Aspartame (36 reviews)
Squirt Diet Citrus Soda
Step 1: Take a grapefruit and cut it in half.
Step 2: Take a 9 volt battery and shove it into the grapefruit.
Step 3: Juice the grapefruit into a tall glass. Add ice to taste.
Step 4: Drink your homemade Diet Squirt.
- Website
- http://www.squirtsoda.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland 4 weeks, 1 day ago
- Comments
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Dr. Pepper Diet
Have you ever heard the Patton Oswalt bit he does about an open mic he hosted in Toronto? Well it is relevant to this review since the guy he talks about in the bit is named Dr. Pepper. You know what, do yourself a favor and listen to/watch the bit:
Sadly this can of Diet Dr. Pepper isn't as funny as that. It's not as bad as most diet sodas, but it's also not as good as most other varieties of Dr. Pepper. At least we got to hear a funny bit from Patton Oswalt right?
- Website
- http://www.drpepper.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 1/25/2013
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Capone Family Secret Diet Root Beer
Al Capone. You and your cronies have done a wonderful thing here. You have broken the correct legs to get to this diet root beer. All of those threats, violin cases filled with Tommy guns, guitar cases filled with machine guns, briefcases filled with handguns have allowed you to create one of the best diet root beers I have ever had. The slight taste of diet in this is quickly smoothed over with a nice root beer taste complete with vanilla. This is better than some regular root beers I have had and that is saying a lot.
I trust that with this review, we will be in your good graces so when I pass your men on the street, which, if I may be so frank, are blatant since normally I don't see a gaggle of men in pinstriped suits, they will give me a nod and be on their way. I will leave you to your business of smuggling rum into places, underground fighting rings, and other general cahoots that you and your men perform. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. If I may be of any service, please let me know. Know in advance, I do have my limits. I might not be the best man for things like killing, poisoning, slashing tires, bomb installation, or anything in the "almost legal" category. If you want me to be a wheelman, I would love to do that, though.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/23/2013
- Comments
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Faygo Draft Style Diet Root Beer
Mike scored some free tickets for us to go see Insane Clown Posse tonight. Now we both think that they resemble nothing close to good musically, but the whole culture is ridiculous and interesting. Mike compared us to Jane Goodall. We were going to interact with the "apes" in their natural habitat. All I can say is holy was that worth going to. As soon as we walked up to the club the ground was littered with empty Faygo bottles. We tried our hardest not to laugh and upset the natives. We got there right before ICP went on and took our place in the balcony. The show was complete insanity. The music was bad, but I didn't realize how much they ripped off 90's radio hip-hop beats, so that made it tolerable. The show was more than I ever could have expected. There were two huge tubs full of two-liters of Faygo (which creepy clowns kept coming out to refill) and Icp kept grabbing them to pour on the audience. Violent J had his move down. He held the mic with one hand, rapping, and with the other he would open the bottle of pop and shake it up spraying it on the crowd. He had it worked out that his thumb covered the hole, so after a few shakes he let go and the thing shot off like a goddamn rocket. Even in the balcony Mike and I got hit by flying Faygo. I can't imagine cleaning up the club after that. There was Faygo everywhere. They had to have gone through at least 200 two-liters of it. I'm not even exaggerating. I remember reading that Faygo doesn't work with them at all, so they are paying for all that soda, and that's ridiculous. On top of that there were streamers, confetti and feathers (who's going chicken huntin'?) everywhere. One great thing is that with all the "meth mouth" that was in the audience you would expect it to smell terrible at the show. Instead of horrible breath and body odor the entire place reeked of root beer. How great is that?
Twice during the set there were "Faygo Breaks." During this time an army of clowns came out and just poured buckets of Faygo into the audience and tossed out two liters like they were nothing. There were accompanied by an insane strobe light, carnival music and the creepiest chant of "Get some Faygo" that I have ever heard.
I grabbed a stray bottle of diet root beer as it flew by, took a swig and passed it to Mike. He did the same and passed it to the gentleman next to him in the 5XL hockey jersey who had more face paint on than anyone ever should. The dude pounded the rest of the bottle smiled and just said "FAM-A-LY" (yes they pronounce it "A" and not "I"). I can't make this stuff up. The root beer itself was better than I expected. It had a general generic root beer flavor and it didn't taste overly diet.
On our way out we grabbed a 1/4 full bottle of cola and got a video of some down Juggalos chugging it and pouring it on each other. This is a night that we shall not forget, especially since we're legally changing our names to Mikey 2 Dope and Violent J Draper.
Thirsty Dudes. ICP. FAM-A-LY.
- Website
- http://www.faygo.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/29/2012
- Comments
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Doc 360 Diet Cola
I'm thirsty; can you bring me a bottle of Dr. Pepper? All you have is a generic Dr. Pepper? Alright, I guess that will do. Why did you...ok, I guess you opened it for me. Thanks! But why are you carrying a vile of battery acid in your other hand? Seriously??!? You're going to skateboard the bottle over to me!? Deny it all you want, I saw some of that battery acid splash up. Ugh, I wish I wasn't so thirsty. Sure soda isn't the best thing for thirst but it's the only thing available right now.
UGH... yup, some battery acid definitely made it's way into the bottle. It's not THAT bad, but still nothing I would go out of my way of experimenting with again.
- Website
- http://www.drinkdoc360.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 10/24/2012
- Comments
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United States Government Lemonade
During World War II, while important battles were going on all over the place, the US Government sent a few spies into Italy to steal something. That something was the recipe for Italian Ice, that fantastic summer treat. It took a couple weeks of recon and infiltration, trust, and lies but they got it. They flew home with the recipe in a metal briefcase handcuffed to the leader.
When they got home it took a week or so to get it right but they got it. This was a big score for the troops because they not only got a sweet treat when the weather was ravaging them, but if they could not freeze it long enough, they would have lemonade. The mix made a good lemonade and they started phasing out the lemon ice. It tasted good, not diet regardless of artificial sweeteners, and reminded the troops of a delicious infiltration so many years ago.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Categories
- Lemonade
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/15/2012
- Comments
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Ferrara Pan Cherryhead Cherry
Charlie hated candy. He didn't hate the taste of it, he was just raised to hate candy by his parents who believed that anything unnatural was wrong and raised him on a very healthy diet of all natural foods. He didn't have a McDonald's hamburger until he was old enough to drive to a McDonald's and get one for himself. One day, when he was nineteen, he went to the store and on his way out he saw a candy machine. He decided that he would try it out. He dug out a quarter and got some Cherryhead candies. He ate two or three and his mind was blown. In the middle of the grocery store he dropped his organic eggs, milk, and screamed. He had missed nineteen years of candy and this was his first time ever having it and he was kicking himself for not being able to try it earlier. He ran to a store clerk and begged him to help him find more Cherryheads. The clerk said they only sold the candy in the vending machine but they sold a powder version of the candy that he could buy. He thought that would be perfect because he could just carry a bottle of water out of the house and fill it when he was on the road and his parent's weren't looking. He eagerly paid for the mix, went home, and went to sleep.
The next day Charlie had to go to work. He jumped out of bed, got ready for work, and jumped in the car. He brought his water with him, drove to an empty lot, parked his car, opened his glove compartment and grabbed the mix. Just as he started to pour the mix, he heard a knock at the window. He jumped, spilling some mix on himself. He looked out the window and it was his dad. He rolled down the window and asked his dad what was up. His dad told him that he was driving and saw his car in this empty lot and wanted to know if everything was alright. Just as he said that, he looked over and saw the box of drink mix. He said to Charlie, "Son, it's alright. I've been sneaking candy past your mother for almost three decades. I've hid it in the laundry chute that I convinced your mother was broken but it's really just blocked by my stash of candy. Just hide it from your mother and you'll be fine. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner." He nodded at his father and shook up his drink mix and took a sip. It tasted exactly like that candy he had in the store yesterday. Just as sweet and just as strong of a cherry taste. He was thrilled. He was also very excited that both he and his dad could bond over the fact that over the next few years, they would hide candy around the house together behind his mom's back.
- Website
- http://www.ferrarapan.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Categories
- Drink Mix/Concentrate
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/4/2012
- Comments
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Pepsi Diet Wild Cherry
Want to make this at home? Here's what you need: two parts diet Pepsi, one part artificial cherry flavor. That will about do it. There's not much else to say about this soda. Luckily the cherry flavor cancels out some of the diet taste and it's semi-enjoyable.
- Website
- http://www.pepsi.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 9/3/2012
- Comments
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Canfield's Diet Chocolate Fudge
There were two things that Mario loved in life. Those two things were chocolate and soda pop. What can you really expect from a six year old? Seriously though, Mario had terrible parents, or so his bedroom would have you believe. It was littered with empty pop cans and chocolate bar wrappers. They said it didn’t matter because he ate it all of the time and he was still “skinny like a bean.” Mario’s parents were idiots. A. All of that garbage would catch up to him weight-wise as he got older. B. I’m sure all of that sugar gave your poor child diabetes or some other disease.
One morning Mario woke up and found that there was not a drop of cola left in the house. On top of that he was out of chocolate bars. He felt like garbage. He now understood why his dad was so irritable on the mornings when he didn’t have coffee. The boy was going through withdrawal. It was as he was writhing in pain on the kitchen floor that he came up with an idea. He took one of his mom’s seltzer waters from the fridge and dumped a whole mess of cocoa powder into it. He grabbed a bunch of sugar packets and pours them into the mixture as well. It’s unfortunate for Mario that he didn’t realize that they weren’t actual sugar, but his mom’s “diet sugar” packets. Mario then took out an oversized spoon and mixed it until it was just a liquid with no powder on top.He took a whiff and it smelled like his mom's chocolate scented lotion. Pleased with himself he took a big gulp and immediately spit it all over the kitchen. His concoction was utterly disgusting. It tasted like a three day old, melted chocolate float that had aspartame in it for some reason. Even though the ice cream had melted, the carbonation remained. Ugh…so gross. Being the scumbag child that he was Mario didn’t even clean up his mess. He just took a five from his mom’s purse and walked down to the corner store to get his provisions. That little bastard.
Up until this pop touched my taste buds I had completely forgotten that Faygo used to make a chocolate cream pie soda. I remember convincing my grandfather to buy me a bottle. I took one sip and thought it was completely revolting, and I felt bad for wasting it. I pretty much had the exact same reaction with this similar tasting pop, except this time I wasted my own money instead of someone else’s.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/22/2012
- Comments
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Red Bull Total Zero
As if the 10 calories in Sugar Free Red Bull were too many, they recently came out with TOTAL ZERO. Imagine those words being emitted by an ominous voice and it makes the drink sound more intimidating. Sadly, it's not really that much different (taste wise) from Sugar Free Red Bull. I was hoping they were going to shake up the Red Bull recipe a little for this, but they stuck with what they know.
- Website
- http://www.redbull.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 7/18/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
- Buy Now
- Red Bull Total Zero, 16 Fl Oz.
