Sugar - 840 Reviews

Honey, I'm sorry that I'm too sick to go to the fair tonight. I don't know where this headache and dizziness came from. I know how badly you wanted to ride the merry-go-round and the Ferris Wheel. We can go tomorrow but for now I've got to rest. I did get you something just in case a scenario just like this would occur. I bought you some cotton candy pop. I saw it and had to get it for you because I know you love it so much. What's not to love, though? It's so much fun to eat. It's so big and then you put it in your mouth and it almost disappears.

Here you go buddy. What do you think? It certainly smells good. It's sweet? How sweet? Too sweet? How is the flavor? May I have a sip, buddy? Thanks. Ooofff. You're right. It is sweet. Uhhh. The flavor isn't bad. It's certainly cotton candy-esque. This is great if you are in a city that...say...forbids carnivals, lawn fetes, or fairs. You have a couple ounces of summer fun right there.

Buddy, tomorrow we will go and pet all the llamas, drink all the sweet tea, play all the "I Got It", and eat some hot dogs. I promise. For now, let daddy just sit here and listen to the soothing sounds of Sade.

To whom it may concern,
I don't know if you have thought ahead for things like birthdays, Christmas, Easter, or Sweetest Day, but you needn't look any more. I, Nature, have created the greatest gift for everyone. I mean everyone. I don't and never have discriminated. Everyone is equal and this drink I have created with my bare hands is for you.

Allow me to describe this gift that I have so generously and nonchalantly given to the people of the world. It is an aloe drink. Simple as that: original aloe flavor. No funny fruit business. I stick to the classics myself. Vinyl? I love it. Laserdisc? Nope. VHS, son! I only listen to debut records from bands and will not buy anything after that regardless of how much better it is. Yeah, I know the production quality is usually better on subsequent albums, but I stick to my guns. No, I'm joking. Nature doesn't use guns but I do rain on tons of parades if you know what I mean.

I just thought that I would remind you that this gem of a drink existed because I noticed in the last quarter sales were down a little bit. Remember, this is a gift so drink it with glee and have a wonderful day.

Sincerely,
Nature Steinberg

Paldo seems like it should be a dog's name. I kind of want to name a dog Paldo now. I also want to teach him to go fetch me drinks. Does that fall under the adorable category or the one labeled “get it yourself you lazy slob?” I'm going to go with adorable. I would imagine glass bottles would be hard on the little guy's teeth. They also might be too smooth for him to be able to get a proper grasp on to carry. Cans would also be a problem because one little tooth pressed just a little too hard and the contents are going to spray everywhere. It looks like I'll have to train my little bubby Paldo to retrieve me plastic bottles. Hopefully he will be prone to choosing his namesake because they make some great tasting aloe drinks. Sure the chunks in it are a little too tiny for my liking (they resemble pulp more than chunks), but the flavor is always great. This bottle is a great example. Pomegranate is a delicious fruit but a little too much for a lot of people. Paldo (the company not the imaginary dog) added enough sweetener to take away most of the bitterness yet leave the essence of the fruit in tact. It's a perfect gateway drink to get people into both pomegranate and aloe drinks. If you're skeptical of either, give this a try. I'll be out looking for a beagle puppy who is susceptible to drink training.

Terry worked as a heating and cooling repairman for 13 years of his life. He drove his van around Western New York fixing people's stoves, fridges and air conditioners. Most days he didn't hate his job, but there wasn't much room for advancement. He did love driving around a lot though. Then one day he was fixing a guy's air conditioner and he got to talking to him. You see Terry loved fixing things, and he liked to explain it as well. The man was so impressed with his passion that he offered him a job at his company. He would make more money and promotions were a possibility. Terry knew he would miss his driving around and didn't like the idea of being stuck in one play all day, but the money was nice and he needed a change. He took to the job like a fish to water. He took a couple of trips to other states to fix some industrial units, and getting away was nice. Then one day he got asked if he would be willing to go to Australia for a week for the job. Not being a dummy he jumped at the chance. So within six months this fine man went from working a quasi dead end job to working for a growing company and being sent around the world doing work that he found interesting. It's times like these that I am incredibly proud of my friends. It's also times like these when I am thankful that I have friends who travel around the globe and bring me back gifts of drinks.

This is a bottle of Australian sarsaparilla that was purchased at a roadside fruit stand in said country. (As a side note, if you don't take advantage of roadside fruit stands when you are traveling then you are a fool.) I expected this to be a very strong sarsaparilla for some reason, but it's not and I'm okay with that. It has a very classic soda flavor to it. I could see this being served in a 50's soda shop with a couple sharing a bottle with two straws. It starts off as just a generic old time soda flavor but when you swallow it has a strong sarsaparilla aftertaste. It's not what I was looking for but it's a soda that has its place and I can respect and enjoy that. I do with the licorice flavor was a bit stronger in this. Then it would be superb.

Oddly enough this is made by the Fosters Beer company. I don't know why I find that weird, but I definitely do. Also the tagline on the bottle is “Refreshingly Tasmanian.” Now that I find charming.

Peter loved peanut butter, or as his mom liked to call it “Peter Butter.” It started with PB&J sandwiches. Then he switched to straight peanut butted on bread, and lots of it. Before he knew it he was hooked on the stuff. He was dipping veggies on it. Eating it with dessert. He even became a regular at a local Thai restaurant because he could get peanut satay there. He consumed more peanut butter than any other substance and it was evident in his physical presence. His mother told him he had to cut down, or else he would turn out to be one of those people that you hear about on the news that is so obese that they can't even leave their bed, and weeks pass before anyone even realizes they are dead. Peter did not want that to be his future, so he started cutting down on his peanut butter intake. It was hard because he loved the flavor so much. His mother worked out a recipe for a drink that would taste like peanut butter, but wouldn't be so terrible health wise. She took rice milk and blended in some peanut butter. Sure it wasn't exactly health food, but it filled the void that the lack of peanut butter had created in Peter's life, while keeping things a tad better for him. At first Peter thought it was strange. He felt like he was drinking a can of the sauce that was on his peanut satay. The more he thought about it, the more it grossed him out. He didn't want to drink sauce. Only degenerates and junkies did things like that. He thereby claimed that he was off the sauce. He didn't want to be a peanut butter junkie anymore. He took the rest of his drink and gave it to the cat, which surprisingly loved it. It's now been ten years and Peter has taken to lying to people about having a peanut allergy, just so he doesn't have people tempting him with his old love.

ps. My cat totally starting drinking this and I had to physically restrain her to get her to stop. Cats love peanuts.

These are dangerous times guys, dangerous times. They are dangerous times to be a small company because large companies are getting smarter and making some awesome products. Snapple, in my eyes, was long forgotten for a long time and then in the last couple years they ramped it up and now make delicious tea. That's why it drives me crazy when I see small companies using garbage ingredients. You know that Snapple could make way more if it used worse ingredients but there is someone digging their feet in ensuring that doesn't happen.

This tea is pretty great. I've been doing this for long enough to know different varieties of tea and flavoring. This is a lightly sweetened (both as advertised and as practiced) white tea. It's good. I would like it if this was just that: simple, efficient, and beautiful. I've never had just a plain sweet white tea. It would be fantastic. You hear me, Snapple? I'll buy it. Cherry is a rarity in tea but pomegranate is a bit old hat. The pomegranate in this is good, but it might be about 33% of the fruit. Cherry takes the majority, a majority I'm calling 66%, and is right on the cusp. It's a dangerous line that it walks because sometimes people think that cherry tastes mediciny but this is not at that rate. It's good. White tea plus cherry plus pomegranate is a good mix. Let it be known.

Snapple, you've done good work. You made something new and I've got to give you credit because it was a fantastic implementation.

This ship is great but exhausting. All day and everywhere and every minute there is something going on and you feel obligated to go to all of it. I've done karaoke like four times, swam in the pool, eaten tons of fruit, went on a water slide, casinos, cafes, candy shops, banquet halls, and more.

I like the boat, I really do, but I cannot get a good night rest. Every morning I wake up unsatisfyingly tired. The pillows and bed are too soft and my body is used to firm both. I needed a boost so I drank this. I punched me square in the mouth and not in a good way.

I normally like getting decked in the mouth by drinks but this was a sucker punch. It tastes like fruit punch with that "energy drink" taste. It was strong like bull and the first half of the can made me twitch every sip. After that it just tasted overwhelming. It did get me to 1:30 in the morning, though so I might actually give it the credit it deserves there.

Cozumel, Playa Del Carmen, caves, beaches, and lagoons: That was today. I drove a jeep with a slippery transmission. It also didn't like to restrict reverse when shifting from fifth to sixth. High speed grinding gears: not fantastic.

After about four hours of swimming, brother gets tired. We traveled back to Cozumel to hit the shops but for some reason, it didn't have the same flair as the first time a few months ago. We needed something to drink. We couldn't have drunk everything in all of Mexico so I'll say that the drink supply was massively lacking in Cozumel at that time. I only felt the need to buy two drinks.

This was a good place to start. It was just pomegranate juice. I love pomegranates. Love 'em. This was just juice, so it's hard to review. If you could imagine a pomegranate juice that is not too sweet and tastes like a less bitter pomegranate, you've got it.

Now it's time for dinner, more karaoke with me probably singing Tears For Fears, and probably more Rex.

Today we woke up to the sunny shore of Grand Cayman. An island whose economy is flourishing since the value of the US dollar is $0.80. Honestly, every drink I bought was not from a tourist trap and they were all over $3. I spent like $20 on about half a dozen pretty basic drinks.

Anyhow, Jessika and I went scuba...ing and it was awesome: tarpon as big as a six years old boy plus a legit shipwreck.

There was no rhyme or reason as to what I picked first but you should know that I was a bit partial to this drink as Grace stuff has been wonderful to us Thirsty Dudes.

I don't know what a june plum is, but I think I know what a golden apple, which is the parenthesized title of this drink. My guess is a yellow apple. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Either way the flavor was that of a weak apple. It doesn't stop there, though. There was ginger in it and that little bit of bite, that little bit of spice, made this drink. It wasn't as much as a ginger beer, but it was enough to make you do a double take because it "zinged" you. You got zinged, dogg.

I can't get this stuff back home, hence, why I got it on the Cayman Islands. Sure, everything is too expensive, even for a tourist trap, but it did give me this little gem.

Mike and I get nutty over Hansen's sodas. A few years ago he ordered a case and he and editor Dan went on a mini tour with my old band. We drank way more soda than anyone should, but we were stuck in a van for long periods of time, and you get bored, so you drink. The thing is that Mike ordered all of the fruity flavors. They were all great. Even when they were on the verge of boiling from being in the van for days in the middle of August, they still tasted good (albeit extremely weird and corrosive). For as much as I love their other sodas this is the first time that I have tried their root beer, and I am shockingly not impressed. It tastes like the company took a normal everyday root beer like A&W or Dads and just switched out the sweetener for cane sugar. There's nothing really special to the flavor at all. Since it claims to be creamy, I expected there to be a heavy vanilla presence, but it's only slightly more apparent than in “normal” root beers. I can't say that I dislike it at all, but I just expected more from a company who has made other sodas that were so spectacular.

Felix was a cat that lived in Rio de Janeiro. He loved the nightlife and he never wanted to leave. He lived there all his life and was very accustomed to the sights, sounds, and most of all, smells. He was a cat that roamed around during the day to the local eateries and was a common face. Shop owners would leave out saucers of milk because Felix was such a good cat.

One time, it was late at night. Music was playing and people were dancing. Felix was having a good time in the alley just watching. He found himself a bit thirsty so he walked around the corner to see if he could find something to eat. Just then, he heard someone yell, "Hey! Cat!" Felix turned around and it was an old man who worked at a spice shop. The man said "Hey cat. Come here." he then laid out a nice saucer of milk and put some cinnamon in it. He told the cat that he was sure to love it. Felix looked down at the milk and it was quite inviting. He took one lap and was in love. It was sweet, cinnamony, and still was a nice, milky drink. This will most certainly be a stop he makes more often.

I really wish I had been the one to review the “regular” sweet tea that Tradewinds makes. I would have liked to compare it to this to see just how much sweeter this is. I will say that this is the closest tasting prepackaged tea that I have ever had to authentic sweet tea that I've drunk on trips down south. It's just brewed black tea leaves and sugar, glorious, glorious sugar. There is no mistaking that real sugar taste in here. It tastes like someone filled up a pitcher with water, put in a mess of tea bags, and an even bigger mess of sugar and let it sit in the sun for a few hours to warm it up and let it brew. It makes me want to sit in a rocking chair on a front porch with an old dusty dog. I don't think there's a bigger compliment for sweet tea. Oh yeah if you drink one of these a day for a month I'm pretty sure your teeth will rot out of your head. Make sure you brush properly. I don't want to play any part in your poor dental hygiene.

The year was 2000. Y2K had come and gone without a sound, Bill Clinton was still president, and I had just graduated from high school. After graduation, I moved into a house in Buffalo just around the corner from the coffee shop Stimulance. This coffee shop would quickly become a place I went to a lot. From getting a bagel with cream cheese in the morning, to evenings drinking Snicker-chinos (a delicious coffee drink that tasted like a burnt Snickers bar). Lets not forget their classic weekly open mic nights. Oh memories...

So why am I talking about this coffee shop that has long since closed? Well it was the first place I ever bought a bottle of Nantucket Nectars from. It was a bottle of their lemonade and I was instantly hooked. This bottle is their half and half (half lemonade, half iced tea) and it's just as good as the solo lemonade flavor. A lot of companies get the ratio all wrong, but those folks in Nantucket know what they're doing.

Cherry: a fantastic fruit. Sour cherry: less desirable than "standard issue" cherry. This, though, I don't know what's going on in here. It seems like someone didn't add enough water to a concentrate and my dumb mouth is feeling the blunt of this disaster area of a drink. It smells like it's going to be good but man, my nose is lucky it doesn't know what's going on in it's Southern friend, the mouth's, habitat.

It's not too sweet and you can actually taste sour cherry but it's the viscosity of the whole thing that just craps the bed. Gross. Simply gross.

Dear employees at this fine company. I have an admission to make. Look folks, I should tell you that I am not the best as measuring. I have ruined every cake I've ever made. I have made a lot of money in this business and have bought a very nice oven and it works perfectly. I cannot blame the oven for my consistently burnt cookies and cupcakes. It's the fact that I get all messed up and backwards when it comes to teaspoons, tablespoons, cups, grams, yards, gallons, ounces, and the like. For that, I apologize in advance.

The reason I bring you in here is because I have once again failed the exam and messed up the mix. For this run of our Frio Cappuccino, I have calculated that we add more water than we're supposed to add. There are pros and cons to this. Pro: we get to make more and the cost per bottle is less. Con: we get a watered down cappuccino. Now I've tasted it and I've got to be honest, it's not terrible but it tastes like it should have more body to it. I might add less sugar, too, but that's not why I called you in here.

This isn't going to close the factory. We've done well for ourselves, but we might make a little less on this than we did on any of our previous endeavors. If someone could just review my math next time we prepare to put a drink out, that would be great. There is pizza in the break room for anyone interested. If you aren't interested, why aren't you interested? It's pizza.

Tyler loved basketball. Basketball was his favorite sport. He liked the way the players dribbled up and down the court. He saw them just sweating on the court, everyone wearing shorts, light jerseys, and still needing sweatbands. Sweat everywhere. They were drinking so it's not like they were dehydrated or dehydrating. Maybe they needed something better, something with flavor, something with vitamins, something with minerals, something fun, something low in calories. He searched high and low in markets and stores and found the perfect drink. Karma Wellness Water, namely the pineapple coconut flavor.

He bought a case of the stuff and went to Madison Square Gardens where the Knicks were playing the Chicago Bulls. He saw that Spike Lee was outside and was going in. He talked to him for a couple minutes and convinced him to let him sit next to him right next to the bench so he could give players the drinks. Throughout the game, players would be benched and Tyler would hand the players drinks. He loved to watch the players poke the flavor into the drink and smile. Every time without fail they would do that. Sometimes they would look back and give Tyler a thumbs up. That made his day. When the game was over he shook Spike Lee's hand and thanked him. He was walking out and someone called his name. He turned around and it was Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippin! He didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to do. They told him that they liked the drinks. They liked that it was tropical and they could taste both he coconut and pineapple. It wasn't too sweet and was very refreshing. Then Michael Jordan reached in his pocket and handed him a season pass to Knicks games. He thought it was strange but it's more important that he liked basketball than the Bulls. He lived in New York. What was he going to do with a season pass to Chicago living in New York. He thanked Scottie and Michael and walked away after having the best night of his life. All thanks to Karma.

Wawa: The Pride of Pennsylvania. Now that's a slogan the state should look into. Sure I know there are Wawa stores in a couple other states, but I always associate it with PA, specifically Philadelphia. They are truly something to be proud about as well. I've been in an obscene amount of gas stations, mini marts and convenient stores in my day and I can safely say that Wawa falls in the top three greatest I have ever been in. The greatest of their achievements is their ever-expanding line of iced teas. They are a made with real sugar and actual brewed tea, something to boast about in the world of store brands. My most recent trip to Philly was the first time I had seen this flavor there. I quickly grabbed it and some soft pretzels and made my way for the door (well after paying of course). Once outside I clicked a quick picture and downed most of the bottle with my salty bread products. It was a wonderful combination. The surprising thing about this tea is how much it actually tastes like tangerines. I've had a few tangerine flavored drinks in my time and I have to say this is one of the more authentic tasting ones. The goose has shown us the way once again.

First off I would like to thank you on behalf of our resort for choosing us as your vacation destination. We know that Mexico has gotten a lot of bad press lately for being dangerous, but we just wanted to let you know that our resort, and it's approved activities, are as safe as can be. We understand that for many of you this is your first time visiting our fair country. We are sure that you will have nothing but the best of times on your trip. We would like to start you off properly by serving you some nice aguas frescas. For those of you who are unaware what I am talking about, aquas fresas are fruit flavored coolers. To make things extra special we have some special Jamaica coolers today. Jamaica is another name for hibiscus and you are in for a treat. Don't worry Ms. Vanderhosen it's not going to taste like your perfume. While it is a flower, when you add sugar to it, it brings out the sweetness and the floral taste is left wayside. Now each of you take a bottle. Why the look Ms. Vanderhosen? No it is not fresh, I am sorry that you thought it would be. Believe me I would love to serve you fresh agua frescas morning, noon and night, but the Nestle company is one of our main stock holders, so they make us serve their products. It is 100% natural though, so there is no need to worry, drink up. Now Ms. Vanderhosen there was no need for you to spit your drink all over poor Mr. Saunders. I'm sorry you don't like the taste, but the flavor did not warrant a spit take. I'm sorry that you think it tastes oddly sour and dark, yet overly sweet at the same time. I admit I don't particularly like it myself. I agree that I would prefer it to be lighter and more flowery myself, but beggars can't be choosers. Ms. Vanderhosen please wait. It's not safe outside of our compound walls for you, there is a drug war raging out there. Oh, you would rather take your chances with the cartel and drink a fresh agua fresca than stay in the safety of this resort and choke down bottle after bottle of this sludge? Well, I wish you good luck then.

Gentlemen we are in a predicament. The entire 90's coffee shop fad is finally collapsing and it is seriously affecting the industry. Sure we still have all of the customers that we got hooked back then, but how are we to hook young kids. The whole attraction to the counter culture has gone out the window. In fact the counter culture has become the main culture. The idea of a man with an orange Mohawk and a boa constrictor around his neck has become commonplace. Coffee shops used to be a mysterious place that was for the artists and the “freaks.” Now they are full of college kids with laptops. The youth doesn't want to be like college kids. That is what is expected of them. They are attracted to the cool and unusual. On top of that it seems that a lot of diner style restaurants are putting a ban on kids just hanging out there. Where are earth are these kids supposed to get hooked on coffee? Our quick fix solution is to create and market drinks that are coffee based, but also that don't exactly taste like coffee. We'll make the labels look attractive and hopefully it will become an item of interest for youngsters. Our research shows that while kids could care less about the word “latte” that “cappuccino” is still alluring to them. It sounds grown up and dangerous. Due to this our first beverage in this line will be a cappuccino. The problem is that kids need to be acclimated to the taste of coffee, so we're going to put a bunch of cream and sugar in it, and to top it off a healthy dollop of vanilla flavoring. The result is closer to a vanilla hot chocolate than coffee, but the kids will associate it with coffee, and the trace amounts of coffee flavor in it will work on their taste buds. Gentlemen, I think we're on to something here and this could save our entire industry for future generations. Now someone get me a cup of black coffee, this is really a drink for kids and people who aren't serious coffee drinkers.

Apparently there is something wrong with me. I don't care for oranges and I especially don't care for creamsicles. If it was a hot, summer day and you offered me a creamsicle, I would kindly deny it. If you offered it to me again, I would less kindly deny it. If you were to re-offer it to me for a third time I would not-kindly stab you in the stomach with said creamsicle. With enough force, the hard, wooden stick would stab you in the stomach and the creamsicle would melt and make your lower portions very sticky. No one wants that so don't offer me a creamsicle.

This tastes like a creamsicle but it's not bad because it almost tastes like a creamsicle that your strange mom would make you. "We don't buy creamsicles because we can make them at home cheaper." she always says. She mixes orange juice, sugar, and milk in a bowl, pours it into an ice cube tray and covers it in cellophane and puts little toothpicks in it. That's what it tastes like. Classic mom. If you like the ingredients, you will like this. If you like creamsicles, you will like this. If you like your mom, you will like this. If you are vegan, you would like this given enough bodily training so you body can re-learn how to process dairy products.

Practice makes perfect in milk, sports, and musicianship.