If it was Sobe's mission to take two of the most potent fruit juices this word has ever seen and use them to flavor water in a way that makes them not potent at all, well job well done. I actually don't get much pomegranate out of this. It's mostly just cherry and I'm okay with that. To be frank I'm getting pretty sick of our friend the pomegranate. He's infiltrated far too much of the beverage world, and I could use a break from him. To get back on track, this like every Lifewater is just Sobe's version of Vitamin Water and it's completely apparent in the taste. Sure Sobe has been around longer, but their drinks didn't use to be so “water based.” The only thing different between this and Vitamin Water is that this has taurine in it. I'm pretty sure no Vitamin Waters do. If I did a blind taste test I would guess this was a new flavor of Vitamin Water, which I suppose isn't a bad thing. Billions of people, including myself, love their products and drink them all the time. Here's to competition.

For those of you who are wondering like I was Wishniak is Polish for cherry. Some soda companies from around the Philadelphia area started using it to describe their black cheery soda after the creator of Franks soda started using it. See the internet is a useful tool to find interesting information.

As far as black cherry sodas go this is better than most. It's not as dark tasting as your everyday store brand. It's still very distinctly different from plain cherry soda, but it falls somewhere between the two. As someone who is not a huge fan of black cherry, I was pumped when my ladyfriend bought this so I could try it. If black cherry always tasted like this I would choose it out of the herd more often.

Summer time is getting closer and closer and to the South, that means one thing...I think. That thing is peaches. The South loves peaches. They put them in everything: salad, soup, drinks, desserts, and everything in-between. I think only snacks are in-between but you get it. Everything. They eat them every which way, too. Deep fried, au naturale, salted, sugared, grilled, sautèed, and pureed. They also juice them.

I feel like this drink is the closest I will get to a sweetened Peach tea, authentic sweet tea with authentic peaches. That's a nice change to the already perfect sweet tea. Even though this tea is made in New Jersey, I feel that some of the upper management, you know, the guys with the hats and giant cigars, were from the South. Imported to NJ from their homeland with the promise of jobs, money, home, chances, opportunity, etcetera. They certainly did find it, though. They found a company that tastes wonderful and also tastes like home. They found two simultaneously great things at the same time. Both Southerners and Northerners have to agree that is a wonderful thing. Bipartisan support!

Milk disgusts me to no end. The stuff that makes up milk is vom inducing. While I'll eat it if it's used to make some food, just drinking it is a big no-no. When I was younger I would put it in my cereal, but dump it out of each spoonful. It was such a waste, but I couldn't bring myself to drink it. Eventually I moved on to soymilk, but drinking that in large quantities isn't that great for you either, so a few years ago I happily landed on almond milk.

Almond milk is something I can completely get behind, as long as you go for the unsweetened variety. I go through about a gallon of the unsweetened Silk brand a week. This week when I went to the store they were out of it, and all that was left was this new carton of So Delicious Almond Plus. As I said I usually stay away from the ones with added sugar, because I eat the cereal of a child and it has more sugar than I should probably eat all day. The look of this carton was intriguing to me, and I liked the idea of added protein, so instead of stopping at another store I decided to give this a try. It was a mistake. My normal almond milk doesn't have too much of a presence. It's just has a dull almond taste that is generally overpowered by my cereal (fake Cinnamon Toast Crunch for those of you playing at home). If I were to drink it by itself it's pleasant enough. This on the other hand is far too sweet. Well it's not insanely sweet like a soda, but the sugar distracts from the taste of the almonds, and it just tastes like sweetness with a harsh, almost burnt, almond aftertaste. It makes my cereal taste completely different. Needless to say I am not a fan, and I would trek to a different store the next time Wegmans is out of my Silk.

Hey moneybags! Yeah you. I see you there with your off-red J. Crew shorts with alligators on them, dock shoes nowhere near a body of water, Wayfarer sunglasses, and polo shirt. Come on, you're a dead giveaway looking like this. You are your own personal Harajuku you doofus. Come here, I've got something for you. Look, you've got the cash. I know you do. Oh, you don't? Nice Rolex Submariner. I'm sorry, were you saying something? I didn't think so. As I said, I've got something for you. You look like you're in decent shape and judging by your attire, and yes, I am judging a book by its cover, you row crew. That's cool. You've got deceivingly calloused hands even though you've probably never worked a day in your life. What are you even studying here at this college? Oh, general studies? Awesome. Enjoy your inherited millions. I'm sorry. I've got a 400 level economics test at three that I'm a bit stressed about.

What was I talking about? Oh, right, your money. I've got this for you. It's quite expensive but the likes of regular people like me can't afford it and I could use a little bit of cash, so if you could buy it from me...what is it? It's an antioxidant booster that you put in your water. One dropper for every cup of water but I've put it in tea, too. It's pomegranate flavored, unsweetened, and pretty great. It's got that really bitter pomegranate flavor mixed with the contrasting sweetness everyone loves about pomegranates. Ying and yang, that fruit. You drop it the water, stir it up, and drink it up. I like it but could use some cash for food and stupidly bought two of these and saw you sticking out like a sore thumb and thought that you might enjoy clean skin and lustrous hair. You do? Of course you do. I'll sell it to you for $30, which is like $10 less than I paid for it but I could easily get a Crave Case and feed my three roommates and myself for a couple days. You don't know what a Crave Case is? Man, what's it like to have all that money?

It's well known that in the 40's the Manhattan Project was underway to produce the first atomic bomb. The US, UK and Canada all worked together, spending an obscene amount of money to basically devise a weapon that will someday cause the end of the world. Scientists worked long and hard to achieve their goal, even coming up with some cool fission guns using uranium. Nuclear weapons in gun form sound terrifying, yet strangely alluring (note to self: you may indeed grow up to be a super villain).

The men who worked on this project knew that they would get nowhere if they worked constantly. No one ever got anywhere with out a little playtime mixed in. Since they were scientists their playtime of course involved mixing ingredients to create something new. Back in '43 they had a little challenge going on the various project locations to see which team could create the best tasting soda. The team based in Brooklyn, NY ended up winning the competition. Led by Dr. Jonathan Osterman the team had a brief brainstorming session while separating uranium-235, and decided that the only way they could win this little game was to brew their own version of the greatest soda on the planet: sarsaparilla. To say they succeeded is a bit of an understatement. If there were any justice in this world these men would be more famous for their soda than their weapons of mass destruction. What they created is a dark sarsaparilla with a heavy licorice and wintergreen levels in it. Every aspect of it is strong, and I will forgive those men for the future destruction of everything I know. The 10oz bottles that it comes in simply aren't enough. I could drink this all the livelong day and not have had enough. Perhaps the team cheated and used a little bit of that uranium in their recipe. I would risk radiation for this, would you?

Fact: This is the slowest glass of chocolate milk you will ever drink. The slowest. When you drink this chocolate milk, you drink it much like a fine wine. You swirl it, aerate it, sniff it, and compare it to things like wood and old books. Now you can drink it in stealth. You can go to a big meeting with regular, white milk, and smuggle in these straws and be a kid disguised as an adult man who makes six figures. Here's the thing, though, back to what I said about this being slow. The chocolate comes in these little, compressed chocolate flavor balls stuffed from tip to tail in this straw. You pour a glass of milk, you put in your straw, and it melds together, forming one from two. It's almost romantic from a cannibalistic type of way. I mean, you're drinking the beautiful thing these two made together and we're all complaining about how slow we were doing it. Savages. Anyhow, you take a nice sip and you've got a nice, sweet chocolate milk. You take another sip and you've got white milk. Wait...what a second. You were drinking chocolate milk a second ago and now, all of a sudden, you're drinking regular milk. What...did someone pull the old switcheroo on you or something? No. It happens. Here comes science.

The milk dissolved the chocolate balls at a certain rate. You drinking sucks up all that dissolved chocolate along with the milk creating chocolate milk on the go. This erosion of chocolate only happens so fast so you have to take a sip and then wait. Take a sip and then wait. Yes, if you wait this is good chocolate milk but to milk, no pun intended, an eight-ounce glass of chocolate milk is hard work. Patience is a virtue or a great glass of chocolate milk. In these fast times, there isn't a lot of time to take an evening to drink a glass of chocolate milk.

I think it's fair to say that the two hottest drink styles out there currently (besides the classic sodas) are energy drinks and coconut water. It seems like every time I go out drink shopping there is a new version of one of them just waiting to be ingested and half assed reviewed. To save me some time Rockstar decided to combine the two. Yes, that is the only reason they put this into production. Rockstar cares about me as an individual. I get cards from them on the holidays, gifts on my birthday and monthly calls just to see how I'm doing. To tell you the truth it's a bit creepy. I mean how did they know that I wanted a combination coconut water/energy drink? The only time I mentioned it was when my ladyfriend and I were in bed, about to drift off to sleep. The last card I got from them alluded to them being akin to Santa Claus. Remind me to sweep my house for bugs and cameras. Also, remind me to move and change my phone number. I don't want those creeps following me around anymore.

Even though they got the idea to make this drink by being a bunch of creeps, they did a good job with it. It really just tastes like a can of overly sweetened coconut water. It has a very strong coconut flavor, and a very weak energy drink flavor. It's a nice change of pace. It's also nice to have a non-carbonated energy drink. Rockstar is really going against the norm now. The downfall is that like all coconut waters it tastes its best when it is ice cold. The more the temperature of the fluid rises, the grosser it becomes. This is a fairly large can, so be prepared to either slam it, put it in the fridge for later, or deal with the gross warmness of it. Next thing I know Rockstar will read this and start making cans that keep drinks colder longer. Pray for Mojo.

Do you want a night of completely mundane dreams? Well then I have the water for you. I drank this last night and I dreamt that I was at the grocery store checking all the drinks against the list on my phone to see if we had reviewed it. You know, like how I spend most of my days. Then when I cashed out there was a problem with my card and a manager got called over. He then yelled at the cashier, whom I stuck up for and a shouting match ensued. Completely boring.

The thing is that you don't drink these to have insane crazy dreams. You drink them to sleep, and it performed that function perfectly. I tossed and turned for an hour last night. It was obviously that I wasn't getting any closer to Slumberland on my own. I needed help from a bottle. Within 15 minutes of slamming this down my gullet I was out cold.

The drink was also surprisingly not gross. As we've stated dozens of times drinks that come in shot forms are gross by nature. This on the other hand tastes like a flavor of Vitamin Water Zero. It's pomegranate and blueberry flavored, and it doesn't taste chemical at all. It tastes like flavored water, and it doesn't even taste concentrated. I like it as a drink, and I love it as a sleep aid. This is a win-win for everyone except my dreams.

Do you know how coffee is produced? I certainly had no idea until about a year ago when I visited a coffee plantation. Okay, I had an inkling when we got those Bai drinks to review that are made with coffee fruit. The point is that it grows on bushes and there are these little green berries. Once the berries ripen they turn red, and are harvested. Inside the berries are the coffee seeds or beans, which are dried and roasted to brew the coffee that you drink for your get up and go.

When the coffee berries are still green they still contain a decent amount of caffeine, so Starbucks, amongst other companies, have started using them to make alternative energy drinks. These drinks aren't quite coffee and they certainly aren't traditional energy drinks, but they still give you a nice little boost without any added chemicals.

This little guy right here is quite aromatic. As soon as I cracked it open my car was greeted with the scent of strawberries. It's one of their weird two tier flavored drinks. While it's in your mouth it tastes like a nice watered down, carbonated strawberry lemonade. It's not tart at all, but it still has that lemonade flavor. Then when you swallow the slight bitterness of the coffee berry kicks in, and the berry flavor fades away. When I was at that coffee plantation I tried a green coffee berry and it was incredibly bitter on it's own. The sweetener in here takes care of that a bit, but it lingers some in the aftertaste.

I do wish this was stronger on the lemonade side of things, but for an energy drink that doesn't taste like your run of the mill toxic garbage, I can handle what they give me.

It seems that every semi-major city in the United States has it's own regional soda. The thing with these sodas is that they are generally nothing spectacular. Most of the time they are on par with store-brand varieties, but sometimes they are something special like Johnnie Ryan or College Club. Day's, the Eastern Pennsylvanian soda, walks the line between generic and special. I feel like they would fall under the run of the mill category if they didn't make more unusual flavors like they do. For today's installment I'm drinking their pineapple soda. Not many companies make pop of this flavor and I really don't know why. Every pineapple pop I've tried has been more than decent. They all generally tend to taste basically the same as well. You know the candied pineapple flavor that vaguely tastes like the fruit, but you don't really care, because it's a great stand-alone flavor. This tastes like Slice, College Club, or Pop Shoppe's pineapple soda. As far as I know they all use the same recipe because I …€˜m guessing 90% of the people out there couldn't tell the difference in a blind taste test.

Will we someday end up trying every flavor of every regional soda? More than likely no, but we can dream big can't we?

This week my bosses were out taking care of business and kids three out of the five days this week. I've spent a lot of time alone here and to celebrate their return, we decided to go to a new restaurant/club called "Sinful." We joked around that it was a swinger's bar or that it was some satanic sanctuary. They opened for lunch and if Satan himself were selling salads and sandwiches, he's already light years nicer than everyone makes him out to be. One of the jokes is that that would only sell chocolate covered strawberries since it's "erotic" even though it's just messy in real life. Napkins and rocking the sheets should not go hand in hand.

We opened the door and this place could be no less sinful. It was a small restaurant area and an ambitious, cavernous dance space for when the sun goes down, the moon comes out, and the place turns into a nightclub. 10% restaurant and 20% bar and 70% open space ready for bumping and grinding. They only sold the most basic of menu items, though, like they didn't know the name of their own bar. I got a turkey pesto sandwich but other people got stuff like caprice sandwiches, chicken salad sandwiches, and the like. Totally simplistic.

All that talk about chocolate covered strawberries made me require something strawberry ASAP. Unfortunately since strawberries decided to grow like two weeks this year, I had no choice but to drink this Big Shot strawberry pop. Served in a gluttonously large container, this sweet treat should not be drunk by any less than half a dozen children. If you are over the age of twelve, you shouldn't be drinking this. It could not taste any more like those strawberry candies that have the strawberry gel in the middle. Using that logic, how many of those could you possibly eat in one setting? Three? Maybe? Please don't tell me that you could eat more because if you could, you've got to have some sort of dental issues. Strawberry's candy counterpart could not be worse for you. That doesn't make it any less delicious, but it does make it only ingestible in very small doses. A shot or two of this pop would have sufficed for me. I don't know if I drank the recommended single serving of a third of the bottle but either way, I've had enough. Thank you, Big Shot. I've had enough.

Western Pennsylvania is Tea Cooler Country. There are more dairies there that produce non-brewed iced teas than I have ever come across anywhere else. I must say that they are all delicious. Most companies that make teas like this overly sweeten them with HFCS to a point that it seems like it's flavored sugar water and not tea at all. PA knows how to do it correctly.

I would really like to visit one of these dairies. I wonder if it would be interesting, or just a bunch of barns filled with cows hooked up to those weird hose things. They are proof that technology can be terrifying. Other ways that technology is terrifying is that this drink is made with "instant tea solids." It just doesn't sound right. It sounds like it should be chunky and completely disgusting, but the drink is completely liquid and delicious. Sure it's on the very very sweet side of things, but it's a tea cooler and that is how they are supposed to be. What I found to be surprising about this drink is that it actually tastes like raspberries and not the weird sweet syrupy fake raspberry flavor that a lot of teas have. Well done Schneiders. I think Mike works for one of your relatives. Well Zach, are they your kin?

Peaches are soft, weak fruits. They've got a fuzzy exterior and are a soft pink color. They're wimps. Cue wild peaches: tough guys with hard exteriors. Emotionless, these guys go into bars, dump popcorn on your head and then hit on your girlfriend. They are notorious for kicking sand at you when you are at the beach. That's the worst kind of bully right there. They do it when you, a human, are asleep. All fruit has their own life. What?! You thought they just hung out on vines and trees all day? Nope. Wrong. When you juice a peach, which is like genocide, but that's an argument all in its own, you get juice. When you juice a wild peach, you get all the piss and vinegar that comes with it in the form of energy.

Hydrive, the foremost hater of wild peaches put this little drink together because they think you would like it and they actually have the ability to bottle up their enemy. If you could, you would. The taste of success is sweet, a little diet, but definitely sharper than a regular peach drink which is as soft as a fresh pup's fur. This doesn't taste like peach too much at all so if you hate peaches like Hydrive hates their crazy relatives, you might still like this.

If those wild peaches didn't pee in the window of CEO of Hydrive's car and put all those framing bags of wild peach poop on his front porch, we wouldn't be able to enjoy this drink. He is the mastermind behind this but they're seriously jerks.

Well pardner, I just finished reading the last of the Preacher comics. I honestly don't know why it took me so long to finally get to reading the series, as it was great. There are few storylines better than one about a guy who gets "possessed" by the offspring of an angel and demon and then goes off with his ladyfriend and a vampire to go find God and make him own up to all of the crap he's put humanity through. If that wasn't enough there are also a whole mess of references to cowboys, and even John Wayne is a semi-main character. I'd like to think that if either Mr. Wayne or Jesse Custer (the Preacher) were to drink an energy drink it would be Junior Buffalo.

There isn't a single other energy drink on the market that is backed by the ideas of cowboys and the old West. I don't know exactly why a cowboy would need an energy drink riding through the prairies all day. Perhaps he would use it to keep his nerve up for a gunfight. That's what I'll go with, gunfights.

So if you have an upcoming gunfight and you don't think you have the focus you need to take down your opponent, grab yourself a can of Junior Buffalo and as soon as you crush it draw your gun and walk out of that place a winner. Well, if you can call shooting someone making you a winner.

Opposed to their normal like the Junior version that I'm drinking here has no caffeine or taurine. All of the energy in this can comes from vitamins and L-carnitine. It's supposed to be a healthier version for all of the little ones running around the homestead. So I guess they won't be needing this for gunfights, unless the Old West in my head is way more messed up than I think it is. I guess the grown cow folk could feed this to their younger kin to help them with their chores. I really don't even know what this taste like. It doesn't really taste fully like an energy drink. I guess it's kind of a citrus grape flavor. It starts off nice, but it goes out harsh. I guess it's something kids would probably like.

I'd like to state that I am completely against giving kids energy drinks. They should have all of the energy they need just from being young. It really freaks me out when I see 12 year olds downing the largest size Monster they can find. While I don't fully endorse feeding this to kids, it is less unhealthy than the other options on the market.

If logic means anything anymore than the Mate Fusion company has a stockpile of syringes. It's the only logical way I can think of them getting this beverage to taste the way it does. I'm not talking about using said syringes for drug use; well actually I don't know anything about the employees of the company. Maybe some of them do enjoy spiking a vein every now and then before brewing some tea. How am I to know? I think the employees, sober, high or drunk brew up huge vats of yerba mate tea. Once it's ready they fill the syringes with the tea and then inject it directly into nearly overripe peaches. They shoot so much tea into the fruit that it almost bursts. Then they let the peaches sit for a twelve-hour period before dumping them in a giant juicer that filters out the pits, skins and chunks. All that is left is what you find in this bottle. It's bitter yerba mate tea mixed with some nicely ripened peaches. Just picture biting into one of those tea infused peaches before it goes into the juicer. So much sticky juice/tea would pour down your face and it would be delicious. I just hope they properly dispose of those needles. We don't want an epidemic on our hands.

If this drink were a person, it would be Arnold Schwarzenegger circa 1970 while he was giving it his all to become Mr. Olympia. Every sip is beating the living crap out of me. You all know that I've been around like a lot lizard at a trucker's parking lot convention when it comes to drinks. This one is downright violent. Every baby sip tastes like I'm drinking a thick, syrupy monster that is just so concentrated that mentally, my brain is telling my I made a mistake by not mixing it with water. Like if you put a packet of Kool-Aid into a shot of water. That's how I feel.

This is a strong drink. You know how big Arnold is. You know how big Lou Ferrigno is. These are the people that I'm comparing to this drink. It's an energy drink. It tastes like an energy drink. It's like a double shot of liquefied candy. It's G.D. brutal. Mind meltingly intense. I can say, without a doubt, this will give you energy. I can say, without a doubt, this will give you "bad" energy. I say, without a doubt, that you will make the same "Ooohhh" face with every sip that I did.

Do you want to talk about Batman? I can talk about him and the world of Gotham all G.D. day long. What do you want to talk about: The Killing Joke? Year One? The Long Halloween (aka the best story ever put out in comic form…€¦well excluding Sandman)? Perhaps you'd rather keep things up to date and talk about the Knightfall storyline seeing as that is the basis for a good chunk of the upcoming Christopher Nolan movie The Dark Knight Rises. Spoiler alert: Bane is going to “break the bat” so to speak, and I can't wait. You see for the most part I have a complete disinterest in superheroes. I find them boring. In fact I flat out hate Superman. Oh he can do pretty much everything and anything as long as kryptonite isn't around? What a cop out. Batman will have my support every time. He has no supernatural powers just a dude with conviction and a bunch of fun toys. I love the detective. There I said it. I have a giant bat tattooed on my chest (it's not the bat symbol, but it is in homage). I love science and logic and that is the basis for the bat. With all of my love why do I want to see him get the crap beat out of him by Bane? It humanizes him and makes me love him even more. It's also going to be fun to watch Azrael lose his cool.

To celebrate the release of the movie (and my birthday for those keeping track) Mountain Dew released a limited edition flavor called Dark Berry. In reality it could have just been called berry Mountain Dew, but maybe they were going for the dark, brooding that is Batman, or maybe they were just playing off The Dark Knight…€¦yeah that's probably it. It's one of the better Mountain Dew flavors. It's very sweet, and has a quasi energy drink taste to it, but not too much. It mostly tastes like Bruce Wayne was chilling, bored out of his mind after Bane broke his back and started mixing things together. He had some Pixie Stix, Kool Aid packets and Mountain Dew left over from Tim's stay at the manor so he threw them all together in a glass. He is a detective and a scientist in his own right, so that all makes sense to me.

Remember midnight on July 19th (well the 20th) the movie comes out, so spend all day celebrating my birthday and then end your day with the best movie of the year.

Oh big man. Yeah. You're a big man with a juice box. Look at you. You look ridiculous. You driving a Harley Davidson motorcycle, have a giant beard, and have a full time job as a lumberjack is completely negated because you are drinking a juice box. Look, I'm a librarian and I'm standing up to you. I am five foot two and you are easily a foot and a half taller and I feel confident standing up to you.

What are you even drinking there? Starfruit juice? Man! What a sissy! Can you believe this dude? Oh, you want me to try it? Yeah, dude. I'll crush this thing. Juice. Who cares. All day I'll drink this. Oh...oh man...what is this? This isn't starfruit. It's like a fruit that you meant to put sugar on but didn't know which container had the sugar and which had the salt and you made a terrible mistake. This tastes like salty fruit. Like that acceptable amount of salt in a Gatorade blown way out of proportion. Ugh, and you're just drinking this stuff? You really are a big man. I'm sorry about those things that I said. Drink boxes are secret recepticles that hide mystery drinks. My hat off to you. You are truly a manly man.

The Canadian government has recently shipped hundreds of koalas into their country. Originally they wanted to give the country a make over. People were getting tired of being associated with moose and beavers. They wanted a cuter image. Unfortunately the koalas tried to wage war on the beavers, and even though they were tired of the image, beavers are still are a sacred creature up north, so they couldn't allow the war to happen. As a result they moved the koalas to warehouse buildings where tropical fruit was grown under unnatural conditions. The koalas were trained to pick the fruit and to prepare it for juicing. This didn't work as well as the officials had hoped since the animals spend a majority of their day sleeping. There was not nearly enough fruit prepared to make a straight up juice, so a brainstorming session took place and it was decided to use the fruit they had to make flavored sparkling water.

Now I certainly would have preferred juice to flavored sparkling water, but I can't blame koalas for doing what comes natural. I can blame them for adding too much sugar and this tasting more like cheap soda than a sparkling water. It does have a guava/raspberry taste, but the added sugar takes away from it and leaves you knowing that if you spilled it all over the place you would have one hell of a sticky mess on your hands. Since this couldn't be juice I wish it had been subtler. As it stands I can't get through more than a couple of sips a sitting.