Diet - 615 Reviews

You'd think at 3:30am I should be reviewing one of the many relaxation drinks in my queue. Nope, not tonight. I have a lot of work to do in the next 36 hours so I'm going to power through the night at work. In order to do this, I need energy obviously. That's where this wonderful little bottle comes in. I went with a Cintron energy shot tonight because they have a good track record of making delicious drinks. This isn't ground breaking, but it's definitely good as far as energy shots go. The mango flavor is nice, but the citrus mixed with the energy flavor leaves a bad aftertaste. Luckily the bottle is all gone now and I'm already feeling more energized. Back to work I go!

Toronto is a big city, which means it can be very exhausting when you walk everywhere because you think the exercise would be better than public transportation. I have nothing against the bus, or subway, but I know that starting in a week I'm going to be sitting in a van all day on tour, so I should get my exercise while I can. After a day and a half of nothing but walking and eating I decided to try this energy shot out. It tastes like a harsh lemon lime Gatorade. The harshness is due to all the concentrated energy junk that's in it. It's not as harsh as most though, and it kept me trekking for the next couple of hours.

I've got to get this off the docket immediately. Blueberries, although blue on the outside, are purple. If I had a handful of blueberries and threw them at Andrew WK's crisp white shirt, not only would I be a jerk, but his shirt would have purple on it, not blue. Why do I bring this up? Well friends, this Gatorade might be the most insincere color of all time. It's toxic blue. It's windshield/windscreen washer blue. To add insult to injury, pomegranates most certainly aren't blue. The color of this drink, to me, is unnecessary and brings me to another point; why do we need to color drinks anyhow? Color doesn't mean flavor. Plus, don't those dyes cost money? Save money and I'll drink clear drinks all day. I don't care about it. I will go as far to say that I don't need purple carrot to color my organic drinks. Let the cards fall as they may. If a drink is off white, I don't care. If a drink is brown, I don't care. I know it's a way to distinguish the different flavors and if I see a red drink, it's probably cherry or strawberry. You feel me, dogg?

Flavor is like any other Gatorade, which is surprising because this is low calories and I can't tell the difference. Kudos for that. I can't say that I taste really any distinguishable blueberry or pomegranate. Maybe, if I'm pushing it and Gatorade comes to my house and puts a gun to my head I would say that I might taste some blueberry. If Gatorade does come to my house, I hope they bring that purple "Rain" flavor because that is delicious.

Gatorade, why don't you come out with a clear line of sports drinks? You could market it like, "These colors don't run, but you do." or "We don't see color, we only see results." or the less popular "These drinks are color blind but they're help you train for the air force."

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,
It has come to our attention that people are becoming annoyed at the constant layout changes you've been making to The Facebook. I'm sorry, I was just told Justin Timberlake told you to drop the 'The' and it's now called just 'Facebook'. Anyways, if you don't do something drastic and awesome soon, I think people are going to jump ship and join Google + more rapidly. Sure you could clean up the layout, make privacy settings better, and a whole slew of other things, but I have a better idea!

An energy drink! Kids these days love energy drinks. Have you seen the energy drink sections at corner stores lately? It's bigger than the juice section! So you get this energy drink in the hands of kids and they will be so wired and hyperactive they will want to post a million photos and status updates.

Ready to hear the name I thought of? You're going to love it: Facedrink. Isn't it great!? What's that? Oh.... apparently there is already an energy shot called Facedrink. Its tag line is "the social drink". Hmmm, well great minds think alike I guess. Lemme give it a try. Not bad at all! Most energy shots are gross, but this one is pretty good. I already feel energized and ready to post about this on Facebook. See! It's working already and I'm not even the target demographic.

Sincerely,
Derek

We were privileged to be given an advance taste of this drink. Apparently Europe has not allowed companies to have drinks on the market with stevia in them yet so they sent us a bottle of it without the label. This is the same Oggu 100% Organic Cola we have already reviewed, but sweetened with stevia. I loved the original so I was excited to try this low calorie version.

My thoughts are as follows: it's good, but not as good as the original version. It has the same complexity as the one sweetened with cane sugar, which is great. The stevia is throwing me off though. It's not as bad as most diet drinks, but I've definitely had ones that mask the stevia taste better. If Oggu is trying to be a competitor to drinks like diet coke and diet Pepsi, they will win hands down! But, this isn't as good as the cane sugar version of their delicious cola.

You've got your best suit on and you're ready to go. It's your big day. You've got an interview at a publishing house and this is your opportunity to get out of this town. You board the train into the city and when the snack cart rolls by, you are feeling thirsty and decide to grab something to drink. You scramble through your briefcase, which you bought just for this interview because, you know, big city people carry a suitcase. You scrounge enough money to buy a Sobe Lifewater and since you're aggressively trying to get a job, you decided on the black cherry dragonfruit. Dragons don't ask questions. Dragons are closers. Who gets to drink coffee? Coffee is for closers. A.B.C. Alec Baldwin is your new spirit guide for the rest of the long train ride into the city.

You drink this drink and it's good. It's light and has a bit of a bitter erytritol taste, but you're on your way to be an adult and you can deal with a little bitterness. For the first time with a dragonfruit drink, you can actually taste it, and that pleases you because you've only had one once at an exotic fruit taste test party at a rich friend's house. What a night. Kumquat, dragonfruit, pomegranate, and the like. A night you will not soon forget.

You take the last sip and when you throw the bottle in the garbage can, the cap comes loose and spills purple juice on your crisp white shirt. You can cover most of it in your suit coat so you decide that is all you can do and you go into the interview. You talk to the CEO of the company for over an hour and things are going great. As you stand to leave, you shake his hand and he takes one last look at you and sees the newly acquired stain. He asks you what it is and since you don't want to start off on a bad foot by lying to your potential boss, you tell him that you were enjoying a Sobe Lifewater and when you threw it out, the cap flew off, spilling some on your shirt. He laughed and took his jacket off. Under the jacket lied over a dozen stains. "This is mustard and this one is ketchup. Over here we've got both black and blue ink. On the back, you've got chocolate and here on my arm is pizza. You're going to fit in great. I'll see you next Monday. Congratulations."

I didn't even have to open this to determine what it would taste like. The can is obviously trying to replicate Monster energy drinks so I was guessing that the insides were as well. I assumed correctly because this tastes just like the low carb Monster: melted candy with a diet energy drink aftertaste. Not bad per se, but not groundbreaking. This should try and find its own energy identity and stop trying to emulate one of the best out there.

Have you heard, Ghostbusters has gone "green." For years they were able to get around all of the E.P.A. laws because they were the only company in the game of keeping NYC's ghosts (I wonder if they were in the inspiration for the
Sonic Youth record) off the streets and in a containment unit where they belong. These days the laws have gotten stricter and they were forced to give in.

This one was Egon's brainchild. He teamed up with Gatorade and worked out a formula that would convert all of their leftover ectoplasm into a tropical tasting sports drink. He came up with the idea when he noticed that Louis Tully always got a second wind whenever he got "slimed." He's normally an accountant/lawyer and is not even close to being in good shape so dragging his proton pack around the city really put a drain on him. He would be dead on his feet and then without fail some ghost would slime him and within seconds he'd be up and running again. After a few quick tests Egon realized that ectoplasm was really 67% electrolytes. He isolated an isotope or two and before he knew it he had a tasty drink on his hands. The only downfall was that it remained a toxic looking green. Let's face it though a lot of the Gatorade flavors are fairly neon in color.

Egon, who is ever the health nut, sweetened the newly transformed ectoplasm with sucralose to try and keep the overweight citizens of New York in check. Gatorade put up a stink, claiming that it tasted too diet, so he ended up adding some sucrose to it as well. The result is a light fruit punch tasting drink that only has the faintest tinge of a diet flavor too it. Now hopefully the public won't freak out when they realize they are essentially drinking ghost poop.

Energy drinks are getting too extreme these days. Between the Redline review Derek did yesterday and this I think one of us is going to have a heart attack.

I have a bad habit of drinking something first and then reading everything on the packaging after I'm done. Luckily I did not do that with this because there are a bunch of warnings on it to read the label before use. It also says "Not for sale to minors" on it a bunch of times, so you know things are serious. I feel like teenagers are the prime market for most energy drinks, so when they exclude them you know it has to be powerful. The bottle informs me not to drink more than 6oz in an eight-hour period. I think I accidentally drank about 8, and I sure can feel it. Like to the point where I kind of want to throw up to purge my body of the poison.

As far as taste goes, it tastes like a diet Gatorade or something of that ilk. Not a flavor I'm fond of, but what do you expect with a diet drink. It doesn't have as much of a "energy chemical" taste as I would have expected seeing as it's ridiculously concentrated.

I can't really get behind this drink. When I drink an energy drink I do it for a little push to help me stay awake, or if I'm going to be doing strenuous activity. I like to not notice it much. This is jitter central. I wish I could undo drinking so much.

I was scared to drink this. I was recommended to try this out by my friend Mike Soto, because he said it was the most intense energy drink he has ever had. Challenge accepted! I finally came across it in a gas station in Bloomington, IN. I was feeling pretty tired before I started drinking this so we'll see how it goes.

Observation one: It's clear and non-carbonated. This is unusual among energy drinks. I've had plenty of non- carbonated ones, but I don't recall any clear drinks. It's nice because it means that they didn't add any unnecessary coloring.

Observation two: Terrifying reviews online. I came across this Amazon review that was titled 'You might die!'. This freaked me out a bit. I have definitely had my fair share of energy drinks over the years, but only once has my heart actually hurt from them. It was when I stayed up all night before an 8-hour shift at work and I ended up drinking five energy drinks in the course of 12 hours. It was not a pleasant experience and I have never done anything that stupid again.

Observation three: There is a gauge on the side of the bottle. Yes, to make sure you don't drink too much in one sitting (you're only recommended to drink half of the 8oz bottle at a time), they have a gauge to let you see where the drink level is at. On top of this, there are warnings ALL OVER the bottle. They all say "CAUTION, read label before drinking". I have drank about 1oz so far and I'm already really energized.

Observation four: It tastes good! Really good actually. It doesn't taste like an energy drink at all, especially not a diet one. It's like a slightly thicker berry vitamin water with more flavor. Trying to determine the flavor I ended up drinking another 2oz. Uh oh...

Observation five: This drink is intense!! In the name of science (reviewing drinks is a science, right?), I decided I needed to drink the entire serving of 4 oz to properly review this. Let's just say, this REALLY works. I feel more awake than I ever have been in my entire life. The term "hyper aware" comes to mind. The way I feel right now is what I imagine cats feel like when they see something flying in the air and their heads jerk back and forth really quickly. This is easily the most effective energy drink I have ever consumed. At the same time, I would be terrified to drink this whole bottle in one sitting.

An open letter to pears everywhere:

Dear pears,
I'm sorry that I crap on you all the time. No, not literally. That would be a sight to see, though, wouldn't it? Me sitting over a bushel of pears, letting them have it. No, I am sorry that I call you "crappy apples" all the time. I complain, but it's really my way of saying that I want you to be better. Creative criticism, if you will. I have just tried your collaboration with the apples of Fuji and now I've got to say, you two are great together. A dynamic duo, like Batman and Robin or any other superhero and sidekick. This drink is sweet and apple come out and pear comes out and everyone plays together in the flowered plains called my mouth. It's not too sweet and although this is technically a "diet" drink, the Erythritol isn't overpowering and leaves me with a cool sweetness, as it often does.

In closing, you have done a great job with your friend, Dr. Fuji Appleton. I am sorry for all the guff I give you. You do have many appreciative friends who enjoy you, and it's one of those "you can't win them all." scenarios. I am one man and am clearly outnumbered. I just wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt with this drink because you truly are amazing.

You know when you have weird connections to things and no matter how hard you try to disassociate them? I have one with Rockstar energy drinks. Anytime I see one of their cans, "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill pops into my head. Not just a quirky "oh remember the 6 months that song was played everywhere?" type of thing. Nope, it starts playing in my head starting with the chorus. I can honestly say it's been over 7 years since I have heard that song. My brain is an iron trap for music and in cases like this, I hate it so much!

So when I grabbed this can from the gas station, the song started playing in my head as per usual. Luckily, "Till the World Ends" by Britney Spears was playing inside the store and I was able to drown out Cypress Hill. (Yes, I like catchy dance pop like Britney Spears, so what?). Upon opening it I remembered the other reason I don't like Rockstar energy drinks: they are gross. This is just generic citrus flavor with a really strong energy drink taste. I've lucked out and haven't had many gross energy drinks lately so I forgot how bad that energy drink taste can be. After a few sips, I could feel my throat swelling up a little. It's as if my throat is talking to my tongue and wants me to stop drinking it. Gladly!

Without. The name of this drink means without. They mean without calories, but I think a lot of people would take it as they could do without this drink at all. That is because most people have no time for diet drinks. Let's talk frankly here diet is pretty gross. You have to condition yourself to alternatives to sugar. It's as if you're basically killing the taste buds that register the grossness of it. I was in the anti-diet drink camp for most of my life, but in the pursuit of reviewing everything ever I've grown accustomed to them. As a result I do not fall in the "sans this drink" crowd. It's actually a decent diet soda. It's nice and light. It does have a diet flavor too it, but it's not as overpowering as it could have been with an artificial sweetener. Rebiana is way better than aspartame or sucralose. It's natural which means that there is a chance you won't get cancer from it. No one likes cancer. Even cancer doesn't like other cancer, let alone itself.

The packaging makes this drink look like it's going to be ice cold. Like when mints have that weird coldness to it. I didn't expect it to be minty, but I hoped it would have the same freezing effect. It ended up just tasting like a regular diet energy drink. When Dan first opened it and took a sip he said it was pretty gross. I expected the worst, but it tasted fairly average to me. Underneath all of that chemical energy it took a second for my taste buds to register that it was even diet.

In the end this is one of the best diet energy drinks that I've tried. With no sugar or calories it's also probably one of the "healthiest" I've ever had as well. To be fair neither of those are really that crazy of achievements.

Wilson Farms is the local convenience store chain in the Buffalo area. They are so prevalent that it sometimes seems like they are on every corner. Like most corner stores, they have lots of things you could get at a grocery store but they charge more for the "convenience". The only exception to this is that they have their own line of soda.

At 99 cents a 2-liter, it's a much better deal than Coke or Pepsi. But like most things, you get what you pay for. It's a really bland diet cola with more of a aspartame taste than others. Some people might think it tastes "close enough" to Diet Coke, but I'll pass on this in favor of the top shelf stuff from now on.

Sometimes drinks speak to me. No, not in a crazy way. Sometimes I see a drink and I just have to have it. This, for some reason, I had to have. I grabbed it, threw it on my shelf only to completely forget about it for about two weeks. Today, while picking my drinks for the day, I came across it and thought, "Oh yeah. I really wanted this." so in the bag and to work it went.

On first sip, it was very Stevia-esque. On second sip, I could start tasting what was supposed to be happening. Are you a graphic designer? Sure you are. Everyone and their brother is a graphic designer. As soon as you touch MS Paint (or Mac equivalent) and design your first birthday card, you say to yourself, "This is all a graphic designer does? Well, looks like I am going to design my album art for my band The Death Of A Thousand Suns Birthday." This drink is a gradient if I've ever tasted one. It does start out very Stevia, but then it slowly fades into a passion fruit that is actually quite nice. The green tea doesn't really come out to play for me.

I'm interested to see what else Honest does in this "zero calorie" line. I like a range of their drinks and am always game to try new ones.

Nothing says fitness like chocolate fudge. You know that you like to work on your abs for about forty minutes and then head on down to the local chocolatier and ask for a pound of fudge to make everything go to its intended place. I read in a book once that if you do squats in the gym and then eat a quarter pound of rocky road fudge, it does more than eating one dozen chickens. Whole chickens. Feathers, feet, and all. Just a quarter pound of it. Scientists don't agree because they think that a couple hundred scientific tests prove otherwise.

Myoplex, a group of half scientists, half chocolate enthusiasts, half R.C. enthusiasts, have fix this age old question by making a protein drink that tastes like chocolate fudge. Sure, it's a little chalky and tastes diet, but it tastes like diet, chalky, chocolate fudge. You're on a diet. You're working out like crazy. All you've eaten the last few months have been bean sprouts and broccoli and now, for an unlimited time, you can finally re-taste the smooth, elegant taste of chocolate without any of the hassle of guilt.

I have to drink more water. It's a fact. You might need to, also. I'm looking out for your health. It's good for you. Drink more water.

Now that me educating you on the basics are done and out of the way, we can get to the nitty gritty. Side fact: if all water tasted like sweet tea, had no calories, and was as plentiful as water, there would be no war, no crime, no funny business. Everyone would just be high-fiving everyone, kissing everyone on the cheek like some fancy European country.

This Mio isn't half bad. I drank a large and a half glass last night and was pleasantly surprised. It was slightly diet, but it's a diet drink. I don't want that to dissuade you. It's not gross. It is closer than many sweet teas I've drank that aren't diet, aren't concentrate, and come highly recommend.

Think of it as a diet sweet tea. It's a getting a thumbs up from me.

Matt loves going to dance clubs. He loves dancing so much that he weaseled his way into a job as a bar back at his favorite club in town, Blue Monday. Yes, they are so original that they named themselves after New Order's most well known song. They even host "New Order Mondays". It's pretty absurd if you ask me, but the kids seem to like it.

Another interesting thing about Matt is he's straight edge. He gets made fun of a lot for being around alcohol all day long, but he doesn't care. His love for dancing overrides his distaste for alcoholic drinks. Since he's been working at Blue Monday for so long, they started taking his suggestions for non-alcoholic drinks to stock. The owner was pretty loyal to Red Bull for a while, but when Matt told him there was a line of energy drinks called "Blu", he jumped for joy. Literally, he leapt into the air. I wasn't there, but I know the bartender on at the time and he said it was really weird.

A few weeks later they got their first shipment of Blu energy drinks. It was a huge success. The post-ironic crowd the club drew loved the idea of drinking Blu energy drinks, inside of a club called Blue Monday, while the song "Blue Monday" by New Order was playing. Occasionally they'd also play "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65 to mix things up a bit. It was really gross.

Last time I was there was for the opening day of New Order November (don't ask). They were all out of the other flavors of Blu so I tried the sugar free version for the first time. I was expecting it to be gross, but it wasn't that bad at all. It tasted really similar to sugar free Red Bull. I'm glad to see my friend Matt is happy and the club is doing well with their Blu energy drink sales. I just hope someday the owner will realize that irony is dead.

I've been drinking a lot of diet drinks lately. I'm not going to lie, all those empty calories have been going to my waistline lately. While I'm perfectly comfortable with my weight, it wouldn't hurt me to lose a few pounds. Why am I telling you all this? Well it's to say that since I've been drinking more drinks with fake sugar in them, I've gotten used to the taste, which used to repulse me. Sucralose and its friends no longer taste like chemicals to me. Is this a good thing? I don't know.

One aspect where it's a good thing is I am able to judge the taste of a diet drink a little better. I was expecting this to be pretty bland, but I was pleasantly surprised after the first sip. It tasted like a diet version of the original Go Fast Sports energy drink, but there was something else I couldn't put my finger on. I thought maybe they were using stevia as the sweetener, but that wasn't it.

Honey. That is the main sweetener in this. Totally took me by surprise! It works really well too. Now that I know there is honey in this, it makes sense and I can taste it. It's not strong, but it's really nice sweetness in the aftertaste.