Sports/Dietary Supplement (143 reviews)
Sobe Energize Power Fruit Punch
Welcome to gym class weaklings! You’re in high school now and that means you’re in the big leagues, and no we will not be chewing shredded bubble gum. If I even think one of you has a wad of chewing stuff in their mouth it’s five laps of the track for all of you! As I was saying you’re in the big leagues now and you’re going to work like dogs. Say so long to the world of badminton and square dancing and say hello to the burnt hands of the rope climb and the slashed shins of floor hockey. For those of you wimps who have doctors notes to excuse you from my class, you will be sitting on the bleachers writing me a five-page paper each class on how you could only wish in your deepest dreams that you could ring the bell at the time of the rope. While you are doing this you will also be sipping from childish milk cartons filled with childish fruit punch. The rest of us will spend seven minutes at the beginning of each class laughing at you while we crush bottles of big boy drinks. That’s right gentleman, at the beginning of every class it is mandatory for each of you to drink a bottle of Sobe Energy. We’ve got an assortment of flavors but the Power Fruit Punch is what I assume most of you will choose, since you are just little boys posing as grown men. It is full of aronia and grape juice according to the label. I always thought it was blueberries and cranberries from the picture, but what do I know about fruits, I’m no fruitologist. Actually now that I know I was wrong about the fruits contained with in the flavor makes more sense. It’s has a grape flavor if grapes were from some tropical region. Does that make sense? It doesn’t? Well it looks like you just bought yourself 50 pushups Mr. Smartypants. Whatever it tastes like, it’s tasty and you should feel proud to be able to down it. It’s got taurine, caffeine and guarana in it, so it will give you a nice energy boost for class, as well as the rest of the school day. I don’t want to hear anything about sensitivity to caffeine or heart problems. You will drink it and you will like it. Now, BOMBARDMENT!
- Website
- http://www.sobe.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 1 week ago
Glaceau Vitamin Water Revive
Oh the original line of Vitamin Water. How many bottles of you have I downed over the years? Dozens? Of course. Hundreds? Certainly. Thousands? Now that might be pushing it.
You see for years I had chronic stomach pain. I would wake up fine, but by the time I went to sleep at night I was in intense pain. I went to the doctor in 2001 to get it checked out and he gave me some pills. They worked a bit, but my insurance ran out and I didn’t go back to see a doctor for over a decade. I learned to live with the pain. Then I went on tour in Europe and after a few days I noticed the pain was subsiding. By the time I headed back to the States it was gone. The first thing I did when I got home was to grab a slice of good pizza and drink a can of Arizona. That night my pain returned. I was extremely confused. It took me awhile before I discovered that most European companies don’t use high fructose corn syrup. I decided to try cutting it out of my beverage diet. Again the pain went away. I had the secret to a stomach pain free life. Around that time Vitamin Water was one of the few companies readily available in gas stations that didn’t use HFCS. I started drinking it constantly, to an extent that was probably unhealthy.
During this time Revive was one of my favorites. It’s supposed to be fruit punch, but it doesn’t exactly taste like it, maybe a little, but a very, very light version of it. I would narrow it down to more of a berry based fruit punch rather than a tropical one. If you haven’t tried this before I’d be shocked. Now you know a stupid story abut me that doesn’t affect your life at all. You also know very little about this drink. Here’s a bit more. It’s not overly sweet, but it’s fairly flavorful. You know what? You can find this anywhere so just spend the dollar and try it yourself.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 1 week, 2 days ago
Glaceau Vitamin Water Focus
Sometimes life gets you down and you don’t know what to do to make things right. It is the job of your best friend to recognize these times and do the only thing that could possibly save the day: take you to the dirt mall to see a fortuneteller. There is nothing that the dirt mall fortuneteller cannot see about your future. She will guide you onto the righteous path. When you settle down in her stall she will tell you to relax and to focus. She will have a Eastern European accent, so don’t let your mind drift to dark places. Also, don’t let it drink to this wonderful drink. I understand that it is easy to focus on Focus, but that’s not why you’re there. You’re there to sort your life out. It is very fruity and refreshing though. It’s hard to not slip into a train of thought that is filled with strawberries and just the slightest hint of kiwi. A train of thought that is smooth and light, not too syrupy like many thought trains are. It’s like a dinning car fill with vitamins and minerals that are needed when you spend most of your meals in a food court. Sure it doesn’t really taste the way strawberries do, but more like the way strawberry scented things smell. It’s strange that it is still enjoyable, but it is.
Now what did she just say? Ahh yes that your birthday falls between the first and last of Oct-To-Ber.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose and Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 2 weeks ago
Eldorado Vitamin Charged Natural Spring Water Pink Passion Guava
When Mike handed me this drink all I could think about was Duck Tales. Remember the mini series where they go in search of the Seven Cities of Gold? I’m pretty sure it was El Dorado that they were looking for. Man, I loved those episodes. They had the bad guy who was wheezy all the time. It was great. I feel like they used to rerun those episodes all the time. Also, remember that time they went to search for a lost relic, and it ended up actually being relish and Scrooge had just misheard it. Now that is the comedic gold of El Dorado.
This drink may not have that kind of gold in it, but it’s decent. It has a light non-citrus tropical flavor to it. I wouldn’t place it as either guava or passionfruit though. It’s almost flowery tasting, but not quite. I do enjoy it. I just would have given it a different name. It also contains no fruit juice, and has taurine in it for some reason. It doesn’t say anything about it being an energy drink, so that is a bit odd.
I wonder if Duck Tales is streaming on Netflix. Nope. They have the first three seasons available on DVD though. I may have to get those.
- Website
- http://eldoradosprings.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 3 weeks ago
KIDStrong Grape
Calling something "clearly" anything, I feel, is a bit insulting. It's like using the word "obviously" as if to say, "You dumb dummy. It's obviously a 1981 MGB." I know, I know. It's called "clearly" because it's clear, but still...a titch too much for my liking. Speaking of "my liking" I liked this a handful more than the previous one I reviewed. This one still has a strange thickness to it, but it's totally drinkable and the grape flavor is pretty good. If I had a kid that didn't drink bottles who needed to be hydrated, I would let him have this.
We're half and half with this company and that's more than I can say for most companies so congratulations.
- Website
- http://www.kidstrong.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Gatorade Perform 02 Frost Glacier Freeze
In the 25 years that I lived at home our fridge always had a jug of "blue juice" in it. Yes that's right I didn't move out of my mom's house until I was 25. Sure I could have gotten my own place much sooner, but I was on tour a lot and paying for an apartment when I was gone for a good chunk of time seemed stupid (I did pay my mom rent for the time I was in Buffalo). My living situation isn’t the important aspect of this story, the “blue juice” is. That neon fluid was two packets of Kool Aid’s Sharkleberry Fin (or whatever the name of that flavor was at the time) and way too much sugar. Our house was famous for this drink, and if we were ever out and my friends went to get a glass there was certainly a minor scene. This may seem like a pointless story, but it is relevant because this drink tastes like Gatorade’s version of blue juice. Sure, it has a lot less sugar and that very specific Gatorade taste to it, but the base is all Sharkleberry Fin. I rarely drink Gatorade, but the flavor of this brings me back to a better time before rent and bills were an issue. A time where my friends and I had more of a claim to my family’s house than my mom did. Strange times.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 4 weeks ago
Activate Workout Pink Grapefruit
The thing I hate about Vitamin Water is my intake of stale vitamins. There's nothing worse than taking a nice big gulp of a cool refreshing beverage and getting a mouthful of old vitamin. This is apparently what Activate wants you to think. I don't know if it's even possible for vitamins to go stale, and it has never affected the taste of my Vitamin Water, but I do like the novelty of the Activate line.
These drinks come in two parts; a bottle of water that is sweetened with stevia and a cap full of powdered vitamins. You twist one part of the cap and the vitamins drop into the water, which you then shake up. The idea is that the vitamins are healthier because they are fresh. Aren't the vitamins the same age whether they already come in the water or not? I suppose it doesn't really matter, it's still fun.
This tastes like what a modern grandmother would have for breakfast. Every morning my grandmother would cut a grapefruit in half and dust it with sugar, then chow down with the tiniest knife and spoon I have ever seen. I think she may have stolen them from some tiny race of people in the forest, but I can't be sure. So yeah, I can only assume a more health conscious modern grandmother would dust her grapefruit with stevia. If you ate said grapefruit right after eating your chewable kids vitamins, then took a sip of water then you would know exactly what this drink tastes like. The flavor is light and faint. The stevia is there, but not overpowering. Just like it should be. Well played activate. Now I just need to see if your vitamins really are fresher and healthier, or if you're just a big stupid liar head.
- Website
- http://www.activatedrinks.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Rebaudiana Leaf Extract
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/18/2012
Glaceau Vitamin Water Spark
According to the Tori Amos song, which I can only assume like a great big idiot is the namesake of this drink "She's convinced she could hold back a glacier." Well maybe, just maybe she could hold back a wall of ice, but even if she could do that, there is absolutely no way she could hold back the monumental force of Glaceau as a company or in the way of flavor. Vitamin water has become as commonplace as Coke or Pepsi and that is something they should be proud of. They have done it with quality tasting drinks as well (okay their "Zero" line could use some work).
This is the first time I've tried the Spark flavor and I can assure you that it will be my new go-to flavor when I'm at random gas stations in the middle of nowhere America. I really think they should rethink what they are calling this flavor though. They have dubbed it "grape-blueberry" but obviously they modeled the flavor off of the blue Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip. It tastes exactly like you licked the white sugar stick, stuck in the package and then bit a big chunk of it off. It's delicious, but this drink tastes less sugary than the actual candy (which is basically solidified sugar dipped into powdered sugar). Also, it is fine to share this drink with someone, where it should be completely unacceptable to share your Lik-M-Aid. No one wants to double dip into your spit sugar.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/10/2012
Crayons Sports Drink Playoff Punch
Look son, I don't know how else to say this, but you've been sucking this season at T-ball. I'm sorry, but as your daddy, I feel like I should be the one to tell you. You're not the worst kid on the team, but I feel like even the worst player on the team could have caught that pop fly you missed by a good ten feet today. Are you alright? Do you need glasses? Do you need me to take you to that new giant glasses store on the Boulevard and get you a pair of specs? I will. If there is anything I can do to increase your T-ball stats, please, let me know. I know you're only eight, but money is no object. Todd, Kenny's daddy, asked me if you were feeling alright. You know how I felt at that moment? Humiliated.
What's that? You're just thirsty and you are thinking of drinks when you are on the field? Well, I guess that just plain old water isn't doing the trick before a game so let's see what we've got here. Oh, hey, you like drawing, right? Well I just found this drink called Crayons so you can let it draw a line to your throat and you can draw me the size of the trophy case you want after you start playing like a champ again. Flavor? Oh, it's punch. You like fruit punch, right? Sure you do. You're eight. Salty? I wouldn't use that as an adjective to describe a drink. Let me try that. Fruity and...Oh, there it is. You're right. Salty. If you like that, I have some pretzels that you can have if you think that it will get you out of this rut of crappy T-ball playing. You're right. Aside from the light saltiness, it's pretty good. It certainly went down fast enough. It's like kids Gatorade. Also, strangely, for something listed as "all natural", you would think that there would be more than 0% fruit juice.
How are you feeling, buddy. Are you glad we have this talk? I am. You're going to do great next week. We can practice all day so you do better and not humiliate me any more.
- Website
- http://www.drinkcrayons.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Evaporated Cane Juice
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/10/2012
Gatorade Prime 01 Fruit Punch
Let me get this straight. It's January 7th, I'm in Buffalo, NY and it's 45 degrees? Well that seems completely insane. Anyone who doesn't believe in global warming should check themselves, because it's hear and we're loving it (well until summer comes, and until ice caps melt and we all float away). To celebrate I took my old bike (my good one has a flat tire randomly) out for a ten mile ride. It wasn't too long, but when you haven't ridden in three months and it still feels pretty cold when you're riding fast and the wind is blasting you in the face. I still had a good time though. I like adventuring through random backstreets and seeing where I end up. For reference I have absolutely no sense of direction and I get lost easily, which is what makes this fun.
In order to prepare I layered up on clothes and realized it was time to give this Gatorade Prime 01 a test drive. When Mike drank one he said that it had an almost slimy texture. I couldn't agree more. "Almost slimy" is the perfect way to describe it. As your squeezing it into your mouth from the pouch it feels super slimy. Almost like quarter machine slime. Then when it's in your mouth for a second it seems just like a slightly thicker Gatorade. It's weird. I don't know why it feels like a different consistency, but it does and it's strange. The flavor of it falls pretty much dead center between regular fruit punch Gatorade and straight up Gatorade concentrate.
I was weary about drinking this, but the flavor and consistency was much better than anticipated. It also made me chock full of carbs and B vitamins.
- Website
- http://www.gatorade.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/7/2012
