Claire Baie Naturally Flavored Sparkling Water Beverage With Juice Kiwi Strawberry

Claire Baie Naturally Flavored Sparkling Water Beverage With Juice Kiwi Strawberry

It always seems that the drinks that we are lukewarm about, especially the diet ones, are what companies send us the most flavors of. There has been so much Claire Baie in our lives over the past few months and I’m afraid the sheer quantity is effecting our reviews. As I’ve said before these drinks were not created with me as their target audience. It’s true that I watch my sugar intake sometimes, but I have never been on a diet, and I am not a fan of zero calorie sweeteners, especially sucralose. There is a world of people out there who are on diets though and rely on beverages such as this to help curb their craving for sweet carbonated drinks. I think those people would be happy with this. If you drink sucralose on a regular basis you have to get acclimated to it and that weird taste probably doesn’t even register to you anymore. That taste is what is holding this drink back in my eyes, but if take that out of the equation and you have a decent kiwi strawberry drink. I’ve had a lot of kiwi strawberry stuff in my life, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a fresh juice where those were the ingredients. Man, I bet that would be the best. Compared to that this would be a pale imitation, but since 99.9% of the population has probably never drunk such a thing this is very passable.

Website
http://witbeveragecompany.com/wbc-brands-jelly-belly-wbc-gi-chicago-green-river-caruso-legacy-black-
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 7 hours, 13 minutes ago
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Igzu Bamboo Leaf Tea Hibiscus Blackberry

Igzu Bamboo Leaf Tea Hibiscus Blackberry

When I think about bamboo I don’t think about leaves. I only think about the stalks and building structures out of them. In my early adolescence we would build some pretty rad forts our of bamboo stalks that were hidden in patches of the plant. They were great and we really felt like we weren’t only a couple of hundred yards from my friend’s back yard. Now that I think about it they did have leaves, but they grew so high that we didn’t really have to deal with them. I certainly never thought about brewing them into tea. To be fair I thought Nestea was what tea was at that time so I was more than a little ignorant.

This is surprisingly good though. You could most definitely pass it off as a light green tea, and then snicker because your guests have no idea they are drinking bamboo, and they would have probably passed had you called it bamboo tea. The hibiscus really shines more than the bamboo, and that will never earn a complaint from me. The blackberry taste is very light, but it complements the hibiscus nicely. The label says this is “light, crisp, & refreshing” and it certainly is not lying. I just spent hours painting a fence in 90+ degree weather and this is hitting the spot perfectly. This bamboo stuff really has something going for it.

Website
http://igzulife.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 day, 23 hours ago
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H2PRO Bone and Joint Health Flavorless

H2PRO Bone and Joint Health Flavorless

Apparently flavorless is code for this tastes the way a dentist office smells; sterile and chalky. It’s all calcium citrate malate, malta dextrin, dimagnesium malate, silica and cholecalsiferal and no fun. At least it serves the purpose of helping with bone and joint health.

Website
http://www.h2probiotics.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Mix/Concentrate, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 days, 6 hours ago
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http://amzn.to/1OTEQuK

Polar Jalepeno Citrus Margarita

Polar Jalepeno Citrus Margarita

Jalapeno: A green pepper that is hot.
Citrus: A zesty, floral flavor that I cannot define without using the word of the fruit it comes from.
Margarita: A sour or citrus based alcoholic drink with tequila and salt as well as a strange classification of pizza.
This: Not really anything mentioned above.

This is spicy but my palate and I cannot decide whether it's the sparkles or jalapeno. It was a lot lighter in citrus than any of the other flavors they have. The margarita...I am not the best judge of what a margarita tastes like as I haven't had a drop of alcohol since 1998. I can tell you that it wasn't salty, though. This was just kind of confusing and weak. I love Polar but this probably took the backseat to whomever invented the allusive "Unicorn Kiss" that will probably be unfindable at this point. Trust me. We've contacted Polar who sent us this and said they don't have any more in stock. What an April Fools prank, taunting us with a fantastical beverage that will never exist again.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 4 days, 1 hour ago
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Karma Wellness Water Probiotics Apple Cinnamon

Karma Wellness Water Probiotics Apple Cinnamon

Without looking it up on the internet, someone tell me what percentage of American suffer from stomach/digestive issues. I’m not going to look it up but I’ll throw a number out there. I’ll say 72%. That’s a lot of the population with problems, and those are problems that this beverage can help alleviate. This bottle is jam packed with probiotics, which are live bacteria and yeasts of the positive variety that do a bunch to make you feel better.

You grab this and think, “Oh good this is going to make my guts feel better.” Then you realize that it’s an interactive drink and things are even better. You get to peel off the label from the top and then push all of the vitamins, minerals and probiotics that exist in powder form into the water waiting below. Then you shake it like a paint machine mixing up a gallon of paint that you bought to paint your fence, but it just sits there for far too long because you’re procrastinating. Oh, is my real life seeping into this review? That will happen.

So this is fun, it is functional and on top of that it tastes good. I’m wary of apple cinnamon beverages that are not cider, because normally things just do not turn out the way you want them to. Karma has figured it out though. I don’t know if it’s because it stays in a powder form until right before you drink it, but this tastes so much like real cinnamon sprinkled onto dried apples that it’s ridiculous. This is made with stevia as well as cane sugar, and I would have no idea that a zero calorie sweetener was in here if I hadn’t read the label. It’s mostly a light apple water with a heavy cinnamon overtone. It’s great. I could see myself drinking this even if my guts didn’t need the help that 72% of American need.

Website
http://www.drinkkarma.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 4 days, 7 hours ago
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http://www.amazon.com/Karma-Wellness-Water-Probiotics-Cinnamon/dp/B01B05JR66/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&qid=1464273980&sr=8-1&keywords=karma+apple&linkCode=ll1&tag=thirdude-20&linkId=391ecd4dcd34bc949237e8d7960b7414

Steaz Cactus Water With Green Tea

Steaz Cactus Water With Green Tea

I think I speak for all people when I say that prickly pear is a wonderful fruit. Pears blow but add some spikes and thorns and nails and it flips it right around. Make a pear dangerous to eat and it makes it better than its soft, smooth brother. Or cousin. They're related but maybe just through marriage. It counts but barely.

This is wonderful. The green tea isn't powerful but you can taste a little bite. The prickly pear, though, she shines through with beams of light as bright as the G.D. sun. It's a soft flavored drink. Real sugar and a little bit of Stevia come together and really round this little guy out.

This rarely happens, but I finished the drink before I finished writing this review. I'm on the top of the third paragraph and it's gone. I've polished off twelve ounces in like 100 words. This is great. It's not terrible for you, either. At fifty calories per can, I'd easily take a tallboy of this any day of the week. You hear me, Steaz? Tallboys. I'm inventing the demand as I type. Everyone who reads my words is seeing it in my head wondering if it exists. Make it exist. Do the right thing, Steaz. Do the right thing.

Website
http://www.steaz.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 5 days, 3 hours ago
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Sparkling Ice Tea Lemon

Sparkling Ice Tea Lemon

Sparkling tea is a strange bird. We've done a couple of them but for the most part, they're just strange. Iced tea is a staple in my life so when you change it by adding sparkles, you're changing when my body expects.

Is this bad? No. It's not the best drink and it's pretty diet at times but you know what? It couldn't have been that bad because I drank the whole thing. I never made a "gross" face. That counts for them and not against them. You could taste the lemon. That's a point. You only sometimes get the diet taste and it's sucralose. That stuff stinks. Sparkling Ice can sometimes and somehow disguise it.

They keep sending us stuff and we keep drinking it. They're good to us. You know why this relationship works, though? They don't mind a couple mediocre reviews. I've always said that if I could have one drink for the rest of my life it would be unsweet tea. This is my favorite drink sharpened, sweetened, lemoned and on a diet. That's where the minuses come in. It's not bad. It's not for me. I drank the whole thing. It's not for me.

Website
http://www.sparklingice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Iced Tea, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 5 days, 3 hours ago
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Spindrift Seltzer Cucumber

Spindrift Seltzer Cucumber

Summer is creeping up on us and the weather is finally starting to break. It’s warm and sunny. Soon it will be downright hot and sweltering and all you will be able to think of is how you want to cool down and experience some refreshment. You will take a shower to cool down, and 30 seconds after you put fresh clothes on they will be soaked in sweat. Even your pets won’t want to go anywhere near you. It will be gross and you will need relief.

We have talked in the past about how the ultimate refreshing soda is Mr. Q Cumber; a delicious sweet pop that tastes like fresh cucumbers. It’s perfection in a tiny bottle. What Spindrift has done is make that soda but without any sugar and turn it into seltzer. It’s just sparkling water and a little bit of cucumber juice. It may be the best seltzer I have ever tasted and that is saying a lot to dethrone Polar’s vanilla. I can see myself drinking insane amounts of this over the summer and you should to so that they keep it in production. Don’t let this disappear on me! I need it to make life worth living while I’m drowning in sweat.

Website
http://www.spindriftsoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 5 days, 19 hours ago
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Phyzix Energy Supplement Tropical

Phyzix Energy Supplement Tropical

I am not crazy about the name of this company. Purposefully misspelled words was such a 90’s thing to do, and I honestly hoped that we were over it. I would expect something called Phyzix to be a Nu-Metal band and not an energy drink. They sound like they should be on a mix along with Korn, Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park.

What I am crazy about is the taste of this drink. It tastes like a pina colada with some orange juice in it (maybe a little mango as well). Usually when drinks are labeled as Tropical they are just a general amalgamation of various citrus flavors. This actually tastes like something that should be drunk at a tropical location. It’s sweetened with a mixture of crystalline fructose, erythritol and stevia. The cool crispness and normally unmistakable zero calorie sweetener flavors are somehow masked by the tropical flavor and that is a very good thing.

On top of that there is no taurine in here, so it doesn’t have that expected chemical energy drink taste. The energy you get from this beverage comes from a blend of guarana, green tea, cha de bugre, ginseng, l-tyrosine, maca and yerba mate. I’m pretty sure that if this was all natural they would boast about it, but I don’t see anything that isn’t natural in the ingredients. This is a straight up pleasant beverage to sip, and I am willing to overlook their name choice for the quality of the product.

Website
http://phyzixenergy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 6 days ago
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Hi-C Ecto Cooler

Hi-C Ecto Cooler

It’s been a long time old friend. When we first met I was merely 10 years old and even though I didn’t understand most of the jokes, I loved all things Ghostbusters. I don’t remember if I saw the movie or the cartoon first (The Real Ghostbusters, not that other garbage one) and I don’t care. All I need to know if that I was hooked. I was also hooked on “juice,” and when Hi-C combined both things it was a match made in heaven. Normally my mom would pack me a Ssips juice box in my lunch, but the times I could get her to splurge it was always for Ecto Cooler. I had no idea that this was actually a rebranding of their “Citrus Cooler” flavor and I still don’t care. It was delicious and it had the cartoon version of Slimer on it. What 10 year old suburban white boy wouldn’t love that?

Ecto Cooler was always such a specific flavor to me that as a youngster I could never quite put my finger on. It wasn’t until the company yet again rebranded the flavor as “Shoutin’ Orange Tangerine“ that I slapped my forehead and felt very dumb for not placing the flavor. At the time I had outgrown such drinks and with the lack of Slimer on the packaging it held little interest to someone in their early 20s. I later learned that in 2006 it was once again rebranded as “Crazy Citrus Cooler” and a year later it was completely discontinued.

There’s something about your thirties that feeds off of nostalgia. I had never grown tired of the Ghostbusters movies and still watched them at least once a year. I longed for times when life was simpler and I missed things from my childhood that were no longer available. When we started thiersty Dudes, we named our “Trifecta” of discontinued drinks that we longed for. They were Crystal Pepsi, Orbits and or course Ecto Cooler. We bought a 14 years expired bottle of Orbits and it tasted like salad dressing. The other day a mysterious package showed up at my door and inside was a cardboard Muon Trap that contained Ecto Cooler. I knew it was returning to shelves along with the release of the new movie (which is the most hated movie that no one has seen yet), but I really have no recollection of giving anyone from Hi-C my address. It was a complete surprise and it made my day wonderful.

I’m sitting here now, sitting in the warm shining sun and I’m sipping on a juice box. If this were 25 years ago I would be sitting on a skateboard with my best friends planning what we would do when school ended for the summer in a few weeks. Instead I am taking a break between printing shirts and working on my deck. I wish I could say that I was talking about the deck of my skateboard, but I mean the deck of my house. I’m an adult with responsibilities, but for a few short minutes it’s 1989 again and I’m drinking a tangerine/orange drink that I believe to be juice, but which only contains 10% juice. It’s mostly citrus sugar water and I don’t care. It tastes exactly like I remember and that’s all that matters. If this drink were a new product now, I would care very little about it, but since it’s something from my childhood I’m loving it. I’m not expecting this to stick around for very long. There will be a large nostalgia burst as soon as it hits shelves and then people will remember they are adults and these are the kinds of drinks you leave behind as you grow up. Who knows though? Maybe the new movie will resonate with a younger generation and they will eat (drink) it up. I may never buy it again, but I will smile every time I see it.

Website
http://www.ecto.cool/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week ago
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