Diet - 615 Reviews

Hey Paul, are you really entering that beauty contest? I mean that's a joke right? You look like a gorilla somehow mated with an eel. Your parents are fairly good looking, how did you end up so weird looking? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just wanted to make sure you didn't completely embarrass yourself out on that stage. Sure you have a great act for the skill section. I don't know anyone else who can balance all of their body weight on their nose while singing Cher songs like you can. What is that, your secret weapon? I don't think it's really going to work, but if you want to give it a try, it's all you.

Wow! You pounded that can and now you look like a young Steve Guttenberg. I don't know if it's enough to win, but it's a definite improvement and you won't get laughed off of stage. Do you have another? Hmm this tastes like a light tropical fruit punch. It's got sucralose in it, but it's one of the better tasting diet drinks I've ever had. What's that? I don't look any different? Well is that really a shocker? I mean did you really think I could look any better? I'm pretty much Oscar Wilde's dream come to life.

Everyone I'm on tour with kept making fun of me because I wanted to stop at a Big Lots to get drinks. I understand it sounds ridiculous, but that closeout store is a goldmine for drinks and $3 DVDs. Joe from Night Birds grabbed some DVDs I grabbed a buttload of drinks.

This one was the opposite of stellar. As Joe said it tastes like a goddamn melted lime push pop, but only drenched in sucralose. Ickville.

I fell victim to marketing yet again. I went to the store today and noticed a big selection of Turkey Hill teas and lemonades in the cooler. Turkey Hill makes some of my favorite drinks and has never disappointed me. I was going to just get a traditional raspberry iced tea, until I saw this jug of raspberry lemonade with the ominous “limited edition” beacon. As much as I wanted that raspberry iced tea, not wanting to potentially miss out on this flavor drove me to buy this instead.

I had reservations with this before opening since it is a light/diet drink and sweetened with fake sugar. Luckily, it's pretty damn good! It doesn't have a diet/chemical taste at all, which is good news. In fact, in a blind taste test I doubt I could identify this as a diet drink, which means they're doing something right. It has a really nice sour taste to it, which is key (in my eyes) for good lemonade. Hopefully others concur with my thoughts and Turkey Hill rethinks this as being only a limited edition drink.

The weird thing about diet drinks is the more you drink them, the more tolerable they become. Normally I despise diet sodas because they taste like chemicals, but I've been drinking a lot of Diet Pepsi over the past couple weeks. This is because I've been staying with my mom for a few weeks until I found a place to live (which I will be moving into tomorrow) and all she has here is Diet Pepsi. Being the soda fiend and night owl I am, I have been drinking enough of it to build up a tolerance to fake sugar in soda.

I realized I had built up this tolerance when I took my first sip of this diet birch beer. I was expecting it to taste gross, but the first sip wasn't that bad. In subsequent sips I could taste the Splenda. This is a really light birch beer. It has a slight bite in the aftertaste, but not nearly as much as I would like and tend to expect from standard birch beer. This definitely gets filed in the "not the best, but not the worst" file.

Some drinks have a special purpose and when reviewing those drinks it's hard to decide what is more important flavor or functionality. The Celsius drinks score great in the realm of functionality. I can't say whether or not it burns the calories on it's own, but it definitely gives you more energy to exercise. When I drink one of these before jumping on my bike I end up riding way longer than I normally would.

On the side of flavor they sometimes leave something to be desired. That is because of their good friend sucralose. The sweetener that tastes sweet in all the wrong ways. I wish they would just switch over to stevia. If you're not going with real sugar stevia is the way to go in my book.

This is the best tasting Celsius I've had thus far. I think that's because it's a tea and not a "soda." It still has the sucralose taste, but it's masked a bit by the tea. It basically tastes like a diet raspberry tea. I don't taste the acai at all, but really who needs it when you have raspberry in the mix?

I've been inside for far to long today. This can is now empty so I'm going to go jump on my bike and ride around the city for a while. Try not to hit me.

I recently moved back to Buffalo from living in Portland, OR for 2 years. When I got back, fellow Thirsty Dude Jay gave me some drinks from his stash to get my queue going. He pawned this drink off on me, presumably because he wasn't looking forward to it. I don't blame him, it has all the characteristics of a horrible energy drink: no flavor listed, company you've never heard of, diet/sugar free/0 calories, bad artwork, etc... Oh, the pull-tab says "buzz" on it too. Ugg.

After a little research on their website, I found out this is pink grapefruit flavored (or should I say flavoured since this is a Canadian product?) This was good news to me since, as I've said many times, I love grapefruit flavoured drinks. But it's still a diet energy drink so I was still skeptical.

Here is my thought process after opening it:
Hmm, smells like grapefruit and not like chemicals.
*takes first sip*
Definitely tastes like grapefruit, now lets wait for the chemical aftertaste.
*it never comes*
Wait, really?
*takes another, bigger sip*
This diet energy drink is awesome! It tastes like Squirt and doesn't taste gross at all. After a half dozen sips, I already feel energized and can't wait to be productive the rest of the night. Once again, the fine folks of Canada have made a great product.

This is the diet version of the Ex energy drink I reviewed a few weeks ago. In that I detailed my feelings on kombucha. Basically it's foul sludge. In the ordinary version the taste wasn't that bad. I actually kind of enjoyed it. Unfortunately in this diet version the grossness prevails. It's not as strong as other kombucha drinks, but it still tastes a little bit like rot to me. I think the sweetener in the other one covered it up. The stevia in this lets it shine. Boo on you stevia. You have been so kind to me in the past why did you have to do this to me now? This doesn't taste chemical like most energy drinks, but I think I might prefer that to the kombucha taste. If you're into that kind of thing, you will probably love this.

This drink is just plain fun. It's clear and then when you twist the cap vitamins and flavors are dropped into the drink. You shake it all up and you have yourself a fresh tasty drink. It's ingenious really. It keeps the vitamins fresh and it's more entertainment for the drinker.

Both of these that I have tried taste like children's vitamins. That is a compliment in my world. Unfortunately this one tastes a bit more diet than the other ones we're reviewed. It's sweetened with stevia, so it's not too bad, but it still has a definite diet taste. That being said I would definitely drink this again.

Guys, thanks for coming over and helping me clean up the house. As you know I have this big party coming up for some foreign dignitaries and I want everything to be perfect. You guys have made that possible. This place is spotless. I can literally see my reflection in the floor. I think I finally have the proper setting to hammer out those peace treaties. I'll tell you this though; I am parched from all that work. Luckily I have this bottle of lemon-flavored aloe. This is going to be refreshing to no end. *twists off cap. chug. spit take.* Okay which one of you wisenheimers switched out my aloe for cleaning products!?!?! Guys this isn't funny I could get really sick! You swear you didn't? Well now that you mention it the freshness seal did check when I opened it. Apparently Lily of the Desert wanted this drink to takes the way that Lemon Pledge smells. It even smells strange. This is my first time around with this company and it's also my first time being disappointed with an aloe drink. The chunks are more like the pulp in orange juice than normal aloe chunks. I thought it might have just been me who didn't "get" this drink so I had five other people try it, and everyone had an identical reaction. The stevia and the lemon just do not blend well together.

Do you remember a few years back Fox had a pilot for a show called "Drive?" It was a pretty cool concept. Someone kidnapped this dude's family for undisclosed reasons and the only way to get them back would be to race from point A to point B and (probably) win. I don't know if you could earn your family back just from participating in a race and losing. That seems pointless. Needless to say, the show didn't get picked up, but I actually wanted it to. I don't know how you would keep a show based inside of a car interesting for 23 episodes to the general public, but I would have watched it. The "code name" for this drink is "drive" and I don't think that the driver of the kidnapped family would have been too keen to have this be his titular product. It's simply too strange.

You have to drink through garbage to get to "the good stuff" but then you're left with more garbage. This isn't one of those clichè "artificial sweetener" discussions either. It's kind of like you taking blood orange powder mix, which doesn't exist, putting it in your mouth, and then pouring the water directly into your mouth making juice in there. Obviously, the traditional, mom and pop, way of making juice is to put the juice in a container, mix water in, stir, and then drink. They skipped a couple steps and it shows.

I haven't really been impressed with the Vitamin Water Zero collection, thus far. Their LifeWater collection is better than this. If you're looking for a diet drink in this water-esque realm, stick with the LifeWater.

So far this has been my least favorite of the Celsius line. The sucralose in this is just overpowering. It somehow tastes like a diet ginger drink with some diet berry flavoring added to it. If you're used to the diet taste it's probably tastes fine to you. I didn't really enjoy it at all. I will still give this a three-bottle rating though as it gave me all the energy I needed to exercise. So much in fact that Mike and I rode our bikes for nearly 30 miles last night and I didn't feel exhausted at all. Hopefully it also actually burned off those extra calories like it promised to as well.

Pears. Pfft. Apple's crappy cousin who always stops by at the worst times and stays way too long and asks you thinks like, "Hey, are you still into that band Bush?". It's not so much insulting as it is a reminder to how dumb you once were and how long it's been since you talked to them. Also, do they still like Bush? Were they asking you because they had something new to inform you about? I don't think Gavin Rossdale has anything new to say about Bush. So pears...

I somehow ended up with this pear drink and I have been reluctant to drink it. Since I'm taking a brief hiatus on pop, I figured today is the day. I cracked it open and liked it. With most of the Bai drinks, it's got the very Stevia undertone with a legit fruit flavor as described. The smell of pear, which never bothered me, is very present when you smell the drink. It's a 50/50 toss up between who wins, sweetness or fruitness. Oh, fruitness isn't a word? I'm sorry, who is reviewing this drink? My cousin? Hey cuz, remember Sponge? That'll get him to shut up for a minute.

This is good, although not the best Bai drink I've had, thus, I will/have rate/rated it as such. If you love pears, you will like this drink, but even though you love pears, you too might be a bit disappointed about the fighting between the flavors. You might want really pear since there aren't a lot of pear drinks out there. I don't know what you want. This might be it. You can't really go wrong with this company, so give it a whirl. You won't be disappointed.

More drinks should be interactive. Ramune is the perfect example of a fun, interactive drink. It's so fun to knock that marble down into the drink. This is equally fun. Twisting the top orange part and letting the powder fall into the drink, helplessly, like someone pulled the ground from under it. It's actually pretty incredible how dark this drink gets with how little powder actually goes into it. Also, I did say powder, but they did an awesome job of formulating it so that it doesn't have that gritty, "too much powder" taste like you are drinking half juice and half sandy juice. It tastes like if you mixed orange Flintstone vitamins and Tang, two things that remind me of childhood. If I had this as a child, I could cross two things off my list. A multitasker. This drink is good and good for you. It's clichè, I know, but it's true.

It reminds me of some James Bond poisoning technique, a bit. Obviously not orange because Mr. Bond would be hip to whatever Goldfinger is trying to do to him. If he, or probably Oddjob, would use something similar to those clear fiber powders, but mixed it with a truth serum/powder, all would be lost. You and I would be living in a gold-free environment. Fort Knox would be Goldfinger's because James Bond was thirsty.

Buy it for yourself, buy it for your kids, buy it for your lover. If anyone doesn't like it, tell them that you'll never buy them anything ever again, but do it in that voice, you know the one, the one that makes it sound so personal that the other person feels like garbage and buys you a Whopper because they feel bad.

This is a diet water based drink similar to Vitamin Water or Gatorade. I took a sip and it tasted a bit strange. It was slightly chalky and tasted of citrus. There was something else there that I couldn't quite place. I handed the bottle off to Editor Dan and he couldn't place it either, although he was familiar with it. It was at this time that Dan discovered the downfall of this drink. He looked at the ingredients to try and sort out what the mystery flavor was. He didn't find what he was looking for. Instead he found that the drink contained cod, pollock, haddock, hake, cusk, redfish, sole and flounder in the form of "fish gelatin." What the hell!?!?!! I don't understand it at all, and I certainly don't approve. One sip was all that I ingested of this drink. It was mediocre at best to begin with, but the fact that I was drinking Nemo makes me say no thank you.

I think that if Jesus was straight edge, he might make fruit punch. Think about it. It's either that or grape juice. Grape juice may be the better choice since "grapes is grapes" but let's play along.

It's hot. It's the desert so you really should have brought more water with you. The poorly designed, worse photocopied brochure you had clearly stated that you should have brought more water. Well now you're in for it. When you think all is lost, you come across a stream. Clean, pure drinking water... is boring after thirteen days and nights. You need something else. You ask around and the only person who can save you is Jesus, the dude two tents over. He said he could turn water to low calorie fruit punch. You kind of cringe as you are not currently on a diet although all the mutton you've been eating has been going straight to your hips and inner thigh area.

"Fine, dude", you say to Jesus, "We'll try your fruit punch. " And with one turnaround from Jesus, some strange squeezing sounds coming from inside his technicolor and Hypercolor dreamcoat which he has borrowed from his college roommate Joey, he presents you with a bowl of fruit punch.

You quickly drink every last drop and you are surprised that it doesn't taste more like diet. You thank Jesus for a change of pace to which he responds, "namasde" and starts making strange squeaking noises under his coat elsewhere.

I saw this bottle in my mom's fridge and realized that we hadn't reviewed it yet. Even though I hate diet soda, I decided to give it a try in the name of Thirsty Dudes.

Battery acid. That's what it tastes like. It burns all the way down. No matter how much I try, I can't get used to the diet soda taste. I only had a couple sips and my stomach feels horrible.

I opened up the paper today and this is what the headline read: "Thirsty Dudes Makes Reviewers Fat." Print doesn't lie my friends. I can't speak for Thirsty Neuls, but I know Mike and I have each put on weight since we started this website. How could we not? Do you know how much our sugar consumption has increased it's ridiculous. At this pace we'll be starring in the next installment of the Big Mamma's House franchise (for the record I've never see any of those movies). Instead of cutting down on the amount of drinks I imbibe for the sake of Thirsty Dudes, I've cut down the rest of my diet. Also, since the weather is nice I've been exercising a lot more. Specifically I've been riding my bike a decent amount every day.

We had received these "Ultimate Fitness Partner" drinks a couple of months ago, so I figured I'd review the rest of them as I try to lose some weight. The other ones I've had haven't been too bad, but like most things in a concentrated form this tasted like poison. It's as if someone grabbed a bottle of booze to spike the punch at a high school dance, but instead of grabbing the bottle with three X's on it, they accidentally grabbed the bottle with three skull and crossbones on it. Has there ever been punch at dances since the 60's?

So this may taste like Poison Punch (I think that was the name of Mike's band when he was in junior high) it did seem to have the desired effect. I can't confirm that I burned more calories, but it certainly gave me more energy while I was out riding. I was exhausted when I went out, but about 10 minutes into my ride the drink kicked in and I rode for way longer than I expected.

For flavor I would have given this drink a negative 5, but for it's functionality I will give it a 3. I really need to stay away from "shot" drinks.

Drinking this beverage is like voluntarily taking a vacation to a diet nightmare. Think of yourself as a standard man. You love hamburgers, french fries, milkshakes, and you drive a sweet '64 1/2 Ford Mustang. You have enough product in your hair to be considered a natural disaster and all you wear is blue jeans, black shoes, and white V-neck T-shirts. Sure, all I know about being a man apparently came from "Happy Days", but that was when men were men and women were women...not really, but you know how these reviews tend to go.

So you're a man. While eating a cheeseburger from some chrome diner, you meet another woman's glance and you fall in love. You go to the drive in. You go to whatever a sock hop is. You listen to records. All is great in the world. You decide to get a place together. You first shopping excursion, you buy the following standard items; hamburgers, Murry's pomade, toothpaste, new pack of shirts since yours all have greaze on it from working on your hog, and some cereal. Your girlfriend is trying out dieting even though she can't clock in at more than 110. I mean, she's got a killer body and you can lift her all day long, and you do. She buys items like, low fat milk, egg whites, Lean Pockets, and Sparkling Ice Pomegranate Berry.

You pay the $7.32 bill and head home, not having any idea of the torturous night you have ahead of you.

You make some hamburgers for yourself since you girlfriend wouldn't dare eat meat because it's too fatty and she's endlessly watching her figure, so she makes an egg white omelet. You think it's fine because she's so easy to look at and you ask her for something to drink while she's in the kitchen. She grabs you one of her six Sparkling Ice drinks. You sit down to a nice meal and you take a bite of your burger, love it, and then take a big, manly sip of your drink. You can't believe it. Your otherwise perfect girlfriend is trying to poison you. Surly, no one who is trying to live would drink this. It's fruity but so fake tasting that you swear it's flavored plastic fruit like the kind your grandma has on her living room table like she's permanently doing "still life" art drawing of the same fruit. You take another sip. It's no better than the first. It's so sharp, so strong. It's cuts through the flavor of your meal and slices it's way down your throat like candy coated razor blades.

Needless to say, you and her do not work out and it's unfortunate. She had everything going for her, and people aren't going to understand. You'll catch flak for it for a while until people realize that this "diet" thing that's going on is not good for business. You'll be fine and you will grow from your experience while she will search endlessly for results that will never be enough and she will forever be unsatisfied.

I couldn't have said it better than Zack. "It tastes a bit mediciny." It's lightly sweetened, decent flavor, but something is off. The longer you keep it in your mouth, the stranger it gets. I don't know why I keep things longer in my mouth. Maybe it's because I'm a scientist. Because I am trying to get a place where this doesn't taste strange? I'm really not impressed. You know who else isn't impressed? Ice Cube and Ian Mackaye. Using "xxx" on this label serves less than no purpose. Is it a "codename" for the flavors? I guess that's what it is, but you know what? Those dudes don't like it. I don't even know them and they don't like it.

I don't know how you got diabetes. Your doctor wouldn't give me your chart due to something called "doctor/patient confidentiality" which I find bogus. I do know that you and your little body don't handle sugar too well. For this reason, I have purchased you, my friend, a six-pack of Zevia Mountain Zevia. I know, I know. It's just like the U2 song "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" except instead of "Sunday" it's Zevia and you also have to replace "Bloody" with "Mountain" but aside from that; carbon copy.

Go ahead take a sip. Take a big, bigger sip. Didn't you say that Mountain Dew was your favorite? Doesn't thing remind you of all night LAN parties where you and your 7 closest friends would bring a TV, Xbox, and controller to someone's house, set them all up in the living room, and play Halo all night? A little bit? Yeah, well it's not the same thing, so why would you expect it to taste the same? It's sweetened with Stevia so it's not going to make you need that pen that you carry with the frighteningly large needle. It's a flash of that Mountain Dew grossness; I mean flavor, and then the cool aftertaste of the Stevia. It's not horrible, right? It's better than, say, regular Mountain Dew? Well look, this is the best you're going to do unless you want to lose a leg because of your dedication to "Doing the Dew" so deal with it. It's the thought that counts and I think you're being a jerk.