La Croix Passion Fruit

La Croix Passion Fruit

I just got married a month ago (pause for applause) and ate passion fruit for the first time. What a magical experience. What a strange, goopy fruit. It's so weird. I mean, I ate a ton of it but I don't think in a million years I could get my son to eat it. So slimy. It's like all slime and seeds. Strange that anyone would eat it to begin with but they do and it's wonderful.

This drink, sans goop, tastes just like it. I was surprised. La Croix does it's flavors justice. I feel like that one is hard to nail. They might use real fruit juice or whatever "essence" is but whatever science they're doing in there, they've pulled in the right people.

Website
http://www.lacroixwater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 12 hours, 56 minutes ago
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Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Cinnamon Bun

Tim Horton's Iced Coffee Cinnamon Bun

What did I expect? This is just as bad as I thought it would be. It tastes like cheap, powdered cinnamon and fake sweetener. Whether or not it's authentic sugar, who cares? The best sugar couldn't save this drink. I don't think I finished the whole thing and I was tired and I got a small. It was a little coffee flavored but the syrup, my main complain with Tim's is too thick and strange and throws off the viscosity of the rest of the drink. I want a cinnamon bun writing this and, like I said, I didn't expect much and I was still let down. Shame. Shame.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 13 hours, 45 minutes ago
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Sparkling Ice Essence Tangerine

Sparkling Ice Essence Tangerine

I have to come clean. I have had a handful of new flavors that Sparkling Ice sent me sitting in my fridge for a little while now. Every time I would open up the drawer to choose a drink they would be staring right back at me and I haven’t had it in me to taste a zero calorie sweeter tainted drink. Tonight I decided t finally give in and deal with that nonsense on my tongue and what is that? The Essence line isn’t sweetened at all. They are all just seltzer water. This instantly made my night better. I expected to take a few small sips and introduce the rest of the bottle to my sink drain, but now I can sip it throughout the night and enjoy it.

This is fairly lightly flavored. It just has slight hints of citrus, which happen to be tangerine. A lot of sparkling waters, sweetened or otherwise tend to go pretty strong on the flavoring, but this is subtle. I could do with a little more, but I do like what they are going for. I also like that this doesn’t taste like sucralose and my taste buds would like to express their thanks as well.

Website
http://www.sparklingice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 day, 5 hours ago
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Runa Clean Energy Blood Orange

Runa Clean Energy Blood Orange

Ladies and Gentlemen, I think I am finally getting old. I get creaks. I get aches. I fall asleep on the couch while watching movies at night. All of the telltale signs are there. On top of all that I have mentioned it seems to happen with increasing regularity that I need some sort of boost to get me moving in the morning at work. I always assumed that when people talked about needing their morning coffee it was due to their bodies getting used to ingesting caffeine. Now I am realizing that sometimes you just need the push, even if your body is not used to it. I try to not make it a regular thing, but at least once a week I find myself drinking something caffeinated in the morning (usually tea). This is a great alternative though. It’s a mixture of guayusa tea and fruit juice that tastes amazing even without added sugar.

In this beverage the fruit juice sits pretty evenly with the tea flavor and that is exactly where I want it to be. It’s not sweet, but it’s also not bitter. Everything about this falls right in the middle. All of the energy in it comes from the caffeine derived from the guayusa leaf, so it doesn’t leave you feeling insane. It’s just a gentle push to help you get through the morning. It’s just a bonus that it won’t leave you with gross coffee breath or unwanted calories from sugar. It’s simple, it’s delicious and it’s just what I want in the morning.

Website
http://www.runa.org/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 days, 7 hours ago
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Soylent Drink

Soylent Drink

I’ve watched enough futuristic science fiction movies to know that Soylent is a sign that we are actually living in the beginning of a dystopian society. Soon the Singularity will occur and humans will become slaves to our robotic overlords. Fear not though all of our nutrition will comes in one convenient beverage, Soylent. To be fair the company hasn’t quite cracked the code completely, but they are on their way. Each bottle of this ready-to-drink meal in a bottle provides 20% of the daily nutritional requirements that a human needs. This company is the future and it is the definition of efficiency in nutrition. Sure if they could get it down to pill form it would be the craziest thing ever, but as it stands right now this liquid has everything you need to survive and even helps with digestion, provides energy and does everything you need to function.

As for what efficiency tastes like, the answer is simply the soy milk that is left over after you eat a bowl of oat based cereal. I kind of expected something a little different, but in dystopia taste is not a concern, merely survival. It’s not an offensive flavor, it just kind of bland, but in a way that does not concern you.

We are living in the future and things are only going to get more horrible in the world around us, but fear not Soylent has our backs and will make sure that we get the nutrients we need in the wasteland that is to come.

Website
http://https://www.soylent.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 days, 11 hours ago
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Trader Joe's Black Tea Vanilla & Cinnamon

Trader Joe's Black Tea Vanilla & Cinnamon

What is that, a raccoon? Hyper, those raccoons. Them washing all that cotton candy in the stream. Calm down, raccoon. Man. Stop eating all that sugar and drink some of this tea. It's good, subtle and calming. Like chamomile but less on-the-nose. This dude who works here has been sweet enough to let me drink some of his tea and drink it I did. Sure, he's not breaking the bank buying a box of tea from Trader Joe's but who's bringing money into this? No one. He's generous. Let him be.

That raccoon had the right idea with this. Sure he's tangled up in Christmas lights probably doing something he shouldn't be doing but he's at least chilling with a nice, hot cup of tea. The cinnamon is subtle and the vanilla rounds it out. Think of this like the biggest dandelion. You could lift it without even thinking about it. This is like that, as strong as it is, it's still calm and smooth.

Also, for those of you not "in the know," this is the video I am referring to:


Sad, right?

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Hot Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 week, 3 days ago
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Runa Clean Energy Sweet Peach

Runa Clean Energy Sweet Peach

There is joy and there is sadness in the world of Big Lots. We tend to find a decent amount of tasty and interesting beverages there. If we find something we enjoy and we are lucky then it’s simply there because a company ordered too much, or there has been a change in the label and the company is trying to blow out their old stock. Unfortunately there are other times when a product is being discontinued or a company has gone out of business. This seems to be the case more often than not when I find something I like there, so I buy up what I can and enjoy the limited time I have with it.

Luckily in the case of Runa, their teas presence at the discount store is due to nothing more than a chance of label. I will still be able to find these delicious teas in the future, but you can bet your bottom that at fifty cents per bottle I will be buying up the stores stock.

It’s been awhile since I’ve drank an iced tea that has impressed me, so I was caught completely off guard with this. It’s no secret that peach flavored beverages tend to be a little much, and end up tasting candied. This tea is flavored with “organic peach flavor” and that apparently equates to a taste that is like a peach that is right on the cusp of being perfectly ripe. It has a sweetness to it, but also a vague bitterness that comes with unripe fruit. It’s a refreshing change of pace for this particular flavor. It also helps that they didn’t go overboard with the sweetener and there are only 16g of sugar in the entire bottle.

This drink is very smooth and you get a little kick from the caffeine that is found in the guayusa. Flavor and energy; this tea truly has it all.

Website
http://www.runa.org/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 4 days ago
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Qurb Dietary Supplement

Qurb Dietary Supplement

Look, it finally started snowing and in two days from now the holiday season starts. That means that you are more than likely going to be eating a lot of garbage over the coming month or two. All of those active activities you participated in all summer that got you into somewhat okay shape are all going to be thrown out the window. You’re going to pack the pounds back on and get squishy all over again. It’s the unending cycle for those of us who live in parts of the world that have four seasons. I can’t say if it really works or not, but Qurb is here to help. They are dietary supplement shots designed to help curb your appetite as well as promote weight loss. I can assume it’s not a magical product and you also need to exercise in tandem with drinking them, but any help is good help in the war against holiday cookies and pies.

The power behind Qurb comes from a combination of green coffee beans and fiber, plus vitamins and minerals. The green coffee beans help to promote weight loss and the fiber help to curb our appetite. Essentially this is a healthier, more natural version of the diet pills that ran rampant in the 90s. One can only assume that it won’t ruin your life like the pills did in Saved by the Bell.

I was shocked that this didn’t taste as horrible as I expected it to. Most shot drinks are concentrated nonsense, but this has a somewhat decent flavor. It’s almost vaguely citrus, with a vitamin taste to it. It’s nothing you would want to sip on for pleasure, but it’s not hard to get down either.

Brave that long winter and use these shots to help keep your cookie addiction in check. Come the nice weather you won’t have to put in as much work to get back into the nearly healthy body that you’ve always wanted.

Website
http://qurbshot.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 3 days ago
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La Croix Cúrate Melón Pomelo (Cantloupe Pink Grapefruit)

La Croix Cúrate Melón Pomelo (Cantloupe Pink Grapefruit)

What a nice man, Craig is. He always holds the door for people, even if they're half a parking lot away. He's thoughtful. He cares. He's a caring, thoughtful man. Everyone loves Craig. One time he went to a kid’s school and they didn't like him. Why? He brought in a case of melon grapefruit sparkling water. Problem is that kids do not love grapefruit. Every kid there was either crying because it was too "spicy" or they didn't like the taste of grapefruit. Craig meant well. Melon. Kids love melon. So it had grapefruit in it. It didn't have the bitterness of grapefruit, just the flavor. It's sparkling water. What did the kids expect? The kids didn't like Craig and now, Craig didn't like kids. The streak of Craig being nice to everyone had ended all because of a couple snot nosed brats. Great job, kids. You broke Craig.

Website
http://www.lacroixwater.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 2 weeks, 4 days ago
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Polar Cranberry Cider

Polar Cranberry Cider

One of the few good things about the seasons changing and winter being upon us is the release of the new seasonal Polar flavors. They are a nice change of pace for a limited time. As the first snow starts to fall outside my window a cranberry cider seltzer sounded like a dream. While it may not have lived up to my hopes it is still a unique flavor. I’ve been hitting the cranberry and lime hard lately and I was excited to mix it up. My first thought upon taking a sip was “Maybe cider and seltzer shouldn’t be combined.” Then I thought, “Well maybe I’m just a cider snob because I grew up with an amazing cider mill in my home town.” I settled on “cider without sweetness is just weird. That is what feels off about this.” The more I drank the more I got used to this strangeness on my palate. The cranberry isn’t as strong as it is in the cranberry lime, but it does mingle well. I wouldn’t drink this all the time, but for a seasonal treat it is quite nice.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 5 days ago
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