Teany Green Tea Half and Half

Teany Green Tea Half and Half

Dude, are you going to the EDM festival at the abandoned amusement park across the country? You're not? That's dumb. It's only $350 plus airfare plus you get to sleep in a cold field with like thirty thousand other people who won't shower for four days. You get to eat carnival food, pay eleven dollars for a small bottled water, and see four really good acts, ten good acts, sixteen acceptable acts and fourty-eight terrible acts. You know who's going to be there? Moby. He's coming out of hibernation.

I can't believe it. After that fantastic sales approach I just gave you, you are going to stay where you are? Moby is in your house? After all these years you didn't tell me that he's coming over? I've got a fresh copy of "Play" on vinyl I'd love to have him sign. He's in your fridge? Dude you are getting weird. Oh, it's his tea. Now we're back to a regular comfort level. How is it? Good? It's a half and half? It's a half and half green tea? Oh, that's cool. And it's sweet? How sweet? Not that sweet? Moby: good at music and good at tea. He's the modern day Renaissance Man. I bet he can fix a car. He seems like the kind of dude that could secretly fix a car. So it's a half and half; go on. It has a slight lemonade taste with no pulp but a good bite. That sounds awesome.

You know what, man. I don't have a lot of money saved up. Maybe we can just get a case of this stuff, put on some Music for the Jiltered Generation, and just play video games rather than me go to that festival. Sure, it would be fun but I don't have the time or the money for that thing.

Website
http://www.teany.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Evaporated Sugar Cane
Categories
Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 4 hours, 11 minutes ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Snapple All Natural Straight Up Tea

Snapple All Natural Straight Up Tea

I think it might be a stone cold fact that every American elderly woman who was a grandmother in the late 80’s/early 90’s drank Red Rose tea. Mine certainly did and everyone I’ve questioned about it came back with an affirmative response. Red Rose ruled the tea world at that time, and as an added bonus, the boxes came with little animal (Wade) figurines, which were nice for the grandchildren; everyone was a winner.

As I drank this tea all I could think of was Red Rose. This tastes exactly like how my grandmother’s tea would taste cold. It’s a nice black tea with a bit of sugar in it. It’s actually probably about a spoonful. This is a nice genuine tea. It’s not particularly fancy, but it’s just black tea and sugar with a little citric acid in it. I’ve had many a cup of tea in my life from all sorts of companies, and this has the very specific Red Rose taste. I had other try this to confirm my thoughts and we all agreed. So where ‘s my little figurine?

Website
http://www.snapple.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 5 hours, 28 minutes ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Brisk Iced Tea Mango Flavor

Brisk Iced Tea Mango Flavor

I’m pretty sure that if I was at some sort of gathering for my ladyfriend’s family/friends and I was given this to drink, I would lean over and whisper/plead in her ear “Do I have to?” It would be an honest question as well, because I have no concept of how far I have to take social niceties so that I don’t seem like a complete mutant. I don’t often interact with “normal people” or grownups (yes I know I’m 35, but I swear I’m still a kid), and as a result I don’t know how to properly act around them and I have a tendency to anger people or make them feel uncomfortable. So when someone hands you an iced tea by a company who doesn’t have a great track record (and you’ve already turned down their offers for beer and other alcoholic beverages several times), can you say no thank you, or do you just accept it with a smile?

I will say that had I accepted with a smile, I wouldn’t have been terribly disappointed. This is lacking the harshness that normally accompanies the Brisk name. It’s also sweetened by a mixture of high fructose corn syrup and sucralose, which makes it more palatable. I mean sure it still tastes more like sweetened liquid than it does actual tea, but would you expect anything different?

There is no real mango in here, but it still mimics the taste at least slightly. I have to admit that this is the most reserved flavor of Brisk I have yet to encounter. Nothing is blasting you in the face. It’s pretty calm on all fronts. It’s still not great, but it’s something I can sip on without grumbling too many complaints.

Website
http://www.drinkbrisk.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 6 hours, 32 minutes ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Power Crunch Blast Double Chocolate

Power Crunch Blast Double Chocolate

Dear readers, I was certainly not ready for today. Not ready at all. You see I go to the gym three times a week, and I have my little routine I do. It’s a solitary thing that I do whilst listening to the Jen Kirkman and Julie Klausner podcasts. I’ve been doing it for probably about two years now. I saw the results I wanted early on, and now I’m just kind of maintaining that. Being a gentleman of 35 years I can no longer eat what I want all the time and just let my metabolism do its thing. It’s fine, I actually enjoy it. Well today I ran into a friend there who is into weight lifting and I joined him and his cohort in their routine. I kept up way better than I expected and I was proud of myself. I felt worn out but good as I left the gym. It’s now about two hours later and I am destroyed. It takes effort to lift my arms over my head. Tomorrow is not going to be a fun day, and I see myself getting zero work done at the print shop. It’s going to be a nightmare. Seriously we did more/different exercises than I’m used to, but I didn’t it were that crazy.

As things would have it, we recently received a box of these protein drinks in the mail, so what better time to down one then now? Power Crunch, who is known for their protein bars, has expanded their reach into ready to drink shakes. They’ve done something with these shakes that I have never come across before. It has 20g of protein in it, but it doesn’t have the thick, grittiness to it that every other protein shake has. I shook the hell out of the bottle and the first sip was pretty close to what I would expect, but after that it’s consistency was closer to water than anything else. It was strange, but nice for those of us who get a little skeeved out by the grit.

I don’t know where the double chocolate comes into play here as all I see is cocoa on the ingredients list, but the chocolate flavor is does has is nice. It tastes like it was made from a decent bar of the good dark stuff, and not some garbage low grade filth that most chocolate drinks use. In fact the only downfall of this drink was that it was flavored with sucralose, but its inclusion is completely understandable, as this is for when you work out, and who wants to be downing real sugar then?

Okay, now I have to drag myself to band practice and hope I have the strength to play my bass. I’m such a child.

Website
http://powercrunch.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 day, 3 hours ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
BioNutritional Research Group - Power Crunch Blast Double Chocolate, 12 drinks

Dose Magnesium Mango

Dose Magnesium Mango

Never in my life have I said, "I need more magnesium." I'm not a heath teacher so I'm not entirely sure what magnesium does. Is it good that I have increased my intake to the maximum required daily dose in such a short period of time? Is something going to happen to me? Something good, I hope. Titanium and palladium kind of sounds like magnesium. Perhaps I'll become like a poor man's Midas where everything I touch turns to a cool metal.

Atop becoming the man behind the silvers, this drink also provides me with a pretty good mango flavor but in small doses. There is a strongness that this drink has and it's not the flavor. The flavor is good. As far as mango drinks go, this is great. There is something else in there that tastes both sour and sweet. It is completely drinkable, let it be known, but it is not going to go without a solid amount of "jazz faces."

If you don't play an instrument and feel the need to make a jazz face, this is the drink for you. If you know what magnesium does and you feel the need to get more of it, this is the drink for you. If you like mango and still like to see what happens when you bite into a lemon, you guessed it. This is the drink for you. Plus it comes in an adorable five ounce metal can and that is pretty cool. What isn't cool is that this is a supplement drink so to get the full effect, you would probably have to drink a regiment of these and that could get costly. If you, for some strange reason, need an instant dose to put you over the top of your magnesium quota, it's there for you.

Website
http://dosebeverage.com
Country
Poland
Sweetener
Crystalline Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 day, 8 hours ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

OrganicMe FocusMe Citrus Berry

OrganicMe FocusMe Citrus Berry

At first, I had to double check this because it smells like something alcoholic. It also is deceiving since it tastes half as strong as it smells. I'm trying to come up with an example of something that is half as strong as it smells and it's a really gross thought. Someone must be really smelly or really weak to have that ratio work.

Citrus Berry? Alright. It should be switched since it's berrier than it is citrus but it's all there so I'm not complaining. It's lightly carbonated, too and isn't too bad. It's considered a "Focus" drink but it's giving me the jitters like an energy drink would. Do people take cocaine to concentrate? Isn't that an "upper?" Shouldn't weed help you concentrate since you are calm? I don't know anything. I do know that although I might be cranking through this review because my hands are moving faster than my mind will let me go. If there was no backspace key, this review would be a pile of garbage. I suppose it's letting me focus on this lightning fast cursor tear across the screen as I write a review on the drink that's making me speedy. Is that what the kids call "meta." Kids, stop supplementing and go outside. Always on those drugs. Calm down. I need some water.

Website
http://www.organicme.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 2 days, 5 hours ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Rising Sun Thai Coconut Water No Pulp

Rising Sun Thai Coconut Water No Pulp

Coconut water; I don't know what I like and I’m not sure what I don’t like about you. I think the stuff I like might have some sugar in it. This is a little sweet but you can tell that it's "naturally" sweet and not sweetened with anything. No, I am not just reading the ingredients. I am tasting it and making an evaluation. You think I base everything off the ingredients? Sometimes I don't even read them. I just go by the seat of my pants and hope for the best.

Coconut water. This is naturally sweetened but it's also, I feel, very strong. If you are on the fence about coconut water, this might not be the place to start. There are weaker coconut waters out there which I needn’t name. If you love coconut, which a lot of you do, this is going to be a fantastic treat for you. I suppose I just need to put everyone in buckets. Call me a racist, but if categorizing people by the way they like their coconut, then I'm a regular David Duke.

Website
http://www.risingsundrink.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coconut
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 3 days, 6 hours ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Rising Sun Thai Coconut Water Pulp Free, 17.5- Ounce (Pack of 12)

Titan Tea Peach Green Tea

Titan Tea Peach Green Tea

In the Batman mythology Dr. Penelope young worked out a way to combine Poison Ivy’s plants and Venom, the chemical that gives Bane his strength, into a new formula she called Titan. It’s a fast acting, small dosage version of Venom, which has some unfortunate side effects. If the Gotham world were real I would only assume that this beverage company had found a way to clean up Titan and infuse extremely small doses of it into their teas to create a powerful beverage.

I’m sure there would be a stronger version for superheroes to get a little pick me up and hydrate. Hydration is important, even to those who protect our fair city from tyranny. This though, this version is for the everyday Joe and Mary out there. It says it has caffeine and ribose in it for sustained energy, but we all know that is just hiding the fact that Titan is involved. They can call it whatever they want, as long as it gives us a little pick me up and tastes like it does. This drink is on the bitter side of the tea world, and I personally appreciate it. Far too many iced teas these days are overly sweetened and the flavor o the brew is lost in a sea of sweetness. In here you can definitely taste the tea, and it makes the beverage stand out. Also it actually tastes like peaches and not fake sweetness in that regard as well. To be more specific it tastes like the part of the peach that touches the pit. It’s a weird part of the peach to strive for, as it’s not as sweet as the outer part, but that’s exactly what this tastes like.

My ladyfriend did not enjoy this as she said it was too bitter. That is the exact reason I love it. It tastes natural and proper. Nothing tastes artificial. I would guess that is Poison Ivy’s doing. She always has had such a way with nature.

Website
http://titantea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Fair Trade Certified Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 days, 6 hours ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Titan Tea Variety Pack (3 of each flavor)

Real Soda Chocolate Covered Maple Smoked Bacon

Real Soda Chocolate Covered Maple Smoked Bacon


Chocolate pop sounds like it would be a good idea right? Well it is rarely good. Having drunk a couple of them in my day, I can say that it's strange first, and "just alright" second. It's not bad but it feels like something that just shouldn't be. This, though. What would you think of if I gave you this? You've got not only chocolate but maple and everyone’s cliché favorite food bacon in it. Now look. You've got to be some sort of madman to think this was going to be great. Are you a madman? I did not think so.

You taste the chocolate pop in this. It's not like a chocolate really. If there was, and there probably is, chocolate candy that isn't actually milk or dark chocolate, that is the chocolate that is used. Something about the way real chocolate melts is smooth and nice. This is sharp and sweet. You do not get bacon but you do get a bit of a salty chocolate. I really searched for it when I drank it. Jay did the same as you can see in the video below. It just tastes salty. The maple might be in the tail end of the drink when the salt and "chocolate" calms down.

All in all, it's not fantastic. Seems like a better gag-gift than an actual drink. They probably don't make too many of them so I'm sure they aren't losing their shirts at Real Soda putting everything they have into a really niche drink.

Want to see what Jay and I thought with the "help" of my jerk kid? Welp, here you are, friend:


Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 4 days, 2 hours ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Chocolate Covered Maple Smoked Bacon Soda (Pack of 12)

Little Miracles Organic Energy White Tea Ginseng Cherry Acai Agave

Little Miracles Organic Energy White Tea Ginseng Cherry Acai Agave

Forgive me, for the only thing I can think of as I sip on this beverage is “Little Triggers” by Elvis Costello. It may not be the strongest track on This Year’s Model, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t one hell of a song. The same thing could be said about this beverage. It’s not the best energy drink, tea or juice I’ve ever had, but it’s still extremely enjoyable.

I don’t think I have ever disliked any beverage that has contained cherry juice. When the real thing is used it is so superior to anything that is just cherry flavored. Drinking this is like eating a huge bowl of fresh cherries while sipping on some lightly sweetened white tea on the back porch of a country home with a light breeze blowing the laundry on the line clean. Can you tell I’ve been stuck inside for too long?

You know what, maybe I was wrong before, maybe this beverage is even better than I thought. Every ingredient is in the exact right place with the exact right amount. The choice of using agave syrup and apple juice to sweeten it was the exact right choice. It gives it a very specific taste that is dead on. Sure there are other fruit juices in the mix, but they don’t shine too much. Instead they are there to dull down the cherry a bit, as straight juice from that fruit can tend to be a little intense. The way it mingles with the other fruits in here just make it perfectly smooth.

It’s called an energy drink, but don’t be a fool and think it’s anything like Monster, Red Bull or any of those types of companies. The energy in here comes from nature. It’s the caffeine from the white tea and a little extra kick from some ginseng. It’s not going to make you feel all crazy and give you the shakes. It will just keep you even with a little push to help you keep going. Little Miracles I think I love you. To bring it back to Costello, I will say something about “Miracle Man.” Now discuss which is better, This Year’s Model or My Aim is True. There really is only one correct answer.

Website
http://drinklittlemiracles.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Agave Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 4 days, 7 hours ago
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Little Miracles Organic Energy Drink, White Tea and Ginseng, 11.16 Ounce (Pack of 12)
<< previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |