Milk

REBBL Super Herb Elixer Turmeric Golden-Milk

I will start by saying; this wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The turmeric was pulled down by the coconut milk which is the featured player in this act. I actually wish that it was a bit stronger and it's already a pretty bold drink. I think the coconut is too strong and kills some of the spice of the turmeric. There is honey in here somewhere according to the ingredients but you can't taste it. At the end you get the sting of the turmeric but you have to really wait it out while the coconut milk flavor dies out.

I don't know if I would drink it again but this one bottle was good and I'm happy I was "forced" to drink it for the site otherwise I probably wouldn't have tried it.

Website
http://www.rebbltonic.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Stevia Extract
Categories
Coconut, Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 15th, 2016
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Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Dark Chocolate

Organic Valley Organic Balance Milk Protein Shake Dark Chocolate

There are some things that John wanted to do differently. One thing was more "liquid meals." No, not alcohol like when people say, "Hey. Want to get a liquid lunch?" Just to be able to drink more meals and more rapidly turn into vitamins and minerals versus wasting calories with traditional food. Look, John likes pizza and tacos as much as the next guy. He can't keep doing that every day, though. He needs to supplement. John loves chocolate so he figured what better way to replace one meal that he loved with another flavor that he loved?

He bought a case of the Organic Valley Dark Chocolate protein shake and just started replacing. Day after day, meal after meal he found himself enjoying life more and more. He had more time to spend with friends since a meal now took him five minutes versus the hour it took him before. His bosses noticed his dedication and gave him a little raise. Everyone at work saw him as a hard worker and gave him the respect he deserved. He enjoyed the taste. It wasn't chalky like some other protein drinks he's had in the past. It's dark chocolate but just barely.

John has gotten what he wanted and more. He really stuck to it and learned a few things; You spend a lot of your life thinking about food and eating and Janet in accounting eats subs every day of the week and still looks fine.

Website
http://www.organicvalley.coop/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Unrefined Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Milkshake
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 23rd, 2016
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Organic Valley Organic Balance, Dark Chocolate, 11 Ounce (Pack of 4)

Hershey's Strawberry

Hershey's Strawberry

I have not had strawberry milk since I was like fourteen. My friend Ian and I were sitting in his kitchen and drinking it and calling it "cow blood." Pretty morbid now that I think about it but we were fourteen. What did we know? Neither one of us had touched a boob. What else is there? We never drank. We didn't smoke. We just hung out all the time and played football in people's yards and hockey in people's driveways. We just hung out. We were all we knew and we were fine.

What we should have known was that this strawberry milk is complete garbage. Man. Now I know why I haven't had this stuff in like twenty years. It sucks. It tastes like candy strawberries but something about it still being milk makes me sick to my stomach. This is almost most certainly a "me" review and an opinion so don't get mad at me but I did not like this one bit. I don't really remember liking it back then which is probably why I haven't had any desire whatsoever to buy it.

Not for me. Ian, I'm telling you this now and I'm retroactively telling you this in 1994, I don't and never did like strawberry milk.

Website
http://www.hersheys.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on December 14th, 2015
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TruMoo Protein Plus Chocolate

TruMoo Protein Plus Chocolate

All the protein. I need all of it. I need to bulk up. Who has time for the gym. I'm going to slam all of the chocolate milks just to see what it would look like if I was chiseled out of marble. Wait...that's not how that works? I just cancelled my gym membership and in exchange spent my membership fee on chocolate milk. I've already drank eleven of them today.

Am I going to be alright? What poisoning? Protein poisoning? Really? Oh man. What do I do? Can I do a cranberry cleanse or something? Do I need to make myself throw up? Eleven milks. I can't believe I did that. How? Well it actually wasn't that hard. It tastes like a melted Wendy's Frosty. Who couldn't drink 154 ounces of Frosty. 154 ounces of chocolate milk? Oh man.

This day will go down in infamy as the one of the dumbest days of my life. I've got to reverse this by going on a cleanse. At least it wasn't a really rich, thick chocolate milk and was closer to the stuff you would make at home. I might have really put on some pounds. I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow. Probably a big poop. Hopefully a big poop.

Website
http://trumoo.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 26th, 2015
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Fairlife Ultra Filtered Milk Chocolate

Fairlife Ultra Filtered Milk Chocolate

Unlike Jay, I eat meat. That being said, if I can eat an animal that was treated fairly before he was, let's face it, murdered, that's better. Morrissey, while wildly militant about it, is right in that respect. He's right about a lot. He's Morrissey. This milk is advertised as being produced humanly and who can't appreciate that? Sure, there are probably some people out there talking about how they don't care how the animals are being treated as long as they have a hamburger on their plate at the end of a day.

Does this chocolate milk taste happier? Not really. I'm not saying that it tastes sadder. If anything, it tastes thicker. It's creamy chocolate milk, more so than anything you make at home and probably thicker than a Nesquik. Yes, there is sucralose in it and yes you can taste it but it doesn't come off as a super diet chocolate milk. It's better for you in terms of calories, protein and calcium than "regular chocolate milk." You wouldn't guess it because it's pretty rich and if you didn't know better, tastes like it is not at all better for you than "the other guys" chocolate milk.


Our buddy Marvo over The Impulsive Buy reviewed this drink, too which reminded me that I had it in my queue. Now, all thanks to him, I really want another glass of it. You've done it again, Marvo.

Website
http://fairlife.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Milk
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 16th, 2015
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FairLife Chocolate Reduced Fat Milk 2-1.5 L bottles
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