Matt loves going to dance clubs. He loves dancing so much that he weaseled his way into a job as a bar back at his favorite club in town, Blue Monday. Yes, they are so original that they named themselves after New Order's most well known song. They even host "New Order Mondays". It's pretty absurd if you ask me, but the kids seem to like it.

Another interesting thing about Matt is he's straight edge. He gets made fun of a lot for being around alcohol all day long, but he doesn't care. His love for dancing overrides his distaste for alcoholic drinks. Since he's been working at Blue Monday for so long, they started taking his suggestions for non-alcoholic drinks to stock. The owner was pretty loyal to Red Bull for a while, but when Matt told him there was a line of energy drinks called "Blu", he jumped for joy. Literally, he leapt into the air. I wasn't there, but I know the bartender on at the time and he said it was really weird.

A few weeks later they got their first shipment of Blu energy drinks. It was a huge success. The post-ironic crowd the club drew loved the idea of drinking Blu energy drinks, inside of a club called Blue Monday, while the song "Blue Monday" by New Order was playing. Occasionally they'd also play "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65 to mix things up a bit. It was really gross.

Last time I was there was for the opening day of New Order November (don't ask). They were all out of the other flavors of Blu so I tried the sugar free version for the first time. I was expecting it to be gross, but it wasn't that bad at all. It tasted really similar to sugar free Red Bull. I'm glad to see my friend Matt is happy and the club is doing well with their Blu energy drink sales. I just hope someday the owner will realize that irony is dead.

Remember that time when you had an undying need to get a poncho? You thought they were just the coolest and you needed one to live, well at least to live with the kids who ditched class and snuck across the street to smoke cigarettes. It was the early 90's and it was a different world than it is now. It was a world where poncho's, or drug rugs, were a sign of stature.

You begged and pleaded with your mom to take you to get one. She wouldn't give in said that you would look stupid wearing one, especially since you hated the Grateful Dead. So you waited and ended up going with the older kids in your shop class that wore leather jackets, even in the summer. Those guys must be touch. They said they were going to the "head shop" anyways, but you had to pay gas, and ride in the trunk. Whatever, anything for that sweet, sweet poncho. As you walked into the shop, still a bit woozy from the exhaust that spilled in through the holes in the trunk, you were blasted with the smell of hippies and incense. It's a smell that you would become familiar with over the next few years at parties in dimly lit basements.

When you graduated high school you thought, and hoped that smell would never be apart of your life again. It didn't until you cracked open a can of Yeo's green tea. The smell was kind of there, but Christ did it taste the way that head shop smelled. One would think that something like that should never hit your taste buds, but it's actually a little bit of alright. This is supposed to be jasmine green tea, but I've had jasmine tea before and it tastes nothing like this. The only way to describe it is to say it tastes like ill lit basements, black-light posters, and incense. It will also fill you with shame for once owning a drug rug, even if you only wore it twice. Really, what was I thinking?

Grandpa was the king of cookies. Whenever we'd go to visit he had a smorgasbord of confectioneries that he would sneak us when no one was looking. Grandma on the other hand loved her hard candies. Her assortment would change, but there would always be the strawberry candy in the mix. You know the ones whose wrappers are printed to look like the fruit. As soon as I tasted this drink it made me think about those candies. They were never my favorite, of course they couldn't compete with grandpa's cookies, but I never turned one down. I feel the same way about this drink. It's not my favorite aloe drink, but if it was offered to me I would always happily take it. It has average sized aloe chunks in it, which almost come off as bits of berries. It may not be the best, but it's a nice walk down memory lane. Drink one and think of your grandmother.

In the middle ages, times were tough. You had to raise your own fruits and vegetables, people got sick and died from things like a cough, and there weren't any Burger Kings. Not to mention, periodically, you had to be ready and the drop of a hat for a dragon invading your tiny town. On the plus side, you got to use your sword and were encouraged to at any given time. Throw it. Cut up fruit for dinner. Who cares? Every use is one step closer to being able to kill orcs and wild boars. For protein and energy, you have to eat mutton and probably nuts. I doubt that the meats are carefully marinated and are probably pretty bland. That's no good for anyone.

I would like to be the time traveler that brings a case of Bolthouse Farms to these people. I would be treated with so much respect. I am not going to go as far as being knighted, well maybe, but I would at least get a nice jacket or something. Perhaps I can have the local cobbler make me a nice pair of wingtips. That would be real nice of him. I would say to him, "Dear cobbler. I'm going to call you by your name, Mitch, because "cobbler" is your job and that's a jerk move. Mitch, I bequeath to you a case of Hazelnut Latte Bolthouse Farms drink. It tastes like a melted Arby's jamoca shake and is delicious. You don't know who Arby's is? It's a fast food restaurant that specialized in roast beef sandwiches. Roast beef, not roast beast. I don't know. It could be the same thing. Either way, this is delicious and will give you the botulism free energy you need to both make shoes and boots and shoot arrows at rabid animals. It is yours. Enjoy. Yes, they do make other flavors. What, is this not good enough for you? I come one thousand years back in time and you want variety? Mitch. Come on, dude."

Mitch is a good guy, he just doesn't have the manners one would expect from an adult man. He would take the drink, eventually love it, and be chocked full of energy. I wish him the best of luck with his footwear company and am anxiously awaiting my shoes. I told him to bury them in the ground at a specific location in a nice box so that I can dig them up. They'd better fit.

Oh I'm so sweaty from getting my swell on. Four hours of just heavy, free weights does wonders to my deltoids. I don't ride the bikes because that's for girls. I don't use stair climbers because that's for old men. I use free weights and that machine that shakes you together to get the maximum amount of swell to my increasingly bulging biceps.

After two hours, I run out of steam and I need some pump up so that I can pump up. At the smoothie bar, they sell these packets called Phix that the gentleman behind the counter mixes it in a cup with a fancy, long spoon. Slammed. I slammed it, like I do those weights. Slammed. Like Onyx. It went down smooth. It wasn't too strong either. It was a light drink, like a watered down juice. It didn't really taste like an energy drink. It just tasted good with a light fruit taste. I'm used to slamming down energy drinks and protein drinks that are either too sweet, or too thick, or too gross. This is the perfect drink for me to pump iron long into the night, as I do frequently. I have a goal to look like I did in my high school picture and now that I am a hundred pounds heavier. I have to work harder to get rid of those last, pesky fifty pounds. I've got to strive to slip into those Sasoon jeans and Yes T-Shirt like I had in my senior picture. I've got to get back to working on my hammies.

I've been drinking a lot of diet drinks lately. I'm not going to lie, all those empty calories have been going to my waistline lately. While I'm perfectly comfortable with my weight, it wouldn't hurt me to lose a few pounds. Why am I telling you all this? Well it's to say that since I've been drinking more drinks with fake sugar in them, I've gotten used to the taste, which used to repulse me. Sucralose and its friends no longer taste like chemicals to me. Is this a good thing? I don't know.

One aspect where it's a good thing is I am able to judge the taste of a diet drink a little better. I was expecting this to be pretty bland, but I was pleasantly surprised after the first sip. It tasted like a diet version of the original Go Fast Sports energy drink, but there was something else I couldn't put my finger on. I thought maybe they were using stevia as the sweetener, but that wasn't it.

Honey. That is the main sweetener in this. Totally took me by surprise! It works really well too. Now that I know there is honey in this, it makes sense and I can taste it. It's not strong, but it's really nice sweetness in the aftertaste.

It's been said that Goose Island is a part of Chicago, but I think that's just a ruse. I think they want people to believe this magical island is in the boring Midwest when in fact it resides just outside of Buffalo, NY in historic East Aurora. I know because I have seen it. It's chock full of geese and other waterfowl. It's also a perfect place to enjoy a pizza and some root beers with your ladyfriend at the end of a nice day trip.

It was really a no-brainer choosing what root beer to accompany our delicious pizza at such a location. Sure there are brews that I prefer over Goose Island but many of them are full bodied and heavy. Those are drinks for sipping around a fire, contemplating you day. This is a light and smooth soda. It's the kind of flavorful root beer that works well with food and nature. It reminds me of What IBC or Dogs N Suds root beer would taste like if they used cane sugar as a sweetener.

So while Virginia may be for lovers, Goose Island is for root beer and greasy pizza. Watch out because those birds may try to steal your pizza after awhile. Don't let them have it though because bread is bad for waterfowl and can cause their stomachs to explode, and no one wants to have to clean up that mess.

Energy shots are garbage. It's a scientific fact. They are concentrated so they taste like liquid trash. It's up to you to decide if the trade off it worth it. Do you want to chug a big sugary can of something that will make you pee at least twice, or do you want something quick and compact? The cans generally taste better, in their own chemical way, but the shots can be stored in a pocket for anytime use.

Normally the shots and cans are around the same price, but On Go has put out this line of shots that are less than a dollar each. So they are compact and inexpensive. This one also tastes like radioactive raspberries. It's sad that the flavor doesn't put it at a disadvantage against other energy shots. As I said they all taste like neon trash. I can say that this works, possibly too well. I drank it on an all day excursion of bike riding/hiking/beaver watching and pizza eating and I was unable to fall asleep until about 4am. I should have been completely exhausted like my friends, who passed out around midnight, but this little bottle kept me alert, even when I pleaded for it not to.

On a recent trip to Korea, you realize that in Asia, things are different. You had to travel all the way around the world to know that things on the other side of the world are different. You have eaten with chopsticks and all you can think of is that Jerry Seinfeld bit about using shovels and not using chopsticks. You haven't exactly mastered them but you're working on it and that's good enough for you. You have drank fish face juice, cow leg milk, and even chicken sauce which you thought was a drink but was actually a legitimate sauce for chicken and not made from chicken. That one was a mistake. You don't blame anyone but yourself for that blem.

You wander into yet another small shop on a nice Tuesday night and you come across this can. It's in English and at this point, you will drink anything you can read the ingredients for. You pay whatever the equivalent of one American dollar is in Korean currency and head out to walk the streets of the city, maybe pet a horse, maybe eat some meats of sticks, maybe both. You open the can, take a sip, and sigh in relief that there aren't any chunks or eyeballs or cow feet in it. You are later excited because you actually like it. It's a light black tea, sweetened with sugar. Just like mama back home would have made. No funny business in this can. All serious work. Suit and tie stuff. It's good and also has a little citrus taste to it. A nice twist.

For the first time in many moons you are quenched and can go to sleep not dreaming of something drinkable like you had back home. Tomorrow will be another day in Korea and you may or may not drink something gross. If you do, you now know what you can use to wash down your pig knee soup.

Why America is Fat, by Mike Literman of the Thirsty Dudes,

It's no stretch to say that many American's are overweight. We can't go a week without hearing the nightly news talk about how we weigh more than all other countries combined, or something along those lines. That's not true, but you can't go a week without seeing footage of obese, neck down citizens. Why does this happen? Well it's actually very simple. American's do not understand moderation. Food servings are too big here. Yeah, feeling filled is great, but the fact that there is a four patty Baconator at Wendy's is too much food. Yes, it's too many calories for a family of four eating a five-course meal, too, but it's too much food for one person. It seems like it's gone too far because as soon as some restaurant comes up with a reasonable quantity of food, people won't know what to do with so little food and that joint will be closed twice as fast as it opened. Cheese comes on everything and cheese is delicious. Everything is doused in some sort of sauce or cream. Diet pop doesn't taste good so people opt to get non-diet drinks in exchange. That's where Thomas Kemper comes into play.

Thomas Kemper, a responsible group of people, has developed a root beer that is diet using Splenda that doesn't taste like you're drinking some sort of industrial strength floor cleaner. It's dark, has a strong vanilla taste, and although it isn't as complex as their non-diet version, people who drink diet pop or should be drinking diet pop can sigh in relief at the fact that this drink is not gross. It's more than not gross, but baby steps say that saying that it's "great" might be overstepping my boundaries. I will say that this is probably the best diet root beer I've had and that should hold some weight. Also, they still craft it using honey, just as one would expect from Mr. Kemper and friends.

I'm not calling you fat, but instead of drinking eight beers, six of which are in a six pack and it is a six pack made from other people's beer that they left in your fridge that you decided were now your own and you would fashion your own, custom sixer and balance it on your stomach, leave them in the fridge for another day, or never, and replace it with a six pack of delicious, diet root beer. Your belts, which you have actually worn out an awls because you have put so many of your own holes in them, will thank you.

Today was another earth scorching day in Buffalo. I had to run a bunch of errands so I was walking all over the place with the sun beating down on me. I could have really used a drink but I totally forgot to grab this when I left in a hurry this morning.

Maine Root is known for their delicious soda. I personally think their sarsaparilla is one of the best on the market. When I found out they started making lemonade, I was very excited to try it. When I saw it had maple syrup in it, my excitement was immeasurable.

Did it live up to the hype I gave it in my head? It surely did! As far as thirst quenching lemonades, this is one of the best I've ever had. I wish it had more tartness, but the lemon flavor is good and delicious. The maple syrup is what makes this drink amazing. It has this mouth-watering syrup aftertaste that makes me want to drink more.

To the people at Maine Root, thank you for making this but I have a suggestion. Use maple syrup in your root beer and/or sarsaparilla. It's been my dream to find a root beer with it, and I think it would make your already amazing soda unforgettable.

A lot of people fear Kim Jong-Il. This probably has something to do with the fact that he keeps his country under wraps, commits horrible human rights violations, and leaves the people who live there living in fear. I once watched a documentary about the Pyongyang mass games in North Korea. Basically, they put on this huge display of athletes, dancers, and gymnasts to celebrate Kim Jong-Il's birthday. They spent months and months, day and night, training for this. In the end, he didn't even show up. He wasn't sick or had something else to do, he just didn't feel like going. What a jerk!

I don't know about other people, but I stopped thinking Kim Jong-Il was a "threat" when I found this blog: http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com . This blog is why I love the internet. How can you live in fear of a guy who looks at stuff all the time? What I would love to see is him look at a bottle of this orange cream soda. I wonder if he'd be offended or flattered. It does say it has a "terrorizing taste".

As far as taste goes, he should be really flattered. This is one of the best orange cream soda's I've ever had. It has a really strong orange flavor with a nice creamy aftertaste. It's made with cane sugar and real vanilla. I was expecting it to be a generic soda inside of a cool bottle. The people at Rocket Fizz probably made sure it tasted good in case he got mad about the label. I don't blame them. I wouldn't want to be on Kim Jong-Il's enemy list.

I was riding my bike in a race at historic Billy Goat Falls today. Uphill, downhill, uphill, downhill and so on and so forth. It was a five and a half mile race and reached some intense inclines of about forty percent. It would have been a test to even the most seasoned rider. It took me twenty-six minutes to complete it and I rode along the mountains and we saw snowcaps on mountains, gondolas, and even that pesky Sasquatch who was just walking around in his cave watching the race.

When I finished, one whole minute behind my teammate, we headed back to base camp, cranked up Craig David's Story Goes, and drank some XAPP.

Initially the taste was pretty good. Fresh out of the cooler at the base it was pretty refreshing, but as soon as the dreaded room temperature hit, it started getting that thick, gritty, protein taste. If I could review the initial, better taste, it was good. Not too sweet and a pretty standard fruit punch taste. It didn't have any of the protein drink flavor. I don't know if it just kind of congealed once it warmed up, but that's what I'm hypothesizing happened and that led to a thick drink that was no where near as good as it initially was.

Tomorrow we may take a trip to that roller coaster that you can ride your bike on, or maybe take a day trip to space and ride in the tunnels they have up there. We'll play it by ear.

This drink is more soymilk than it is coffee and it shows. For some people that might be a turnoff, but for me it's a green light to keep on drinking. The coffee taste is at a level that puts it at "fancy coffee drink" status. Something that you would order at a local coffeehouse with a wacky name. It still has a coffee flavor, but it's smoothed out. If you drink your coffee black, this will taste insanely weak to you, but for those of us who only dabble in coffee drinks that are flavored with other things, this may be a stepping stone for getting into the hard stuff.

I am a licorice addict (except black licorice, it's some of the worst crap ever) . Seriously it's sad. If I open a bag it has to be taken away from me or I will consume it all in one sitting without even thinking about it, and I'm talking those huge bags of Twizzlers. Recently I've moved onto bigger and better things with Australian licorice. Now that is some good stuff. When I opened our package from Rocket Fizz and saw this bottle of red licorice soda I will admit I sort of lost my mind (I threw that black licorice one in Mike's pile, he can drink that swill and lie to you and say it was great).

So yes, I am an addict. I love licorice more than most foods. I had incredible expectations for this drink. Sadly Rocket Fizz did not follow through, and I mean very sadly. I thought I had found my new favorite pop. It smells almost right. By that I mean it smells like red licorice, but not as strong as Twizzlers. I was still extremely excited. I took a sip and noticed that while it's in your mouth it doesn't really taste like much. I took another sip and it has a very light "red pop" flavor. It's when you swallow that the actual flavor hits you. It's vaguely licorice tasting, but it's more of the cheap knock of brand licorice that you would find at a discount store.

Did I expect too much? Probably. Could Rocket Fizz have made a better soda? Definitely. It's by no means terrible. It's a decent fruity soda, but it didn't deliver what I wanted and that is saddening. I just really wish it was a lot stronger tasting.

Oh and to those of you who say that it's not real licorice unless it's black licorice, I will never understand your taste buds. I'd rather eat dirt. That's right dirt with worms in it!

On a fluke, sometimes it's really nice in Buffalo. Contrary to popular belief, although it snows like the dickens...Dickens(?)...Who cares? Contrary to popular believe, although it snows like Charles Dickens, the grass and snow sometimes emerge and when they do at the same time, it can be a really nice day. When this blue moon happens, the city knows it and every one goes outside. I'm going to say that the crime rate drops to zero because even the gangsters are drinking lemonade or buying new slacks at local shops. Gunfights are an indoor activity and should not be wasted on nice days like today.

We went out today to Buffalo's one of two beaches which, if you live in suburbia, are smaller than your yard and one of them is landlocked. A novel attempt, but poor delivery and a poor use of my tax dollars, I should say. Regardless, we played in the sand, walked by some WWII battleships, and got some ice cream. It was a nice walk into the sun and it made me quite parched.

While waiting for ice cream, I picked up a Vitamin Water that we somehow didn't do. I was going to get the orange one, because I like it, but the raspberry apple sounded better and more quenching. I made the right choice. It was everything I wanted it to be and was very refreshing, very cold, and I wish I didn't have to share it because I'm home now and am still thirsty. It did actually taste like raspberry and apple and nothing else. It was really good and possibly my new fallback when it comes to Vitamin Water. That says a lot.

To cap the night, I'm sure that there will be drag races outside my window as there are on most night and maybe, just maybe, if I'm lucky, there will be prostitutes outside watching the races, soliciting the racers and passersby. Hey, a woman has to make a living. I won't call the cops on you, girls.

Buffalo weather is really weird. It's less than a week until October and all of a sudden it's over 80 degrees today. Three days ago I was wearing pants and a hoodie, and still feeling a little cold. Today, I'm sweating in shorts and a t-shirt, even with an iced coffee in my hand. I'm sure some people are super stoked it's so nice today, but I want hoodie weather!

Being the "thirsty dude" that I am, I have plenty of drinks in my cupboard to battle the heat and quench my thirst. I wish I could call this a juice box, but it does not contain juice nor did it come with a straw (sadly). Its contents however make up for the lack of a straw because it's delicious. The mixture of coconut and mango is perfect, and it's definitely thirst quenching. This isn't as creamy as other coconut water's I've had, but I still really like it. It's more like a light mango juice with a smooth coconut aftertaste. Perfect for a hot day like today.

Most energy drinks are targeted towards people between the ages of 15 and 30. Companies market them as "extreme" drinks that give you a rush. Most of them are so jam packed with artificial chemicals that I won't be shocked when studies come out in 10-15 years showing that everyone has pickled their insides and we're all going to die, but hey I stayed out all night partying so who cares?

There are other people who need pick me ups as well, but they aren't going to drive to the local convenience store and pick up a Monster or a Rockstar. There are health conscious people out there who want a little extra help getting their day going. Typically those people drink coffee, but Sambazon offers an alternative. This drink is a mixture of sparkling acai and acerola juice that are both extremely healthy fruits. Then they mix in organic guarana, guayaki and yerba mate to add an energy burst. It's all natural, and it's not going to give you the jitters like you might expect from your run of the mill energy drinks.

It definitely tastes like acai, which I know a lot of people are turned off by. If it's a flavor you're not into, you should steer clear of this product. I personally enjoy it when it's not too overpowering and it's not in this drink.

It's a hard life being a nerdy football player. What's wrong with a 6' 4", 280-pound jock who also likes to play Magic: The Gathering? I'll tell you what's wrong with it, it cost me my Gatorade endorsement. I was at the regional semi finals and I brought my Gatorade water bottle with me because I like to stay hydrated when I'm fighting Shivan Dragons and Serra Angels. Well it just so happens that the head of Gatorade saw a picture of me on http://www.gatheringmagic.com drinking from my water bottle with my Magic cards in my other hand. Next thing I know, i get this call from my agent saying they're letting me go because "they don't like my off field activities". What am I? Michael Vick? It's a collectible card game, not dog fighting.

Anyways, my agent is in talks with this company Greater Than. He gave me a few bottles to try and I really like the stuff! It has a lot more flavor than Gatorade, plus it has coconut water in it so it has a really smooth after taste. The lemon-lime is my favorite so far because it's light, refreshing, but still flavorful. Hopefully they don't look down on people who play M:TG. I'd gladly drink from a Greater Than water bottle at the next tournament.

Franklin Mercer realized how much he had put his family through for the past couple of months. Whatever made him think that he was cut out to be an Olympic athlete is beyond me. Now that his dreams were behind him he decided to take Sharon and the kids on a camping expedition in Wisconsin.

They got a nice little lakeside cabin and everything was calm and relaxing. It was the most perfect vacation any of them had ever been apart of. When hiking the first night they discovered a cherry orchard and a cranberry swamp. What cranberries were doing growing in Wisconsin Franklin had no idea, but it was a nice discovery. On the third day Sharon decided to take the kids out to pick some fruit. They were filling their baskets and bindles full of juicy fruit (not the gum) when the trouble began. Dozens of cardinals came out of nowhere and started attacking the children, pecking at their tiny hands and faces. The family dropped everything and ran the mile back to their cabin, where they filled in Franklin on what had happened.

Franklin was infuriated and stormed out the door, grabbing his butterfly net off the porch. He made his way out to the orchard and hid until he saw a bird. He caught they cardinal in his net and was getting prepared to bash its skull in (Have I mentioned that Franklin has anger management problems?) when he realized that it wasn't an actual bird but rather it was animatronic. Suddenly he fell out of his hiding space in the tree. When he looked up there were two men standing above him. They helped him up, brushed him of and took him to the other side of the swamp where they had a small brewery. They were the Sprecher brothers, and they explained to him that they had grown the fruit in such a strange location in order to produce their new soda "Ravin' Red." They gave him a bottle to try, apologizing for their robot bird attack on his family. They had built them to keep away other animals, never expecting humans to stumble upon their orchard. Franklin accepted their apologies and cracked open the soda. His first thought when he took a sip was how full bodied it was. It had mostly a very sweet cranberry flavor, but some cherry was poking it's nose through. The brothers said the full bodiedness was due to the fact that it was fire brewed. That made sense so Franklin continued to drink. The more he drank the more he noticed a problem. The flavor didn't really fade away into an after taste after he swallowed. The more he drank the more intense the flavor got. BY the time he was 3/4 of the way done with the bottle it almost tasted like he was drinking a concentrate without the consistency. He finished off the bottle, told the brothers thank you for the soda, but you may want to work on it a little more and then walked home. Of course he did steal their butterfly net off of the porch as he had landed on his breaking it earlier in the story.