The packaging makes this drink look like it's going to be ice cold. Like when mints have that weird coldness to it. I didn't expect it to be minty, but I hoped it would have the same freezing effect. It ended up just tasting like a regular diet energy drink. When Dan first opened it and took a sip he said it was pretty gross. I expected the worst, but it tasted fairly average to me. Underneath all of that chemical energy it took a second for my taste buds to register that it was even diet.

In the end this is one of the best diet energy drinks that I've tried. With no sugar or calories it's also probably one of the "healthiest" I've ever had as well. To be fair neither of those are really that crazy of achievements.

Cider season is here and it's great. I'm a weird person because I don't eat apples and I don't like apple juice, but I LOVE apple cider. I'm currently visiting some friends in Bloomington, Indiana and came across this at a local co-op. I like normal cider, but any cider with ginger in it is my favorite.

This is my first cider of the year and it was a good way to kick it off. It's naturally sweetened which is perfect because sometimes cider has way too much sugar in it. I don't think the ginger is strong enough, but I love ginger. For me, a good ginger drink is one that is painful to consume and hurts your stomach for a while. This would be a good ginger cider for someone who likes the taste of ginger but thinks most ginger is too intense. Mild is the word I was looking for. It has a very mild ginger taste.

What can I get you sir? A Dr. Pepper? Wise choice. Let me just go over here to the fountain, press this medium, responsible sized cup to the lever and...hmm. That's odd. Let's do it again because anyone who has worked a fountain drink machine knows that the drinks are lighter coming out of the spout than they are in the cups that we drink them out of. Round two, here we go. Nope, clear. Sir? Pardon me, sir? How are you feeling today? Daring? You are?! Sir, I like you. Let's do something here. What have I got? I've got this soda water. Check. I've got limes. Limes are good, right? You're not allergic to limes, are you, sir? Good. The only other thing I have is this spearmint gum. I'll put it in this separate plastic cup of water, mush it up, and pour it into your drink. Deal? Wicked. Let's do this right now.

What do you think? It's cold, right? You can't taste the lime? Eh, can't win 'em all. You can taste the mint, though? Yes. Good. It's a bit bitter because it's just soda water and there is no sugar or anything because, as we discussed, there is almost nothing behind this counter. On a scale from one to five, what would you give it? A three. You've got it sir. Also, because you're so adventurous, that drink is on the house.

Wilson Farms is the local convenience store chain in the Buffalo area. They are so prevalent that it sometimes seems like they are on every corner. Like most corner stores, they have lots of things you could get at a grocery store but they charge more for the "convenience". The only exception to this is that they have their own line of soda.

At 99 cents a 2-liter, it's a much better deal than Coke or Pepsi. But like most things, you get what you pay for. It's a really bland diet cola with more of a aspartame taste than others. Some people might think it tastes "close enough" to Diet Coke, but I'll pass on this in favor of the top shelf stuff from now on.

When you're a kid and it's Easter time jellybeans take a backseat only to Peeps (yes I am one of those strange people that prefers stale Peeps). As you get older jellybeans lose their allure. In fact they become just a step above gross. Then you discover a little company called Jelly Belly and your interest in jellybeans is renewed. Best of all they are available all year and they are "gourmet."

When I first saw Jelly Belly sodas I thought to myself "Self that sure sounds gross, over sugary candy pop is not something we are fans of." I got some for the site though for the sake of the website. When I finally got around to drinking it I discovered that they can do the same for sugary fake fruit sodas as they did for sugary fake fruit candy. Is it sweet? You bet your butt it is, but more importantly it tastes like strawberries. This actually tastes just like a real sweet strawberry jam. I certainly can't complain about a pop that delivers exactly what it promises, and neither should you.

Someday Midge will see how much I love her and she'll come runnin' to old Moe. Sure I own a crap hole of a bar and I more than occasionally delve into some less than legal monetary pursuits (what was I thinking keeping a whale in the back of the bar?) but I've sure as hell put the time into winning her over. It's exhausting really. For the past 22 seasons I've been following her and Homer all around this god-forsaken planet just to be close to her. Oh Midge if you only knew the time and effort I put in each week following and watching you for all these years. Sneaking into the luggage compartments on planes, hiding in the flora of the restaurants they eat in, and a whole lot of creeping around watching through windows.

In the early days in order to keep up steam I had to rely on some classic meth that I would get from Cletus, but after what it did to my skin, and with my teeth falling out and whatnot I knew I needed to stop. Lucky for me Duff released an energy drink. I can tell you it's sure a hell of a lot better than that swill ale those low life drunks at my bar gulp down all day. It tastes like a classic energy drink with a nice citrus twist. Sure they use high fructose corn syrup, and I swore I was going to cut that down so I could get in shape for my love, but really what can you expect from such a low rent company as Duff. At least it keeps me up for my late night sessions of watching Midge sleep. That is when Homer's fat whale of a body isn't blocking my vision. Speaking of which it's about time for me to be climbing that old tree. Someday she will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.

Sometimes drinks speak to me. No, not in a crazy way. Sometimes I see a drink and I just have to have it. This, for some reason, I had to have. I grabbed it, threw it on my shelf only to completely forget about it for about two weeks. Today, while picking my drinks for the day, I came across it and thought, "Oh yeah. I really wanted this." so in the bag and to work it went.

On first sip, it was very Stevia-esque. On second sip, I could start tasting what was supposed to be happening. Are you a graphic designer? Sure you are. Everyone and their brother is a graphic designer. As soon as you touch MS Paint (or Mac equivalent) and design your first birthday card, you say to yourself, "This is all a graphic designer does? Well, looks like I am going to design my album art for my band The Death Of A Thousand Suns Birthday." This drink is a gradient if I've ever tasted one. It does start out very Stevia, but then it slowly fades into a passion fruit that is actually quite nice. The green tea doesn't really come out to play for me.

I'm interested to see what else Honest does in this "zero calorie" line. I like a range of their drinks and am always game to try new ones.

Hey Frankie, I thought I told you to pick me up an energy drink? This thing don't taste like no energy drink I ever had. It taste like a more juicy soda pop. You know with like fruit and junk in it. What do you mean does it have taurine in it? What am I some kind of ingredientologist? Fine I'll read the stupid can. Yeah it's got that "t" stuff in it. Sounds like something to do with a bull. Is that what gives Red Bull it's kick? Wait this isn't bull testicles is it? If it is and this is some kind of joke I'm going to box your ears. Okay, okay I believe you. This stuff still doesn't taste like an energy drink though. It tastes like a fancy orange juice with bubbles in it. Tangerines you say? Well ooolala Mr. Fancy Pants Frenchman. Now shut your mouth and help me rip up this carpet.

Nothing says fitness like chocolate fudge. You know that you like to work on your abs for about forty minutes and then head on down to the local chocolatier and ask for a pound of fudge to make everything go to its intended place. I read in a book once that if you do squats in the gym and then eat a quarter pound of rocky road fudge, it does more than eating one dozen chickens. Whole chickens. Feathers, feet, and all. Just a quarter pound of it. Scientists don't agree because they think that a couple hundred scientific tests prove otherwise.

Myoplex, a group of half scientists, half chocolate enthusiasts, half R.C. enthusiasts, have fix this age old question by making a protein drink that tastes like chocolate fudge. Sure, it's a little chalky and tastes diet, but it tastes like diet, chalky, chocolate fudge. You're on a diet. You're working out like crazy. All you've eaten the last few months have been bean sprouts and broccoli and now, for an unlimited time, you can finally re-taste the smooth, elegant taste of chocolate without any of the hassle of guilt.

I like eating fresh lychee fruit. Sure it might have a consistency that I can only liken to an eyeball, but it tastes pretty awesome. Something horrible happens when that fruit is transformed into drink form. It somehow starts to taste the was I can only assume an old lady would. Like a perfume from the 1940s. That would be the opposite of awesome.

I've had this sitting around for probably six months. Because the can was white I thought it was diet (all diet pops from my youth were in white cans). That and my fear of lychee drinks put it on the back burner. Tonight I decided to suck it up and for my bravery I was rewarded. President's Choice did something right with this drink. They have kept the flavor of the fruit intact without bringing out the perfumey aspect of it. It's a very light beverage that I would be happy to drink again. Thanks Canada.

If I am not mistaken this drink is all about me. Finally a drink for the egotistical and self centered geniuses of the world. I think it takes on a different flavor to suit whoever is drinking its taste buds. I have to say they had it dead on for me. Tangerine and pineapple are a way to my heart. They were on the road to perfection but then the creators got sidetracked and added erythritol as a third sweetener. Ugh. They have instantly turned my brain and me as a whole off. Had they left out that one tiny ingredient, that doesn't seem to play much of a role other than being gross, this would have been great. A buy and buy again beverage. As it stands it can sit dusty on the shelves.

On the turn of a dime, it has become fall. Autumn to some, fall to others. I've been wearing a hoodie for a couple days and although I missed their deep hood, welcoming pockets, and going outside, throwing up my hood immediately, and feeling like a robber or rapist. Try it. I would never rape or never rob, but I just feel like if someone saw me throw my hood up, they would think I am up to no good.

Fall means cider. Apples in any form, really. On my way to visit my parents, I stopped by Tim Hortons and I wanted a mint chocolate, iced cappuccino, but was convinced to try a hot caramel apple cider. I got it because seriously, how can you go wrong? Apple cider and caramel and the added delicacy of whipped cream on top. Sweet. Half an hour later, I open up the cup and prepare my senses to enjoy pleasure to a parental advisory level. Then... Disappointment. To the fullest extent. It tasted like I was drinking a liquid candle. I am not exaggerating. If you went to Yankee Candle or equivalent, bought an apple cider candle, went out into the food court, lit it with a borrowed lighter because you just quit smoking, and drank the wax, you, my friend, have just drank a Tim Hortons hot apple cider with caramel.

I have easily half left and cannot stomach another sip.

I have to drink more water. It's a fact. You might need to, also. I'm looking out for your health. It's good for you. Drink more water.

Now that me educating you on the basics are done and out of the way, we can get to the nitty gritty. Side fact: if all water tasted like sweet tea, had no calories, and was as plentiful as water, there would be no war, no crime, no funny business. Everyone would just be high-fiving everyone, kissing everyone on the cheek like some fancy European country.

This Mio isn't half bad. I drank a large and a half glass last night and was pleasantly surprised. It was slightly diet, but it's a diet drink. I don't want that to dissuade you. It's not gross. It is closer than many sweet teas I've drank that aren't diet, aren't concentrate, and come highly recommend.

Think of it as a diet sweet tea. It's a getting a thumbs up from me.

People just don't understand what a hard life us members of Slytherin have. Wake up. Pray to the snake. Eat breakfast. Pray to the snake. Mock a Weasely for being a ginger. Pray to the snake. Go to class. Pray to the snake. Make fun of a Weasely for being poor. Pray to the snake. Study for potions. Pray to the snake. Plot against Harry Potter. Pray to the snake. Do the dark lords bidding. Pray to the snake.

That damn snake gets more praise than Odin ever did in his prime. On top of that we have to deal with all of the filthy mudbloods that started letting into the school. Ugh. Those disgusting creatures have no business learning magic. When will He Who Will Not Be Named come back and go all fourth reich on their unworthy keisters?

This is the only time of day that I get to relax. The snake has been appeased and I can sneak off to Hogsmeade and pop into The Three Broomsticks and get myself a nice cold one, loosen my robes and just spend some time on myself. They don't let the underclassman in here so it's nice and quiet. Also because they can't come here they all think that the sought after Butter Beer is alcoholic. They sure took a turn into Wrongville. There's nothing alcoholic about it. It's just a nice tasty cream soda that has been flavored with butterscotch. The combination hits you in some nice waves. First it's all nice and vanilla creamy. Then you swallow and the butterscotch tastes over as a nice mild aftertaste. To tell the truth before I tried one of these I was against butterscotch. It seemed unnatural as a flavor. Something mudbloods would eat as dessert. You still won't find me eating that trash, but I will enjoy one of these sodas whenever I get a chance. Oh great it's almost time to praise the snake again. I should get back to our common room.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I'm extremely jealous of young kids these days for their juice box options. When I was a kid our choices were Ssips, Hi-C and Minute Maid. I never complained. I loved what I had at the time, but now that I see what the world has to offer I feel cheated. Maybe it's because I grew up in white-bred suburbia, but I keep running into exotic juice boxes these days. What kid wouldn't love a mango juice box? It's so sweet and thick. Think of the awesome treats it could bring in through lunchroom trades. When you've finished remember to unglue the flaps, blow it up with air and stomp on it so it explodes and the straw shoots across the room. That is the true joy of the juice box.

This is quasi-gross. That's enough to punish this drink in my eyes for eternity, but I really did want to like it. I picked it up on a whim, thought to myself, "I'd like to encounter a berry breeze. This will do it for me. Great. Cash me out." It's a giant bottle and I wanted to slay the whole thing. First sip and there it was. That diet burn. What is that? I hate it. I will say there are omega-3's in here. Great. People are only going to drink it if it tastes good. If you and your dumb throat and dumber taste buds have accepted that this is the way that a standard diet drink should taste, you, my dumb friend, have a new favorite drink.

If I could get past the stingin' and the burnin', I would say that the taste is alright. Taste gets a three out of five. It smells a little odd, like an apple but like an uncut or unchomped apple. I found that weird but it's good that they could somehow disguise the fish oil scent, which is rank, not to be confused by the Smiths live album by the same name. Morrissey, if you're listening, don't waste your time with this drink.

Hey Jay, I just got a postcard in the mail. Let me read it to you. It's from the Dorothy Molter. Dorothy Molter? She's a lady who made root beer and sold it to people on canoes but she's from Chicago and I think she actually has ties to the mob. Listen to this letter.

Alright, I still don't see our review. I do have "people" around the nation. Remember, Dorothy was from Chicago and still has "connections". Technically you don't need all your fingers to drink a root beer but why risk it?

Is she serious? Is this a hit? No, hits are murder. This is more like I owe them money for not paying up on a 1995 Buffalo Bills game that I somehow skipped out on paying for the sixteen years. Still, I don't want to mess with the mob. I've seen the Godfather and I don't want to get to perforated by multiple gunmen. Did I drink the root beer? Yes, I did. I thought it was good. I think that she would have used cane sugar, but you can't really taste that it isn't. It's dark but not that licorice-filled darkness that many small brews are. It's well sweetened and well flavored. All around, a good root beer.

I can't believe that she threatened us. Also, now that I think about it, I can't believe that she did it on a postcard. Also, this postcard has a corgi licking a kitten and that's not threatening at all. Maybe she meant to catch us off guard. Did someone just knock at the door? Do you think it's her? I hope not. I like my hands and I enjoy the presence of all my fingers. Who makes root beer and is in the mob? It just doesn't add up. She must have a secret life where she's like a root beer soaked Mother Theresa and then another one where she drives an old gangster style Ford, wears pinstriped all the time, always has a cigar in her mouth, and says "see" all the time. "I'm the root beer lady, see." Like that. It could happen. Stranger things have happened. Don't get the door. She can leave another note if it's Dorothy. I need my hands for playing Trials Evolution when it comes out.

It's a little known fact, but this beverage actually inspired the Ted Nugent song "Wango Tango." You may say, "but Thirsty Dudes the timeline is way off. "Wango Tango" was released in 1980, Robs is a fairly new company." That may be true my friends, but the mango drink was actually created by Rob's mother, it is the drink that made Rob want to create drinks of his own. His mother also had a tryst with Senior Nugent back in the late 70's. Theodore was obsessed with this sweet treat of hers and she made a jug of it for him every time he went out bow hunting. Momma Rob was also very concerned with being "green" and the environment, so she would only eat meat that Teddy hunted. She's the one who always said, "You gotta kill 'em to grill 'em." She taught the Nug oh so much about life.

After she broke off the brief relationship Ted tried to win her back by writing "Mango Tango" for her (the producer made him change the name due to the unpopularity of the fruit in the late 70's). Her response was that he could have her again, but only if the song about her and her nicely thinned out mango juice (it really was a precursor to the flavor/consistency of Vitamin Water) made it into the Billboard Top 10. Unfortunately it only got to number 86, and they were never to meet again. The only question there is left to answer is "Could Ted Nugent actually be Rob's biological father?" Come back never round of flavors to find out!

As ambassador for the island of Pineapple Pokopo I would like to assure you that I am as much as a professional as you can get on the subject of pineapples. I have had them prepared every way possible. I've had them sliced, diced, baked, fried, fire roasted, shoved inside of various mammals and fish. You have not lived until you've had pineapple stuffed dolphin. My mansion is actually built 100% out of pineapple. You wouldn't believe how strong that fruit can get when it's compressed enough and then shellacked.

I tell you all of this because on my vacation to Toronto you had the audacity to serve me this soda?!?! This is not my beloved pineapple! I bet that the ingredients in the bottle have never even been in the same fruit with any fruit, let alone one as pure as mine. I demand you change the name of this immediately! What's that you will call it "ananas?" Is that some sort of banana? Oh it's French for pineapple. I can deal with that. I've never met a Frenchman, so I assume I'll never run into anyone who knows that information.

Now that it has a new name this is actually pretty good. It has a nice citrus flavor, like it's some candied fruit. It doesn't taste like actually pineapple as I have mentioned in my rant, but there is something similar there. It's better than an orange or lemon soda. I will tell you that for free. That's right the cost of that knowledge will not come out of your tip. Now bring me another bottle, and a fresh napkin. I must clean off my pineapple monocle. Did you not notice that it was just a cored slice of pineapple with a lens shoved into it? No wonder you're a waiter and not the ambassador of Pineapple Pokopo.

When the colonials invaded the United States, the Indians, although polite, were leery on "the white man". White men came in, sat down next to each and every Indian, and co-ate a delicious meal with multicolored corn. All was good. They did a little bit of trading. Oh, you've got beaver pelts? We've got these sweet hats. You've got teepees? We've got homes made of brick and mortar. "Let's eat", the Indians say to the Colonials. "Oh, wait. We've got something for you in the boat. Hold on a second." The colonial dudes go into the boat and pull out a case and put it on the table. "What's this?" said the Indian Chief. "Oh, this ol' thing? It's just a case of our favorite pop, Old Colony. If you look, you'll notice that Carl's face is the silhouette on the can. Here, we brought a can for everyone. We're swimming in the stuff so you can have this whole case."

The Indians take a sip and the chief looks and the Colonial man disappointingly. "You call this grape?" He drops the half full can of pop on the grass, allowing it to spill onto the ground. The Admiral Colonial dude was flabbergasted. "Why would you do that? That's not a great first impression, I've got to say." The Indian, very heatedly said, "This is a mediocre grape pop. You think because we're Indians we've never had grape pop? What do you take us for? This is very sweet and although I can tell that it's inspired from concord grapes, it tastes like candy and we don't really do candy here."

Then the Admiral declared war because he's a baby and doesn't like when people insult his favorite pop.