Overnight flights are simultaneously the best and the worst. They are the bet because you can sleep through most of the flight and it seems to pass quickly, which is always appreciated. Even if I have an early morning flight I tend to stay up the whole night before, just so that I can sleep on the plane.

They are the worst because no matter how tired you are; you never get a consistent sleep. It's impossible to get “sleep comfortable” on a plane. There's no place to put your head and if you try to sleep in a full sitting position your head will inevitably fall forward like you were in some boring class in high school that just put you out. Case in point is my last day in Vegas and the flight home. I woke up at 7:30 am and went and ate far too much at breakfast. Then I walked around all day to wear myself out. There was a point where I just thought that if I just sat down anywhere I would pass out, but I stayed vertical and kept moving. Our plane left around midnight. I tried to stay awake until they approved use of portable electronic devices so that I would put on some sleepy music to drown out all the noise around me. I remember the plane starting to move on the runway, but I apparently couldn't keep my eyes open for another minute because I was out before the plane left the ground. You would think that a situation like that would be ideal, but as it turns out that sleep lasted me a whole twenty minutes of a five-hour flight. As to be expected, my head fell forward and I woke up, unable to fall back asleep. Luckily I had planned ahead and brought a Koma Unwind with me. I quickly downed the berry chemical flavored liquid, which I initially thought was horrible, but left a pleasant aftertaste. It's rare that these shots truly taste pleasant, so I'll take all of the niceness I can get out of them. After about 10 minutes of pondering the taste I was asleep again. I wasn't able to sleep through the flight, I woke up probably every 20 minutes or so, but the unwind shot helped me to fall back to sleep with relative ease. The moments that I was awake were extremely annoying, but I will take that collective 2 minutes over being conscious for a five-hour flight any day.

When I moved back to Buffalo for 10 months, the number one complaint I got from fellow reviewer Jason was that I didn't review more Hotlips soda while I lived in Portland. You'd think I passed up a chance to see a one-off Fugazi reunion by the consistency that he would bring it up. If he were my father, he might have disowned me, or at least cut off my allowance for a couple weeks.

So now I'm back in Portland where Hotlips soda can be found everywhere. For those who are not familiar with it, Hotlips is a Portland, Oregon based chain of pizza shops that also make their own soda. They are available on tap and bottled at various grocery stores around the greater Portland area. The great thing about Hotlips soda is that it's made with real fruit, something I didn't appreciate the first time I had one. It only contains whole ingredients, no gross chemicals or filler. People's biggest complaint with Hotlips is their soda is VERY lightly carbonated, so little that sometimes it seems like it's not at all. While it was off putting at first to me, I've grown to like it. Now don't get me wrong, I love carbonated soda, I just think of this as it's own thing and try not to compare it to traditional soda as far as the carbonation goes.

Now to this flavor, black raspberry. It's one of my favorite fruits so I might be biased, but I think it's delicious. Like most flavors, there are little chunks of berry in it that make the drink. If this weren't so expensive, I would probably drink these all the time.

There are certainly apples in this can. No doubt about that. They at one time might have been great apples, too. The cream of the crop. Then science and nutrition and kids had to come into the equation and mess it all up like they always do. Have you ever had a pure apple juice that was too sweet? Nope. Mother Nature has bred apple juice to be just right all the time. Now you take a drink like this which is essentially apple juice with sugar in it, somehow manage to sell it as an energy drink when everyone knows that sugar is not really "energy" as it is a temporary shot in the arm, and market it as such. You can taste the green apples and you are excited. Then follows the first quasi-offensive, more bittering Stevia taste I've ever had and unnecessary carbonation. What was wrong with apple juice that you had to do this to it? Nestle, you should be ashamed of yourself. You ruined a good thing.

The year is 1998 and cucumber melon reigns supreme. It's everywhere from lotions to candles...okay that's pretty much the only places that you would find that combo, but I had a candle in my room that smelled like that, and one of my best friends always used the lotion so in my eyes (or nose) the scent was everywhere. Then suddenly it seemed to vanish. I recently found cucumber melon hand soap, but my ladyfriend said she didn't like the way it smelled, so it remained on the store's shelf. Now here I am sitting in the "Golden Girls" hotel in Las Vegas waiting while said ladyfriend packs up her things. I'm just sitting on the bed sipping this wonderful soda. Cucumber and melon are both two of my favorite flavors, so them together is a no brainer. If it were any other flavor I would not have dropped the money on a four pack, but I just couldn't say no to these old friends. I'm glad I couldn't.

This is essentially a Mr Q Cumber soda with some honeydew thrown in the mix. I can guarantee that 99% of the people who try this soda will be surprised by how much it actually tastes like both of it's flavors. It's uncanny. I love it. I know a certain sound engineer in Buffalo who will probably love it even more. He ordered three cases of Mr Q Cumber after I introduced it to him, and I bet he'll order three of these as well.

When a lemon winks in your direction it would be wise of you to pay attention. There is no telling what disaster may befall you if you chose to ignore it. Let's face it, lemons are bastards and you'll more than likely get a squirt of citric acid in your unsuspecting eye. No one wants that, well unless that is some weird fetish you have. I'm sure there is a community online for folks like you to meet up and ignore winking lemons. I'm just not a part of it.

As I've said in the past Hubert's makes fantastic lemonades. Nice and tart the way lemonade should be. Their raspberry half & half left a lot to be desired because the tea tasted watered down. They got things right with their peach line though. It starts off as a great tasting peach tea and it fades into nice sweet lemonade as it swishes across your tongue. The problem with the raspberry was that it tasted like raspberry lemonade with tea added to it. With this it seems more like a flavored tea mixed with regular lemonade and that certainly works much better for me.

So here I sit refreshed, with happy taste buds and clear vision. This is what reviewing beverages should always be like.

Man, I could really go for a Vitamin Water now. It would be so totally refreshing. Unfortunately I'm stuck here out in the desert and there's not a store for at least a hundred miles. I really should have thought ahead before I went on this hike. Well I guess I tried. I did buy a bunch of granola bars, some packets of Emergen-C, and I brought some water. Hey wait! If I pour the emergency into the water it would be something like a Vitamin Water. Goddamnit! I bought the wrong water! I got sparkling water and not still. This is terrible. Here I am stuck in the desert and the only fluid I have is carbonated. This blows. Oh well, I guess I could still mix it together. At least it's the berry flavored one and not citrus. Well this isn't as bad as I would have expected it to be, but it's not very good either. It tastes a bit powdery. I guess I didn't mix it together all the way. Actually this tastes exactly like the wild berry flavored Vitamin Fizz. I didn't really like it then and I don't really like it now. Too bad I have nothing else to drink and I'm dehydrating.

Baby girl you're getting married today and I have just the thing for you. Don't look at me like that! No, it's not an energy drink! It's a beauty elixir. It will make you glow girl! You know how they refer to people as blushing brides? Well in the olden days that would happen naturally, but with all of the artificial crap that is in food now a days your body needs a little help. That's where Hansen's comes in. They have come up with a formula with all of the vitamins and nutrients that a bride to be needs to give her the blush at the alter. On top of that they gave it a nice berry flavor. It's a mixture of blackberries, blueberries raspberries and strawberries. For a little extra something something they even added a little bit of cranberry in there. Unfortunately in order for the formula to work properly they did have to add a little sucralose to it, but it's so slight of an amount that you can't really tell that it's there at all. The acerola in there you can taste a bit and it gives it a weird twist. It's weird, but it's good.

Baby girl you are going to blush so hard at the alter after you drink this, your husband isn't going to know what to think. Seriously though, do you think anyone is really going to believe you just because you're wearing a white dress? Let's get real here.

Hubert's makes lemonade that is to be reckoned with. It's the freshest tasting bottled lemonade I have ever tried. It's so tart and the little bits of lemon are an added bonus. When I saw that they started to make half & halfs I instantly bought a couple of flavors.

Unfortunately this drink didn't live up to their straight lemonades. It tastes like they look the base of one of their great raspberry lemonades and mixed it with a very watered down iced tea. There's no real tea taste and the mixture takes away from the lemonade. There is no longer any real tartness to it, a bummer indeed. I expected greatness, but what I got was blandness.

Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you realize, "Holy crap I'm at the Grand Canyon." Okay, by sometimes I mean once in my life, and by once I mean this morning. I've been waiting to come to the Grand Canyon basically my whole life. I'm an outdoor kid and my favorite place in the world is Letchworth State Park aka the Grand Canyon of the East. Finally I was at the real thing and it melted my brain. I knew it was big, but it was the most expansive thing I have ever seen. Seriously my brains started to leak out of my ears and nose. I think I need to see a specialist.

The thing about the Grand Canyon that you don't think about is that there is nothing really around it, so food is super expensive. I knew I needed to keep up my energy, and seeing as I'm sure as hell not eating at McDonalds (no matter what Mike says) it was either burritos or buying a loaf of bread and peanut butter (the combination of the two which ran me $10). I also picked up this bottle of Odwalla to give me a little pick me up. It was a wise choice. The majority of the flavor came from the oranges, mango and peach in it, but it was the plum that really rounded things out. On a "vacation" where I have been eating fairly terribly it was welcomed to consume something that tasted and actually was good for you. I ate some peanut butter sandwiches, pounded this bottle of juice and then started hiking into the canyon. We made it to the first rest house (1.5 miles) before a lightning storm made us turn back. While I loved the canyon I had no interest in getting burnt to a crisp by natural electricity on the sides of it's walls.

Can I let you in on a secret? I love grocery stores. I find them comforting to walk around. I really love going into grocery stores in other cities to see how they compare to the ones back home. Yesterday we drove back from the awesomeness of the Grand Canyon to the wretchedness of Las Vegas. On the way we stopped off in Kingman, AZ for dinner. We also hit up a grocery store, and for a fairly small dessert town this store was packed. Their drink selection was one of the best I have ever seen in a grocery store outside of Whole Foods. On top of that almost all of it was on sale. Who can argue with Sobe for $.88? How could I argue with an $.88 Sobe that we haven't reviewed yet, and that I've never seen back home?

I thought this drink would be nice for the morning since orange and carrot juice are the 2nd and 3rd ingredients. I should have read the label more, because it turns out it only contains 9% juice. As a result it tastes more like a drink than a juice, and "drinks" are simply not fit for just waking up. I don't want to wake up to 56 grams of added sugar. I want to be in a waking dream of freshly squeezed juice at every turn. Instead I'm stuck with this that has that flavor that is distinct to Sobe drinks. It's definitely more orange than carrot. Actually, it's one of those drinks that if someone poured you a glass and didn't say what it was you would never suspect there to be carrots in it. I mean who ever suspects carrots? Well I guess shepherds pie would.

I used to eat a lot of candy when I was a kid but now I don't eat as much. I don't like candy flavored like fruits I don't like. Why would I? Why would I dislike a product made by a product that I like? That doesn't make sense. Sure, there are people who don't like pickles and love relish or people that don't like guacamole but love avocados. That's poppycock if you ask me. I can't think of anything like that for myself. Peaches are a fruit that I don't really care about in its entirety. Candy peaches, sliced peaches, whole peaches, peach juice are all in my "I'm fine with not eating that" category. I don't know why. The taste isn't too bad. It's not like I don't drink a bunch of peach stuff and rate it objectively, but I just don't really like them. Which brings me to this drink.

This drink was reviewed better by a co-worker than myself very simplistically, "It tastes like melted down peach Dum-Dums." I couldn't agree more. It tastes like candy peaches more than a real peach but even this drink is overly sugar'd. I don't hate peach tea too much because it's inherently light in flavor and sometimes just gives a nice flavor to a regular tea. This is unfinishable in my opinion. Likewise, if you can drink the whole thing, you've got to be kidding me because it's way too much. You drink it and instantly learn a lesson in sweeteners and tooth decay. I'd rather not learn a lesson through some kid pop so I will stop while I am ahead.

Here's what I like: the increase of the use of dragonfruit in drinks. Pitaya kicked it off in my book with their usage of it and now these other guys come along and start integrating it in. I can't help but think that something happened that prompted people to start using it. You know how people say that things "multiply like mice?" Maybe the dragonfruit started spreading out of control like mice trapped in a science classroom over summer vacation. One turns into two, into four, into eight, into sixteen, into thirty-two and so on. I would love a running fruit like this to take over my backyard, honestly. I might and probably am not in the correct zone, but if I was, it could be awesome until it gets out of hand and I've got to call in some big guns to take care of my fruity mess.

Lipton grabbed dragonfruit by the reins and choked the living daylights out of the jerk. This tea, mixed with the strawberry, which tastes like real strawberries and dragonfruit, which tastes like real dragonfruit is a fruit tea lovers dream come true. There is some sort of competition going on between this flavor and a honey peach, which just came out. I don't have to taste that one to know that this will win in my book. You'll probably see that review soon as I purchased both yesterday and actually look forward to proving myself one way or the other.

Oh boy. The entirety of the South is going to be upset. Celestial Seasonings, the entry-level tea company that we don't have any reason to hate, is going to get themselves into trouble with this little guy. I've said it a lot, but I'll say it again. The key to a good sweet tea is the lack of ingredients. Celestial Seasoning knows what time it is and they know tea but for some reason, they never made the jump from regular, inexpensive hot tea, to cold brew tea. Now they have and people should watch out.

This tea is wonderful. It tastes like a great, homemade sweet tea. It's just the right amount of sweet and still tastes like a real tea. It's all contained in that tiny little container, too.

I only bought one type of Keurig K-Cups prior to this and that's the dark hot chocolate. Spending $2 on a drink is alright. It's right at the cusp of where I can take it or leave it. You can't buy less than sixteen of these and it costs usually around $11, which, to us Thirsty Dudes, it astronomical because we only need one drink and sometimes that is too much. In hindsight, I'm alright with spending that much now. Not because it comes out to less than $1 per glass, but because it's good enough that I will easily drink it again and again.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about McDonald's as of late. I am thirty. When I was a kid, my parents would take us to McDonald's. It was an event. It wasn't a "my family is poor and we can only afford McDonald's" routine. We were a family of six and food gets expensive to everyone, plus, fifteen plus years ago, we didn't know what we do today about McDonald's so to take a family there for dinner wasn't frowned down upon. Sure, now I eat at McDonald's two to three times a year now that I'm a crappy adult, but McDonald's is trying. To all of the McHaters out there, they're trying. You realize that this isn't Mama Mia's Pizzeria, right? They don't have like three restaurants outside of the South Bend Indiana city line. They have over 33,000 locations worldwide and when they have to make a change, they have to roll it out to almost all those locations. When people decided that the McNuggets weren't safe for consumption and they rolled out the "100% Chicken" McNuggets, that was a huge ordeal that has to take months if not years, to deploy.

So McDonald's is trying. They've got a new, fancy coffee shop built into stores and have dabbled with some Angus beef and more quality ingredients than the stuff they've been using the past two decades. Even people that hate McDonald's have to give them credit for trying to compete while simultaneously trying to increase the quality of their food while still keeping prices low. Not an easy task. I've been thinking and reminiscing about my youth inside of McDonald's.

While reading The Impulsive Buy's awesome review of this drink, I decided I needed it. I didn't ride my bike to work so that I could drive to work and stop at McD's and get this drink. I'm happy I stopped. You know why? Well it's simple. It's because this is a very good drink. If I could extend on what the lovely and talented Marvo said, I would say, in true Thirsty Dudes fashion, that this drink tastes like the minds behind Caramello created a limited edition "coffee" version. You've got a chocolate and coffee outside and the standard, delicious caramel inside. Every once in a while you get the rather pleasurable experience of sucking up some baby sized chocolate chips in your mouth through the straw.

McDonald's. I have eaten at your locations less and less through the years but that doesn't mean that I have given up on you. You are a giant cooperation, but you're not evil. You do what you have to do when you are that big. Cuts have to happen and quality has to go down. It's natural. Your nuggets are wonderful and I still love McChicken sandwiches. You're alright in my book. Also, I doubt you're hurting so don't take what people say so hard.

I am currently out in the middle of the desert on a spirit quest. Instead of being in a sweat lodge I'm in a air conditioned car. Also, instead of taking peyote I am drinking Peace Tea's cranberry tea. It has caused me to have an Epiphany, which is the desert is absolutely terrible and it doesn't matter if it's a dry heat, when the temperature is over 100 degrees it is still absolutely terrible. I normally hate air conditioning in cars, but it's a lifesaver in this circumstance. This tea is also helping to keep me refreshed. There are three servings in this can, but I downed the entire thing in less than ten minutes. It's your general cane sugar sweetened black tea with some cranberry juice thrown in the mix. It has all of the sweetness and flavor of a cranberry juice, but it lacks the bitterness and the harshness of the fruit.

Peace tea has stepped up with tallboy tea world. Now it's the other brands turn to respond. Eff the desert.

So I'm in Vegas for my sister's wedding. We spent three flights that were all delayed and took way, way too long. We thought we had missed our last connecting flight, because the one before it was late landing. We had to book it through the airport and made it to the terminal just in time. Once we finally made it to Vegas it took forever to get off our flight. When we made it to the car rental they said they were out of the cars we wanted, so they upgraded us to a Mustang convertible. For most people that would be awesome, but we are driving 5 hours to the Grand Canyon, and there is very little room in the car. Annoyances abound.

Finally we made it to our hotel, and they told us the only nonsmoking room they have left is right over where the bands play. I said whatever I just needed sleep. We dragged our bags to the room to find out that not only did they forget to turn on the air conditioning, so the room was a million degrees, but the band they spoke of was actually a DJ party that goes on until 4am with constant terrible beats. It was so damn loud.

I was so unbelievably tired, but due to the heat and the noise, I just couldn't fall asleep. I will be eternally grateful that I had packed this sleep shot, and not drank it for the plane (and read comics instead). I downed it, and I don't remember much after that until I awoke at 9am to a freezing room. The air conditioning decided to work properly. That is what I talk about a functional product. It has a diet pineapple sports drink flavor to it. It doesn't taste like poison, so I was thankful for that. It was light, with a decent flavor and after downing a shot I was out. Thank you Dream Water.

ps. We switched rooms in the morning after someone else checked out. Things may turn out okay after all.

This is basically the standard that all other apple juice is compared to. I'm sure it's not the original, but it might as well be. Motts reigned supreme in the 80's with their juice and applesauce, and it will always be the standard to me.

Hubert's lemonade/limeade doesn't mess around. You'd think with a slogan like "Only the Best Will Do" and a sour faced lemon on the bottle, they were trying to talk themselves up in order for you to ignore the mediocre liquid inside. Hubert's doesn't need to sink to such tactics. Every flavor I've had by them has been some of the best lemon/limeade I've ever tasted. And that sour faced lemon isn't an exaggeration, it's really tart! The cherry flavor in this really shines through as well, giving the sour limeade a literal 'cherry on top'. Good work Hubert's, keep making awesome lemonade and I'll keep buying it

Italian Fest will be next week. I have a strange thing where I don't like to eat Italian food because I feel like I've never had Italian food that is any better than what I can make at home. I know that I have just irritated every Italian that is reading this as well as anyone who is reading this with an Italian lurking over their shoulder. Italian Fest is like St. Patrick's Day where everyone is Italian for the day. Well, everyone except Sicilians since there is some...thing...going on there.

To combat Italian Fest my own, stupid way, I decided to make some Italian food myself in the comfort of my own home. I boiled some boxed penne, and put some Goya chipotle marinade in some pre-made mushroom sauce and ate it and it was fantastic. I won. I beat Italian Fest. I decided to accompany my victory meal with a cold glass of MiO lemonade. I didn't know what to expect because my ideal lemonade has a pound of pulp in it. I know the container's restrictions so I wasn't surprised that there wasn't pulp in there. A couple squirts later, the water has turned into lemonade. This lemonade tasted like little kid's lemonade that was a bit watered down. That also means that you could make better MiO lemonade by not following directions and adding "too much" mix. It's got a bit of a diet taste, but it's a diet drink so who's surprised there? Not I. Not I.

Dear Italians. You're wonderful people but can keep your gross, cheese filled desserts.

Energy drinks are a dime a dozen. There is one vat of that crud that all of the other energy drink companies suckle off of like a mama pig and her lil' piglets. They take the same stuff, add one ingredient, put it in a can with their logo on it, and sell it as their own stuff. Someone, probably a secret conglomerate company, is making a killing off of these little guys, but not Amp. They decided to take their business elsewhere. They are the rebels, the vigilantes. They do things their own way. They somehow managed to create an energy drink that doesn't taste like an energy drink. If you drank this and didn't know it was an energy drink, you would wonder why a half hour later you were bouncing off the walls.

This drink just tastes like grape pop. If you like grape pop and need a pick-me-up, this is it. It doesn't taste too syrupy regardless of the corn syrup. It just tastes like grape pop. Did I say that? It's just grape pop, in case I didn't.

There is an entire new line of these and now I'm not as disinterested in reviewing them because they don't taste like what "the man" thinks an energy drink should taste like. All of a sudden, Amp is like a cool dude that just came to your high school who might be 25, has a full beard, and somehow rides a motorcycle and keeps his hair looking sharp. How does he do it? You'll never know. You'll never be as cool as him and man, is that bike loud. The teachers hate it but even they think he's cool.