Diet - 615 Reviews

Motts, I have some questions for you. This product boasts that it has 40% less sugar than your average fruit juice, which I think is a good thing. Now, I'm assuming you didn't perform some sort of magic and remove the natural sugar from the apples and grapes that are the base of this drink. Maybe I'm wrong; maybe you have employed some sorcerers for your bottling plants. I'm going to guess that you just didn't add any HFCS or sugar to the juice. Instead you added stevia, which is healthier but still seems unnecessary. You did a good job with having this particular all natural zero calorie sweetener not taste overly diet in this juice, but you can still tell that it's there. My main question is this: why add any addition sweeteners at all? Why not just let the apples and grapes speak for themselves? Have we really come to a point in society where the natural sweetness of fruit is simply not enough? Do the majority of your customers really prefer that a perfectly sweet beverage be even sweeter? I just don't get it. You can taste the actual fruit behind the stevia, and I can tell you it's doing fine on it's own. Grape is running the game, but it invited apple along for the ride. I understand that grape juice in the raw if you will, can be a bit harsh for some people, but isn't it apple's job to keep it toned down?

In my opinion this would have been perfectly fine, if not better without the addition of a sweetener of any kind. I still enjoy it, but it leaves me wanting something more pure. If you are a person who likes their sweets sweeter, I suggest this. Why take on those extra calories when they are completely unnecessary?

It's harsh out there in this post apocalyptic world we live in. Ever since the beginning of the end us humans have had it rough. There are food shortages and finding clean water is proving to be harder and harder. The only electricity we have is through generators, and it's only matter of time before all the gas is gone and those prove to be pointless. We should have all listened to Ed Begley Jr and installed those solar panels. He's living like a king in his home watching old videos of Transylvania 6-5000, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, and A Mighty Wind.

As you all know the atmosphere has gone into the toilet and in order to even breath the air around us we need to up our immunity systems. Lucky for all of us that Neuro stepped up to the plate a created a once a day beverage that does just that. The beverage that is helping keep us all alive is packed with vitamin D, vitamin C, zinc amongst others to keep us healthy and alive.

Since we have to keep on our toes, due to the roving packs of mutants that threaten our very existence, the drink is sweetened with sucralose along with crystalline fructose. No one needs those extra pounds holding them back these days. Well actually, we won't have to worry about those extra pounds once the food shortage gets worse, which is inevitable.

As diet as this might be, it doesn't taste horrible. Tangerines were a wonderful fruit when they still existed. Neuro does a good job replicating their taste, and the citrus taste really cuts through the diet garbage. Is it an ideal flavor? No, but it's much better than it could be and sacrificing a little flavor is fine by me for the benefits it gives us, you know like staying alive.

It's a harsh world, indeed.

Hats off to Jimmy Buffett. Seriously. I cannot drink or read the word "Pina Colada" without singing the chorus of that song in my head. I have been to a Margaritaville in Las Vegas and had a pretty decent meal of jerk chicken so once again, Jimmy, I doff my hat to you.

Review. Right. This is not a pina colada. I have never drunk one but this is sparkling and clear and not alcoholic and milky. Taste wise though; I don't hate it at all. I quite like it actually. Initially it tastes kind of diet but then you read that it's Stevia and not something gross and you kind of readjust your taste buds to it and the next sip is far better. One sampler in my focus group said that it smelled like suntan lotion but I don't think that I've ever met a pina colada that didn't.

For this being zero calories, this is very good. It is up there on my list of great pina colada drinks. It's accurate and even though they made it calorieless, it doesn't really suffer any consequences. So from me to both Spree and Jimmy Buffett, good work guys. You've got it.

Vemma has been slowly building it's empire based on a promise of a healthier energy drink that does more than just get you amped up, as well as giving those beverages flavors that are outside the norm in the world of taurine, B vitamins and a whole lot of sugar. Now I seem to have left my Bunsen burners and my Erlenmeyer flasks back at the office so I was unable to perform the proper scientific research to confirm their health claims (they do seem above water though). What I can do with confidence is confirm the taste of this beverage.

This is no Red Bull, Monster or Amped clone. The Verve! line tastes like to other energy drink that I have encountered. For this can of ParTEA let's start with the fact that it is uncarbonated. This is a good thing since the base of it is green tea and as much as companies work on it, I have yet to taste a carbonated tea that I have preferred over the still variety. They have added mangosteen and aloe to the tea, which give it a nice fruity flavor. Actually the fruity flavor overpowers the tea a bit more than I would prefer it to. By a bit I mean that the tea flavor is hardly there. Such is the sadness in this world. Vemma chose to sweeten the whole deal up with a bit of organic cane sugar as well as a heaping of xylitol, which is a little used zero calorie sweetener. The result is that you end up with a fruity drink with a slight diet flavor to it that has a minimal tea taste, without any trace of the “classic” energy drink flavor to be found.

Did I need to be wearing a lab coat and goggles to type that out to you? Of course not. Did I do it anyways? Of course I did, I'm a scientist!

After enjoying about half this can my ladyfriend came in the room and I handed it to her for a sip. She instantly asked if it was diet. I said yes, as I am not a known liar, but that it wasn't bad and overly diet. She took one sip and the look of utter revulsion crossed her face. I believe she then called it “diet death” and quickly handed it back to me.

My point here is that if you are not used to diet drinks you're not going to like this, or any zero calorie sweetened beverage. They are in an entire different universe from “normal” sodas. As much as I wish it wasn't true, it's a sad fact of life.

The opposite side of things is that once you become acclimated to these sweeteners, some of them (aka erythritol/stevia) aren't that bad. Sometimes for the sake of health you have to accept things that aren't initially attractive to your taste buds. For many people soda is a way of life, but those same people tend to end up overweight from consuming it far too much. This is a nice option for changing things. Yes, it does have a bit of a diet taste, but I assure you stevia is far better tasting then any of those other guys out there.

This is the most acceptable zero calorie orange soda I have ever tried. As a person who drinks far too many beverages you should probably take that as some sort of gospel.

Oh Slim Fast you were the bane of everyone who enjoyed sweets in the 80s. Okay that's pushing it, but those of us who were kids at the time hated you. Our parents (my mother) bought them to try and help them to lose weight and the promise of a wonderful chocolate drink led countless of us to steal them for our own glory. Unfortunately for underdeveloped taste buds all around the country those beverages were not the treats we wanted at all. Everything about them tasted wrong. I'm assuming it was due to some sort of artificial sweetener. Ugh.

Here I sit, more than 25 years later and I just did not want to drink this, even though it's my duty as a Thirsty Dude. Sometimes you just have to suck it up. That is exactly what I did, literally, and this is much better than I ever remember. Perhaps it's my more refined palate at a later age, and perhaps it's that they use sugar along with sucralose to sweeten it. It tastes like a melted vanilla milkshake with some protein in it, and it has that consistency as well. It's a bit on the thick side, but it's not all chalky from the protein, so I'll take it. Everything in here does a good job to mask the taste of the sucralose, which was my main concern with this drink. Sucralose has overthrown aspartame as the new king of hell.

Mrs. Mulvaney we are happy to announce that you have won a shopping spree. We understand that you are a 68 year old mother of four children who have left the nest to have families of your own. We also have down here that you are diabetic and that you have a passion for kitten sweaters. After compiling all of that data, we have decided to grant you a seven minute shopping spree at Home Depot. It seemed like the most fitting establishment on our list for your lifestyle. Remember to grab all of that lumber you'll need for those renovations you would like to do to your house, if you didn't live in a third floor apartment.

By our calculations your frail frame should be able to push a shopping cart that weights about 300lbs. So make sure you stock up on power tools while you have the time! By law we are required to furnish you with a beverage during your spree, as to avoid any allegations of neglect in case you die from exhaustion/dehydration. Our team of specialists has determined this bottle of kiwi kumquat sparkling water will be perfect for the job. Oh look at that, it's sweetened with stevia, so you also won't have a diabetic episode because of it. Our specialists really are on their game here.

This thing actually tastes pretty good for being diet as well. I think I might have to contact the head office and have them send me a case. It smells more like kiwi than it tastes like that magical green fruit, but it still has a nice general tropical fruit taste to it. It's rare that you come across kumquats in a drink, but I'm all for it. It's like a tiny fancy orange, with a slightly different taste. I much prefer them to the strawberry that normally accompanies kiwi. Overall it's light, it's fruity and the stevia doesn't make you feel like you're poisoning yourself just to lower your sugar intake. I mean sure it taste more like stevia than any fruit, but that is the nature of the diet game.

Now Mrs. Mulvaney, take off that house coat and grab some comfortable shoes. You're got a store to ransack.

All energy drinks taste the same. They all taste like some candied citrus chemical that upon first trying you are sure is poisoning you, but that upon repeated tasting you grow to actually enjoy. So sit right back, take a sip and welcome in the status quo…€¦

…€¦wait…€¦something…€¦is…€¦not…€¦right.

In reality what Sin Thirst Sin (Is that the official name?) gives you is not more of the same with a different label. This tastes like your drinking rose flavored butterscotch or something like that. I instantly get the rose flavor, and then something else that I couldn't place. When I searched maca I found out that it tastes like nutty butterscotch, and that is a fairly accurate description of what I could not place. The lack of taurine is what is causing the chemical taste to be lacking, and that is a good thing. For the most part this seems to rely on more natural ingredients to give the imbiber a boost of energy.

This is most certainly something new and different and it had the potential to blow me away, but then they had to go and use sucralose as a sweetener. Underneath any sort of interesting flavor is the lingering taste of death via fake sugar. Let's move past sucralose people. There are other zero calorie options out there that while they still have a specific flavor it's not as offensive as this.

When I think of bliss the first thing that crosses my mind is shoegaze. If you're not familiar it's a style of music that sounds very dreamy (sometimes droney) with a lot of effects on the guitars. As soon as I hear the word bliss either a Slowdive or My Bloody Valentine song pops into my head and I like to take a moment and just bask in it's strange pop bliss.

Is this beverage the liquid version of those songs? Not even close. While the added ingredients may have reduced my stress in the long run, I got no relaxation from the flavor. The sole reason for that is that even though crystalline fructose is the main sweetener, there is also sucralose in the mix, and as we all know if it's there at all it is overpowering. Without the sucralose this could have been a very pleasant, lightly carbonated raspberry drink. I keep trying to block out the fake sugar taste and I know there is a truly enjoyable beverage in there somewhere. I can just tell it's something that I would really, really like. Unfortunately the sucralose buries nearly all of that taste under its grossness. If you are one of the people who walks this planet that are unaffected by sucralose, like those who like cilantro, you will probably be all over this.

Marshall, you are a good dude but you've got some faults. You are a great runner but you...well Marshall. I don't know any other way to tell you this, but you stink. I think, and this is coming from love, that the reason that you are winning all these races is because the kids you're racing against are coughing and they aren't hearing the signal to go off. Now, you're not obese but you could stand to lose some weight. Look, like I said, you're doing great. You are a fast runner but I don't know if you're fast because you are actually fast or you are fast because you are stinking all your opponents to high heaven.

I don't know what you eat or drink but I've got a suggestion. Two actually. One is that you take a shower. I can actually see a strand of spaghetti in your hair that has been there for three days at least. You're covered in what I can only assume are ketchup and mustard stains. Maybe you should cut back on the hot dogs, buddy. Since we're talking about cutting things out, a quick way to lose some weight is to cut out some of the pop in your diet. No more of this twenty-ounce pop before each race thing. I'm helping you more than you know. Here, try this. I've been drinking it for a while now and I like it. Sure it's a little "modern diet" because you can taste the Erytritol and Stevia but it's better than your mama's diet cola. It tastes like a pretty regular lemon lime pop which is saying a lot since it's zero calories.

Now look, today and today only. Stink up the joint and bring us to county finals. Then the change begins. Now get out of here before I throw up and if I see that spaghetti in your hair tomorrow you're off the team. You hear me, Marshall, off the team.

What sport are you playing? Oh never mind, it doesn't matter. As long as you are playing something that can be considered a sport I have a drink for you. Whether is be football, golf or curling this drink will cure what ails you. I call it All Sport, because as I have said it covers literally every sport. If you're playing, it's hydrating you.

What does it taste like? Well what do you think? It is a sports drink after all and they pretty much all taste the same to some extent. This one just happens to be diet. We used sucralose and rebiana. It actually doesn't taste that much like a diet drink either. It just tastes blue and I know you know what that it. At first this is pretty great, but by the time you have about a third left, you're done with it. I suppose I shouldn't be telling you that as I'm trying to sell you think drink, but…€¦wait this isn't my product at all. I found it at Big Lots. Oh, in that case people stick to Gatorade, they are tried and true and have their own decent diet drinks.

Hey Steve, what do you want to call our new line of drinks? Steve's Sweet Styles? You do realize that is the dumbest name I have ever heard, right? Like, it's beyond bad Steve. Not in the better than bad it's good way; in the so bad I want to punch you right in your stupid hole that those words fell out of. Well fine, I will come up with something better. Juice Sparklers? No. Oh, I got it! Let's name it after what we do to make it! All we do is mix all the ingredients together in a basin, minus the fruit and then mash that all up on a screen above it to collect the precious juice. Let's just call it MASH. It's a good, simple, non-offensive name. I mean the way we get the juice out of those grapefruits it's pretty violent, but no one needs to know that, so the name won't conjure images of us putting all our weight onto cinderblocks and just mashing the daylights out of that citrus. The results do sure taste right nice though.

I didn't have faith in you when you wanted to use crystalline fructose and sucralose to sweeten it, but the way we mixed it all together, no one would ever be the wiser that this was a diet drink from the flavor. Well, I guess it's not too diet. There are still 25g of sugar in our 20oz bottles. That's much better than our competitors though, those guys use two to three times as much sugar as we do.

This is one fine pink grapefruit soda though. It tastes nice and crisp. It carries the sourness of the fruit nicely without making you pucker your lips. Also, kudos to you for calling it a “low calorie sparkling juice drink.” That makes it seem much fancier than calling it grapefruit pop.

In the era of the diet obsessed 80's Crystal Light reined supreme. For those of you who don't know it was/is a flavored, artificially sweetened powder that you would mix in with water to make your very own “healthy” drink at home. While they have come a long way in recent years, the original flavors tasted like poison to me. It was just one big pile of diet grossness.

The True company is following in the same footsteps, except they decided to make their product from 100% natural ingredients. Instead of sweetening them with aspartame or sucralose they opted for stevia. While that has made a world of a difference with their other drinks, I don't think this lemonade ever stood a chance. Lemonade by definition is sugar sweetened lemon juice and water. If you deviate from that at all things start falling apart. The flavor of the stevia is far too overpowering in this to an extent that it's a little hard to make out the lemon flavor. Instead of tasting like lemonade it ends up resembling a creation that was brought to life by some cheap skate teenager at a local Dennys. I've been there before, in my formative years. You order a water with lemon and then put sweetener in it to create your own dull version of lemonade. The problem is this particular restaurant had stevia packets instead of sugar and everything just went wrong.

Steaz has their heart in the right place, and for years they have been working at creating perfect harmony between soda and green tea. Unfortunately they are not quite there. I would never say any of their creations have been gross, and I had no problem drinking them, it's just that they never reach their potential. Tea pop should be the greatest thing ever, but they always see to fall short. The soda flavor is always far too light. I'd like to say that was because they were more concerned with the flavor of the tea, but that also gets lost most of the time. Take this drink for example; cola is one of the strongest flavors a soda pop can have, and there is no excuse for its weakness in this beverage. I want crisp, dark cola flavors. This tastes lighter than the most diet of diet bogus colas. The taste of the green tea is there, but it's muddied by the erythritol, which they used to sweeten this.

My final verdict is that while this is a completely acceptable beverage, it could be made much better if they either used cane sugar (it's a zero calorie beverage, so that won't happen) or make the cola flavoring stronger. I bet they could make it could even mask the sweetener. The tea flavor would probably be lost even more though. Let's get a team of scientists on this. I want this to be so good, and I know it can be.

Big Jak was a gambling man. He loved to play the ponies, roll the dice, and more importantly bet on the outcome of cards. Black Jack was his game. He loved it so much that he thought about starting to call himself “Big Black Jak,” but that just didn't sound right to him, cause…€¦well you know.

In his off time Big Jak spent his time developing beverages. He would spend hours and hours slaving away to get the balance of everything just right. The problem was that just like with the cards he always bet big. You see Big Jak may have loved black jack, but that does not mean he was any good at the game. He always bet everything he had, and had the dealer hit him, no matter what. He was so enamored with getting exactly 21 that he lost nearly every hand. This spilled over into his beverage making. The quantities of his flavorings were so high that it made them nearly undrinkable. Take this energy drink he worked on. It would have been nice to have a tasty non-carbonated energy drink that tasted like iced tea, but of course he had to go overboard. Even though he used sucralose, he used too much and it tasted so overly sweetened that you couldn't even make out the tea flavor. In addition to that he decided to add some artificial peach flavor to it that made it just plain awful. Never before has a fruit flavoring existed that tasted so fake.

Sadly, shortly after the release of this beverage Big Jak's bookies came looking for him and things did not bode well for him. That is why we talk about Big Jak in the past tense.

Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Professor. Wait…€¦what? I thought we were a group of esteemed physicians here giving each other nice salutations. Now there's this professor in the mix. He doesn't even have a doctorate, just a measly masters degree. Like someone with an inferior education to us could ever show us a thing or two about a thing or two. Fine, I'll try your stupid soda that you created with your lower level education. Hmm, this is actually…€¦kind…€¦of…€¦good. I didn't expect that. I saw the cherry on the can and I didn't even process the implications of the name you gave it, since you know I have a doctorate and I need not pay attention to lowly professors. This isn't cherry at all, not even black cherry. Okay, I lied there's cherry in there, but it's the way that my college over there Dr. Pepper has cherry in it. It's a close facsimile to his product, but why would the market need this? Wait you're telling me there is no sugar and zero calories in this beverage? How can that be so, it doesn't taste like diet poison?!?! It's sweetened with erythritol and stevia? Well then, I really wish you possessed that sheet of paper that would allow me to be friends with you because you have created one heck of a beverage there. I normally detest all things diet, but this really tastes wonderful. I don't know how you've done it. Perhaps we can get Pepper's degree transferred over to you for your scientific breakthrough in the world of soda. He's been working on cracking this code for decades and has never even come close to your products.

So you don't like oxidants, huh? Do you, or 99% of the population even know what they really are? I'm pretty sure I don't. I know that they have something to do with being sick, and ingesting antioxidants helps to stave off said sickness, but that's as far as my knowledge goes. Even though I don't know the science behind it, I can tell you a lot of fruits that are high in antioxidants. It just so happens that all three fruits mentioned in the name of this beverage fall into that category. What we have here is a naturally flavored sparkling water that is rich in antioxidants and vitamins, or so the company tells us. I have to interject and say, sure there is sparkling water in here, but once you add this much flavoring and sweetener (albeit zero calorie) it ceased to be water in my eyes.

Do you want to know more about how this drink tastes? Well, it tastes like a diet Vitamin Water with bubbles in it…€¦a lot of bubbles. If this wasn't diet, I think I could get behind it more, as the flavor is fairly decent. Actually, if they had used erythritol or stevia to sweeten it I would probably enjoy it more. The sucralose just makes it unmistakably diet in a way that I can't handle as much as I try.

We've been hard on ol' Rob in the past and he has been very good to us. I should say, and we should say more often, that they gave us these drinks to try and they are glass, plentiful, and heavy so that was probably no easy task. It's hard to dis companies that are so nice to us that might put out not-so-good drinks. Credit where credit's due, Rob's is pushing the envelope when it comes to some of his flavors and he has to know that they're not going to be for everyone.

Now, on to this coconut water. Everyone knows the pains of coconut water. You have to drink it when it's ice cold otherwise it gets chalky and gross. Append that to the fact that they use Erythritol and you could have a dangerous mix on your hands. Was Rob able to man the wild horses, save the town and get the girl? Yes. Rob rode the blackest steed in all the land, tamed it and then fed it a friggin' carrot. He gave the bad guy a wedgie and also took his lunch money. He got the girl and the girl had a ten face, ten body and liked playing video games. This might be the best coconut drink I've ever had. It's got a good mix between real coconut and candied coconut shavings you would get on an ice cream or a Mounds bar. The Erythritol just kind of cools it all down while sweetening it up.

Rob deserves a pat on the back and all the gold in the land for taming that beast.

If I had endless amounts of money, or even a handful of expendable income, I would try to recreate this drink using some classic science. Here is what I would do:

Step 1: Get a dozen oranges and a dozen mangoes.
Step 2: Court a lovely chemist.
Step 3: Gain the chemist's trust.
Step 4: Convince the gorgeous chemist to let me have a bucket of liquid nitrogen, "You know. For science."
Step 5: Put all the oranges and mangoes in a bowl.
Step 6: Pour the liquid nitrogen into the bowl to instantly freeze the fruit.
Step 7: Smash up the fruit using something like a hammer or a clean shoe.
Step 8: Put the fruit dust into a bottle with water.
Step 9: Put a pack or two of Stevia into the bottle.
Step 10: Stir and drink.
Step 11: Get broken up with because that was not "for science" and I am a "liar."
Step 12: Shrug it off.

Until then, I will have to just buy this like some sort of civilian. I have no problem with that since this isn't half bad. It's a Stevia sweetened mango and orange juice. It cannot be reviewed any differently than that. It is pretty truthful to it's fruit roots. Fruit root. That's fun. This, science aside, is a good drink. I've had two or three of them myself and might be slightly disappointed when they are all gone. That might be the most significant part of the review. It's that good. Fruity and not overwhelmingly Stevia'd. Fruity rooted.

Popeye and the crew from Sweet Haven are back with their first foray into diet energy drinks. You see everyone thought that Wimpy had put on a bit too much weight with all his cheeseburger conniving ways. Seriously, how long does one man expect to live when all he consumes in beef patties smothered in cheese? Since his blood work came back last month he's been on a kale diet. He claims that it doesn't give him enough energy to make it through all of the whining he has to do on a daily basis, so they formulated him this lemon mint beverage. Being the health conscious team that they are, they help back on using taurine and it's friends and stuck to vitamins and caffeine. Also knowing that their friend was doomed to some burger related cancer they didn't want to speed on they also chose to sweeten the drink with erythritol/stevia.

The results of it all are a nice lemony beverage with notes of mint in it that aren't over powering. It has the stevia coolness to it, but with the lemon and the mint it's not bad at all. In fact it's fairly enjoyable, even for those of us who don't like diet drinks. Calories to flavor this can't be beat.

For those non-teetotalers out there, when my friend Steve tried this he instantly proclaimed that it would taste amazing as a mixer with vodka. This is a win-win-win for everyone right here.