Maple. Pure Maple Water None

Maple. Pure Maple Water None

Next to plain water, this might be the simplest drink ever. Also, it's pretty fantastic. Lastly, this drink single handedly lets me know why real maple syrup is like eight dollars an ounce. This is just maple water. If you tapped a tree, this is what would come out. Nothing else is in this. One ingredient. "Maple sap" and that's it. It also tastes faintly of maple syrup. "Essence" if you will. Therefor, the fact that you have to boil this down to get dark, sweet maple syrup blows my mind. This I would absolutely drink again because it's nothing like what you would think. Like I said, it's only a hint of that delicious syrup. It holds back like a nice, Catholic girl with a killer body. You know she could kill you with one flutter of her eye but she decides to hide behind the book. That's why we have prostitutes and pure maple syrup, so we can get our fix immediately for a price.

Website
http://www.drinkmaple.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 5 hours, 32 minutes ago
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Go N'Syde 40/40 Club

Go N'Syde 40/40 Club

I was hanging out the other night. You know just sitting around with some friends having a nice relaxing evening, when my friend Jay tosses me this drink and says it’s for review on my blog. After several minutes of me berating him and telling him it’s not a blog, it’s a fully functional database that was coded by Mike and runs off of a database, I thanked Hova for the drink that he had made named after his chain of sports bars, which are in turn names after the baseball term for people who have gotten over 40 home runs and stolen bases in a single season. What, you’re not close and personal friends with Jay Z? well I guess everyone can’t be or else he would have no time to sit around listening to the new Morrissey album with me and discussing how it seems like he’s just parodying himself at this point.

As far as the tea goes, I’m a fan. It’s a slightly different take on an Arnold Palmer. It’s black tea with a bunch of lemon in it (it doesn’t taste like cleaner), but there is also a bit of citrus in there that reminds me of a mellower version of Sweet Leaf’s Citrus Tea. It’s on the sweeter side of teas, but the flavors involved lean towards that, so I have no qualms with it.

This isn’t your typical iced tea in taste or experience. When you scan the bottle with your smart phone it unlocks a world of information about the clubs and sportsmen. I personally wasn’t able to test it out, but that’s what Jay tells me, and I’m not about to call him a liar. Maybe he’s a bit of a no it all, but not a liar. Me? Oh, I’m the one who is the liar. The only time I saw Jay was at a football stadium in Washington DC. I was waiting for The Cure to play and he was on stage doing his thing. We were a field away from each other, but in that moment he placed all of that information into my brain.

Website
http://gonsyde.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 6 hours, 31 minutes ago
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O-Key Refrescos (Red)

O-Key Refrescos (Red)

"Red," huh? It pretty undisputedly tastes "red." It could be cherry, strawberry, raspberry or something else. I can't tell but it's actually pretty good. Normally with a drink like this, red pop that is, it's really sweet and really fruity. This is actually a good step back and it's not too much of either.

I enjoy seeing the glass bottles with the wear on the sides. It reminds me of a time where you would buy bottles of pop and return them and they would be washed and reused. If Mexico still does it, good for you. We can all agree that pop in glass tastes better than canned or plastic'd pop. This one will be recycled but will not go back to its birthplace.

Country
Mexico
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 day, 9 hours ago
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Cumberland Farms Sparkling Sno Lemon-ade

Cumberland Farms Sparkling Sno Lemon-ade

It should be a crime against nature. It should be an ultimate evil. Artificial sugar combining with lemonade should be akin to the raising of the antichrist, but for some reason I don’t mind it. Does that mean I’ve gone to the dark side? Do I need to start having rituals with some sort of sacrifice? Do I need to shave my head and grow a goatee? You know what? Why not?

This is a sparkling lemon drink that is in fact sweetened with sucralose, but it doesn’t taste like poison and I don’t feel like all humanity should be slaughtered because real sugar wasn’t used in making lemonade. I still feel dirty that I enjoy this, but I’m not going to deny myself. Sure it tastes diet, but the lemon does a good job covering it up.

This is better than I ever could have imagined it to be, but at the same time it’s not something I would crave. I would happily drink it if it were presented to me, but I wouldn’t chug-a-lug all day long on the stuff, which is probably for the best.

Website
http://https://www.cumberlandfarms.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Lemonade, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 day, 10 hours ago
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Harney & Sons Organic Blackberry & Tea

Harney & Sons Organic Blackberry & Tea

I want so badly for the eldest male in the Harney clan to be named James, and for everyone to call him Jim. I also hope his sons are really only in their mid-twenties. My whole reasoning for this is that I am a child and I so badly want Mr. Harney to have been about 15/16 in 1987, when the classic film Earnest Goes to Camp came out. The only dumb reason I have for this is that every time I read Harney and Sons, all I can think of is Varney and Sons, and in case you don’t know the actor who played the role of Ernest was named Jim Varney. You see I am a cruel man and I want to patriarchal head of the Harney clan to have been teased as a child because of his name. It’s a rite of passage for teenage boys and I would hate for him to have missed it. If no one yelled “Hey Vern” at him, there is no hope for this world.

Okay, never mind that tangent I just went off on. It had absolutely nothing to do with the contents of this bottle. So let’s move on to the important information. Harney & Sons make delicious beverages that I have enjoyed up to this point. When you take a solid company and introduce blackberry in to the mix, magic is bound to happen. This is a wonderful mixture of black tea, blackberry juice, hibiscus, and boysenberry juice. It all blends together into a beverage that anyone would long for on the long nights at camp. It’s very sweet and fruity, actually it’s a tad bit too sweet with 42g of sugar per bottle. It probably wouldn’t taste overly sweet to most people, but I’ve been drinking unsweetened tea constantly this summer, so I’ve been noticing sweetness more.

My only real complaint here, and it’s hardly a complaint, is that I wish the tea flavor was a bit stronger. The berry taste is a natural one, but it’s still very in your face. If it were mellowed out a bit, that might take care of the sugar as well and this would be absolutely perfect.

Website
http://www.harney.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Juice
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 days, 12 hours ago
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Cicero Beverage Co Salted Caramel Root Beer

Cicero Beverage Co Salted Caramel Root Beer

Like many of us, from time to time you have probably found yourself wondering what exactly happened to the river of psychomagnotheric slime from Ghostbusters 2. Sure Vigo was using it as a power source, but after we was blasted back into the painting and drained of his powers, what happened to the slime?

Well the truth of the matter is that the slime was a bit of a problem for the city. As you know it fed off of emotions, and being such an angry city (at least while Lady Liberty herself isn’t walking around blasting feel good tunes), it was only a matter of time before the city destroyed itself. Not wanting that to occur officials loaded it up into thousands of tanker trucks and shipped it off to Chicago, without them knowing. Hey, if a city is going to destroy itself it might as well be in the Midwest, right? A weird thing happened though, Chicago’s love of food and sweets somehow changed the river of slime into a river of salted caramel, which can be seen on this bottle’s label. Strange times indeed.

The Cicero company dips into this river from time to time when they want to make root beer. They put just a dab into each bottle and it flavors it right up. There’s already caramel in a lot of darker sodas and the addition of the “slime” really amped it up. Luckily it’s not overly salted. Wouldn’t a really salty soda be the worst thing ever? Can you imagine your disappointment? There’s a bit of salt in here, but it’s not over the top. In reality this just makes me think of pretzels. Actually, I want some really bad. A bag of pretzels and a bottle of this would pair up for the perfect Midwest snack.

I’m not the world’s biggest caramel guy, so I admit that I couldn’t finish this entire bottle, but if you are a lover of that specific form of sugar, this has your name written all over it. Especially if your name is Vigo of Gozer.

Website
http://www.cicerobeverages.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 days, 8 hours ago
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Buy Now
Cicero Beverage Company Salted Caramel Root Beer 8-Pack Sampler

Bundaberg Passion Fruit

Bundaberg Passion Fruit

Australian favorite’s Bundaberg gave guava soda a shot, but they just missed the mark. You see they make their soda the old fashioned way, by brewing it with yeast, and as a result it ended up tasting a bit too alcoholic for my liking. Now the creators of some of my favorite ginger beer are trying their hand at my second favorite fruit, passion fruit. With this one the bases were loaded and they didn’t blow it with a lot of grandstanding. They took what simple ingredients they had, and hit that pitch right out of the park for a grand slam.

This is soda brewed the way it should be, with a less processed flavor that what most of us are used to. It tastes like carbonated passionfruit juice, with a little something extra from the yeast brew that just makes it perfect. It does border on the wine cooler flavor, but it stays to the proper side and not the alcoholic side that far too many people became acquainted with in the 80s.

I am thoroughly disappointed that I only had one bottle of this. It simply wasn’t enough, and I’m already craving more. Is it wrong to book a rip halfway across the world just for soda? Oh wait, I could probably get more of this at a Cost Plus. I’ll probably have to do that.

Website
http://www.bundaberg.com/info/home/
Country
Australia
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 4 days, 7 hours ago
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XL Lime & Lemon Energy

XL Lime & Lemon Energy

Oh what a different world we live in when things are backwards. Lemon & lime soda is very boring and I don’t know a single person whose first choice it would be. Switch those two around and you got something. The science behind this is that lemons are boring and don’t actually taste very good, even though “big lemon” has been trying to convince the world otherwise for decades. Limes on the other hand aren’t just unripe lemons; they are their own fruit with a wonderfully bold flavor. This energy drink is most definitely heavier on the green instead of the yellow, and the result is an energy drink that is quite enjoyable and the opposite of boring. It definitely has the candied chemical classic energy drink undertones, but the lime is right there in your face like a mojito, minus the mint. There is also some lemon in there, but it’s finally taking the back seat it has always deserved, but whined so much that it got shotgun. Dive in folks, the water is fine.

Website
http://www.xl-energy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 5 days, 4 hours ago
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Sparkling Ice Crisp Apple

Sparkling Ice Crisp Apple

We're a couple months out from "Apple Mania" but that doesn't mean that we can't still enjoy apples. I remember watching a video a couple months back where people were making "fizzy fruit" by soaking them in dry ice. Where do you get dry ice? Are only scientists and friends and family of scientists allowed to eat a fizzy apple? That's unfair.

Well, one scientist broke the silence and now we, the public, can enjoy (probably) what a sparkling apple tastes like. Sure, the only crispness is in the title, but that's cool. Don't worry about it. Drink an apple. Yeah, drink an apple. Eating apples is so two thousand and late. Yeah, I did it. What? It was fitting.

Apples are great. This, you know what? This isn't bad. It's no apple but it's more quenching. It doesn't taste diet. It doesn't taste like candy. It doesn't taste like a shoe, but then again, why would it? If you eat an apple that tastes like a shoe, I don't know the policy of your local grocer, but you should return that batch and maybe shop elsewhere. It's sweet like an apple. Tastes like an apple. Great work, guys. You captured apples and fizzed up that essence. Yeah, sure, sparkling apple juice exists, already. This is more like a real apple.

Website
http://www.sparklingice.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 6 days, 8 hours ago
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Buy Now
Sparkling Ice, Crisp Apple, 17 Ounce (Pack of 12)

Big Shot Fruit Punch

Big Shot Fruit Punch

Just churning it out, just churning out garbage. Some companies use high quality ingredients handpicked from local gardens. Those people are not these people. These people...these people. These people are making carbonated poison as far as I'm concerned. Look, it's not that bad. I mean, it's bad, don't get me wrong.

This has that strange, sharpness that you don't want in anything you ingest. I mean, there aren't any great fruit punches around but this is worse than your average bear and fruit punch. Fruity? Yep. Not anything you should find yourself drinking.

Website
http://www.nolacajun.com/Big-Shot-Soda_p_13.html
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 week ago
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