Diet - 615 Reviews

Girlfriend, you know I love you. I know you, too, and I know that you like things that sparkle: diamonds, gems, rubies, and the lot. I can't wait until your birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, or even Sweetest Day to let you in on this secret, but I bought you something that sparkles. It's not much, but when I saw it I thought of you. Here, my baby. This is for you.

What do you mean "What is it?" It's sparkling lemonade. It's sparkles, like my girl. Go ahead. Taste it. What do you think? It's good, right? Yeah. Baby. That's right. It's good, right? Baby? Do you like it? What's that questioning look? Oh. It's that it wasn't jewelry. That's fine. Oh, you do like it. Great. It's pretty good. A little diet, yes. Your delightful little tongue is no liar. It's not a terrible lemonade flavor. It's not too bad. For only two calories it could surly be a whole lot worse.

So there you are, one bottle of a sparkling drink for my sparkling fiancè. You've earned it. Speaking of earning it, I believe that you mentioned something about a chocolate cream pie. I believe I am quite deserving of that.

Things are strange when you get a “diet” version of a drink that doesn't taste all too different from the original, and that certainly doesn't taste diet. This says it's lo-cal, the strange this is there isn't a no calorie sweetener in it. It still has evaporated cane juice in it. I'm assuming it's just a lower quantity of it. The drink does taste a lighter than the original, but I think it actually makes it more enjoyable. Acai can be one intense fruit, and here it's mellowed out. Natural energy that tastes decent. Well done Sambazon.

Ma'am, please. Get down here in the bomb shelter before another bomb goes off. Shut the door. We don't want any bad guys or shrapnel coming down here. This is a safe zone. You never thought you'd be in a bomb shelter, did you? Well, here beneath the Jewish school, we've been stocking up. Notice how we have separate shelves for meats and dairy. I'm not even Jewish and I can appreciate the orthodox nature of this organized bomb shelter. Sure, until the smoke clears, we won't be able to eat a cheeseburger or pepperoni pizza, but I can deal with it. We've got plenty of Twinkies and this canned hot chocolate. It's diet because if we lived off nothing but Twinkies, gelt, and non-diet hot cocoa, we wouldn't be able to make it up the stairs because we would have gained so much weight.

We've got like fourteen cases of this hot cocoa and eleven car batteries to run the microwave and space heater. Can I make you a can? Yes? Great. It will be ready in a minute.

Here you are. Piping warm. What do you think? Yeah, I got that, too. It's good at first and then gets really diet tasting. You always know that it's hot cocoa, but it's got a constant sucralose undertone. It's not bad. Sure, we've also got bottled water, but this is in a can, which I feel is chemical bomb proof. You know what? On second though, this might be harder than we thought. Why? Well...how to put this...they stocked the food, have blankets, batteries, water, but they're forgetting one thing. Toilets. There is nowhere to go to the bathroom and there is a concrete floor that is four feet thick so we can't even go in a hole. Looks like that room that you thought was yours is going to have a handful of pee corners. Sorry, ma'am.

A punch in the face: that's what I'm going to give you. You hit my brand new, 2001 Hyundai Accent and now I've got to get insurance involved...man. I just got out of the dealership. I know it's 2012, but it's new to me. Sure it's got 104,000 but that's just broken in. It's Korean and they make a quality product. So, to reiterate, I am going to make you black and blue.

No, you don't understand. I paid $800 for this car and sure it was a smoker's car and sure the transmission was a little wonky and sure it had a "Hatchet Man" vinyl graphic on the back hatch, but it was in great shape and the lady who sold it to me was so nice.

I'm sorry. Who did you say you were? You work for Sobe? Oh, your green tea is pretty sweet but a guilty pleasure of mine. Oh, that's right. You do make Lifewater. I've had some good ones of those. Black and Blue? No, I'm going to make you black and blue. Oh, you're going to give me a case of black and blue so that I don't punch your lights out. Alright, that's a fair trade. All this talking calmed me down anyway. Let's give it a go.

Well that's interesting. It's like blueberry when you sip it and when you swallow it tastes like a blackberry. That is real science there, Sobe man. There is a slight artificial sweetener taste, but it's just additional sweetness, not gross.

You know, this crash might have been the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, I do have a pretty great kid and wife, and I've accomplished a great deal. This was going to be a field car anyhow so I guess I didn't need it. Well, don't worry about anything. We'll let our insurance take care of it. Have a nice day, Sobe man. Next time, remember to stop at stop signs.

The journey has been long and hard. I've come so far that I never thought it would end like this. Here I sit bleeding out after some lame ogres performed a sneak attack on me. I can't believe I didn't see those big lunks coming. Seriously they are about as graceful as drunken elephants, yet they got the drop on me. I had so much gold that I could hardly carry it. Also, my weapons were at their highest level. Now it's all gone. I am going to die with nothing but the clothes on my back…€¦wait a minute! I totally forgot that I had stashed a vile of the essence of Mana in my boot. I took it out of my satchel because I was afraid my abundance of gold would crush it. I really thought I was going to need this when I fought the dark wizard, but if I don't drink it now I'm never going to make it to her lair anyways. Bottoms up. Oh my god this is horrible. I think perchance the keeper of the inn I stayed at a few nights ago switched out my Mana for some tropical flavored floor cleaner. The taste is something I would associate with a fluid that would burn on the way down, yet it is smooth. Smooth and horribly gross. It looks like I am going to die after all, and now with the taste of foolishness in my mouth. What's this? I can feel something surging in me. My wound seems to be healing and my strength is returning. Mana may taste like garbage, but it sure is doing its job correctly. I feel better than I have in years. The energy coursing through my veins is unstoppable. Now I'm off to find those ogres and crush some skulls to get my gear and riches back.

I accidentally purchased this. I just looked quick and thought it was the non-diet version. Oh well. I'm not a huge fan of black cherry sodas, nor do I like diet drinks. Give me a came sugar “regular” cherry soda any day. Oh that would be nice right now. Instead here I sit with aspartame and my friend's darker cousin. Wow, that sounded racist.

If this wasn't diet, I actually think I would really enjoy it. It has actual cherry juice in it, which is a rarity in the world of sodas. It starts you off with a nice sweet fruit flavor, but unfortunately the devil's sweetener calls for a mutiny and the flavor is upset into a gross diet aftertaste. It's still decent and I would choose this over most diet drinks. It's also kosher, so if you're Jewish the doctor says, “You're welcome.”

It's Groundhog Day. You've run into Ned Ryerson more times than you can even remember. The same goes for that ungrateful brat who keeps falling out of the tree. The perpetual winter has got you down, so very down. You've learned piano like a pro. You've creepily stalked the girl you like to find out every last detail about her, in order to finally win her over. You've done everything you could think of, but you're still in a rut. You blame the constant grey skies that plague your eternal life. To try to combat this you start taking vitamins and working out. It actually works. You start to feel better about yourself and life in general. You're beginning to have a more positive out look because you're no longer a lazy slob. It feels great to be in good shape. The only problem is that you get so darn thirsty when you work out and the water in this town just doesn't cut it. You read that coconut water is good for replenishing electrolytes. The local health store only carries one brand and one flavor. Oddly enough it's called O.N.E. The flavor that you are stuck forever is grape berry. At first you don't really like it. It has a strange harshness to it that is not quite the same harshness as grape juice. The more you drink the more you become accustomed to it. You realize that it tastes like watered down grape juice with a tinge of berry thrown in. It shouldn't be good at all, but it is and it's refreshing. After a couple of sips you no longer even notice the flavor of the coconut water. All you taste is watered down grape juice with a slight stevia aftertaste. It's not great, but it will do the job. It's too bad that you'll never be able to get the shop to order other flavors for you because the day of their arrival will never come.

If you would like one of the greatest comedic movies of our time to be turned into a tragedy for you read this article. The folks at What Culture use science to determine that Bill Murray's character was stuck in the same day for 33 years and 358 days. As we learn in the movie he has tried to kill himself several times. Who could blame him?

The zero calorie Cascade Ice drinks are basically just flavored seltzer water. The 2-calorie version on the other hand is lightly sweetened with sucralose. It's not enough for it to taste overly diet. Actually, this is the least diet tasting diet drink I have ever tasted. It actually is made with pink grapefruit juice concentrate, which gives it an authentic grapefruit taste. The artificial sweetener makes sure that it's not overly bitter like straight grapefruit juice would be. This also has an incredibly strong grapefruit scent to it. I enjoyed this way more than anyone would have expected.

Years ago while strolling down Mission Street in San Francisco my traveling companions and I were trying to decide where we should get burritos. The number of “Mexican” restaurants on that street alone is staggering. Since we knew we only had enough room in our stomachs for one burrito we needed to make it count. I heard the sound of kids skating, and when I looked over at them I saw one of the most glorious sites of my life. On a building someone had drawn a mural of a sombrero wearing chili pepper with a gun chasing a hard-shell taco wearing glasses. I instantly busted out laughing. I pointed it out to my friends, and we went inside. Coming from the northeast I will always appreciate when I can get some authentic Mexican food. This taqueria served the best burritos I've ever tasted. On top of that they were huge and only $3. After we left my friend Gak informed me that hard-shell tacos did not exist in Mexico and they were a “gringo” thing. I previously had no idea, but that made me love the mural even more.

As soon as I read this label I instantly thought of those burritos. The label says, “Hecho en California por gringos!” It also says, “Pierda peso carbon!” which roughly translates to “lose weight bastard!” Basically it's saying that gringos can't handle the real deal Mexican Cola, so here's a light version of it to help them lose weight because they are all fat. It sounds about right to me. I'm normally not a fan of diet sodas, but it looked interesting so I gave it a try. I wish the flavor had been as interesting as the taunts. This tastes like your everyday diet cola. There is no kick to it at all. If I did a blind taste test between this and any store brand diet cola I doubt I would be able to decide which was which.

Now I'm just thinking about burritos. I wish I was a flight attendant so I could just hop on a plane to the west coast right now to get some quality burritos. Man, that would be the life.

The thing I hate about Vitamin Water is my intake of stale vitamins. There's nothing worse than taking a nice big gulp of a cool refreshing beverage and getting a mouthful of old vitamin. This is apparently what Activate wants you to think. I don't know if it's even possible for vitamins to go stale, and it has never affected the taste of my Vitamin Water, but I do like the novelty of the Activate line.

These drinks come in two parts; a bottle of water that is sweetened with stevia and a cap full of powdered vitamins. You twist one part of the cap and the vitamins drop into the water, which you then shake up. The idea is that the vitamins are healthier because they are fresh. Aren't the vitamins the same age whether they already come in the water or not? I suppose it doesn't really matter, it's still fun.

This tastes like what a modern grandmother would have for breakfast. Every morning my grandmother would cut a grapefruit in half and dust it with sugar, then chow down with the tiniest knife and spoon I have ever seen. I think she may have stolen them from some tiny race of people in the forest, but I can't be sure. So yeah, I can only assume a more health conscious modern grandmother would dust her grapefruit with stevia. If you ate said grapefruit right after eating your chewable kids vitamins, then took a sip of water then you would know exactly what this drink tastes like. The flavor is light and faint. The stevia is there, but not overpowering. Just like it should be. Well played activate. Now I just need to see if your vitamins really are fresher and healthier, or if you're just a big stupid liar head.

Remember that scene in Better Off Dead where Booger, or whatever his name is in that movie, you know who I'm talking about, is on the top of the mountain, probably the K2 when he says that the snow is like cocaine and snorts it? For some reason that's what I think of when I have powder drinks.

This is such a step in the right direction I don't know where to start. Flavors roll call! Orange. Blackberry. Passion fruit. Bam. Delicious cubed. Also, you can taste the Reb-A a little bit but it's mostly real sugar, good sugar, and awesome fruit flavors. Low calories. This is such a win in my book and like I said, a step in the right direction. A low calorie drink using natural sweeteners with delicious fruit flavors that doesn't suck and doesn't taste like it's diet and all that other stuff. Great.

I always forget I love chai tea until I'm at a coffee shop and a friend offers me a sip of theirs. I never order it because I love coffee too much. I probably haven't had more than a sip of chai tea in over 10 years. This is the first iced chai tea I've ever had, and I really enjoy it. It's not as sweet as a coffee shop chai tea, but it has a lot of flavor while still being a light drink. I would drink this all the time if I could.

Lemon-lime sodas are generally pretty substandard in my book. If there is a big cooler full of random sodas the lemon-lime would be the last one I picked. It's not bad, but it's just kind of there. It's rare that any of them really even taste any different. That apparently goes for the diet variety. This is diet lemon-lime and the flavor only slightly differs from the regular variety. It tastes like fake lemon and lime with some sweetener added. The aspartame doesn't have an overly diet taste at all. Normally that would be awesome and I would be super pumped. Too bad it's a flavor of soda I would never want to drink, diet tasting or not.

Water is great. It's super refreshing and I drink it all the time unlike some people I know. A lot of people hate that water tastes like nothing, so that's where companies like MiO come in. The tag line on this little bottle says it all, it's a "liquid water enhancer". Unlike other varieties of MiO, this also has caffeine in it so it turns your water into delicious energy water.

Let's be honest, most energy drinks are gross. Sure we have found a few that are good, but for the most part they are vile things in a can. Most are also carbonated, and I'm not always in the mood for a carbonated drink. As far as energy drinks go, this is one of the best I've ever had. The black cherry taste is delicious and sweet. I know they recommend only using one squirt per 8 oz glass but I put a little extra in because I really like the strong cherry taste.

Now I don't recommend this to other people, but in the name of science I squeezed some of this straight into my mouth. It was INTENSE! It is concentrated for a reason, because drinking it straight is like taking a shot of liquid caffeine. It instantly woke me up. I'm really glad Kraft sent these to us to sample because I never knew a delicious energy drink could come in such a small bottle.

James, it's great to see you. How was space? Great? Did you play golf in space? Man, I would have driven the ball all the way to earth and then, somehow, watch it burn up on re-entry. Oh, the thought of that gets me so pumped. So, space. That must have been awesome. Really? No cheese. Well, the pamphlets they are handing out down here on earth are telling me otherwise. It's Swiss, but it's space cheese nonetheless.

Woah! What is this? Really? Gifts, from space? Oh, gifts from NASA. Cool, but honestly, space gifts sounds a lot better. I guess NASA gifts would be of better quality since there is nothing in space, apparently, except space rocks. Really though? Not one moon rock? You brought me official NASA dried fruit. That's cool. What am I supposed to do with this? Oh, mix it in with this space water you gave me? What are these, strawberries and apricots? Awesome. Let me mix it here. Oh, this is delicious. You know what, though? It just tastes like Sobe Lifewater. It's better the more I drink it. No one uses apricots and I cannot appreciate these space dried ones more. Strawberries? I have had these and they are delicious, but I've had them. I appreciate them, but I've had them. I enjoy the erythritol sweetness and the fifty-fifty strawberry/apricot mix. This is good, dude. Thanks. I can buy it mostly anywhere as, like I said, Sobe Lifewater, but this being space juice makes it so much better. Thank you very much.

Woah! You brought me a Fisher Space Pen from NASA, too? This is the pen that writes upside down! Awesome. I'm sorry that I gave you such a hard time about that moon rock and space cheese stuff. This is a great gift.

File this under the list of drinks that kids love to buy just because of the name. See also Fukola, Cocaine and Not See Kola. I'm sure this drink is "banned" from high schools all over the country. I don't think it should be banned because of the name, but the taste. I really liked the original version of this, but this sugar free variety is gross. I have been drinking a lot of diet drinks lately, and this is one of the worst I've had in a while.

When I was working at Fun Fun Fun Fest, someone came up to me and asked if I wanted a B12 shot. I said sure and followed them to the production trailer. When we got inside, I saw a doctor pulling needles out of a bag. When they said B12 shot, I thought they meant a drink like this. I hate needles so I opted out and went back to work.

Going in, I wasn't crazy about this flavor. I love pomegranate but HATE acai with a passion. I think it's one of the grossest tastes ever. That being said, this isn't as bad as I feared. It still has that gross flavor, but the pomegranate helps. It's not the most intense energy shot I've ever had, but that's probably because it's meant to be a vitamin shot, and the energy is just a secondary feature.

Blackberry and blueberry? Is there a line that I can draw a giant, red "x" on because I want it. Oh, I can simply pay a little more than $2 and buy it? I suppose that is just as easy. Mix in water? Childs play. No problem. I can mix stuff and remember not to breath while the deadly fruit dust occupies my nasal cavities.

Oh...hold on a second here. What went wrong? Sixteen ounces of water, check. Mix, check. Mixed, check. Clean glass? Check. What's the deal? It smells great. Inviting. I keep going back for more but why? It has a bit of a bitter taste to it. It tastes like water first, or just wildly weak juice, which is strange, then like a sucralose taste, even those there aren't any unnatural sweeteners. I'm counting Stevia as a natural sweetener here, folks. It's almost bitter and it is not until the end when you get a woosh of fruit and cool Stevia sweetness. Yes, the final battle is worth coming back for more and I have almost finished my entire glass, but at what cost?

If you are down with diet drinks, this will be an easy fight for you. If you, like me, saw a naturally diet drink mix that comes in delicious flavors and think that you are on to something, you are only half right.

It's an important day. You need to be at the top of your game. You need a drink that will not only refresh you but also boost your focus, energy and stamina. There is going to be a lot of battling going on and there is a good chance things could get brutal. Lucky for you that O.N.E. has released an active line of their coconut water. It's fruity, sweet and tastes decent. You know you have a decent drink on your hand when you drink have a carton, and then you are shocked to discover that it is sweetened with stevia. Now that I know I can taste it, but I never would have guessed before I read it. Cranberry and grapefruit make a great team. Other companies should really pick them for their hypothetical touch football teams.

Now I know what you're thinking; how did the big day pan out? More importantly, what did the big day entail? Well I will tell you, the big day was going with my friend so that he could go to adopt a cat. Seems dumb right? Why would anyone need any of the skills I mentioned just to go to a car adoption center? The answer is that I have a problem with cats. I fall in love with every cat that I see and I want to bring them all home and live in a house with a million cats that will follow me around everywhere. Yes I am crazy, but I also understand the disgusting aspect of that. I don't want to smell like a million cats. We went in, hung out with a bunch of cats. I fell in love at every turn. Specifically a huge fat cat named Pauly took a firm grip of my heart. I was inches from adopting him. The lady even tried to give him to me for free. He is eight years old and has a deviated septum so he makes the worlds most hilarious noises. I stood strong though and remembered how needy my cat Manny is and how she would hate me if she had to compete for my attention more. I sadly left Pauly and about 40 other cats behind. My friend, he got an adorable little kitty with a mustache that is now named Natas (so very nearly called Patricia Aracat).

Thank you O.N.E. for helping me keep my head, and therefore keep my household down to two humans and two felines.

Jimmy was a huge Rage Against The Machine fan. He got into them when he was in high school. Right around the time Evil Empire came out. He thought every other band paled in comparison. He loved them so much; he got "Bombtrack" tattooed in old English on his stomach. All of his friends tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen.

When RATM reunited last year, he booked the first ticket to LA he could. There was no way he was going to miss this show. He also brought along a case of these Rage energy shots. He thought the band secretly endorsed it. The company even sent them a copy of their masthead to prove Zach De La Rocha didn't have a hand in their product, but he still thought it was true. He thought this all the way until he met Zach before the concert.

Being the crafty person he is, Jimmy found out where the band was eating before the show and introduced himself to them mid burrito. He told them how big of a fan he was, showed them his tattoo, and then asked if they would sign his box of energy shots. Zach laughed and told him, just like everyone else, that they had nothing to do with the company and refused to sign it. He then went on some diatribe about the indigenous people of Canada (where the drink is made), but Jimmy was in tears and ran out. His dreams had been shattered.

What better way to drown those tears than to drink the entire case of Rage energy shots. One after another, he drank them. Each one tasting just like the last did, fruit punch Kool Aid energy drink. The taste never changed, and never left his mouth for months after that night. He also had a heart attack from all that caffeine.

So let that be a lesson for everyone. Rage Against The Machine would never own an energy drink company, and don't ever interrupt Zach De La Rocha when he's eating a burrito.