Other/Weird - 154 Reviews

Grandma, thanks a lot for inviting me and Bobby over for dinner. It was very nice of you. I know your eyesight isn't that great anymore so if there is anything I can do to help, let me know. Yeah, I can carry this turkey in the other room. What else? Scalloped potatoes? You've got it. Bobby, can you get the carrots and the peas?

Yeah, dude. I love corn, too. I don't know why she didn't make any. She wasted the time to make lima beans and that time would have been better spent making corn. I might just do it. Man, I love corn. I saw this weird thing on her counter. Did you see it? Do you know what I'm talking about? It was in a bit pitcher. It was purple and had little seeds in it. I don't know what she did there. I hope that her eyes didn't deceive her when she was making something and she mixed a whole bunch of stuff together like we used to and then dared each other to drink it.

What was that grandma? Yeah, I'll have something to drink. Whatever is fine. So Bobby, what do you want to do after this? Do you want to play that new Sonic game? It looks awesome. Oh no. Dude. She's...oh no. Thanks grandma. Dude, she brought us two heaping glasses of that stuff. What is this, Bobby? Hey, grandma? What is this? It smells good but it looks kind of weird. Oh, just drink it and we'll like it? Well, can't say you aren't anything less than a wonderful salesman...er...saleswoman. Sales lady? Dude, we've got to drink this. It's grandma. I'll go first because I'm older.

Oh that's strange. It's actually good, Bob. It's like raspberry Jell-O. Why anyone would want to drink that I don't have any idea, but it's there and she made it and we've got to drink it. What are those seeds? You can't taste them, but they're there. Grandma? What are the seeds in this drink? Chia Seeds? Like the same things that are used in Chia Pets? Why would you put it in a drink? Oh, for your B.M.'s. Fantastic, that should make the rest of this dinner, which I have a giant, untouched plate of, taste delicious.

Well Bobby...prepare for a strange dinner, great tasting but oddly textured drinks, and award winning poops later, brother. I call the bathroom first.

Job was a sad man. Generally sad. Depressed sad. It's nothing that he could do or change. It was a chemical imbalance that, through no fault of his own, caused him to cry constantly. The only thing that would make him happy was to eat edamame by the barrel. He would go to sushi restaurants and order three servings of it himself before he had the money to buy a steamer of his own. He would always have some dessert, too. He loved his sweets.

One day, Job had just drank a glass of water and eaten his sixth serving of edamame. He didn't have any money to keep the soybeans a-flowin' so, naturally he began to cry. He cried harder than he had ever cried before. While he was crying, the waitress brought him over the check and a piece of candy to cleanse the palate a little bit. He sadly ate the candy, which, by the way, is the worst way to eat sweets. He cried so hard that a constant stream of tears rushed down his cheeks and into his cup of water. He got up and paid the bill and went home to continue on his sad day.

The waitress, who was a bit off in the head, saw what had happened and saw where the liquid in the glass came from. She looked at it, saw that it was a little thick, and a little milky, and she did the unthinkable and drank some of Job's tears. While she didn't hate it, she thought that it was good enough to market. She called Job in as she had been in there enough times that they were on a first name basis. She told him to make more because she was going to bottle it and sell it. He thought it was gross that she drank it but he was happy that he made something that someone enjoyed so he ate soybeans on the house and cried into multiple open containers. The waitress bottled them and sold them at the restaurant. They didn't sell many because they were labeled as "Job's tears" but the ones that were sold, we enjoyed. People said that the drink tasted like watery, slightly sweetened, soybean juice.

Job was happy that all of his sadness made some people happy and he could at least make money crying all day. The waitress made a new friend, Job, who ended up being her business partner for a long time. The people who frequented the restaurant were deranged because they literally and voluntarily drank someone's sorrow.

I've got to say that Dunkin' Donuts is pretty good when it comes to drinks. We don't review a lot of chain restaurant drinks, but it doesn't break the Thirsty Dudes rules so we don't have a reason why we wouldn't. Their sweet tea is pretty good. Their frozen hot chocolate is good but terrible for you. Their Coolatta's are disgusting, or at least the one that I had wasn't good.

When I saw a commercial for mint hot chocolate, I thought that it would be delicious and that I needed it. Commercials don't really work on me, but it's like they saw me coming with that one. I got it today, a respectful medium, and promptly drank it, burning my tongue in the process. For the record, that does not affect my review, just my weekend.

It tastes like regular, decent hot chocolate, but the mint isn't overwhelming. You know when you put a candy cane in your hot cocoa? That would be mintier than this. I believe that Tim Horton's just puts one starlight mint in your hot cocoa, charges you for it, and leaves you with a mediocre version of this drink. Would I get it again? Eh, maybe. If I'm in the mood. The fact that it's less than a week from December and it's almost sixty degrees outside makes me not want to drink hot things yet so planning ahead with regards to hot drinks and soups are kind of out of my mindset. I wouldn't tell anyone not to get it though.

Let me tell you the tale of Chia Steve. His cousin Joe is the founder of the Chia Pet empire. The fortune that he amassed during the late 70's an the 80's was enormous. We're talking Scrooge McDuck money here, like swimming pools full of money-money. You're probably thinking "Well good for him. He had a great idea and he ran with it and it paid off." Chia Steve would break your thumbs if he heard you say that. Steve was, and I guess still is, a botanist. Early in his career he came across the salvia hispanica (chia plant for you non-scientists out there). He became obsessed with how easily the seeds germinated and it was his life goal to discover all of this plants secrets. He spent so much time with the chia plants that the seeds would often get lodged in his unruly beard. It was at Thanksgiving 1976 when Steve went to his family dinner. He had been up all night with his plants and had yet to sleep. He didn't have much time so he just jumped in the shower to rinse off. Steve didn't realize that there were a whole mess of seeds in his beard and by the time dinner rolled around they had begun to sprout on his face. The entire family, including Steve, had a good laugh about it. He gave everyone a quick lesson on the plant and then ate his weight in mashed potatoes and stuffing. Steve had no idea that Joe was even paying attention until six months later when Chia Pets hit the market. Joe wouldn't even return Steve's calls and the infamous "Chia Court" battles ensued. It really broke poor Steve's mind grapes and he became a bit of a shut in.

A few year ago his sister finally got him to open his door to her. She came over weekly to drop off food, and clean up the place a bit. Once she got grossed out because she thought thousands of tiny spores had sprouted in one of Steve's juice glasses. It took quite a while for him to convince her that they weren't spores and were in fact chia seeds. He had been adding them to his morning juice for years for their health benefits. That was the moment that turned Steve's life around. His sister convinced him to market this juice. He was reluctant at first until she convinced him they would give cousin Joe a run for his money. Thus Mamma Chia was born.

Their flagship flavor was the cherry lime. It's weird because in a world obsessed with mojitos whenever you taste lime you expect the cool crispness of mint to follow. That is not the case with this beverage. Instead you are met with the tartness of cherry juice. It's not a combination of juices that I could drink a lot of, but the seeds really work with it. They are coated with some sort of gelatinous casing that makes them go down smooth. It's almost frothy feeling. The taste of the lime and the cherry mixed in with the entertainment of the coated seeds make this a tasty and interesting beverage. Here's to hoping that Chia Steve will soon be diving into Olympic swimming pools full of gold doubloons.

ps. Everything stated above with the exception of how awesome the drink tastes is a complete fallacy. Sincerely, Known Liar Jason.

For your viewing pleasure and enjoyment. I have drank and video'd my review for 7 Eleven's very own "Essence of Chicken." Watch the video and let me drink this for you.

John Goodman is a man amongst men. I have never seen him in a role that I didn't absolutely love. Keep in mind that I don't think I've seen anything he's done since the early 2000's. He may be the most famous for his roles as Dan Conner and Walter Sobchak (which are both incredible), but for my money there is never a better moment of him on the silver screen than when he states "You just got your asses whipped by a bunch of goddamn nerds.....NERDS!" I think that might be the most commonly said phrase by Editor Dan. Incredible. It's because of that speech that I told the other Thirsty Dudes that I was going to review this drink.

The NERD company stresses that their product is not just an energy drink, it is also a focus drink. On top of your normal energy drink chemical ingredients it also has Vinpocetine, Huperzine-A, Chinese Ginkgo Biloba and DMAE in it, which are cognitive enhancers. I drank this can before I went to band practice today, and I wasn't even thinking about the focus part until I just sat down to write this. I think it actually really works. In hindsight I feel like I was way more focused on what I was playing. So it's got that going for it.

Now on to the fun stuff. As a scientist I can assure you that it is a scientific fact that most energy drinks taste like various melted down types of candy. It's something that I both hate and love about them. Now I know what you're thinking, and yes your dreams have come true. This does in fact remind me of liquefied Nerds candy. It may be a psychosomatic thing, but I had my ladyfriend try it and she also confirmed it. This is one tasty, tasty energy/focus drink. It's one of the best energy based drinks I've ever tasted. Also the company wants to be known as a study aid and avoids being associated with anything extreme or bar/club events. To quote them "Basically, if you want to study drink NERD, if you want party drink a Red Bull. " That is something I can get behind. Hopefully this will get the popularity it deserves. Like the company told us

Now in the eyes of your father, your maker and your coach: go get some NERD!

My dad brought this back from a work trip he took to Taiwan. I was both excited and disgusted at the thought of drinking this. We decided to surprise Jay with the drink and filmed the results.



As you could see, the drink is really slimy and has little chunks of mushroom in it. Jay and Mike thought it had a barley taste to it, but I found it to be more of a mushroom soup taste. None of the ingredients are in English on the bottle but I was able to find a description of the drink on the manufactures website:
"Features Description:
Carefully selected organic cultivation of fresh white back black fungus, including iron, calcium, and glial-rich protein, known as plant called bird's nest, to prevent high blood pressure, have stomach scavenger reputation, high in fiber to help slimming thin"

I'm assuming "have stomach scavenger reputation" is mistranslated by Google. I thought about giving it another try while writing this review, but just the smell of it made my stomach turn.

John Lennon informed the world that, "Happiness is a Warm Gun." According to the Be Happy company he got it all wrong. Happiness is in fact a cherry cordial, or at least a weird chemical facsimile. That is exactly what this little 2oz shot tastes like. At first I thought it was kind of gross, but then I thought about the candy and it made it go down much smoother.

I can't relax when there are things that need to be done. My new apartment is almost totally put together now, but there is still a handful of things to do, so I'm still on edge. I had a busy day Friday and when I got home instead of relaxing I just started working again and getting annoyed. I decided I needed to calm down and relax and enjoy myself. I drank this and I have to say it worked. I felt much better. I decided I should watch a feel good movie, but instead put on the remake of I Spit on Your Grave. While it may not have been the family blockbuster I was looking for, movies like that prove to me that I am not completely desensitized, and I appreciate that.

Yesterday we did this video review for Mamma Chia. That's right it has the same seeds in it that are in Chia Pets. With any luck I will grow a plant beard where my normal one is now.

It looks like it would be a pretty rough drink as there seem to be approximately 50 million seeds in each bottle, but they are covered in some sort of coating that makes them go down smooth. They actually give the impression of the drink being really frothy.

As far as flavor goes, it's pretty great. It has a very strong blackberry flavor. Actually the seeds kind of feel like someone systematically separated all of the "balls" from a berry.

When I was a young kid one of my favorite summer activities was to go to amusement parks. That really shouldn't be a shock because what kid doesn't love rides, games and awesome junk food? There were three different parks within an hour from Buffalo; Darien Lake (later became a six flags), Fantasy Island (always seemed smaller and kind of run down) and my favorite, Crystal Beach.

Crystal Beach was a twenty-minute ride across the border into Canada right on Lake Erie. I think it was always my favorite because it had everything that normal amusement parks had, plus it had it's own awesome beach with a rad pier. It also had one of the greatest roller coasters I have ever ridden, The Comet. You could ride it forwards or backwards. It was sheer magic to a little kid.

The other great thing to come from Crystal Beach is the regional drink Loganberry. It is a very thick juice that is a mixture of blackberries and red raspberries. It's so thick that it's almost like an uncarbonated soda. As a kid I absolutely loved the stuff. It was typically sold in glasses that were dispensed from those giant clear machines that constantly mixed the drinks. If I had any idea what they were called I would post a picture.

As an adult it's a bit thick to drink on any sort of regularity. Drinking it every once and a while definitely brings back fond memories. Like the time I won a giant stuffed Nerd (you know the guys on the candy box). Unfortunately the park closed down in 1989. I can't believe it was that long ago. Now it is just condos. I still go to that beach sometimes. The dilapidated boardwalk is sitting there in pieces waiting for kids to jump off the end into the deep water. I think I need to do that soon.

Prometheus Springs really has a niche and rule at it. Aside from ginger beer, no one dares compare to the heat that Mr. Springs brings to the table. They're pros and they know it. They've got the gall to burn people's mouths and have them crawling back for more.

I enjoy giving their drinks to unsuspecting people and having them take a normal chug just to watch their faces. I giggle when they look as if they just unknowingly ate rat poison or got shot, unsuspectingly, in the chest. Sometimes it's hard to get them to try it again with a sip rather than a chug strategy.

This new line is tamer, I feel, than their previous line. It's way more approachable and I think they toned it down a titch. I find this new line more drinkable from beginning to end a lot easier. I haven't seen it on the shelves yet, but as soon as it does, you've got yourself a little sweet and spicy treat. The flavor is great, too. A real good, smooth mango taste and it's just sweet enough that you could probably grab another if you wanted. If you didn't know, you would have no idea that it's going to take your throat for a vicious trip down a lemon juice rain, razor blade hallway. I all of a sudden want to draw what that looks like. Could someone create a flash game where you have to walk through a razor blade hallway with lemon juice raining down through the sprinkler system? If you make it to the end, you win. You lose by incurring a certain amount of pain. When your pain bar reaches full, you have to go to a fat nurse like the one you had in your high school, and she's got a terribly short skirt and you think you can see "it" but you can't be sure.

Why oh why did I read the ingredients on this before I took a sip? I was so excited about it. Lemon ginger is a great flavor, and I've been a fan of the other probiotic drinks I've had. There is something that I am absolutely not a fan of and that is vinegar. Yes I eat salsa by the jarful. Yes I know that vinegar is one of the main ingredients in it, but salsa doesn't taste like vinegar....at all. It tastes like magic.

As you may have guessed apple cider vinegar is the third ingredient listed on the label. Ugh. I ruined it. Everyone else that tried this said they didn't taste vinegar at all, but I had it on the mind so there it was front and center for me. Okay not front and center, but there was a hint of it. It also smelled like the dye you use to color Easter eggs to a lesser extent. Apparently I am insane because as I said no one else thought that at all.

Other than the "hint of vin" this is pretty good. Even though it's not carbonated, it tastes like it is. Yes to me carbonation has a flavor. This has it. Let's move on. It tastes like a lemon soda mixed with ginger ale (minus the bubbles). That is nothing like I expected it to taste. I was expecting a decently strong ginger with a very tart lemon. Nope. Wrong again. If I could just get passed my hatred of vinegar and the ghost of it that lives in this bottle, only haunting me, I would be able to enjoy this as a healthy organic beverage that tastes like it was neither healthy nor organic. That is a good place to be.

While passing this drink around the office, I received mixed results. Everyone said it was good, but I think that they wanted it to be thicker. Look, I would love to try a thicker version of this drink, but if Honest wanted a thicker drink, they would have made it, so drop it already. Jeez! So this drink, I like it. It's got a good dark chocolate bitter taste. It really tastes like a really dark chocolate candy bar. The mint lingers at the tail end, almost like an Andes mint that you would get after a delicious steak dinner. Oh, you're vegan? Do vegans eat steak? No? Fair enough. After a nice meal of a salad and a side of carrots since the restaurant that I took you to has a limited menu. I'm sorry. I didn't make it up. It's not my fault that they don't cater to people that don't eat anything from animals. It's a steakhouse. Why did you even agree to come? Come on. Let's go get you some cereal or something.

This has been sitting in my fridge waiting for the perfect moment to drink it. It sounded incredible. The Honest company has a history of making amazing drinks, so when I learned that they made a chocolate line I was very interested. I'm not a huge fan of coffee, but I have enjoyed every Mocha that I've ever tried. You know Mocha, hot chocolate with a little kick. I hardly consider it coffee. It's more of a chocolate drink with a little coffee added.

Since today is supposed to be the so-called rapture, I decided it was now or quite literally never. I guess that's not true. If it were the rapture all of the good Christians would be raised up to heaven while my friends and I had some more time left to suffer on Earth. I would celebrate that suffering with a whole mess of drinks. Seeing as it's all a fairy tale anyways I will drink this mocha cacao in celebration of me being intelligent enough to realize that angels aren't going to come carry people away today.....or ever.

On first smell this has a weird scent. Almost like the chocolate milk that is left in the bowl after you eat some Coco Puffs, but stronger. I took a sip, and this was not what I was expecting at all. It was as if they melted down baking chocolate, watered it down and added two shots of black coffee. First you're hit by the watery baking chocolate taste. It's bitter, but not the good bitter like when you get some quality dark chocolate. As you hold it in your mouth that flavor stays, but as soon as you swallow and take a breath the coffee sets in. I always find it odd when drinks have distinct waves of flavor. In some juices it's nice, but for this it's not working for me. I would have preferred this all blended into one tight flavor.

I really, really wanted to like this, but to be honest I couldn't make it through half of the bottle. I had expected a richer chocolate taste. If you really like coffee maybe it will be something you really enjoy. I'll pass it off to an angel if I see one today.

There are three out of print beverages that are the holy grail to me. They are Crystal Pepsi, Ecto Cooler and Orbitz. Seeing as I am a nerd I refer to them as the three pieces of the Tri-Force. I paid $14 on this bottle of Orbitz and I don't regret it a bit. Clearly Canadian stopped making this drink in 1996, so this is at least 15 years old. We expected vomit, but it actually wasn't too bad. I used to drink cases of this stuff when it was first discontinued. A store by me blew them out at a quarter a piece. You can't beat that.

Check out this video review we did of this mystical beverage. Due to some weird file conversion the video looks like we shot it in the year this drink was put on the market with a huge VHS video camera.

Corn is by far my favorite vegetable. There are others that I may enjoy, but those other vegetables just aren't as versatile. Sure asparagus is delicious when it's cooked in garlic, but would it work on a burrito or in chili? Okay, I would probably eat that and think it's great. My point is that corn is incredible on it's own with no seasoning, but it also can make almost any meal better. One of the many important life lessons that I learned from Pee Wee's Big Adventure is that there are thousands and thousands of uses for corn, and Tina from the Alamo would be happy to list them all for you. Corn in salsa? Oh god yes. I feel cheated when it's not in there. Through my mass consumption of corn I have never once considered drinking it. That is until this magic bottle of goodness ended up in my possession.

It's Fall. Everyone has their decorations hanging up. A lot of people have dried out colored corn on their walls and doors. As a kid I always wondered why people used to paint their corn. I was little and an idiot. I am now less of an idiot and know that it grows that way. Being as I was an idiot when I was young (how many times can I say that in a review?) I of course tried to eat the colored corn. Bad scene. It does not taste like the corn I am used to, especially since it's all dried out. I later became to associate that corn with what was fed to animals. Now Simply Originals has come around to yet again throw my world into upheaval. They have turned the purple corn, or maize, into a very refreshing beverage.

In Peru chicha morada is a traditional homemade drink. I will tell you this for free: the people of Peru know what they are doing when it comes to beverages. One of their great ancestors was thirsty as hell some hot summer day. He was tired of all of the water he was consuming and decided to mix everything he had laying around the house into a bottle and drink it down. It's lucky for us that he only had water, purple maize, sugar, pineapple, clove and cinnamon. Imagine if he had some meat juice laying around. I assure you if that were the case I would have vomited all over this keyboard. Nobody wants that, especially my keyboard. Seeing as he didn't have meat juice he created (maybe it was a lady of Peru and not a man. The gender was lost a long time ago) what it a refreshing harvest time drink. After a long day of sweating out in the Peruvian corn fields wouldn't it be nice to come home and have your significant other pour you a nice tall glass of corn juice? If you said no, you are horribly mistaken.

I do have this one negative thing to still say about corn. Like Mrs. Tremond in Twin Peaks I will always request no creamed corn. I have a thing with textures.

How would one categorize this? It's not like anything I've ever had. I can't believe it's on the market by such a prominent company. I like Honest. They give the general public credit. No, not everyone has to drink sugary drinks. They are all over the place with tea, lemonade, and now this. It smells like a cherry cordial but tastes like watered down chocolate milk mixed with Maraschino cherry juice mixed in, you know, for fun. Thing is, it's not bad. It's got a little bitterness from the dark chocolate and a little fruit taste from the cherry. It's drinkable, though. If it had been thicker and richer, it would be too thick to drink a lot of. These are small bottles with low calories and it's different. I know, I know, redundant. I kept going back again and again and it didn't matter. It was always good and I can't wait to try the other flavors.

It's not a "safe" drink for a company to make and for that reason you should try it. Honest tea is taking a risk on people trying something new and for that reason, you should try something new. It's as simple as that.

This is the flavor I was saving for last, but I decided to do it now. I don't like plums at all. But strangely, I don't mind this taste. It's been a long time since I've had a plum, so maybe it's time I try them again. Mary Liz likens this to kombucha that is less fermented. Seeing as I hate kombucha and have only drank a few sips of it in my life, I can't really back this statement up. Like the other vinegar drinks, it doesn't taste like vinegar much when going down.

To quote Mary Liz: "For something that's good for you, this is pretty good."

I enlisted my friend Mary Liz to help me review some drinks today. We didn't know what to expect with this one, but since it has barley malt and hops in it we had a feeling it would taste like beer.

The smell, in a word, gross. It's really strong and sort of has a molasses hint to it. The taste isn't any better. Mary Liz says it tastes like rotting fruit and vegetable juice. I honestly can't figure out what it reminds me of, but it's too gross to drink anymore. It almost tastes like molasses that has been sitting out for a year. Mary Liz asked if we could give this drink a zero, but unfortunately we can't.

Well, well, well. What do we have here, a (semi) quenching drink from Prometheus Springs? Half of your mouth will love you. What is it about Gatorade that makes it so you can chug like 15 gallons before you need to breathe? Seriously, nothing goes down smoother than Gatorade and I don't know why. Don't give those electrolytes any more credit than they deserve. Man, I want a hot dog. So, look. I'm from Buffalo. We three Thirsty Dudes all are and soon we will be together again. I can speak from certainty when I say that I probably go through a gallon of Franks Hot Sauce annually. That's a lot. It might be more, I don't know. It's hard to be sure. Anyhow, once I heard that Prometheus Springs was releasing a cayenne pepper flavored drink, I knew I had to do it.

So I did it, and I was surprised. When I took my first sip, I was surprised at how "drinkable" it was. It was a really good orange taste. I don't know why they didn't call it "orange cayenne". I didn't get lemon or lime, but a lot of orange and it was good, truthful orange, like a mandarin orange or something. The orange flavor was easily drinkable, like Gatorade, hence my previous mentioning of said company. As anyone who has had a Prometheus drink before chugging is not only stupid, it is also dangerous. As expected, with any Prometheus Springs drink, there's going to be a burn somewhere along the lines, and at about 2 seconds it kicks in and you're hit with the pepper juice.

It's a great contrast and I would drink it again and again. It is not reminiscent of Franks Hot Sauce, but it may have been a bit gross if it was. I gave a sip to my girlfriend and told her to take a sip. She did, it burned her, she yelled at me, I called her a wimp, and we went to bed. That means it's a good drink and I'm a terrible boyfriend. The latter you already should know.