KIDStrong Grape
Calling something "clearly" anything, I feel, is a bit insulting. It's like using the word "obviously" as if to say, "You dumb dummy. It's obviously a 1981 MGB." I know, I know. It's called "clearly" because it's clear, but still...a titch too much for my liking. Speaking of "my liking" I liked this a handful more than the previous one I reviewed. This one still has a strange thickness to it, but it's totally drinkable and the grape flavor is pretty good. If I had a kid that didn't drink bottles who needed to be hydrated, I would let him have this.
We're half and half with this company and that's more than I can say for most companies so congratulations.
- Website
- http://www.kidstrong.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 3 hours, 47 minutes ago
Oogave Strawberry Rhubarb
I went into this drink without knowing what to expect. I didn’t think I had ever tried rhubarb before, so I wasn’t sure what this would taste like. As soon as I took a sip I instantly remembered sitting in the kitchen of my grandparents farmhouse and taking a generous bite of a stalk after some urging by my grandmother. At the time I wasn’t a big fan. I didn’t think it was terrible, but it wasn’t anything I needed to eat.
I now recognize a lighter, dryer version of that flavor in this drink, except now I’m an adult and my tastes are refined. I actually like it and it makes me wish it were summer so I could go cut down a stalk and gnaw on it. As I said the flavor of the rhubarb isn’t very strong in this. The same can be said for the strawberry. Both flavors are obviously there, but they are mellow, like Ben Murphy in the film Riding With Death (the best episode of Mystery Science Theatre ever). This could have very easily had a “down on the farm” taste to it, but since they chose to sweeten it with agave it has a modern soda flair to it. Out of every sweetener (except zero calorie ones) agave has the most distinct taste to it, and I love it.
- Website
- http://www.oogave.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Agave Nectar
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 16 hours, 26 minutes ago
Eldorado Organic Dragonfruit
You know there are dragons in that water. It's true. In Colorado there are dragons that only come out at night, like in the Smashing Pumpkins song, that swim around in the water. Didn't you ever wonder why there was a "No swimming past sunset" rule statewide? Yeah, that'd be because of the dragons. Thing is, they are messy characters. It's alright though because when they shed their scales, they fall in the water, degrade, and are made of like a sweet, fruity powder. They all flow downstream to the bottling plant where we make this "dragonfruit" drink. It's a really clean process. Sure, poop gets in the mix, but that's what filters are for. It's like a saltwater fish tank. We've got mediums that the poop and dragon hair and cans and garbage goes through so that we are left with the cleanest, purest flavored water.
What do you mean you don't believe me?! Come over here and look at this footage. Tell me that's not a dragon playing with a beach ball in the lake. You can't do it. It's mesmerizing, I know. I had never seen anything like it until I came here. They don't like people and do, even though it's a stereotype, breathe fire. They will breathe fire right on you and you will die. It's no joke and happens all the time. Our filters find people all the time. Parts. Legs and stuff. They think they're so smart with their scientific equipment coming in trying to get them for zoos and stuff. Dragons win all the time.
This drink is a rarity that can't come from anywhere but here, and it's great. There are other dragonfruit drinks but they aren't as authentic as this. This drink is light, sweet, fruity, and very quenching. Colorado's finest. Plus, we've chocked it full of vitamins, antioxidants, and more so that it's even better than regular juice or Vitamin Water. Now that you know that you shouldn't mess around in the water at night, enjoy your stay in Colorado.
- Website
- http://eldoradosprings.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 1 day ago
Cintron Toronja
Oh man. How am I going to do a 500 word essay on the Emancipation Proclamation in...oh jeez. Fourteen minutes. First thing's first, I need something to drink. This high school is strange. I don't know who is stocking this cooler, but there is no Pepsi or Gatorade or anything I've ever heard of before, just this Cintron stuff. Toronja? I don't know what that is but I do enjoy a good iced tea.
Alright, pen to paper. Let's do this. Oh, this tea is good. It's lightly citrus'd but it is just sweetened tea. What?! Ten minutes? I've only put my name on this piece of paper. Ahhh! Alright, one more sip and I'm cracking down on this paper. This is good tea, man. It's very clean tasting. Not too sweet like a southern style sweet tea but it's got the same ingredients. Eight minutes?! Alright, alright. Let's start.
Emancipation Proclamation, by Mitch Fandis.
Slavery is bad. The president, Abraham Lincoln did not like it. He wanted slavery to be abolished. Not everyone hated slavery, though. The south enjoyed slavery. They used slaves on their plantations. Cider House Rules was a movie about slavery.
There. That's about...less than 50 words? Oh man. I don't know what else to say about it. I can re-write this, double space it, and write larger. That will get me to a whole page. Ahh, the tricks of a tenth grader.
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 1 day, 17 hours ago
Gatorade Perform 02 Frost Glacier Freeze
In the 25 years that I lived at home our fridge always had a jug of "blue juice" in it. Yes that's right I didn't move out of my mom's house until I was 25. Sure I could have gotten my own place much sooner, but I was on tour a lot and paying for an apartment when I was gone for a good chunk of time seemed stupid (I did pay my mom rent for the time I was in Buffalo). My living situation isn’t the important aspect of this story, the “blue juice” is. That neon fluid was two packets of Kool Aid’s Sharkleberry Fin (or whatever the name of that flavor was at the time) and way too much sugar. Our house was famous for this drink, and if we were ever out and my friends went to get a glass there was certainly a minor scene. This may seem like a pointless story, but it is relevant because this drink tastes like Gatorade’s version of blue juice. Sure, it has a lot less sugar and that very specific Gatorade taste to it, but the base is all Sharkleberry Fin. I rarely drink Gatorade, but the flavor of this brings me back to a better time before rent and bills were an issue. A time where my friends and I had more of a claim to my family’s house than my mom did. Strange times.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 1 day, 18 hours ago
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Guayaki Yerba Mate Pure Empower Mint
Michael loved Saint Patrick’s Day. Actually, let me clarify, he didn’t care anything about Saint Patrick’s Day; he loved the few weeks right before the holiday when McDonalds had Shamrock Shakes. Every year for two weeks he would down as many as he could. When they disappeared for another year it was always a sad occasion. This past year he had kept a quarter of a cup of it in his fridge so he could enjoy it again later. He had planned on holding off for a week or two, but truth be told Michael was a weak willed man. Less than 24 hours had passed since he purchased the frozen beverage before he found himself standing in front of an open fridge with an empty cup and a minty taste in his mouth. It had been glorious, but now the joy was over and he was still thirsty. He had opened the fridge to get some yerba mate, but was distracted by the milkshake. With a shrug Michael grabbed the pitcher of tea and filled up his now empty McDonalds cup. He thought for a second that he should probably rinse it out, but along with being weak willed he was also lazy. When he took a sip he was shocked at how minty the residual shake had made his tea. Normally Michael wasn’t a fan of mint tea. It was always overpowering. This was different though. It was smooth and the yerba mate and the mint blended together nicely. He was so pleased with what he created that he ran out into the living room and had his roommate give it a try. Ron, the roommate, was annoyed that Michael was interrupting his viewing of Desperate Housewives, but he knew the only way to get him to leave was to try it. “It’s good,” Ron said. “It tastes just like the Guayaki Pure Empower Mint that I drink at work all the time.” With that he turned up the volume and Michael went upstairs to his room, leaving the fridge door wide open.
- Website
- http://www.guayaki.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 1 day, 21 hours ago
Phenom Mega V Pineapple Punch
Imagine spending your entire life hating coconuts and everything they flavor. For years your hatred rose to a point where if anything had even trace amounts of the fruit you wouldn’t taste it for all the pineapples in Hawaii. I lived those dark days. It got to the point where I couldn’t even see the humor in a coconut carved to look like a monkey. Then one day everything changed. You see I wasn’t alone in my anti-coconut crusade. All three of us here at Thirsty Dudes had the same aversion. It was an unspoken bond that we would put off reviewing coconut waters for as long as we could, and with so many beverages in the world that could be a long, long time. One day a package showed up. It was full of dozens of cartons of coconut water. Even though our hatred ran strong, our duty to the website was stronger. We each took a handful of the drinks and went to our respective homes to taste the foulness in peace. I don’t know about the others, but I can say that the one I drank was better than I expected, but not something I actually enjoyed. By that I mean that I was able to drink the entire bottle without wanting to throw up. We each posted reviews and we thought we were done with it. Then a magical comment appeared on one of our reviews. It instructed us that we should make sure that we drank coconut water ice cold. I thought what the hell and I gave it a try. I can’t explain what a difference a few dozen degrees makes. A drink that was chalky and gross suddenly became refreshing and flavorful. I began to truly enjoy coconut water.
All of that took place about a year ago. Oh how things change. Here I sit in my home and within twelve hours of procuring this carton of coconut water I’m leaning back and enjoying it. The flavor is called “Pineapple Punch,” but since it’s pineapple and coconut it really is just a pina colada. Who would have thought that I would ever like drinking pina colada? If you had handed me one in the past it would have gone directly down the drain. Now I’m sipping it from a carton, like my computer room was some kind of paradise. It tastes mostly like normal coconut water with just a hint of pineapple mixed in. Our citrus friend is kept in check, so the drink remains nice and smooth. As an added bonus vitamins from GNC added to it. I don’t notice them in the flavor or texture, so that is a good thing.
Now that you are done imaging a world where you hate coconuts take a moment to imagine a world where everyone abbreviates everything and “phenom” is used as an adjective constantly. That would be a frightening place to live.
- Website
- http://www.phenomwater.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Reb A
- Categories
- Coconut
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 days, 18 hours ago
Death Valley Root Beer
Death Valley gets a bad wrap. Whomever named it should go back to marketing school, assuming they didn't graduate, and try again because they forever blackened the name of that place. Look, sure, things happened, it's hot, it doesn't have a quenching water park, and there isn't a nice suburb filled with crap like Applebee's, TGI Friday's, and Joe's Crab Shack for families to go to on the weekend. I am no city planner but I can tell you that you don't need those things to make things happen. I do know you can't have a place called "Death Valley" and have it give off the "fun" vibe.
Here is a start. Everyone that crosses the border from outside to inside Death Valley gets a complimentary bottle of their root beer. This root beer has a fantastic, real vanilla taste that is with you on every sip and a nice, dark flavor throughout. Dark like Death Valley at night but cool, unlike Death Valley, like...ever.
This might have to be limited to one bottle per car as we are trying to fix the image of Death Valley, not bankrupt them. Limit one per car, please share. Don't forget to stop at the Death Valley memorial on your way in and out for great prices on sweatshirts you would have to be crazy to wear anywhere within 250 miles of Death Valley.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Root Beer
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 3 days ago
Briar's Premium Lemon Cream
When I purchased this I thought that the ice cream company of the same name made it. It wasn’t until I was looking up the website that I realized that the ice cream company spells their name Breyers. Oops. It has the same name (different spelling) and it’s a cream based soda. I don’t think I was too far off base. Oh well.
Where Breyers makes quality ice cream, Briar’s makes a mediocre lemon cream soda. I wanted this to be a really creamy cream soda, but instead I got a bottle of lemon soda with trace amounts of cream. Actually, the lemon wasn’t even that strong. This would have been awesome if it was strong lemonade mixed with cream soda, but alas it’s lackluster lemon soda.
Briar’s red birch beer looks pretty great. I can’t wait to try that. Breyer’s Blasts Snickers looks more than great. It looks otherworldly. I should probably mix the two together and lose my mind for a while.
- Website
- http://www.briars.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 3 days, 17 hours ago
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
True Citrus Orange
What's the matter boy? Ahh. Scurvy. Twas a terrible disease when we were at sea. There was all that water with no citrus to keep us from getting sick. We lost many men to that dreadful disease. I'll tell you, being a fisherman is not as glamorous as it sounds. Sure, you get to spend all day fishing, but have you ever eaten fish every day for sixty-two days? It gets old kid. Real old. Real fast. Especially when you run out of those McCormick spices. Paprika fish is great until it is no more. You end up marinating fish in other fish to try and get something different. Then you start mixing fish and potatoes or fish and old socks. I'm telling you. It gets bad.
So yes, vitamin C deficiency is no joke. Everyone's wives told them to bring these little packets of True Orange but they thought that they would be picked on for having flavor packets so they traded them for "tough guy" stuff like razors, cigarettes, and fingerless gloves. Me? I brought it and no one made fun of me. It was fine, too. It tastes like if you split a glass of orange juice between ten people and watered it down to make it work. It's lightly sweetened and still, somehow, 25% of your daily vitamin C intake.
I know you like the sea, lad, but please don't worry about what the other guys tell you. There is nothing cool about a dead guy wearing fingerless gloves because as cool as they were when he was alive, you certainly aren't going to take them off his cold, dead hands and call them your own. Well, unless you’re Zeke. That dude is crazy.
- Website
- http://www.truelemon.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 3 days, 22 hours ago
