Jerry, could you come over here? Jer? You're fired. I just heard from Sheila Larson that you messed up on our last batch of tamarind iced tea. Here at Cintron, we don't settle for second best and we certainly don't accept screw-ups a large as the one you performed today lightly. I know you feel bad for it, but I feel a little like Alec Baldwin in the beginning of Elizabethtown where he fires Orlando Bloom because he made that defective shoe that lost the company just shy of a billion dollars. Sure, we didn't lose but one batch of tamarind tea, but it's a loss nonetheless and any opportunity to feel like Alec Baldwin, I'll do it.

What did you do? Well Sheila told me that you forgot to put the tamarind in with the mixture so all we put out was black tea. Now I haven't had any but Sheila is on her way up with a bottle so that we can both taste what mistakes taste like. Here she comes now. Thank you Sheila, you hair looks big today.

Alright, Jer, come pull up a seat and let's crack this open and see what getting fired tastes like. I've always wondered. It seems that since I've been here at Cintron, I've done nothing but go upward on the ladder of success. Do you want ice in your glass? Alright, here goes. Same time, Jerry.

Jerry, I've got to tell you...I thought it would be worse. If you ordered Cherry Coke and just got regular Coke, you'd be upset. Personally, I never really liked the taste of Tamarind but the thought of putting out a product that claims to be tamarind and doesn't actually contain tamarind, well that's a lie and over at Cintron, we don't lie, ever, Jer. I may have been rash on firing you before I drank this. It's not bad. It just tastes like a sweetened black tea with a little citrus in it.

You know what? I have un-fired you. You can take a week off, unpaid of course, just to kind of rest up so you don't blem like this again, but I am just going to have the labeling guys re-label this as sweetened tea and re-sell it. Jer, you're a good guy. I like you. You've been here for ten years. Just don't mess up again. Have Sheila come back in here with more of that tea. It's a delicious mistake you made there, Jerry. Have a good week to think about what you've done.

I always thought it was great when you would go to a diner and you could get Cherry Coke, but it wasn't made that way, they just added cherry syrup to the regular Coke. It always tasted better than the Cherry Coke you buy in bottles/cans.

Caruso's Legacy has taken this a step further, or actually backwards. When diners first began doing this they would use the juice from maraschino cherries to flavor the cola. Nowadays it's a cherry syrup that is manufactured expressly for this purpose, and it's not the same.

This bottle I hold in my hand is more like the original. A cola that is made with cane sugar instead of a gross syrup with maraschino cherry "juice." It tastes like something you would make for a little kid at a family party, and I am all for that. Someone in my family used to make "kiddie cocktails" which were just cherry juice and a random soda. I loved them then, and I love them now. I actually made one at my mom's birthday party a few weeks ago.

If you're a fan of Cherry Coke, put down the swill you're drinking and pick up one of these. You'll never look back.

There comes a time in a person's life where they taste a drink that really surprises them. Today is one of those days for me. I suspected this was going to taste like generic lemon lime pop with a horrible energy drink after taste. I was wrong on both counts. Sure this is a lemon lime energy drink, but it definitely doesn't taste like your usual 99 cent 2 liter store brand soda. I've never had Sprite sweetened with real sugar, but I'm guessing it would taste something like this. This is really tasty!

What about the horrible energy drink taste that usually comes with most energy drinks. Guess what? There is none! That's right, this is an energy drink that taste like Sprite sweetened with pure cane sugar and that's it. Pretty awesome in my book.

As Jay mentioned in his review of Blu Day, this is also one of the flavors not yet available in the US. Sadly this means I can't read the ingredients and figure out what this delicious energy drink is sweetened with.

I have a 500 button order due tomorrow so it looks like an all-nighter for me. Luckily I picked this energy shot up at Dollar Tree a couple weeks ago so I should be good to go. At first this wasn't that bad. I thought I had found yet another decent tasting energy shot. But then on the second sip the usual energy drink gross taste kicked in. Shortly after, it started tasting like a mix of cough syrup and melted popsicles. While I'm sure this is going to keep me awake, the taste is not great at all.

Since our newfound appreciation for coconut water (thanks to Zico), I was excited to try this. It's weird that it's sweetened with stevia but not an diet drink. Seeing that I'm not a huge fan of fake sugar, I wasn't looking forward to that part of this energy drink.

To my surprise, this is pretty good! The coconut gives it a really creamy taste. There's a little bit of the fake sugar and energy mixture in the aftertaste, but really not that bad. The mighty coconut flavor over powers most of the gross flavor, which is great news to me! I wish I could find more coconut flavored energy drinks. I think one sweetened with real sugar would probably be incredible.

I was racking my brain once I took a sip of this as to what it tasted like. Yeah, it tastes like cream soda but there is something else going on inside of this lil' bottle. Lil' Bottles. That's a good rap handle for a baby if it was acceptable for babies to rap and if I didn't hate kids singing so much. I think that one version of my personal hell would be to have to listen to all 20 Kidz Bop records on repeat for eternity. I think a place between hell and purgatory would be to have to listen to half of those records once. Ugh, kids singing. The worst. To pop songs, no less. Oh, I've got a great idea. Let's have the worst songs on the radio sung poorly to alright-ly sung by at least three kids at once. Great ideas.

So this drink. It's got a distinct taste and I couldn't put my finger on it. I was doing word associations in my head. Baseball. Gum. Just spitting words out. Then, I got it. The stick to a Lik-M-Aid, or Fun Dip to you new brat kids. It tastes like someone made cream soda with a Fun Dip stick in it. It's super sweet but acceptable somehow.

In the past six months I've gone from thinking that coconut water was worse than a cup full your gross uncle spit from his chew to becoming a fan. I still think it's completely disgusting when it's warm, but give me a nice tall ice cold glass of it and I will show you a refreshed individual.

When I saw there was a guava coconut water I knew that I needed it to continue my existence on this planet. I get that way about most things guava flavored. I'm glad I get that reaction because this is the best coconut water I have ever tasted. It could be due to the guava, or it could be that I think this is the only coconut water I've had that has a sweetener added to it. Either way it's sweet, refreshing and has a strong guava taste. I highly recommend it.

Do you want to know what a terrible, non-vocal review for a drink is? Letting someone try a drink and then watching them cover it up with Arby's french fries. This drink is not good. It has a cleaning solution taste and although the end is a nice, small little sweet treat, the effort and endurance your poor mouth has to deal with in order to get to "the end" is pretty unbearable.

It just tastes like a citrus mess until the flavor dissipates and leaves you with the sweet Reb-a, or Truvia, which is what they say they're using. I am going to blame this on the flavor division and not the sweetener division, two separate entities that may or may not exist at the Sans Soda factory. I don't know if someone played a practical joke on the flavor team by contaminating their batch of lemon lime behind their backs.

It has been a long time since I've had a good lemon lime pop that stood out from the Sierra Mists and 7-Ups and I thought this would have done the trick. After Thomas Kemper's Naturally Diet Cola, I thought that I was going to have myself a little treat. Instead, I was punished.

Organic. Organic is good. No harmful pesticides or other garbage making it into your food/drinks. The thing that some people forget is organic doesn't mean it has to taste good.

When this is right out of the fridge and it's really, really cold it's fairly good. I tastes like a fruit punch flavored sports drink. You can tell their is something hidden underneath. Like sea monsters hiding in the murky depths of the seas, there is something unpleasant in this drink. You can barely make it out when it's really cold, but as it warms up it becomes more apparent until it's like someone proclaimed, "Release the Kraken!" Then there is nothing but sorrow for everyone.

I was confused as to what it could be since it's sweetened with agave, which I love, and it has actual juice in it. I've narrowed it down to brown rice syrup, sea salt and potassium citrate. One of those three has to be the culprit, which ruins a potentially decent beverage.

Welcome to 1987. I'm eight years old and my two cousins are sleeping over at my house, and I'll be damned if we're not going to beat The Legend of Zelda! My mom got us stocked up on brownies, Twizzlers and Jolt. She wanted to get us store brand cola, but after a lot of begging I convinced her to shell out the cash to get the Jolt. By begging I mean promising I would do a ton of yard work to make up for it. I'll do it, but it will be half-assed by golly! She thought I wanted it because it looks a lot cooler compared to the store brand, but in reality I knew that we were going to need the extra caffeine punch if we were going to make it to Ganon.

You don't see Jolt soda in stores too much these days. You can still find their cans of energy drink, but the actual soda isn't as common. I had never seen this flavor before until I got it at Village Candy in Sewickley, PA. It differs from modern energy drinks because it doesn't have all the extra chemicals in it, just a butt load of caffeine. I actually enjoyed this way more than I expected. I was expecting this to be a cherry cola, but it's a cherry/orange mix (it actually has orange juice as an ingredient) with no cola. It's slightly candied flavor, but not as much as a lot of sodas. I appreciate that this company still exists and that they explored flavors other than straight cola.

Did we beat the game? Eventually, but not that night. We did stay up obscenely late for 8 year olds (probably 1am). That's what Jolt was to me though. It was for those nights when I needed to stay up for some menial task. It's pretty much the same way I look at energy drinks nowadays.

You kind of know what this is going to taste like. Need I make the comparison? Alright, if you need me to. This tastes like Arizona Green Tea. There, I did it. I sank down to your level and just came out and did it. I don't like that I had to do that, but it's true.

Here's the thing, though; it's better than Arizona because it uses real cane sugar. It's a matter of ingredients. If you have one that uses corn syrup and one that uses all natural ingredients you would be completely stupid to not choose the natural one. They are that similar that after all the drinks that I've drank, the two taste the same.

You are not stupid, and you are not beneath me, I feel that I must address that, but I might say that if you have a side-by-side and they are only fifty cents difference and you choose Arizona over this, you might want to get your head inspected.

A couple weeks ago was the annual Gathering of the Juggalos. Sadly I did not attend (nor have I ever), but I can still enjoy the festival from the comfort of my home thanks to blogs, digital cameras, and Youtube. My favorite article thus far is Buzz Feed's 89 Things I Learned at the Gathering of the Juggalos.

Every year, as I mull over the thousand's of photos of ICP fans camping in the middle of the woods, I always learn something. This year I learned that ICP prefers to use 2 liters of diet Faygo to drench the crowd during their set. Their reasoning apparently is because it's less sticky than the high fructose corn syrup bottles and they are also physically lighter so they are able to throw them much farther into the crowd. I can't really attest to either of those, but I'll take their word on it because they definitely have more experience with Faygo than I do.

The one thing I can comment on is the taste. This is a pretty standard cream soda, there's nothing special about it. It has a nice vanilla flavor, but the fake sugar aftertaste cuts right though it. While it's not the worst diet pop I've ever had, I've had much better. Maybe I should go to the mall and spray the rest of this on some juggalos. They'd probably give me a high five and start chanting "fam-il-y! fam-il-y! fam-il-y!"

The first time I ever heard of Ikea was in the following context: "And I wasn't the only slave to my nesting instinct. The people I know who used to sit in the bathroom with pornography, now they sit in the bathroom with their IKEA furniture catalog." That's right, Fight Club introduced me to Ikea. Those two sentences left me with no interest whatsoever to look into this company further. I thought it was some yuppy upscale mail order Sky Mall type scenario. Cut to several years later and I'm helping a friend move to Brooklyn. We get her minimal possessions loaded into her new apartment and then we drive to New Jersey so she can buy some stuff from Ikea. The quote from Fight Club suddenly made perfect sense. It's like a giant toy/candy store for adults. There was some neat stuff, but I had no need for it. Now cut to nearly a decade later and here I am with an apartment full of Swedish bookshelves. I gave in. They make some decent furniture and it's affordable. I'm not getting off over a catalog, but I know some people that would.

Is there a point to this? Not really, I just wanted to tie in Fight Club with this, because it's still my first thought whenever someone mentions the store. I went to Canada last weekend to get some shelving units and picked up a couple of their drinks. This one is sparkling apple juice. It tastes like a slightly lighter version of the sparkling apple juice that us non-drinkers buy for New Years Eve. It's a very specific taste that normal apple juice and cider doesn't have. I like it. It's sweeter and slightly fermented tasting. A carbonated version of what my grandpa would slip me a sip of when I was a kid.

I typically don't drink energy drinks. It's because I have something against them. You thought I was going to say something clichè like "It's not like I have anything against them..." and have some other excuse, I do and the reason is that they typically taste like sweet garbage. You heard me, sweet garbage.

My mom went to the grocery store and, once again, ran into some promoter of drinks, dropped my name, and got free stuff. I don't know what she's telling people, but I hope that she embellishes a little bit because "My son is a thirsty dude." doesn't really work, or at least I think "My son runs an award winning website where he and other highly paid and equally handsome business associates decide the fate of drinks and their manufacturers." sounds a whole lot more convincing. My God, I hope that we don't run a company out of business. I don't think that even the worst reviewed drink company deserves that.

Wave, hopefully not taking their name from the most annoying in event group participation activities because as awesome as it looks when everyone does it, only six people out of 25,000 do it and it looks like some creeper grabbed the butt of six people, doesn't taste bad. I know; an accomplishment in itself. It's fruity and although tastes like an energy drink at the end of the day, it could be way worse. I made it probably three quarters through the can, and that's saying a lot because I don't really drink energy drinks at all. That will not count against their final score. Let it be known.

I might actually recommend this drink as an alternative to Red Bull because I feel like they've become complacent in their standing of being the staple energy drink and a lot of other companies have come out since them and stepped up the game. If you are a fan of energy drinks, try this. I think you'll like it.

As much as I would like to make up a story, this drink deserves a legitimate review. I don't know what a pomelo is but I know what green tea tastes like and subtracting that out pomelo is something else. Think of green tea and then think of adding both oranges and cantaloupe and some sort of floral essence to this drink and there you have it. It's all-natural and it is actually a wonderful drink.

I got this in a tiny Asian market 'round the corner from my house and I have never seen it anywhere else. I guess that's handy for me, but for you, it might be tricky to track down. If you find it, I think it was a dollar and it was a dollar well spent.

It's everything you love about green tea and everything you would love about a citric juice combined into a simple and delicious drink. I wish I hadn't waited this long to drink it because I have unknowingly been holding back on myself.

I've said it before and I'll say it again 2011 is the summer of lemonade. The amount I have consumed it absolutely ridiculous. I can't believe it has taken me so long to try the Bolthouse Farms version, as I am a huge fan of their beverages. Wrap your brain grapes around that.

This is thicker than most lemonades. It doesn't have the consistency of a smoothie, but it's way denser than your average glass of lemon water. The thickness is due to the mango puree they use to flavor it. It really is a perfect blend of lemon and mango. It's more of a breakfast drink. I can see waking up making a nice large breakfast and settling down on my nonexistent back porch to enjoy it with a glass of this lemonade.

There is a common misconception in this world that the life of a hula girl is an easy one. The truth is nothing could be further from the truth. They are required to wake up an hour before dawn in order to get a proper workout before the brutal sun rises. Said work out included power lifting crates of pineapples and running four miles barefoot over a trail of discarded pineapple "shells" as wild boars chase them. They do this in order to keep up their stamina. After a three-minute rest period, each hula girl must then eat 1/4 of her weight of a mixture of pork and poi in order to keep up her "plump" body type. There is a fine line that they must walk between being healthy and in shape and not becoming skinny. After gorging themselves the girls go out to their first jobs of the day on tourist boats. After the first eight hours they are allowed 30 minutes of personal time before they must report to the luau for the nights festivities. After several more hours of grueling dancing they are allowed to pass out for a few short hours before they must rise and begin it all again.

In the olden days the girls would often collapse from exhaustion. Then energy drinks came onto the scene. Many of the girls refused to drink them because they tasted foreign and did not fit in with the tastes of their culture. Now that Cintron has released this Pineapple Passion energy drink 99.4% of all hula girls are on board. When you first pull it out of the fridge and drink it while it's nice and cold it doesn't taste like an energy drink at all. It actually tastes like a nice pineapple pop. As it warms up the chemical flavor raises it's head more and more. If you drink this over a half hour, by the end it will be kind of gross, and the pineapple flavoring will become nothing more than an afterthought. I suggest you drink it ice cold and bask in its glory that way. Celebrate the salvation of the hula girl!

Much like the other flavor of Tweaker I had, this is pretty damn good. I don't like it as much as the grape, but in the world of energy shots it's definitely in the top tier as far as taste goes. This has a mixed berry taste to it, but has a little bit more chemical aftertaste than the grape did. It definitely works in the energy department as well. I was feeling a little sleepy here at Spiral Scratch but now I'm chair dancing to Crystal Castles.

For far too long Gatorade ran the sports drink world with its syrupy fluids. Other contenders came along such as Powerade that really did not step up their game. The Vitamin Water came onto the scene. I don't know if it really counts, but I'm going to say it does. They didn't use HFCS so their drinks had a thinner consistency. Now Greater Than comes onto the scene. They are here to let the world know that sports drinks can be all natural and still be hydrating and refreshing.

To boil it down to me this is like coconut water mixed with Gatorade, but it's sweetened with beet sugar. At first it's kind of strange, but after two sips I got used to it and it was enjoyable. It really tastes like someone mixed a little classic orange Gatorade into a bottle of plain coconut water. I drank this after spending a couple of hours in my sweatbox of a print shop, and I definitely felt refreshed. I'll have to try it again after a long bike ride and see how it works.

This, to me, could be the start of my drink obsession. My parents used to bring me to the fair every year when I was a kid. Young like four probably. Could be less. Every year, I remember going to get birch beer. It was the same booth in the same place every single year and after awhile, I would look forward to it. My parents would get me a small cup of birch beer and that would be that. The rides were second to me getting this drink. I "grew up" and we stopped going to the fair. Probably because for the six of us it was going to cost my dad over a hundred dollars after parking, food, admission, and probably some rides and games. Midway, if you will.

I probably took a good ten to fifteen years off from going to the fair. It just wasn't important and none of my friends drove and there were fairs that were closer that we would go to. You don't have to go to every fair. Little did I know that my little mind still held on to my true love; that birch beer.

I went a few years back and it slipped my mind and all I bought was pulled taffy which I then forgot I bought, tried to eat two or three days later, realized that there is about a one day span where you can eat it, and discouragingly had to throw it away. Not this year, man. Same place. It was like it never left. I asked the ladies behind the counter if it could be bought anywhere in bottles or cans and they said you can only get it at "the fair". I don't know if it's a traveling thing or what, but if it was ever sold in stores or even there in some intimate and overpriced six pack, you know I'd lose my mind and buy like seventeen cases and be the happiest kid ever.

Why would I not forget it? It's just a drink and yeah, the last time I had it, I was probably like ten years old, but let me tell you; you don't forget. Today brought it all back. It's super dark and very rich. It's got all the right spices and is perfectly sweetened. There might have been anise or licorice and I'm sure if I asked them they wouldn't have told me. It was very dark in color, too. Not too carbonated but far from flat. Just an explosion of flavor every sip. I've had some that compare, none that I can do so now, but it's good.

I can't find much on the company. Only that it's owned by a local couple, who celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary in 2009. I would like to let them know that they turned me into the monster that I am today and legitimately thank them.