I don't think this should ever be given to a child. It's just pure sugar. The blue raspberry flavor is really tart, which is nice, but a little overwhelming. Monet says it reminds her of a liquid blue raspberry Jolly Rancher. I don't taste it, but that's probably because my throat is burning from all the sugar in this. Seriously, if someone who drinks soda all day/everyday says that something is too sugary, then there's something wrong.

I didn't know what to expect with this. Upon first sip, it tasted like soymilk with an extra flavor to it. Then Monet reminded me of the mung bean dessert balls you get at Thai or sushi restaurants. That is EXACTLY what this tastes like. Even though we followed Jason's instructions to shake this prior to opening, the tapioca balls still stayed at the bottom. The tapioca balls are much smaller and less chewy than those I'm used to in bubble tea. Sadly, these would not be as effective if you were to spit them.

Monet's four-word review: dirt, leaves, metal, and banana.

This smells sweet, but as we know smells can be deceiving. I definitely get a strong banana flavor, which is weird because it's not marketed as a banana drink. I've never had basil seed before, so maybe that it the slight dirt/leaves taste I'm getting that Monet was referring to. This is alright, but nothing I really want to drink. I feel like this would be a good drink to give a kid who loved bananas but you didn't like. They would initially be excited about the banana flavor, but then the dirt aftertaste would kick in. Congratulations, you just made an enemy for life.

I enlisted my friend Monet to help me drink a few of my more interesting drinks. I am about to move back to Buffalo, NY and need to get through my big backlog of reviews.

Upon first trying this, Monet thought it tasted like a melted pink Otterpop. About two minutes later, a heat wave of vinegar rose up from her stomach. She immediately took back her previous statement.

Since I had tried a couple flavors of this before, I knew what to expect. Maybe it was mean of me to not inform Monet of the 2 minute wait time of the vinegar kicking in, but I wasn't aware of it the first time I drank this so I opted to let her experience it for herself. This is alright. The peach is nice, but the vinegar still doesn't sit well.

POG is one of the best drinks I've had from Hawaii. It's fruity and sweet in all the right ways. When I saw they had an offshoot called POG Power I thought I might have the world's most delicious energy drink on my hands. Like many times in my life I was wrong. Not in the flavor department, but in the fact that this is not an energy drink at all. It is in fact a sports drink. It's kind of like Gatorade and POG combined, except it's more flavorful than the prior. It's pretty good, but I see no reason for it when you can just be drinking the original POG.

Today I went on a long horseback ride through mountains and beaches. If I had long hair it would have been flowing through the breeze. Since I do not, I instead got a dusting of red dry mud. That's dirt for you amateurs out there. After my ride I settled down with a couple of very dusty dogs and I downed a can of this local iced tea.

The can boasts proudly that there is no HFCS contained with in and that they use the finest natural cane sugar. This got me pumped. I love tea in cans. I have a ridiculous theory that the tea continuously brews in the can making it more potent. It's also rare to find a cane sugar tea in a can.

I cracked this baby open and took a huge chug in the blistering sunlight. Then I wiped the dribble from my mouth using the back of my hand, thus creating wet dirt. Did I enjoy the refreshment? You betcha. Was it special? Not really. It was reminiscent of Nestea. I had hoped for something a little better, but it got the job done.

These Neuro drinks look so alluring on the shelves. I applaud the company for making a unique looking bottle with enticing colors (even though it looks like it should be some sort of adult toy).

Derek had reviewed one of these a while ago, but I had never seen them in stores. When I found them in a grocery store I felt compelled to buy them all, even though he had given his a terrible review. That, my friend, is proof that quality packaging can go a long way for a product. I convinced myself that I really only needed to buy one. I chose the one that is suppose to increase mental energy and focus. I chose this one because I'm on vacation, and when people are away from the real world for too long they tend to become morons. When you don't have to think or worry much about live everything seems great, and I know I tend to become vulnerable to making dumb decisions. So I'm taking the offensive here. Will it work? Who knows, but it's worth a try.

The first thing I have to say about this drink is "Holy diet!" It's hard to make out what flavor this is supposed to actually be. The taste I'm searching for is lost in a cloud of artificial sweeteners. I think it's supposed to be berry, but I couldn't testify in a court of law. Drink court....now that is an idea. Customers take companies to court for putting out terrible beverages. I'm smelling reality TV of the dumbest kind. I wonder if they would let us be the judges. We could be called in for our expert opinions. I mean Mike and I are scientists. I would even settle for being the thirsty jury. Someone pitch this to the networks. Quick!

If a poll was taken across the islands of Hawaii to determine what the state juice would be I'm pretty sure POG would be announced the winner of the silver medal. If you thought that it would get the gold then you my friend forgot about a little thing called the pineapple. Can anything really compete with the pineapple on Hawaii? If it ran I'm sure it would win the office of governor for the state. It has that much power.

Enough about pineapple, it has no place in this drink. Here the other Hawaiian fruits reign supreme. Passion fruit, orange and guava run this game. Sweet. Fruity. Refreshing. (On a side note I ate a guava straight from a tree yesterday and that was enough to make me want to move my entire life to the islands.) The carton tells a story of the Poflodytes, Furry little creatures that gather the fruit and make the juice. I believe this is a cover up created by the POG company so that people won't realize that all of their labor is provided by the obscene amount of feral cats that wander the islands. If you ever think you see a Poglodyte take a closer look and you will see the zipper on their costumes. Beware though. The chickens are not what they seem.

Ho-lee-crud does this stuff work. Let me tell you a story.

I have a son who is 3 months old. Currently, he is watching TV and is awesome. Yesterday...not so much. Screaming. I work outta-da-home Mondays and Tuesdays and I typically get about 4 or 5 hours worth of work. Yesterday he was a jerk. Yeah, he's three months and he was a three-month-old jerk. I might have gotten two bad hours of work done and he screamed for hours. I just kept saying, "He's only a baby. You can't get mad at him." all day. From about 7 - 9 he was screaming for some reason. I needed to calm down. I went into the stash, saw that little bottle, and knew it was time. Frankie says "Relax".

I drank it in two sips. First sip was a very berry taste with a little bit of diet and the second sip flipped but it was over before it started and we were off to the races. Literally, fifteen minutes later I felt as if I was holding 50-pound dumbbells in each arm. You know when you're sleeping and you don't want to move your arms when you just wake up? That's where I was. You know when your significant other asks you to get a glass of water at 3 in the morning because, apparently, their legs are broken and you respond with something like, "A goose is at the door. Wait...what? Yeah, water, sure." That's where I was, promptly.

I would have slept soundly if it wasn't for that meddling kid, but when I did fall asleep, I don't think that you could have woken me up with a cannon, and this was only the Relax drink. Also, if it needs to be said, I didn't have any strange dreams.

This soda intrigued me because I had no idea what it was going to taste like. I have never drunk a soda with guarana in it before. I know it's a common ingredient in energy drinks, but I've never seen a guarana flavored drink before. Even though the good folks at Real Soda make this in the USA, they make it with the same ingredients as the traditional Brazil soda.

My thoughts? It's alright. I don't think it's anything special. It tastes like ginger ale without any ginger, or maybe a bland lemon-lime soda. It's not bad. It just has no personality to it at all. This is the Ann Veal of sodas. If I could add a caption under the photo, it would say, "not pictured".

I made it to Hawaii alive. I was surprisingly not too miserable after 17 hours of traveling. To help refuel myself I drank a pineapple smoothie that was pretty astounding. Then I hit up a grocery store for rations for the week. I found a couple bottles of this aloe that is made in Hawaii. Pretty great, right? Want to know what's better? I realized there are huge aloe plants everywhere around here, and I'm going to attempt to eat it fresh.

This was very good. Average style chunks, with a strong aroma of honey. The honey flavor was also way stronger than I expected, which was nice. It's always great to find "irregular" flavors of aloe.

Simpson Spring makes a good soda. They have yet to disappoint me. This orange soda was no exception. It's good, but not great. It reminds me a lot of San Pellegrino Aranciata, but with more sugar. It's a good simple orange soda that is definitely better than Crush and Sunkist. Also, I love the shade of orange this had. If I could, I'd give this a 5-bottle rating in the color category.

It's been a hard day is New Jersey. Your wife has been nagging you to quit your job at the pizza place, your kids have been getting in trouble at school and your Honda CRX needs new tires. I know!! Sure they're $30 a piece and you know a guy who can get them cheaper than that because they fell off a truck. Honestly, that guy must just drive behind trucks all day, ready to jump out at a moment's notice in case something falls off. I've never been behind a truck that dropped anything. My friend Ian once drove behind a truck and a rocking chair came out of the back and within a week, a sheet a drywall fell out and he said that it exploded. That must have been awesome. So you've had a hard day. You come home and...oh seriously...the cable is out? You thought you paid it? Yeah, they probably messed up, not you. So what's a boy to do? Open up that fridge baby and grab out some officially licensed product from your and my dad's favorite show, The Sopranos. It hits so close to home. You drove the same streets as those glorious gangsters. They've got family and you've got a family. You love the movie "The Godfather" and they do, too. Same wavelength.

This HBO created show which has won so many awards has created an equally award winning drink, and I wouldn't use that phrase lightly. Myself, not being one who drinks, doesn't know what actual Chianti tastes like, really enjoyed it. It's a light, fruity flavor and actually has less bite than most Italian soda. It was calm and cool, just like you when your spinning those pies. That's when you're at your best. Throwing pizza in the air with the greatest of ease is what makes you happy. You're good at it and you know it. Don't let your nagging wife or dumb kids let you forget it.

Given that the company who makes this soda is based out of Wyoming, they're really going after that "olde time western" feel. Judging by the label, I feel like I should be watching an old Clint Eastwood movie as I drink this. Sadly, I don't have a copy of The Outlaw Josey Wales (which is my favorite western of all time) so I'll have to do without it for this bottle.

By now, I've tried enough different ginger beers to be able to smell it and know how spicy it's going to be. This has a light ginger smell, so I knew it wasn't going to be too intense. With little sips, there's barely any burn. Big sips you get a nice burn, but it's not overwhelming. This would be a perfect entry-level ginger beer for someone who doesn't want to burn their throat just yet. What makes this ginger beer unique is the sweet after taste. It's not in the ingredients, but a brown sugar sweetness lingers a little after some sips. It's a really nice contrast to the ginger.

Jason is on his way to Hawaii right now. I mention this because this drink is made in Hawaii, but I found it in a local Asian super market. I'm sure he'll be coming across all sorts of flavors of this brand.

It's been a while since I've drunk juice. I decided to forgo my usual morning coffee today, and instead drink this. Usually when I see the word nectar, I think "thick". I was pleasantly surprised that this was a light juice. It has a really great taste as well. The pineapple and orange are mixed really well. But at the end of the day, this juice isn't amazing. Can you really call something that is only 20% juice, juice?

While I can't be in Hawaii with Jason, I feel like this juice brings me a little closer.

If I was an expert on such things, and being a scientist I would say I am an expert on all things, I would say that jasmine tea is the cleanest of all teas. Per capita I bet jasmine has less dirt and filth on it than any other tea. Do a study on it I dare you! You can tell by the taste. It's a tea made for germaphobes.

This in particular is one of the best jasmine iced teas I've ever tasted. Most that I've come by have been unsweetened, which is all well and good. Honest decided to sweeten it ever so slightly with agave, my hats off to them for that. It's just a little, but it evens out the bitterness to a perfect degree. With every sip the floweriness of jasmine hits you first and then it passes the torch onto the bitterness of the green tea. If they ran a relay race they would surely win the gold.

The flavor is called "Jasmine Green Energy Tea" not only because of the caffeine in the teas used (to be honest this whole bottle has the amount of caffeine as half a cup of coffee), but also because the company donates money towards renewable "green" energy. I missed Earth Day by 19 hours with this, but I will pretend it's still going on.

I'm a stupid idiot. I don't like painted wood. Why did you install wood with it's nice grains if you were just going to paint it. I can't imagine how awesome my house would look if all the wood was stained instead of lazily painted white. So, since I don't like painted wood, and I own my own house, I took all of the doors off the hinges to strip them. Here's a question for the general public; Did you know that stripping wood is exhausting and tedious work and nothing about it is easy? I tried using stripping chemicals and they just kind of melted the paint. I am currently using a heat gun and it's working, but about two inches at a time. It's tiring and when I got done today, I looked through my stock of drinks and knew that I needed something refreshing. Water? Or juice? I saw that red bottle looking at me and I grabbed it. It was nice. A little sweet and a little flavored. More than a lot of the Hint stuff but still less than a juice that would be too sweet. This was good. It's super low in calories and you can slam it until your heart is content, or until it's time to go back out and scrape more wood. Me? I've got three full doors and one half of another one. I'm closer to starting than to finishing and that blows. Once again, I'm an idiot, but a quenched idiot.

It is over 60 degrees today in Portland and it feels great! The things I love about warm weather are all the delicious cool drinks there are for me to drink to help 'beat the heat'. One of my favorites is lemonade. Now I have had my fair share of lemonades over the years, and Natucket Nectar ranks up near the top. It had been a few years since I had drank a bottle so finding this at the Alberta Co-op today was a treat.

If I had to describe this in three words, it would be 'smooth, tart, and refreshing.' I can't find anything wrong with this. It's the perfect summer time lemonade. The lemon tart is perfect too, not over or underwhelming. Just perfect.

In about 14 hours I will be boarding a plane for a trip to Hawaii. Do you think I'm going to shut up about it in my reviews for the next week? I wouldn't hold your breath. In order to prepare myself for my adventures in the sun I'm drinking some nice lemonade (I really should have drank the pineapple one, but I think I'm going to be overdosing on that fruit very shortly).
The first thing I'm doing when I get to the island is to go hang out at the waterfall that is featured in Raiders of the Lost Ark. That's right I'm starting a bitchin' vacation with some Indiana Jones action.
As I drink this I'm closing my eyes and envisioning standing at the foot of the waterfall snapping a revolver out of someone's hand with a whip. Much like the lemonade itself, it's a pretty amazing vision. This is lemonade that tastes homemade. It's insanely tart almost to the point of drinking straight lemon juice. Luckily there's a decent amount of natural sugar in it to even that out. I never would have considered mixing orange juice in with lemonade, but luckily the fine folks at Calypso have a more open mind. The orange creates a nice accent. They were smart enough to put just a little in so that lemon is still the main flavor, with just a hint of its citrus brethren.

Yes I did just put the movie on after I wrote this. I'm getting way to excited. If there is really a cave by the falls my head is going to explode, and I will probably only be in Hawaii for an hour before I die from spiders, spike, pits or a giant boulder.

Dear Self,
I hate to be the one to break this to us, but we really just don't like the way ginseng tastes. Sure it's fine as a minor player in some drinks, but as soon as it steps into the limelight it all goes downhill. I know you're going to say it's not its fault. It's a root; of course it tastes like dirt. Then what about ginger? It's also a root and it's completely delicious. Ginseng is just a bad seed and I don't think we should hang out with it anymore.

Look what it did to this drink. It took a completely mediocre raspberry ginger ale and it made is associate (aka less than). It tastes like a run of the mill 2 liter of fruity ginger ale was strained through some dirt. What were they using it to pan for gold? Good luck with that.