United States (4109 reviews)

Limitless Lightly Caffeinated Sparkling Water Blood Orange

Limitless Lightly Caffeinated Sparkling Water Blood Orange

This seemed interesting. At first glance I thought, “This would be something good to get me through a long work day. No sugar. No calories. It’s simply seltzer water with some caffeine added to it.” This had the potential to be a “healthy” morning beverage for those of us who do not drink coffee. Yes, the caffeine is derived from green coffee beans, but there is no coffee flavoring in here at all. In fact the downfall of this product is that there isn’t much flavoring at all. Before you start to argue that seltzer isn’t a very flavorful beverage by design, I very much know that, and I embrace the sparkling beverage for it. This can had minimal blood orange flavoring to it. It tasted more like a seltzer that had been left open for a long time and the flavor dissipated with the bubbles (this was still carbonated though). The natural caffeine also added a little bit of flavor around the edges, which I could have done without. Overall this was fairly bland and that is from someone who drinks seltzer, water, and unsweetened tea all day.

Website
http://limitlesscoffee.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Energy Drink, Sparkling, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 7 hours, 52 minutes ago
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Red Bull Sugar Free The Lime Edition

Red Bull Sugar Free The Lime Edition

So picture this, I’m at the gym, attempting to improve my mental health and lost some of the vanilla pudding that has formed on my human frame as I have aged nearly into my fourth decade on this planet. I had just finished running a few miles on the treadmill and then began to use the weight lifting machines, when I notice that there are a pair of women walking around the gym with cooler backpacks handing out cans of Red Bull to people as they work out. First off, that is jut weird and kind of not acceptable. To me the gym is a place that you do not interact with people unless you are asking them if they are finished with a machine, or you are calling them out for being a creep and checking out other human people in their sweaty state. Secondly, you can bet your ass that as soon as I was done with a set of reps I approached them before they could approach me and I got a can from them. The interaction was inevitable, so I was proactive about it to get it over and of course I was going to take a free sample.

We have really slacked on Red Bull reviews because I had heard some unsavory things about the people who run the company, which ended up being not accurate upon doing some research. I was glad to give the newer flavors a try, especially when it was free. This though, was not what I wanted. I actually prefer the sugar free Red Bull to the original variety, and I was hoping this would go the same route. Unfortunately that was not the case. This is supposed to be limeade, but it was not like they added lime to a normal diet Red Bull. Instead it’s a new beast that just tastes like a tiny bit of lime mixed in with a whole lot of sucralose grossness. Here are my parting words for the company; Just add flavoring to your original base products for these “new” flavors, and teach your representatives what appropriate venues to hand out samples are. The way things are going I can only assume after the gym they were heading to a funeral to pass out samples.

Website
http://www.redbull.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 1 day ago
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7 Eleven Black Tea

7 Eleven Black Tea

Fantastic.

I love this. It's got a great maple syrup taste but doesn't taste like you're drinking tea to wash down some delicious pancakes. It's nice. It's not too sweet and the tea tastes pretty great, too. This is a repeat purchase. They also have a green tea that would be pretty interesting with maple syrup. I feel like I've had black tea with maple syrup but not green. I feel like that will come across the ol' Thirsty Dudes desk sooner than later.

Go grab one. I feel like 7-Eleven cycles through their own drinks rather quickly so if this sounds good to you, you might want to get on the unicycle you stupidly use for public transportation and head towards the nearest 7-Eleven. If your 7-Elevens are anything like ours, some of them might have closed recently so, like the nearest exits on an airplane, they might be behind you.

Website
http://www.7-eleven.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Maple Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 week, 1 day ago
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Poland Spring Black Cherry

Poland Spring Black Cherry

I'm New York City. Can you tell? Have you seen Jay and I taking the city by storm? We're truly crushing this place. We've eaten all day. We've walked basically one hundred miles. We've seen things, man.

We're eating and drinking and eating and drinking. After doing that for a day and a half, we needed to calm down and drink some seltzer.

You already know what it is, mang. It's black cherry seltzer. I can't believe we haven't drank it before. It's somehow smooth and is super refreshing. You care. You should care. These drinks are important. Who cares about your diet. You look great. Keep drinking seltzer.

Website
http://www.polandspring.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 week, 4 days ago
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Coca-Cola California Raspberry

Coca-Cola California Raspberry

Look what finally showed up in Western New York. I know these have been out for a while now, and I have been keeping my eyes open, but it took months to make it to my market. Was it worth the wait? Hmmmm…I guess so. It’s pretty damn tasty. If you know me and my beverage drinking habits, then you probably know that I have a real soft spot for Cherry Coke. When I’m completely exhausted and thirsty as all hell, there is just something about an ice cold can of Cherry Coke that satisfies me like no other beverage can. Welp, that sound mega ultra creepy. I assure you all of the pleasure culminates in my taste buds. This is very similar to that, with just a little more in the flavor. I’m not sure if it’s better or worse. I think I may prefer the old standby because I associate so many life events with it. This is new and it’s going to take some building. It certainly has a raspberry flavor to it, but it is a bit syrupy. A few friends said it tasted like cough syrup. I don’t agree with them at all. This is coke with raspberry in it. It’s exactly what you would expect and that is nothing to slouch at.

Website
http://www.coca-cola.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks ago
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Hydro One True Green Tea

Hydro One True Green Tea

Lot's of science in this bottle. Not a lot of ingredients but the ingredients in there are very much one of two things:
1: Scientific names for simple ingredients.
2: Scientific ingredients.

Either way let me put into terms that idiots like you and myself can understand:
This is lightly sweetened green tea. It's ultra-slightly bitter like a green tea should be and some of that bitterness is from the Reb A/Stevia alternative sweetener. It has zero calories and doesn't taste like something your divorced aunt would give you the two times a month you visit her disgusting apartment.

There are a whole lot of empty promises about how this will help you lose weight but it's all based off the promise that you will continuously buy this drink in hopes that you lower your calorie count. While it's not a false claim, this drink doesn't do anything but quench your thirst. It tastes good. I would drink it again but I wouldn't hold it to any sort of standards or promises. That would be ignorant of me. I'm stupid, not ignorant.

Website
http://https://hydroonebeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Rebaudioside
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 2 weeks, 1 day ago
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Blume Honey Water Ginger Zest

Blume Honey Water Ginger Zest

I’m sure this is not something that a beverage company would ideally want to be associated with, but this would be perfect if you were feeling under the weather. It doesn’t really make me think of cough drops or anything like that, it just seems like it would be a nice relief if you had a sore throat or a cold. It’s honey, ginger, and lemon; that just screams soothing to me. If you drank this hot I feel like it could cure anything, well you know any sort of minor ailment, not a life threatening disease. It’s not magic.

The honey is very strong in this and the ginger has just the slightest burn to it. It’s certainly not a gulping beverage, but I cold sip on this all day long. Whether I am sick, or just looking for something that tastes delicious, this drink is there for me.

Website
http://https://www.blumehoneywater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Honey
Categories
Ginger, Other/Weird, Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 1 day ago
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Hydro One REVd Blueberry & Pomegranate

Hydro One REVd Blueberry & Pomegranate

When things clearly say “Sugar Free” on them it makes me nervous. Artificial sweeteners should be filed directly in the filth bin and natural zero calorie sweeteners, while slightly more palatable, are really no prize. Typically I would prefer zero added sweeteners to something with zero calories. Hydro One has things worked out that make their products exceptions though. The beverages are sweetened with a mixture of Xylitol and Stevia, but for some reason they don’t cut through the flavor of the drink like nearly every other “diet” beverage out there. I believe that reason is the addition of cinnamon. I don’t know if it just happens to fall in the same taste spectrum, but where I would normally taste any variety of diet flavors, all I really get is a faint cinnamon taste. I am really on board with that.

As with the other flavors, to me this is a better version of a diet Vitamin Water. There is definitely a water base, as it is not thick like juice. The blueberry and pomegranate are not super strong, but are there more than enough to give it a proper flavoring. Of course there is that cinnamon riding through it all as well. This is a good option for those watching their sugar or calorie intake.

Website
http://https://hydroonebeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Xylitol
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 3 days ago
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Polar Seltzer Jr. Pixie Lights

Polar Seltzer Jr. Pixie Lights

Polar’s Seltzer Jr line is back (from what I hear, to stay) and this time they brought two new friends with them. One of them is this little fella that goes by the name Pixie Lights. From the picture on the tiny can one would assume that the New England based company is insinuating that fireflies are really just little pixies, riding around on tiny lightbulbs. Don’t worry though, they wear itsy bitsy crash helmets so it’s all done safely.

Due to the name I really wanted this to somehow taste like Pixie Stix candy or you know like Red Bull without any sweetener added to it. I knew I wasn’t going to be getting what I hoped before I even took a sip. Could something really taste like flavored granulated sugar though that has no sugar in it? In reality what I got was a lightly floral citrus taste that I can’t really pinpoint. It’s not lemon, lime, orange or grapefruit. Maybe it’s something exotic like starfruit. Is starfruit a citrus? It could maybe be the seltzer taste/bubbles that keeps making me think of citrus. Whatever it is it’s light and refreshing , which is what I want out of seltzer.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 6 days ago
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Matcha Love Unsweetened Japanese Matcha + Vanilla

Matcha Love Unsweetened Japanese Matcha + Vanilla

This is not what I expected. It's less bitter and bold than other matcha I have drink/drank/drunk. You don't get a lot of really anything. It tastes like "tea" and a watered down tea at that. It tastes like a green tea but it's only slightly bitter. I don't know about this, man. It's like they only had a little bit of mix and had to make a lot of drinks and they had to stretch it out. "Hey kids, I've got one pack of single serve Kool-Aid and there are four of us so we have to make due, alright?" While I don't mind, and have been known to water down my own drinks, this seems like a wasted attempt. Also, wut vanilla? It's not bad but it's also not much of anything and certainly nothing to write home about. Do we have to change that phrase? Are enough people writing home that we need to keep it? The alternative, which is unfortunate is something abysmal like, "This drink is nothing to text your daddy about." Begrudging and shuttering.

Website
http://www.itoen.com/matcha_love
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 3 weeks ago
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