Diet (605 reviews)

Hype Energy MFP Sugar Free

Hype Energy MFP Sugar Free

What does MFP stand for? Major Focused Power? Majestic Forest Provider? Metallica Forever Peeps? Ohh Ohh, maybe it’s Milk for President. All of the above are wrong. After some internet searching it came out that it actually means Money From Patience, wait no that’s not it either. It’s really “Most Full Power.” Seeing as it’s originally from the Netherlands and this is made in Poland I will chalk that up to a poor translation, though my times I’ve spend in both countries the English people spoke was not broken at all. The name isn’t all that exciting, but the cryptic MFP with no explanation on the can gets the desired effect.

Names aside the flavor of this is what is to be expected from a diet energy drink. It tastes like liquid candy that had all its sugar replaced with a zero calorie substitution. It’s nothing new, it’s nothing exciting, but it gets the job done. Normally it’s hard for me to drink a full diet beverage, but the base flavor of energy drinks is either strong to enough to mask, or blends in with the sucralose garbage flavor and it makes it palatable. So it’s got that going for it.

Website
http://www.hype.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 2 weeks, 4 days ago
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Rip It Energy Fuel Citrus X - Sugar Free

Rip It Energy Fuel Citrus X - Sugar Free

If you just happen to be a sadistic little so and so, may I recommend forcing people to drink this energy drink. The reason being that it may just be the single most diet tasting drink that I have ever had the displeasure of drinking. I mean I knew this was diet when I was going into it, but woo does it taste so damn diet. I want to say it tastes like a diet mountain dew with the sucralose increased 300%, but it’s a slight different citrus taste to it. It’s actually hard to make out the actual citrus taste through the insane amount of sucralose that I can only assumed is in this can. So, if you want to see people do a spit take in disgust feed them this. Otherwise I don’t know who this is for.

Website
http://www.ripitenergy.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 weeks, 3 days ago
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Starbucks Refreshers Black Chery Limeade

Starbucks Refreshers Black Chery Limeade

It seems that Starbucks is easing back on advertising their Refresher line as “Natural energy from green coffee extract.” I mean it’s still in there, but it’s just not boldly proclaimed on the front of the can. Instead they are leaning on the coconut water and real fruit juice angle. Whatever they are pushing it is still the same product, well with coconut water added. I think the result is supposed to resemble a natural Gatorade for adults. It has the coconut water and juice to help rehydrate and refresh you, with the added bonus of caffeine to keep you moving. Then again there isn’t such sodium in this so I’m probably totally off base. It’s also carbonated, so yeah ignore that comparison. I should probably go back and just delete that part, but it looks like I’m going to just keep typing out my thoughts and forgo any professionalism. To reiterate Refreshers do not equal adult Gatorade. They always have seemed like kind of a hangover drink to me. I wonder what percentage of their sales are used for that purpose.

I suppose I should tough on the taste of this thing. It tastes like a lighter black cherry soda. Makes sense right. That’s not a flavor I’m overly fond of, but lucky for me there is some lime in the aftertaste and that is something I can get behind. It is all improved through the use of real juice and not just some syrupy mix. I think it might be the coconut water that is making it taste lighter. It just smooths is out a little. Oh wait I just saw that salt is an ingredient so I’m back on the adult Gatorade kick. Nothing but staunch professionalism here.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coconut, Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 3 weeks, 6 days ago
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Starbucks Doubleshot Protein Dark Chocolate

Starbucks Doubleshot Protein Dark Chocolate

Doubleshot has a double meaning apparently. It can either mean coffee and energy, or as with this product coffee and protein. I think I would have preferred the former. I was really into the idea of dark chocolate coffee. I mean I’ve had dark chocolate mocha before and it’s nearly always great. The thing is Starbucks tends to go a bit overboard for my tastes when they introduce milk into their prepackaged beverages, and the addition of protein amplifies even that. This really just tastes like a dark chocolate milk with a splash of coffee in it. The opposite would have been more appreciated. I suppose you know what you’re getting into when you are drinking a whey protein drink, but I was just hoping for something that didn’t taste like it came directly from a dark brown cows udder. The upside of this is that it is sweetened with a combo of sugar and erythritol and I drank the whole thing without realizing there was a zero calorie sweetener involved. That always gets a thumbs up from me.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee, Diet
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 9th, 2018
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Mountain Dew Kickstart Energizing Blood Orange

Mountain Dew Kickstart Energizing Blood Orange

For some reason I decided to give Mountain Dew Kickstart another chance. Oh yeah, that reason is that it’s my job of sorts. Well, I pretty much feel exactly the same about this product as I did with the first handful of flavors when they were released; it’s pretty meh. The combination of high fructose corn syrup and sucralose leaves it too diet tasting to care about the calories it’s saving you, but also it has too many calories too deal with the chemical taste. Also, the juice content is still very minimal (5%). If this were a regular or a full fledge diet blood orange Mountain Dew I could enjoy it more, but the way it is presented now just feels like the company is trying to pull a fast one on consumers. I know they aren’t and I get where they are going, but it’s just not working out.

Website
http://www.mountaindew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 8th, 2018
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Coca-Cola Diet Ginger Lime

Coca-Cola Diet Ginger Lime

Let us rejoice. The unthinkable has been done. Coke has created a diet soda that can be enjoyed by everyone. So far the other flavors of their new line of diet colas have been fairly decent, but this one steps up the diet game. I don’t know if it is the ginger, the lime or the combination of the two, but whatever it is it masks the taste of the aspartame very well. So much in fact that this only tastes vaguely diet, even though there are 0g of sugar in here. I know it’s heresy to make comparisons between the big two, but this makes me think of the Pepsi 1893 ginger soda, if it were diet. Mixing ginger with cola is a great idea that I can’t believe wasn’t widely manufactured until recently. They blend together into something new and wonderful. The lime also just blends in with that. None of the flavors really stand out, and I suppose that is why the diet taste is also blended into that solid new flavor. Sure, by the end of the can the diet-ness of it gets stronger, but I feel like my last sip was only as strong as a regular diet Coke.

Website
http://www.coca-cola.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Aspartame
Categories
Diet, Ginger, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 26th, 2018
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Rockstar Mojito

Rockstar Mojito

This…oh boy…this drink. This is something. The something this is just happens to be one of the worst beverages I have ever tasted. At first my brain told me that this tastes the way that horses smell. I know that shouldn’t be correct, since horses smell nothing like mint nor lime, but that was the signal that my taste buds were reporting back to my cranium. I don’t even know if that makes any sense to anyone, so I will put it another way. This also tastes like what I could only assume it would be like if you cool a bottle of coolant for a car and mixed in the fakest lime flavor you have ever tasted and then gave it some sort of coolness that you will then try to trick people into thinking is mint, even though it tastes nothing like any sort of mint that you have tried before. I couldn’t make it past a few sips of this. I really tried too, because I knew I was going to have a very late night, but I just could not convince myself that by drinking this I was drinking poison that would inevitably lead to my death.

This is the single worst energy drink I have ever tasted and I can only pray to whatever gods it is that I (don’t) believe in that it is discontinued.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 25th, 2018
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Bai Lambari Watermelon Lime

Bai Lambari Watermelon Lime

I think if Thirsty Dudes could have one sponsor it would be Big Lots. I believe that I speak for both Jay and myself when I say that for drinks, it's a great place. They never have the same thing and you could go once a month and find new stuff. It's not the best stuff, sure. It's not the most high end stuff, sure. Sometimes you find a lot of the same stuff but anything that's there a lot is truly and undeniably garbage at best. Recently they've been getting some nicer stuff though like Bruce Cost, Illy and Belvoir. Maybe they know we're going there.

This last time I went with my brother who has never "Thirsty Dude'd" with me and he just watched as I nonchalantly knocked drink after drink into my handcart. This being one of them and I'm glad I did because it's pretty darn good. Somehow the lime does cut through and ruin everything. The watermelon flavor was light and first followed by the lime. They're also doing a good job at taming their array of sweeteners because it no longer tastes like Stevia threw up in your mouth. It's also in a nice, small can so you don't get overwhelmed by the flavor. It's sweet. Not too sweet but I think anything larger than this there would be remainders.

Big Lots, if you're listening, we're accepting offers.

Website
http://www.drinkbai.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Bai Natural Sweetener Blend (Erythritol and Organi
Categories
Diet, Juice, Sparkling
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 19th, 2018
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Star Wars Sparkling Vitamin Drink Space Punch

Star Wars Sparkling Vitamin Drink Space Punch

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away..and by that I mean a few months ago in Delaware this beverage was “bottled.” Star Wars has always been known for its merchandising, but this one seems a bit ridiculous. Space Punch? Are they serious? This seems like it should be some sort of knock off product, you know like something that would be featured on a Star Wars version of bootlegbart.com. The slit on Kylo Ren’s mask would go vertically and his light sabre would be bright green or something like that. We live in a strange world though in which Disney owns Star Wars and has licensed it out for this product.

At first I thought the price point on this was a bit high for a kid’s drink. Then I noticed that the vitamin content of this was mostly B vitamins and Niacin aka vitamins used in energy drinks. It was then that it hit me that when I was a kid everything Star Wars related was directed towards children, but nowadays a bunch of it must be marketed towards adults because those kids that were fanatics about it in the 80’s are now all grown up. If this were made for kids it would taste like Flintstone’s chewable vitamins dissolved into fruit punch. Instead it tastes like Centrum multivitamins were ground up and put in the juice. It has a very non-candy like vitamin taste to it. At least the fruit punch aspect of it tastes great.it is composed of grapefruit, pear, orange, blueberry, blackberry and raspberry juice mixed together. If you took out the vitamins and most definitely left out the completely unnecessary erythritol this would be a punch that would truly be out of this world. Instead it just tastes a bit earthy and a bit diet. The force was not with A Drink Department One when they dreamt this up.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Juice, Sparkling
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 15th, 2018
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Coca-Cola Diet Twisted Mango

Coca-Cola Diet Twisted Mango

We live in a golden age for diabetics. Seriously if I had “Sugar,” as my grandmother called it, I wouldn’t want to live in any other era of beverages. The recent fitness boom has overflowed the market with brand after brand of beverages that use zero calorie sweeteners. I would be walking down the street, kicking my heels at all of the stevia laden drinks out there just waiting for me to pour them down my throat. Being as I do not have that particular affliction and I watch my weight in other ways, I find myself mostly avoiding those same drinks, and wishing a lot of them either were made with real sugar, or with no sweetener at all. I am not a petty man though and I am happy for my fellow humans who are in a better place because of it.

For too long the choices of the “diet drinkers” have been so limited, so I was glad to see that Coke had released a line of unusually flavored diet colas. Mike had tried the blood orange version and her thought it was fairly horrible. When you’re not acclimated to diet sweeteners they can be pretty potent and take over the flavor. We try to look past that in our reviews and try to think how people who drink this stuff all the time would view it, but sometimes that can be hard, especially when the soda is sweetened with aspartame, I mean who uses that anymore? I kind of thought it had really been completely phased out for sucralose and stevia. When I first opened this I thought it smelled vaguely like some sort of cleaner, but the taste was actually pretty pleasant. The mango is strong and it hides the diet flavor pretty well. It also masks the cola flavor, which is unfortunate. I would have wanted mostly cola with a hint of mango, but I was delivered the reverse. About halfway through the can something happened and the aspartame really started to seep through. I don’t know if it was because it had warmed up a bit, or if it had just settled to the bottom half of the can, but it got pretty bad and I didn’t finish it all. That first half was decent though, even for someone who doesn’t enjoy diet sodas. I hope for the sake of a good portion of the population that this sticks around because it’s something different for them to enjoy.

Website
http://www.coca-cola.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Aspartame
Categories
Diet, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 14th, 2018
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