Steak and dandelion sandwiches are something to be had. They have those little weeds, grilled and marinated and placed among a bed of delicious steak.

I don't know what Burdock is, but this drink tastes like someone put those fantastically delicious anise candies in a Dr. Pepper. It has a light taste with a heavy aftertaste. Heavy good like Heavy D and the Boys and to a lesser, but funnier extent, the Fat Boys. You know what? No. Fat Boys beats Heavy D and all of their boys. Go watch Krush Groove and tell me otherwise. Sbarro never looked so good.

We here at Thirsty Dudes love root beer. It's possibly our favorite beverage, and that is saying a lot. I've maybe tried a hundred different types of root beer and I've enjoyed almost all of them. I found this in a local specialty shop today. I was pretty pumped because their Puma Cola is fairly spectacular. On top of that, look at that combination of the crow and monkey creature on the label. It kind of reminds me of the racist crows from the old Loony Tunes cartoons. I'm going to assume it was not meant to be an homage.

So we've talked enough about the label, let's discuss the taste. I'm really not into it. When it first hits your taste buds it has a great classic root beer taste, then suddenly everything changes. Mike says it tastes like oak and that it's woody tasting. To me it tastes like someone spilled some cleaning solution into the vat of root beer. I kept on drinking, but I just can't get over that secondary flavor. Sorry Sprecher, you didn't do it for me this time.

I can't express how excited I was to get a package full of Smart Juice. So much soda and iced tea gets poured down our throats that it's nice to have a break to enjoy some natural juice. There are two ingredients in this bottle; Organic Pomegranate and Organic Purple Carrot Juice. I've said it before, but this is how juice should be made. Fruit doesn't need sweeteners added to it, and concentrate is just a cop out. Keep it whole. Keep it pure.

This is an intense juice. It's very strong. Mike Tyson strong. This juice could go for the belt and win it without trying much. I could see a lot of people wanting to water it down a bit to suit their tastes more. I applaud Smart Juice for giving us this pure 100% juice. Those of us who like it strong can enjoy it that way. The others can add their own water to dilute it. Pomegranate is the main force behind this powerhouse, but its sidekick purple grape sticks his head in there a little bit. You get a slight hint of carrot, but it's only recognizable as that if you really concentrate. These are the drinks us Thirsty Dudes need to keep up our health.

You know when you drink something and it has a very distinct taste, but when you look at the ingredients it's not there? That happened with this bottle. My first sip I got a really strong pancake syrup flavor mixed with the root beer. Thinking it was a fluke, I took another sip and it was more of a brown sugar taste. Turning the bottle to see the ingredients, i was shocked to not find brown sugar. There is honey and "real vanilla" in this bottle. The honey isn't overpowering, but it's a nice and subtle aftertaste. The vanilla helps this be one of the sweetest and smoothest root beer's I've ever had. While it's a nice and smooth root beer, I wish it had a little more bite to it.

Oh white tea you are so...what's the right word...dry(?) tasting. Whenever I have white tea it always feels like the moisture is getting sucked out of my tongue. I mean I don't feel like Ned Nederlander, but neither am I feeling like Dusty Bottoms in the desert canteen scene from Three Amigos. Seriously how great is that scene? Okay, entire movie? I would really like to shake John Landis' hand for casting those three fellas together. It's comedic gold!

Okay, so here I am slightly drying out my tongue as I drink this tea, trying not to get carried away on a childhood favorite of mine. Like the label says this is "Just a tad sweet." It's also just a tad flavored. You can taste the pomegranate, but it's the white tea that is the prominent flavor. I'm okay with that. I enjoy a tea that is more tea than fruit juice.

The trifecta combination of the white tea, pomegranate, and acai gives this beverage a crazy antioxidant property. Drink it for health, drink it for refreshment, drink it for taste, or drink it because you're in the desert and your canteen turns out to be full of sand. Just make sure you give it a try.

"Lip balm?"

I usually avoid drinks marketed to little kids. They are usually full of artificial flavors, high fructose corn syrup, and involve a straw or a spout to limit the amount of juice spilled onto Sponge Bob shirts. I found this drink at a store that specialized in interesting sodas. Normally I would have passed over the bottle in the corner store, but since it was among bottles of soda's not found in a normal store I decided to give it a try. Plus, I got a deal if I bought 24 drinks.

First surprising thing about this drink (besides the awesome shade of green): it has pure cane sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup. But further down the list there's also aspartame in it, which confuses me.

Second surprising thing: it actually tastes like lime. It's a tart lime. But in the end, it still tastes like a drink for kids. And I hate drinking out of spouts.

What a relief. After the dark chocolate debacle from a few weeks ago, I was anxious to find some redeeming product from Cell-Nique. This did it. Not a hard competition to have something better than "the worst" rating you can get but all the same, this isn't bad.

Let it be known, that this is probably a health food drink over a standard juice or whatever. It's sludgy, gritty, bold, and flavorful. It's pretty good, though. It's like an orange juice with vanilla in it, for some reason, and then some jerk threw a handful of (edible) sand in it. Cell-nique claims that it's like "A farmer's market in every bottle" and I might give it to him. I really feel like this is good for you and the thickness and color don't convince me otherwise.

This drink makes me happier to try the other flavors we have in stock. I'm finding it kind of fun and strange simultaneously to not have anything in my mouth, take a drink, swallow, and be left picking stuff out of my teeth with my tongue. It's an experience, I can tell you that much.

Beware cheap beverages with the price tag built into the design of the label. That is one thing I have learned from Thirsty Dudes. The only exception to this rule so far has been Arizona Iced Tea, but even most of them are on the low side of the tea spectrum. For the most part a cheap tea is still fairly decent. That same rule does not apply for soda. Cheap pop is just the pits. Towne Club Grape is a little better than most cheap soda, but not by much. It tastes like a syrupy version of melted grape freezie pops with a butt load of sugar added. I don't know who decided that this is what grapes taste like; because I can assure them they certainly do not.

You know we did this right, right? We're scientists. Jay and I are scientists. We bought a gnarly 6er of Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray, brought it back to Jay's cracked open a bottle and mulled it over. One single bottle was split between 6 people. It was like a drum circle if, instead of everyone playing at the same time and having it sound like cacophony, we each took turns expressing what it was this made us think of. Then it started to get weird. You see, this tastes 90%+ like celery. No lie. Just like sparkling celery. It's spot on. Couldn't taste more like it, if you ask me. The other ~10% is slight sweetness and maybe a hint of Sprite, according to my dad, who took part in version 2 of a 6 person taste test.

Here's where it got fun and experimental. Eating celery is awesome. All those negative calories and the added benefit of knowing you're going to have a clean digestive tract...what?!?!? Dan and I took it up a notch on the ol' belt of life and said, "Ants on a log!" and Jay was out of raisins, but was not out of peanut butter so we would eat peanut butter, take a swig of Cel-Ray and just smile. It was fun. It was a take on a classic kid treat.

I love ants on a log and I love Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray.

Sparkling Water and grape/orange/passion-fruit juices are the only ingredients in this drink. It's the way things should be sometimes. Although this tastes more like a tropical punch than the individual flavors that compose it, it still tastes completely natural. It's very obvious from the first sip that there is nothing fancy or chemically added to this for any reason. It's made for those that enjoy sodas, but for health reasons they don't drink them. I want fountains of the different flavors of this line flowing in my house at all times.

Oh, some cheap juice? Gross.

That's the old Mike. Now that I've drunk literally hundreds of different drinks from all over, I have to come back to drinks like this and give them a second shot. It's like the food critic that even though he eats at five star restaurants day in and day out, he still likes to go to Burger King because Whoppers are still friggin' delicious.

So Dan, knowing that I am on a real melon kick purchased this cat for me when he was in Ohio. On the front; watermelon and what I think is honeydew because it's green. Smell-wise, it's like a fruit punch in the nostrils. It's strong, but fruity as all heck. It's very inviting. So inviting that the slight HFCS sting doesn't keep you away for long. The flavor is somewhere in between a watermelon Jolly Rancher and some sort of melted melon-y freezie pop. It's pretty syrupy so anyone who is, I'm not going to censor myself here, a dick about corn syrup should just pass this one by. If you can man up for a second and give the inner-child in you a good time for once in your life, they'll thank you.

I did not know what to expect when I heard of MiO. I love the idea of having a drink mix in a super-concentrate and not having to fuss with powder. I don't hate powders, but from a practicality standpoint, it's easier to carry one thing than many things. Women, do you have purses? Carry this and don't carry 24 drink mixes around with you. Problem 1 is solved. Problem 2? Diet drinks are gross and often really gross. MiO scared me at first. It's a concentrate, so the flavor is concentrated, and you know what else is? The artificial sweetener. I didn't think that I was going to like it from the smell alone. I was still going to try it, obviously, but that caught me by surprise. Oh wait, I didn't solve problem 2. So I made the drink, and we at Thirsty Dudes don't mess around when it comes to mix drinks. We follow directions to a T so that it's easily reproducible. For this, I did the recommended "1 squirt" per 8oz. of water. It did not taste diet at all. There wasn't a hint of diet. It tasted like if you had juice, drank three quarters, filled the glass back up with water, and started re-drinking it.

I don't want to say that it tasted like weak juice; because here's the best thing about it...you can just add more mix. Oh, it's too weak? Add more mix. Done. It's completely customizable. You can mix flavors if you want. It could be good.

I like this as a product as I, as well as many others, wish that MiO had used Stevia or something natural since everyone is up in arms about chemical sweeteners. That being said, sucralose might have been a more disguise-able sweetener. Stevia might have had more sweetness that they didn't want. I'm sure they looked into it.

Look, this is clearly a well thought out product. It eliminates the need for many and consolidates into one easy to use, easy to travel, thing. It tasted good and I feel confident about the whole packaging not opening when it shouldn't do to a rather sturdy click.

This is a brand spanking new product and since it's not gross, even if you aren't on a diet, give it a try. I'm happy that Kraft and MiO took the time to send us some samples so that we could share this with you. I feel like we're breaking ground with crisp new, revolutionary products.

I feel like Indiana Jones with this drink. No lie. I had heard legends that it existed, but had never seen any proof. There were murmurs that it was at this store or that, but I would show up and there would be no truth to the stories. You see this drink came out a few years ago and was quickly pulled from the shelves by the creators, due to impending arrests. Why were there going to be arrests? It seems they were advertising on the can that this was a legal substitute for the illicit street drug of the same name. Of course this caused all sorts of rumors as to why it was pulled. Some said the level of caffeine being too high. Others claimed that there were trace amounts of cocaine in the drink. Rubbish. Things had been quite and I was settling down to a life of teaching drink archeology (I am a scientist after all). Suddenly it came down the wire from a reliable source that a tiny mini mart in the Black Rock section of town had a couple of cans. I jumped in my car with my own tiny version of "Short Round" (my girlfriend who was confused for a toddler earlier today while sitting in the back of a car) and we made our way across town. We dodged obstacles (construction and missing a turn) and made it to the store. We bounded through the doors and searched the coolers. Nothing. It seems I was misled again. Resigned to go back to teaching I sighed, turned around and started making my way towards the exit. Suddenly from the corner of my eye I notice a smaller, almost hidden, cooler by the register. There is an almost holy glow emanating from it. There before me was my Grail. I quickly grabbed a can and slammed it on the register. As the cashier and I exchanged currency for product I felt as if I was switching a bag of stones for my treasure. (Yes I know it wasn't the Grail he switched for his bag of stones.) As soon as the transaction was complete I was out the door for fear of giant boulders, or snakes.....I hate snakes Jock! Outside there was a whole mess of cop cars. (Yes I would say there was a plethora of them El Guapo...Sorry wrong movie.) Short Round Natalie and I dove in my car and got the hell out of there, before we could hear an officer proclaim "The drinks will be found! You won't!"

Back in the safety of headquarters I rounded up the troops and we cracked our treasure open. I took a big sniff of it. It was a formidable scent; it stung the nostrils. (Again, wrong movie.) There was also an undertone of strawberry. I took a big swig and the flavor was definitely strawberry. Suddenly one of the craziest burns I've ever experienced set in. It was like a ginger or a capsicum burn, similar to those in the Prometheus Springs beverages. People had described this drink to me in the past as drinking liquid razor blades. Although it did hurt, it was in a very good way. After passing it around Mike said it tasted like Faygo Red Pop. Dan said it tasted like red War Heads candy. They were both right. This is one of the craziest drinks I've ever had. It also is said to have 3.5x's the energy as a can of Red Bull. I don't think this beverage is anything close to being healthy for you, but it certainly is interesting.

*********************************************
This is the warning they put on the cans now to ensure there is no legal recourse:
This message is for the people who are too stupid to recognize the obvious. This product does not contain the drug cocaine (duh). This product is not intended to be an alternative to an illicit street drug, and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot.

I love them.

A review for this? Simple. This is the best diet cola I've ever had. This is also better than many standard cola's I've ever had, including, but not limited to, Coke and Pepsi. The cola taste is nice and clean and the Stevia sweetness accompanies it so nicely. Initially you get a solid, cola taste and then it's just the right amount of sweetness. It's never bad. There are no bad aftertastes or anything. I regret nothing! This is a cola that I could easily drink again and again and if more people caught word (hint hint) that this existed, no one would drink diet Coke or Pepsi any more. Seriously, it's that good.

Thomas Kemper. Spandau Ballet said it best. Gold.

Houston, we have a problem. We've been orbiting out here in space for a few weeks now and the most disastrous of problems has come to fruition. Houston we are out of Tang! How do you expect us to be proper astronauts without this life giving powder?

Buzz, we got you covered there. Head back to the cargo bay and pop open the container that is supposed to have your back up oxygen. There you will find a few cases of Asante Immune Mandarin Orange drink. It's basically pre-made Tang. It tastes like it was made from a powder and it's just an orange flavored drink. Now Buzz, I know you would have rung my neck if you had found out we had replaced your auxiliary oxygen with drinks, but aren't you thankful now?

........................

Buzz? Are you there Buzz! Oh no....looks like they ran out of oxygen. Oops.

This was actually one of the first drinks I reviewed for Thirsty Dudes, but somehow before the site went live the review got deleted. Here is a new review as I bought another can.

This is not carbonated which is weird for two reasons. 1. This is the only energy drink I've had that wasn't. 2. Things that come in skinny cans always seem like they should be.

Basically this is agave juice that has been transformed into an energy drink. It's really sweet, but in a non-offensive way, like a pure fruit juice.

If you're looking for an alternative to all the chemical energy drinks out there, give this a shot.

I like cola. This is a well-known fact. I also occasionally like cherry soda. Mixed together? Not so much. This soda wants to be two different flavors at once, and doesn't succeed at either. Maybe I'm just not the target demographic for this flavor? I wish Pepsi/other companies would try different fruits mixed with cola. Orange cola sounds amazing to me. Somebody (it doesn't have to be Pepsi), make it happen!

Things I like about this ginger ale:
I like the design of the can because it reminds me of a can that should have holes in it from some kid in 1950 using it for target practice with his BB gun that he just got for his eleventh birthday.

Things I don't like about this ginger ale:
It's safe.

The taste is that of a dry ginger ale. It's classic, and I'm sure, unchanged for decades. It's not like a Seagram's or a Canada Dry. It's much less sweet. The taste isn't bad either for that reason. As I mentioned previously, it's a bit safe for my liking.

Pep? I'm full of it. Piss and vinegar? Likewise. Hater of energy drinks? This guy. To come across a juice that is an all-natural energy drink kind of intrigued me. I bought it, took a sip, and pondered...why don't all energy drinks taste like this? Why do all energy drinks taste like someone cracked open a case of Smarties, mortar and pestled them, poured them into some already disgusting drink, and called it a day? Oh, you're surprised that I know what a mortar and pestle is? I'm also full of surprises.

This drink was more of a puree than a juice or an energy drink. For that, it was actually pretty nice. I like a nice, thick drink anyhow. The flavor wasn't bad, either. Fruity up front, and since it was Stevia, just a little sweet afterward.

All in all, I would say this was a success for Nestle and I hope that Jamba is more available to the general public. I'm not an energy drink convert, but this is cleverly disguised.

For the majority of my life I was under the impression that all colas tasted like Coke or Pepsi. As a result, I never really liked cola all that much. There was also a weird phase of my life where I wouldn't drink brown sodas. I really have no idea why. It was just something I did. Man, I can't believe I didn't drink root beer. It's one of the best things ever. It wasn't until relatively recently that I discovered a world of specialty colas. They taste nothing like the mainstream brands. They are to Pepsi and Coke what fancy root beers are to Mug and A&W. So many herbs and spices that take you on a wild ride of flavor. If you haven't had the Fentiman's Curiosity Cola or the Taylor's Tonics' Chai Cola put down your Coca Cola Classic and make a run for the store. It's a whole new world.

Natural Brew stepped up the cola game with their Chai Cola, and they have proved that it wasn't a fluke with this Ginseng Cola. It has an earthy taste, but it's in a good way and not in the way that tastes like it was filtered through worm ridden soil. A cola made with herbs and vanilla is a cola that I will certainly drink again and again.