Monster (25 reviews)
Monster Java Kona Cappuccino
I don't know what it's like to not be able to live without coffee. I always attribute it to an addiction. I suppose it's not hard to not be addicted to coffee when you don't particularly enjoy coffee. Saying that is like saying, "Yeah, I could be addicted to crystal meth but I don't like crystal meth so I don't do it." This isn't something even a coffee fiend could get addicted to, though. I don't know a lot about coffee but I feel that this is a bit too acidic and too sweet for even the most budding of coffee addicts. It is sweet and it is smooth and it doesn't taste like an energy drink which, insultingly so, is the mark for a good energy drink. It's a tad diet tasting due to the sucrose but it's not terrible. It does have a lingering sub-par coffee taste which isn't too offensive.
Honestly though, I don't know if this is technically an energy drink or a coffee drink. Isn't coffee an energy drink in itself? This could be the two mixed together for all I know and who needs coffee, and energy drink, and an energy drink? You need to calm down, buddy. Get some sleep. You need sleep more than you need energy. You might also need some water. Cleanse your body a little bit. Now that I'm looking at you, you could stand to get some exercise, too. I know, it's mean, but we're friends, right? I'm being honest.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Coffee, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 2 days, 9 hours ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Monster Rehab Tea + Pink Lemonade + Energy
Am I the only one who feels like non-carbonated energy drinks don’t work? Even thought I know they have the exact same energy giving ingredients, the absence of thousands of tiny bubbles tricks my brain into thinking that I will not be awake for much longer. Well brain, learn to work properly because I can assure you this does provide the burst of energy that it sells you on. It’s been awhile since I have physically been able to feel an energy drink, and I’m sure my nearly empty stomach played a supporting role in that.
Monster hit the nail on the head when they decided to mix their energy formula with tea and lemonade. They use a nice mixture of brewed black and green tea, instead of some garbage powder. That mixed with the pink lemonade it tastes wonderfully like summer and it does a great job of masking the typical energy drink flavor. It also 95% hides the taste of the sucralose used to sweeten this. This is decent tasting lemonade that has only 6g of sugar in the entire can. That’s some kind of magic right there. By the way what is in pink lemonade that makes it pink? Online tells me it’s just dye, but it taste different to me.
On top of this tasting great and giving you a healthy dose of hopped up energy it also has coconut water and a bunch of antioxidant rich fruits to help you recover from a rough night of some crazy scavenger hunt that you were more than likely on. I mean that’s how everyone spends their weeknights, right? Oh, and the secret to winning is to find the name of the baby gorilla buried in the pet cemetery, and get that can of Mello Yellow, no matter what.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Iced Tea, Lemonade
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 6 days, 3 hours ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Monster Dub Edition Baller's Blend Punch Energy
This morning Mike and I had a meeting at the local Coke bottling facility. Our new friends there told us about what they do and about the new products coming out. Once that concluded we were taken on a tour of the warehouse/bottling section. Everything was normal and on the up and up until we came to a make shift boxing ring tucked away in a back corner. When we questioned its existence, our tour guide gave us a sly smile and tossed us a can of this new Monster Baller’s Blend. He said it was a way to promote the new SKU inside the company. Every week the warehouse employees downed a can of this fruit punch flavored energy drink and had it out in the ring to see who would take the upcoming weekend shifts.
We were in luck because the week’s fights were just about to start. We sat there as approximately two dozen employees cracked open a case of Punch Energy and used their keys to pop holes in them and shotgunned the hell out of those cans. Mike and I watched on as we sipped our can. It was surprisingly good. We were actually taken aback by how decent it was. When we think of a fruit punch energy drink the only image in my mind was an overly sweet cheap tasting syrupy mess. Luckily the liquid inside has a nice fruit punch flavor that doesn’t seem too childish. I believe that was due to the fact that it’s sweetened with sugar, so it’s not too syrupy and the slight general energy drink flavor gave it a more adult taste.
We only had time to watch the first couple fights, but let me tell you those warehouse guys were no joke. This was an all out bare-knuckle brawl, with a bunch of grown men who were all sorts of amped up on energy punch. The second forklift operator lost at least one tooth that I saw. I guess when you’re weekend is at risk and the weather finally getting nice out, you’re gonna do what you have to do for some time in the sun. The invited Mike and I to go a few rounds against each other for the titled of Duke of the Dudes of Thirst, but we politely declined. There were tacos in our future and we didn’t want to take a chance of ruining that with bloody lips and black eyes. Instead we downed the last few sips of our tasty beverages, said our goodbyes and made our way out into the wild world of taquerias.
As you may have guess by that last line, none of this is actually true, except that we did have a tour/meeting and we drank this surprisingly good beverage. There are no real taquerias in Buffalo, and that is the shame of our city.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 1 week, 2 days ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Monster Energy Ultra Blue
Quote direct from the can: "Ultra Blue is a little less sweet and lighter tasting with zero calories..."
They had me at less sweet. I love Monster energy drinks, but some are ridiculously sugary to the point that I feel like I’m developing a new cavity with every sip. Every word in their quote rings true. Well I can't scientifically prove that there are no calories in this, it tastes like a non-gross diet drink. My guess is due to them using erythritol to sweeten it. Not only does it taste good for a zero calorie sweetener, it's actually good for your teeth!
"Erythritol has been certified as tooth-friendly. The sugar alcohol cannot be metabolized by oral bacteria, so does not contribute to tooth decay. Interestingly, erythritol exhibits some, but not all, of xylitol's tendency to "starve" harmful bacteria."
So next time your mom or dad tells you energy drinks are rotting your teeth, as long as it's sweetened with erythritol you have a great argument.
Overall this is a great energy drink, it is delicious and light and the perfect amount of sweetness. The flavor is hard to pin point, it has a grapefruit taste to it but also has that classic "Monster" taste to it as well. The can is textured like they have been doing with their recent releases and I like it.
post script: Due to the name of this drink, "Ultra Blue", I thought it was beer at first and got really confused when it was next to the other Monster drinks.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland 2 weeks, 2 days ago
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Monster Energy + Juice M-80
For some reason when Monster adds juice to their energy drinks they give them some sort of destructive name. Their tangerine/pineapple one is called Khaos and this one, which is more tropical, is called M-80. I don’t know what juice has to do with causing trouble, but Monster has embraced it. Apparently their marketing department thinks that kids go to the grocery store, chug a few gallons of juice and then go out and blow up frogs and mailboxes. I’m all for blowing stuff up (well not frogs), but I don’t need juice to do it. Any beverage will do. I mean, you have to stay hydrated.
Now Khaos is one of my favorite energy drinks. It tastes more like juice than anything else, but something went wrong when they were developing M-80. It has apple, passion fruit, pineapple and guava juice in it. It should be a home run. I was fully expecting it to be the best energy drink I’ve ever tasted, but as I said something got mixed up. It has more of a general Monster flavor with a bit a generic tropical mixed in than it does any of the individual fruit juices that are combined to make it. None of the individual juices are distinguishable. The more I drank, the less I liked it. I would have preferred an original Monster with it’s generic energy drink flavor over this. You can’t win them all.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Glucose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/8/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Monster X-Presso Midnite
We are a website about honesty. We tell it how it is all the time and for this installment of the "Truth Doctors" I will tell you that I expected this drink to suck big time. I am a sexy man enough man to admit that it did not suck. It was a little boring but it didn't pass the threshold of "suck." It was a bit dull, like if you had an average coffee and masked it with some sugar and whatever the heck nitrogenated coffee is. I assume due to my (zero) years as a scientist it is coffee with nitrogen injected into it but what do I know, I'm just a (self proclaimed) scientist? It's not as good as standard espresso and milk and sugar drinks but I never expected it to be. It lies on the spectrum higher than I thought it was going to be with a little bit of sweetness and no gross energy drink taste. Also, it shows a fake cross section of the drink and it labels the top two inches of the can as the "foam zone" which I, for some reason, find very amusing.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/21/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Monster Rehab Protean + Energy
UGH! That is what I exclaimed when I first took a sip of this. I have enjoyed all the other Monster Rehab drinks, but this is borderline undrinkable. It tastes like someone was potting a plant next to it and accidentally got some of the soil inside. They tried to filter all the soil out, but the taste was still there and they just hoped no one would notice.
Well I noticed and it sucks. I hate wasting drinks but I can't even take a third sip.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Glucose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 1/23/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Monster Energy Zero Ultra
First impression: this can looks like a "fancy" designer t-shirt you would find at a flea market for $9.99. Also, (much like the Monster Cuba-Lima) this can is textured, adding to the weird image I have of a 11 year old wannabe gangsta from the suburbs exclaiming "Whoa, that can matches my shirt!" which his mom bought him in the boys section of JC Penny. The name of this drink also seems like something said kid (let's call him Chad) would have made up 2 years prior as he was watching Power Rangers Ninja Storm.
Of course Chad will deny he made up his own Power Ranger named Zero Ultra when he's drinking this, even if he secretly still has the cover he drew of Zero Ultra Comics #1 in his closet. Six months from now he will also stop wearing this weird patterned shirt that matches this because his "cooler" friend will say it isn't cool anymore. But at least Chad had a moment where he was a trendsetter and Monster was behind on the times for once.
It's a shame the can and name of this drink are so bad because the drink is actually really good. It tastes like a Squirt snow cone. It's smooth and refreshing, and isn't as sweet as most energy drinks. My advice to Monster: keep making the textured cans, but design the cans better.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 1/11/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Monster Cuba-Lima
Wait, so you’re telling me that star of Boyz in the Hood, Cuba Gooding Jr, has his own special edition flavor of Monster energy drink? Can you drive stick? Oh no, you can only drive shifter cars like the Cadillac Eldorado? Oh, this drink really has nothing to do with Mr Gooding…Jr? In reality it’s a play on a Cuban alcoholic beverage? Well, I can’t say I care much about that. What I do care about is the son of Furious Styles and the sweet texture of this can. It’s like an aluminum version of concrete. Oh, you want to know about the flavor of this and not my thoughts on a cinematic masterpiece? Well it tastes like regular Monster with some lime mixed in. It has a real lime flavor too, not that fake Freezie Pop flavor either. Now show me the Doughboy!
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 11/23/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Monster Rehab Tea + Orangeade + Energy
Last night I participated in the 4th annual Portland 24 Hour Zine Challenge. From 10am on Saturday to 10am today, a bunch of nerdy zine kids went to the Independent Publishing Resource Center and each made a 24-page zine within the 24 hours. I wrote mine about every house/apartment I have ever lived in (there has been many) and I finished with 5 hours to spare.
This wonderful drink definitely helped a lot. In recent times I have significantly cut back my energy drink intake in fear of making my heart explode. When I was getting snacks and drinks for the challenge, I was excited to find this because I had never seen this rehab flavor before. All the ones I’ve had thus far were delicious, and this was no different. It has a slight energy drink aftertaste, but for the most part it tastes like iced tea and Sunny D. Some might recoil at the sound of that, but I love the flavor of Sunny D. There's real orange juice in it so maybe it was just in my head.
So next time you need to make a zine in 24 hours, this will definitely do the trick.
- Website
- http://www.monsterenergy.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 7/22/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
