Crystalline Fructose (24 reviews)
Glaceau Vitamin Water Revive
Oh the original line of Vitamin Water. How many bottles of you have I downed over the years? Dozens? Of course. Hundreds? Certainly. Thousands? Now that might be pushing it.
You see for years I had chronic stomach pain. I would wake up fine, but by the time I went to sleep at night I was in intense pain. I went to the doctor in 2001 to get it checked out and he gave me some pills. They worked a bit, but my insurance ran out and I didn’t go back to see a doctor for over a decade. I learned to live with the pain. Then I went on tour in Europe and after a few days I noticed the pain was subsiding. By the time I headed back to the States it was gone. The first thing I did when I got home was to grab a slice of good pizza and drink a can of Arizona. That night my pain returned. I was extremely confused. It took me awhile before I discovered that most European companies don’t use high fructose corn syrup. I decided to try cutting it out of my beverage diet. Again the pain went away. I had the secret to a stomach pain free life. Around that time Vitamin Water was one of the few companies readily available in gas stations that didn’t use HFCS. I started drinking it constantly, to an extent that was probably unhealthy.
During this time Revive was one of my favorites. It’s supposed to be fruit punch, but it doesn’t exactly taste like it, maybe a little, but a very, very light version of it. I would narrow it down to more of a berry based fruit punch rather than a tropical one. If you haven’t tried this before I’d be shocked. Now you know a stupid story abut me that doesn’t affect your life at all. You also know very little about this drink. Here’s a bit more. It’s not overly sweet, but it’s fairly flavorful. You know what? You can find this anywhere so just spend the dollar and try it yourself.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper 1 week, 2 days ago
KIDStrong Grape
Calling something "clearly" anything, I feel, is a bit insulting. It's like using the word "obviously" as if to say, "You dumb dummy. It's obviously a 1981 MGB." I know, I know. It's called "clearly" because it's clear, but still...a titch too much for my liking. Speaking of "my liking" I liked this a handful more than the previous one I reviewed. This one still has a strange thickness to it, but it's totally drinkable and the grape flavor is pretty good. If I had a kid that didn't drink bottles who needed to be hydrated, I would let him have this.
We're half and half with this company and that's more than I can say for most companies so congratulations.
- Website
- http://www.kidstrong.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Mash A Low Calorie Water Drink Pomegranate Blueberry
Oh gee. I hope this doesn't taste like loganberry. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like loganberry. I kind of have to, I mean, I am from Western New York. So, to reiterate, I hope this doesn't taste like loganberry. Oh, fantastic, it tastes like loganberry. Oh great, it's carbonated and filled with artificial sweeteners. Awesome, a diet, carbonated loganberry. Plus, factor in the point that I don't know how much I just paid for this and this adds up to the start of a horror story of a drink. If you had to bottle and flavor a horror movie, it would be this drink. If you could have a flavored knife cut across your jugular, it would be a terribly dull knife that, when licked, would taste like this. If you were to be disemboweled by an inanimate object, a large bottle of this would have protruding arms and legs pulling at your entrails, all the while laughing menacingly and squirting it's liquid in your mouth.
- Website
- http://www.drinkmash.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/12/2012
Glaceau Vitamin Water Spark
According to the Tori Amos song, which I can only assume like a great big idiot is the namesake of this drink "She's convinced she could hold back a glacier." Well maybe, just maybe she could hold back a wall of ice, but even if she could do that, there is absolutely no way she could hold back the monumental force of Glaceau as a company or in the way of flavor. Vitamin water has become as commonplace as Coke or Pepsi and that is something they should be proud of. They have done it with quality tasting drinks as well (okay their "Zero" line could use some work).
This is the first time I've tried the Spark flavor and I can assure you that it will be my new go-to flavor when I'm at random gas stations in the middle of nowhere America. I really think they should rethink what they are calling this flavor though. They have dubbed it "grape-blueberry" but obviously they modeled the flavor off of the blue Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip. It tastes exactly like you licked the white sugar stick, stuck in the package and then bit a big chunk of it off. It's delicious, but this drink tastes less sugary than the actual candy (which is basically solidified sugar dipped into powdered sugar). Also, it is fine to share this drink with someone, where it should be completely unacceptable to share your Lik-M-Aid. No one wants to double dip into your spit sugar.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 1/10/2012
KIDStrong Fruit Punch
As your father and coach, I am telling you that you have to keep hydrated, son. It's no laughing matter when you pass out and miss a pop fly because you didn't drink enough liquids. It's so simple to drink water, but now that it's come this far, you have to drink something else. A re-hydrator. You kids like fruit punch, right? Well here is a fruit punch that's made for brat kids like you who don't know enough to drink when you're supposed to.
Thanks dad, I mean coach, I mean daddy, I mean...why is this clear? Fruit punch is supposed to be red. You don't know? I know you didn't make it, daddy, but it just seems strange. Alright, fine. I'll drink it. It's pretty goo....ugh! What is this? It's not fruit punch! Don't lie to me. Did you do something to this? Are you trying to poison me? Did you marinade band-aids in here or something? It's kind of thick and although has a fruit punch taste, it isn't really sweet and has a bit of a thickness to it. It's not like water. It's almost syrupy. Daddy, why are you doing this to me?
Son, don't be a little girl. Just drink this and the other eleven that came in the case. I don't want my son, the son of the coach of this little league team, to pass out. Dehydration will humiliate me more that it could you. Drink up and meet me in the locker room. Stop crying!
- Website
- http://www.kidstrong.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/10/2011
- Buy Now
- Name Your Link
Mash A Water Drink Ripe Mango - Blood Orange
M.A.S.H. was there ever a television show that was more boring, with a more depressing television show. When I was young it would bum me out so much when I'd be watching cartoons or Three's Company (one of the best shows ever) and they would end and that stupid song would start. Bummer City, Vietnam should have been the name of the show. Now that I'm older maybe I would enjoy the show a bit, but I think my past prejudices would hold up.
Maybe the actors would liven up more if the US Army would have packed their provisions with MASH drink. I didn't know what to expect with this when I bought it. I certainly did not expect it to be carbonated. It says on the bottle "A water drink," but just by seeing it I was calling their bluff. My best guess would have been an extremely intense Vitamin Water type drink. It turns out it was a lot like an Italian soda. It was sharply carbonated and tasted exactly like a mix of mango and blood orange. It was one of the best surprises I've had in awhile in the beverage world. I drank it while I was walking around Columbus, OH and I stumbled across a creepy tunnel that I circumnavigated. (Can you do that if it's not a globe?) I took sips periodically, and by the time I finished it the carbonation was gone and it was flat. Even flat it was still good. At that point it tasted like I originally expected it to; Vitamin Water.
The moral of this story is that instead of watching stupid reruns of M.A.S.H. you should go outside and explore creepy tunnels where you will find nice cats and then stumble upon a hobo encampment.
- Website
- http://www.drinkmash.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 10/25/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Harcos Laboratories Energy Potion Blood
I hate these damn kids who are trying to be vampires. I know people who work in banks are always afraid of being robbed, but who would have thought a blood bank would be robbed on a regular basis? Have there always been teenagers who want to be vampires? Bram Stoker wrote Dracula back in 1897 so they have been a part of popular culture for over 100 years. I obviously wasn't alive back then but I can only assume it inspired some kids to want to drink blood. The earliest vampire craze I can remember vividly is when Buffy: The Vampire Slayer came out but I was still delivering papers back then. Ever since these stupid Twilight books and movies have become popular, I've had at least 3 nerdy teenagers a week trying to steal blood while I work the overnight shift.
Luckily I’ve discovered something to outsmart them. Harcos Labs makes this Blood Energy Potion that looks just like a pouch of blood. I've started to hang them up in front of the real blood pouches so when the kids run in and grab them, they don't get the good stuff. The jokes on them because this stuff tastes like bubble gum that's been soaking in a cup of fruit punch. The high-energy content will also make them twitch. I can only hope that it solves the problem and these kids get a life.
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We originally reviewed this for a Halloween drink article we did for Auxiliary Magazine. To read the full article and to check out the awesome magazine go to http://auxiliarymagazine.com.
- Website
- http://harcoslabs.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 10/18/2011
- Buy Now
- Blood Energy Potion
Glaceau Vitamin Water Defense
On a fluke, sometimes it's really nice in Buffalo. Contrary to popular belief, although it snows like the dickens...Dickens(?)...Who cares? Contrary to popular believe, although it snows like Charles Dickens, the grass and snow sometimes emerge and when they do at the same time, it can be a really nice day. When this blue moon happens, the city knows it and every one goes outside. I'm going to say that the crime rate drops to zero because even the gangsters are drinking lemonade or buying new slacks at local shops. Gunfights are an indoor activity and should not be wasted on nice days like today.
We went out today to Buffalo's one of two beaches which, if you live in suburbia, are smaller than your yard and one of them is landlocked. A novel attempt, but poor delivery and a poor use of my tax dollars, I should say. Regardless, we played in the sand, walked by some WWII battleships, and got some ice cream. It was a nice walk into the sun and it made me quite parched.
While waiting for ice cream, I picked up a Vitamin Water that we somehow didn't do. I was going to get the orange one, because I like it, but the raspberry apple sounded better and more quenching. I made the right choice. It was everything I wanted it to be and was very refreshing, very cold, and I wish I didn't have to share it because I'm home now and am still thirsty. It did actually taste like raspberry and apple and nothing else. It was really good and possibly my new fallback when it comes to Vitamin Water. That says a lot.
To cap the night, I'm sure that there will be drag races outside my window as there are on most night and maybe, just maybe, if I'm lucky, there will be prostitutes outside watching the races, soliciting the racers and passersby. Hey, a woman has to make a living. I won't call the cops on you, girls.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 9/25/2011
Glaceau Vitamin Water Essential
As one can see from reading our reviews, we often compare orange water beverages to Tang. What can we say? It's the original and Mike loves the stuff. He always had a huge container of the powder in his cupboard when we lived together. He also hated astronauts. It's really a worrisome thing. He walks around making this outrageous claims about how there's going to be a fist fight on the fateful day he runs into Neil Armstrong on the street. I really don't get it.
Regardless this does remind me of Tang. It's orange flavored and it's not too thick. It's an old standby in the Vitamin Water world.
- Website
- http://www.glaceau.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement, Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 9/5/2011
Clearly Canadian Daily Vitamin Tropical
When I was in Hawaii a few months back our hotel had a giant water dispenser in the front lobby. For the first two days I didn't bother with it because I thought it was just water and I had my water bottle with me. On the third day Kevyn made me try it. It was water that had various tropical fruits floating in it that flavored the liquid. It was absolutely perfect. It was only faintly flavored, so it was completely refreshing and tasty, basically exactly the right drink to sip on in paradise.
As soon as this hit my lips the flavor brought me right back to my vacation. It tastes exactly the same, except a little sweeter. This is what I want from a flavored water. Too many companies go overboard with their flavor and it looses the water aspect. There is no doubt with this that it is water first and flavor second. I appreciate that. Now I'm going to close my eyes and pretend I'm surfing again.
- Country
- Canada
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Fructose
- Categories
- Water
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 8/31/2011