Sugar - 840 Reviews

You make coffee, hot, tea, espresso, and iced tea? Keurig. You've really done it. You also don't make garbage sweet tea. You can cram some real magic in those little cups. I feel like a giant holding a cup of yogurt when I handle those things. I'm a short giant, like twenty feet tall. Does that scale correctly? I would say that it's a third the size of a cup of yogurt so three times of what I am now would be between eighteen and twenty feet. I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and said an even twenty. Twenty feet sounds a lot bigger than eighteen feet for something reason. For the same reason that $10 sounds like a lot more than $9.99.

This tastes like a peach iced tea. Big whoop, right? It comes from a cup of dust so give it a break. It could have given you a lot less and you have gotten a lot less without the restriction of the ingredients being crammed into a tiny cup. If anything, my sole gripe would be that it's a bit too sweet. I really mean "a bit." It's enough to bump it down a rung.

Put more things in these mystery cups and let me make it myself. I want some different stuff like sweetened yerba mate with cinnamon in it or something. Experiment, science dudes and dudettes. That's why you got into that racket, isn't it? To make me a custom tailored drink that around twelve people will really enjoy?

Life is rough when you live like common people. Life is exhausting when you do whatever common people do. When you stay out all night to dance, drink and screw there's nothing else but feel like complete exhausted hungover garbage in the morning. Jarvis Cocker left that out of his little life lesson that he gave with his band Pulp.

Fear not common people of the world, there is help for you and all the rich turds who are slumming it. The answer is the wonderful Coco Cafè. It's a carton of coconut water (to rehydrate you) with a shot of espresso mixed in (to help wake you up when you have a lack of caffeine in your blood stream and a lack…€¦wait wrong English lyricist.) The results are wonderful, and to make things better they have now added chocolate to the mix to improve the flavor to even higher levels. Oh did I mention that it tastes like dark chocolate, because it does and it's wonderful. The drink is a bit bitter because of everything involved, but that doesn't detract from it; it simply makes it seem more adult. Too bad a lot of adults are morons.

I myself am not a common person, nor am I a pretender in such matters. I don't need this drink for the reasons stated above, but I still enjoy the hell out of it.

Sometimes your at a time and place in your life where your nutrition needs to come from a shake/liquid. Perhaps you work out a lot and need to replenish what you lost whilst getting ripped. Perhaps things were a bit more sinister and some creep punched you out of nowhere because he thought you were eyeing his lady friend when in face you were trying to watch The Simpsons in closed caption on the television that hung behind her at the bar. Perhaps you are just an idiot and thought, “Hey I saw them try to jump the Springfield Gorge on that episode of the Simpsons I watched at the bar last night in closed caption, I'm going to try to do the same at my local gorge, except I'm going to actually make it.” Of course you didn't make it. You haven't set foot on a skateboard since you were twelve and now you're paunchy and 34, so you no longer have teeth to eat solid foods.

Whatever your reason, If you're into the taste of blueberries and vanilla and the consistency of slightly liquidy yogurt, this drink may be for you. To be honest, I could use a whole lot more vanilla in here. Had they used the same vanilla that is in their straight up vanilla shake and just added some blueberries to this is would be pretty magical. Instead it has a general yogurtness to it, that I kind of disliked at first, but didn't mid after a couple of sips. The blueberry taste is right where I want it to be though, so that is also good. Overall this isn't bad, but it could have easily been made great as I mentioned above.

I do get excited when I see new drinks. Not to discredit them at all, but I do get a bit discouraged when they are store brand drinks. Target's Nature Market or whatever it's called has some pretty good stuff but I can't help but feel like it's just rebranded stuff from some other company that was nice enough to sell to Target. Target, you guys are alright. I spend a lot of time inside of you in the least gross way possible but in the most gross way possible, there are always horrifically gigantic turds in your toilet and you should maybe patrol them a bit more. To drinks!

I do enjoy blood orange and I do enjoy essence waters like Hint and Ayala's so when I saw this and it was colored, I was a bit skeptical. "Essence" implies...well...magic flavors are extracted and injected into the drink. Never have I seen one with color, which just makes me think that it's a "Vitamin Water" type drink. That's fine if it is, but don't call it an "essence" drink. Call it something else. There is an association between words in this language we use and when you call something a specific title, people think it's going to be something. End rant. Begin review again.

This was a good drink. I don't know if I have ever seen let alone eaten a blood orange but this is good in comparison to other blood orange drinks. It was light and was sweetened by both regular old man sugar and new jack Stevia derivative, which Jay scoffed at but I rather enjoyed. You didn't get it until the very end. It wasn't too heavily sweetened even with the team of sweeteners and fruity so I would say that it was a success. Target! Another success!

Is Shaq really that relevant in this day and age that he should be the spokesman for a drink? When was the last time this man made any sort of news? I mean it's been almost a decade since his Shaq Fu album came out and he's retired from basketball. I simply do not understand the reason for handing over a bunch of money to someone who is no longer in the spotlight, especially for a company that is already so established. I can only hope that the owner is just a huge basketball fan and Shaq was his favorite player of all time, so this is a dream come true for him (or her).

Even though I don't understand the endorsement, I was very intrigued by the idea of a blueberry cream soda. I've never tried one before, and it sounded wonderful. With one sip I knew that I had been correct. This was amazing. Then, about four sips later, I changed my mind. While this is great for a couple of sips, it becomes too much very quickly. Shaq is a big man, and this comes in a big can, and it's more than anyone would ever need. Everything was in place for this to be great: It's sweetened with real sugar, it has actual blueberry juice in it, the cream flavoring was from bourbon vanilla extract, and it had honey in it. I normally love honey in drinks, but I think it might have been the downfall this time around. There is something a little off with the taste that is not blueberry or vanilla and the only thing I can think of is the honey.

I let this sit twice and then went back for a couple more sips hours apart and each time I really enjoyed it for the first couple of sips, and then it would go south again. It's a shame. I will say that I do love the artwork on the can. It's goofy and wonderful, and it uses halftones in the best way.

Cheribundi has expanded their line and is stepping up their game. First off that is one great looking packaging. Sure the bottle itself is really nothing too crazy, but everything from the colors to the typeface to the tasteful picture of cherries is absolutely perfect. It's so simple and esthetically pleasing. Lucky for us the taste of the liquid it contains is also just as pleasing.

The jasmine tea base in here is not as floral as others I've tried, and I think that is for the best. Don't get me wrong, I love a nice floral jasmine, if that is all that it is, but once you add other flavors to that, a toned down version works much better. Since this is a company who is known for their cherry juice, I had expected this to be exploding with cherry flavor. A lot of companies overdo things that way, but just like with the design, they knew that less would be more with this. There is a nice cherry flavor that is a little tart, but overall it's pretty subtle in the mix, and it intermingles nice with the tea. The one thing I would change about this is that it is a little sweeter than it needs to be. I personally enjoy my jasmine tea unsweetened, but I understand that the tartness of the cherry also has to be taken into consideration. It is my opinion that if the amount of added sugar were cut in half the drink would have greatly benefited and would have earned a full five bottles. Hey, four bottles on Thirsty Dudes is nothing to scoff at, but I always hope drinks will win the whole pot.

Coffee fans in the unreachable corners of the world rejoice! Now you can turn up your nose at the rest of the world like regular, fancy, city folk in the privacy of your own home. Go ahead. Grab all your computers and books and put them in one room and pretend to work while you sip your coffee and milk Starbucks iced coffee just like if you were in a real Starbucks. Listen to the latest Vampire Weekend out of your laptop speakers too loud while you blog about the people around you and how "lame" they are. While you drink this nicely sweetened, nicely flavored coffee drink, you can pretend you can close your eyes and imagine that you've got something better to do that what you're doing right now. You drink this cafe quality drink and shake your head at all your relatives that come in the door because what they are wearing is so last season.

As soon as the bottle is done, you can take one more coffee scented sigh and return to the life that you were living before that bottle of downtown life came into your possession. Maybe next time the boat drops off supplied to your tiny village they will have another case of them to fight over. In the mean time there is no shortage of coconuts and playing cards. Have fun.

I've spent the past few weeks trouncing around the Amazon collecting green tea. Sure, I could buy it in a store, or even grow it myself in some sort of green house, but if you ask me it never tastes quite right unless it's procured directly from the source. The thing is that well…€¦I'm sort of lost. Well, let me rephrase that, I was lost, but then I found the river and I have been following it back to the village I will be flying out of. Yancy, my top hat wearing llama, seems to be in good spirits and appears to have no qualms with carrying all the tea I've picked. I know from landmarks that we have about a days walk back to the village, so this whole fiasco hasn't been too big of a deal. My only real problem is that I am running low on the coconut water I brought with me for hydration. Sure, I have plenty of water, but I've become accustomed to the refreshment I can only achieve from the essence of the coconut.

I've come up with a solution. I am going to ration the coconut water I have and cut it with some green tea. It might not be the same, but at least I'll get a little quenching without being tempted to just down the rest of my rations. I am weak willed like that. Okay I have the mixture in two bottles now. One I shall drink post haste and the other I will save for the morning. Oh wow, this is ridiculously good. I feel like I'm still getting that special hydration from the coconut, but it mostly has the flavor of the green tea. I mean you can still taste the coconut water in there, but it's the tea that really shines. I really did put in just enough sugar. It was kind of a lot, but it really works well. I really can't believe how well this worked! I'm going to do this all the time now, it just means I have less coconut water to bring on my excursions, and that will make Yancy quite pleased. You know what? Screw tomorrow, I'm going to drink the other bottle now, and plod through the night.

It would be unfair to call this soda, because it really isn't. I could see how someone could mistake it for soda, but in reality it's a sparkling juice; the juice being grapefruit juice in this case. Now me and grapefruit juice have an on-again/off-again type of relationship, I like grapefruit flavored things, but in moderation. I can't really stomach a full glass of the juice, but a little bit here and there or mixed with something I can handle.

Which is why I love this drink. It's only 16% grapefruit juice but in my eyes it's the perfect mixture. It's just the right amount of sour without destroying my taste buds for weeks. San Pellegrino is good like that, knowing the perfect mix of things for their drinks.

The Buddha meditates under trees for long periods of time. He always starts the morning in the shade, but as the sun rises the sun ends up blaring on him and it gets hot, very hot. Let's face it he's also a big guy, so he sweats a lot. The Buddha knows it's important to keep hydrated, so he always keeps a cooler of coconut water with him, so he doesn't dry out and shrivel up.

He prefers to drink straight up coconut water with nothing added to it, but sometimes when he's not meditating into nothingness/everything he wants a little more and goes for some with a little mango juice in it. There's not a whole ton of juice added to it, but it's enough to give it a little flavor. The problem is the company he's sponsored by also adds some sugar to it. The Buddha knows it's unnecessary, but they don't put too much in, so it's not like it's sugar water masquerading as coconut water. It's simply mildly sweetened, lightly flavored coconut water that is a little chalky, but that's what you get with all decent coconut waters. It refreshes him like only coconut water and enlightenment can.

I have one simple request for the humans who populate this planet: Can we please just give up on bananas? Leave them to the chimps. We evolved from them; so let's get away from their favorite food as well. I know people are going to think it's a phallic thing, or that I have a problem with the texture, but those people are wrong. I'll eat cucumbers like a hand fruit all day long, and I have no problem with mushy foods. The way I incompetently make oatmeal makes it about the same consistency as them. The sad truth that people just need to accept is that bananas just taste disgusting. I don't get even a millisecond of enjoyment out of them. They even smell gross, like they are always in a state of decomposition. I know the potassium they provide is essential, but let's be honest science has progressed enough that we can get that vitamin in pill form without the grozz taste.

Mix 1 has joined the bastard fruit with a delicious one as is common in our culture. Strawberries are delicious, so of course people will use them to try and disguise the grossness of the banana, it's just too bad it never works and the precious strawberries are just wasted. This drink really has two strikes against it before I even tried it. Number one: it's a protein drink, which generally don't fare to well for the palate. I've already spent too much time on issue number two.

Upon trying this it was confirmed that I am not a fan. There is a decent strawberry flavor, and it has a nice sweetness. If it were just that then I think this would have been a pretty good protein shake, but that banana, that damn banana ruins it all. If you are a savage who has no taste buds and eat this green to yellow to brown fruit you just might enjoy this. Me, I'll be avoiding it.

On iced tea day, I intended on only drinking iced tea. That is until I saw a commercial for cold hot chocolate and had to switch things up a little bit. I'll get to you tea but as it is, I drink more iced tea per week than an entire family.

I went to Dunkin' Donuts and humiliatingly ordered "Midgees" which I guess was the old name for "Munchkins" and I think the cashier picked on me but I can't be sure so I have to let them get away with it. Then they didn't have anything but glazed ones anyhow so it really didn't matter what I called them. Nothing but problems with that place. Then I got this drink and I was ready to go.

Now this drink is simple, right? It's hot chocolate but cold. They "Icee" it up a little bit using their super crushed Coolata ice. I don't know how they do it but it's nice. It's nice for a limited time and then it just turns into a regular, flat drink. I drank about half this as something special and then the second half, as far as I am concerned, was just chocolate milk. As you can see in the picture, they just have chocolate syrup in there anyhow. It's not like they invented anything here. They just made something hot cold and blended it in a machine that they use to make other things in.

Sure, it's good. Sure I would get another. It's hardly breaking down any barriers. I know they're not trying to do that and I'm not trying to judge them too harshly. I don't know what I would do to improve that aside from things on my part. Number one would be to get a smaller drink so that I can enjoy it as it was intended in its entirety. Second would be to drink it faster and not care about the inevitable impending brain freeze or actually enjoying the drink. I think that the first option is the better one. Smaller. I didn't need all that I got anyhow. I think I ordered a small but they might have given me a medium. Maybe I got a medium. They probably just proved me right and just got my order wrong again.

In the summer as a child, you eat hundreds of freezie pops: three per day every day for the whole summer. Quality is no issue, as you have to beat the heat with whatever you and your friend's parent's have. That being said, I don't know if I've ever had a bad freezie pop. Why do I bring this up? Well, I tee'd this thing up pretty obviously but if you can't do the math, this thing tastes like a strawberry freezie pop.

It's pretty sweet like those old people strawberry wrapped candies that are wrapped to look like strawberries and when unwrapped still look like strawberries. Come on, you don't know what I'm talking about? Grandma's and grandpa's have these lining the halls of their homes. For every five Precious Moments dolls there is one glass candy dish filled with either Werthers Originals or those strawberry candies. Go visit your grandparents if you can. They put out that candy for you and trust me it's getting dusty. They don't eat candy. It would take out their dentures.

What a garbage twenty-four hours. Last night, as many of you in the Northeast found out, it rained like nobody's business. It flooded the living daylights out of my basement promptly and I was bailing and checking the sump pump every thirty seconds to see if it was going to be a two-fer type of night. Later that night and into the early morning was a monsoon that woke me up multiple times. I had to go out and re-cover my motorcycle in my backyard at four in the morning. Lucky for me, my dog decided to help out. Moral support pup. This morning I was just beat and everyone was an awful driver and so on and so forth.

I needed to "do me" so I went and got one of these smoothies that look so good in both commercials and billboards. I made a good decision. This tastes wonderful and was a great thickness and consistency. It was perfectly fruity and actually tasted like pomegranates and blueberries. A novel idea, I know, but after reading the ingredients, it's all pretty natural which I commend McD's for.

This day has just begun and already blows but, like in the commercials, all was fine when I was drinking this smoothie. Now I've just got metal in my ear calming my nerves. I know it doesn't make sense. Neither does a thirty one year old listening to metal. Pick your battles, people.

Deep in the jungles of Taiwan, there is a man called Hanklin. His mother wanted to name him "Hank" and his dad wanted to name him "Franklin" so they thought it would make the most sense to just combine them and everyone wins; everyone except for Hanklin who has a really dumb name.

Hanklin wanted to get out of the city. He was an extrovert. He moved to a jungle, hooked up a couple solar panels, built a 500 square foot house, and subscribed to satellite internet. Yeah, it's slower, but he's "off the grid." He works hard but doesn't do so well with others. He tends to lose his temper over dumb things like getting sand in his shoes, when he's eating a hamburger and the stuff on the inside starts to fall out, and when people don't hold the door for him when he knows they know he's coming. He was a raw plastic salesman that uses the term "remote office" to its fullest extent.

He works day and night which is fine by him. When he needs stuff, he drives the fifteen miles to the closest town and goes shopping. He tries to make as little stops as he can. One day, he went to town and bought a bottle of ice coffee. He usually just drinks bottled water but he just made a big sale and decided to "splurge" even though he makes over $100,000 and probably spends less than $100 a week to live. He got home with his many, many melons, odd cuts of odd meat, suntan lotion, cases of water, vegetables, and toiletries and decided to crack open his new drink.

He took one sip and was brought back to when he lived in the States. A more complicated time filled with excess, noise, and complicated decisions. The coffee was good but it was a bit too sweet for his liking. It wasn't too much that he couldn't drink it, but it was sweet enough that he wouldn't drink it again. It smelled good, tasted alright, and was tall enough to span two drink sessions.

When he finished the bottle, he put it in his one weekly garbage bag and went on with his life. After all, now he had the energy to start selling the new Polystyrene beads that they got very cheap at a high markup that will net Hanklin even more money that he won't spend.

You know I don't like bananas, right both Ralph and Charlie? You know I do not like them. I know this is turning out to look like a real "green eggs and ham" type thing but I mean it. I don't like it. I know I'm not alone in this. It's not just my average complaint about how pears are terrible. It's a lot less. I just don't like bananas. But, and this is a big but that even the late Sir Mix-A-Lot would approve of, this doesn't really taste like bananas. The best banana is a banana that doesn't taste like a banana. That's what I've only said one time ever in my life. This tastes like a thinner orange smoothie, carrot, and maybe a trace of banana. It's good but somehow doesn't seem to have any sort of nutritional value. I don't really know how that is possible. I guess that 2% fruit juice from concentrate can only go so far.

Sir Mix-a-Lot is not dead. May he live forever in both spirit and every single karaoke night I go to nationwide.

This morning Mike and I had a meeting at the local Coke bottling facility. Our new friends there told us about what they do and about the new products coming out. Once that concluded we were taken on a tour of the warehouse/bottling section. Everything was normal and on the up and up until we came to a make shift boxing ring tucked away in a back corner. When we questioned its existence, our tour guide gave us a sly smile and tossed us a can of this new Monster Baller's Blend. He said it was a way to promote the new SKU inside the company. Every week the warehouse employees downed a can of this fruit punch flavored energy drink and had it out in the ring to see who would take the upcoming weekend shifts.

We were in luck because the week's fights were just about to start. We sat there as approximately two dozen employees cracked open a case of Punch Energy and used their keys to pop holes in them and shotgunned the hell out of those cans. Mike and I watched on as we sipped our can. It was surprisingly good. We were actually taken aback by how decent it was. When we think of a fruit punch energy drink the only image in my mind was an overly sweet cheap tasting syrupy mess. Luckily the liquid inside has a nice fruit punch flavor that doesn't seem too childish. I believe that was due to the fact that it's sweetened with sugar, so it's not too syrupy and the slight general energy drink flavor gave it a more adult taste.

We only had time to watch the first couple fights, but let me tell you those warehouse guys were no joke. This was an all out bare-knuckle brawl, with a bunch of grown men who were all sorts of amped up on energy punch. The second forklift operator lost at least one tooth that I saw. I guess when you're weekend is at risk and the weather finally getting nice out, you're gonna do what you have to do for some time in the sun. The invited Mike and I to go a few rounds against each other for the titled of Duke of the Dudes of Thirst, but we politely declined. There were tacos in our future and we didn't want to take a chance of ruining that with bloody lips and black eyes. Instead we downed the last few sips of our tasty beverages, said our goodbyes and made our way out into the wild world of taquerias.


As you may have guess by that last line, none of this is actually true, except that we did have a tour/meeting and we drank this surprisingly good beverage. There are no real taquerias in Buffalo, and that is the shame of our city.

Sadly this is my last bottle of Ralph & Charlie's. When we received a shipment of juices that were nearly all carrot based I did not expect to be taken on the wild trip that is concluding today. Carrots are great, but drinking them does not sound like something I would ever look forward to. This company has come up with the wonderful mixtures of carrots and other fruits and vegetables that are always interesting and leave me wanting more.

The idea of mixing carrots and cranberries has never crossed my mind. Sure both are staples at Thanksgiving, but I don't think of them as a team. Never in a million years would I expect their combination to taste the way this juice does. It is very sweet, without crossing over the line of tooth decay. It's also very fruity, which is due to apple juice being the second ingredient, following water. This is essentially a cranapple juice with carrots mixed in to give it just enough of a unique flavor to make you sit back and savor each sip.

I find myself wondering how this drink would fare if it didn't have sugar added to it. Would it be even better, or is the sugar necessary to give the carrot juice the little push it needs to not overpower the rest of the flavors?

Get yourself a big ole' bucket of water. Now dump a big ole' bag of sugar in it. Squeeze some of those little ole' passion fruits and those regular ole' mangoes into that there bucket and what you get will probably taste a little bit like this. This only has 30% juice in it, but what amount of the remaining 70% is sugar? It's ridiculously sweet to an extent that it takes away from the flavor of two of my favorite fruits. Both are present but the amount of sugar makes them taste candied. Too bad.

I don't eat tiramisu because I'm not a big rummy. Yeah, those tasty ladyfingers are soaked in rum and you serve it to your kids. I don't mean to get preachy but that's bad parenting. Giving kids rum. Look, if you want to rub some on their baby gums so they can make it through the tough teething process that's your call. I didn't and wouldn't but that's a freebee if you want it. Tiramisu, though: rummy. This is a Taiwanese coffee drink that tastes, or is supposed to taste like that dessert delicacy but doesn't really. As a coffee drink it's fine but as a cake flavored coffee drink it's just not there. It smells like cake but doesn't really taste like it. Sitting here with the empty can net to me wafting the coffee scented cake towards my nostrils is a constant reminder that it could have been good. I'm about to throw this can across the room since it smells so good but is about half as good as it is leading me to believe it is. This indestructible can is filled with disappointment and hype. It's good, but a let down. I wanted cake and coffee for breakfast. I only got coffee and the sensation of someone eating cake next to me and not sharing.