Teavana - 5 Reviews

As each one of my family members drank this we all said the same thing, "Smells like strawberries. Tastes like nothing." and that was absolutely true. Where did the flavor go? Was it stolen? Was it stolen to pay the price on someone who was a friend, family or coworker of the company's head? People can get into some sketchy situations and if you stick by your friends, you'll do some crazy things. While I'm not saying that Doreen from the accounting department isn't worth sacrificing 98% of the flavor of this tea, I might ask if Skip from accounts receivable might take one for the team so that we could have it back.

This tea tastes like nothing. It smells like fresh, real strawberries and then you take a sip and ask the age old question, "Am I dead?" It doesn't taste like anything, including the green tea base that should also be there. It might taste like the aftertaste of a strawberry. It tastes like memories. Sad memories of what could have been. Sad thoughts of what might happen to Skip so that you can enjoy unsweetened tea. We all have dreams. Skip might not for long, though.

When there is a line of beverages comes out that is on the fancier side of things I get excited. I dust of my spat and polish up the old monocle in preparation for greatness. More often than not there is one flavor in said line that just doesn't live up the uniqueness of the others. For Teavana it is the mango black tea. I can be all uppity and say something along the lines of, “why don't they make a raspberry one while they are at it?” Mango has become a fairly commonplace flavoring of tea nowadays and it certainly does not like up to the expectations that one has for say a Passion Tango or a Pineapple berry Blue. I certainly wouldn't de-collapse my opera hat for such a peasant's beverage.

Yeah, all of the above is me being a pretentious buffoon. This tea is wonderful and it is incredibly far from being a tea that anyone would call common. The ingredients are listed as tea infusion, sugar, natural flavors and citric acid. Now most mango flavored teas use some sort of syrup that isn't actually derived from the fruit and it shows. This tastes like someone cut up a half dozen mangos and let their juicy sweetness just soak into the brewed tea. This tastes so much like actual mango that I am a bit dumbfounded that mango juice isn't an ingredient. Teavana you've won me over yet again. Keep them coming.

Have you ever tasted the liquid gold that is Starbucks Passion Tea? Are you like me and love ever second of it but something about buying it from them makes you feel dirty? Sure I probably buy a ton of stuff from much worse companies, but I grew up in a time when coffee shops weren't so sterile and we're actually pretty seedy a lot of the time. They were a haven for artists, musicians and junkies. I miss that. I blame Starbucks for the homogenization of them. I'm sure most people see that as a plus, not this guy.
Anyway, so I've bought the tea leaves myself to make it at home and then never comes out the same. It's tasty, but not nearly as delicious. This is hibiscus with cinnamon, apple, licorice root, and lemongrass. It's how I dream anything hibiscus should taste, yet few do. So here I am, brewing tea that never turns out as good, cursing my inability. Then Teavana releases these ready to drink versions. Sure they are sweetened (not too much) and I'd prefer them to be unsweetened, but I will take what I can get when it comes to this incredible spiced floral tea. Now I need to work on not downing the entire bottle so fast and learn to sip and not gulp.

I went in to 7-11 looking for one thing and left for something probably way better. I have not had a true Pepsi Fire myself. I say "true" because I got a Slurpee and, in true fashion, I mixed it up. I thought that I would get one for myself tonight but I got sidetracked by this little beauty and what a little beauty it was.

This is lightly sweetened and very strongly flavored. Nice hibiscus flavor. There are "other berries" in there, sure but it's a wonderful evening treat. The rooibos, which I am unfortunately 50/50 on, won me over in this particular drink. Sometimes I feel it can be strong for my taste but everything was done very well here. Very well indeed. There are other flavors out there. Something to think about. Something to dream about.

Once again, let me read the ingredient list to you: Apple pieces, cocoa kernels, chocolate chips (sugar, cocoa mass, cocoa powder), strawberry pieces, natural & artificial flavoring, chili, marigold petals. How many pounds can I sign you up for? Time for a little back story.

I went to a place called the "Chocolate Bar" where they have very good food, great desserts, and, from what I've been told, good chocolate martinis. There, they had a special Aztec hot chocolate that I felt the need to try and it was a wonderful decision. It was a wonderful mix of thick hot chocolate with actual chocolate in it with that nice, dusty, gritty Latin chocolate, spicy cinnamon and maybe nutmeg and chili heat in it. It was awesome. I loved it. I assumed, quite blindly, that this would be similar. I was wrong.

Yes, many of the ingredients are shared between the two and the extra ingredients; strawberry pieces; sound fantastic. Was it? Not particularly. It just didn't have any oomph. With all the ingredients and even in the name "Aztec Fire" you would assume there was some heat in this thing, right? Look, I don't want to sweat when I'm drinking a cup of tea, but I would like to get something that tastes more like a light scratch in my throat. I bought something spicy so make it spicy. If people don't want spicy things, they won't order them. That's something I never understood. People understand that things are spicy and if they are labeled as such, then they should not be accessible to all. People who enjoy spicy food do not want to taste mild food when they order spicy food. This is not spicy but it is a bit fruity and you do get a bit of chocolate, too. I was afraid that the chocolate was going to melt and ruin my infuser. It did not. That was a pro. Silver lining.

I've got a lot more of this to drink and I'm actually happy that the employee didn't reel me in with her line of "This is the last day we're going to have this. At eight tonight we are discontinuing it." Whether or not this is true, don't threaten me. That's not how to push product.