Diet - 615 Reviews

Okay, so last time I did one of these I followed directions to a T and mixed it with water. I wasn't too pleased with the consistency that gave me, as it turned out a tad on the slimy side. This time I threw caution to the wind and mixed it with unsweetened almond milk. After spending far too long vigorously mixing this up, because I didn't have the recommended shaker ball, I took a sip. Definitely less slimy, but it's still so, so thick. I'm talking like baby food thick here folks. It does not have the consistency of something one would think of ingesting. It feels foreign in a from another world sort of way. It's like aliens visited us, and said, “Hey dummies, you're doing food wrong. This is much simpler. It's thick and weird, but it gives you what you need in less time with less fuss.” Stupid jerk aliens are always pointing out our shortcomings.

Consistency aside, this has a nice light vanilla flavor. It doesn't taste cheap, like a bunch of vanilla extract was dumped in. It tastes like quality vanilla, as if real beans were used. I can see where they are going with the ice cream tag. I appreciate that they are not trying to make a health shake taste exactly like an unhealthy thing. There's some stevia in the mix, which you can taste a bit, but this is a drink for health and not leisure, so it's understandable and acceptable.

It takes a few sips to get acclimated to, but once you get over the strange viscosity this is downright enjoyable for a meal replacement shake.

If you like pina coladas and songs about proposed infidelity then this is for you. Okay, maybe not the infidelity part, but like millions of people across this great land I can't think of this particular flavor and not get that dumb song stuck in my head. It's supposed to be playful and fun, but in reality it's about two people who believe they are in a loveless relationship that set out to cheat on their partners only to end up together again. The action may not have taken place, but they were both ready willing and able to have relations with whomever was waiting for them. That is dark folks.

Luckily this drink will lighten your spirits. Cascade Ice is the only company I know who has made sucralose palatable. Sure, they haven't done away with the diet flavor completely, but it's masked nicely. This is a mostly pineapple soda, with a little coconut here and there. If the flavors were reversed I probably wouldn't want anything to do with this, but it all falls in line nicely. This is a great option for those of you watching your calorie intake. As far as I know the company also doesn't condone going behind your partners back for some extra loving. That's a plus as well.

I don't know what relaxing about struggling to stay awake. I drank maybe about 50% of a serving and all I want to do is sleep. That's not relaxing. I wish you could see me type. Every other word needs to be deleted and respelled because my hands are so tired. You know when you close your eyes for a second and wake up like thirty seconds later and you don't know what's going on. That feeling is this in a bottle.

How does it taste? Diet. It's not good. The limited ingredients make whatever magic in here that much more potent. I'm telling you. I wish you could see me struggling. I'm mad at myself for drinking it because now all I want to do is sleep. It's twenty to eight at night and I might have to just call it for the day.

All my life I have been told that men and women were created equally. Okay, except in those religion classes I took as a kid where they said man was created in god's image and then woman was made from man's rib. That's a pretty crappy deal for women. Lucky for them it's all make believe and stories, even I realized that before I was out of elementary school. So yeah, we're created equal. Then H10O comes along and tells us that men and women need different formulations of vitamins. Someone here is a liar, or just misinformed.

I'm not really that dumb. I mean I'm an idiot, but I have some intelligence. I know that certain vitamins and minerals are more effective for the different sexes. The real problem here is that this company is supplying those vitamins in a vehicle that tastes like crappy diet garbage.

This is a non-carbonated orange beverage that basically tastes like Tang that is rich in vitamins as well as caffeine and guarana. It wouldn't be so bad except the grossness of sucralose ruins it all. I appreciate that there is no sugar and no carbs in this, but as a society haven't we learned that there are better tasting alternatives in the world of zero calorie sweeteners? This drink had no chance of being exceptional, but it could have turned out much better than it did.

So my computer up and died on me and here I am writing my first review on my new processor of ones and zeros. I would like to say that my old one fried because of this soda, but unfortunately that is not the case. Nothing again Begley or Bill, but I am simply not a fan of bananas at all, and to be honest I have been dreading drinking this. I fully expected to take a sip and want to spit it all over my computer in disgust, but you know what? These crazy folks someone made banana palatable, and in a diet version.

The secret to their success is that this doesn't taste like a gross mushy fruit. Instead it tastes like a not as sweet banana Runt candy with a little bit of caramel mixed in. This somehow doesn't taste diet at all, yet it has zero sugar and it's only 8 calories. They are truly onto something with this SweetenFX mixture they developed. It's healthy without having a specific taste that overpowers the real flavors of the soda.

If you are dumb and are a banana purist, this may not be for you, but if your taste buds work correctly and you find these yellow fruits to be utterly disgusting, don't write off this soda. This might be just what you need in your life.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Could one of you please clue me in as to when I started to actually enjoy the coconut flavor? I'm going to say for at least 30 years of my life it was the bane of my existence. Many a bake good were ruined with the shavings of this food stuff. Any beverage that it was associated with that I tried tasted like sun tan lotion to me. I simply hated it with every fiber of my being. Now here I am sipping on a sucralose sweetened coconut mango sparkling water, and flat out enjoying it. I don't know what has happened. Is there a tear in the fabric of the universe and I'm getting a glimpse of some opposite dimension? If me enjoying coconuts were the only thing this dimensional rift caused it would be the worst story line ever and would be too dumb for even a SyFy original movie.

I still hate toasted coconut, so not that much has changed, but I am enjoying this. There is mostly mango flavoring this thing (well mango and artificial sweetener), but there are nice little coconut tinges around the edges.

Actually let's ignore the whole coconut thing. The real question is how am I enjoying something that is sweetened with sucralose this much? I mean I wouldn't rush out to buy more, but I would happily drink it if someone handed me a bottle. It still tastes diet, but not in the classic gross way. That is the true accomplishment of this beverage. Stand proud Cascade Ice, you have made a breakthrough on two fronts.

If I know anything it's that this is a leftover promotional relic from the HBO show Dream On. To be fair, I don't know anything about said show. Up until now I thought that Larry Sanders was on it, which is apparently not true. There it is though, right at the top of the bottle, “Dream On.” Actually, maybe someone in Aerosmith owns this company. They did have that one song that sounded like nothing else in their catalog that had the same nomenclature.

Whoever is responsible, rock star or film star, they have come up with a decent shot beverage that doesn't taste too terribly disgusting. I mean with all shots there is a level of concentrate that causes the flavor to be a little off, but this has a nice berry flavor to it that tastes a bit like candy, even though it's sweetened with stevia. Since you would generally just slug this thing back I doubt anyone would even realize the stevia was there. It's more berry than poison-shot in the taste department, and there's not much else one could ask for. Oh it also definitely knocked me right out 10-15 minutes after downing it. I guess that functionality is something I could have asked for, and received.

Welcome to the international belching competition. This year we have a lot of top notch competitors and we're hoping to break some records for decibels and for length of belches. Before reigning champion Michelle Dowanowa produces the ceremonial first burp we'd like to announce that our sponsor for this years games is Rockstar Energy. Each of our contestants will be given a can of the new “Sparkling” line of Rockstar in order to produce the largest ball of gas that they can muster from their mouth.

Now I know what you're thinking, “Aren't all Rockstar drinks carbonated, why do they need a Sparkling line?” Well that would have been true a few short years ago, but since then the company has delved into teas, sports drinks and various other styles of beverages that are bubble free.

Let me tell you the reign of still energy drinks will come to an end as soon as you crack one of these cans open. They are one of the most carbonated drinks that this announcer has encountered in a long, long time. I took one sip and I was a regular Barney Gumble. We are all in for an auditory treat once the contestants down their cans.

Life is not all burps and games, and we are contractually obligated to give you a bit for information about these energy drinks. First off this is the least diet tasting, sucralose sweetened drink I have ever tasted. You can tell that something is up with the flavor, and that they didn't use real sugar, but it doesn't taste like diet first, and cherry citrus second. Overall the flavor is very light. The ridiculous amount of carbonation distracts from the flavor a bit, but that is what some people want. I can certainly think of times in my life where this would be exactly what I need to satiate me. A nice light cherry limeade with a little orange thrown into the mix.

Now if you will all stand as our team of past champions will burp the national anthem's of all of the participants home countries.

Oh you can't drive “double nickels on the dime?” When you say that do you mean that you always drive slower than the 55 mph speed limit, or are you a speed demon, a lead foot?

This is just dumb. What am I even trying to talk about here? Minutemen and Sammy Hagar references? Complete nonsense.

Let's get down to the real business. Hydrive is a diet, uncarbonated energy drink. Some of their other flavors seem to also be hybrids of energy and sports drinks, but there is no mention of electrolytes anywhere on this label, so I'm going to assume this is straight energy. Even if it's not a sports/vitamin supplement beverage, it still tastes like some version of diet vitamin water.

If there was one thing I thought I knew in this world it was that anything diet that was also peach flavored was doomed for failure. Those two components don't interact very well, but in here I don't hate it. I certainly don't love it, because I don't think I could ever love anything that contained sucralose, but I made it through the entire bottle with no complaints. It definitely has that fake peach flavor, but the mango softens it up a bit, and it's not insanely fake sweet. You can tell the fake sugar is there, but it doesn't fully control the flavor, like it does in a lot of drinks.

If you're on a diet you could certainly do a lot worse than this.

Our nation is in complete disrepair and although I'm not blaming it on the food industry, they aren't helping. Cutting corners has led to a fatter nation and the fact that this drink calls itself "Naturally Flavored Sparkling Mountain Spring Water" and contains 3% juice is not even worth mentioning. It's almost like you're eating the food that your child made you using their foam bread and plastic lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes. If you were wondering why America is so fat, you can easily sum it up with one word: Capitalism.

Faux food aside, this at least tastes good. It's zero calories and quite flavorful. It's pretty sharp and only quasi-diet tasting. It's sweetened with sucralose but apple juice is ahead of that so they're at least trying. This is cherry is pretty good but the limeade is kind of missing. I think that whatever is happening, namely the sucralose, is cutting into the flavor of limeade.

Everything is fake and we're now trying to find out what is the best of the worst. This isn't bad. On a diet or hate calories? This isn't bad. It's like a slightly less thick cherry pop.

I know very little of Jamaica. I mean so little that it's a little embarrassing. When you compartmentalize an entire country into reggae music and spicy foods you feel a bit like a small minded. Then someone like Levi Roots comes around who's entire world seems to be comprised of those exact two things, and you start to think, …€˜Man, was I right?” Then you feel even worse, so you just sit back and drink your soda and try to shut off your brain.

Roots was raised in Jamaica where his grandmother taught him how to cook and the surrounding culture taught him about music. I'm not well versed in reggae music, so I don't know how good his contributions to it are, but they sound fine enough to me. I would be more than happy to try his cooking, but his soda just doesn't do anything for me.

This is just an overly sweet soda. If it were a more common flavor it would pass as generic store brand. Since it is mango and pineapple it stands out a bit more. 5% of the total is made up of pineapple, mango and apple juice. While it's a low percentage it's still more than most companies, so this should be better than it is. Unfortunately, the added artificial sweeteners ruin it for me. Perhaps if there was a higher percentage of juice it would mask the flavor of the sucralose, but the flavor is on the weak side and that fake grossness just cuts right through.

“Like an ice cube made of glitter.” Feel free to use that as a tagline, Sparkling Ice. Yes, I know that it's terrible, but that is the first thing that pops in my head when I hear your companies name. Secondarily I think about people wearing oversized diamond encrusted jewelry that is neither tasteful, nor classy. Which would you rather be associated with? That's what I thought. Glitter cubes it is!

First you take some spring water and generously infuse it with carbon dioxide to make some nice bubbles. The result is carbonated water that is bland and boring and has that weird taste that I don't really comprehend. To mask that you add some grapefruit juice concentrate. This is the moment that I believe you should stop. It would be on the sour side of the street, but that's something that I would enjoy. I understand that this just wouldn't fly with most Americans though; they need some sort of sweetener added. The folks at Glitter Cubes decided to go the zero calorie route and added sucralose to the mixture. Normally the downfall of any drink that contains it, the sucralose isn't absolutely horrible in here. I'd go as far as to say that I don't really mind it, which is a miracle on it's own. Somehow the grapefruit flavor combats the chemical taste, and it's only briefly noticeable in the aftertaste. The fruit flavor is still intake, although not as strong and as bitter as it would be in its natural form.

This is far from the best thing I've ever drunk, but it is a nice option to have for those watching their sugar intake. I do think it's safe to say that Glitter Cubes are not the wave of the future. Possibly just a little swell of the now.

Hey just because you're a madman doesn't mean you throw your calorie intake to the wind. Some of those who are touched in the head want to live healthy lives; that is if their crazy antics don't kill them first. These people want to die from plummeting to death, or something else fun, not from obesity or a heart attack. Where would the fun be in that?

This has the same berry heavy fruit punch esque flavor as the original, except the sugar has been swapped out for the dreaded sucralose. Something in here counteracts the sucralose though and it doesn't taste like diet poison. Although that is something that a 51-50 person may dabble in.

Dear Slim Fast,
What is your name in reference to? Does it mean that by drinking your meal replacements one will lose weight quickly? Or perhaps you means that you will drink this and then refrain from eating other foods aka fasting? Perhaps it's a combination of the two. Whatever your origin story, I think it's a good choice for a moniker for a beverage that is supposed to help one lose weight.

Is it a good flavor name though? Creamy Milk Chocolate? I initially thought no, because I prefer dark chocolate so much more to milk chocolate. I then remembered that I'm a snob and a majority of the world loves milk chocolate, and referring to it as creamy is enticing. Bitter Dark Chocolate just doesn't have the same allure. I mean, I would be all over a drink named that, but I'm a maniac apparently.

The name is very appropriate for the flavor. This is very creamy and very chocolaty. This is what I wish chocolate milk were like. It's a little thicker than milk, due to the protein, but the flavor is also stronger. I would happily drink this instead of eating. Problem is I drank this about an hour ago and I am already hungry again. I think I need to starve myself so that my stomach shrinks down. I eat way too much food.

Marco was a child who could stand to lose a few pounds. His life was spent watching television and playing video games. In fact the only times he left the house were when his mom forced him to go to school and on Fridays aka allowance day, when he would take his weekly pay for nothing and head to the corner store to stock up on candy. It was the happiest day of the week for Marco. Not only was he free from school for two days but also his sugar intake would soar.

There was no doubt about it; Marco was a Wonka man. Nearly all of his money went to buy that company's confectionaries. This past allowance day, Marco waddled down to the corner store and was decided what candies to buy this week when a display caught his eye. Spree sparkling water? Could it be that Mr Wonka had expanded his line and made a liquid version of one of Marco's favorite treats? He quickly grabbed a pile of Nerds, Laffy Taffy and Runts before he grabbed a bottle of Lemon Strawberry Spree. He was so excited that he dropped his change all over the counter. After the monetary exchange was complete he ran out side, sat on the curb and twisted open the cap. This…€¦was…€¦not…€¦what…€¦he…€¦expected…€¦at…€¦all. The contents of the bottle did not taste like liquefied candy at all. It was nice and bubbly, but it had a weird taste, that was almost diet but not like the diet pop his mom chugged all the time.

He was a bit disappointed, but since he had limited income he didn't want to waste his purchase, so he kept sipping on it during his walk home. Somewhere around the 3rd or 4th sip he realized that he didn't mind the diet taste, which he learned was called stevia. Actually he was kind of getting into the drink. Sure it wasn't candy-like, but it was sweet in it's own way, and not as thick as the sodas he was used to drinking. The dietness of it ran most of the flavor, but underneath that was a bit of a strawberry lemonade flavoring.

By the time he got home the bottle was empty, and Marco didn't feel cheated by his purchase. This was something he enjoyed that he could get his mom to buy because he could convince her it was healthy. Now if he could just convince her that his MMO games were good for him as well, and that school was evil, all would be right in the world.

Martha, I have zero idea as to why you keep buying me these diet drinks. I'm not fat, I'm just your average middle-aged man size and there is nothing wrong with that. I am comfortable in my body, as I hope you are in yours. I mean you don't see me going around ordering you salad when we go out do you? That would just be rude. If you want to eat that cookie-sunday explosion, you go for it. It's your life and you should enjoy it, just as I am going to enjoy my life in a way that is free from the poison diet taste.

Oh what's that? You didn't buy me this because you think I need to lose weight? You like my little paunch? Well isn't that adorable. Why though, why do you keep buying these Lifewaters and put them in my lunch. They taste delicious? I doubt that. You see it says right there “0 calories” on the label. In my world that means this might be better for you but it's going to taste horrendous.

Fine I'll take a sip if it will make you happy. Well Martha, I owe you an apology. This is pretty darn good. It's very light tasting. I can tell that it's diet, but it's not the normal flavor I associate with things of that nature. It's kind of hidden in the back, right there with the acai. That is actually odd because acai is such a powerful flavor most of the time. Don't look at me like that, yes I know what acai is and what it tastes like. Just because I work construction doesn't mean I'm a complete dufus. I like to get a fancy juice every now and then. That's not important though. This has a nice raspberry flavor with some acai hints around the edges. Like I said the taste of the stevia is somewhere below that.

I don't know how Sobe did it, but I will definitely be sipping on these at work now. Not only does it taste good but it's guaranteed that none of the other guys will steal it from me. Those jerks. Seriously though honey, are we getting some cookie-Sunday explosions or what. I've been thinking about it the entire time we've been talking about these drinks. Yes I know we'll have to drive a half hour to the restaurant, but I want what I want and what I want is hot fudge drizzled over a giant soft cookie with seven different types of ice cream below it.

While I was growing up my grandmother ate a lot of yogurt. In fact her and her friends were the only people I ever knew to eat yogurt. I would try it occasionally and it was simply not for me. Then something happened and yogurt became in vogue. It more than likely had to do with health benefits and people finally caring about what they put into their bodies, but suddenly the yogurt section in the store grew greatly. I mean I know that in other cultures yogurt is around all the time and everyone eats in, but for a kid who grew up on the edge of the suburbs and the Irish part of the city, it just wasn't around in the eighties.

Since yogurt has gained a greater presence I have come around to it. I actually eat one every other day or so, I am a bit picky with what flavors I'll eat though. Plain yogurt has a bit of a sour taste to it, that can be masked nicely by some flavors and that is what I lean towards. A mixed berry, fruit on the bottom is my yogurt of choice.

This bottle is pretty much a more liquefied plain yogurt that has been sweetened with stevia. The all-natural sweetener doesn't quite do the same job of covering up the natural sourness as actual sugar does. Instead you get the sourness as well as that specific stevia taste. I mean it's way better than if they had used sucralose or something like that, but it there is still a very distinct additional flavor. This is like a diet lassi drink. On top of all of that, the vanilla flavoring isn't very strong.

This drink is high in protein, contains probiotics and it is fat/gluten free. It's got some pluses going for it, but unfortunately the flavor isn't quite where I want it to be. To summarize, this tastes like a whipped up yogurt that has been very lightly flavored with vanilla and it was sweetened with stevia, whose flavors lingers for a bit to long. If you have an aversion to yogurt stay far away from this, as I assume it amplifies everything you dislike about it. It you're a card carrying member of Team Yogurt dig right in my friend.

I don't know what they were working on at the National Institute of Mental Health, but things seem to have gone awry. The scientists there were using rats as test subjects, but something happened and the rodents gained incredible intelligence. Before long they were performing their own experiments while the humans were away. Led by their leader, the newly proclaimed “professor” Jonathan Frisby, the rats developed a powder that would make them stronger and even more intelligent. It works by improving mental clarity while being full of anti-oxidants. There was no sugar in it, and most importantly for the little fuzzballs, it supported joint health.

The rats had nearly perfected their formula then disaster struck. The humans came in to make up hours on the weekend. The rats scurried back into their cages, but they did not have time to collect their formula and the scientists discovered it. They assumed it was something another team was working on and for some reason ingested some, because you know that is what you do in a laboratory where you test things on rats. They discovered that when mixed in water the powder had a berry flavor that kind of also tasted like grape. One of the scientists boldly stated that he could taste the stevia in it, and it was goon to see that nothing artificial was used in its creation. They agreed that it was pretty strong, even when watered down a lot. Also, one of them pointed out that it didn't really dissolve well in the water. No matter how much they stirred it some of the powder congealed into a sludge like substance at the bottom of the glass. When they tasted it, it was like an intense diet Pixie Stix. Since there was no label on it to denote what team created it they decided to steal it for their own and sell it as a energy drink mix that had additional health benefits.

Man, were those rats pissed. Some would say they were mad…€¦ehhh? While they wallowed in their defeat two of the smaller rats conferred in a corner. When one asked what they were going to do now, the other responded with “The same thing we do every night, Pinky …€“ try to take over the world.” Several animated classics were based on these real life events. Sadly all of the rats diet due to other experiments and their famines received no royalties.

Ed Begley Jr's sense of self-satisfaction is a wonderful thing. He uses it to power his go-cart in order to not hurt Mother Earth. He also uses it to sweeten his sugar free sodas. He's a modest man though, so he told them to put on the label that it's actually sweetened with a blend of erythritol, stevia and natural flavors, but we know the truth here at Thirsty Dudes. I mean, we are professionals and I think we would be able to taste those sweeteners, but their flavor is missing from this drink, so it simply must be self-satisfaction that is sweetening this soda. There is a taste there, but it's something I'm unfamiliar with (apparently I've never experienced self-satisfaction) and it tastes much better than the sodas contemporaries.

You know what, this man deserves these special powers. Forget about all of the work he has done on behalf of the environment, just look at his acting work. He is a man who has made me laugh way more than most, with not nearly as much recognition as chumps who go for cheap jokes and become mega stars.

Now on top of making us laugh and trying to save the planet for people who are too stupid to care about it, he and his partner Bill have created a line of sugar free sodas that are only 8 calories and don't taste anything like diet trash. I'm pretty sure you could pass this cream soda off as a normal pop and 99.9% of the people who drank it would have no idea that it was diet. That, my friends, is true magic in the beverage world. It's nice and smooth, like a cream soda should be. The flavor isn't striving for anything new and crazy. It simply wants to be a normal cream soda that is healthier for you than the junk most people throw into their food holes daily. Begley, Bill, you have succeeded. This is wonderful, and I think if it got into the hands of more people we would have an epidemic. Then again people have crazy loyalty to their soda of choice for some dumb reason, even when much better products are available to them.

Don't tell Jay I'm drinking this. While he's on a juice cleanse provided to us by our friends over at Love Grace, I get to eat solids. I'm not bragging. Heck, if we would have gotten more, not only would that company been twice as generous, but I would have done it. I would have missed out on things like awful, reheated chicken fingers, fries, carrots, a Mediterranean wrap and a heckload of almonds. Jay and I eat copious amounts of almonds.

This drink though, throttled down to only eight calories with no trace of "diet." Not only is Mr. Begley an environmentalist, he's also got quite a palate on him because this is a fine, fine cherry cola. It's not just a cherry pop. This is split right down the middle between a cola and a cherry pop. It's very refreshing and is not at all gross. I didn't know it was only eight calories until I "guilt checked" the calorie count and couldn't believe it.

Ed and whomever Bill is, you guys must keep right on this path because you have stumbled onto something that many have tried and almost that many have failed. Your proprietary SweetenFX is a success in my book and I hope that you, Ed, make enough to take this company totally off the grid and make it fully sustainable. See? We know about people. You should know that I constantly think about putting solar panels and adding wind power to my house. The thought of me thinking of you when I think about making my house a net zero house.