Diet - 615 Reviews

Energy shots are garbage. It's a scientific fact. They are concentrated so they taste like liquid trash. It's up to you to decide if the trade off it worth it. Do you want to chug a big sugary can of something that will make you pee at least twice, or do you want something quick and compact? The cans generally taste better, in their own chemical way, but the shots can be stored in a pocket for anytime use.

Normally the shots and cans are around the same price, but On Go has put out this line of shots that are less than a dollar each. So they are compact and inexpensive. This one also tastes like radioactive raspberries. It's sad that the flavor doesn't put it at a disadvantage against other energy shots. As I said they all taste like neon trash. I can say that this works, possibly too well. I drank it on an all day excursion of bike riding/hiking/beaver watching and pizza eating and I was unable to fall asleep until about 4am. I should have been completely exhausted like my friends, who passed out around midnight, but this little bottle kept me alert, even when I pleaded for it not to.

Why America is Fat, by Mike Literman of the Thirsty Dudes,

It's no stretch to say that many American's are overweight. We can't go a week without hearing the nightly news talk about how we weigh more than all other countries combined, or something along those lines. That's not true, but you can't go a week without seeing footage of obese, neck down citizens. Why does this happen? Well it's actually very simple. American's do not understand moderation. Food servings are too big here. Yeah, feeling filled is great, but the fact that there is a four patty Baconator at Wendy's is too much food. Yes, it's too many calories for a family of four eating a five-course meal, too, but it's too much food for one person. It seems like it's gone too far because as soon as some restaurant comes up with a reasonable quantity of food, people won't know what to do with so little food and that joint will be closed twice as fast as it opened. Cheese comes on everything and cheese is delicious. Everything is doused in some sort of sauce or cream. Diet pop doesn't taste good so people opt to get non-diet drinks in exchange. That's where Thomas Kemper comes into play.

Thomas Kemper, a responsible group of people, has developed a root beer that is diet using Splenda that doesn't taste like you're drinking some sort of industrial strength floor cleaner. It's dark, has a strong vanilla taste, and although it isn't as complex as their non-diet version, people who drink diet pop or should be drinking diet pop can sigh in relief at the fact that this drink is not gross. It's more than not gross, but baby steps say that saying that it's "great" might be overstepping my boundaries. I will say that this is probably the best diet root beer I've had and that should hold some weight. Also, they still craft it using honey, just as one would expect from Mr. Kemper and friends.

I'm not calling you fat, but instead of drinking eight beers, six of which are in a six pack and it is a six pack made from other people's beer that they left in your fridge that you decided were now your own and you would fashion your own, custom sixer and balance it on your stomach, leave them in the fridge for another day, or never, and replace it with a six pack of delicious, diet root beer. Your belts, which you have actually worn out an awls because you have put so many of your own holes in them, will thank you.

I've become pretty tolerant of energy shots in the past couple years. I don't feel like going back through all my reviews, but I'm guessing I've tried at least two-dozen different brands and flavors. Obviously some are better than others, but for the most part they are gross.

I found this one at the Dollar Store and I now know why. It has a gross chalky berry flavor that is just not appealing to me. Xtra Energy? More like Xtra gross.

Life in the lab is hard work. Long hours, no time to socialize (except at home on World of Warcraft), hardly any sleep, etc... We used to have a coffee pot in the lab. Unfortunately one time I accidentally poured mercury into it. I almost made a cup of coffee with it to give to the new janitor Franklin, but I decided I didn't want to accidentally cause someone else's death.

Sadly, my coffee drinking days in the lab are over. Which is why, like most scientists, I have switched to energy drinks. Most of my colleagues like the standard ones: Red Bull, Monster, Rockstar, Amp, etc... While those are all fine, I prefer to dig a little and find some hidden gems. This Neutron Energy one is one of my favorites currently. I was drawn to it by the name and artwork obviously. I love tart drinks as well and this one can definitely be classified as such. It has a strong grapefruit taste, which is awesome. It has a slight diet taste, but it definitely tastes better than most energy drinks. I've obviously never drank mercury coffee, but I'm sure it tastes better than that as well.

Ever since I was a kid, I loved the taste of cough syrup. Whenever I got sick and had to take it, I secretly was excited. I was a good kid and never abused it or took it when I didn't need it. Even as an adult, I've only ever took it as needed.

Also when I entered adulthood, I found out that most people hate the taste of cough medicine. I was so confused when I found this out. Were they all getting gross flavors and I just always happened to buy the good stuff? This energy drink tastes just like grape cough syrup and I love it. It's not as thick as its medicinal counterpart, but it has a slightly thicker than normal consistency to it. The best part is this barely has any gross energy drink or diet taste to it.

From the taste of this I would suspect that Tropical Azul is some sort of blue sugar candy. Perhaps is a blue off brand Lick-a-Made or Pixie Stick. Cintron has taken this beloved treat and somehow removed all of the sugar. You might think that you would just have an empty plate after that because it just looks like a pile of blue sugar, but if it were that simple my friend. Cintron developed the science for their diabetic friends and they have used it and used it well. Due to poor candy sales last quarter, they infused this treat into an energy drink. What was created is what is before me now. It tastes like blue candy and it tastes like an energy drink. It also tastes like a diet energy drink that doesn't taste like death. So ride the blue wave my friend. Ride it to lower blood sugar and a thinner waist.

You don't need to tell me. You are sick of those girls driving around in the Mini Cooper, slinging Red Bull at everyone all of the day. It's like the world's most awesome job that you can't do and you are mad. You get free Red Bull and you get to get to drive an awesomely fun car all day, going to parties and bars and living the life, man. The only downfall is that you have to dress kind of awkwardly and backpacks filled with the stuff and your otherwise awesome car is modified to look like a traveling can. Still, you have been drinking the stuff for years and you are just sick to death of seeing those bulls running into each other. You know someone is going to lose an eye in the mix. You need a change and friends I've got it.

This drink tastes like diet Red Bull and is in a different can. Now, you can enjoy the drink that you've loved but with a style change. It's got that "thousand Smarties" taste and has a diet aftertaste on big, championship chugs. If you sip it, it's standard energy drink taste. Chugs, you can tell it's got some "diet" thing going on.

I had a run in with coffee soda once before and it didn't go so well. For some reason, I had a feeling this was going to taste good. Maybe after doing this for over a year I've developed some sort of extra sense: the ability to determine how good a drink will be before opening it. That would be a pretty cool power to have. Maybe I could get on Stan Lee's Super-humans with it.

My drink sense was not wrong on this one. This combines two things I love (coffee and cola) and melds them together in an amazing way. It tastes like a really crisp cola, but with a nice coffee aftertaste. There's a hint of vanilla in there as well, which adds a nice smooth taste to it. The best part of this drink is that it's a diet drink, but doesn't have that gross diet taste to it. (Note: I have been drinking a lot of diet drinks lately so there is a slight possibility that I have become used to the taste of sucralose and no longer find it disgusting.)

I think I need to order a case of this asap because I'm not always in the mood for hot coffee in the morning and I only like iced coffee with soy/almond milk in it. This is my new favorite coffee drink.

The diet soda world improved greatly when rebiana and stevia were introduced as sweeteners. I can hardly stomach pop that is sweetened with aspartame or sucralose. It tastes so grossly artificial. It's robot food, and no matter what anyone says I am not a robot.

Sans did a decent job with this root beer. You can definitely tell that it's a diet drink, but it's not overpowering. I could do with a stronger root beer taste. The way it is now tastes watered down, but I would take that any day over an artificially sweetened variety. If you are looking to eat/drink healthier, but you just can't give up soda this is the product for you.

Waist Watcher? More like weight watcher? Am I right? What, sir? Oh, that's the gag? Oh, well I guess that's not a great joke. Well, have you had this stuff? I mean, come on, people, ginger ale? More like ginger pale, Am I right? Oh, pale ginger ale exists? Geez, tough crowd. Well, alright. How about this one? If you're fat, you shouldn't be drinking pop to begin with. Bam! Sir, please give me a break. I've only been doing comedy for seventeen years. I can't get it right all the time. I wrote this material on the plane ride over from Sandusky and they served this on the plane. I mean, come on. What plane doesn't have Coke or Pepsi? It seems like an industry standard. This stuff, it's like fake carbonated sugar only. The only ginger ale you get is when you burp and although burping is fun, it's hardly worth the effort and torture it takes to drink this.

Alright sir, I've been working on this bit for a while, try it on for size. Did you hear about this Lorena Bobbitt lady? You have? Hmm. Well you've been a wonderful crowd, that's my five...er...one minute. Good night!

It's been a long day at the gym. I'm a sweaty mess and I'm also exhausted. What can I say sometimes you just need to juice your pecs. Did you see me in there though? I was benching so much that it could have been a beached whale. No not that one that blew up all over some Asian city when they were trying to transport it. That was insane and disgusting. Why would you bring that up? Seriously, you're the "bar tender" at the gym juice bar. Is that you're opening line to make conversation with patrons? If so you really need to work on it.

So what would you recommend that I drink at a time like this? Muscle Milk? Sounds disgusting. You know that milk is basically blood and pus right? Ugh. Seriously are you trying to make me sick here? Is that how you get people to lose weight in this establishment? Oh they have a water version that is raspberry flavored? I guess I'll take one of those. Hmmm it tastes like a diet Vitamin Water with a little milk mixed in. This is really weird. It's basically water, juice and whey protein. Flavor-wise they either need to ditch the sucralose or the whey. Both are needed for their formula, so I guess it's what we're stuck with. I don't hate this, but I can't see drinking it every time I come to this gym. Wait...what? This isn't a gym? This is just the basement of a construction site? Then why are you serving drinks? Stop looking at me like I'm insane!

Diet death. That is what in encased in this bottle. It is chock full of tons of things that are good for you, and that probably wouldn't taste all that bad, but then it's completely overloaded with sucralose. I've learned to accept sucralose in moderation, but it's so prevalent in this drink that I just can't handle it. It definitely has a grape and apple taste, but that stupid artificial sweetener gets in there and just messes it all up for everyone. Well everyone that has taste buds. On top of all that it is a neon teal color that has nothing to do with either of the fruits represented. It actually looks like toxic waste, just the way it tastes.

This can looks like one that would be used in a Foo Fighters video in order to show the ridiculousness of energy drinks. I can just picture Dave Grohl dressed as a club girl drinking this as he walks past a bunch of guys waiting to get in. And then just as he enters the doorway, he half turns around and winks at someone. Say what you will about the band's music, they have made some great music videos over the years.

Unlike the can, the taste did not make me feel like I was in a club listening to Euro Dance Mix 2004. It's a really light drink. This is probably because, as the can says, it is sugar, carb, and fat free. I can't put my finger on what the taste reminds me of, but it's good! There's no diet taste, and there's definitely no battery acid energy drink taste. I wish I had more than just this one can. I could drink this all the time.

A lot of the time I feel like we just shouldn't bother reviewing energy shots. The reason being is that even the best of them taste like a mouthful of pesticide. This just happens to be one of the best of them, so it tastes like pineapple pesticide. You know the kind they only use in Hawaii. I was a huge fan of the "drink" version of this product, so I had high hopes that this was going to be the messiah of energy shots. Nope. It still tastes harsh and like you got your hands on something as a child that really should have a childproof cap on it, but it's been sitting on the shelf since the 70's, before those caps existed. This was a valiant effort, Cintron, but I just don't think it's possible to do what you're trying to do. Take it from a scientist.

Johnny, I've had a lot of trouble getting to sleep. What can you prescribe me? I trust you in all your endless knowledge of sports, and for that reason, why shouldn't I trust you in your slight, if at all knowledge of medicine. I mean, I know you work at a corner grocery store, but maybe this is just a stepping-stone to your true calling, medicine. Sure, some say that you can't go back to school at...Johnny, how old are you...sixty-two, but I say that can't be right. I went to school and although I didn't see anyone who's sixty-two, I saw kids that might have been forty and that's pretty old for school. What's twelve more years?

So, my dilemma. I can't sleep. Nothing keeps me up at night but my own mind and I've got to slow it down to a creeping halt so that I can work my high power job at the roller rink as a DJ. What have you got for me? Why this? Arizona makes tea, Johnny. Oh, they've got a new product. Well, let me take a look-see here. Peach green tea and it comes in this adorable little container? I will try this right now, if you don't mind. Johnny! This is perhaps better than the tall boy of Arizona peach iced tea. It's remarkable! I'll take a case. Now I will have no problem sleeping in until three o'clock when the roller rink opens. Here, Johnny, take these two complimentary tickets to the roller rink on me. You deserved it. Yes, as a matter of fact, skates are extra. Sorry. We've got to make money somehow.

When I was a kid, I used to have Estes rockets. They were awesome. I can't wait to buy them for my son and take all the precautions I didn't as a kid. I would go to the hobby shop, pick up one that I liked, buy a couple rockets, and head home to put it all together. I'd paint it and I had a rad launch pad with remote detonator so that I didn't blow my adolescent fingers off.

You could buy different rockets. Letters signifying power identified most of them. Some rockets could only handle a certain restriction of rocket so the thing didn't explode when you launched it. Some rockets were two stage rockets, which means they have two separate bursts of fuel. This drink is like a dual stage rocket.

First sip is a bit of a calm black cherry taste. Once you find yourself asking where the sweetness is, stage two kicks in with a rush of super sweet Stevia. After those stages of the flavor rocket are complete, the descent happens where they all kind of comes together for a limited time as a pretty nice aftertaste. The aftertaste keeps you coming back for More and is definitely the best part.

I used to launch my rockets with my parents and friends and they constantly got caught in trees or I just couldn't find them when they came down. If I have one bit of advice, paint all your rockets in bright or even fluorescent colors. You can get this drink when you are on your way to launch HQ.

In television and the moving pictures when a bunch of dudes go to Vegas there is about a 90% chance that one of them will get drunk/high enough that they end up marrying a complete stranger. I appreciate the humor in that. The episode of The Simpsons in which that scenario happens to Homer and Flanders is top notch. Mainly because Flanders on a bender is hysterical, and second because of all of the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas references.

My question is are the women who are the brides out there looking for someone to marry in some sort of scam, or are they generally just as messed up as the guys? I feel like the girl whose silhouette is on this can is out looking for love, not quick money. She goes out night after night, hitting up all the casinos looking for her match. She knows she's going to be out all night, either looking or gazing into her true love's eyes, so she downs on of these energy drinks. She likes it because it's sugar free, yet it actually tastes decent. It tastes like a diet fruit punch, Hawaiian Punch to be specific. Since it's a fruit punch it doesn't taste overly diet even though it is. It's nice that even though there is an artificial sweetener in the drink, it's way down towards the end of the ingredients list. It keeps her up. It keeps her looking. Her true love is out there somewhere. Let's just hope that he/she is also in Vegas.

It's really great that the pharmaceutical industry has finally stepped up their flavor game for cough medicine. For years it was always cherry, grape or the occasional orange. Now they have finally come out with a pomegranate flavor to get with the times. Oh what's that? This isn't cough medicine, but rather an energy shot? Well that's unfortunate, because it tastes like medicine.

Energy shots by nature are gross, because it's all the chemicals concentrated. It is due to that, that this gets three bottles. If this was a normal energy drink I probably would have given it a one. This does not taste good, but it works, and the pomegranate blocks the chemical taste slightly...I guess.

Something must have gone terribly awry at ye olde apple orchard. You see I have this can of Celsius fitness drink that was made from the harvest of the orchard and it tastes like the entire orchard was marinated in pesticides, or that it was stewing in napalm. Perhaps this is actually made from the soil of the orchard that old apples had rotted in to. No I think it's actually apples covered in napalm. You see this has only the faintest apple taste to it. I think that might even be a stretch. In a blind taste test I would never in a million years be able to pick out that this is supposed to be apple flavored. It literally tastes like poison, like I'm drinking some fluid that is supposed to go in a car, but someone has apple artificial sweetener to it. I can't believe I finished the can earlier. I just needed to keep up the energy so Mike and I could talk all night scheming of what our plan of attack would be if we ever made it on to the TV show "Take the Money and Run." I bet we could totally get away with it. We're crafty and being imprisoned for 48 hours doesn't scare us. We're strong willed. Oh yeah, we were also riding our bikes for several hours while we were discussing this. Now It's almost 4 hours later. I'm sore, I'm all hyped up, and I can still taste this poison on my tongue. For shame Celsius. You can do better than this.

I have a 500 button order due tomorrow so it looks like an all-nighter for me. Luckily I picked this energy shot up at Dollar Tree a couple weeks ago so I should be good to go. At first this wasn't that bad. I thought I had found yet another decent tasting energy shot. But then on the second sip the usual energy drink gross taste kicked in. Shortly after, it started tasting like a mix of cough syrup and melted popsicles. While I'm sure this is going to keep me awake, the taste is not great at all.