This could not be a more disgusting drink. I mean it. This is hardly drinkable. I took one sip and essentially signed off on the whole thing. I love aloe. This has so much chunk in it that you think that you're drinking something else. It's downright thick. Second, it's got coconut water in it which I am not the largest fan of, but I thought that since it's got fruits in there, both prefixed with "mango" ironically, it might be alright. Nope. It stood out like a sore thumb. I can taste the fruit but it's so masked by chunks and coconut that you'd be better off just not adding flavor, or more flavor. This drink is a Frankenstein of all things bad and no, I'm not using that phrase because it's a week away from Halloween.

M.A.S.H. was there ever a television show that was more boring, with a more depressing television show. When I was young it would bum me out so much when I'd be watching cartoons or Three's Company (one of the best shows ever) and they would end and that stupid song would start. Bummer City, Vietnam should have been the name of the show. Now that I'm older maybe I would enjoy the show a bit, but I think my past prejudices would hold up.

Maybe the actors would liven up more if the US Army would have packed their provisions with MASH drink. I didn't know what to expect with this when I bought it. I certainly did not expect it to be carbonated. It says on the bottle "A water drink," but just by seeing it I was calling their bluff. My best guess would have been an extremely intense Vitamin Water type drink. It turns out it was a lot like an Italian soda. It was sharply carbonated and tasted exactly like a mix of mango and blood orange. It was one of the best surprises I've had in awhile in the beverage world. I drank it while I was walking around Columbus, OH and I stumbled across a creepy tunnel that I circumnavigated. (Can you do that if it's not a globe?) I took sips periodically, and by the time I finished it the carbonation was gone and it was flat. Even flat it was still good. At that point it tasted like I originally expected it to; Vitamin Water.

The moral of this story is that instead of watching stupid reruns of M.A.S.H. you should go outside and explore creepy tunnels where you will find nice cats and then stumble upon a hobo encampment.

My first experience with Jolt, like most people, happened when I was a kid. I had heard a lot about Jolt for years. This was a time before energy drinks so the tales of the pop with so much caffeine it makes you jittery would be passed around all the time. I finally came across a bottle at a corner store after school one day when I was 12. I was so excited to find it, but to my dismay it was flat. The store must have had it in the cooler for ages because it tasted like someone opened it up and let it sit for 3 days. It lacked even a single bubble of carbonation. For this reason, I never sought out Jolt again. I was so disappointed by my first experience it killed all the years of anticipation for this soda.

Skip to present day and I come across this bottle. Seeing as I now am more opened minded than I was in my adolescence, I decided to give Jolt another try. Verdict: it's a pretty basic cola, nothing much to it as far as flavor goes. It definitely does have more caffeine than a normal bottle of pop. I'd liken it more to a cup of coffee. In the present world of energy drinks, this is child's play.

How many times have you spent your lunch hour alone in an near abandoned city mall, eating a bag of black licorice jelly beans, slowly burning up your taste buds? If you say more than nonce, then I have the perfect product for you. Rocket Fizz black licorice pop. Now, you no longer have to look like that strange kid in school that eats black jellybeans. You never understood them and they never understood you anyhow. If you like the taste of black licorice, then you know the way to succeed, otherwise, you know the way to suck eggs. Now, whenever your desire for more than ten but less than twenty ounces of pure, unfiltered, ungelatinous, pleasure arises, you know where to go.

For those of you that think that only crazy people enjoy the taste of black licorice, Dillinger Escape Plan wrote a song called Black Bubblegum and no research and full assumption points to the truth that a product such as that would taste like black licorice. Skinny Puppy's Too Dark Park was written not only about crazy Canadian animal rights, but titled after the place with Ogre and cEvin Key used to go to avoid adolescent persecution and eat jellybeans which were “too dark” for the rest of the kids.

How does it taste? Well friends, I'll tell you. The smell is as familiar as the darkest Halloween night and the taste is much like that, but lighter. More of an early morning, November 1st taste. Now that you know it exists, I would expect it to fly off the shelves. It's the perfect drink from at any time from last fall to early spring. The perfect time to quench your darkest, most depressed thirst.

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We originally reviewed this for a Halloween drink article we did for Auxiliary Magazine. To read the full article and to check out the awesome magazine go to
auxiliarymagazine.com.

So wait, you're telling me that Wolfgang Puck doesn't look like Mr. Food dressed up as a werewolf? You sir, have just blown my mind grapes. I have known the name for years, but have never seen a picture of the man, the chef, the legend. In my mind that is exactly what we looked like. For no other reason than I never really gave it much thought, and that's the first image to pop into my head. What I do know for sure is that he is a world-renowned chef and has some cookbooks and restaurants. Today I learned that he's tried his hand at coffee drinks.

I've never tried his cooking, or any of his other products, but if this is any indication it's going to be damn good. The blend of espresso and chocolate is nearly perfect. It's just a tad heavy on the coffee side, which is really how it should be. The chocolate used seems to be of a much higher quality than most mocha drinks as well. It says that it's Viennese chocolate, which I would now really like to try in bar form. I bet this would be completely incredible hot as well. Go Puck!

You know Max, right? He's been a real jerk lately. Let's pull a prank on him. Yeah, he has been a jerk, Charlie. He put all those thumbtacks on your chair last week. Who does that? Hasn't he heard of tetanus? I don't want that. We've got to get back at him, but with what? Oh, I've got it. Go grab that tea over there, I've got a great idea. There isn't enough to fill this bottle. This prank is going to rule. Now, take those Fritos, crush them up and put them in this washcloth. I'll show you. I've got this water. I'm going to pour water on the corn chips to kind of give the tea an "essence" of corn chip but with none of the grit so he can't tell. Oh man, it smells like corn chips but you'd never know what we did just by looking at it. Quick, put one pinch of sugar in there so it keeps him coming back.

This will teach him. He'll never play another practical joke on us again.

So let me get this straight, this is an ALMOST diet Dr. Pepper? Sure I'll give it a try! Hmmm, it's much lighter than the regular variety, but doesn't have the gross taste the diet version has. I don't normally care for Dr. Pepper (or it's many brothers and sisters), but this isn't that bad. In addition to tasting lighter, it also has less of the traditional bite this classic beverage is known for.

The most interesting thing to me about this is that high fructose corn syrup is the main sweetener, but there is also aspartame in it. Since it's a little further down the list, I'm assuming there's less in there and the corn syrup helps mask its usual gross taste. Good work chemists at Dr. Pepper! I'm going to put this right with the Dublin variety, still not amazing but better than the original.

Mark, we have a problem. Friday night I was in a rush to get out of here and I didn't exactly close the door to the giant fridge all the way, and by all the way I mean at all. It was wide open all weekend. As a result almost everything has spoiled. I know it shouldn't have spoiled so quickly but I also left the heat up on high. Don't look at me like that. It was freezing in here, and I was soaking wet because you had me wash down all the produce in advance for some reason. That's right I'm blaming you Mark. If you wouldn't have tried to get ahead of the game, none of this would have happened. Due to that fact that we have just decided that you are to blame, I need you to go down to the grocery store and buy all the baby food they have. We'll whip that down and thin it out a bit. Our mangoes somehow made it through the weekend so we'll mix them with baby food. Can't you just see the new flavor "Mango Veggie."

This really does taste and have the consistency of thinned out baby food. Don't let that deter you though because it actually tastes great. It's initially sweet and fruity due to the mango and apple puree, but then it fades out into a subtle veggie flavor. You can make out the corn, carrots and chickpeas. It seems really strange, but I do like it. Don't be scared off. Give it a try. Mark needs all of your help since I blamed this all on him. If this shipment doesn't sell, he will surely be back at the unemployment line, and by that I mean watching talk shows on his couch all day. He doesn't deserve a vacation like that. It's up to you to stop him from enjoying life.

In an attempt to appease me with my request for non-colored drinks, Bot has come out with this concord grape water that isn't at all purple. That's a good way to differentiate between a cherry, lemon, grape, chocolate drink; just change the labels.

In all honesty, this drink came out way before I mentioned that novel idea to save companies money and save people's tongues from becoming blue when they drank/ate anything blue raspberry.

If you've never had Bot water, it's good, low calorie, and pretty flavorful. This grape is no different. No, it's not as good as that Blue Plum one I had a while back, but it's good. It does taste like concord grape, but I would say smells more like it than it tastes. They're all about light flavoring and optimum refreshment so this drink is right on par with their little schtick that they're running with. Water that tastes like concord grapes. You want it? Here it is.

This morning I had to go to the DMV. As I type this, I can already hear your groans. It has been several years since I've been to the DMV and stand up comedians and movies have ingrained in my head that the DMV is never a pleasant experience. Let me be the first (at least on this website) to say that I had a quick and easy series of transactions there today. I waited a total of 5 minutes, plus all my documents and paperwork were in order and acceptable. 20 minutes in and out and I now am the proud owner of an enhanced ID (which allows me to enter Canada).

Now I'm not going to give this energy shot all the credit for making my trip a success. I stayed up until 2am making sure my application was filled out correctly and I had all the necessary forms of identification needed to prove that I do indeed exist and that I reside in New York State. But when I woke up at 7:15am, which is about 5 hours before I normally get out of bed, I definitely needed something to keep my eyes open. Since there was no coffee shop between my house and the bus stop, I grabbed this before I walked out into the chilly morning air.

It obviously didn't warm me up the way a nice cup of coffee would have, but at least it tasted good. You know those little cans of mandarin oranges that are swimming in syrup? That's what this tasted like, but without the heavy syrup. It definitely kept me awake as well until I got downtown and could procure a cup of coffee. Not the strongest energy shot, but at least it tastes good.

I was going to write a witty post involving Ghostbusters and tie it into the drink because Azul is very close to Zuul. But then two things happened: 1. I got really tired and 2. This drink wasn't that good. This is a shame because the other Tropical Azul drinks we've had so far by Cintron have been delicious, as have their energy shots. Unfortunately not this one. It's pretty bad when a drink looks like mouthwash and after you drink it, you wish it would have tasted more like mouthwash because then it would have tasted better. It did give me energy so I'll give it that much. Sorry Cintron, I guess you can't win them all!

Here in Buffalo, we have an event called "Italian Festival." One street, one week, everyone is Italian. Like St. Patrick's day where "everyone is Irish" type thing. The air is filled with the smell of onions and sausage and every other stand sells "Buffalo's Best Cannoli" which is probably a made up term since, and I could be wrong, there is no committee of people going around, charting and graphing the stats behind one city's cannoli.

Since I don't care about anything, including the festival I actually went to, I went to an Indian bodega to see if they had any strange or different drinks. I left with this drink, which isn't from India at all, but from Turkey. Whatever. Who cares, right?

It took me about three months to actually open this carton but when I saw "rosehip nectar", I had to spring into action and slap $2 down and buy it. I've got a pretty good track record when it comes to nectar and although some aren't my favorite, I understand and appreciate their role in the juice family.

This was thin as far as nectars go. I'm not too familiar with the rosehip, but I am familiar enough with nectars to expect more seeds and/or less viscosity. This was seedless and free to flow. I especially noticed how thin it was when my girlfriend cleaned the house and dropped my glass with it inside and I got a very close and intimate inspection of it running under the couch. It was a light flavor that was different that any fruit I have had, but if I had to say it was like anything, I might say that it is half cherry, half watered down and bitterless cranberry juice. It was good and I don't know why they don't make more drinks here the these United States using the...whatever rosehip is.

That little Sobe lizard has gone a long way. When they first popped up in the mid to late 90's I was a fan, but I never expected them to stay around very long. I worked in a grocery store and one of my jobs was to return items that people decided they didn't want, or returned to the shelves. The number of bottles of Sobe that I had to put back was a bit ridiculous. The number of Sobe bottles that I took into the back room and drank instead of putting them back on the shelves likes I was supposed to was also pretty ridiculous. On a similar note, one day I took a bottle of each kind of BBQ sauce we carried and took them to my secret area of the back room (where I knew there were no cameras) and tried them all to discover what brand it was that a local taco chain used on a limited burrito they had. Sadly it was none of the 20+ I tried and the possibly slow kid that took my money in exchange for tacos refused to tell me. I should probably find him and throw a water balloon full of BBQ sauce at him.

Now that I have been thoroughly sidetracked by my looting and burrito intake, back to the point. No one seemed to want Sobe. I loved it. It was a quasi energy drink / Gatorade. Since then they have tweaked their flavors and gone off into other worlds of beverages. With their Lifewater line I believe they have something that the masses will enjoy. It of course is in the vein of other vitamin enhanced water/sports drinks out there, but it has a bit more flavor. The more flavor it has the further it gets away from being a "water" drink in my eyes, but who am I to complain? Oh yeah, I am a professional drinkologist.

The orange tangerine flavor we have here unsurprisingly reminds me of Tang. This may be the future of space drinks. It's chock full of vitamins and minerals that every astronaut needs in his or her daily space life. I'd also like to point out that they did a good job of lowering the sugar, without compromising flavor by cutting it with erythritol. Now we just need a proper space BBQ shop and I can get a job on a space station and then loot it.

Last night I saw Pleasure Leftists and they were incredible. Even as I type the word incredible, it seems like an understatement. They were easily one of the best bands I've seen live in the past 6 months, and I go to a lot of shows.

My housemate Brandon did the show so naturally the band stayed here last night. I had been up since 9am playing host to my friend Shira who was in town from DC, so by the time I got home at midnight, I was exhausted. I would have loved to have hung out with my friends and the band but I didn't have it in me. Even though I was already tired, I knew the sound of the stereo downstairs might still keep me awake so I opted to grab this from the fridge to be sure I could fall asleep.

While not as strong as Marley's Mellow Mood, this definitely did the trick. Two or three episodes of The Big Bang Theory and I was asleep. It tasted good too which is always a good thing. It reminded me of a very light grape soda. It had a nice grape flavor to it, but very light carbonation. It allowed me to sleep through a party in my house so I think it's pretty awesome.

I needed this drink like some might need a beer. I had a baby keeping me up all night with some undiscovered thing, then a dog that sucks to no end barking and waking him up, and to cap it all off, I was doing a killer job carving a pumpkin and then more crying. Not everyone's best work, I've got to say.

I saw this, threw it in the fridge, for I knew that sometime soon, like two hours later, I was going to desire it to no end. Two hours later, as anticipated, I desired her like one would a new video game, toy, car, and so on and so forth.

It was worth the two-hour wait, too. It's crisp, has a strong birch taste, but isn't dark and complex like a lot of root/birch/sarsaparillas. It's got a good bite and the colder the better. I've been milking this bottle for a half hour to forty-five minutes and I've noticed it's gotten a little drab, but it's still good.

Jay got this in Canada, which is good because it's made in Massachusetts and that means it's available outside of the little town it looks like it's from.

Being a werewolf isn't all that it's cracked up to be. You know how in movies and books people only change in to the beast on nights of the full moon, well that's a load of crap. You're a wolf all year around. The only thing different about the full moon is that you have an undying craving for banana peanut butter sandwiches. Let me tell you those things are gross any other time, but as soon as that moon is shining down, it's all you can think about.

So yeah, I have to live in hiding most of the time. It's annoying and I hate it. I have to order out for food all the time and leave money for the deliveryman so he'll leave the food at the door. I know what you are thinking and yes I do weigh nearly 300lbs from eating pizza and Chinese food every night, not to mention those stupid sandwiches. I don't even want to get in to how I get the money to pay for the food. Let's just say it involves a web cam and a razor. At least Halloween is right around the corner. It's the one time of year that I can go out and interact with people without them freaking out. I usually win some bar tabs for best costume as well. Pretty rad. I also love the candy of Halloween. I'm a fat wolf I've learned to deal with it. The bane (pun intended) of this festive candy is the candy corn. Everyone always has it out and without thinking I always throw a handful in my mouth, where I am reminded that it is gross and just a solid mass of sugar.

This year I saw this at a party and I had to grin and bear it as someone made a joke about me posing for the can. If I actually looked like that I would probably put a silver bullet right through my heart. That is one ugly creature. Well this was put in my hand, so I had to drink it. It really smelled like candy corn, so I was bracing for the worst. When I worked up the courage to take a sip I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it's a cream soda with a little extra something to it. It's 90% cream soda and 10% candy corn. It's a great ratio. It hints at the candy corn without the terrible texture. I wish I could find this throughout the year.

I really need to get out more. My people skills are at an all time low. I've snarled at my fair share of people tonight and I'm starting to get weird looks. I should probably head home soon. I really need to look into moving into a colony of "furries." I bet they wouldn't even notice that I wasn't wearing a costume.

Hello friends!

I am here today to tell you about a beverage I have tried. When you finish reading this, you will know the name of this beverage as well as my opinions on it. I believe this is the contract you have negotiated with the Thirsty Dudes. And, special bonus: there are pictures.

First things first, this is me, Catie (nice to meet you), looking very excited and mysterious about the beverage I have chosen: CAS CAL FERMENTED SODA CRISP WHITE WITH PEAR APRICOT AND MAGNOLIA FLAVORS.

When I began my search for the perfectly reviewable beverage, my criteria were many. I wanted something that I had never tried before, and that had never been reviewed by the Thirsty Dudes. I wanted something that could go either way: be really tasty or really gross. I wanted something that made me feel brave and a little bit crazy, like I was living on the edge. So of course, being the intrepid suburbanite I am, I went to Whole Foods.

After fifteen minutes standing in the individually bottled beverage isle, list of beverages already reviewed in hand, I began to grow disheartened. I honestly do not know how these Dudes are still Thirsty; they have sipped, slurped, and gulped nearly all of the Whole Foods inventory. After almost half an hour of reading cans, however, I found The One.

CasCal Fermented Soda Crisp White With Pear, Apricot, and Magnolia Flavors presented the perfect challenge. Apricots and pears are delicious; fermentation is not; magnolia is just weird. It is caffeine free, non-alcoholic, and has no added sugar. It is created through "the magic of fermentation" and self-described as "an alchemy of flavor." It should be tried with fresh salads or robust cheeses (but never both at the same time, I imagine).

Please join me as I take this journey.



CasCal Fermented Soda Crisp White With Pear, Apricot, and Magnolia Flavors: it's actually pretty good! It is tangy, mild, and just the right amount of sweet. The apricot and pear flavors are very crisp and bright. Overall, I'd say it's very "drinkable." The one thing I don't know about is the so-called magnolia flavor. I have admittedly never tasted an actual magnolia tree, but there was nothing in the soda that tasted how I would imagine. I'm pretty the whole "magnolia" thing is an elaborate lie.

Now, before trying Crisp White I was careful not to read the Thirsty Dudes' reviews on its CasCal Fermented Soda cousins; after all, I wanted to be fair. After taking a few notes, however, I went back and read them. I was surprised to see so much animosity toward the fermentation aspect of the soda. I honestly didn't taste anything that I would identify as fermented, and certainly no hint of an alcoholic taste. It's entirely possible, however, that I (being prone to partake in the occasional adult beverage) am desensitized to such flavors.

TO SUMMARIZE: I am Catie, I drank CasCal Fermented Soda Crisp White With Pear, Apricot, and Magnolia Flavors, and I give it three bottles.

When I bought this I had no idea what The Amazing Race was. I was then informed that it was some sort of reality television show. I need not know more to know that I was certainly not interested. I don't know the premise, and I don't really want to know. I will just assume that it is a giant race where teams have to go around the world and harvest ingredients to make special and unique teas. In the past some of the entrees were haggis-pickled avocado, tripe-kale, and calamari-poutine. Needless to say none of those were winners. The contestants were actually publicly ridiculed and a series of brutal pranks were played on them and their love ones for another spin off reality show "So You Suck at Making Iced Tea."

Apparently the winner of last season was India. I don't know if it was the entire country of India, or if it was someone's name. I can only assume the entire country of India brainstormed and came up with this wonderful tea. It's a dark sweet tea (nearly too sweet). It's like a classic mango tea with some exotic fruit and spices (there aren't any added, but it tastes subtly like their is). For a limited time specialty tea this is pretty incredible. Snapple has stepped up their game from the 90's in a big way.

I just left for tour a couple of days ago and our drummer has some sort of disease brewing in his throat. That along with the fact that it's finally starting to get cold and it's rainy and damp has led to all of us feeling like crap. I've been eating healthy and drinking a bunch of juice to make sure that I don't end up being completely sick and miserable (well at least not until after tour).

I found this in a health food store in MI. Passion fruit and wheat grass are two things that I really enjoy, so when I saw this it was a no-brainer. I always expected wheat grass to taste gross and like grass, but when I finally tried it it's actually kind of sweet and only slightly tastes like lawn clippings. Passion fruit on the other hand completely lives up to it's name and is one of the most delectable of off the fruits on this planet.

It smells like sludge, like health sludge to be exact. It turns out it kind of tastes that way too. It has the general flavor of something that just has to be good for you. It's like a variety of healthy things from a health food store were all mixed together in a green-brown swamp of fruity vitamins and minerals. The flavors all kind of blend together into a sweet fruity mess. Sometimes it tastes like passion fruit and others pineapple comes out to play. It doesn't taste like I wanted it to, but it tastes good enough and I'm sure it's going to help with my health.

This review is a big stepping-stone for me. Until now, I have not reviewed any unsweetened iced tea. This has been by choice because until recently I hated any iced tea that wasn't loaded with sugar. The turning point was when Jay and I were on a road trip this summer and he freaked out when he found a lot of this jasmine tea for $1 each at a Big Lots. It was a really hot summer day so he opened one in the car and offered me some. I quickly understood what the fuss was all about. It was delicious.

Then a couple months later I realized, I had been looking at unsweetened iced tea completely wrong. I kept thinking it would have as much flavor as sweetened iced tea but obviously it won't due to the lack of sugar. Knowing this has allowed me to enjoy iced tea that is better for me now.

Since I'm new to the unsweetened iced tea world, you'll have to forgive my ignorance with this review. I was expecting this to have a stronger mint flavor than it does. I thought it was going to be like a mouthful of breath mints, but it's more of a mint aftertaste. Green tea isn't my favorite, but this is good and light. I could see this being really refreshing on a hot day, so I probably shouldn't have waited until it was 48 degrees in Buffalo to drink this.