This week Mike turns thirty. His ladyfriend decided to throw him a surprise party, so it was Editor Dan and my job to get him out of the house and to the party at the appropriate time. People were concerned that there would be problems with this, but Dan and I know the way to Mike's heart and it's with the promise of breakfast at the flea market. Even before the party we had a great day of wonderfully gross food, old Buffalo and Ghostbusters metal pins and I got the high score in Galaga. The times were great. Dan and I believe we even wandered into another dimension as we found ourselves in a part of the dirt mall that we had never been to. Finally it was time for the party and we took Mike to the park where everyone else awaited our arrival. I have no idea how he didn't know about it, but the secret held strong. In true Mike fashion he showed no emotion over any of it. That's why we love him.

The party was fun, even though it was about a billion degrees and I got a ridiculous sunburn. We chased a turkey, ate a lot of food and of course drank some drinks. I had a Slurpee earlier on, but when the effects started fading, I decided to go with this strawberry lemonade. We've gotten a handful of comments from people saying that they think the Huberts company is garbage, but we could not disagree more. It tastes like they made lemonade from lemon juice concentrate; you know the stuff that comes in the little plastic lemons. It's nice and sour and tastes like real lemons. I don't know if as a whole it's not sweet enough for those who complained, or maybe it's the extremely faint stevia taste that hides in there. All I can say is those people are wrong and this is great lemonade. The base is great and the extract of strawberry they use makes it taste like someone just mashed the hell out of some berries and put it in their lemonade. I love it. You should love it. You should join us on Tuesday when we ride bikes to a strip club for Mike's birthday to get hot dogs. It's a tradition that we don't go in, just acquire hot dogs from the cart outside. Does anything else scream, “Welcome to your Thirties!” more?

With the exception of Bright Citrus, us folks here at Thirsty Dudes have not been huge fans of Cascal sodas. I think we would have loved most of the flavors, if the whole point of the company weren't that they make fermented sodas. Take away the fermentation and slight alcohol taste that it causes and these would be severely interesting sodas. With flavors like apple and anise things are bound to get wacky. Unfortunately that flavor that is gross to those of us who don't drink gets in the way and ruins everything. I have to admit that my friends who do partake in alcohol like these a lot more than those of us who do not. I believe they are accustomed to that flavor.

While this flavor does tastes a bit hoppy, it didn't bother me as much as it has with the other flavors. Perhaps I myself am becoming more accustomed to the flavor, but it wasn't bad. It tastes like a citrus and berry soda, two flavors that normally don't commingle. Why is that? There is berry based fruit punch and tropical citrus bases, but it's not often that they overlap. That needs to change because if this drink is any indication they pair nicely. It's a good tasting sparkling juice and as I said if you don't mind the fermentation flavor grab yourself a can.

To whom it may concern,
I don't know if you have thought ahead for things like birthdays, Christmas, Easter, or Sweetest Day, but you needn't look any more. I, Nature, have created the greatest gift for everyone. I mean everyone. I don't and never have discriminated. Everyone is equal and this drink I have created with my bare hands is for you.

Allow me to describe this gift that I have so generously and nonchalantly given to the people of the world. It is an aloe drink. Simple as that: original aloe flavor. No funny fruit business. I stick to the classics myself. Vinyl? I love it. Laserdisc? Nope. VHS, son! I only listen to debut records from bands and will not buy anything after that regardless of how much better it is. Yeah, I know the production quality is usually better on subsequent albums, but I stick to my guns. No, I'm joking. Nature doesn't use guns but I do rain on tons of parades if you know what I mean.

I just thought that I would remind you that this gem of a drink existed because I noticed in the last quarter sales were down a little bit. Remember, this is a gift so drink it with glee and have a wonderful day.

Sincerely,
Nature Steinberg

One thing I would like to do before I die is chop a pineapple down from a tree and eat it. I guess I could have someone more skilled get it down for me but I want it inside of me no more than two minutes after it came down from the tree. That's a fresh pineapple. I want it. I don't think that's a dramatic request. I can catch it, even though I am aware it might hurt me. It's like a slightly spikey, oddly shaped football. I love pineapple, though and want a fresh one. No more of this out of season garbage. Fresh, son.

This pop, although probably distant from a fresh pineapple, tastes a lot like pineapple. Not quite carbonated pineapple juice, but close. It's very sweet. You should not drink this alone. It's not destructive in its calories content at a pretty standard 120, but it is sweet, man.

Who knows, a fresh pineapple might not be that far away. I don't have any plans to travel to an exotic paradise any time soon but in the scheme of things, even five years isn't that long to have to wait for hopefully the best pineapple I will ever have in my life.

Paldo seems like it should be a dog's name. I kind of want to name a dog Paldo now. I also want to teach him to go fetch me drinks. Does that fall under the adorable category or the one labeled “get it yourself you lazy slob?” I'm going to go with adorable. I would imagine glass bottles would be hard on the little guy's teeth. They also might be too smooth for him to be able to get a proper grasp on to carry. Cans would also be a problem because one little tooth pressed just a little too hard and the contents are going to spray everywhere. It looks like I'll have to train my little bubby Paldo to retrieve me plastic bottles. Hopefully he will be prone to choosing his namesake because they make some great tasting aloe drinks. Sure the chunks in it are a little too tiny for my liking (they resemble pulp more than chunks), but the flavor is always great. This bottle is a great example. Pomegranate is a delicious fruit but a little too much for a lot of people. Paldo (the company not the imaginary dog) added enough sweetener to take away most of the bitterness yet leave the essence of the fruit in tact. It's a perfect gateway drink to get people into both pomegranate and aloe drinks. If you're skeptical of either, give this a try. I'll be out looking for a beagle puppy who is susceptible to drink training.

Our friend Eric from GourmetRootBeer.com took a trip to Portugal recently and brought us back this bottle of Sumol. There was also a can of the pineapple version that was lost to airport security. Damn the man! While I do love pineapple drinks, the one that made it back with him is nothing to scoff at. Eric described it as being similar to Orangina. I can see where he's coming from, but it is a bit different. When each of us took a sip we all thought it initially tasted like grapefruit Squirt. The more we drank the more the orange flavor set in. I'm still uncertain as to exactly what it tastes like, but I'm 95% certain that I think it's a lemon lime soda that has orange switched out for the lime. You can taste that actual orange juice is involved in the creation of this soda. That on it's own makes this better than the majority of other orange sodas out there. Now that we've finished the bottle I want to pull some sort of elaborate prank on the members of airport security that confiscated the can of the pineapple Sumol. I'm thinking something involving marbles, caterpillars and a whole lot of honey.

I've had Day's stuff before. It's good. It's basic, but it's good. I wanted a root beer so I went through my stash, picked one out, went to put it in the fridge, and noticed that this was queued up all ready to go. Awesome.

Now I will admit that I've become a bit of a drink snob since I've been doing the website. It happens since I drink so much. I have to pick favorites and you really get to hone down what you really want in a specific drink. Teas I like a little bitey. Root beer I like dark with a lot of licorice. Sweet tea I like with real sugar and as little ingredients as I can get. When I come across a can of root beer with high fructose corn syrup, I almost instantly don't care. I will still drink it with an open mind, but my brain tells me that I already know what it's going to taste like. This was different.

There is a little bite to this and the ingredients don't really do the drink itself justice, I feel. This is a medium to dark root beer with a strong root beer taste. It tastes less sweet than a standard root beer would taste. The fact that I'm still explaining how this tastes is extra credit to them. What's great is this is good enough to get again and I don't think it's hard to find.

Day's; I'm sorry for not having faith in you. You have most certainly earned it.

Terry worked as a heating and cooling repairman for 13 years of his life. He drove his van around Western New York fixing people's stoves, fridges and air conditioners. Most days he didn't hate his job, but there wasn't much room for advancement. He did love driving around a lot though. Then one day he was fixing a guy's air conditioner and he got to talking to him. You see Terry loved fixing things, and he liked to explain it as well. The man was so impressed with his passion that he offered him a job at his company. He would make more money and promotions were a possibility. Terry knew he would miss his driving around and didn't like the idea of being stuck in one play all day, but the money was nice and he needed a change. He took to the job like a fish to water. He took a couple of trips to other states to fix some industrial units, and getting away was nice. Then one day he got asked if he would be willing to go to Australia for a week for the job. Not being a dummy he jumped at the chance. So within six months this fine man went from working a quasi dead end job to working for a growing company and being sent around the world doing work that he found interesting. It's times like these that I am incredibly proud of my friends. It's also times like these when I am thankful that I have friends who travel around the globe and bring me back gifts of drinks.

This is a bottle of Australian sarsaparilla that was purchased at a roadside fruit stand in said country. (As a side note, if you don't take advantage of roadside fruit stands when you are traveling then you are a fool.) I expected this to be a very strong sarsaparilla for some reason, but it's not and I'm okay with that. It has a very classic soda flavor to it. I could see this being served in a 50's soda shop with a couple sharing a bottle with two straws. It starts off as just a generic old time soda flavor but when you swallow it has a strong sarsaparilla aftertaste. It's not what I was looking for but it's a soda that has its place and I can respect and enjoy that. I do with the licorice flavor was a bit stronger in this. Then it would be superb.

Oddly enough this is made by the Fosters Beer company. I don't know why I find that weird, but I definitely do. Also the tagline on the bottle is “Refreshingly Tasmanian.” Now that I find charming.

Johnny was a small-town boy. He grew up in a town with one stoplight, one gas station, one barber, and a local grocery store. He was listening to the radio and heard a sweepstakes where he could win a trip to "the big city." He was the tenth caller, won the prize, and before you knew it, he was on his way. He had been on a train before, but only a few towns over, never this far. It was a two-day trek and Johnny was more than prepared. When he arrived at the hotel in the city, he brought his one bag up and headed back down to enjoy the city itself.

He was a bit thirsty and went next door to a small store to get a drink. There was an endcap, which advertised a low calories, iced tea mix that you could mix with a bottle of water. He remembered that the hotel had a six-pack of water ready for him so he bypassed some of the stranger drinks.

Johnny went upstairs to make some tea and ran into a couple cute girls who he invited them up to his room. He told the girls to relax while he went into the bathroom to mix up a bottle of tea so that in the case that it made a mess, it wouldn't be too bad to clean up. He heard the girls talking and didn't think anything of it. He sat down on the bath to drink a little of the tea and initially it was a bit strong. He could have mixed it into a larger bottle of water, but all he had was a smaller bottle. It was a little bitter and did have some acai flavor. Acai was not a flavor he was familiar with but he thought it was bitter on bitter but mixed with a lot of sweet kind of evened things out. He drank about half of the bottle before he got up to see what the girls were up to. He went to leave the bathroom but the door was stuck. There was a phone in the bathroom, which he used to call the front desk to tell them that he was trapped in the bathroom. They came up and let him out and asked him what he was doing. He told them that he let some nice girls come in the room while he made some tea and then the door wouldn't open. The man asked him what happened to the television and Johnny didn't know what he was talking about. When he walked out of the bathroom, he noticed that the television, radio, coffee maker, and desk lamp was missing. The girls had robbed him. The maintenance man said that there is a security camera that was in front of the elevators and they won't be able to make it out of the hotel without being caught.

Johnny had been in the city for less than an hour and had already gotten robbed. He will never wonder again why his parents and grandparents never went to the city. City girls were trouble and he spent the rest of his trip not talking to anyone.

That sun man. What a jerk. Beaming down on you all of the day. You've got to put on thick layers of creams and salves just to go outside. Das Racist knows what I'm talking about. White man can't even go outside without getting a disease. I feel it. I spent my youth inside playing Ultima on the computer with my friends because I didn't want to squint anymore and it was too hot and his house was air-conditioned. My mom would call down and have my friend's parents kick us outside. My friends hated me because of it.

Max, my little dude, needed a pair of sunglasses. I feel so bad for him in the backseat because apparently they have outlawed tinted static clings. I can't find them anywhere and because of that I had to get him some glasses. I bought some for him, he liked them, liked to wear them for three seconds, take them off, eat them, and throw them on the ground. When I found those glasses, I also found this drink.

I like melon. Love it, really. Pear? We all know where I stand on pears. Whocaresville. I don't hate the taste of pears, though. This was good. I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't terribly sweet and actually had a pretty strong melon flavor. Pear is there, but not as much as melon and for that, I thank you, Gatorade. I would buy this again and the whole bottle is only 20 calories.

Next time you go to the store to buy sunglasses, sunscreen, suntan lotion, or a giant sun hat, pick this up, too and you'll be sure to survive one more day out in the sun.

Robert Van Winkle felt like a failure, and a disappointment to his family. When your great-great-grandfather is Rip Van Winkle you are expected to be able to sleep through anything. Unfortunately that was not true for Robert. Ever since he was a baby he was a bit on an insomniac. He would get in fights with his parents and they would tell him he was an embarrassment and they often accused him of abusing energy drinks. The truth is that he had never so much as tasted a drop of an energy drink. His lack of sleep was a natural thing. His theory was that his ancestors used up all of the sleep allocated to his bloodline, thus cursing him with constant wakefulness. The upside of this was that Robert became a genius. Since he rarely slept, he used all of his waking hours on his studies and quickly had several doctorates and became a scientist. He dreamed of someday creating a potion that would give him the relief of sleep that his family clung to so much.

This bottle that I hold in my hand is the result of years of endless research and trials. Robert Van Winkle finally overcame his demons and I'm happy to say that with the first shot that he drank he quickly fell into a long relaxed slumber. His success mixture tasted like gummy orange slices that had been liquefied. He was shocked at how his final version actually did not taste very intense. It didn't taste like chemicals like so many of his past attempts. He beat science and a family curse. Robert Van Winkle is a true American hero.

I've been looking for a nice, high quality cola for a while now. Jay was turned on to my search, too so now we're both on a little bit of a liquid quest. I went to get lunch and run errands with one of my bosses today and we stopped at a little sandwich place that usually has pretty good drinks. This, which is new, was there and I had to get it. I might not stop until I find a cola that I absolutely love. Five bottles and I'll stop and move on to something else. I was very anxious to get my hands on this. So much in fact that when I used the old "take the cap off the bottle by hitting it against a concrete curb" trick, this happened:



I have never done this before. If I ever break something, it's usually a small crack or a piece but this was the entire lip. It was downright hard to drink and quite dangerous. I may have shards of glass inside of me because if you think that not having a crucial part to a bottle will stop me from drinking you're crazy. I did what I set out to do which was drinking this cola and it was good. Cola, being inherently dark, didn't have a lot of the complexity that Maine Root stuff often has. Sure, "spices" was one of the ingredients, but it didn't really get to me. It was a good cola, though and if I had to compare it to something, it would be the Mexican Coke. I personally haven't had the Mexican Pepsi so I can't compare it to that.

I risk my lips and bowels for this website and for what? A great cola? You bet'cha!

What's this? It's a plum covered in sugar? Are you telling me that this is a sugarplum? Part of me doesn't know what an actual sugarplum is, but the other part of me thinks that you are trying to pull a fast one on me. I'm drinking this Jones Sugar Plum pop and it's really sweet but doesn't have any taste that I can compare it to. Stop shoving that plum in my face. You're getting sugar everywhere. Eww, really dude? You licked it and then stuck it in sugar? That's gross and I'm that much happier that I didn't touch it. What does this taste like? It's hard to say: Fruity and sugary and carbonated. Does anyone actually know what a sugarplum tastes like? Do people still eat them? I thought it was only in that Christmas song. This is good but I bet your spitty, sugar covered plum is disgusting. It might not be for you since it's your spit but for others, you might want to do what we used to do with pretzels to get salt to stick with it and just spray it with a spray bottle of water. Stop spitting on fruit!

Earlier today Mike said that he could really go for a nice cola, and he noted that we don't really find too many “non-mainstream” colas. That got me thinking about cola all day, and I didn't think that I had any at home. When I got home later I perused my beverage shelf and discovered that I did have this can hiding in the back. Everything was coming up Milhouse.

Now I don't know what the difference is between this and their Natural Soda Cola. The ingredient lists look the same except this can says “organic cane juice” and the other says “ real sugar.” The order of the ingredients is different as well. This has natural cola nut flavor higher up on the list. I'm assuming they are pretty much the same drink though, except all of the ingredients in this can are organic. Regardless of the difference, the two things that really stand out about this cola over its everyday competitors is the fact that they do use cola nut and also it is caffeine free due to the company using natural ingredients. Neither Coke nor Pepsi use cola nut in their recipes. Instead they use some artificial concoction that they came up with to create a similar flavor. I must say that you can taste the difference, and this certainly tastes more natural and it's not harsh like the previously mentioned brands.

It may not be the best cola I have ever had, and it didn't quite live up to my expectations, but I certainly enjoyed it. If all of the colas in the world were organic this would probably fall somewhere in the middle of the road, but I prefer it over your common gas station alternatives.

I think it's safe to say that 95% of the people in America wished they were in better shape. From the slob couch potatoes whose idea of exercise is reaching for the remote to folks who spend a good deal of their time at the gym, everyone would like to improve themselves. It's natural. People are supposed to be active. Companies know this is how people feel and they play to it. Why do you think there are so many “diet' drinks out on the market? So L'eau took it a step further. They didn't settle for a drink that had less calories and fake sugar. They went out and created a natural body supplement (I have no idea what it is) that actually aids in weight loss. The bottle says they ran studies with this supplement and the woman who took it lost significantly more weight than those who did not. After that success they produced their supplement in drink form. It basically tastes like Vitamin Water Zero, as both are flavored waters that use Erythritol as a sweetener. This bottle is supposed to be mixed berry, and it has a subtle berry flavor to it, but unfortunately the main flavor is the zero calorie sweetener, and it just gets stronger with each sip. You might think, “Well that's not that bad, I'll deal with the flavor if it will help me lose weight.” The rub is that in their study the woman who used the supplement had enough to equal three bottles of this daily for 8-weeks and still did a bunch of exercise. It's not a magical cure all, but it apparently does help a little. You just have to drink a buttload of it.

All morning for no reason in particular we were talking about The Chapelle Show and how great it was. It seriously came out of nowhere and we talked about it for an hour. It was a wonderful three seasons that ended too soon.

I knew I had some "purple drink" down in my pile so I picked it out, refrigerated it, and here we are. I know the "purple drink" he's referring to and that is not great. It's like that age-old discussion that you have with friends about if Skittles taste different because it's like 49% water, 50% sugar, and 1% flavoring. I never, not even as a kid, like "_________ Flavored Drink" because it's a bad imitation of an imitation. This drink is only one tier deep so it's closer to what an actual grape tastes like but still, not what grapes taste like. It sweet, it's juice, it's purple. That seems to be all it takes to pass the grape exam. This isn't terrible, though. It's absolutely drinkable and after a nice long lunch walk with "work dudes," it's just what I needed.

I do believe that mixing ingredients this way in the olden days would get a person branded a witch. In fact I'm not positive that the folks back at Sun-Rype haven't been dabbling with the black arts. All three ingredients (apple juice, green tea and chai) are all fairly normal on their own. A combination of green tea and chai is a little unorthodox, but it's nothing that someone would really think twice about. Apple and green tea is definitely on the stranger side of things. I don't believe I have ever had an apple flavored green tea. If I did I'm sure the company got it all wrong and instead of using normal apple juice they probably used green apple flavoring, which is the devil in it's own right. All of the above mixtures are acceptable, and I don't think I would think much of them if I saw them, but when you throw all three ingredients into one drink you're going to get my attention (and presumably the attention of some dark beings).

Things have changed as time has gone on. While this mixture probably would have gotten a person drowned or burned at the stake a couple hundred years ago, nowadays it's gets me to yell, “Holy Crap!” and makes me giddy. I am a staunch supporter of all of these beverages and together they do not disappoint. The apple juice and green tea blend together fairly seamlessly. It's a wonder that more companies don't use this combination. The chai is the game changer though. It makes this drink taste like nothing I have ever had before. It adds a slight vanilla spice flavor of the likes that juice has never seen before. It forms a new hybrid creature that would be unstoppable if only the dark lord would make it a sentient being. Luckily for the world it remains just a delicious juice-tea combo that will knock your socks off.

I don't know if you've noticed but the weather has been getting increasingly better out there. By "out there" I mean outside not "out there in whatever location Call Of Duty" is in. I was like you, indoor kids. I loved playing video games and I still do. If I could do whatever I wanted, I might take a week off of work, pay for all my friends to take a week off of work, and just play video games for a week straight. Inside. No sun. Since this is the real world and I'm not what you consider "privileged," I do not have that luxury so I have things like "work" and "a kid" and "previous obligations" that I need to take care of. Here's what I'm getting at. When the weather gets nice, lemonade tastes better. Sure, you can drink it year 'round but in the summer lemonade is a thing that is earned.

This lemonade, fresh and new to shelves (almost) everywhere, isn't bad. Oh you see that there is honey and ginseng on the can, the two ingredients that made Arizona what it is today if you ask me, but you wouldn't know it by drinking this. It just tastes like lemonade. If I had an Arizona lemonade, a product that does not exist, and this lemonade with it's additional ingredients, I might say that this has less of an edge. That might be where the honey comes in but you can't taste it as a flavor, only as an effect. Ginseng, well let's face it. You didn't taste it in the green tea, either. It's great that it's there. Probably not noticeable that it's not there.

I'm happy that this exists because it's a nice change and a better product than the Arnold Palmer. Yeah, I said it. That in itself should be worth a thousand words.

I can only imagine how sticky the bed of that truck has to be. Driving bottles of iced tea and lemonade all over every day, every week, every month of the year bottles have to break. You also can tell that they do most of their driving on old dirt roads with dust blowing up everywhere. I bet the bed of that there truck is a dirty sticky mess. You know who is winning out with this ice tea leakage? The ants and bees, that's who. The ants are crawling their way up the tires, while the bees just buzz over to feed on the sweetness that is left behind once the glass is cleared away. Those lucky bugs are filling up their stomachs with some of the tastiest summer beverages available in the northeast. When one of these bottles of raspberry tea lemonade busts open it must be like a holiday to them. To start off the raspberry tea is great. Each swig tastes like you sitting on the back of that truck downing a bushel of ripe raspberries while gulping down a big jug of sweetened iced tea to fight the heat. If that tea wasn't enough for you, you are in luck because they cut it right in half with some quality lemonade. It was one a bit on the bitter side, but the sweetness of the tea took care of that and the two flavors now live in perfect harmony, well that is until the ants and bees come along and eat/drink it all up.

For centuries pre-teens all over the world have been posing as scientists trying to perfect the perfect lemonade to sell at the roadside. To be honest most of them just half ass it and use a mix, or have their parents make it for them. If it's the latter you should probably consider yourself lucky. Those kids make terrible scientists. Their lemonade is either too watered down, way overly sweetened or is so sour that it makes it hard to drink. Still society dictates that you must pay the child with a smile and drink the entire cup. If you think for a second of not doing that, just remember what happened to Larry David. Not a pretty...pretty…€¦pre-tty sight.

I'd like to think that four generations ago a member of the Roe family (they make this product) was just another one of those kids trying to make some scratch for a Coke and some comics. That child's lemonade started off terrible, but unlike most they stuck with it and kept improving on it. Now that decades have passed I sit here with their current version and I say to them “stop, you have struck gold.” This is one of the best lemonades I have ever tasted. Most importantly it is made with organic lemon juice and not a powder. Second most important is that they chose to sweeten it with both cane juice and agave nectar. It's a match made in heaven. The sweeteners leave the drink sour, but not so much that it would upset our stomach and make you want to put down your glass. In fact, it's so perfect that you don't want to put down your “glass” at all. Before I knew it my entire bottle was gone and I was left for want of more. It's perfect. Now if only the kids in my neighborhood could make this caliber of lemonade.