McDonalds McCafe Green Apple

McDonalds McCafe Green Apple

Happy Birthday, Morrissey. For your birthday I bought you a green apple smoothie from McDonald's. Yeah, it's the same McDonald's. Yeah, they still serve hamburgers. You know they do, man. Why would you ask that. Oh, you won't drink it? I doubt there is any hamburger in it. It was a joke. Come on. Here. I'll taste it first.

It's good. You would think it would be like a green apple Jolly Rancher but it actually tastes like real apples. You eat apples, don't you? Yeah. I thought so. Look, I'm not disrespecting your beliefs. I've seen you in concert twice and sang along to Meat Is Murder while you showed graphic videos of the mistreatment of animals. They're really enough to make people in PETA sick, honestly. It's got no extra sourness so you can enjoy the tastebuds in your mouth the way that they were intended to be used.

What do you say? Do you want this drink that I managed to keep cold from Buffalo to jolly old England where I then had to hire a private investigator to find your rather nice and modest home? No? Cool. I'll just leave this here on your front porch. Happy birthday, Morrissey.

Website
http://www.mcdonalds.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Smoothie
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 12 hours, 45 minutes ago
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Minta Lemon

Minta Lemon

Lemon pop; It's not that much different than a Sprite with a bit of mint in it. I mean, that is a different product in itself but it's lightly mint. Don't think that you're brushing your teeth and then rinsing with Sprite. If you do, you should be put in the mental hospital because that's absolutely insane.

This is actually pretty refreshing; lightly lemon, lightly mint and mediumly sweet. It's not "over" anything and is small enough to never be overwhelming. I don't know if I would drink it again because it was almost so subtle that it was nothing special. It was good, don't get me wrong, but it was so "regular" that it was just kind of another drink.

I don't want people to get sore at me. This is different. It deserves mentioning. It was made and is an accomplishment. It's good. Try it. Like it. Share it.

Website
http://www.mintasoda.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 2 days, 9 hours ago
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Minta Naturally Flavored Mint Soda, Lemon, 10 Fluid Ounce (Pack of 24)

Earp's Original Sarsaparilla

Earp's Original Sarsaparilla

“Gambler. Lawman. Soda Enthusiast.” I’m pretty sure that is the inscription on Wyatt Earp’s tombstone (full pun intended). It’s commonly known that when the shootout at OK Corral was going on Earp called for a time out, Zach Morris style, then he handed everyone involved a nice cold bottle of sarsaparilla, which they enjoyed until they returned to their bloodbath. No one really knows how he kept the soda cold, or where he had it stored, but everyone involved recalled that it was very thoughtful and it really hit the spot at that exact moment.

The Earp family has now aged a few generations, and have decided to bottle and sell their own sarsaparilla. Their wares are the smoothest sarsaparilla I have ever tasted. It has the creaminess of a root beer and not the quasi-harsh sharpness that one equates to this flavor of soda. The general sarsaparilla flavor is there, but it just doesn’t have the bite that I want. I did enjoy the soda, but it didn’t blow me away like a lot of sarsaparilla does. I feel like I’ve typed out that word far too many times now. Sarsaparilla.

Website
http://www.orcabeverage.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 5 days, 8 hours ago
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Earps Sarsaparilla 12 Pack

Brownie Caramel Cream Root Beer

Brownie Caramel Cream Root Beer

Hey kid, come here. Do you like caramel? What? No, I’m not a creepy pervert. Oh man, I just realized how this probably looks; me rolling up in a white van calling a kid over and talking about candy. This is bad. I have no ill intent I swear! I’m just part of the marketing team for Brownie Root Beer. They wanted to start something like the “Red Bull Girls.” You know the ones that just drive around and hand out cans. The thing is that it is way easier to hand out cans of energy drinks from a car with a giant can on it, instead of soda from an all-white van. I told marketing that we needed to put a wrap on this thing to let people know what we were all about, but they said it wasn’t in the budget. Now I look like a creep and will probably get put on a sex offenders list or something. I really don’t want to go door to door and talk to my neighbors.

Anyway, if you still want some root beer you can have it. The reason I asked you is you liked caramel is that this is a caramel cream root beer. Personally I’m not a huge fan of it. I’m a big root beer guy, but I find the added flavor rather distracting as it’s really strong. I’d go as far as to say that this is 70% caramel, 25% root beer and 5% cream. Those aren’t great proportions if you ask me. The more I drink the more palatable it becomes, but it’s a little rough at first, especially if you’re not a big caramel fan. I find it hard to be able to describe how the root beer aspect of this soda tastes because it has been so overpowered.

I really should look for a new line of work, as I seemingly talked you out of accepting a free soda and it looks like you’re on your cell phone calling the police. I’m outta here.

Website
http://www.orcabeverage.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Pure Cane Sugar
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 6 days, 12 hours ago
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(Retro) Brownie Caramel Cream Root Beer 12 Pack

Olamendi's La Pinata Cola

Olamendi's La Pinata Cola

It's been a long time since I've had a cola. I never drink the stuff. I don't drink pop unless it's for Thirsty Dudes and I've been doing a really crappy job of reviewing drinks as of late. Look, I can look in the mirror and be honest with myself. I've dropped the ball a lot. That being said, we've drank a lot of drinks and unless we slow down, there won't be anything else to drink.

This is...I don't know what this is. Is this a champagne cola? "La Pinata" is sort of a Spanish thing, right? It's got a little bit of a fruit flavor but doesn't taste like bubble gum like most straight cola champagnes are. It's got a good cola flavor, though. It's not too light and the fruit gives it a good alternative taste to a straight cola. I wish I could share this with someone while slamming at a piñata and having a parrot on my shoulder like in the label. Parrots rule. I'd rather have a parrot than a hundred piñatas. Unless it's that piñata from Billy Madison that is filled with Rolex watches. I'd take that over a parrot. I could hock a Datejust and just go out and buy a parrot. One for me and one for Pico, my scarlet macaw.

Website
http://www.olamendisgf.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman 1 week, 1 day ago
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Honest Berry Hibiscus Lemonade

Honest Berry Hibiscus Lemonade

Here we are in Buffalo, NY. It’s early May and that means the weather went from a potential of snow to 85+ degrees overnight. That’s not really an exaggeration either. It snowed like two weeks ago and now I feel like I’m dying of heat. This weekend has been gorgeous outside and I should have been out riding my bike or wandering around the woods, but instead I’ve been stuck indoors working on my house. Buying a house alone when you have less than rudimentary skills when it comes to fixing things, and doing it all yourself instead of hiring people is probably one of the dumber things I’ve done with my life, but things are kind of starting to shape up and it feels remotely like a home.

While I may not be basking in the warmth of the sun, I have been sweating away while working and I have been refreshing myself with this ultimate summer drink. Lemonade=Summer. When you add berries and hibiscus to that and you’ve got the makings for the best summer ever. If I keep drinking this there is no way that my summer won’t be filled with late nights, a ton of hikes, exploring, adventures and cliff jumping until my body tells me it can swim no more.

Since this drink is made by Honest that means the sugar content isn’t through the roof, which is always appreciated. It’s just sweet enough to get the flavor where you want it without feeling like you’re going to have a mouthful of cavities. I really can’t get enough of this and I need to venture out and purchase more. More companies need to embrace hibiscus. It makes everything better and it blends in perfectly with the berries here to give you just the faintest floral flavor. Honest, you’ve done it again.

Website
http://www.honesttea.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fair Trade Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Lemonade
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 5 days ago
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Aquafina Flavorsplash Sparkling Color Me Kiwi

Aquafina Flavorsplash Sparkling Color Me Kiwi

Why do these beverages exist? Does anyone actually enjoy them, or have people tricked themselves into thinking that it is something that they enjoy? It was only recently that I finally came around to seltzer water, but I can now say that I truly enjoy it, well some flavors. Armed with that knowledge it’s a safe bet that never in a million years would I choose a carbonated beverage sweetened with sucralose over one with no sweetener whatsoever. Actually that same could probably said about any type of beverage. The sucralose taste is so strong that it nearly blocks out the fake kiwi flavor, which isn’t all that great anyway. Something went very wrong in the development of this beverage and it starts with the letter S and ends in “lose.”

Website
http://www.aquafina.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 6 days ago
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Red Bull Total Zero Orange Edition

Red Bull Total Zero Orange Edition

I don’t know anyone that enjoyed Red Bull the first time they drank it. It has a weird, unusual, quasi-chemical taste that is fairly off-putting at first. That being said I do know a decent amount of people who drank it for its functionality and grew to love it. It has a flavor all its own, and I went from thinking it was disgusting to wishing there was a non-energy version so that I could drink it more often.

When the company released new flavors I was excited because I had high hopes for that original formula with some added flavor to it. Unfortunately that is not what we get. There is no trace of the original Red Bull flavor in here. It’s just tastes like the most diet version of Tang you could ever imagine, watered down and carbonated. It was sadly not enjoyable at all. The diet flavor is just too much, and that is coming from someone who prefers the diet version of the original to the sweetened one. Too much sucralose is no one’s friend and after trying two cans to see if it would grow on me like it did way back in the beginning, I can assure you I will not be going back for a third.

Website
http://www.redbull.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 1 week, 6 days ago
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Red Bull Orange Edition, Zero Calorie, Energy Drink, 8.4-Fluid Ounce Cans, 4 Pack

Cheribundi Refresh Tart Cherry Cranberry

Cheribundi Refresh Tart Cherry Cranberry

If someone were to tell me that I needed to try a cherry/cranberry juice I would think, “That sounds delicious, but I bet it’s super harsh.” Both fruits are known to be a bit overwhelming in their pure form, so I was fairly shocked at how smooth this juice was. It had no hard edges, and the taste was just ridiculously good. I know this isn’t pure juice, as it’s part of their Refresh line, but I absolutely loved this. Both flavors are very present but complement each other in a way that I never would have expected. Cheribundi has never been a company to slouch on their quality, but someone must have taken great pride in concocting this mixture.

Website
http://www.cheribundi.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 3 days ago
Comments
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Cheribundi Tart Cherry Juices, Cranberry Refresh, 16.9 Ounce (Pack of 12)

Positive Energy Peach Mango Lemonade

Positive Energy Peach Mango Lemonade

Like I said before, Positive Energy’s lemonade line is way better than their juice line. Both have caffeine from green coffee beans added to them, but the difference is that the lemonades also have added sugar (and stevia), which is really kind of necessary to mask the taste of the caffeine.

It does seem odd to me to add caffeine to lemonade, since in my mind it’s a relaxing, refreshing beverage. I never think of lemonade when I’m being active, or need an extra boost of energy. Actually the only time I really think of lemonade is when it’s blistering hot out and I’ve been in the sun (and probably resemble a lobster as a result). Maybe I’m just not as big of a lemonade enthusiast at others.

This has a really strong peach and mango flavor to it, with the lemonade aspect f it coming mostly as an aftertaste. Again, it’s not what I think of when I think of lemonade, but that doesn’t make it a bad thing. I actually really like the non-lemon fruit flavor that’s in here. It covers up the caffeine even more than the sugar, and the stevia taste is all but nonexistent. This is certainly my favorite product that Positive Energy has put out. I wish the others were this good as well.

Website
http://www.drinkpositiveenergy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Lemonade
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 3 days ago
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Positive Energy: Pure Juice + Natural Caffeine (Peach Mango Lemonade + Natural Caffeine)
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