Sugar - 840 Reviews

You know what would be great? If the two "famous" Mike Judges were actually the same person. You know in the late 80's he played in the straight edge hardcore band "Judge." Then he decided that the whole edge thing just wasn't for him and he started drinking and such, thus leading to "Mike Judge and the Old Smoke." I don't know if that's the real tale but that's what I always heard. How rad would it be if during that time he created Beavis & Butthead, Daria and Office Space? I'd have to say that he was much better at comedy than making music if that was the case. Why does any of this matter? It matters because the crossed hammers on this can make me think of Judge and nothing else. In the world of 80's hardcore and modern day energy drinks I would have to say I feel the exact same way about both of them. There were a whole lotta bands from that era that blew Judge out of the water and there are an obscene amount of energy drinks that do the same to this. It's insanely tart and not all that pleasant to drink. It's "Triple Citrus," which I assume from that flavor means it's tangerine, orange and a mystery citrus. I wanna say pineapple, but I don't really think that is it. It basically like someone took a whole bunch of unripe citrus fruit, juiced it (poorly) and added that famous energy drink cocktail. I'm sure Judge era Mike would never drink this, just as I'm sure that comedy era wouldn't as well. I bet that at his lowest (aka Old Smoke) he would have downed can after can of this in self loathing. Oh wait, you mean he is two different people? Well at least I appreciate one of them.

Jay doesn't like lemon drinks. I don't 100% know why but I think it has something to do with how it has the potential to taste a little like Pledge or Pine Sol. I don't get that when I drink lemon stuff and I also don't hate lemon so Jay usually gives them to me. I think he gave me this one and for once his complaint is valid.

This drink is one of the worst lemon green teas I've ever had. It's got a green tea taste that's trying to shine through too much sugar and bad lemon. Reading the ingredients, you don't have to be detective Goren to know that "artificial lemon flavor" is going to blow. There is something else that's pretty bad in there but I can't pinpoint it specifically other than "it tastes like fake everything" like who ever made this drink made a natural version of the drink and mixed in the cheap, regular version of the drink. You can taste what should have been but it's been crushed by the other stuff leaving you with a confused, unsatisfied palate.

It's not often that most Americans find themselves in the state of Maine. I certainly do not find myself often enough. It's a great state full of awesome nature and apparently awesome drinks such as those made by the Oakhurst Dairy.

This is labeled as raspberry flavored lemonade, but it's really a glorious lemonade flavored raspberry drink. There is a whole lotta sugar in this drink, but that is the way lemonade should be. I love this way more than I expected to. The raspberry flavor is great. I wish it was still blazing hot summer out and this would beat the heat like nobodies business.

Black. The first and greatest thing that I thought of was this clip from Don't Be A Menace with the late, great Bernie Mac. I poured this into a class so someone could drink it and it was pitch black. It's iced coffee and it has sugar in it but sugar was no match for the darkness of the coffee. No match. It's a no-joke, black coffee with sugar in it. According to the expiration on the bottom of the can, it also expired almost two years back. Honestly, I think that this coffee can beat things like estimated expiration dates. I think this coffee could beat nuclear war, poison, the common cold, and SAT prep tests. Black and strong like women like their men and men like their women. Black and strong like Bernie Mac. Vietnam makes a strong coffee, man. If you like it, like this, this is for you without a doubt.

Every couple of days when I finish up printing t-shirts I find a nice package waiting in my front hall for me. The drink companies of the United States have been very kind to us and we whole-heartedly appreciate it. Today was one such day and as it turns out there were two boxes waiting (This and one from Mountain Dew). Normally I'll bring the boxes inside, put them on the table and get cleaned up/make some food. After I'm all settled in and fed I'll see what gifts came in the post. I'll open them up, take some pictures and then put them in my “to-drink” pile. I'll usually get to them within a week, but I have such a backlog of things to review that occasionally it takes a bit longer. Today was a very different day. I saw that the box said perishable so I opened it as soon as I got inside. When I saw that what the box contained was hibiscus tea I was stoked. We had gotten an email about this drink and I knew that it also had ginger in it; I started salivating. It was in a cooler, and the drinks were still very cold, so I quickly took some pictures and opened one up before my camera could even save the file to it's memory card.

As soon as I took a sip I was filled with a deep sadness that could very well lead to a dark depression. You see this drink is so ridiculously good that knowing that I have so little of it, and that my willpower is weak, that it will soon be gone from my life. You see I can't get this drink around me. It's made in Georgia, and I believe it's only available in that self same state.

It's a fairly sweet tea that has the faint hint of floral hibiscus. Mike and I have argued over whether we love hibiscus or not. I kept telling him that in fact we were not we just had one hibiscus drink that blew our socks off and the rest were merely mediocre. I hereby take back everything I said. This drink showed me that when prepared properly hibiscus could be a gift given by the gods. You know what another one of their gifts was? That's right, ginger. I love ginger. I can't get enough. Mixed in with this already wonderful tea and I'm in heaven. This is real ginger, so it has the faintest of burns and the greatest of flavors. Throw in a few other spices and it's almost more than I can handle.

This drink is absolutely perfect. I just mapped it out and it would take me 14.5 hours to drive to Florida. If I leave now I can get there around 9am tomorrow. I also have two bottles left to give me a fix along the way. I may have to rent a Uhaul because I don't think I can fit as much as I would need in my tiny hatchback.

Flavored cream sodas have become my new favorite sub genre of drinks. If you think about it, you can add almost anything to cream soda. I wonder what a cola cream soda would be like? This is my first strawberry cream soda and I must say, I'm sold! This soda is delicious, and I'm not usually a fan of strawberry flavored drinks. It's the perfect mixture of fruity and creamy. I see that Lost Trail makes a root beer too. If it's half as good as this, we are in for a treat. I found this lone bottle in a Whole Foods in Utah so hopefully we can find it available somewhere in Buffalo.

I'm sure the company is sick of references to gangsters when it comes to their products, but how could you not with a name like Capone, and they are based out of Chicago? I for one am a sucker for movies on the subject. There is something about Chicago in the 20's that is insanely alluring to me. The decade as a whole is fascinating to me. I blame that mostly on the writings of F. Scott Fitzgerald. You couple that with organized crime and you have a romance that I'd love to be a part of. In reality it would probably have been terrible to live in that time, but if my current self could visit there I would do it in a second. I would especially do it if I had access to the stash of soda in the Capone warehouses. If this is bottle I have is any indication of what the original was like, I would be in heaven.

At first this seems like a very general root beer. It tastes how most people would describe the flavor of root beer when asked. The more you mull it over though, the most flavors seep out onto your taste buds. This has one of the strongest caramel flavors I've ever tastes in a soda. It doesn't taste like you're pouring caramel ice cream topping in your mouth, but it is smooth and flavorful. It also has some spices in the mix. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it works well with the caramel. The aftertaste is where the vanilla gets to shine and then the sun sets and you're finished with the bottle. That would be a sad time if I hadn't used a time machine to go back to the 20's and party down during prohibition.

I find it odd that "drink" is appended to the title of this drink. Is this drink not a tea of the black variety? There are like four ingredients. There are so few ingredients that I will list each and every one. And I read: Water, sugar, black tea, and barley. Done. End. It seems odd that they wouldn't just call it "Black tea with barley" or "Barley Black Tea" like Uni-President did with one of my favorite drinks.

How does this taste? Like cereal. Like if you ate Cheerios with water and drank the milk afterwards. It's not that bad. Perhaps a little too sweet for me, but it's not bad. I don't get a strong black tea taste as the barley cuts right through pretty strongly.

I also don't particularly understand the "The Noir" title of this. Is it a sub-title? Black Tea Drink The Black like people would know what it is. Code name? I don't think there is a line of "Black Tea Drink" drinks that there is a need for another one. This drink is an enigma filled with unanswered questions.

“…€¦that brings in the whole category of countries. Where to start? Well, the obvious one. The birthplace of spaghetti and pasta, all the oily stuff... Italy.” Very smooth Coop, but you forgot one thing; Italy also produces one hell of a peach ice tea under the Paradiso company. I don't know if this would really pair well with pasta, but it would certainly be great to be sipping on a bottle of this while strolling through some Italian city or another, just taking it all in.
It says that it's made with tea flavor, but it does taste more like real tea than any other “tea flavor” teas I've tried. The really star of this drink is the peach though. It has both peach juice and peach flavor in it. That means that while you're drinking it your mouth is filled with the flavor of real peaches. Then when you swallow you get a hint of peach gummy candy. It's be best of both worlds (even though the gummy candy flavor is only faint). The peach flavor is strong. I would prefer a little more tea in the ratio, but I'll take what I can get. Now if you'll excuse me I told Coop I would help him clean up some goat turds. How did I get suckered into this?

So…€¦I knew I had a Martinelli's lemonade in my fridge. Earlier I grabbed a drink quick whilst I was working, and since it was a nice day out and my shop was sweltering hot I decided that lemonade would hit the spot. When I grabbed it I saw that it was blood orange flavored, but in my head that meant that it was blood orange flavored lemonade, not just blood orange juice. I drank most of it and saved a couple of sips for when I wrote the review, aka now. The entire time I was drinking this earlier the idea of it not being flavored lemonade never crossed my mind. It wasn't until I was just checking the sweetener on the ingredient list that I saw that there was no lemon in it at all. I then checked the rest of the packaging and realized that it was just juice, not lemonade.

Now sure orange juice can be bitter, but when it has 31g of sugar in it, it generally isn't. This on the other hand has the sugar and the juice and it is sour like lemonade. Knowing that is not what it is supposed to be is a bit of a let down. It would be a decent orange lemonade, but as a blood orange juice it leaves something to be desired. Generally blood orange has a very strong flavor, and this is a bit weak and watered down. I guess it is only 11% juice. I'm just going to go back to pretending it's a time when I thought that it was flavored lemonade and I was really enjoying it.

Today, for National Frappe Day, I voluntarily bought this Frappuccino. I made a wise decision with this flavor. Nothing compliments a brisket taco like a salted, caramel, mocha, coffee drink. What a monumental day, a new drink for me, and a new taco offered by a place that I frequent frequently. I had to celebrate this "almost" holiday in style and getting this guy made it.

The mix between all these flavors is just awesome. The salt makes it a little more "adult." Kids just don't understand that salted sweets can be a wonderful thing. This past weekend I bought chocolate covered pretzel sticks. Salt and sweet: a great thing. The salt is always there but it's an undertone to the frontrunners that are mocha (coffee and chocolate) and caramel.

Now I watched the dude make this drink with complete apathy but process and procedure is process and procedure and because of these rules and guidelines, he added actual sea salt. Gritty, delicious, ideal sea salt. No cheap, garbage, table salt. Actual sea salt. I would have had no problem with a little bit of salty crunch in my drink but I completely understand why Starbucks doesn't think that everyone doesn't have the worldly palate like us three Thirsty Dudes.

Starbucks and to a lesser extent, McDonalds and Burger King; I wish you a happy National Frappe Day. We at Thirsty Dudes honored this day in the rightful and just way.

I'll take a coffee, please. One sugar. Thanks. Ahh! This coffee is far too hot. Can I put this in your fridge to cool it down? Thank you very much. It smells great, but I just can't sip it without the fear of burning my mouth. We all know that nothing ruins your day like burning the roof of your mouth. Sure, I'd love to go to the mall.

[four hours later]

Did you see the great deal I got on these slacks? It's like I stole them from the store. Oh crudbuckets. I forgot my coffee in your fridge. You know what? I'll drink it. No, you don't need to make me another one. I drink iced coffee at work. What's the difference between that and this? Ice and some fancy but unnecessary syrup? I'm fine with this, thank you very much.

You know what? They must be adding something else I'm missing out on at the coffee shop because this just tastes kind of like cold coffee. I know, I know. It is cold coffee. You know, when I was in Taiwan, they had these tiny but near indestructible cans of coffee by some dude who looked like Dom Delouise called Mr. Brown. This is that, or that is this. Regardless of what it is, I have just created it in your home and now have no need to ever but it again.

My body is now filled with premium giant hornet DNA. I can fly through the air scaring people but really not doing any harm. I can hang out with other hornets and make nests in people's decks and only emerge from my slumber when people are having a backyard get together. I am now a hornet all thanks to an energy drink. Just one sip of this energy drink makes me cringe a little due to the super-sweetness but after a few more, I have become immune to the tartness and the sweetness and can now enjoy the strange, energy drink taste of it. I am energized enough to go build a giant hive in someone's garage when they aren't looking so when they get the skis out of it come winter, they will find a nice surprise. I am energized enough to watch Bee Movie and wonder what it would be like if they made a Hornet Movie and if it would really be any different and who would play me in it. I have the energy to do anything that a hornet would do and when I "come down" I will be a human again and will probably be quite lethargic and will stop being productive and probably just play video games. It makes you think...

Do peaches need to shave? No other fruit is hairy. That's where my head goes. I've never been to counseling or to see a therapist and honestly, I think I wouldn't care if I had to go. I'd like to be analyzed. Where do these stories come from that we make up? I'm lumping Jay in this with me because we're on the same page with a lot of things. Peach honey tea that normal people would describe as something like, “it tastes good, peachy, and is lacking a bit of the aforementioned honey taste but still tastes like a decent peach tea.” I go the complete opposite direction and decide to talk about how peaches are the hippies, or me, of the fruit world. Anyone care to diagnose me? Where does that hair go when they make tea? If it's 100% natural you would think that little hairs would get in the drink and make it a little strange. I know they're little but there would be so many in there that it would account for something to eventually get stuck in your teeth. Do they run peach teas through the world's smallest holed filter to eliminate those bad boys? After that do they do something with that hair like make shirts or use them for some strange medicinal purpose? "I only use natural remedies and peach fuzz is great for my arthritis."

Yeah. I'm fine. This tea tastes like you think it would and loses in the non-confrontational battle between the Strawberry Dragonfruit. That's a legitimate/bad review right there.

Ahh the Swiss and their mountains. They love those darn things. They also love things like Swatch watches, the 80's, skiing competitions, pop music, fluorescent colors, and precision. I would love to meet the person who made this tea because I can almost guarantee that they had a gnarly, white beard. He is a man of the forest. One man scours the trees and bushes for the best ingredients to make this tea. It's all over the place, too, much like the decor in that man's cabin in the woods. Oh, I'm sorry. Did you think that it was going to be a standard issue log cabin? No. He was a mechanical engineer in his early life so everything has switches, dials, chutes, and tubes. If you talk to him, he will outright tell you that a bank closed down and he bought all the vacuum tubes for his house.

Anyhow, he puts these ingredients together into was is a cool, sweet iced tea. It tastes minty because there is peppermint in it but it also has an earthy taste, like woodsy. The same thing that is "bark-like" about, say, a spruce beer, is what gets me about this. This is a carefully made drink that deserves to be sipped and analyzed.

That lovely Swede makes a wonderful tea that, although isn't cheap, deserves to be tries a couple times because it's that good and that different.

I'm at my parent's house. My girlfriend went to Baltimore, or "Stab City" as Jay likes to call it, for fun and it's just Max and I. We're chilling like brothers. Speaking of brothers, my brother Brian and I were crushing it in Army of Two: The 40th Day and Max decided he didn't want us to play anymore so he shut off the Xbox. Could have done without that but hey, we're going to see monkeys later so I guess what better time than then to shut her down?

I slept on the couch and to help wake up, I drank this. I don't know why. Society tells me that coffee wakes me up but it doesn't. You know what wakes me up? Being up for like fifteen minutes. Irregardless (not a word) I drank it and it was good. Not as good as the mocha but good. Think of a gas station cappuccino that was too hot when you got it so when you got home you put it in the fridge to cool down but then an episode of Monk came on that you hadn't seen before and you forgot about it until it was downright cold. Not as "fresh brewed" as the mocha and obviously not with any chocolate loveliness paired with it.

Now we're going to see monkeys with my mom. It should be fun but what might be more fun is going to Big Lots after. The Thirsty Dudes are pathetic. Seriously.

This drink reminds me of my daddy. Growing up and living at home, my daddy always woke up before me to go to work. He would make a pot of coffee. He and my mom drank and still drink coffee but now they drink out of the Keurig because my daddy is decaf and my mom isn't. My daddy's breath was always coffee scented and drinking this reminds me of the rare occasion that I would try it. Also, when he scorned me for doing dumb stuff, which happened all the time, I couldn't help but smell his coffee breath.

I love coffee drinks but this drink is simply too much coffee and not enough...something. I don't know what I like about coffee drinks. I do like the flavor of coffee. Coffee ice cream is great but this is too close to what coffee is. If you want a coffee, this is it just colder. It's like an iced coffee but not gluttonously large and sans ice. I guess that's like 66% of what makes an iced coffee an iced coffee, but you know what I mean. Take a cup of coffee, put in more sugar than you would use in your regular coffee, and throw it in the fridge.

Daddy, if you're reading this, which since I know you because I came from you so I can assume you aren't but I'll finish this thought anyway, you would like this. It would remind you of you a decade plus ago. Remember that man? I do.

Rico "Scorpio" Rodriguez is the protagonist in the video game "Just Cause 2." He is in one as well but I haven't played that and I'm currently playing two. I have been playing this game, not today, but overall for the past month and a half or so for thirty-seven hours. That's almost a workweek of my life playing this game. That being said, I am only 38% of the way through. Back to Rico. There is no sleep and no rest in this game. The only rest would be when he's surfing on top of cars or parachuting from high places. No actual sleep though. I'm thinking that when I turn off my Xbox, he's taking swigs of this triple mocha Shock Coffee. It's juicing him up for the next time we take on the government faction. Them and their propaganda trying to recruit the innocent people of Panau. They're just trying to do their own thing and Pandak Panay is ruining the otherwise tropical islands. I know that it would work for Rico because I was nearly asleep a few hours ago and next thing you know, it's almost two o'clock and I've been playing since around nine thirty. Rico and I are putting in some man hours and the espresso and sugar are really getting us going. It's such a good, natural brewed taste that I wish it came in a larger can. I do not want to be up, though, so it's a good thing that it doesn't. If they could tone it down somehow and double the size leading to the same results but with more quantity, I would have been stoked.

Rico and I have some things to do include take control of the islands of Panau by any means necessary and I do mean any.

I have a vision in my head. Come with me. There are two groups of kids. One side has oranges and one side has mangoes. These kids are all the pitchers from local little league teams, armed with a seemingly infinite amount of fruit. At the signal, they throw fruit at each other over a big pipe. There is a piece of clear plexiglass in the middle so when the throw their fruit, it hits the glass and slides down into a juicer. All the juice goes through the pipe and gets mixed with carbonated water and canned and the solids are spat at the opposing side leaving the kids covered in a fruity pulp. It's all for fun. Kids have fun and they help out the company.

This tastes like just carbonated orange and mango. It's not too sweet and isn't terrible for you. It makes it better when I imagine where it comes from rather than where my educated mind tells me it's from. Remember that scene in Blues Brothers where the people threw beer bottles at them in the bar? That's what I'm imagining but with fruit and not hooch. That's much better and appetizing than a clean factory filled with hairnets and adults.

Greg was a troubled teen. He spent a lot of his youth stealing candy and snacks from stores. He never got in any real trouble, as he was a good kid otherwise. He was just a little bit sneaky. Greg would steal a pack of gum or bag of chips or can of pop but nothing worth more than a couple dollars.

One day, he was thirsty and went across the street to get something to drink. He saw a bottle of Martinelli's half and half and thought that it was in a cool bottle and he needed it. He grabbed two off the shelf, put them in his oversized pockets, and walked out of the store. He sat down around the corner and drank a bottle of it. He liked it a lot. It was different because it wasn't so sweet like other iced tea and lemonades. It was an even split, just like how it was advertised. It had a little pulp towards the end, but it wasn't too tart.

He was just about to open the second one and old man Harris, the owner of the store came out and saw him drinking a stolen drink and chased after him. They got around the block and Greg grabbed the bottle like a baseball, which it is in the shape of, and threw it at old man Harris. Harris caught it, yelled at him to stop stealing from the store and walked back. That kind of scared Greg and he only stole a few more times and went straight after that.