Monster (13 reviews)
Monster Energy + Juice Mixxd
You're fading fast. You've had a long day at the office. You know, "the grind", and it's time you let loose. Take that tie off and put it around your head because nothing says "loose" like a tie on your head. Your boss rides you really hard but he's not here. You just relax; there aren't any co-workers in here. Go crazy. Stay out past ten. Drink some of that great looking grape punch. Gah! What happened to the punch?! Did someone spike the punch? What is this, a John Hughes film? Spiking the punch. Really? What did they spike it with? Did they spike it with an energy drink and some sort of liquor? What's happening?
Are you feeling alright? You're feeling energized? That's awesome. You've feeling like you've been alcoholized? Well that's not what you want. You wanted to have a good time and now look at you. You're in rougher shape than before you came to this non-work related party. You don't even drink and now you're a wreck. You've got to get to the bottom of this. "Who did this?" you ask, "Who dumped this stuff in the juice? My first glass was great and then subsequent glasses were less than great. Who's the wise guy?" Less than ten seconds later a kid said that he poured some Monster in there because he wanted to pump the party up. He was bored and now you're suffering the consequences. Thanks kid.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/22/2012
Monster Energy Heavy Metal
It's only fitting that I write this while listening to a classic metal band. I chose Iron Maiden's album "Piece of Mind" as the soundtrack for this behemoth of an energy drink. Sure it doesn't look that big in that picture, but check out what it looks like next to 12 and 16 oz cans: http://instagr.am/p/geEO7/.
I can easily say this is the biggest energy drink I've ever seen. Even the snapping sound it let off when I opened the can was a little intimating. Despite the similar appearance, this isn't just a repackaging of the original Monster flavor, which is good. It tastes similar to it, but is much lighter ironically. I would probably drink this every once in a while if it weren’t for the can. The size of the can is very impractical to drink, unless you just want a workout. Or perhaps as a joke gift. I wonder how many of these will make an appearance at Maryland Deathfest this year.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 1/12/2012
Monster Rehab Green Tea + Energy
The lemonade + iced tea Monster Rehab has been my favorite energy drink ever since Jay wrote this review. While I tour I came across three new Monster Rehab flavors. I was so excited that I almost forgot to pay for them.
Even though green tea isn't my favorite tea, I decided to try this one first. To my surprise, it doesn't have a strong green tea taste. It's slight, but not prominent. Much like the original Rehab, this is not carbonated and tastes delicious. I'm still partial to the half and half flavor, but this is still worlds better than most energy drinks on the market.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Glucose
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 12/22/2011
Monster Java Originale
For some people, coffee is not enough. For some people, energy drinks are not enough. For the rest, you've got to combine caffeine with caffeine and hope for the best. I am no nutritionist, but I am a scientist and I would say that this could not be worse for you than anything else you could drink.
Ignoring all nutritional value, which in this case, if it weren't for the FDA demanding that legitimate numbers be printed on the back of all food, should just say "Bad." Oh sure, there is a ton of vitamin B in there, but who cares? I think my mom takes a B12 for memory. Her memory is fine, but she takes it. I think it's a girl thing, like how all girls have anemia, but probably don't, they just all think that they should because their mom's told them to take it.
One thing your mom or dad is not going to turn you on to is this. It's not bad, but if your parents care about you, they won't let you have this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're an adult and you can make your own decisions. You're such a rebel. Look, you're not sixteen anymore. Make up with your parents and see what they've been up to. No one cares that you don't get along with your daddy and it's unfortunate. Bury the hatchet about that thing that happened at Thanksgiving twelve years ago and get a steak with your friggin' dad.
It doesn't taste like an energy drink, but it also doesn't taste like coffee. It kind of tastes like a liquidy coffee iced cream. Perhaps with some diet action to it. Your mom wouldn't like it. Your daddy wouldn't like it. Your boss might like it, but your boss is always a bit juiced up.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Coffee, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/5/2011
- Buy Now
- Name Your Link
Monster Hammer X-Presso
A lot going on. But there always is, isn't there -- a lot going on?
A classic line from the classic...er movie "Made" with Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau. That line defines this drink to a T. Tee? Tea? Who cares, am I right?
In one corner of the royal rumble, you've got the Monster name. With that, you expect that "trillion Smarties" taste. You don't get it in this drink, but you expect it.
In another corner, you've got a coffee taste. It's not too bad. It's definitely more than a basic, poor person coffee taste. It's compressed, like Monster has hired ex-baristas and are just having them compress coffee in an underground shack for this drink.
In the third corner of the world's strangest wrastlin' ring, the sweetness. It's regular first, and then it gets a little diet-y. There is sucralose in there, but it is tolerable. It's pretty masked by a lot of the other flavors that are going on, hitting each other in the heads with folding chairs from your aunt's dumb basement party. Why does she have parties and gatherings in the basement when she has a perfectly clean and functioning upstairs?
In the fourth and final corner, there is milk. Milk is kind of like the ref in this game. While the drama is going on with the other wrestlers, the ref literally smoothes everything out. He's a nice guy. He smoothes everything out in the ring and before that, he refs his kid's T-Ball game.
I didn't hate this as much as I thought that I would. That says a lot.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 11/11/2011
Monster Energy Absolutely Zero
The packaging makes this drink look like it's going to be ice cold. Like when mints have that weird coldness to it. I didn't expect it to be minty, but I hoped it would have the same freezing effect. It ended up just tasting like a regular diet energy drink. When Dan first opened it and took a sip he said it was pretty gross. I expected the worst, but it tasted fairly average to me. Underneath all of that chemical energy it took a second for my taste buds to register that it was even diet.
In the end this is one of the best diet energy drinks that I've tried. With no sugar or calories it's also probably one of the "healthiest" I've ever had as well. To be fair neither of those are really that crazy of achievements.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/5/2011
Monster Assault Energy
I never understood why people think camo is "cool". In high school, so many people wore camo pants but I never understood it. They just looked like more generic Zubaz pants. Camo was invented to stay hidden. Urban camo pants aren't going to help you sneak out of your 3rd period science class. I also always associate camo with hunting and military, both of which I don't like.
The camo on this can is a modern "digital" camo. I'm sure there's a real name for it, but I'm calling it "digital camo" because it looks like an 8 bit video game. If I worked for Monster's art department, I would have hidden a couple classic NES characters in the design. If Nintendo tried to sue them, they could just point out that there's one pixel different.
Oh yeah, the drink. It's red, and it tastes like cherries. Pretty original huh? Like most Monster drinks, it's really tart which I like. It still has that energy drink after taste. On top of that, I'm drinking this on an empty stomach so it doesn't feel awesome. I didn't intend to drink it before I ate, my vegan potpie is just taking way too long to bake and I was thirsty. Lesson learned: thaw vegan pot pies beforehand so they cook faster.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 6/28/2011
Monster Lo-Carb Energy
What is it with energy drinks tasting like melted sugary candy? Red Bull tastes exactly like liquid Smarties. I challenge you to debate that. And this one? This tastes like liquid Sweet Tarts. I can just picture the energy drink scientists at Monster with their white lab coats developing the next delicious energy drink. Runts? Nah, not many people like the bananas. Nerds? Way too many flavors, it would be a cornucopia of flavors and confuse people's taste buds. How about Sweet Tarts? Hmmm, tangy, sweet, and delicious! It's a winner!
Well, maybe not a winner overall. It's good, but not great. There are much worse diet energy drinks out there. This tastes more sweet than acidic for a diet drink, which is very nice. But at the end of the day, I'd rather have a non-diet energy drink.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Glucose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 6/27/2011
Monster Nitrous Anti Gravity
I love energy drinks. I used to try them all out of curiosity long before this site was around. What's great about them is they really work! I stayed up all night hanging out with my friend Biff until 6am, and I had to wake up at 11 to meet some friends for lunch. So I'm dead tired right now.
The unfortunate thing about energy drinks is most of them are gross. Some that I've tasted over the years puzzle me how bad they are. Monster usually is good so I decided to give this flavor a try. I had a feeling this was going to be Orange flavored due to the can color, and I was right. More so, it has a great orange flavor. It tastes more like Orange soda than an energy drink. This is easily one of the best I've ever had. I'm already energized!
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 5/20/2011
Monster Energy
I can safely say I am an energy drink connoisseur. I do my best work late at night so naturally I am a night owl. I have easily tried 50 different energy drinks over the past 10 years and I always seem to come back to the original Monster flavor. It has a strong citrus flavor. It also sometimes reminds me of sour apple. Like most energy drinks, it has that usual energy drink battery acid chemical taste. I feel like it isn't as bad with this kind though, but it may be because I got used to it.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 5/1/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
