If Paula Deen called me up and said, "Mikey, I'm cordially invitin' myself to y'all's house this Thursday and y'all'r gonna make me supper." I would have no idea what to make. She's a world-renowned chef and I'm some jerk kid with a sweet/gross beard who drinks stuff. She's got to be expecting something good, and no, hot dogs are not good enough for Paula Deen. I'm not going to make anything she couldn't blow me out of the water with so I'm going to have to prepare something out of this world, like steak with macaroni and cheese inside of it with a side of macaroni and cheese with steak in it. She's probably never seen that and I would at least have the element of surprise on my side. Darn, she'll want another side because one side is simply not enough for a guest. What am I going to make? I've clearly got nothing in my shelves based on my theoretical main course and initial side. Apples? Sliced apples as a side? I can put some brown sugar on there. Done. That's got some color and sweetness to offset the salty, cheesy meal. I'll make regular corn, too, out of the bag, boiled. Why? Corn is a great compliment to any meal.

To wash it down, without a doubt, this mint julep pop. Sure, I could do sweet tea, but riddle me this, friends; do you think that I can serve her a sweet tea that she wouldn't scoff at? I know, she seems like the nicest woman ever on TV, but do you think that she got to the top of the charts by being nice? She's got some want and competition in that bubbly personality that would knock the toughest Ironman on his dumb feet. She'll probably sit down, eat my disgusting meal, and then try and wash it down with this minty drink and say, "You'all's know what you're doing with this meal." Know why? This minty pop will disguise the abomination that she just ingested and she'll forget all about it. It's real sugar and she'll like that and it says plantation so she'll forget about the wool I tried to pull over her eyes and talk about the South, which is all I wanted to do during this entire meal anyhow.

Mike: 1.
Paula Deen: 1,891,954.

In the Rocky Mountains the Brothers of Barrels did live.
Each with their own gift to the world to give.
Martin with a root beer that was very plain,
and decent cream soda was created by the brother Shane.
Why don't you mix the two together their father did suggest.
The creator of Apple Beer the brothers could not protest.
Now the sum is certainly better than the parts,
but the mixture didn't quite capture the Thirsty Dudes hearts.
While our interests the vanilla cream did pique,
the root beer was a bit watered down and weak.

My ladyfriend and I moved into a new place. I expected to move stuff Saturday and be done with it. I figured one vanload of furniture and one of everything else. We're simple people we don't own much stuff. Everything I owned was basically stuffed into my bedroom of the past six years. Four days and five vanloads and four carloads later we have everything moved in. Where and when did I acquire so much stuff? I knew I had a lot of CDs/records/books/DVDs but those all fit into maybe 6 or seven boxes.

It didn't help that it was sweltering hot and the humidity was ridiculous. The amount of water I have consumed in the past 96 hours is obscene. I would down a monstrous glass and five minutes later feel like I had sweat it all out. Once things started to calm down I celebrated with this lemonade. It was worth the wait and worthy of a celebration. The peach flavor is out of control good, but it still tastes very much like lemonade. I think the secret is that they use peach puree instead of just juice. It's fairly thick in the best way possible. It hit the spot exactly when I needed it to.

There are two things that Santa Cruz is known for and they don't mess around with either; skateboards and lemonade. Now that I think about it I've never owned a Santa Cruz deck. I had a bunch of t-shirts, but never an actual board. How great would it be if this was the same company? I'm 99% sure it's not, but it would rule if there was a bunch of aging skaters putting out some of the best lemonade you can get your hands on.

It tastes like cucumber and that's strange to you, huh? Never had a vegetable juice that is sweet, huh? Well guess what? It happens, brother or sister depending on what sex you are. It happens. Sometimes is happens well and sometimes it happens...not so well. This time, Rob's did a good job. It's not a juice, technically, but it's sweeter than you might expect.

I will say that the sweetness might "common folk" it up. You know, make it so Joe Everyman can come home from the ol' Packard Sawmill and drink something healthy, even though this isn't really healthy as much as it is just low in calories.

For me, I'm more of a man that is on the fringe, the bleeding edge. I am not scared of just something that tastes like liquid celery, because that's what I expected when I drank this, although I do congratulate Rob on making something that is still in the essence of cucumber and tastes so much like it but is still quenching.

Step 1: Take a delicious glass of lemonade
Step 2: Pour some seltzer water into it
Step 3: Squeeze a lime into the glass
Step 4: Add an energy mixture
Step 5: Grab a box of Stevia and shake it like a Polaroid picture into the glass

End result: A drink that is a delicious tart lemonade at first, but then has an awful fake sugar and energy drink aftertaste. I'm sure people who like Stevia will think this is great, but I personally can't get into it.

I, honestly, do not like Peace Tea. Jay likes it, and that's all well and good, but I don't. Something about it gives me a bad taste in my mouth...literally. I do not want to discourage you from purchasing it because to each his own, but that's just how I feel.

This tea, on the other hand, is pretty great. Pretty great, indeed. It's just unsweetened tea but there is something else in there that I can't place my finger on. It's not sweetened and there isn't any fruit flavor in it. It has "natural flavors" but I assume/think that's just the tea. There's a stabilizer in there, but that's not doing anything but let me tell you, there is magic or secret ingredients in this can.

Stevia gives me a cool, sweet aftertaste to things. This tea has the slightest essence of sweetness at the end, but don't get me wrong, it's still unsweetened. There is no sugar in here. Hence, magic. I love that there is magic in this can and because of it, I, Mike Literman, who previously doesn't like Peace Tea, loves this Peace Tea.

I've never had goji berry juice before. I've had things that have been flavored with goji, but nothing this strong. It was a really surprising upon first sip. It has a really rich flavor to it. Usually energy shots are kinda gross and it takes a lot to choke them down. While I'm not the biggest fan of goji berries, this is by far the best tasting energy shot I have ever had. On top of that, it's full of so much good stuff that I don't feel like I'm poisoning my body by drinking it. I think a less concentrated energy drink of this, with carbonated water added would taste amazing.

I don't know what the difference between Blu and Blu Day is in the energy sense, but I can 100% say that Blu Day may be the best energy drink I have ever tasted.

When the company sent us some samples to review they mentioned that a couple of them were not available in the U.S. I will assume that this is one of them since I cannot translate the label.

Seriously though, it's incredible. It's like Red Bull and an entire field of mixed berries had a baby together and that baby got liquefied and put into this tiny can. It almost tastes diet, but it keeps its flavor so I don't think it actually is. It certainly is the most refreshing energy drink I've ever had.

This is another drink that my friend Nina brought back from Germany for me. I don't really know why we don't have straight up lemon pops in the States. Everything is always lemon and lime. Sometimes I want just lemon, if you jump in the car with lemon and lime is riding shotgun, you're probably just going to go to the mall and TGI Fridays for some food. When it's just you and lemon, that's a whole other adventure. You might actually take in a movie and hit up Chili's for some endless chips and salsa. It's not a crazy adventure, but it different and different drinks have their different moments.

This is almost carbonated lemonade, but it has more of a sweet soda pop flavor to it. I really enjoyed it. I'm pretty bummed that the bottle is empty and it is going to be some time before I can get my hands on it again.

This drink left me wanting more. It tastes like mint seltzer water. I didn't get any tea flavor and didn't get a lot of sweetness. If you are anything like my girlfriend, you drink soda water at restaurants, or even San Pelligrino, which I find undrinkable. I think people drink it because it seems like the "rich person" thing to do when I'm pretty sure that even "rich people" drink it because they see other "rich people" drinking it and secretly not liking it.

Rich people do some strange things. Honestly. One word. Madras. Cut that crap out.

Rich people might like this or they might like pretending to. Us people down in the streets, we want something that doesn't taste like your fountain pop machine ran out of syrup and the idiot behind the counter didn't notice. That on mint.

Great, they did it again! Here I am, just a run-of-the-mill tactical armored robotic pontoon (everyone calls me TARP), sitting in the water. 2:00pm rolls around, which is my refueling time. It's easily the highlight of my day since I have never seen battle. Everyone knows i get 3 quarts of premium grade fuel. It's in my manual, on the sign on the dock, and I've even made sure everyone in the troop gets a twitter update about it at 1:30pm everyday. The guys who have been on base for a few years, they know better. They are aware of what I'm capable of. It's these new recruits, these "hot shots" fresh out of the academy that love to pull pranks on me.

The latest prank they like to pull is giving me this energy drink, Troop Fuel, instead of my request premium grade stuff. Don't get me wrong; this stuff isn't bad at all. It tastes a lot like Red Bull, but not as bitter tasting. Why do I know what Red Bull tastes like? Another prank. See, these guys know energy drinks get me going crazy. I'm used to sitting still in this water all day, so an energy drink gets me all wired. This Troop Fuel is definitely doing the trick. If I weren't chained to this dock, I'd be zipping around this lagoon.

Come on. Please take this blindfold off. Why did you throw me in the back of an unmarked van, destination unknown? I didn't do anything. I don't have any money but we can come up with some sort of agreement, right? Let me explain myself. I was minding my own business on my only day off in India on a work trip and I was sitting by the water, drinking some juice.

What do you mean, "that's why you're here?" I don't understand. The water? I won't go back if that's what's wrong. What? The juice? What was wrong with that? Really? That's why? It's because it wasn't 100% juice? Seriously? What are you doing? Are you poisoning me? Then why are you making me drink stuff with a blindfold on and screaming at me to drink?

Fine, fine, I'll drink. Can I hold the cup? You guys are spilling whatever I'm drinking all over my Hard Rock India t-shirt. Thank you. What is this, it's familiar. Pomegranate juice? That's what I was drinking before this whole incident. You kidnapped me because I was drinking cheap juice and you wanted me to describe a better picture of India when I went home? Well I've got to say that this whole situation isn't helping but this juice is pretty great. It just tastes like a pomegranate. Really, just pomegranate and water is in that? It's good.

What are you doing back there? Oh, thanks for taking that cloth off my face. Huh? All girls. No offense, but you are all very attractive and I am honesty surprised that you disguised your voices so well. Ha ha. Really? A Talkboy? Good, classic trick, Caulkin. We'll I will absolutely drink more of this until I leave on Thursday. I should take this as a message to not only drink better quality juice but to go to the gym. None of you ladies are over 120 pounds.

Dear Sir, are you a liar? No. Well, that's good enough for me. I believe you about your tea. I mean Honest is your name. This certainly tastes like brewed green tea and nothing else. Good job and keep up those truths.
-Thirsty Dudes

Over six years ago Mike and I moved into an apartment together. The house number was 23, so we dubbed it "Michael Jordan". Now all these years, and an absent landlord later, I am moving out. Yesterday we moved pretty much everything. One thing I have to remark on is “where did I get all this garbage from?” I thought I didn't own much of anything, but I have so much crap. Ugh.

After a couple of hours of moving, I was completely beat. I went to the fridge and cracked open this cool frosty root beer. It was extremely refreshing. To be fair I was covered in sweat and completely beat, so anything that didn't taste like liquid garbage would have been welcomed.

Frostop has a classic root beer taste with some extra ingredients added. It tastes vaguely medicinal in a Moxie sort of way. It may just be that there is a lot of anise in it. I still enjoyed it, and guzzled down the bottle way faster than I should have.

I should go finish my move now, but instead I'm going to go wander around the woods with some friends.

As Jay mentioned, Marburger was previously known as "Fike's" and drinking this brings me back to simpler times. When I had my first helping of this, it was probably around two in the morning and I was waiting in line to get pizza after my break from "metal night" only to finish said pizza and then go back to "metal night" until four in the morning and then have to drive forty minutes home.

This was always impressive to me. I know, I know, it's got corn syrup in it, but when you drink it then and there, right out of the cooler, it's not that bad and it doesn't have that cheap, corn syrup sting. There isn't a bad, gas station iced tea. It's actually not too bad at all, and for the price, you can't really beat it. Taste is not anything like an instant tea and I don't know why they even advertise it as such. Yeah, I know it's technically an ingredient, but it seems like something they would at least want to skim over. I could go to the store, buy iced tea mix, and make it myself. It just seems strange that there are still these other ingredients aside from "iced tea mix" but I guess even the mix is made of something.

Marburger, you're alright with me.

"Serenity Now!"

If your first thought is anything else when you first see this product I can pretty much guarantee that you are not an American between the ages of 25 and 50. I haven't even seen a lot of Seinfeld and I even think of it. This was Frank Costanza's (George's dad) mantra to help him lower with blood pressure and relax him. If he could taste that mantra he would say that it tastes like cake batter that is heavy on the vanilla. Oh yeah, it's also got fake sugar for the diabetic crowd.

I thought I was going to go out to a friend's DJ night tonight, but I was reminded that I should stay in and pack, seeing as I start moving in the morning. Unfortunately I drank a Bawls G33K B33R around 10:00, and I'm pretty wired. I now have 90% of my stuff packed up and waiting in the living room. It's sweet that I'm pretty much done, but "I have too much caffeine in my blood stream" and since I didn't end up going out, "a lack of real spice in my life." Thanks Moz. Hopefully this drink will help bring me back down to a relaxed state so I can actually get some sleep tonight.

"Serenity Now! Insanity Later!"

Rob's has really stepped up their game with their newest line. They are all way more flavorful then their predecessors.

The Love Potion name of this drink is truly appropriate. After just one sip has "definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me." At first I just thought it was a unique deliciousness. Then my ladyfriend said that it tastes like bubble gum. Instantly I realized the flavor and I narrowed it down to specifically strawberry Hubba Bubba gum. Somehow Rob's has melted a gum flavor from my youth down into a delicious 14fl oz bottle. Who knew that flavor was just composed of strawberries, roses and passionfruit. It makes sense that all of said things would be in a love potion, but who knew gum. I guess that makes all of my awkward unrequited preteen crushes make sense. Thanks a lot Hubba Bubba, you jerk

Science made this tea. No questions asked. There is no way that a group of people that just make drinks made this. They had to hire out a special force of mixologists and chemists and florists to get the blend of magic that is contained within this bottle. Every sip is the most bold, complex taste your tongue has ever had.

Licorice, hibiscus, cinnamon and more. There is a serious spicy, floral explosion with every gulp. At zero calories, this could come in a fifty-five gallon drum and it wouldn't be enough. I have nothing bad to say about it other than I tried to span it out as long as I could and could not let it stay in my fridge undrank any more. Even the Reb A left you with a cool, sweet taste when the main show was over with. It was a dessert to a perfect meal, if you will.

Get it. End of story.

I'm not one to turn down a ginger beer. I've actually been searching high and low for the greatest ginger beer of them all. If I ever narrow it down to two I may have them go head to head in a Thunderdome style scenario. How much of a crock was that anyways. "Two men enter. One man leaves." Master Blaster was two separate people. I don't know about you, but where I'm from that's considered cheating. I suppose it would also be cheating if I entered this ginger beer into the competition since it is unfairly matched up with its friend lime. Let me tell you they make an incredible pair.

This tastes like there was a malfunction at the factory where they were making some sort of Sprite rip off. The lemon pump got all jammed up and only lime made it into the mix. Then instead of wasting the whole batch they added a decent ginger beer to the mix. It's sweet and refreshing with a ginger aftertaste and a medium burn. If these were readily available around Buffalo I might have a problem.

Do you honestly think that you can make money off that, Sherman; a fox that knows karate? It's a novelty, sure, but does he really know karate or does he just look adorable in a gi? You don't know what a gi is and you want to...a gi is a karate uniform. Yes, with the belt. What color belt are you going to give him and don't say black because you and I both know that a fox could not achieve the highest standard in karate. He's nowhere near as disciplined and I have never even met him. You say that you've got a sponsor already? That's quick, who is it? Krazy Kritters? What do they do? They make juice? Oh, sparkling juice! Cool. I'd like to try that someday when you make it big.

You've got some on you now? Oh, there's that little fox on there now. Cool. Good job. I guess he didn't even need to actually take a class. Can I have this to drink? Thanks. Oh, this is...odd. Did you drink this before you signed the contract? It's strange. It tastes like...remember when they made that gum with pop in it? That's what it tastes like. If you put fruit punch pop in gum and then liquefied it this is what you would have. Plus, the Stevia kind of gives it this unwanted, bitter aftertaste that I do not find desirable.

Look we all know that pictures of starving children sells records, but do foxes in karate attire sell drinks? I don't think so if it tastes like this.