Goldenbrew Green Tea w/ Spearmint & LIme

Goldenbrew Green Tea w/ Spearmint & LIme

To my taste buds mint and tea generally do not mix. I know it’s a classic flavor, and I admit it’s okay with hot teas, but once they get iced I feel like I poured myself a nice glass of tea, got distracted by a phone call, or my cat throwing up, brushed my teeth, realized I had forgotten about my tea, and then drank it anyways. To me the mint never tastes like it’s part of the drink, more like it’s a foreign aspect that just happens to be in my mouth. With Goldenbrew it’s a tad better. The mint still tastes a bit detached, but it’s more like I’m chewing Doublemint gum and drinking green tea instead of having just brushed my teeth. I don’t know why that is preferable, but it definitely is. The lime is also a nice touch. So many companies rely on lemons too heavily when this superior citrus cousin is just begging to be used. It makes things a bit more interesting. You add high quality tea, and a little agave to round it out with a touch of sweetness and you have a pretty good beverage on your hands. Now if someone could just figure out how to blend in mint with tea a bit better this would be fantastic.

Website
http://www.goldenbrewtea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Agave Nectar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 14 hours, 17 minutes ago
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Ginger Shots Kiwi Ginger

Ginger Shots Kiwi Ginger

Holy burn.

I don't know who or what this is for but man this is hot. This is like, "this is going to hurt later" type hot. This is the hot that you are worried about when you eat Buffalo [slash] hot wings and then feel that "thing" in your stomach. I think ginger is supposed to make your stomach feel better so that might not happen. There is kiwi but it's so low in the mix that you can hardly tell it's there. Like a girl that dresses up for a party that like a thousand other people go to that it's just so congested she's wildly underappreciated. It's a little fruity, don't get me wrong, but I can't really tell that it was specifically kiwi.

You know what it is, though? Hot as balls, man. If this was a review for an eBay purchase, I would say "A+. Would drink again."

Website
http://gingershots.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Energy Drink, Ginger, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 3 days, 11 hours ago
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Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Black Raspberry

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Black Raspberry

Ahh black raspberry. The most "goth" of all the fruits. No. That's not true. Blood orange could probably win in a quiz show involving nothing but questions about Jesus and Mary Chain and Bauhaus. I guess runner up would be black raspberry followed by black cherry. Cherry is too close to "cheery" which is not the epitome of goth.

This tastes light and bubbly. We won't tell anyone about that, though. It's nice. From drinking giant bottles of Polar seltzer all the time to a nice, smaller glass of this, it's refreshing to be able to have a different flavor. It smells nice and fruity and is just a good, simple drink. Both of the Cocteau Twins would be happy to drink this and unhappy about everything else.

Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 5 days, 16 hours ago
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Never Too Hungover Boost

Never Too Hungover Boost

Over the years we have been sent a small handful of hangover cures. It seems like a great idea, but the problem is that neither Mike nor I drink at all. Our solution is to find a friend who is planning on getting drunk and having them drink it and relay their results to us, while we drink one and remark on the taste. Well, I’ve been somewhat of a hermit lately and I haven’t been around people drinking in a while. I’ve been sitting on this for a couple of weeks and the proper opportunity hasn’t arisen. I didn’t want to make the company feel like we are neglecting their product and after the events of yesterday I have what I assume a hangover feels like.

Yesterday I had to print shirts for about 12 hours in a room that was easily over 110 degrees. I only stopped when a friend stopped by to get me to go push around the city on skateboards. Like the idiot I am I did not drink nearly enough water and as a result I was dehydrated, which I believe is a large part of hangovers. When I woke up this morning I was achy with a throbbing head and felt a little queasy. These are all complaints I hear from people who have hangovers. I decided this was as close as I was ever going to come so I drank this bottle of Boost, which can be drank before, during or the day after drinking. It seems to be jam packed with every B vitamin ever, Potassium, Electrolytes, Milk Thistle, Green Tea Extract, Aloe Vera, and Gotu Kola.

It’s been about 45 minutes since I drank this and I do feel a bit better. I’m not sure if it’s just time or the beverage, but I’ll assume it was the drink. I also just learned that a big cause of hangovers is a toxin called acetaldehyde. Now I don’t know if I had that but I’ll just assume that this combats that quite nicely.

It has a berry taste, with a sucralose sweetness. It’s a bit intense, but it’s a shot, so that was expected. I don’t know if this was a very accurate test, but I do feel better so I’ll just say that this helps with hangovers because my word is law, right? RIGHT?

Website
http://nevertoohungover.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Other/Weird, Shot
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 3 days ago
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Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Watermelon

Four Point Zero Perfect Seltzer Watermelon

To me seltzer is seltzer, no matter what the brand. I mean it’s just carbonated water with a little flavoring in it. I now love it as an adult, but I was fine with grabbing any brand that was available. Four Point Zero has shown me that I was wrong all this time, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to forgive them. I mean after tasting the perfection that is this seltzer, how am I supposed to go back to the cheap stuff they have at my grocery store? Those jerks.

Their greatness was proven to me when I drank this bottle of watermelon. That is a flavor that 99% of the time goes wrong and tastes like a Jolly Rancher. Even when sugar is not involved it still tastes like candy. This bottle is the new standard though. It tastes like someone squeezed the juice from the melon, watered it down slightly (but not too much), and then carbonated it. It’s all of that but with zero sugar. It’s magic I tell you. I have never tasted a more authentic watermelon beverage that wasn’t just straight juice. The bar has been set, everyone take notice.

Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 4 days ago
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Polar Mango Berry

Polar Mango Berry

Do I love mango? No. Not really. Will I say this might be the most accurate interpretation of mango? Yep. I don't know what it is about mango but whatever it is, it has been so poignantly captured within this bottle that if you like mango, you can just buy a couple bottles of this and save yourself the trouble of shaving, cutting, cubing or whatever it is you do with a mango.

I don't get a lot of berry in here but you get so much mango that you have no reason to wonder why her name came first. I didn't want to appear sexist so I made mango a "her." You like that? I'm not a misogynistic turd. Mangos can do whatever they want. If they want to make fruit love in this bottle than so be it. That makes it more disgusting for me to drink. I wish I hadn't said that. Even if it is fake.

Website
http://www.polarbev.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Sparkling, Water
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 week, 6 days ago
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Goldenbrew Black Tea and a Touch of Honey

Goldenbrew Black Tea and a Touch of Honey

One wouldn’t think there would be much variation between simple black teas. One would also be very wrong. Nearly every company whose black tea I have sampled has their own little twist on flavor that makes them unique. Goldenbrew uses whole tea leaves in their brewing process, and you wouldn’t think that such a small thing would make such a difference, but it really does. You can tell that higher quality ingredients are used and they are brewed with more pride. Obviously this is better than a garbage Brisk, but it also overshadows the natural lines of the “big” tea companies. It also helps that it is lightly sweetened with honey. I’m of an age where I prefer my teas to be unsweetened, but honey is a game changer. It’s not meaningless sweetness. It adds a depth and new flavor to the already wonderful tea. It’s important to note that they also don’t go overboard with the honey, which is so easy to do. It teases you with its hint of flavor, leaving you wanting more and before you know it the bottle is gone and you wish you had more. Now that is the sign of a good tea.

Website
http://www.goldenbrewtea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Clover Honey
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks ago
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Rockstar Energy + Electrolytes Cucumber Lime

Rockstar Energy + Electrolytes Cucumber Lime

In recent times slowly but surely we have seen a rise in the number of cucumber flavored drinks that are on the market. It’s nowhere near the amount of pomegranate or acai, but every once in a while a new one will pop up, and every time I get stoked. Cucumber is a wonderful flavor that I find ridiculously refreshing. The thing is that there are two different cucumber flavors, the pleasant “meat” of the vegetable flavor, which is what I usually find ideal, and the slightly dirty taste of the skin, which I still enjoy, but just not as much. I have some friends who hate the second version (I’m looking at you Jay Zubricky). Upon first sip of this I thought to myself, “This is more skin that meat, but I’m okay with it. It tastes pretty fantastic and it doesn’t really taste like an energy drink. “ By the time I had taken two more sips my opinion had completely changed and I had had enough of this drink. What went from a slightly dirty, yet pleasant, cucumber flavor suddenly took a drastic turn into the world of diet sugar water that only vaguely tasted like cucumber let alone lime. I knew that they used a mixture of real sugar and sucralose in here to keep the calories low, but at first the fake sugar flavor was nowhere to be found. Suddenly it was all I could taste. I didn’t even make it through half the can before I dumped it out on the side of the road. Well, at least it gave me a little bit of pep, even though my taste buds suffered for it.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks ago
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Ginger Shots Pineapple Ginger

Ginger Shots Pineapple Ginger

They are not kidding with the name. This is one serious shot of ginger to the mouth, and it’s absolutely wonderful. This is nothing but pineapple juice and of course ginger juice and it’s very intense. In movies when people talk about the warm burn that they get from a shot of whiskey is exactly how this feels. You get one hell of a delicious burn all the way down. On top of that it tastes fantastic. It’s hard to forget about the flavor because of the intensity, but it’s there and it tastes like someone infused a pineapple with concentrated ginger. The best.

This is so intense that I kind of feel like I’m invincible because I drank it. It’s as if it’s some sort of magic potion that will protect me from any and all illnesses. I can’t wait for Mike to try these. He’s going to fall in love.

Website
http://gingershots.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Shot
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 3 days ago
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Matcha Love Organic Unsweetened Matcha + Green Tea

Matcha Love Organic Unsweetened Matcha + Green Tea

I’m not sure if this is the same product that comes in the little cans, or if there is something different about it because it says it’s organic and over 3x the quantity. What I do know is that this tastes like a wonderfully delicious unsweetened green tea. It’s slightly bitter, but in a way that is enjoyable instead of distracting. I didn’t know something could be bitter and smooth at the same time, but that’s what we have here. This is the baseline from which all unsweetened green tea should be compared.

Website
http://www.itoen.com/matcha_love
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 4 days ago
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