I'm a bit out of season at this point with this drink, but it got lost in the piles of beverages that make up a majority of the room that was once a kitchen in my house. In reality things haven't gotten that out of control, but a large portion of my fridge, several cupboards and a shelf have all been claimed by Thirsty Dudes “to be reviewed” drinks. As you can imagine drinks do often get forgotten in the “shuffle.”

Now that I am finally getting around to drinking this, I'm a bit bummed that I didn't drink it sometime last year (2-3 months ago for those of you reading this in future times. Do hoverboards exist yet? I really hope so. I've already been waiting on those things for decades.). On a nice unseasonably warm fall day this would have been quite fitting. Not so much on a blustery January evening. I feel like I should be walking around a park with a dog and picking up sticks for the fallen leaves for the dog to play fetch with. The idea of wearing only a hoodie and jeans is like a dream now. I fear my fingers may succumb to frostbite as I type this. Anyway, it would be a nice Sunday afternoon, the sun will be bright in the sky, my dog companion will be having the time of his life, not knowing that cold fronts that will soon be moving in, and I'd be sipping on this little bottle of spiced goodness.

This is sweet and has more milk in it than any serious coffee drinker would like. Lucky for me I am not a serious coffee drinker, so I enjoyed it a bit. The pumpkin spice isn't very strong, and also isn't very pumpkin like. It tastes like someone added half of a shot of chai to some iced coffee. It's good I like it. My imaginary dog also liked it when he thought it was the stick and jumped at me, thus knocking it out of my hand in the made up scenario in my head. Dr. Leo Marvin you sure are an annoying dog sometimes. Just for that I shall not take you sailing with me in my upcoming imagined vacation.

You know how I like my coconut drinks? When they don't taste like coconut. {pause for laughter} I like coconut just fine in small amounts shaven atop an iced cream but in drinks, unless they are ice friggin' cold, as far away as possible. They're typically just dusty, chalky messes of liquid that should have never been made in the first place. Yeah, I know it's harsh but I don't give a rip. Drink like a normal person and tell me you haven't had to refrigerate a drink to refresh it or just flat out thrown it in the filth can. Come on. Be honest. I don't care. I've dumped plenty of drinks because of those reasons. Sure, I drink more than the normal person, but in ratio, aren't we all the same?

This drink held on to its decency for longer than most. It had an "orange drink" taste more than an actual fruit but it wasn't a bad taste. The entire time it did taste like coconut but they don't make coconut drinks to completely disguise the core flavor. That's just stupid. It was almost like you watered down juice with some coconut water. Neither flavors are bold and in your face but rather subtle and, dare I say, nice.

Coconut, you're getting better. I now have the power to go into the blistering cold and get my little buddy from day care. Without you, I might have just left him there to fend for himself in the snow to take the bus home and be a friggin' man. You're almost two. Get a job and take the bus.

I woke up feeling like complete garbage today. It was strange though, as I didn't feel sick at all. My head felt fine. I wasn't stuffy, or have any sort of cold. My body just felt like it had gotten the ever-loving crap beat out of it last night. That way I felt is what I imagine having a hangover is like, well minus the headache. I didn't do anything crazy last night. I just hung out with some people at a friend's house and drank a single can of ginger beer. I didn't eat any junk food or anything. I have no idea what brought on the fake hell my body didn't really go through, but I was paying for it. I remembered that some of my friends drink coconut water to help them rehydrate and work through their real hangovers so I decided to give it a try.

This is only the second flavor of Vita Coco we have reviewed, and “That is shocking!” The other one was the first coconut water we reviewed, and I didn't realize that it had to be drunken ice cold. I gave it an absolutely terrible review. I really need to go back and re-review that. I didn't know how to drink it properly and my distaste was my fault, not the drinks. While I'm still not an enormous fan of coconut water, I don't mind them at all now. This one I find particularly enjoyable. It's just coconut water, passion fruit and pineapple puree. 2/3 of the ingredients in this bottle are some of my favorite flavors in the world, so it's got that going for it. It is still primarily coconut water though. The fruit are there only as light splashes of flavor. They do not overpower or ruin the integrity of the beverage.

I downed this carton. I laid down for about 45 minutes and when I got up I felt pretty close to normal. I guess I really was dehydrated. I wonder what in the world caused that. I now know that coconut water is the cure for those sorts of ailments though.

Would you look at that face? That is the face of a child who just opened her birthday presents and she is not happy with the results. All she wanted was a classic blonde 1972 Fender Telecaster bass and instead what she got was a brand new knock off that looks like a toy. To add insult to injury it was also fretless…€¦ick. Well at least her parents got her a case of orange and cream soda. Orange cream is her favorite soda flavors and only the sweet, sweet flavor of creamsicle soda will right this evil that has been put upon her. What the hell is this? This one is certainly not her parent's fault. It's labeled orange and cream, but this doesn't taste the way she wants it to. Neither the orange, nor the vanilla cream tastes are right, and together they taste nothing like a melted creamsicle. It's like they took garbage generic orange pop and put in the smallest hint of vanilla that is just not pulling its weight. In fact it tastes more like a generic sweet soda flavor than anything. That's it. She's just turned two and this little girl already knows this is the worst birthday that has and will ever exist. She might as well burn the house down.

I've had my fair share of these drinks, and this is probably the best tasting of the bunch. It has a generic fake orange flavor to it with a hint of ginger (no burn) that tries to fight the fake sugar taste that lingers at the end. The fact that it is non-carbonated only helps. It goes down smooth, and it serves its function.

For once my issue with a functional beverage isn't with the flavor, it's with the name. I really have no idea why I have never questioned it before, but why is this company called Celsius? What does that have to do with eliminated calories? I mean I get that they are trying to tie it in with burning calories, and flames are hot and Celsius is a unit of measurement for temperature. It just seems like there has to be something more behind it, and I want to know what it is. There's more to this story, and the ex-reporter in me wants to find out what it is. The ex-15-year-old in me couldn't care less and just wants to go and play video games until his friends call. Guess who's going to win out?

Do you think that Nu South was inspired by Nu Metal? I certainly hope so. Look, joke about nu metal all you want but seriously, some of those southern dudes can shred. Finger blistering solos, just destroying the neck. Calluses that could hold hot irons for an extended period of time. I wonder if the dudes from Slipknot, even though they are not from the South but are nu metal, blow the crowd away with an awesome set and then go backstage, sit on a couch together, all eight or nine of them, it's a sectional with a couple additional sections. What? It's in their rider. Anyhow, they sit down and the stagehand hands them a case of of Nu South?

On a hot summer day in the South, a cool glass of this would probably be pretty good. A lukewarm bottle on a nineteen-degree day after doing nothing in the North East doesn't do this drink justice. It's got that strange "is it carbonated or is some garbage ingredients just tickling my throat?" Slipknot doesn't care. They are all sweating from thrashing and wearing masks and jump suits in the hot, Southern sun. They just want to chug lemonade, I'm sure. It's not terrible lemonade. It's got the makings of something great and tastes good except for the questionable, sharp taste.

Look, Slipknot is good. Kids love them. I like them a lot. Honestly, their first LP was great, Iowa, not their best, but Volume 3 is incredible. Like them or don't like them. They are good. Just deal with it. Slipknot members zero through eight, any time you guys want to do a guest review, you know where to find us. Keep up the good work.

I would have to not be human to pass up this drink. When I was in a seafood/Vietnamese restaurant yesterday getting my bahn mi fix I saw this in a cooler and it was a no brainer. I didn't even know what type of beverage it was. All I knew is that it had a picture of an anime dude wielding a bat like a sword with a chain wallet on. It's absolutely ridiculous looking. It wasn't until I was waiting at the register that I discovered it was a sparkling green tea; an awesome can just became an awesome drink. The moment I fell in love didn't occur until I was back at my table and I took a sip to discover that it was actually a sparkling jasmine green tea. The stars aligned and new worlds were open to me. It's a drink I've never had before, had never even thought of existing before, but now that I've had it I feel stupid for not longing for it's existence.

I was told that it tastes like fancy soap smells. Not like fancy soap actually tastes, but how you imagine it would taste. I can't argue with that, but like my friend I also don't think it's a bad thing. Who among us hasn't bitten into a piece of soap hoping beyond hope that it will actually taste as good as it smells? Oh, just me? Well it's no secret that I am an idiot. If you dare to dream as I do, then this drink could be the secret to unlocking those self same dreams.

On a side note I wanted to know what Chakuka meant so I did a little internet search. The only thing I could find was that it is the name of an Austrian rapper. I hope that this drink is a result of him branding himself in other countries. That would be amazingly hysterical.

With a name like 'Royalty', I was expecting this to be a fancy ginger beer. Okay, maybe not THAT fancy since I got it for $1.30 at Spice Bazaar, but still. If ginger beer were as common as cola or root beer, I would call this a 'classic tasting ginger beer'. Mike and Jay will probably know what I mean since they are some of the few humans who have tasted around the same amount of ginger beer as I have. With that I'm saying that it has a good ginger taste, but a very minimal burn. While I prefer a good burn with ginger beer, this is still pretty tasty.

Alright, we're going out into the desert Three Amigos' style, except we want to be prepared. There will be no empty canteens and certainly none that are filled with sand. I mean the desert I speak of is actually just a local beach, but I want everything absolutely perfect for my YouTube recreation. Okay, everyone give me your canteens. My mom said I'm not allowed to come in the house wearing this “ridiculous” outfit as she put it. So I'll be filling them up with the hose. Does she not realize that this is the costume of my craft? Does she not know that I was born to reenact every movie Martin Short has ever starred in? Just wait until I'm internet famous, then she'll let me in the house to fill up my canteens! Well until then, hose water it is! Sorry they look old, they were my grandfathers from The War, I don't even know what war, so don't ask. Oh crap, I forgot I had some peach drink in here from when I went camping last summer. It doesn't smell spoiled, but that's just weird.

Ugh guys, I don't know if you want to actually use these. The combination of the hose water, the left over peach juice residue and the aloe I put on my sunburn I got from yesterday's shoot, this is a weird not-to-great drink. I guess the more you drink the better it gets, but it never really loses it's metallic hose water taste. Jimmy, that's racist saying that this taste like an Asian drink! Oh you mean it tastes exactly like an aloe drink you had on your trip to Singapore, except this doesn't have the chunks that that one had? Well I guess that's not racist, but I feel sorry that you paid for such a beverage.

Well everyone it looks like Little Neddy is not going to talk about how he filmed a movie about going to war, or mail planes. Let's move on to Innerspace. I have a cool little capsule I've been building in my shed.

Vanilla, Licorice, Cinnamon, Clove, Spice, Pep, Pizzazz...Some root beers have these ingredients in them. They excel and are the ones that we, self-proclaimed professionals, enjoy the most. Root Beer is a dime a dozen, like a cola, but an exceptional one comes few and far between. We are always on the lookout for the next great drink. Most of the time we come up short. It's not a loss because we have to weed through stuff to get to the gems and we have found some in all categories of drink.

This one will be dumped in the "the rest" bucket. It tastes like root beer and nothing else. I know, if you are drinking a root beer you want it to taste like a root beer but who is happy with a C? Yeah, I passed, what more do you want from me? It might and probably is the "diet" of this drink that makes it just an average thing. The sucralose really takes a dump on the potential of this drink, figuratively speaking. Sucralose has no digestive system and still sucks without it.

Growing up, my best friend's parents were from England, right off the boat. Liverpool, if you must know. I would spend many nights and most weekends over there whether it be playing video games, listening to music, making fake radio shows on cassette tapes, or other kid stuff.

Being British, they stereotypically love tea. They drank it all the time. They also loved 70's prog-rock, which I wish now I could tell fourteen year old me to pay attention to. They bought me loose tea, which to this day, I prefer to bagged tea, and would keep it "local" and get me Earl Gray. I went a decade without drinking it after I went to college but now we have a Keurig and it came with this tea. I like this stuff. Yes, I add a smidge of sugar to it, but it's still keeping in the British way. This tea has a pretty nice lemon taste, which I don't really remember in my old cups of tea. It's good though and I have made multiple cups of it since we got the box of it. I might be the only one.

Growing up I never talked about the queen but we talked primarily of the Queen as in Freddie Mercury. Phil Collins, Genesis, Yes, Jimi Hendrix, and the like. They listened to their music loud, too. I miss that house. Maybe I'll pay a visit next time I visit my parent's. My son loves the mom because she always gives him ice cream. How could you not?

Look. Everyone knows that one of my favorite pops is Hansen's Cherry Vanilla Cream. Hansen's owns Blue Sky. This is cherry vanilla cream and that is cherry vanilla cream. So why isn't this as good? I don't know. This is great. No doubt about it. It doesn't have as many calories, still has a great taste, and is actually pretty easy for me to find. I think that the one thing that is different is that this is less smooth, probably less cream or creme depending on where you live. French? Creme. American? Cream.

It's odd. They had it. It also seems strange that a subsidiary company would make such an iconic, specific drink as their parent, but they did. It's not far off and it's definitely not a failure, it's just not my baby.

I've had enough of the winter and I don't think it's even halfway done. We haven't even had that much snow, but the cold has kept me indoors and everything is grey and it's just killing me. What I'm going to do is get myself a white noise machine that is just the sounds of the ocean; you know waves, birds, an occasional foghorn an of course the soothing sounds of pirates. With those noises gracing my ears, I will jack up the heat in my house as high as it will go, set up some photo shoot lamps facing me, dump a few pounds of sand on my floor and sit in a lawn chair. I will then close my eyes and dream that I am sitting in the doorway of my oceanside cabana. I'm there just thinking about it. Since I'm pretending I'm in the blazing sun I should really be drinking lemonade. Since I am going to be in a mind cabana then this is the lemonade I will choose. In addition to having an appropriate name, this drink is summer in a bottle. It's made from real lemon juice and that gives it a nice homemade taste. The strawberry flavor falls under “natural flavors” on the ingredients list, but it is enough to taste like someone smashed a couple of berries into a glass of chilled lemon bliss. The real kicker in this is that Cabana uses both cane sugar and stevia, so the sugar content is less than one would expect. Somehow they worked it out so that you can't taste the stevia at all. I didn't even realize it was there until I checked to see how much sugar was in here and I got a pleasant surprise.

This experiment will also hopefully lead to a pleasant surprise, when my cats hopefully don't decided that the living room is now one big litter box. I need the sun and warmth in my life, not a house full of cat turds.

I'm going to start a petition to switch the places of black and mate teas. Black tea is everywhere and let's face it, while it is delectable it is also pretty boring, and far too easy to over sweeten. Mate is a rarity. It's exotic and you can't over sweeten it without it losing its special pizzazz. I know that if they were switched for long enough mate would begin to seem commonplace and lose it's exoticness. I just want this to be for a limited time. I want to go out to eat with my family to some garbage chain restaurant and be able to order a tea and have it be special. In shirt I'm bored with everyday teas.

Kiju is a nice answer to my problem. They make a nice, lightly sweetened mate iced tea. The fruit juice carries most of the flavor, but it has the very specific mate aftertaste. It has a very strong passionfruit taste with some mango around the edges. Did I mention that they use real fruit juices in this? Maybe that is why I like mate so much. If a company cares enough to use it, then they also care enough to use primo ingredients. I've never seen a mate sweetened with HFCS. That just doesn't fly in this world. It's the world I want to be in, well at least for the time being.

My mom always jokes around. I clearly get my sense of humor from her and my money management skills from my (Jewish) dad. I'm fine with that. I like it that way. If you asked my mom how she likes her coffee, she would say, "Black. Like I like my men." which is funny because it's funny but also funny because the man she married is so white…€¦ so white. My dad. My dad is so white, and Jewish. My white, Jewish dad is very white.

This coffee, like my mom's faux preference in men, is "extra bold" which is just black. "Black like the night" as my (Jewish) grandma would say about her hair, which was more brown than black but her eyes were bad. Lay off. You know how Jewish women love that black bob haircut. My grandma would always ask for it but somehow left the salon with a mouth full of gossip and brown hair. I do not remember her choice in coffee but her husband, like my mom's husband, my daddy, was a pasty white, Jewish dude.

Back to the coffee. It's dark and less sweet than you would expect. These Nescafe drinks are nice because it's right at the limit where I can take coffee before it gets too much. I strongly dislike actual coffee but these drinks are great. It's darker and less sweet than the regular one that I drank.

Grandma, if you're reading this from beyond the grave, know that I am inside wearing a jacket. Mom, if you are reading this in between handing out milk and opening brat kid's Capri Suns, I'm talking about you behind your back. Deal with it.

When people make a blanket statement and call all soda "sugar water", I immediately want to cry out and tell them about all the amazing sodas I have had that are far from sugar water.

Then I had this soda, and understood what they meant. There is barely any raspberry flavor in this Windex looking soda. Liquid Jolly Ranchers at it's worst. I thought this was going to be a sweet treat for myself, but I was sadly disappointed.

This is one of those beverages that walks the line between a soda pop and sparkling juice. I really don't even know how I make the differentiation any more. I guess if there is no sweeteners added it is just sparkling juice by default. It could also be said that if it is sweetened with HFCS, or has an overabundance of sugar in it, it is classified as a soda. This has sugar added to it, but it's evaporated cane juice, and it falls under juice on the ingredients list. I'm just going to proclaim that it is both, as in the larger scheme of life it does not matter at all. What does matter is that it is delicious. Just this morning my girlfriend pulled out a container of blackberries that she had been hiding from me in the fridge. I can't blame her, when they are put in front of me I can't stop myself and I just keep eating them until they are gone. Case in point I think she ate 2 or 3 today and I ate the rest of them. I would say I was a glutton, but it's fruit, so does that even count as gluttonous? The important thing is I have the memory of the actual fruit fresh in my mind, and this drink is not far from it. The berries they used taste like they weren't completely ripe, but I know that is actually how a lot of people prefer their blackberries. It's just a little more tart than one would expect from a berry soda. That is helped by the low amount of sugar that is added to it. There are only 13g of sugar in this bottle and in the world of non-diet sodas that is like nothing. This is a beverage that tastes great that you don't have to feel guilty about drinking.

First impression: this can looks like a "fancy" designer t-shirt you would find at a flea market for $9.99. Also, (much like the Monster Cuba-Lima) this can is textured, adding to the weird image I have of a 11 year old wannabe gangsta from the suburbs exclaiming "Whoa, that can matches my shirt!" which his mom bought him in the boys section of JC Penny. The name of this drink also seems like something said kid (let's call him Chad) would have made up 2 years prior as he was watching Power Rangers Ninja Storm.

Of course Chad will deny he made up his own Power Ranger named Zero Ultra when he's drinking this, even if he secretly still has the cover he drew of Zero Ultra Comics #1 in his closet. Six months from now he will also stop wearing this weird patterned shirt that matches this because his "cooler" friend will say it isn't cool anymore. But at least Chad had a moment where he was a trendsetter and Monster was behind on the times for once.

It's a shame the can and name of this drink are so bad because the drink is actually really good. It tastes like a Squirt snow cone. It's smooth and refreshing, and isn't as sweet as most energy drinks. My advice to Monster: keep making the textured cans, but design the cans better.

Cathy, sometimes the things you do at dinner really upset me. No, I am being serious. You really embarrassed me in front of our friends. I don't know why you feel like you can just say those things in front of them. Do you feel like you are protected and that I'm not going to say anything? If you have something to say, just say it. I would much rather hear it from you in the privacy of our own home than have you express your issues in front of people.

Look, I don't know why I'm being so hard on you. It's almost February and I haven't seen the sun in months. It really sucks, Cathy. It's not your fault. What's that? You bought me something at the market before we went to dinner? That's sweet of you. What is it? Oh, lemonade. That's awesome, Cath. Thank you so much. I'm going to dive into this right now.

Oh, Cathy. My dear sweet Cathy. You are an absolute angel. This is perfect right now. Lemonade is a summertime drink and I now have a glimmer of hope of making it through another winter. It's tart and sweet but not too much of either. It doesn't have any aftertaste of anything and has all natural ingredients, too. You really thought this through. Good pick, Cathy. I'm sorry about what I said earlier. You know how this weather gets to me. Come over here and let me give you a big smooch. Here, let me whisper something in your ear. Come here......I know you've been cheating on me.

Look at Rubicon stepping up their line and their image. They have given the contents of their juice boxes with some carbonation and packaged them in these fancy little cans. Seriously it's the same juice, just carbonated and it's glorious. For those of us with dreams of passionfruit, mango and guava sodas that actually taste like juice and not some weird bastardization of it, the dream has become a reality. Sure this is pretty sweet, but so is the actual fruit, and it's pop now, so it's supposed to be sweet. Don't complain, just be grateful that they actually did things right and it tastes like you're eating fruit, and not like fake flavoring or seltzer.