United States - 4098 Reviews

Question: Is it infused if it takes the color and flavor of the fruit? It seems like it's just a juice at that point.

Story: This is good. I saw it at an Aldi and left the line I was in while the people in front of me argued about bringing bags and the people behind me screamed at someone on the phone about how they're going to beat the hell of them when they see them. I'm painting a picture of what it's like to Aldi by me. Yes, it's a verb. I could not get out of there fast enough. It's not always like that but when it rains it pours.

Review: This is good. I'm at work after a long weekend just drinking some fruity juice water. It's good. Best of all, you can't really tell that it's fake sugar. I believe previously that you could. Perhaps they improved the recipe. From a drink standpoint it's good. I certainly get more cranberry than blood orange or even citrus at all. Did that make it lose points? Nope. It was still good. I would get it again. For the eleventh time, though, this is juice. Give Vitamin Water to a child and have a discussion about whether or not it's water or juice. Hint makes water with fruit essence in it. This is not that.

Hello, my name is Jason and I have an energy drink problem. It all started off with late night drives, and me grabbing a Red Bull or what have you to keep me awake. Then I was occasionally drinking them on long days of work to give me a push to make it to the end of the day. Before I knew it I loved the taste that I used to have to force myself through. I justified it to myself that it wasn't a regular occurrence and they were special treats for me. Then the turning point came. Over the course of the past two months Big Lots was blowing out different energy drinks for $.50 and $.33 respectively. I stocked up using the old adage that I would be losing money if I didn't. Then they were staring me in the face and instead of being a treat they became an every other day thing, now it seems it's every day. I keep telling myself that it's fine because the drinks I purchased got their energy from natural caffeine and vitamins, not weird chemicals. Now here I am and even though I drank one of my natural energy drinks a few hours ago I find myself in a gas station parking lot having purchased this Monster and I just don't give a rip. I will now blame it on my puppy. Have you ever had a couple month old puppy, they are a handful and wake up at the crack of dawn. My rise and shine time has been moved up a few hours and I'm still going to bed at the same time. I'm tired all the time. Of course it's not because I'm addicted to caffeine now (at least I hope). I'm just going to sit back and sip this can of deliciousness on this hot spring day.

I love these Rehab Monsters. Tea is one of my favorite beverages and mixing it with an energy drink, which I also apparently love now, is great. This has a combo of white and black tea in it, not too shabby. It also has a bunch of different fruit juices in it and that is where things get weird. This is supposed to be dragonfruit (or pitaya) flavored tea, but somewhere along the line the wires got crossed and it just tastes like lychee, which is somehow wonderful. I like dragon fruit, but the weird perfumey floral taste of this only makes me think of lychee. I'm guessing it has something to do with the white grape and dragon fruit comingling. I just hope other people enjoy this as much as I do so that it sticks around. Actually maybe it would be better for me if it bombs and this shows up at Big Lots for mere cents. I would instantly buy them all and then hit up the rest of the stores in an hour radius around me. Sorry Monster, but I have a new found addiction to feed and I might as well do it with your wonderful new flavor.

Amp started off as Mountain Dew's energy drink that was put out by Pepsico. The Dew logo may not be on the can anymore, but it's the same formula and I'm sure extreme dudes and dudettes are the largest customer base of this product. My point is that since the original Amp was basically Mountain Dew infused with taurine and the like, it stands that this is some sort of organic Mountain Dew flavor and now the world no longer makes sense to me. Mountain Dew is pretty much the definition of junk food to me and the fact that there is an organic version (in some form) it has turned everything upside down for me.

The flavors in here are orange, mango, and passionfruit. They are all present, but in a strange Mountain Dew sort of way. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like they made three separate Dews, one for each of the flavors and then mixed them together. There is also something about this that tastes vaguely diet, even though it's chock full of sugar. At first I kind of dug the strangeness of it all, but the more I drank the worse it got. That could partially be due to the fact that I didn't do the customary chugging of the can and it warmed up over time, but the quality of the flavor definitely decreased for me.

This beverage was developed to help those who have normal blood sugar levels handle the sugar spike after a meal. No disrespect meant to the company but is that really necessary? In my nearly 39 years of existence I don't believe I have ever noticed such a thing happening to me. So, I guess if it does happen, it has zero effect on my life. Perhaps other people have a real problem with this, but if they do I am in the dark about it. The only times I ever hear the words blood, sugar and level in the same sentence is either talking about someone with diabetes, or someone is making an excuse for them acting like a jerk. Perhaps I live a sheltered life in this regard and there are millions of people out there who spike after eating and they have some adverse reaction. If those people are out there this compound of amino-acids and chromium that was developed in Sweden is here to help them out.

Since it's sparkling and unsweetened this tastes like a nice seltzer with a little something extra around the edges. Mostly it just tastes like orange mango sparkling water. I'm enjoying it for the taste if not for the intended effects. Chromium Picolinate is the only ingredient listed that I have never heard of. It apparently has use in diabetes and is also used for weight loss. Here it is just meant to help control ones blood sugar. See I learn things from the beverage world that I would probably never encounter otherwise.

Welp, this should be a whole lotta grozzzz. Ingredients: water, whey protein isolate (milk), natural flavors, sucralose, dyes. So they have mixed together water, milk, a diet sweetener and “flavoring” (this contains 0% juice). That sounds horrendous, but luckily the end result isn't too bad at all. It's not creamy from the milk, it's just a bit chalky, and the diet flavor is somewhat kept under wraps. A poor man's explanation is that it is a protein based vitamin water, or so the taste would tell you, even though it contains no vitamins to speak of. I don't hate it. I don't love it. It's simply there and it inoffensive, which is all I ask for sometimes. This is a beverage with an intended purpose and it fills that purpose swimmingly.

For years one of the things I have wanted most out of the beverage world was a Polar cucumber seltzer. Sure some other companies made them to varying degrees of wonderfulness, but I really wanted it from Polar, so it would be readily available in large quantities and be inexpensive. This summer my dreams were finally answered, and I thought I was getting an added bonus with the melon tacked on. A nice cucumber honeydew (or cantaloupe) combination is hard to beat in my world. The thing is that Polar went with a different melon, one that never tastes right in any form other than eating the melon itself. This is an approximation of cucumber and watermelon. While the cucumber taste in here is spot on and wonderful, the watermelon has that inevitable Jolly Rancher flavor to it. I don't know why it is impossible to capture the true flavor of watermelon but it plagues humanity. This is still good, due to the lack of sugar the fake watermelon flavor is passable. Next year, let's step up the game Polar, how about going with one of the other melons I mentioned, or even just straight cucumber. I bet it would be a best seller (if not from sales to me alone). While you're at it, how about putting the vanilla in cans as well? Or maybe a vanilla-pineapple mix-up. What this isn't a pitch meeting? My bad,

When I saw this, my first thought was, “Is this just a repackaging of the Monster Java line?” After drinking it and doing a little bit of research I'm still not sure. Perhaps if I drank them back to back I could give you a more definitive answer, but as of now I can only say…€¦maybe? This is chocolatey and very creamy. There is actual more milk in here that I would want. While I can get behind a latte, recently I prefer my coffee based beverages without cream. The chocolate in here is really nice though. It tastes like chocolate and not just chocolate flavor. Overall this tastes more like a frothy chocolate milk with a splash of coffee in it, rather than the other way around. All of the energy drink aspects of this are not present in the flavor at all. There is no chemical or liquid candy flavor at all.

I'm going to assume this is different than the Java line, because I still saw those in the cooler, and why would the store stock both? Perhaps the difference is this uses Arabica coffee. Who knows? It's tasty and that's all that matters to me.

After trying the strawberry I had high hopes for the other Bubbly flavors. That one strength to its flavor that you don't find in every seltzer. This grapefruit one is a dime a dozen (or 99 cents a bottle). It tastes like every other grapefruit seltzer I have had in my time walking this planet. That's not a bad thing, but I was hoping for a bit more pizazz. I wanted to feel like I was eating breakfast at a cabin in the woods and for some reason I thought citrus was the proper food. I don't know why my brain associates those things. It is a weird place to live. This tastes like grapefruit, but not so much that it makes your face scrunch up that so badly want it to do.

Summertime in Seltzerville in 2018 is very similar to that of last year. Most of the limited edition Polar flavors are slight twists on last year's flavors, while others such as this Raspberry Rose have just been brought back in the same form for summer consumption. I have no idea how we did not review this one last year. I guess it was when Mike and I were in a slump and were just burned out with doing Thirsty Dudes. Whatever the reason we missed it, and we apologize.

I am a bit surprised that this is the only returning flavor, as it was probably my least favorite of the 2017 line (I drank far too much of the mango berry). This is essentially a unsweetened , non-alcoholic wine spritzer. It's not something I would normally drink. It's lighter in flavor than normal Polar flavors. It also has an undertone that I will attribute to the fake wine aspect. I don't really know if that is true, because wine seems like the grossest thing to me. It just smells like rot to me. This isn't really a beverage for me, but friends who tried this, who enjoy wine said that it's pretty fantastic, so don't take my word on anything.

I learned today that birch water is nature's Gatorade. According to the Treo website it is “full of naturally occurring electrolytes and antioxidants” and it “hydrates your body faster than water.” Interesting. Did you also know that it's what plants crave? Did you also know that we are in a real life version of the movie Idiocracy…€¦.says far too many people who think they are clever. Less complaining about annoying people and more talk about the drink at hand. Xylitol is naturally occurring in birch sap as well, so this is naturally sweet yet low in calories. Everything seems to be coming up roses for this style of beverage. The only thing is I'm not 100% sold on the taste. I could see it going down smooth after exercising or performing at a sporting event, but just casually sipping it is not really for me. It doesn't taste like maple, but there is something about it that I can't put my finger on that makes it definitely in the same family. For the record I am not a maple fan, so that could be the reason to my slight aversion to this. At least the blueberry in here is tasty and is like fruit and not just flavoring. Now I just want to listen to Trio, you know the band that sings Da Da Da that is not the Elastica version.

The following things are generally bad news for beverage companies. 1. Your products are found at Big Lots at a discounted rate (Say, oh I dunno…€¦ 33 cents per can). 2. You make beverages and us here at Thirsty Dudes have never heard of your company, and we are not 100% sure how to pronounce its name. 3. Your social media presence seems to have dried up (perhaps you haven't made a post in nearly two years). If all three of these things ring true, then it's more than likely that the company has folded and that once the shelves are clear I will never hear a word about the company again. In this case it's kind of a shame because for some reason that I cannot understand I do not hate this companies products. They are diet energy drinks that rely on the natural side of things to provide said energy. It's all B vitamins and caffeine in here. They are proud of the fact that they do not use taurine, but the strange thing is that energy drinks that do contain that specific ingredient tend to be the ones that taste like melted candy. Even without it each of these flavors taste like a melted Free-Z-Pop. Since the demise of this company seems to have already occurred, I'm going to pull a first time move here on Thirsty Dudes and just write one review and use it for all of the flavors, because I don't think this is going to be much help to anyone looking to try something new, unless they see it immediately and rush to Big Lots before the space is swapped out for another doomed product.

Blue Raspberry: It's a diet version of a flavor that doesn't really exist in nature. Blue raspberries aren't a real thing, so why do so many companies use it as a flavor? If you are reading this, chances are you know exactly what this flavor tastes like. Now just make that diet and you have what's in this can.
Mango Passionfruit: This is the flavor that is probably closest to the fruits it's meant to impersonate. It is ridiculously sweet. While there is no sugar in here there are loads of sucralose. This is the flavor I thought I would enjoy the most and while it's perfectly serviceable I enjoyed the last one the most.

Wild Grape: You know how grapes taste? Do you also know how grape flavored things taste? Well this falls on the latter side of the divide. I don't know why I really enjoy the taste of fake grape. I mean I love the real thing too, but sometimes on a nice hot day I just want a mouthful of fake grape. Maybe it has something to do with a childhood memory. Who knows? All I know is I enjoyed this more than I expected to, even in all its diet glory.

Finally, I don't know if Kapoya just missed the Stevia train, but I feel like had these used it as their zero calorie sweetener they may have been able to get away with labeling these as “all natural” and I'm sure that would have helped to move more units for more than $.33 each.

The following things are generally bad news for beverage companies. 1. Your products are found at Big Lots at a discounted rate (Say, oh I dunno…€¦ 33 cents per can). 2. You make beverages and us here at Thirsty Dudes have never heard of your company, and we are not 100% sure how to pronounce its name. 3. Your social media presence seems to have dried up (perhaps you haven't made a post in nearly two years). If all three of these things ring true, then it's more than likely that the company has folded and that once the shelves are clear I will never hear a word about the company again. In this case it's kind of a shame because for some reason that I cannot understand I do not hate this companies products. They are diet energy drinks that rely on the natural side of things to provide said energy. It's all B vitamins and caffeine in here. They are proud of the fact that they do not use taurine, but the strange thing is that energy drinks that do contain that specific ingredient tend to be the ones that taste like melted candy. Even without it each of these flavors taste like a melted Free-Z-Pop. Since the demise of this company seems to have already occurred, I'm going to pull a first time move here on Thirsty Dudes and just write one review and use it for all of the flavors, because I don't think this is going to be much help to anyone looking to try something new, unless they see it immediately and rush to Big Lots before the space is swapped out for another doomed product.

Blue Raspberry: It's a diet version of a flavor that doesn't really exist in nature. Blue raspberries aren't a real thing, so why do so many companies use it as a flavor? If you are reading this, chances are you know exactly what this flavor tastes like. Now just make that diet and you have what's in this can.
Mango Passionfruit: This is the flavor that is probably closest to the fruits it's meant to impersonate. It is ridiculously sweet. While there is no sugar in here there are loads of sucralose. This is the flavor I thought I would enjoy the most and while it's perfectly serviceable I enjoyed the last one the most.

Wild Grape: You know how grapes taste? Do you also know how grape flavored things taste? Well this falls on the latter side of the divide. I don't know why I really enjoy the taste of fake grape. I mean I love the real thing too, but sometimes on a nice hot day I just want a mouthful of fake grape. Maybe it has something to do with a childhood memory. Who knows? All I know is I enjoyed this more than I expected to, even in all its diet glory.

Finally, I don't know if Kapoya just missed the Stevia train, but I feel like had these used it as their zero calorie sweetener they may have been able to get away with labeling these as “all natural” and I'm sure that would have helped to move more units for more than $.33 each.

The following things are generally bad news for beverage companies. 1. Your products are found at Big Lots at a discounted rate (Say, oh I dunno…€¦ 33 cents per can). 2. You make beverages and us here at Thirsty Dudes have never heard of your company, and we are not 100% sure how to pronounce its name. 3. Your social media presence seems to have dried up (perhaps you haven't made a post in nearly two years). If all three of these things ring true, then it's more than likely that the company has folded and that once the shelves are clear I will never hear a word about the company again. In this case it's kind of a shame because for some reason that I cannot understand I do not hate this companies products. They are diet energy drinks that rely on the natural side of things to provide said energy. It's all B vitamins and caffeine in here. They are proud of the fact that they do not use taurine, but the strange thing is that energy drinks that do contain that specific ingredient tend to be the ones that taste like melted candy. Even without it each of these flavors taste like a melted Free-Z-Pop. Since the demise of this company seems to have already occurred, I'm going to pull a first time move here on Thirsty Dudes and just write one review and use it for all of the flavors, because I don't think this is going to be much help to anyone looking to try something new, unless they see it immediately and rush to Big Lots before the space is swapped out for another doomed product.

Blue Raspberry: It's a diet version of a flavor that doesn't really exist in nature. Blue raspberries aren't a real thing, so why do so many companies use it as a flavor? If you are reading this, chances are you know exactly what this flavor tastes like. Now just make that diet and you have what's in this can.
Mango Passionfruit: This is the flavor that is probably closest to the fruits it's meant to impersonate. It is ridiculously sweet. While there is no sugar in here there are loads of sucralose. This is the flavor I thought I would enjoy the most and while it's perfectly serviceable I enjoyed the last one the most.

Wild Grape: You know how grapes taste? Do you also know how grape flavored things taste? Well this falls on the latter side of the divide. I don't know why I really enjoy the taste of fake grape. I mean I love the real thing too, but sometimes on a nice hot day I just want a mouthful of fake grape. Maybe it has something to do with a childhood memory. Who knows? All I know is I enjoyed this more than I expected to, even in all its diet glory.

Finally, I don't know if Kapoya just missed the Stevia train, but I feel like had these used it as their zero calorie sweetener they may have been able to get away with labeling these as “all natural” and I'm sure that would have helped to move more units for more than $.33 each.

The weather has finally broke and it's been plain warm out. The sun is shining down the trees are sprouting leaves and I'm sitting on my back porch hanging with my new puppy and sipping on this can of seltzer'ade. Oh yeah, The artist formerly known as Editor Dan is also with me, encouraging my pup to be the jerk he kind of already is. He's a bad friend I tell ya. The only reason I mention this poor influence is that he tried this beverage and instantly proclaimed that it tasted like lemon Pez. He's not too far off base. It's not exact, but I see where he's coming from. I have no idea if this tastes like actual starfruit, because I haven't tasted one in over a decade. I can say that it is fruity and refreshing, and that I would be enjoying it a lot more if I didn't have to worry about this dog doing something stupid, like dig a giant hole in my lawn…€¦..too late.

Pea and rice are my favorite protein sources when it comes to powders. To me they taste the best and I don't feel gross drinking something that comes from an animal. For the record milk has grossed me out since I was a kid and I will never get over thinking about what it actually is, and how unbelievably unnatural it seems for one species to drink another species milk.

Anyway, this is made from peas, and just peas. Guess what, it tastes like peas. If you use water as a mixer it can be a little bitter. I tried it with water as well as almond milk, and I enjoyed the later much more. Listen, I know mushy peas are the worst vegetable on the Thanksgiving table, but they are much better in this form. It's the texture that makes them gross. I swear. Just buy something like this instead of whey protein, you'll feel better about your choice.

It's that time of year again and the limited edition summer line by Polar is finally here. I have been checking the grocery store for weeks and it has paid off, as there are some new flavors this time around that definitely got me excited.

Pineapple is one of the greatest fruits we have discovered on this vast planet. Sure if you eat too much it can be painful. I once ate an entire pineapple, by self, in one sitting and it made my tongue bleed. Citrus can be a harsh mistress, but the taste makes it worth it. That side of this twist is fantastic. I'm not exactly sure who got away with pitching adding lemon to it though. Lemon is a budget flavoring and I feel that as humans we can move past it for the most part. I'm sure it was proposed as pineapple lemonade, which would have been incredible. That belongs in their Seltzerade line though, as here the flavor doesn't have the punch it needs to be classified as a lemonade. A pineapple lime would have been nice. I would have loved to have gotten a pineapple-apple seltzer, as the name would make me laugh every time I poured a glass. My number one choice would have been pineapple vanilla though. I've made it on my own and it's delicious.

As it stands this is fairly tasty and I went through the bottle quick. I just feel there are better potential pairings out there that were missed out on.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the Shel Silverstein book that shares a name with this beverage is about how humans are horrible needy beings that will ruin anything if it helps them to “progress.” In the book the boy takes and takes until there is nothing left, and even then he uses ole stumpy as a place to rest his weary body, when he hasn't been back in years to visit. At the same time the book seems to teach that feminine things should be happy to serve. I know it's a childhood favorite to a lot of people but looking at it as an adult that book is a crock.

While they may share names this beverage is of a different sort. They give in the form of vitamin c, calcium, potassium, iron, protein as well refreshment, but they also take your cash and make a profit, which they should. As an added bonus, Giving Tree Tea also donates a portion of each sale to provide healthy meals to people who are struggling with hunger. They should be the basis for a children's book. They give and they take, and they aren't a chump in doing so. Everyone is happy and they are making the world a better place. Sharing and giving are important, but so is your general wellbeing, and don't let a picture book from the 60's tell you any different.

Moringa is a light earthy tea that has some produce like notes in it. Sometimes I think they are fruitlike and other times it's almost like leafy greens. I'm going to go with the latter and say it's the sugar that makes me think of fruit. It's almost as if it's tea flavored water, except it is way healthier. I feel like I could down a gallon of this without blinking.

When you live in a country where more and more people are finally starting to become health conscious eventually seltzer water is going to come into the mainstream. I'm not saying that it used to be a underground phenomenon. It's not like it's the mid 80's and Dischord is at the forefront of the DC punk scene. It just wasn't something that was everywhere with tons of people drinking it. I've been seeing a lot of ads for Bubbly around lately. Something about the design work made me think of generic store brand and I didn't hold much hope for greatness. I finally grabbed this today when I was thirsty, on the run, and not looking for sugar. While it's not mind-blowing and bursting with flavor in a way that makes you question if there is secretly sugar involved in some way, but it is very good. The strawberry is subtle, yet present. I'm aware of the contradiction there. It's just that it's not really there while you mull over the flavor in your mouth, but the second you swallow it's strawberry town. Maybe strawberry-ville? Well, it's certainly more than the hamlet of strawberry. Whatever, it's tasty and tastes as much like strawberries as you possibly could without it being sweet. With a price point a bit higher than my standby Polar, I don't know if I could buy a case to grab on the go, but I would certainly grab these again from gas stations while I'm out and about. Sometimes the increased quality just does not justify the increase in price, well at least for me, but I'm cheap.

I've been kind of into protein drinks lately. I mean as much as you can get into them, which is to say I've been drinking them somewhat regularly. I realized I have a big portion control problem when it comes to eating. If there is food in front of me I will just absentmindedly eat it. The fact that I sometimes eat a ridiculous amount without thinking about it, leads me to overeat during regular meals because my stomach is stretched (that's science right?). I've found that protein drinks help me to not eat between meals so much. I'll have one instead of a snack (which is probably a meal to most) and it helps curb my appetite. It's also nice that it helps with muscle building and it makes me feel like I'm not wasting my time at the gym and I'm getting better results. That is far too much background information just so that I can say I was excited when these showed up in the mail. Good timing is always appreciated.

This bottle has 15g of whey protein. I generally prefer to get my protein from plant sources, but exceptions can be made. It's grape flavored, but it contains no juice, so that means it tastes like a melted Free-Z-Pop, which I am more than okay with. Normally fake fruit flavors bother me, but for some reason I'm into fake grape. The whey protein gives it a slightly milky taste. It's not so much like an orange cream, but it's there around the edges. The grape is still in the foreground though. Mike said that the Tropical Coconut one he had was a bit chalky, but I'm not getting that with this flavor. It's sweetened with sucralose, which I didn't realize until after I had finished it, which is also a good sign, because I didn't taste anything diet in there. Overall this is pretty nice for a grab and go protein drink.

I will finally acknowledge that I am an adult. I am responsible. I take care of my bills on time. I no longer have the time for drama and nonsense in my life. Most importantly I don't need to ingest mass amounts of sugar. For a couple of years now I have been riding the seltzer train. At first it was a little hard going, but I soon completely latched on. Sure, there are times where I do have a sugar craving, or a certain type of beverage won't leave my brain. Sometimes I give in and give myself a treat. Others I fill the gap with something somewhat similar but healthier. Now I am a fool for blood orange anything. It's the superior citrus fruit in my world, and I can't get enough of it. When I saw that Polar expanded their Seltzer'ade line and it included a Blood Orange Lemonade, I couldn't get a case into my cart fast enough. Sometimes things just can't match the expectations that form in your head though. While this is quite tasty, it is by no means a replacement for a good blood orange Italian soda. It is a flavor that needs a little sugar to be enhanced. As I said this is very good, but it may be the lightest flavored of this line that I have tried. If this was as strong as the mango one I would have a new beverage of the summer. As it stands I don't know how often I would get it as it leaves me wanting.