Glucose (16 reviews)

Rockstar Recovery Energy/Tea/Lemonade

Rockstar Recovery Energy/Tea/Lemonade

First let’s look at the pros:
This is a non-carbonated energy drink. While it’s not entirely novel, but it’s a nice option regardless. On top of that it is also an iced tea energy drink. Something about that makes it seem more natural, even though there are unnatural things afoot. The sugar content is on the lower side for these types of drinks, which is always appreciated. The final plus is that it doesn’t taste like a typical energy drink. The weird chemical candy taste is not present at all. When companies can achieve that, they get my attention.

Now on to the cons:
This smells like a cheap lemon flavored iced tea, and the taste is right there as well. This tastes like it should be a close relative to Brisk. While that may be a very good thing for some people, I personally am not a fan of that fake tea taste. In fact, this doesn’t taste like a “half and half” at all. There is no classic lemonade flavor in this can, it’s just an overly lemon iced tea. Again, perhaps that’s good for some, but I’m not on board. The final con is that along with the glucose this also has sucralose in it. That is the reason for the lower levels of sugar, but it also takes the flavor down a notch as you get hints of diet occasionally.

There it is. Take these lists and decide for yourself if this is the kind of thing you want to put in your body or not. I personally did not make it through the entire can.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on November 27th, 2013
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16 Pack - Rockstar Recovery Energy / Hydration - Tea / Lemonade - 15.5oz.

Monster Energy + Juice M-80

Monster Energy + Juice M-80

For some reason when Monster adds juice to their energy drinks they give them some sort of destructive name. Their tangerine/pineapple one is called Khaos and this one, which is more tropical, is called M-80. I don’t know what juice has to do with causing trouble, but Monster has embraced it. Apparently their marketing department thinks that kids go to the grocery store, chug a few gallons of juice and then go out and blow up frogs and mailboxes. I’m all for blowing stuff up (well not frogs), but I don’t need juice to do it. Any beverage will do. I mean, you have to stay hydrated.

Now Khaos is one of my favorite energy drinks. It tastes more like juice than anything else, but something went wrong when they were developing M-80. It has apple, passion fruit, pineapple and guava juice in it. It should be a home run. I was fully expecting it to be the best energy drink I’ve ever tasted, but as I said something got mixed up. It has more of a general Monster flavor with a bit a generic tropical mixed in than it does any of the individual fruit juices that are combined to make it. None of the individual juices are distinguishable. The more I drank, the less I liked it. I would have preferred an original Monster with it’s generic energy drink flavor over this. You can’t win them all.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 8th, 2013
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Monster Energy Drink, M-80, 16-Ounce Cans (Pack of 24)

Venom Energy Mojave Rattler

Venom Energy Mojave Rattler

I wonder why this company didn't try and get some Spider Man 3 sponsorship when that movie was coming out. It would have been perfect and tons of comic nerds (like myself) would have bought it just for the bottle. It would have been a lot better than the Spencer Gifts all over print looking snake eye they have on the bottle.

It's a pretty tasty energy drink. Nothing I'd run out and get again, but it tastes like sugary purple drink. It definitely tastes better than it looks.

Website
http://www.venomenergy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on February 13th, 2013
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Venom Energy Drink - Mojave Rattler Low Calorie (16 ounce can) 24 pack

Monster Rehab Protean + Energy

Monster Rehab Protean + Energy

UGH! That is what I exclaimed when I first took a sip of this. I have enjoyed all the other Monster Rehab drinks, but this is borderline undrinkable. It tastes like someone was potting a plant next to it and accidentally got some of the soil inside. They tried to filter all the soil out, but the taste was still there and they just hoped no one would notice.

Well I noticed and it sucks. I hate wasting drinks but I can't even take a third sip.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on January 23rd, 2013
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8 Pack - Monster Rehab - Protean + Energy - 15.5oz

Monster Hitman

Monster Hitman

If this drink were a person, it would be Arnold Schwarzenegger circa 1970 while he was giving it his all to become Mr. Olympia. Every sip is beating the living crap out of me. You all know that I've been around like a lot lizard at a trucker’s parking lot convention when it comes to drinks. This one is downright violent. Every baby sip tastes like I'm drinking a thick, syrupy monster that is just so concentrated that mentally, my brain is telling my I made a mistake by not mixing it with water. Like if you put a packet of Kool-Aid into a shot of water. That's how I feel.

This is a strong drink. You know how big Arnold is. You know how big Lou Ferrigno is. These are the people that I'm comparing to this drink. It's an energy drink. It tastes like an energy drink. It's like a double shot of liquefied candy. It's G.D. brutal. Mind meltingly intense. I can say, without a doubt, this will give you energy. I can say, without a doubt, this will give you "bad" energy. I say, without a doubt, that you will make the same "Ooohhh" face with every sip that I did.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink, Shot
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 20th, 2012
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Monster Hitman Energy Shooter, 3 Oz

Monster Rehab Green Tea + Energy

Monster Rehab Green Tea + Energy

The lemonade + iced tea Monster Rehab has been my favorite energy drink ever since Jay wrote this review. While I tour I came across three new Monster Rehab flavors. I was so excited that I almost forgot to pay for them.

Even though green tea isn't my favorite tea, I decided to try this one first. To my surprise, it doesn't have a strong green tea taste. It's slight, but not prominent. Much like the original Rehab, this is not carbonated and tastes delicious. I'm still partial to the half and half flavor, but this is still worlds better than most energy drinks on the market.

Website
http://www.monsterenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on December 22nd, 2011
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MONSTER ENERGY Rehab Energy Drink, Green, 15.5-Ounce (Pack of 24)

Samba Energy Juice

Samba Energy Juice

It feels nice to consume an energy drink for a change that doesn't feel like it's killing you. I know a lot of people who think Rumba is the best energy drink on the market. I can understand why; it's 100% juice, it delicious, and it's much better for you than other energy drinks.

But what about the Samba flavor? It also is 100% juice but I got a mouthful of a flavor I don't really like when I sipped it: cranberry juice. I've been trying for over 20 years to like cranberries, but I still can't do it. They are one of my most hated fruits. If you love cranberries then you'll love this. You might even want to marry it. Although, if you're like me, and cranberry anything makes you gag, stay away from this fun looking can.

Website
http://www.rumbaenergyjuice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink, Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on October 16th, 2011
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Harcos Laboratories Energy Potion Zombie Blood

Harcos Laboratories  Energy Potion  Zombie Blood

Are you sick and tired of worrying about the impending zombie apocalypse? Does it keep you up at night thinking about the day when you and your family will be attacked and the walking dead will rip the flesh from your bones in order to get to your sweet, sweet brain nectar? Harcos Laboratories has a new product to put your mind at ease.

After years of research, and movie watching, it was scientifically proven that zombie's do not attack their own kind. With this knowledge Harcos employees worked long and hard in the lab to come up with a syrup derived from actual zombie blood that will cause the imbiber to give off certain pheromones that will trick the living dead into thinking you have already been turned. In layman's terms your brains will smell like butt-soup to them instead of sizzling prime rib.

It's lucky for us that zombie blood in its natural state tastes like melted green freezie pops. The difference is that downing this I.V. pouch won't make you cough like the dickens. Unlike the mind, it's not a terrible thing to taste. It is also has added ingredients to give you extra energy to run to safety in case you are in the .01 percentile that are unaffected by the blood of reanimated corpses.


************************************************************************
We originally reviewed this for a Halloween drink article we did for Auxiliary Magazine. To read the full article and to check out the awesome magazine go to http://auxiliarymagazine.com.

Website
http://harcoslabs.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 15th, 2011
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Energy Drink Zombie Blood Energy Potion

Gazzu Low-Carb Energy Drink

Gazzu Low-Carb Energy Drink

I didn't even have to open this to determine what it would taste like. The can is obviously trying to replicate Monster energy drinks so I was guessing that the insides were as well. I assumed correctly because this tastes just like the low carb Monster: melted candy with a diet energy drink aftertaste. Not bad per se, but not groundbreaking. This should try and find its own energy identity and stop trying to emulate one of the best out there.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on October 10th, 2011
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Summit Gridlock Lo-Carb Energy Drink

Summit Gridlock Lo-Carb Energy Drink

You don't need to tell me. You are sick of those girls driving around in the Mini Cooper, slinging Red Bull at everyone all of the day. It's like the world's most awesome job that you can't do and you are mad. You get free Red Bull and you get to get to drive an awesomely fun car all day, going to parties and bars and living the life, man. The only downfall is that you have to dress kind of awkwardly and backpacks filled with the stuff and your otherwise awesome car is modified to look like a traveling can. Still, you have been drinking the stuff for years and you are just sick to death of seeing those bulls running into each other. You know someone is going to lose an eye in the mix. You need a change and friends I've got it.

This drink tastes like diet Red Bull and is in a different can. Now, you can enjoy the drink that you've loved but with a style change. It's got that "thousand Smarties" taste and has a diet aftertaste on big, championship chugs. If you sip it, it's standard energy drink taste. Chugs, you can tell it's got some "diet" thing going on.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Glucose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 16th, 2011
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